


The Chronic Hero Perspective

by niklitera



Series: Ad Astra Per Aspera [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Sirius Black, Changed canon (bc Joanne is a bigot), Fix-It, Gay Remus Lupin, Good Slytherins, Hogwarts Professors, Hurt/Comfort, I'm rubbing my grubby transqueer hands all over this, M/M, Original Seer Character - Freeform, Polyamory, Redemption, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Self Therapy for the Author, Self-Insert, Sirius Black Lives, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Starts from Third Year to Eighth Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 74
Words: 512,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25823623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niklitera/pseuds/niklitera
Summary: There's a new Astronomy professor at Hogwarts.(An extremely diverse retelling and fix-it of the series, starring a trans oc, too much music and a surprising amount of pro-Slytherin propaganda.)
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s)/Sirius Black, Severus Snape/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Ad Astra Per Aspera [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983749
Comments: 408
Kudos: 711
Collections: 5 Star HP Works





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This is a self insert especifically made to make me feel good. Read it or not, don't try and make sense of the things that really don't make sense. It's just here for me.

There’s only so much nostalgia Elías could take. 

It looked the same, sounded the same, the noisy crunching of frozen grass under his feet making a smile curl over his lips. It even smelled the same - pine. It smelled so much of pine and the smoke rose over the hut before he knocked on the ratty door, arms moving behind his back, heels lifting as he grinned wide. He hadn’t seen Hagrid in five years but he could only hope that he hadn’t forgotten that stupid little kid that came to visit him more often than not.

The door opened, and immediately a hulking figure froze.

“Merlin - Elías?! Is that you?!” he bellowed and it takes no time for the wizard to stride over and lift the man in his arms, laughing loudly. “It _is_ you! What are you doing here?!”

“Hagrid! Ow, ow, ow!” he laughed, stumbling once he was back on his feet, giggling a bit as his hand rubbed his lower back. “Shit, Hagrid, you still got a mean grip - I’m here to say hi! I - didn’t Dumbledore tell you?”

“Tell me what?” he asked before sudden barking interrupted them inside the hut, making Elías grin, quickly moving forward so Fang could reach him, the drooling mutt jumping all over him. “Fang! Fang, down, boy! Aw, you put mud all over him!”

“It’s fine! It’s fine,” Elías smiled, petting the dog with enthusiasm, his good mood vibrantly shining on his face. “I have to change for the sorting ceremony anyway,” he shrugged, looking up at Hagrid. “If Dumbledore didn’t tell you - I’m here to stay.”

He stood up straight, beaming at Hagrid while the half-giant welcomed him inside.

“Here to stay, huh?”

“Yes,” Elías stepped into the hut and let Fang drool over his shoes. “I’m the new Astronomy Professor.”

* * *

“I’ll be honest,” Professor Burbage chuckled as Elías finally settled down to eat lunch, pants full of mud and probably with a chipped tooth thanks to that ungodly muffin Hagrid had offered him. “I didn’t expect you to fill this particular gap, Mr Fernández.”

“Is that so?” he asked, reaching for the pitcher of water, one eyebrow lifted as he glanced at the empty spot where he should’ve been.

“We all know you should be teaching potions,” Professor Vector huffed and Professor McGonagall quickly interrupted.

"That position is taken, Septima," she sighed. "And although I agree that Mr Fernández is an excellent portioneer, he did not apply for it."

"Severus could've taken the position in Defense, couldn't he?" Septima replied, frowning, and Elías looked intensely into his cut of chicken and potatoes instead of paying attention to the discussion around him. He was the only man at the table, too, surrounded by older, more experienced witches who had taught him back when he had been studying at Hogwarts, just five years prior. "Who is the new Defense professor, anyway?"

"Mr Remus Lupin," Hooch spoke up from over the rim of her goblet and, immediately, Pomona let out a loud laugh which she immediately covered with her hands. "No, no, laugh! I did, as well! This is Minerva's worst nightmare!"

"Don't think so," Charity said softly and a grim mood took over the table for a moment. "A bit - funny, isn't it? That he came to Hogwarts when Sirius Black br -"

"I'd rather talk about _anything_ else, Charity," Professor McGonagall spoke, adjusting her glasses as she took a healthy sip of her goblet. Elías stayed quiet as she set it down on the table. "Remus Lupin is not an unruly teenager anymore - he's an adult who's had a very complicated work life and someone who happened to be free to take this job, which he's always been good at, might I remind you."

"I'm starting to feel out of the loop here," Elías finally broke his silence, laughing a bit nervously. "Who is he?"

"Oh, of course! You two never encountered each other - of course, you're twelve years apart," Pomona giggled, nudging him, the smell of fresh dirt wafting to his nose. "He was a dear student of ours, years ago. Used to be James Potter's and Peter Pettigrew's best friend, yes he was!"

"And Sirius Black's," Minerva added with a soft sigh. "We all know how that ended."

"Right," Elías murmured, swallowing. "So uh… James Potter as in… Harry Potter's father?"

"Yes, indeed," Pomona nodded. "The four of them were inseparable! Best friends. Got into all sorts of trouble, gave Minerva double her workload!"

"And then Black betrayed them," Hooch added, voice hard. "I suppose once a Black -"

"That's enough," Minerva cut in, the table going silent. "I suggest you stop talking about this at once. Petty gossip is allowed only when it doesn't involve the betrayal and murder of multiple people. Do I need to be on guard for when Mr Lupin arrives?"

"No, Minerva," Hooch replied, now softer. "Pardon me. That was… I'm sorry."

Elías just poked at his potatoes, eyes wide, wondering how the fuck he'd gotten right in the middle of it already. He'd taken the job because of Dumbledore, but had Dumbledore known -

No. No, he couldn't _possibly_ know. He hadn't told Dumbledore _everything_. It was impossible to. There was too much.

Well, at least he hadn't been told to fill the Divination position.

* * *

"Wait, wait, _what_?" Elías babbled as he looked over to the board in front of him, the poster filled with the scribbles of the professors gathered around him. "Holy shit, I get to pick?"

" _Language_ , Mr Fernández," McGonagall scowled, making him flush with embarrassment. "Good to know you haven't changed at all, hmm?"

"I won't swear in front of the kids. Promise," he gave her a little nervous grin. "But - for real, I get to pick my rooms? Why don't we all haul in a tower? I always thought you did!"

"We like more privacy than that," Vector chuckled, amused, stirring her tea as she sat on the couch. The furniture in the professor's lounge was _astonishingly_ nice. Or well, would be, if it wasn't a depressingly drab grey. "There are a few available - near the Slytherin dungeons, if you're the nostalgic type. Or closer to the Astronomy tower, if you're more practical."

"Oh," Elías murmured, eyes wide as he saw the spots she mentioned. "Those are nice… as, he- _ck_ ," he quickly corrected at McGonagall's narrowed eyes. "Alright, I'm going for the Astronomy tower. I like heights. And I'm not really a Slytherin anymore."

"Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin!" Vector replied, laughing, giving him a welcoming grin.

Despite her smile, though, Elías couldn't help but ponder her words; an echo of Hooch before, and the betrayal of Sirius Black.

* * *

The rooms were adequate.

They were more than adequate, in fact - a little lounging area with two couches and a coffee table, shelves for him to fill with books to the brim, a fireplace big enough for him to comfortable brew a potion or two and, of course, his bedroom area. It was a bit smaller than the lounge, and smaller than he'd expected but it only made it cozier. His bags were there already and he sighed as he realized he needed to unpack them.

The view was the best part of all, though. The biggest window saw to the lake and the edge of the forbidden forest, the wide expanse of the back of the Hogwarts terrains. He sat for a moment on the pillowed edge of the window, transfixed, a little _something_ in his chest, making his throat clog. 

He loved Hogwarts so very much. It made something expand inside him, to be back within these walls, here to _stay_. He would miss his parents, he'd miss Spain and the beach and the friends he'd made on the small coastal town where he'd settled; nd perhaps he hadn't made any friends during his seven years in Hogwarts, and maybe he had been mildly bullied here and maybe he had felt lonely, so very lonely, with visions of death and impending war in his head but -

But the castle meant safety. And his parents were safe, as well. Dumbledore had promised him protection, the same way he'd offered protection to so many others. Now he was here - he had a stable job, he had a few friends in the Hogwarts staff and soon he would be able to start _working_ towards… _something_.

Anything. Anything but the butchering he'd so often see behind his eyelids.

Elías began to unpack, the first thing being his record player, which he had already tinkered with so it would tap into the magical energy within the castle. He let music play as he unpacked - physically, without magic. It was a tedious task but if he had no rush, he'd rather do it by hand.

He was halfway through his second bag when he heard a knock on his door, making him stand quickly, a wave of his wand turning the volume of his record player down. Behind the door, in the hallway, stood Albus Dumbledore himself, eyes twinkling from behind his glasses.

"Headmaster," Elías said, surprised to see him before the sun had set. "Is everything alright? Come in, come in!"

He took a step back, letting the elder wizard in, closing the door after him. Dumbledore said nothing, but he took in the state of his quarters- shelves filled by now, his notes spilled over the coffee table, a cup of coffee sitting there, his bags halfway done from the open bedroom door.

"I see you're making yourself at home right away," he smiled, watching Elías with kind blue eyes. "Is everything to your satisfaction?"

"Very much so," he laughed quietly, rubbing his arm. Dumbledore always made him feel like a child, sometimes in a good way. Other times… "I've been unpacking."

"I can see that," he chuckled, head leaning in a bit. "Any news? Anything that disturbed your peace?"

Elías frowned, awkwardly shifting his weight from one leg to another. "Uh...not really, Headmaster. It's - it doesn't always happen at once. Normally if it's a big thing, it'll be over time. And then suddenly I'll have the full picture. Most of the time, the things I see are not really important. Like songs. Or pieces of movies. Or half of a headline about the biggest pumpkin batch on a town I immediately forget the name of."

"Yes, yes, so you've said…" Dumbledore hummed, eyes still on him, intense and reading. "Today, though - have you got...anything?"

"Not...really," Elías confessed dumbly, shame and inadequacy washing over him, cheeks turning a rosy pink. "J-Just… the whole Black thing. I already told you that he won't try and kill Harry Potter."

"It's still not a risk I'm willing to take, I'm afraid," Dumbledore replied, voice kind, a bit condescending, if Elías thought about it. "He's a dangerous individual. And Mr Lupin is here on pure coincidence. I'd still like you to keep an eye on him, though."

Elías looked up at him, eyes wide, swallowing hard, "You - you want me to _spy_ on him? No! No, I'm not - I'm not _spying_ for you! Or for anyone! I don't do that!"

"I know, I know, I'm not - it wouldn't be like _that_ , Elías," he quickly responded, hands moving to his shoulders, warm and soothing. Elías found them anything but. "Just - as I said. Keep an eye on him, hmm?"

The younger man wanted to reply, say anything else, but Dumbledore simply smiled and nodded at him before walking out, making his heart sink to the bottom of his feet. Maybe Lupin was here for Dumbledore to keep an eye on. To make sure he had nothing to do with the Potter's betrayal.

But if so - was Elías here for protection, or for Dumbledore's ulterior motives as well?

The thought left him a bit breathless and he felt the edges of anxiety trying to engulf him. Instead of letting it take over, though, he quickly turned up the volume of his record and began to wave his wand for some semblance of order within his wardrobe. His clothes were in place, his toiletries, his testosterone inside his nightstand and his astronomy charts hung by the fireplace. He finished by putting his favorite knitted blanket over the back of one of the couches, sighing, thinking of going quickly to shower and change before the feast when the door to the hallway opened and Elías was left staring at a scarred, tall, blond man that made his heart jump to his throat.

There was silence, for a moment, the man watching him with increasingly coloring cheeks and Elías realized that this was, indeed, Remus Lupin. He'd probably confused his room with McGonagall's office. Or with his own office - or hell, he'd thought these quarters were empty.

"I am _so sorry_ ," he began, his green eyes wide as he began to profusely apologize. "I thought - Professor Flitwick told me - it's the closest quarters to my office, I thought -"

"It's okay! It's okay, don't worry! I get it!" He laughed, facing him now and _okay_ , he's - fuck, he didn't think about Lupin being this handsome. "I just arrived, too. Three new professors, it's normal for something to uh, yeah, don't sweat it."

Lupin gave a little embarrassed laugh, shoulders bunching up. He wore a worn sweater and pants with some holes in them - Elías didn't think it was a fashion statement and he felt nauseous as he realized that this man was indeed a werewolf. 

Wizarding society wasn't very nice to magical creatures.

"I'm Elías Fernández," he introduced himself, stepping forward and thrusting his hand out, a smile on his lips. "I'm the new Astronomy professor. So… sorry for taking these rooms first. But I've to climb a _lot_ of stairs," he laughed.

Lupin looked surprised at his hand, almost startled into stepping back. He glanced at it, then at Elías, then swallowed before shaking it. His grip wasn't firm and his hands were calloused. He has plenty scars on the back of it, over his knuckles and fingers. 

"Remus Lupin, new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," he introduced, watching Elías now. "You're...American?"

"Spanish," he corrected, laughing as he let his hand fall back down. Lupin was tall, and he had to tilt his chin up to look him in the eye. "The accent is just muggle stuff. I learned English before I came to England to study at Hogwarts."

"Ah, I see," he replied, eyes running over his features, studying Elías' features, looking guarded. "When did you arrive?"

"Just this morning," Elías hummed, looking over his shoulder at the room. "Freshly unpacked. It’s strange to be back at Hogwarts from such a different perspective."

"Yes, ah…" Lupin looked _extremely_ uncomfortable, rubbing his surely clammy hands on his pants, swallowing. "And Dumbledore… told you… uh…" he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "... about me?"

"Yes," Elías replied, leaning his hip on the back of his couch, arms crossed but face open. "He had to let the whole faculty know. Are you okay with that?"

"Am I - _excuse_ me?" He wheezed out, his green eyes wide, breathing a bit hard. "I - and you're - you're alright with working with - with a _werewolf_."

"Well, I don't know you, I have no idea if I'm gonna like working with you, but I'm pretty sure you become a wolf only once a month, opposed to one of our coworkers who is an ogre twenty four hours, seven days a week," he scowled a bit, thinking of having to work with the one teacher who had crushed his dreams. "So yes, Lupin, I'm alright with you."

He looked stunned, like he'd taken a bludger to the head and didn't know where he'd fall, so Elías gave him a small smile, nodding at him.

"You don't scare me, Professor Lupin. No more than McGonagall, thats for sure."

 _That_ drew a laugh out of him; tiny, small thing as he rubbed the back of his neck. His hand was shaking, though, and he looked too pale. Elías was sure Lupin thought he was either a fool or he was lying. He didn't blame Lupin for the assumption.

"Well, I suppose I should go find a new place to settle, then," Lupin finally spoke, giving Elías a kind, small smile. "It was nice to meet you, Professor Fernández."

Elías was too surprised at the title itself to even say goodbye as the Defense professor walked away, waving softly at him, and for the first time he realized that he was a _professor at Hogwarts_. 

"Professor. Professor Fernández. _Professoooor Fernández._ Gods, that sounds so fucking stupid," he giggled to himself, rubbing his face, sighing. "Well, at least she won't come for your ass here."

* * *

The Sorting Ceremony was, by far, the most disorienting thing that had happened to Elías today. Hagrid sat beside him, Pomona on his other side, both chit-chatting idly with him and each other through the shouts of the Sorting Hat. Elías was _reeling_ at the fact that he was sitting at the end of the Great Hall, watching the tables where he'd once been, eyes on the Slytherins. He clapped hard whenever a student got sorted into his old house, grinning widely, Pomona nudging him with a little smile. She'd always treated him and his brown thumb the kindest, even when it landed him in the hospital wing. He liked plants - plants didn't like _him_. His poor begonia was probably still crying in his windowsill back at home.

"Harry isn't here yet," Hagrid whispered over to Elías and Pomona. "Did something happen?"

"Minerva told me that she was checking Mister Potter after the dementor accident," Pomona murmured back and Elías winced. "Dementors, truly….what was Dumbledore thinking?"

"Dumbledore knows best," Hagrid replied gruffly, sitting back on his too-small chair.

Did he truly, though? Elías didn't dare voice his concerns but he agreed silently with Pomona. Dementors near kids and teenagers, the happiest yet most sensitive people on Earth, was not a good move. Elías didn't want to think about how rusty his patronus was, so he merely took his goblet full of mulled wine and busied himself by clapping for another Slytherin kid. 

The Dementors had already attacked one kid. He only hoped that Professor Lupin would teach the fifth years how to defend themselves. And maybe stock on sugary treats. Ah, maybe Elías should stock on sugary treats as well. For the kids, of course.

"Ah, there they are!" Hagrid grinned as the last kid walked to the Gryffindor table and Potter and a girl walked into the Great Hall. For a moment, Elías felt the ground fall under him, swallowing hard, guilt clogging his throat. Potter looked so small. What was he, twelve? Thirteen? And this kid was supposed to save the entire Wizarding World? "He's grown up so much…" Hagrid said, a bit sniffly, making Elías smile softly, his hand patting the half-giant's arm. "You'll like him, Elías!"

"If he's friends with you, I'm sure I will, Hagrid," the Astronomy professor replied, sending Hagrid his biggest grin just as Headmaster Dumbledore stood, moving towards the podium.

Once again, Elías felt out of his own body as he stared at Dumbledore's back, not his front. To be a teacher, instead of a student.

"Welcome!" Dumbledore began, arms spreading wide, his beard and tunic shimmering under the tenuous candlelight floating around the Great Hall. “Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…"

"Mister Potter fainted in the train," Pomona whispered to Elías, the new professor pursing his lips. "I wonder if the dementors will be kicked off the -"

Dumbledore cleared his throat, making Pomona shush, all eyes on the Headmaster. “As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the Dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business.” 

"Oh, so it wasn't his own choice," Elías murmured, watching Pomona as she seemed a bit ashamed of her presumptions. "Makes sense. The Ministry _is_ much more paranoid than the Headmaster is."

“They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds,” Dumbledore continued, “and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises — or even Invisibility Cloaks. It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the Dementors,” he finished.

"What the hell was the Ministry thinking?" Elías whispered to himself, hands tightly gripping his napkin and, to his own surprise, Lupin finally spoke up - on Hagrid's left.

"They're scared of Black."

Pomona gave a nervous little sound, reaching for her pumpkin juice and Elías looked over at him, his dirty blond hair falling over his green eyes as the werewolf watched his empty plate.

"They should be scared of the consequences of their actions," Elías replied, a bit gruffly. "And act rationally. That's why I pay taxes,” he joked with a bit of a laugh.

"Double taxes, then?" Hagrid asked him, surprising Elías and making him look up. "You live as a muggle, don't you?"

"You do?" Pomona butted in, head leaning closer, making Elías smile, a soft chuckle loosening his tongue.

"Fortunately, no. I only pay the Ministry of Magic. It's agreed with the Muggle authorities. Don't worry, Hagrid, I don't pay double taxes. I do, however, pay with muggle money. So this weekend, you invite on the Three Broomsticks."

Hagrid grinned back at him and Elías returned the gesture, happy to have his only childhood friend back - and to have his childhood nightmare on the other side of the table, well and far away.

“On a happier note,” Dumbledore continued, interrupting his thoughts, “I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year!"

"Oh no," Elías mumbled, looking a bit queasy. "I don't have to make a speech, do I?" which prompted Pomona and Hagrid to start laughing.

"First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," the Headmaster introduced, and Remus Lupin stood to nod at the students, who gave a rather unenthusiastic applause except for three kids at the Gryffindor table - one of them being Harry Potter. Elías had to smile a bit, seeing the trio hollering, rowdy and young. It was cute, especially when Lupin sat down with a small bashful smile.

"As to our second new appointment... Well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs," Elías choked on his drink at the wording, eyes wide. "However, I am delighted to say that his place will be filled by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties.”

At that, the Gryffindor table erupted into a ravenous racket of applause, making Hagrid blush fiercely, his cheeks a ruby red as he smiled brilliantly and watched his hands. Elías found himself clapping just as hard, smiling at him, so happy that others saw his friend for the wonderful man that he was. When Elías glanced at Dumbledore, he saw him beaming as well.

"And last but not least - we all know about Professor Sinistra's wonderful pregnancy and her decision to step down," he began, making some Ravenclaws holler. "Thus, I have found a substitute for her in Professor Fernández! Please, give him a warm welcome!"

Elías stood, shyly waving his hand, and some Slytherins seemed to recognize that he indeed wore green and silver, because they clapped a bit harder than the rest of the Great Hall. Hagrid was the loudest, though, and Elías found himself blushing furiously, sitting down quickly.

"Well, I think that’s everything of importance,” said Dumbledore. “Let the feast begin!”

And on that note, the feast began.

Elías happily served himself a full plate and began to talk to Hagrid, Pomona busy with Flitwick as he inquired about the new Fanged Geraniums she had recently planted. 

“Those kids sure love you, Hagrid,” Elías grinned at him after a healthy sip of his drink, watching the half-giant blush and preen a bit. “Was that Harry Potter?”

“Yes, and his best friends, Ron and Hermione. The three are inseparable,” he explained to the other wizard. “They’re much like you, Elías - coming to visit me, keeping me company. A bit more sparse, but I can’t complain when they’ve filled in a gap so big.”

Elías gave him a sad little frown, swallowing a mouthful of carrots before replying, “I’m sorry I don’t send many owls. You know I don’t have one - perhaps if I could send you some normal mail, or if you had a phone…”

Hagrid just laughed, his huge hand slapping over Elías’ back, making him choke a bit and he heard a laugh to Hagrid’s left. “Don’t you worry, Eli! I’m just glad you’re back here, friend! And now we both get to be on this side of the table!”

“Yeah, it… feels surreal,” he rasped, cleaning the sauce on his chin with the napkin. “Everyone’s treating me already like a colleague when five years ago it was _Mr Fernández, put down that book_! It’s strange, not gonna lie.”

“Ah, but you’ve always been a bookworm, aye? You’ll fit right in!”

“Thanks, Hagrid. I hope so,” Elías replied softly, something akin to hope blossoming between his ribs. If he truly did fit in as a professor… well, it’d be nice. He never did fit in anywhere - wizarding or muggle. Maybe this could be a nice change, even if there was no one close to his age. The closest one was Lupin but Elías had an inkling that he kept to himself.

Conversation stalled as everyone gladly ate the feast spread on the table, but soon Elías was roped into a conversation with Vector and McGonagall, the two asking what he’d been doing before being hired by Dumbledore, which Elías shyly replied with, “Ah… I’ve just been studying.”

“Studying?” Vector repeated, surprised.

“Muggle studies,” he followed up. “I got a college degree - advanced muggle education.”

“Oh, and what did you study?” asked McGonagall, delighted. “Anything related to Astronomy or ah, perhaps the sciences?”

“Music, actually,” Elías revealed, a proud look on his face, making Flitwick jump in his seat and quickly turn to him. “I’ve learned a lot -”

“Good for you, good for you! I knew it! I knew you’d listen to me, boy!” the Charms professor exclaimed with delight, making Elías flush. “I bet you’re excellent now! You should play something for the choir sometime! I’m sure the students would love it!”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Elías let out a wheezy little giggle, rubbing his nose. “I uh, voice didn’t improve much but I know how to fully play guitar and bass now. And actually, piano and some trumpet. Not to a high skill, but I can play it.”

“Delight, delightful!” Flitwick grinned, making Elías realize just how many eyes were on him at the table. “Do you all remember him? The star of my choir!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t - the star, I - I wasn’t even officially in it -” Elías tried to appease, looking at Hagrid for help but the half-giant was of no aid.

“Do you remember that song he used to play? The fun one, with the uh, glitter and gold?”

“Oh, Gods, please, don’t,” Elías bemoaned as Pomona nodded, his eyes drifting to Lupin, who looked mildly amused and slightly interested in the topic. “You’ve all known me since I was eleven, this is not fair. I was a kid, I had no idea what embarrassment was.”

Dumbledore announced right then, as he stood, that it was getting late and that it was best for the students to head to bed, making everyone start to pick themselves up, the prefects and Head Boy and Girl moving towards each table with intent of guidance.

“You were good, Elías, and I bet you’re even better now,” Flitwick tutted, making the Spaniard flush as he was approached by his old professor. “You studied it, right? So you must be good!”

“I studied it because I liked it, not because I was good,” he mumbled to himself, adjusting his malachite necklace over his shirt. Pomona would’ve interrupted had it not been for the three children rushing to Hagrid, almost running Elías over.

“Congratulations, Hagrid!” the girl with the bushy hair, probably Hermione, squealed as the three of them paused in front of the groundskeeper and Elías took it as a sign to leave, walking beside Flitwick, Lupin and Vector.

“I would, though, enjoy you coming by choir practice,” the Head of Ravenclaw spoke up after they left the Great Hall, his eyes and tone earnest as he looked up at Elías. “You were one of the good ones, Professor Fernández.”

“I -” Elías swallowed, hand running through his recently cut hair, looking bashful. “I’ve brought my instruments, so, um… it’d be a waste not to use them, I suppose.”

“That’s a good lad,” Flitwick laughed, hand slapping his side before Elías mumbled a goodnight to everyone and parted from the group to the Astronomy tower. Before he did, though, he glanced at Lupin and found him curiously peering at him, as if trying to decipher him. When their eyes met, though, he flushed with embarrassment and waved at him to make up for being caught, Elías waving back.

Lupin - his eyes... were just very pretty.


	2. From Another Perspective

The next morning was, deliciously enough, a Sunday - which meant that Elías woke up at his own pace, in his next bed, at blue hour. He had immediately gone to bed after dinner and the remnants of sleep made him roll in his bed for a moment - he realized his window faced West. He'd be able to see sunsets but not sunrises. How disappointing. He liked the sunrise better.

With a sigh, he looked at the tall ceiling of his bedchambers and wondered what enchantment Dumbledore had over the Great Hall, and if he could possibly copy it to put the stars on his ceiling. 

He'd had a dream. 

He'd dreamt again of the same thing, the same scene, the back of a haggard, limping man and the young boy he now knew to be Harry Potter. The castle sparkled in the background, imposing figure of stone that still left Elías breathless whenever he witnessed its magnificent visage. And then the man spoke; _"I'll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It'll be nice to do it again as a free man."_

Elías put a pillow over his face, trying not to scream, eyes steadily watering. The worst about these dreams, these visions, were the fact that he could _feel_ the emotions of the moment. In a cave, in a house, under the waters, over the mountains, it didn't matter where these visions took him, he'd always be overwhelmed by the emotion that oozed out of every single second. This was no exception.

Hope poured out of him, mixed with relief, so much relief, and love. It wasn't just the man, it was also Potter. That poor boy. He was _relieved_ and _happy_ and _hopeful_ as he looked at a supposed murderer. Elías could feel his shoulders shake and he desperately wished that once, _just_ this once, he could actually do something for this vision to happen. For this moment to be real.

He rubbed his nose, his eyes, swallowing before sitting up in his bed. He felt like shit already but that was nothing new. If he was quick enough, he could get breakfast before any professors were at the table and he'd go explore whatever had changed in the library. Maybe take a walk around the castle, clear his head, get familiar with Hogwarts once more.

He was pretty sure that he wouldn't encounter anyone on his way to the Great Hall but, surprisingly, the moment he walked out of the tower, a taller figure bumped into his side, quickly reaching to steady Elías before he toppled to the floor.

"Ah! Sorry!" Lupin apologized, eyes wide, bags under his eyes more pronounced than yesterday. 

"It's okay," Elías quickly said, giving him a small, tired smile. "Are you always up this early? It’s barely six."

"Couldn't sleep too well. New bed and all," he chuckled nervously, running a hand through his unruly hair. "Thought I'd get an early breakfast."

"Same as I. Mind if I join you?" The wizard asked, prepared to back off if Lupin wasn't comfortable.

"I…" Lupin seemed to hesitate, watching him for a moment. Today Elías wore a simple black button-up, comfortable boots, his hair still wet from the shower and Lupin seemed to study his body for a moment before focusing on his face. As if Elías was a puzzle he didn't understand - and when you're someone who's been ostracized from society, everyone is a potential threat. Elías understood, and waited patiently before Lupin winced. "I'm...sorry. I'll probably go to the kitchens, I - I just didn't sleep very well a-and -"

"No need to explain," Elías cut in gently, lifting a hand with a small smile. "Sometimes people wanna be alone and there's nothing wrong with that. I'll head to the Great Hall, then. Have a good morning, Professor Lupin."

With that, he waved at the other wizard and leisurely walked away, pretty sure that he'd shocked the werewolf to his core. The Hogwarts staff meant well, Elías was sure, but he also found them a bit overbearing. They were tight-knit group of people who had been working together for years. Elías, Hagrid and Lupin were new - perhaps not Hagrid, but he was an addition to the staff now. Being part of them would take some time, and Elías never liked to push people. Maybe Lupin would appreciate it and open up to his new coworkers.

The Great Hall was almost empty except for a few Ravenclaws and a single Slytherin, every single one of them either reading a book or the newspapers. The Slytherin looked around thirteen or fourteen and he looked up when Elías walked in - he didn't recognize the kid but he was sure he would soon meet everyone as soon as classes began.

As predicted, not a single member of the Hogwarts staff was present, and Elías got to enjoy a quiet, lovely morning, eating an atrocious British breakfast. Right by the end, though, a couple of students began to trickle in and with them, came Elías' nightmare.

"Oh _bugger_ ," he mumbled to himself, sinking into his seat as Severus Snape approached the staff table, his shoulders curling up.

The potions professor seemed to notice him as he was stepping up the podium and immediately, a scowl took over his face, making him swallow hard. Supposedly, over the years, he’d grown some fucking balls to look at the man in the eye but not this morning. Nope.

“I thought sleeping in was your brand, Fernández,” he sneered, moving to the other side of the table to sit the furthest he could from the wizard.

“Maybe you thought so because once more, you’re living in the past,” Elías hummed under his breath, taking a long sip of his pumpkin juice. Thankfully, the potions professor did not notice his comment and he was free to finish up and hastily walk away from the table, from the Great Hall, passing a few students as they watched him curiously.

The morning was his to enjoy, even though he found himself quickly taking the familiar way to the refuge of his childhood - the Hogwarts library.

It hadn’t changed a bit - the smell took over his senses and a wide smile spread across his lips, happily walking from shelf to shelf, searching for new books, new differences to this picture set in front of him. Maybe he could grab a few books and hide on his usual corner, prepare tomorrow’s lesson a bit more, make sure it was all understandable and clear for the First Years -

“Um, excuse me? Professor… Fernández?” a young voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned to his right to see that bushy haired girl, Hermione, friends with Harry Potter. She was a bit shy, embarrassed as she spoke and Elías tried to look open. “I’m sorry but uh… could you pass me those star charts at the top?” she asked.

Ah. A bookworm. Okay, he liked her.

Gently, he went on his tiptoes, huffing as his fingers brushed the charts before Hermione began to quietly laugh to herself, making him flush. With a quick little jump, he finally got the charts, grinning as he passed them to her.

“Here you go,” he smiled, and Pince spoke from her desk, right in front of them.

“You two are _magic users_ ,” she said dryly and Elías felt his face heat with embarrassment, Hermione blinking as if remembering so. Pince seemed amused.

“That’s on being muggleborn, I guess,” he mumbled, giving a quiet little chuckle and almost immediately, Hermione seemed to light up.

“Oh, truly?!”

“Shhh! Miss Granger!” Pince interrupted and the thirteen year old seemed, of all things, annoyed. Elías just rolled his eyes a bit and moved on to the next shelf, noticing the little witch following him. Oh well.

“Yes, I am muggleborn, Miss Granger,” he hummed at her, finding a new book, _Good Gardens Guide 1990_. If he had been better at Herbology, he might have picked it.

“I was under the impression that you were a Slytherin? That’s what everyone was saying,” Hermione replied, making him pause, turning to her with a cocked eyebrow and an amused little smirk. Hermione blinked. “Oh. So you _are_ a Slytherin? But doesn’t Slytherin -”

“Nope,” he interrupted, a bit tired of the years-old question. “There’s plenty of muggleborns in Slytherin, Miss Granger. One of them being me. It’d do you well to ditch house prejudices. I’ve found them quite annoying, as you probably have, too, at some point, given that you’re a Gryffindor and yet you’re at a library at eight in the morning on a Sunday.”

At that, the little bookworm seemed to take slight offense but Elías found it quite adorable. Thirteen year olds often thought that they knew better than adults, that adults took them for granted and that they were being treated like children. It was the age from child to teenager and already he could see the fun he’d have seeing all these kids trying to outsmart every teacher. He remembered being that age, less than ten years ago.

“Gryffindors are not dumb,” Hermione stated, her cheeks red with indignancy.

“And Slytherins are not blood purists,” he replied, calmly, pulling out _Advanced Rune Translation_ , taking a look at it in case it could help with the latest text he’d received from his sister, humming. “So we’re both clear and what we’re not. In any case, Miss Granger, it was wonderful to meet you, but I’m afraid I’ve a few lessons to polish over. I’ll see you on… Tuesday?”

“Monday,” she replied, looking miffed. “I’m in Third Year.”

“Monday it is,” he smiled at her, nodding at the charts. “We’ll start with Aquarius.”

She seemed to light up at the thought of getting ahead and, with that, the Gryffindor scurried off to another section of the library, rummaging through the star charts he’d handed her. Elías, instead, turned to Pince’s desk to check out the runes book, thinking he’d have some time to go through it after he worked on the lessons for Monday.

Once out of the library, he headed towards the stairs, intent on holing himself in his new office on the second floor - infuriatingly far away from the class itself - when he saw a group of Fourth Year Slytherins hollering at a Hufflepuff girl passing by, her nose bleeding, and Elías’ gears kicked into overdrive, walking firmly towards the group, eyes hard.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, not realizing until now that he _did_ have a professor mode. “Is your nose alright, Miss…?”

“Marsh,” she replied nasally, trying to stop the bleeding and he handed her his handkerchief, watching her worriedly. “Raya Marsh.”

“May I ask what happened?” he asked, watching the bruise starting to form over her nose, fearing the worst, eyes finding the Slytherins who looked mildly annoyed. “What happened?”

“I… I ran into a wall,” she flushed with embarrassment, saying so quietly, and the Slytherins all laughed again, making Elías sigh. “I’m sorry. They didn’t do anything. I just -”

“Dawson’s pretty hot, yeah, just admit it!” one of them spoke up, and the brown-haired boy who’d been snickering quietly flushed. “You were watching him!”

“She was not! Oi! Take that back!”

Elías felt relief run through him - teenagers. It was just teenagers being stupid, was all. No bullying, no weird things. Good to know.

“Let me take you to the Hospital Wing and get that checked by Madame Pomfrey, alright, Miss Marsh?” he said softly to her before glaring at the group. “And you three!”

The moment he turned to them, their laughter stopped and they looked mildly terrified, watching their new professor as he sighed.

“You should’ve helped her the moment you saw her bleeding! Is that how you treat everyone around you? Laughing when they’re hurt?” he asked. The three said nothing. “Well?”

“Er… we didn’t really see the blood, Professor,” a blond one replied, the others quickly nodding.

“She still got hurt,” Elías replied. “And you laughed. I thought only eight year olds found that funny. Perhaps you boys would rather go down a year or two?”

“N-no!” they quickly cried out.

“Then take her to the Hospital Wing,” he told them, hard. “Help her out the way you would with anyone in Slytherin. And say sorry for laughing. Now.”

The three boys echoed his words, actually looking embarrassed, and Dawson, the brown-haired boy, stepped forward and offered her a real apology. Marsh flushed, just nodding, and the four students moved off to the Infirmary. Elías wondered if he’d done the right thing, heart in his throat. Should he have deducted points from Slytherin? Was that the right thing to do, when they’d done nothing truly bad of consequence? Had he been too harsh?

“Well, that was surprising.”

Elías let out a squeak of surprise and turned around, hand over his heart, eyes wide as he watched Professor Lupin walk over to him, his gaze kind.

“Sorry,” he apologized, slightly amused. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You keep apologizing,” Elías laughed, running a hand through his messy hair. “It’s - fine, I was just lost in thought. Did I - was that okay? Did I do it right? I’m not so sure I’m good at this authority figure thing,” he confessed, a bit queasy.

“No, no, you did well. Didn’t deduct points, which means the kids think that you’re more focused on them learning that what they did was bad - and you actually told them to help her out. They’ll have a bit more empathy, next time. They certainly won’t forget it now,” he offered, smiling at him, slow and kind. Elías’ heart did _not_ skip a beat. Lupin was just handsome. “You did fine, Professor Fernández.”

“That’s a relief,” he sighed, hand rubbing his jaw. “Damn. Shit. I was scared, I’ll admit.”

“I was sort of - the father figure amongst my friends,” Lupin laughed, the two starting to walk towards the stairs, though the corridor. “So I’m used to imposing some rules.”

“Lucky them, I was unhinged as a teenager,” he confessed, laughing. “Maybe that’s why my sleep schedule is so fucked.”

“Good thing you’re an Astronomy professor and not a History of Magic professor,” Lupin interjected, making Elías laugh. 

“Oh, Gods. I couldn’t. I’m good at History of Magic, I promise, but that is just _so_ much theory. And I’d have to wake up _so_ early,” he groaned, the two professors passing by a group of First Year Ravenclaws, the five of them watching everything with wide eyes. It made Elías smile, especially when they saw the corridor full of windows, rushing to look out of it. “They’re so small,” he whispered, surprised. “Kinda hard to think that we once were like that.”

Lupin said nothing, but his vivid green eyes moved to the eleven year olds, smiling a bit as well, the scars on his face changing shape as he did. He had various small ones, but three big ones - one from the undereye of his right eye, crossing his nose, to the corner of his lips, on the left. The other two were the same angle, as if made by smaller claws. Elías found them strangely appealing - perhaps it was the gentleness of his demeanor, or the color of his eyes, the shape of them. He didn’t look like someone who would hurt others on purpose.

“Did you have a good breakfast?” Elías asked, on impulse, and Lupin startled a bit.

“Ah, yes. I missed the Hogwarts kitchens,” he confessed, starting to step down the stairs beside Elías. The morning light was in full bloom now, illuminating down the tower they were descending. 

“They’ve always been a place of solace for anyone studying too late,” Elías nodded, thinking of the way he huddled in a corner with some hot chocolate in his hands, calming down from a panic attack, the workers at the kitchens letting him be. “I should visit.”

Lupin didn’t reply, and silence took over the two of them as they finally left the stairs and walked out into the courtyard, students sitting in piles, enjoying their very last day before classes began. He saw people in skirts and shorts, drenched in the sun, faces turned up towards the sky. He saw friends, people hugging after months of being away from each other. Elías wished he’d had that, during his years at Hogwarts.

“It’s a good day,” Lupin murmured, eyes scanning the courtyard, a bit lost in time. Elías wondered what he saw, in the past.

Harry Potter walked by them, surrounded by Ron, the red-haired boy, and Hermione Granger, along with two other boys and another ginger. The six of them were laughing, almost rushing through the hall into the grass. They had sweets in their hands, probably leftovers from the Sorting Ceremony and the two professors watched them walk by. 

“I should go finish my lessons,” Lupin spoke up, clearing his throat, and Elías nodded, smiling at him and not pointing out how his office was also on the second floor, close to his. “I will see you around, Professor Fernández.”

“See you around,” Elías replied softly, watching him leave, staying at the bottom of the tower, looking into the courtyard.

And instead of leaving for his own office, he decided to sit by the grass and open his book on runes. It was a good day. No need to waste it.

* * *

“Ah, Elías! We thought you’d gone missing!” Pomona teased as he slid into his seat at dinner, Flitwick chuckling along with her. “You weren’t here for breakfast, nor lunch!”

“I found myself absorbed in a book, I’m sorry,” the younger professor laughed, giving her a small smile. “So sorry. I did eat breakfast, albeit a bit early. Did I miss anything?”

“Nothing worth noticing,” Pomona waved her hand before helping him get a heaping amount of salad. “Here you go! You’re way too thin, boy! You used to be much healthier!”

“I was overweight,” he flushed, rubbing his jaw but thanking her. “But thank you for worrying about my health, Professor S -”

“Oh, just call me Pomona! We’re colleagues now!” she smiled widely and Elías felt his chest expand for a moment, overwhelmed by her kindness, along with Flitwick’s and Hagrid’s.

“Ah, Pomona it is,” he flushed, smiling to himself. “Any ah, morning classes for you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow I’ve Sixth Years first thing in the morning,” she sighed. “They’ll all be so tired and the classes only get more complicated.”

“They’re N.E.W.T. level now, they should expect it,” he comforted her, patting her arm. “I already saw some students in the library, too, so I’m sure a lot of them are taking it seriously.”

“Good to know!” she smiled back at him, nudging him a bit. “So Filius has been busy today putting all the club and extra curricular posters in the Common Room boards,” she began slowly and Elías took a long sip of his wine as he prepared himself for what was coming.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Hagrid spoke from Elías’ left. “He could help with choir!”

“Hagrid!” Elías hissed, eyes denoting betrayal in them, but Flitwick was already speaking with excitement.

“Yes, yes! I wanted to ask! Will you be helping me, Elías?” he smiled brightly and the muggleborn felt the weight of his peers on him, including McGonagall, watching him with an amused little smile. “Just one day! You can come, see the room, how the students are, and then you can no longer come back, I promise.”

“Now you’re making me feel bad,” he chuckled, rubbing the stubble on his cheek. “I… alright. I’ll come to the first meeting. When is it?”

“Next week on Wednesday! At five in the afternoon!” he declared happily, smiling at him radiantly, and Elías couldn’t help but return the gesture, turning back to his food only to find Hagrid grinning like a madman.

“Did you set me up?” he asked Hagrid in a whisper, smirking at the half-giant as he quickly tried to deny it, his eyes dancing with mirth. “You little _sneak_. I might be rubbing off on you, hmm? Little bit of Slytherin in you!”

“I’ll deny it till my dying days,” Hagrid declared before letting out a loud laugh, slapping Elías’ back strongly, almost making the Astronomy professor fall off his chair. A small chuckle came from McGonagall but Elías chose to ignore it, instead being glad for actually feeling included within the staff of Hogwarts. A small, tiny little curl of his lips was all he let them see, though.

Dinner was a lovely affair, truly, and he let himself stay quiet for once and enjoy Pomona talking endlessly about the way she’d prepared the Greenhouses of Hogwarts over the summer. Hagrid oftentimes spoke about the insects and the fauna that would mingle with her flora and Elías found himself between two interesting topics. His eyes, though, strayed towards the Slytherin table from time to time.

The group of three friends were there, having amiable dinner, talking amongst themselves. Fourth Years, before their O.W.L.s, just excited for the coming year. They looked fine, looked like normal fourteen year olds, but at one point Elías noticed that the brown haired boy, Dawson, kept looking at the Hufflepuff table over the Ravenclaws, eyes fixed on, Elías was sure, Miss Marsh. When he glanced at the yellow-peppered table, he sure found her sitting by some boys and girls, talking excitedly, laughing along with her nose free of bruises.

Mr Dawson seemed to sigh until his friends snapped him out of his reverie, and Elías smiled into his goblet. How cute.

“I see Ms Marsh is alright, after all,” Lupin spoke from his spot and Elías looked over at him, grinning, his mood peaking. “I was afraid they were making fun of her.”

“So was I,” he replied, now much calmer about the situation. “Thank you, anyway. For reassuring me before.”

Lupin just nodded, giving him a kind smile before turning his attention back to dinner. Maybe Elías _could_ be a good teacher at Hogwarts. Maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult - though only time would tell.


	3. Firsts

Elías had no lessons in the morning.

It was such a strange thing, lounging in his bed and watching the sun rise without moving like everyone else. He heard voices in the hallway and all he had to do was wait until sunset for his first class. He should probably go to breakfast but he felt way too lazy for it, curling inside his wonderfully soft sheets with a grin, hands running through his hair. He could maybe drop by and watch one of Hagrid’s classes but perhaps that was overstepping.

Elías let out a deep sigh and watched his ceiling, air slowly escaping his lungs.

_ “When all this is over, we’ll be a proper family. You’ll see _ .”

Elías put his pillow over his face and  _ screamed _ , legs kicking before he finally calmed down and flung his sheets away from his body, eyes full of tears. It didn’t matter what he saw, Dumbledore would never help him find Black.

Maybe Lupin -

Gods, _no_. He couldn’t open a wound like that. Who knew how Lupin would react to _actually, I'm a seer and I can see a future where Sirius Black is actually a father figure for Harry Potter. Yes, I'm a muggleborn seer. Yes, I have known this for three summers._ _No, I don't know why Black killed Pettigrew but I sure have seen the way Potter Senior looked at you three when you were younger_.

Elías swallowed, rubbing his face. This was  _ so _ much easier when he didn't know the people he saw. It was so much easier when he could just go to Dumbledore and know that he'd done the right thing, had left it in the hands of more capable people. But now he was an  _ adult _ , and he  _ knew _ Lupin now. He didn't know him well but… maybe that was the problem? He didn't know him enough?

Maybe - maybe if he became friends with him...perhaps then he'd take it better. Easier. He had to keep an eye on Potter as well - who knew what the kid was thinking about Black being out, ready to kill him? A thirteen year old -

Elías felt the edges of anxiety take over him and with a whine, he lifted his hand and found it shaking. Fuck. Okay. Hopefully he wouldn't have this for the rest of the day.

He sat up, wished he could take a shower inside his quarters and simply resigned himself to walking to the nearest staff showers, taking everything he'd need. Greasy-haired, bags under his eyes, wearing his pajamas, he ventured out of his rooms at almost 8 a.m. only to, of fucking course, bump into the one and only Remus Lupin.

It was a sick joke. And okay, alright, now that he thought about it,  _ maybe _ the Astronomy Tower was too close to the DADA office and classroom, and maybe he had been playing with fate when he'd chose those particular stairs that led directly to the bathing rooms but -

"Fuck," he rasped, voice still ladden with sleep, making Lupin pause as the two almost ran into each other when he turned the corner.

The werewolf had a mug of coffee in his hands, a bunch of parchment bunched under his arm, looking much better rested than on Sunday. His hair was still a bit wet and he looked… cute. He was - fuck, why was he so handsome? It was unfair when Elías looked like a troll walking out from under the bridge.

Then, to Elías' horror, the Defense Professor snorted, hand moving over his mouth out of politeness, laughing quietly as Elías gave a groan.

"That's right, laugh at my weakest because you can't handle me at my strongest," he said dramatically, only making him laugh harder, a seed of happiness planted in his lungs at Lupin's expression. "This is utterly unfair. How am I supposed to maintain my perfect, aristocratic Slytherin persona when you've seen me like that?"

"Aristocratic Slytherin persona? I've seen you be embarrassed twice at the staff table," he chuckled grinning at him and Elías flushed. "Sorry, sorry - I'll pretend I've never seen you like this. Would that make it better?"

"And miss this great step in our friendship? What will we tell at the pub, then?" He replied, and Lupin chuckled again, rolling his eyes. 

"Alright, alright - guess you'll have to catch me before my morning shower sometime, then," he walked past Elías with a grin, sending him a smile over his shoulder. "Enjoy your class-less morning!"

Elías laughed, rubbing his greasy face, cheeks dark and embarrassment still running through him. Humor was good to deflect but in the shower he had plenty of time to think about the  _ only _ hot professor seeing him in such a state. He wanted to smash his head against the wall of the shower, instead finishing up cleaning himself and making sure that he looked very much more than decent when he got out of the baths, hair wand-dried and clothes impeccable.

There was no one in the hallways. 

Well, except Mrs Norris, who watched him between narrowed eyes as he made his way to the grounds outside, watching the First Years crowding around the Greenhouses. He wanted to go, to see them, to experience once again Pomona's sweet classes full of chaos but he knew he'd be interrupting her first class, which was too important.

Instead of interrupting classes, Elías ended up in the library once more, picking a random book and starting to read, making sure he had set a magical alarm for lunch. After all, he didn't want to miss it  _ again _ .

As soon as his eyes went to the page, though, he felt dizzy, his eyes unfocusing, and he quickly realized where this was going. He breathed in, slowly, trying to let it pass through him, the way Dumbledore had taught him -

It was a song.

He blinked, confused for a moment, trying to get his bearings back before checking the time. An hour. Not so bad - and he had a new song. Before he could forget it, he stood and put his book back in place, hurrying to his quarters, thinking of the piano keyboard he still had to install, shit - well, maybe magic could help.

* * *

He missed lunch. 

Elías walked through the halls, finding students already getting comfortable - shedding backpacks, coming out of their common rooms without them, getting ready for dinner while Elías hummed to himself that wonderful new song his abilities had given him. He passed by some First Years and a Ravenclaw girl called him, making him pause.

“Professor Fernández!” she called and he turned to her and her friends - one Gryffindor and two Hufflepuffs. “H-hi, sorry, um - we were wondering where exactly was the Astronomy classroom? Our schedules only say the Astronomy  _ tower _ .”

“It’s at the top,” he told them, laughing when horror dawned on their faces. “Oh, yes, the highest peak of the castle. I suggest you guys warm up before class.”

“But it’s on the  _ last floor _ ,” she whispered, horrified. “And we’ve to go at  _ midnight _ ?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” he chuckled, walking to the Great Hall when Vector intercepted him, her eyes on his gait. “Good afternoon!”

“You missed lunch yet again,” she remarked, looking at the throngs of students coming in and out of the Great Hall. “Something the matter, Fernández?”

“I was playing music and when I finished, it was too late for lunch,” he explained, giving her a little smile. “Sorry. I know everyone expects me to be there at every meal.”

“It’s a good way to let us get to know you as a professional and not as a curfew-breaker,” she pointed out. “I’d like to get past the image of you asleep in the library.”

Elías flushed, groaning, “Just because I’m twenty-one, doesn’t mean that you guys are allowed to remind me of all the embarrassing moments of my time at Hogwarts.”

Vector laughed, grinning at him, nudging his side, “Oh, we do it because we’re happy you’re here. I know I don’t just speak for myself when I say that I was quite happy to hear you’d be joining the staff.”

Elías blinked, turning to her, dodging a group of Gryffindors as they rushed out of their table. “O-oh?” he asked, heart jumping. “Truly?”

“I’d say Flitwick is the happiest,” she winked at him before they reached the table, Lupin glancing at the two of them and giving a soft hello. “Hello, Lupin! I hope your first classes were good?”

“I certainly enjoyed them,” he grinned, honest and radiant. “I didn’t know if I’d be suited for it, if I’m honest, but I truly enjoy them.”

“That’s delightful!” Pomona jumped into the conversation and Charity, sitting tonight next to Pomona, taking Elías’ usual seat, nodded along. “At least  _ your  _ first lesson went well.”

That was the moment Elías froze, watching Pomona and Charity with trepidation as he sat on Hagrid’s empty seat.

“What do you mean?” he asked quickly.

“Hagrid had an incident,” Charity said softly. “Mr Malfoy got hurt during his lesson with the hippogriffs.”

“ _ What _ ?” Elías and Lupin both said at the same time, Elías almost jumping in his seat. “Malfoy?” he asked hurriedly. “Son - of Lucius Malfoy?”

“Indeed! Dumbledore and McGonagall are working on keeping Hagrid among the staff,” Pomona sighed. “But Mr Malfoy was screaming profanities in the Infirmary. He only had a scratch, but it was still enough to anger his father.”

“Fucking -  _ damn it _ ,” Elías stood, throwing his napkin back on the chair, rushing out of the Great Hall. He had to talk to Hagrid.

“Professor - Professor Fernández, wait!”

Elías didn’t look back as Pomona called him, his green robes flying behind him as the wind picked up. The sky had gotten greyer but he saw the lights of Hagrid’s hut on. He had to talk to him, get him a nice lawyer, fight Malfoy in whatever court case he opened. He was sure the kid had gotten hurt on an accident -

He knocked on the door of his hut, hurriedly, and when he heard a meek, slurred  _ c’me in _ , he slid inside, closing the rackety door behind him. 

Hagrid was drunk as a skunk.

“Oh, buddy,” Elías sighed, and Hagrid looked up with red, puffy eyes. “Hey - hey, hey  _ hey _ ! It’s gonna be okay, yeah?”

He rushed to push away the tankard of whatever ale he’d filled it with, hand running through Hagrid’s scraggly hair. The half-giant seemed to sob and Elías felt his own heartstrings pull painfully. The younger wizard searched for his handkerchief but found that he’d left it with Miss Marsh, so he grabbed one of Hagrid’s rags and tended to his tears, shushing him.

“It’s okay, Hagrid -”

“One day, just  _ one day _ , I’ve lasted, I bet it’s a record -”

“You’re  _ not _ going to be fired,” Elías said firmly, venom in his voice. “Let Lucius Malfoy fucking  _ try _ , I’ll rip him apart in court. I’ll get you a lawyer, talk to the kid who got hurt, ask the other kids - it’ll be  _ fine _ , Hagrid, I won’t let you be fired. You’ve worked too hard for it.”

Hagrid sobbed louder and Elías let himself be pulled into a bone-crushing hug, his back protesting but - friends were more important. Once he was back on his feet, a knock interrupted them and Elías immediately expected the school governors or anyone from the Ministry.

“Freshen up,” he told Hagrid, putting his bitchiest face on before opening the door, already glaring.

Only to find the golden trio behind it.

“Oh,” his face changed and the tension in the three kids left. “It’s you three. What do you - it’s already dark! What are you doing here?!” he began to chastise them but Hagrid stood, looking over Elías’ head. “Ah -  _ oh _ . You came to check on him.”

“Sorry, Professor - it’ll be real quick! We promise to go back to our rooms as soon as we finish!” Ron, the red head, promised, his eyes wide and pleading. Potter and Granger nodded, trying to endear him. Elías stepped aside. “Thank you -”

“Hey, kids,” Hagrid sniffled, drunkenly smiling at them. “At least I got one lesson with ya…”

“They won’t fire you, Hagrid! We’ve got witnesses!” Hermione began and sure enough, the three of them began uplifting Elías’ only friend, making his heart melt at the sight of these three earnest kids. Elías said nothing, simply watching, his arms crossed and his eyes on Potter, mostly. Hagrid hugged them, Elías catching the elation on his shoulders, and Hermione gently directed him outside once she had spilled on the ground the tankard of alcohol. 

“It’ll be fine, guys. He’ll be okay,” he assured the three, once Hagrid seemed to clear his head. “Nobody will fire Hagrid. Not if I can help it - now let me get you three back to Gryffindor Tower before you get in trouble,” he sighed, giving Hagrid one last reassuring look.

“Thanks,” the groundskeeper whispered to him, eyes fearful.

But Elías wouldn’t let him be fired. He  _ wouldn’t _ .

The kids were silent as he directed them through the grounds, careful of Dementors, his wand at the ready just in case they strayed towards them. He hadn’t done a  _ patronus _ in a while but it was alright, he’d find a happy memory somewhere. Behind him, the three Gryffindors whispered among themselves and Elías felt himself think of that moment with the castle in the background, the Whomping Willow as a little prop. When had that been? October? December? End of the school year? When could he know about this? Could he help -

Gods, what was he  _ thinking _ ? Helping a convict enter Hogwarts? Even if he’d displayed - but what if he  _ was _ wrong and this was just an alternative scenario? What if Black truly was dangerous and wanted to finish off what he’d started -

Fuck. Shit. This was way more complex than he’d thought.

“I better not find you three after dark again,” he spoke to the little trio, looking at them over his shoulder to find them giving him innocent looks. “Do  _ not _ give me that look. I only let you off the hook because you went to Hagrid’s hut in good faith.”

“Are you friends with Hagrid as well?” Harry asked, and Elías nodded slowly, finding the kids now at his sides and not behind him. “He’s never spoken of you.”

“Well, that’s depressing,” Elías mumbled, wand out, performing a quick  _ lumos  _ to lead the way. “I suppose I wasn’t as interesting as any of you, then.”

“I think you’re interesting,” Hermione piped up and Ron repeated her words in a mocking way, making her step on his foot. 

“Ow!”

“Behave,” Elías warned them, slightly amused. 

“Is Hagrid going to be fired?” Harry asked, too serious, ignoring his friends’ shenanigans. 

Elías pursed his lips, glancing at the child, his eyes finding his lightning scar on his dark forehead, between messy curls of jet black hair. He looked a lot like his father.

“No,” Elías replied, just as serious, directing his own eyes back at the hallway, voice quiet. “No, he won’t. I won’t let him be fired. And that is a promise, Mr. Potter.”

Silence took over, and Elías did a quick tempus to see that he only had two hours until his first class, glancing at them three.

“I hope you three are ready for my class,” he said, in a lighter tone. “I’d like not to make a fool of myself. Any recommendations?” Elías smiled a bit, trying to reassure them.

“No homework?” Ron attempted and Elías gave a small chuckle.

“Nice try, but no dice,” he smirked. 

“Don’t  _ try _ to look good,” Harry shrugged, glancing at the new professor. “Just do your class. If it’s fun, it’ll be fun. If it’s not, then it’s alright. It’s just - classes.”

“Wise words,” Elías hummed, finally stopping at the Gryffindor tower and turning to the others. “Well, now you won’t get in trouble. Next time I’ll start deducting points. Go.”

“Thanks, Professor Fernández,” Hermione smiled brightly at him and Elías just nodded at her, walking away from the tower with anxiety trimming at his edges.

* * *

The lesson went well.

It was such a fucking relief to see the kids actually listening to what he had to say - throwing questions, allowing him to impart the lesson, speaking about the similarities of Muggles and Wizards within Astronomy without a single sneer thrown at him. It was Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, Third Years, and a few clambered up to look through the telescope as he listed the different stars in Aquarius and what they’re used for in Astrology.

The constellation was clear in the sky as they looked through the magical lenses of this particular telescope, but Elías found it easier to sit them all down after they looked and make a map of the skies with a wave of his wand.

The students gasped as stars surrounded them, easily being encased in a spell as beautiful as the ceiling enchantment of the Great Hall. It was something that made Elías feel proud - he was good at visual charms, at things one could see and, most of all,  _ hear _ . He let a very, very faint piano noise in the background, part of the song he’d heard today at the library, and told the story of Deucalion, the Greek myth of him. He thought it’d be fitting and engaging as a first lesson - let the stars swish around the teenagers with gentle movements, walked around the classroom to make sure he knew who was watching him and who was entranced by the story.

Hermione Granger watched him, and Neville Longbottom seemed utterly enchanted by the constellation glittering in front of him.

Once the story was over, Elías let the galaxy floating around the classroom vanish into the floor, the lights flickering gently back to life. He sat on the edge of his desk, smiled and asked, “Now, does anyone have any questions about the mythos?”

Several hands raised.

* * *

The Third Years left the Astronomy Tower murmuring among themselves, bidding goodbye to Elías with enthusiasm, although some of them were already yawning hard. Elías didn’t blame them, and he began to disassemble the telescope as he hummed a song to himself. It was then when a knock on the frame of the door alerted him and he looked up to see Lupin, of all people, Elías’ eyes going wide.

“O-oh! Hi!” he smiled a bit shyly, not having expected him at all, pushing his star charts away before moving from behind his desk, leaning into the front, giving Lupin a welcoming look. “Professor Lupin, I wasn’t expecting you?”

“Neither was I, to be honest,” he said, giving a little shrug, eyes running through the class curiously. “I saw a lot of your students getting back to their rooms, saw them happy and excited about your class. I decided coming here to congratulate you was the nicest thing to do, after I caught you a bit indisposed, this morning.”

Elías gave a laugh, loud and boisterous, and he uncrossed his arms and shook his head. “Alright. Alright, well, it went  _ very _ well, for your knowledge, Professor Lupin,” he smirked. “The kids were impressed. And I’m relieved - to the point where maybe I could use a glass of cold white wine and some overly greasy pizza.”

Lupin laughed as well, walking further into the classroom, his steps almost echoing in the comfortable silence that took over, eyes roaming all the trinkets and charts and utensils Elías had decorated with, intelligent eyes taking in every detail. 

“These are muggle,” he murmured, watching the astrolabe that Elías’ father had gifted him, two summers ago. It’d been a present for his birthday and it came straight from a Brussels  _ brocante _ , his favorite in Waterloo. Elías simply smiled as Lupin looked at it in detail. “Is it true, then? That before this job you lived as a muggle?”

“I didn’t live  _ as a muggle _ ,” Elías replied with a bit of distaste. “I lived as I have all my life - my parents are muggles. My sister - she’s not, but we both have muggle homes. She’s in Madrid and I’m in Cadiz. We both studied magic and then pursued further studies - I did music, she did International Relations. My father’s in the military and my mom is an archivist at NATO. That is  _ my _ life. I happen to be a wizard. I also happen to be very much a muggle in a lot of ways. I never knew why muggleborns often reject their muggle side.”

Elías said it with a bit of strength, a bit too much passion, perhaps, but he truly never understood why people cast aside muggles so much when they were… pretty great. CD’s, record players that didn’t require cranking up, computers, videogames, movies and television, cars and so,  _ so _ many other things, other technologies that wizards refused to use. Some of his favorite things were muggle.

“My mother was a muggle,” Lupin spoke up, softly, and Elías looked up at him with surprise. He didn’t expect to see the slight vulnerability in his eyes, nor the tender expression on Lupin’s face as he glanced at the star charts. “Her name was Hope. She was a very religious woman - my father never understood that. She died young so… I never did, either. But he still keeps the uh, religious little trinkets she had? A picture of Mary, and such. A bible - James King edition. And I wear the cross she used to wear,” he dug a hand into his collar and lifted a tiny, golden cross pendant. Elías’ mother had one as well. “I did try to look into muggle things, just to try and connect with her. But - well, my father is a pureblood wizard, through and through. He had no idea about muggles and how they lived. So I… never got to see how muggles live.”

Elías let the silence take over, processing his words, his confession, watching as Lupin seemed to blink and startle when he realized what he’d said.

“Shite. Sorry, that was - a lot -” he began but Elías cut him off.

“No, no, it’s - it’s okay,” he assured quietly. “Sometimes you need to get things like that off your chest,” Elías gave him a kind, small smile. “Connecting with a part of your… heritage, I guess, is important. Muggleborn kids come here and see the magic and get swept up by it. They often forget that muggles build things with their own hands, scraping and bruising themselves. They waste time, some might say - I think muggles sometimes have a better character than wizards. There will always be exceptions, of course - but yeah,” he shrugged a bit, walking closer to Lupin. “Maybe it’s because I never felt welcome among wizards, but I appreciate muggles a lot.”

“Then why come to teach here?” Lupin turned to him, his greens finally meeting Elías’ grey blues. “Why return to Hogwarts?”

Elías winced, looking at the ceiling before giving Lupin a little grimace. “Sorry. That’s - I wish I could tell you, but Dumbledore -”

“Of course,” Lupin nodded, giving a little sigh but also smiling at him. “It’s - well, that’s alright. For all that’s worth… I’m glad I’m not the only new addition to the staff,” he laughed.

“Yeah,” Elías chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling a bit bashful all of a sudden. “I’m glad you’re here, too. You seem - I don’t know.”

_ “Moony, come on! Just let me win this once!” _

Elías swallowed, watching the Defense professor in front of him, feeling a deep, painful type of guilt take over him. He had no right -  _ no right _ in knowing this man’s past as deeply as he did. These moments, they were private, his to share, not Elías’ to know. He desperately wanted to tell him, tell him that he knew of Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew when they were kids. Knew about a boy crawling under the Whomping Willow, about how gangly he looked during Seventh Year, when he’d touched the railing on the Gryffindor Tower and seen a little vision of the four friends.

But - Elías was selfish. So,  _ so _ very selfish, and he wanted a friend in Lupin, who seemed kind and soft spoken and funny. Who was closer to his age than anyone else in the staff. Elías longed for a friend  _ so badly _ .

“You seem nice,” Elías finished, clearing his throat when his voice broke. “Pardon me, I - it’s quite late.”

“Ah, yes, it is,” Lupin supplied, flushing at his own eloquence. Elías smiled a bit. “I’ll leave you be, Professor Fer -”

“Just call me Elías,” the wizard cut in, chuckling. “I think we’re past formalities.”

Lupin paused on his way to the stairs, turning to Elías and nodding, “Very well. Then you may call me Remus.”

“Remus,” Elías spoke, smiling a bit. “Are you Italian, by chance?”

“Partly,” he grinned a bit. “Grandparents from mother’s side.”

“Remus was one of the sons of the  _ Lupa Capitolina _ ,” Elías pointed out, chuckling. “What a fitting name, then, son of the mother wolf.”

_ Remus  _ just laughed, the sound carrying over even as he walked down the Astronomy Tower, and Elías realized after a few minutes that he’d just stayed there, watching the doorway with a stupid smile on his face, arms crossed and heart pumping loudly in his ears.


	4. A Window to the Past

“Mr Malfoy,” Elías called during lunch in the Great Hall, making the platinum blond freeze on his seat, his friends all turning to look at the professor. 

Malfoy turned the last, his grey eyes on Elías, calculating and insolent. Oh, no. He was one of  _ those _ Slytherins. Very well, Elías could work with that.

“I heard about the incident during Care of Magical Creatures,” he began, sliding next to him, a few students on the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table watching. “Are you alright?”

“I…” he seemed a bit knocked out, not expecting him. The first Astronomy class had been that very early morning, and he’d seemed to enjoy himself. Elías had thought it important to make sure he did. “I’ll be alright, Professor Fernández.”

“Good to know,” he smiled at him. “These type of accidents can be quite scary. Creatures like hypogriffs require gentle handling and good knowledge.”

“Quite dangerous for a lesson, if you ask me,” he said, smirking at his friends, and Elías nodded slowly.

“Yes, perhaps he should’ve started with First Year creatures,” he replied, completely serious, a few students giggling as Malfoy blinked. “If you can’t handle a little swipe like that… Hagrid should’ve used bowtruckles - do you know those? They’re little stick beasts. Much easier to handle -”

“I can handle anything,” Malfoy cut in, bothered as the other students began to eye his bandaged arm differently, giggling to themselves. “And that deformed chicken was  _ nothing _ . It was just - crazy and wild. That Hagrid should’ve domesticated it better.”

“Ah! Good to know it was just an isolated incident, then!” Elías grinned. “I’m sure your father will be very happy to know that his son is safe - and I’ll suggest the bowtruckles as well, Mr Malfoy. Those won’t be able to harm you.”

A Slytherin Sixth Year began to laugh into his friend’s shoulder and Malfoy seemed unable to handle his posse as they began to see how he’d exaggerated the wound - especially when Malfoy grabbed the bandages and ripped them off hastily, face burning with embarrassment. Elías would feel bad if that child hadn’t tried to fire his friend after  _ offending a hippogriff _ \- so he sat on Hagrid’s seat, filled his goblet and smirked to himself. Hopefully Lucius Malfoy would hear from his son how he wanted to not make a big deal out of it.

“Oh, so  _ that’s _ why you’re in Slytherin,” Remus Lupin chuckled on his left, making Elías look over at him from over the rim of his goblet. “That was - how did you get him there?”

“They’re purebloods,” Elías explained easily after swallowing, tapping the side of his nose. “Their social status is  _ everything _ . Including the children. Hopefully Mr Malfoy will learn as he grows and finds himself distanced from such thinking - but the kid is an ass. A lesson in humility will do him good, as well as Hagrid good.”

“You had me fooled,” Remus chuckled. “All those niceties and smiles, the books and how well you get along with Flitwick - almost mistaken for a Ravenclaw.”

“Wearing all this green?” Elías laughed. “Oh,  _ please _ .”

“Honestly! You’re always headed to the library!”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Elías rolled his eyes at him. “You do  _ not _ act like a Gryffindor.”

“That’s because you haven’t caught me yet,” Remus grinned at him, wide and mischievous and McGonagall made a huffing sound to Elías’ right.

“Do  _ not _ remind me of your teenage pranks, Mr Lupin!” she cried out to his end of the table, making Elías smirk deeply as Remus laughed into his hand. “Stink bombs, Slytherins hung by their ankles, the Ravenclaws walking in with green skin - don’t remind me of that one! I know it was you who made that potion!”

“That was years ago, you can’t prove anything,” Remus replied, drinking as he looked away.

“ _ There’s  _ the Gryffindor,” Elías laughed, so surprised that he was talking so much. Perhaps the previous night conversation had loosened his tongue. In any case, Elías was glad to see this friendship blossom, his spirits lifted, especially when Potter and his friends entered the Great Hall and Malfoy didn’t faint mockingly in his seat. 

“Well, I better check with Severus,” Remus sighed as he quickly finished his meal. “I’ve got a boggart to place in my class.”

“Oh! A boggart?!” Elías gasped, standing quickly, eyes glittering. “Let me help you!”

Remus looked at him with delighted surprise in his eyes, “Curious?”

“Abso _ lutely _ . I’ve never seen one! Let me!” he finished off his lunch and waved his hand at Remus. “Lead the way!”

Elías waved goodbye at the rest of the staff, following Remus with much enthusiasm, his mind trying to figure out what his greatest fear was in physical form.

“Truly, you’ve  _ never _ seen a boggart?” Remus asked him, voice incredulous, as the two walked out of the Great Hall towards the main stairs, passing groups of students. “They’re quite easy to encounter, especially in dark, small spaces."

“I have  _ never _ seen a boggart,” Elías grinned. “I know it’s a shape-shifter. I know it’s like, never been seen without the form of a fear? And we don’t really know what it looks like? And I know it’s supposed to turn into what  _ you _ fear the most - thing is, if your fear is like, a feeling or something that isn’t tangible, what the fuck does it do?”

“Elías!” Remus called, laughing as a few students turned at them at the curse word.

“What?! It’s a valid thought!” the Spaniard threw his hands up. “Like, what’s it gonna turn into for me? Taxes on the floor? That’s not very scary!”

“You’re afraid of taxes?” Remus laughed.

“I’m twenty-one, I’m allowed to,” Elías snickered, Remus suddenly pausing, eyes wide. “What?  _ Is  _ it going to turn into taxes?”

“You’re twenty-one?” he asked, turning to him with different eyes. “You’re  _ so _ young. What - what are you doing teaching here?”

“You said it. Teaching,” Elías frowned. “And I’m - I’m not  _ that  _ young. I’m a fully grown adult. Not my fault that everyone’s so fucking old here.”

“You’ve the mouth of a sailor,” Remus told him, a bit sternly, and Elías rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t curse in front of the kids - much,” he mumbled. “Look, I just want to know what the boggart is gonna do when it’s in front of me. Call it natural curiosity.”

“You are way too excited to face your fears,” Remus told him, looking mildly amused as they climbed the stairs. “Don’t you have physical ones? Spiders, snakes?”

“Spiders are kinda icky but snakes are  _ cute. _ I’d love to have a pet snake,” Elías said, looking at Remus as if he was an idiot. “Whoever thinks snakes are scary has, very obviously, never seen a snake in their life. They’re noodles - cute little noodles.”

“Noodles that can crush and bite you,” Remus pointed out.

“So can dogs, and yet we have plenty of dogs around,” Elías huffed. “Noodlephobe.”

“I’m sorry?” Remus laughed, turning to him.

“I said what I said,” Elías laughed back, passing him on the stairs before stopping in front of his office. “Maybe that’s what appears when you’re in front of a boggart. Just a cute little noodle.”

“Not quite,” he winced.

Elías glanced over at him as he opened his classroom with a wave of his wand, entering it, and in the middle Elías found an old, mirrored wardrobe, blinking as it rattled violently. Almost immediately, he took his wand out, the dark wood pointed at the floor for now.

“At ease,” Remus chuckled, watching his wand before waving his to close the curtains of the classroom, lighting the room by candles. “So you want to know what your boggart is. Do you know how to defeat it?”

Elías paused, biting his lower lip, racking his brain for the answer.

“You - make yourself stop being afraid. I forgot the spell for it, though,” he confessed with a little grin, making Remus chuckle, approaching the other professor.

“That’s alright,” he replied, hands behind his back, apparently now getting into teaching mode. “ _ Riddikulus _ ,” he pronounced slowly, letting every syllable be heard.

“ _ Riddikulus _ ,” Elías repeated, his latin stranger than his English, Spanish accent seeping through. “Okay. I have to picture it doing something ridiculous, then, right?”

“Exactly,” Remus nodded. “Whatever it is - since you’ve no idea what shape it’ll take - try and be ready for it. Remember that it is a  _ boggart _ , not the real thing. This creature feeds off your fear, but it’s only a parlor trick. It’s mostly harmless - physically.”

“Alright,” Elías murmured, suddenly nervous, swallowing hard. “If… if I freeze -”

“I’ll be behind you,” Remus nodded, hand waving at the wardrobe. “You ready?”

“I -”

What shape would it take? His family, lying dead? The inescapable feeling of never belonging, no matter where he settled down? The fact that he felt like he’d be alone for the rest of his life, friendless and loverless? Perhaps the students finding out that he had been born in a different way than what he was now and not accepting that at all, bringing angry wizarding parents to stop the traumatization of their k -

“ _ Alohomora _ ,” Remus whispers, swishing his wand and the wardrobe opened.

And stumbling out of the wardrobe came himself.

Remus behind him made a noise of surprise and Elías was left staring at himself, five years ago, sixteen - overweight, angry,  _ furious _ , eyes wild as he watched Elías the way he’d looked into a mirror. The boggart’s hands shook, eyes crazed, and Elías realized with horror that this reflection wore no binder, had no - changes - he didn’t -

“Remember the spell,” Remus told him but Elías’ hands were sweating, self-hatred building, letting the other professor see this deformed, awful version of himself stumbling towards them, bat dragging behind his hand, raising it to smash into Elías’ face when he finally managed to raise his wand.

“ _ R-Riddikulus _ !” he stuttered, voice cracking, and his mirror made a loud  _ crack! _ and found itself melting into a whiny blob on the floor, bat shattering on the stone. “Oh,  _ Gods _ .”

Remus quickly moved in front of Elías, waving his wand to trap the boggart back into the wardrobe, turning to his colleague, hands on his shoulders.

“Elías, that was a  _ boggart _ ,” he told him, repeated it, and the stupid, young wizard pathetically let out a sob. “It was a silly little creature, that wasn’t  _ you _ .”

“But it  _ was _ me,” Elías breathed, on the verge of a panic attack, hand gripping Remus’ arm. “Fuck. Shit.  _ Shit _ . That was  _ me  _ -”

“That did  _ not _ look like - alright, hold on, hold onto me, sit down - that’s it, come on.”

The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor let him fall into one of the chairs of his classroom, pushed against the wall, and Elías felt a bit faint, hand pressed to his forehead, feeling feverish.

“I shouldn’t have let you do that, that was stupid,” Remus said, a bit harshly, pulling out a little chocolate treat from his pocket but the sight of it made Elías nauseous, shaking his head. “You need -”

“I will  _ throw up _ ,” he promised, hand slapping over his throat as his voice cracked again, why was it  _ cracking _ ?! “Fuck. Fuck!”

“That was a boggart, Elías. Calm down,” Remus kneeled in front of him. “Wasn’t even you, that was a woman -”

“Not a fucking woman,” Elías laughed hysterically, hand running through his hair before he quickly pressed his lips together, eyes wide, watching the other man. “Shit.”

“Oh,” Remus replied, eloquently, realization dawning on his face, freezing. “Oh shit.”

“I - look, everyone on the staff knows,” Elías hurried to say, throat tight. “They  _ saw _ me transition. If you want to say shit to Dumbledore, he already knows, and everyone will defend that I  _ am _ a man, because that’s what I am -”

“I’m not denying it,” Remus cut in, gently, voice soft as he looked at Elías. “Not at all. I was merely surprised. I’ve never met a… transexual.”

Elías groaned, rubbing his face. “Hate that word. Ugh.”

“Sorry,” Remus quickly apologized. “Is there any other -”

“Just say I’m trans? Not  _ a _ trans?” Elías whispered, eyes shiny, looking directly at Remus. “Please? I - I’m just like you, okay? Exactly like you. Just - took me longer to get here.”

“Maybe you’re more of a man than me, then,” Remus offered, giving him a small smile and Elías managed not to completely dissolve into sobs, simply letting out a wounded noise as he rubbed his face. “Hey, I - I should’ve stopped that. I really should have and -”

“Oh, come on, I’m an adult here. I wanted to. I was the idiot,” he sighed, rubbing his nose. “Trust me, it’s not your fault. You made it as safe as could be.”

“Still, I…” Remus pursed his lips. “Let me at least take you to your rooms? Please. It’s the least I can do.”

Elías sighed, hand rubbing at his stubble, feeling his shoulders unwind as he realized it was still there, he still presented fully masculine, nobody could misgender him now. Nobody. And Remus had understood, had been nice to him about it. That was one less burden.

“....okay,” he gave in, nodding, accepting the help that Remus lended him once he stood up to help him to his feet. “For the record - boggarts fucking  _ suck _ .”

At that, Remus let out a little chortle, nodding at him, watching Elías get up on wobbly feet before he found his footing. Still, he watched him carefully and Elías let him, if only to make him feel better - even though it was his own fault for thinking himself invincible from a mental attack from a fucking boggart. What an  _ idiot _ . Now Remus knew -

Now Remus knew something extremely personal of his.

The realization hit him much, much different. Remus had something over him, and it didn’t feel bad because  _ Elías  _ knew very personal things from him. This suddenly took away an Earth sized burden from his shoulders and he almost toppled to the floor, Remus quickly catching his elbow, pulling him up. He wasn’t very strong but Elías was sufficiently well.

“You should rest,” Remus sighed. “That was draining. Get some sugar and water in you.”

“I’ll be fine after a quick nap,” Elías replied, sending him a soft smile. “Thank you, though, Remus. I’m sorry about all of this - I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than to take care of me before your class.”

“It’s alright,” the werewolf replied, giving him back another small smile. “I - actually, I’m beginning to think of you as a friend. So I don’t mind you bothering me before classes that much.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Elías laughed, glad to see the Astronomy Tower in view, the two walking to the stairs just a single floor up. 

Once they both reached his quarters, Elías opened the door and threw himself to the couch, groaning a bit. His energy was utterly  _ drained _ from him, and a nap would actually do him good. Maybe some green tea as well. With lemon. And mint.

“You’ve… got a lot of instruments,” Remus noted, surprised, glancing around his lounging area where the piano, bass, guitar and ukulele sat. There were a few amps and his recording set-up. “This is a  _ lot _ of technology,” he whispered, wide-eyed, walking towards his station without thought and Elías looked up with a little smile. “Wow. What’s all this?”

“For recording,” he sat up on the couch, watching Remus poking and looking at his instruments. “Recording music.”

“You play often, then?” he asked. “How  _ many _ instruments do you play?”

“Basic knowledge? A lot. Deep knowledge? Mostly the guitar and piano. Those two got me through college,” he yawned, standing to show Remus his keyboard, turning it on. “This is a piano - well, a keyboard piano. Muggles managed to make it a synth and all that into one instrument. I can play the organ with this.”

“You’re  _ joking _ ,” Remus replied, gaping, hand moving to touch a key only to jump when it played, laughing. “Wow!”

“Yeah, I’ll show you sometime,” Elías laughed. “Now you’ve a class to teach.”

“Shite! My class!” Remus gasped, rushing towards the door before quickly pausing. “Will you be alright? Maybe I should’ve taken you to Madame Pomfr -”

“Go to your class! I’ll be fine after a nap! Go!” Elías laughed, shooing him, getting one last smile from the professor before Remus shut the door behind him, leaving Elías a bit more flustered than he thought he’d be, cheeks flushed.

In any case, a nap was in order.

* * *

Defense Against the Dark Arts became sort of a hot topic around the castle, in the following three weeks.

The kids apparently  _ loved it _ , soon becoming the favorite class for almost everyone. Remus became the favorite teacher as well, getting greetings from the kids every time at lunch and dinner, having some students ask him about classes and even the Seventh Year students respected and loved him.

And who couldn’t? Remus Lupin was a friendly, funny, gentle man. He sat beside Hagrid and Elías during meals, actually gave some jokes, opened up slowly to the other professors, although it seemed not as much as with Elías, who ended up bothering him more often than not about all the creatures he brought about.

Red caps, kappas, whichever it was, Elías was always poking his nose into his classroom before the lesson, blinking against the glass most of the time, asking him for all sorts of information on them. Most of the time, he knew the basics, so Remus had learned to infodump on the tiniest details that he knew. 

Also, Elías’ Sight seemed to be focused more on Black than Remus, which was still an issue, what with all of it being about - Black with Harry, or with Potter in his youth, or with Pettigrew or Lupin or a red head woman, a man named Frank and his girlfriend Alice, who looked so familiar to Elías. 

But nothing personal of Remus. Which was good. No, no, Elías didn’t have a problem with his Sight. On the other hand, he had a different sort of problem.

“Again?” Pomona chortled from her armchair in the staff room, dropping some honey onto her tea as Elías walked into the room. “Dearie, this is the third time this week!”

“It’s the  _ Ravenclaws _ , Fifth Year, no doubt,” he mumbled, dropping the box of chocolates on the coffee table for everyone to enjoy during the meeting. McGonagall reached for her wand first, testing for any potions within it. “They’ve been giggling during my classes, I had to call their attention quite a couple times.”

“You’re quite handsome, lad, it’s normal for them to develop little crushes,” she giggled, kicked her feet. She loved all of this and it only embarrassed Elías further, cheeks a fierce red.

“I’m  _ young _ , is all. You all are dinosaurs,” he teased, nudging Flitwick as he passed by, the man laughing loudly. 

“No, no, I think it’s you, laddie,” he replied and Elías groaned, dropping on the couch beside Remus.

“What about you?” he asked Remus. “Haven’t you gotten - any of this?”

“None,” he smiled at him over his book, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “You’re the only one facing this.”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll blow off after some time,” he sighed, rubbing his nose. “Are we all here?”

“Severus is missing,” Charity interjected. “And Binns but - oh, he never does show up, does he?”

“I’m here,” Snape announced as he walked the threshold, mouth downturned in an unattractive scowl, watching McGonagall with distaste. “I’ve detention to look over, so this better be quick.”

“I won’t interrupt you much,” Minerva sighed, giving Snape a warning look. “The Ministry is going to change the positioning of the Dementors in the grounds, which means that during the night they’ll be much closer, I’m afraid. So Headmaster Dumbledore has let us know that from now on, we have to go in pairs when patrolling the hallways at night.”

“In pairs?” Snape sneered. “That’s absurd -”

“Perhaps,” McGonagall cut in. “But they’re his orders. And we abide. So tonight, Remus, I’m afraid you’ll have to stay up late as well. I’m sorry.”

“We go together!” Pomona smiled at him and Remus simply nodded at her.

“When’s the next full moon?” Snape suddenly asked, and Elías realized that he had absolutely  _ forgotten about that. _

“It’s the 30th,” Remus replied, softly, not wanting to start the fight that Snape was goading him into. Elías was ready to fight, though, seeing the potioneer sneering at his friend. “It’s all under control.”

“Is it?” Snape demanded.

“As long as you have my wolfsbane, it’ll be alright,” Remus nodded, but Elías noticed how he gripped his book tighter to stop the shaking of his hands.

Snape opened his mouth again, surely to let out another deprecating issue he could throw at Remus but Elías leaned over and grabbed a chocolate from the box, offering it to him, making silence fall on the room as everyone kind of stared at Elías.

“What,” Snape snapped as he looked at Elías.

“Here, have something sweet,” the Spaniard smiled venomously at him. “Maybe it’ll cut through your bitter as -”

“Meeting over!” McGonagall cried out, giving Elías a dangerous look but the Astronomy professor just  _ glared _ deeply at Snape as the bat left, trying not to throw an insult his way. When he turned to Remus, he found him actually chuckling.

“What?” he asked, confused. “What’s so amusing?”

“Every time I’ve seen you near him, you cowered a bit - like a student. I’m just glad that you no longer fear him,” he said quietly, putting his book down on his lap. “Thank you for er… I suppose defending me wasn’t it. Whatever it was,” he chuckled.

“He’s so  _ bitter and nasty _ ,” Elías spluttered out, finally able to say it since the staff room was empty now. “What an  _ asshole _ . He hasn’t changed a bit since I was a student.”

“It’s still so strange to think he’s a professor,” Remus hummed. “We went to Hogwarts together. We were in the same year.”

Elías paused, surprised, watching Remus before suddenly he began to understand the deep glares Snape reserved for him, the way he seemed to become so  _ nasty _ whenever the werewolf was around. They had been classmates - Gryffindor and Slytherin. But it seemed so personal -

“My best friend was in love with the girl he ah, loved,” Remus explained, putting the book on the coffee table and Elías felt it all click into place before he gave a loud, obnoxious sound of  _ exhaustion _ .

“No.  _ Nooooo _ ,” he whispered, wincing. “Oh, please don’t tell me. Please, don’t tell me he blamed her for it -”

“He called her a -” he paused, watching him. “A slur. A very nasty thing -”

“A mudblood,” Elías cut in, pursing his lips. “He called her a mudblood. You can say it in front of me, it’s - fine. It means nothing to me.”

“He called her a mudblood in front of our entire year,” Remus sighed, rubbing his cheek, looking uncomfortable as he said the word, murmuring it. “It was - disgusting. They were best friends and from then on, she wanted nothing to do with him.”

“What the  _ fuck _ . Oh my Gods, I hate him - I  _ hate _ him. How can -  _ oh my Gods _ ,” Elías rubbed his face and made a noise of frustration. “What the fuck!”

“To be honest, and completely transparent,” Remus said softly, guilt passing over his face. “My friends and I… well, not me but - I was an enabler. We used to… make fun of him and we - well, sometimes -”

“You bullied him,” Elías cut in, frowning at Remus. “You bullied him - alright. Alright, yeah, that guarantees that attitude in adulthood but - shit, I feel  _ no _ sympathy for someone who shouts slurs at their supposed  _ best friend _ .”

“They knew each other from even before Hogwarts,” Remus pointed out, reaching for one of the sweets in the box and popping it into his mouth, getting comfortable on the couch - good thing it was Friday, and they both had all the time in the world until the night rounds. “Apparently, they lived in the same town. In any case, Lily wanted nothing to do with him after that. She was - devastated by it.”

“And your friend was in love with her,” Elías nodded, then winced. “Was  _ he _ at least nice to her?”

“Not at first,” Remus laughed, and loudly, uninhibited, making it impossible not to laugh along. “Merlin, he was a right prick. Pull on her pigtails kind of boy, you know? He’d pull on her hair and she’d turn around and smack him so hard he’d be seeing stars. Then wake up and swear he was in love with her and only her. Strangest thing I ever saw.”

“Sound like a typical dumb teen boy if you ask me,” Elías laughed, shaking his head.

“She put him in his place,” Remus smirked.

“Good for her,” Elías cocked an eyebrow. “Did he ever get the hint?”

“To scram? Oh, he did - Fifth Year,” he frowned a bit. “My group of friends was a bit - shredded that year. I had a fall out with one of my best friends. We never quite…” he sighed. “We never quite recovered from that. But James - changed. He actually perf -”

“Wait, James?” Elías blinked, processing. “You mean James Potter?”

Remus nodded, his smile not reaching his eyes. “Yeah.”

“James and Lily Potter,” the Spaniard said quietly. “Oh. Okay, I - I see now.”

“Sorry, it’s just - they were my… my friends,” Remus murmured, just as quiet. “Not just some war heroes. Just because their name is on a statue and people know the name of Harry Potter… it doesn’t make it any less painful. They were my friends through school, through thick and thin. My first friends,” he swallowed, looking down at his lap. “Peter, James, Lily… Frank and Alice, Benjy, Dorcas, Marlene… I went to Hogwarts with them. And they all -”

Elías watched Remus, heart sinking, his hand rushing to grab his friend’s wrist, gently squeezing to show companionship. Remus looked up, a bit startled, but he didn’t pull away, shoulders lowering a bit from their hunched position. 

“For all that’s worth,” Elías told him. “I’m sorry, Remus.”

“Me too,” he replied, sighing deeply. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sure you didn’t mean -”

“Don’t,” Elías squeezed again, gently moving his hand away after that, not wanting to overwhelm him or crowd him as he sat back against the armrest of the couch. “It’s alright. You can keep talking about them.”

Remus hesitated, biting the side of his lip before he sighed, nodding, a small smile clambering up his face before he picked the box of chocolates with a playful glare at Elías, as if daring him to comment on it. Elías just giggled, hand moving to grab one treat, popping it into his mouth, watching Remus.

“Sirius Black and I had a rift in Fifth Year,” Remus began to explain. “Peter and James - they didn’t know how to handle it. Sirius had breached my trust and, well, it led to Snape discovering about… me,” he sighed, rubbing his jaw. “It was a shite time for me, as a teenager. Especially because that moment changed James? He - he basically saved Snape’s life. And realized that he’d been bullying him and - well, he apologized. Snape never accepted it, and he never accepted any olive branch that James would throw at him. He was in his right, though, and James recognized that. He stopped bothering Lily so much, took school a bit more seriously. We grew really close that year,” he gave a small chuckle at that. “And I think - I -”

He made a face, cheeks darkening, glancing at Elías before he rolled his eyes, “Ah, fuck it. You told me you’re a t - that you’re trans. So I guess, you can… know that I’m -”

“Gay?” Elías finished, grinning at Remus as he buried his face in his hands. “It’s okay! It’s alright - seriously, I’m bisexual, Remus, it’s  _ fine _ .”

“Ah - what?” Remus looked up, surprised. “You’re - Sirius was - well, I guess he is -” he frowned, seeming to remember where Sirius was, what his current situation was. “Sorry. I didn’t man to compare you to -”

“It’s okay,” Elías cut in, nudging him. “So. You were a closeted, gay, werewolf teenager during Fifth Year and you and your best friend were not doing too great.”

“When you say it like that, it sounds a bit ridiculous,” Remus laughed and Elías took a chocolate and bit into it, shrugging with a smile. “I suppose I’m a bit ridiculous.”

“That’s okay, though,” Elías grinned. “You’re allowed to be ridiculous as a teenager. And as a kid. And as an adult and as an elder. You’re allowed to be ridiculous and nonsensical and a little bit stereotypical. It’s valid. And real. And a lot of times we forget that we can do embarrassing things,  _ be _ embarrassing.”

“Will that excuse let me make fun of you actually taking naps like a stereotypical spaniard?” he laughed.

“I teach  _ Astronomy _ ! I’m allowed to!” Elías kicked at his knee, laughing hard. “Go on! Go on! What happened next with Lily?”

“Well, James was prefect - he was chosen the next year, so you know, they began to spend more time together. And more time together. And more and more. I - well, Sirius apologized to me, and I accepted it. But our friendship was never the same. It was me who… didn’t feel like it could be the same. But I was heartbroken.”

Elías felt a lurch in his body and he looked at Remus, sadness overwhelming him.

“You loved him,” he whispered.

“I think I did, yes,” Remus breathed in sharply. “Some part of me wants to deny it - him being… a traitor and a murderer. Especially lately. But I just… can’t.”

“Betrayals are hard pills to swallow. Sometimes we choke on them and have to choose to do it later, when everything isn’t so… inflamed and recent,” Elías offered, hand patting Remus’ knee. 

“Yeah, uh - in any case -” Remus cleared his throat, picking another chocolate. “I think James realized how he’d been. And wanted to change it. He did tell me that he knew he would never get Lily, that he thought it had been stupid to try and annoy her into noticing him. Told me he was just glad to be in her life, that he didn’t want to become a Snape?”

“He was a good man,” Elías smiled softly.

“He was,” Remus whispered, hand covering his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. “Merlin, but he was. Lily fell in love with him, seeing it. And once they were together, they were inseparable. We - the four of us weren’t as tight-knit anymore. For a while, it was James and Sirius. And Peter and Remus. Or Remus and James. And Peter and Sirius. It was never… the four of us again.”

“Sounds - painful,” Elías supplied, wincing.

“It was his fault,” Remus sighed, eyes glittering as he dared to move his hand away, but he watched the windows instead of Elías. “I wasn’t angry at him anymore. I was just bitter that things had changed and they couldn’t go back to what they were. We pretended they were but… war was imminent. Sirius ran from home. And then we were out of Hogwarts and I couldn’t find a job. And we joined forces to ah, try and stop You-Know-Who.”

“The Order of the Phoenix,” Elías murmured. “I know it.”

“We were there, along with many of our friends,” Remus nodded. “Marlene was killed shortly after Dorcas. Sirius was with her at the time, I remember - or they had a fling, I think. Right after that, he received a letter about his brother - he’d died. As a Deatheater. Sirius got… reckless, then. His missions didn’t end too well. James and Lily got married, had Harry and… he seemed to almost straighten up at that.”

Remus watched the windows, eyes on the glass but Elías could see him far away.

“We were all together, for one single Christmas. Harry was barely six months old,” he laughed. “Sirius was  _ utterly _ in love with him. And Peter panicked when he held him. We had this big dinner that Lily made, her parents came by, and her sister too. It was…”

Elías saw the first tear escape from him but he did nothing, not wanting to break the moment, breath tight in his lungs.

“I think that was the last Christmas I ever had,” he choked out.

Fuck,  _ fuck _ , what could Elías do?

“They died, the next year,” Remus sighed, leaning back, hand quickly wiping away the traitorous moisture in his face. “Sirius turned to the dark side, told You-Know-Who their location and on his way, killed Peter and twenty muggles. There was no trial - Sirius kept saying that he’d killed them, over and over again.”

Elías was going to  _ throw up _ . None of that made sense. None of it. There was something  _ wrong _ about this whole thing -  _ “We’ll be a family again” -  _ no, no,  _ no _ . There was something  _ missing _ .

“And you?” Elías croaked. “What about you?”

“Well, I’m currently here,” Remus laughed bitterly, finally turning to watch the other professor. “Surviving, mostly. Trying to.”

Elías pressed his hand against his mouth, laughing a bit, trying not to cry, his empathy pushing through and this wasn’t about him, this had never been about Elías, he couldn’t  _ cry _ and pretend Remus give him comfort. It was what he’d do. Because he knew Remus a little by now, and he worried so much. And he cared so much. And he was kind, and attentive, and selfless, and a good professor and a good man who’d had terrible things happen to him.

“Sorry,” Remus reached over and patted Elías’ knee. “You’re crying too.”

“Because  _ you _ are,” Elías quickly rubbed his face. “I’m sorry, it’s not about me. It was just -” he swallowed. “Sad to hear. Have you talked to Harry Potter about this?”

“I couldn’t,” he quickly shook his head looking horrified. “That poor boy’s never met his parents - he did but… doesn’t remember, probably. He was one year old. How do you cope with that? People walking to you and telling you about the people you so desperately wish you’d met? People looking at you and only seeing the ghost of a friend? It’d kill me inside,” he whispered.

Elías nodded, sighing, “Makes sense,” he whispered. “Still… I’m glad you told me?” he tapped Remus’ knee. “I’m glad you were comfortable enough with me to share something so personal, Remus. I’m glad you… you were able to get all of these thoughts out. I just hope it was cathartic and that - that you can sleep a little better tonight because of it.”

Remus choked a bit, laughing brokenly, sniffling hard before covering his eyes again, letting out a weak little, “Thank you.”

Elías didn’t know when, but rain had begun to fall and the sound of it seemed to soothe the emotions in the staff room, his hand slowly moving to grip Remus’ knee, trying to ground him as he quietly cried for a moment. The Spaniard watched him, gently trying to coax him back into a stable condition, finally calming him down enough to stop and take deep breaths. A few pieces of chocolate later, Remus looked up at him, eyes red and puffy, and Elías gave him a small smile, bright and genuine.

“Hey, look at that,” he teased, lighthearted and soft. “You ate all the chocolate. Now I know who to give it to when I get those pesky Ravenclaws at my office.”

Remus laughed, voice raspy, shaking his head at the utter stupidity of it.

“Stop,” he chuckled, pushing the box back to the coffee table. “Sorry I ate -”

“Don’t be. You needed them. And now I know your weakness - chocolate. Well, Mr Lupin, I make a  _ mean _ hot chocolate and an even better brownie. Take your pick.”

“What?” he asked, confused, watching Elías.

“What do you like more? Brownie or hot chocolate?”

“Uh… hot chocolate, I’ll be honest,” he sniffled, smiling a bit.

“Alright. Then on Saturday, you’re coming to my place and we’re having hot chocolate. Is that a deal?” Elías offered, suddenly realizing that maybe he was coming off too strong and Remus had just chosen him to talk to because of circumstances. Fuck, what if he was creeped out? Did he seem too desperate? Was he -

“That’s a good deal,” Remus nodded, relaxing a bit more. “Do I also get to know your tragic backstory over shameful tears?”

“If you want it, yes,” Elías replied, completely honest. 

Remus startled, eyes going wide, quickly speaking, “I was joking, you don’t have to -”

“I know I don’t have to. But I want to. I want to trust you, because I do, and if you want to know about me and… my time at Hogwarts, then I don’t mind, Remus,” he shrugged. “I think it’d be nice… to have a friend. I don’t have - I don’t have friends. But I’d like to be yours. If - you want to, of course,” he added the last part in a rush, swallowing.

“No, no, I… I want to be your friend, too,” Remus murmured, watching him with understanding, green eyes. “I think we’re already friends, to be honest.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Elías laughed, rubbing his nose, smiling at Remus. “That’s nice, though. Friends. You can bother me in my office and crash my classes if you want.”

“Will you go to choir if I do?” Remus asked and Elías stood, shaking his head. “No, no, wait!” he laughed.

“Nope, nope! You went too far! I’m not going!”

“Elías!”

“Bye, Remus!”

“Eliiiiiias!”


	5. Secrets

"This is absurd," Elías groaned as he walked into Remus' office, dropping a batch of sugar quills on his desk, the professor looking up with a little laugh. "They found out these are my favorite! And they gave me so many! It's just girls doing this,  _ thirteen year old girls _ ! This is so uncomfortable!"

"I suppose it's part of being a teacher," Remus grinned, taking one of the quills and starting to enjoy it, pushing a few exams away from him and sitting comfortably in his chair. "Who was it this time?"

"The Hufflepuff group - one of them was the girl who got that bloody nose the first day," he sighed, rubbing his face. "I don't  _ get it _ . If it'd been just her, I'd understand but it's just  _ so many _ . Is it because I'm the only one who's under thirty?"

"Probably," Remus raised his eyebrows at him. "Or maybe it's because ah, what was it that Ms Brown had said? You're a  _ dreamy Spanish man with a cute accent _ ."

"I do  _ not _ have a Spanish accent, though!" Elías burst out but Remus only laughed harder. “I worked so hard not to have an accent! I don’t have one!”

“You sound American, yes, but you still sometimes have an accent - especially when you speak spells aloud,” Remus told him, grinning. “Why are you so bothered, though? You’re the youngest of the staff, you’ve got blue eyes and you’re kind and open with the kids. Of course they’ll have little crushes on you. They drift towards more mature men, if only because  _ they _ want to be mature and adult. It’s normal for kids to have these crushes.”

“I still don’t like it,” Elías sighed, pouting as he sat on the edge of Remus’ desk. “Hope you enjoy all the extra candy you’re getting.”

“Oh, I’m delighted,” Remus laughed, nudging him. “Soon Hogsmeade will open to everyone and we can go get you candy that’s not from the kids, yes?”

“That’ll be fun,” Elías hummed, turning to Remus, about to ask him about today’s classes when he took a good look at his friend, frowning deeply at the bags under his eyes and his slightly feverish look. “Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” green eyes moved to blue and Elías felt his heart skip a bit - damn it. Still too handsome. “I - I’m alright, Elías.”

“You look a bit sick. Is it the full moon?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” Remus returned a soft little smile. “Nothing I’m not used to, in any case. It’s alright, Elías, I’ll be fine.”

“Is there anything I can do to alleviate? Anything you - I don’t know, need or want?” Elías questioned, sitting back down on the chair in front of his desk, taking a sugar quill for himself. “I could make some nice hot chocolate again.”

“It  _ was _ really nice,” Remus confessed with a small chuckle. “No, no, I just… get a bit testy,” he winced. “More irritable. I get some headaches and - it’s a strange, embarrassing thing, all of it. I often say or do things that I normally wouldn’t do? It’s - the wolf. It wants some things, sometimes, and - I can mostly stop it. But when the full moon is close, he… gets a bit closer to the surface, too.”

“If you like your steaks a bit more rare, that’s doable,” Elías laughed. “But I mean - what does he usually want?”

“To go outside, more often,” Remus shrugged. “To not be so close to children? They’re loud and it has sensitive hearing. I… some things? Are enhanced? The day or two before the full moon?”

“Like smell and hearing, I’m guessing,” Elías nodded, pursing his lips a little. “If you’ve got a headache or if you’re bothered, just tell me, alright? I can cook up some excuse and get you out of an uncomfortable situation.”

“There’s no… need,” Remus said, a bit lamely, and Elías fixed him with a  _ look _ . “Thank you. I’ll let you know, that’s - thank you.”

“Will you be missing the day of the full moon, then? The entire day?” Elías asked.

“I’ll very probably be in my rooms all day, yes. Fortunately it’s a Saturday this time,” Remus said with a relieved sigh. “Then it’s off to the Shrieking Shack.”

“Doesn’t seem very comfortable,” Elías murmured, frowning. “Do you -”

He paused, suddenly realizing how much he was grilling Remus for things that were probably uncomfortable for him. He hesitated, giving Remus an apologetic look but the professor was already giving him a reassuring smile.

“It’s alright,” he reached over, patting Elías’ hand, smiling at him. “You may ask.”

“Are you sure? I feel like this is all very personal,” Elías replied, not wanting to push. “I still owe you my  _ tragic _ backstory,” he joked a bit.

“You can ask,” Remus reassured him, then paused. “Actually,  _ may _ I ask something that’s probably indelicate? In regards to your own… thing?” he winced. “If it’s extremely rude, you may slap me.”

Elías laughed, shaking his head, “No, no, from you, I know it comes in good faith. Go for it.”

Remus nodded, hand running over his hair and Elías felt his blood run hot at the gesture, hiding his blush with a hand against his cheek, trying to be nonchalant. Gods, Remus was unbelievably handsome. He must know it, right?

“How… how did your parents take it?” Remus murmured, eyes finding his, and of all the questions Elías was expecting, that wasn’t one of them. “I’m not - I’m not comparing lycanthropy with… being trans, it’s just - I’m curious as to how one could take such a change. Compared to mine, I mean.”

“Something that changes your life so drastically, yeah, I guess I understand,” Elías sighed deeply, hand burrowing into his own hair. “Well, shit, they didn’t take it too well at first. My pa was - shocked. Most of all shocked. My mother outright cried and denied it. My sister also denied it, gaslighting me and - telling me that I was making shit up just to feel special.”

Remus recoiled visibly and Elías gave a laugh.

“Yeah, I know, right? My sister and I didn’t get along very well when I was sixteen.”

“How old is she?” he asked quietly.

“Twenty five,” Elías replied. “She’s older than me. We get along fine now, but it took a lot of time. She used to think I owed her. That she could steer me… into the right path, let’s say.”

“Sounds bad,” Remus murmured.

“It was bad - only for a while,” Elías breathed in, then let a deep sigh out. “My mom is my best friend. And so is my dad. They’re both wonderful people - living in Brussels now. Mom thinks it’s a shame I can’t visit more often, she misses me so much. Elena’s working in the Spanish Ministry of Magic so she has more leisure time to go visit them. My parents are slightly sad that they don’t understand magic. That’s why I make sure I’m up to date with muggle things - aside from the fact that I really love muggle things.”

Remus smiled at him, looking much more at ease. “So they accept you as a man now?”

“They do,” Elías smiled back, relief present all over his face. “Mom took some time but now she’s good with it. She and I are all good.”

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Remus grinned at him, eyes earnest. “What was it that you wanted to ask me, then? Since we’re exchanging stories.”

“I was gonna ask,” Elías began, sighing. “What… what happens in the morning after? Do you remember it all? Does it come back in pieces? Do you wake up as a wolf or… wake up as you?”

Remus inhaled deeply, getting ready to answer, leaning back on his seat as he gingerly picked another sugar quill. Elías followed his lead.

“The transformation is painful,” he spoke slowly and Elías nodded, wanting to listen to him through it all. “It’s so painful that sometimes… sometimes I black out, after I come to myself, when the morning arrives. I black out and then… wake up on the floor of the shrieking shack. And I’m probably bleeding and bruised and everything hurts? But… if the door held, then - I don’t feel as bad.”

Elías swallowed, watching him, hand putting the sugar quill down on the desk.

“Do you turn back with the sunrise?” he asked.

“Yes,” Remus nodded. “During blue hour, I start to shift. It lasts around… twenty minutes or so?” Remus sighed, rubbing his neck as Elías winced. “Not a fun experience.”

“Would it make it more manageable if you had someone -”

“ _ No _ ,” Remus cut in, firm and cold, and Elías jumped a bit as Remus looked at him directly in the eye. “I know what you’re thinking. No.”

“But does it?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s more manageable than not, Elías,” Remus replied, a bit harshly, voice rough. “It’s dangerous. It’s a shifting werewolf.”

“It’s  _ you,  _ you wouldn’t harm -”

“But I have, in the past,” Remus snapped and Elías fell silent, eyes wide. “I almost killed Snape. And instead I put a scar on James. So no, Elías, I don’t want you to come to me in the morning after a full moon, because it is  _ dangerous _ .”

Elías went quiet, watching his hands, nodding. He felt guilt crawling up his throat - he just wanted to  _ help _ . To think of Remus in the Shrieking Shack, alone and wounded, crying out as he bled on the floor…

“Okay,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“I - I know you’re trying to help,” Remus sighed. “But if you were there, if  _ anyone _ was there… it would just make me feel more of a danger to my friends. I just gained one in a very long time. Don’t let me lose him, alright?”

Elías looked up, watching Remus for a moment before he nodded, giving him a small smile. “Okay. Still, I - expect nice things on your doorstep. I’m the nurturing type, alright? I didn’t say yes to a teaching position just because of the pay.”

“Nurturing type - do you have any other siblings?” Remus asked, curious.

“Nope. But I’ve a ton of cousins,” Elías stood as the bells rang for noon, the two starting to pick up everything to go to lunch at the Great Hall. “I used to take care of a bunch of them. And care for a lot of kids during the summer, around our neighborhood.”

“And you’re a Slytherin because…?” Remus teased, looking at him with amusement.

“Because once I want something, I’ll do anything to get it,” Elías replied easily with a shrug, eyebrow raised, unimpressed. “Because if nobody’s willing to do anything - communicate or simply  _ work _ towards something - then  _ I _ will. Because I’m not bound by loyalty to someone who may have done something good, once. I’m critical of people who do questionable things and I don’t care if they’re the biggest saint in the bible or the worst scum of the Earth.”

Elías finished and looked at Remus as they descended the stairs, finding him grinning widely. The Spaniard didn’t expect that reaction but he began to smile himself, laughing as they passed by students.

“What?” he chuckled.

“No, just - you’re right,” Remus laughed. “Ambition is the first sign of a Slytherin, right? So you’re admitting here that you’re a very ambitious person.”

“I am, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Elías raised his chin proudly.

“Not saying there is,” Remus quickly said, chuckling. “Just… it doesn’t make much sense to me? That you’re this - ambitious person yet you’re  _ here _ , as a teacher. Doing Astronomy when you’re obviously very attached to music, if your conversations with Flitwick are anything to go by. Shouldn’t you be working, I don’t know, to try and be a famous musician of some sort?”

_ Once I thought I could do that _ .

“Who says I’m not?” Elías replied instead, giving him a little smirk. “I’m earning a little money on the side, coming back here to Hogwarts -”

“By Dumbledore’s petition,” he pointed out, eyes calculating, thoughts running wildly through them. “You came by Dumbledore’s petition. And you couldn’t tell me why.”

“I’d hoped you’d forgotten about that,” Elías confessed, completely honest, walking through the double doors to the Great Hall as Remus threw his head back and laughed, making a few students turn to the pair of them. “Listen, I can admit when I’ve been caught!”

“You’re  _ killing _ me, Elías,” Remus snickered, shaking his head, climbing up the stairs to the staff table and sitting down next to him. “Alright, you keep those secrets close to you.”

“One day, if I can, I’ll tell you. Or I’ll probably end up telling you anyway because I’ll end up trusting you more than Dumbledore or something,” Elías shrugged and Remus chuckled.

“One day.”

* * *

Sunday morning started with Elías immediately moving out of his bed, rushing through his morning routine - getting showered and dressed exactly at blue hour so he could have time to leave the grounds. He knew the little spot under the Whomping Willow, because everyone in the staff had been notified. 

So he rushed to the kitchens, making a little breakfast package before hastily moving through empty halls, his wand at the ready just in case, stepping into the crisp, October morning air towards the willow.

He had no idea what to expect, but he'd respected Remus' decision - the sun was rising, blue hour was over and he was on his way to help a friend, lips pursed.

He hadn't slept all night, laying on his bed, wondering if Remus was okay. He'd attempted to get some shut eye and, when that hadn't worked, he'd played some guitar to calm his nerves but every single time, his eyes drifted to the moon through his window. Remus was out there, in an old abandoned shack, hurt and wounded and alone and Elías felt so terribly awful just thinking of Remus, of all people, having to suffer through it.

But now here he was, calming the Whomping Willow with a firm flick of his wand before sliding into the small tunnel underneath. Once upon a time, he may have been scared of these walls, this tiny enclosed space, but before anything came his friend, eyes dark with intent.

He had a healing spell he'd prepared for tonight, he had breakfast and bandages and some blankets - Remus may not want to put him in danger but at least Elías would make sure that he had a better morning.

He crawled out of the tunnel through a trapdoor, ears tuned to any noise and soon enough he heard Remus - breathing hard, crying out in pain -

"I'm here!" He called, scrambling past torn, rotten wood, eyes wide, heart in his throat. "Remus! Remus, I'm here!"

He almost slipped as he entered the room where he heard the cries from, finding Remus in rags, laying on his side with a small pool of blood forming under him, deep gashes in his shoulder.

"Shit, shit,  _ shit _ ," he hissed, sliding to his knees before quickly searching his bag for Dittany, finding it with shaking hands before applying it to his wounds, swallowing as a greenish smoke wafted and Remus choked. "I'm here! I'm here, I'm here, you're alright," he promised, a bit panicky before he reminded himself that Remus had been through this multiple times -

Gods,  _ gods _ . Multiple times. Elías wanted to cry. But - he breathed in, breathed out, let himself calm down so he could help Remus better.

“C’mon, there we go,” he whispered, moving Remus on his back, eyes unable to stop themselves from moving to his chest, where various scars littered his skin. Elías swallowed again, a knot in his throat, wondering since when he’d been clawing at himself and harming himself this way. “Shit. Okay, first your arm -”

He began to work on cleaning the wound, gently pulling him to his lap, enough to prop him up properly, catching his hard breathing and soft little hisses of pain.

“It’s gonna be alright, Remus - you’ll see. You’ll be back to shape in no time at all,” he kept murmuring, more to reassure himself than Remus, finishing up with the cleaning before he worked on bandaging his shoulder, sighing shakily when the werewolf relaxed. “See? All good.”

“Told you… it’d be dangerous…” Remus rasped, voice broken, probably by his screaming, but Elías shushed him, hand pressing gently to his pulse to check how it was. “I -”

“You told me it was dangerous to be here during shifting. I came only when the sun rose,” he replied, serious. 

“It’s still unnecessary -”

“Well, I think it’s necessary, given that you’re half beaten here on a cold floor!” Elías retorted furiously, hand checking his head for concussions only to realize just… how soft Remus’ hair was -

Not the time for that.

“It’s always been like this,” Remus murmured, trying to clear his throat and Elías reached into his bag for the warm milk he’d doused with honey, propping his head up a bit to drink. The professor seemed about to protest but he then noticed the warmth of it and just melted as he drank, relief flooding him, shaky hands gripping the splintered wood on the floor.

“But it  _ doesn’t _ have to be, you stubborn -  _ Gods _ ,” Elías let out an incredulous laugh, checking Remus’ other arm, his wrists and elbows for signs of a break, his back gently. Remus seemed to be slowly coming back to himself and, aside from the wound on his shoulder and quite a couple of bruises, he didn’t have much else. “I respect you, Remus. And I respect your decision for me not to come during the full moon. I understand that it’s dangerous and it makes you nervous and scared to hurt someone. You  _ are _ a werewolf and it can be dangerous, yes - but don’t you  _ dare _ imply that it’s - it’s - that it’s  _ normal _ to be left on the floor, lonely, after something so horrible happening to you. I won’t take it.”

“I don’t… want anyone to see me like this,” Remus sighed, hand covering his face as he finally sat up on his own, wincing when he rolled his shoulder. “It’s -”

He paused, rolling his lips, hastily looking away. Elías watched, frowning, boiling inside at the hatred and disgust he saw cross Remus’ features. This wasn’t put there on its own. This was anti-werewolf propaganda drilled into every bit of this man’s life. The Ministry of Magic, with their sneering faces to goblins, elves and other magical creatures. The way some people  _ still  _ held onto house elves under the guise of a contract. How Remus probably hadn’t been able to hold down to jobs because of something that was as easily fixable as a few extra hours at work through the month so he could skip a single day.

“You saw me greasy-haired and disgustingly sleepy the other week,” Elías tried to joke, hand moving a disinfectant-soaked cotton to wash away from blood on his arm when Remus angrily slapped his hand away, startling him.

“That’s  _ not _ what this is, though!” he snapped, turning fully to Elías with green eyes. “I could  _ kill  _ you!”

“After sunrise? After shifting? After you’ve had a shit fucking night and you’re laying down with half your blood out of your body?” Elías barked at him, making Remus recoil at the strength of his voice. “No, no, you don’t  _ get _ to do that. Hagrid tries to fucking do it, too - you two sit back, let people beat you over with words that others whisper into their ears, and you expect  _ me _ , a friend of yours, to accept that you hate yourselves. Well,  _ fuck that _ . I’m not going to roll over just because people have told you your entire life that you’re a monster. You’re  _ not _ .”

Remus watched Elías as the younger wizard furiously dabbed at the dried blood on his skin, his cheeks red with anger and frustration, eyes hard. Under Elías’ fingers, Remus suddenly seemed to let most tension seep out and when the Spaniard looked up, he saw Remus a bit solemn. 

“Your boggart was yourself,” Remus said. “An older, distorted version of yourself. But it was you - the way you see yourself.”

Elías said nothing, once again focusing on Remus’ wounds and not his green, intense eyes.

“Am I right?” Remus pressed.

“Yes! Yes, you are! What, you think it makes me a hypocrite, wanting to help you? No, Remus, I fucking empathize with you. I know what it’s like to be scared of what others will think of you once they realize you’re a bit more complex than you think. I know what it’s like to hate yourself, to know that you’re potentially hurting others. I know what it’s like to cause other people hurt for something you have no control over,” he swallowed. “So yeah - I’m not a werewolf. But I do hate myself. I’ve hated myself for a long time. And sometimes I wished someone would sit down with me and tell me what they honestly think of me. I wish - I wish someone would fight me, get through me, set me straight when I’m being wrong.  _ This _ is me doing for you what I wish others did for me. Does that make me a hypocrite?”

“No,” Remus whispered in return, sighing. 

“Exactly,” Elías nodded, firm and resolute. “You said we’re friends. I’m your friend. So when the sun rises after a full moon, I’ll be here to help you. Because that’s what friends do. And I know - I know you said you’re used to something different. Well, time to change. No more laying here and feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in hatred and sadness. That’s not fucking healthy.”

“I’m aware,” Remus let a small smile curl on his lips, watching Elías as he checked his bandage. “I - I’ve never seen you angry.”

“Well, if you’re going to be this stupid, better get used to it,” Elías met his eyes, defiance in them. “You’ve only known me for a month, too, Lupin. Expect me to push boundaries sometimes, when you’re being too stubborn.”

“Only if you allow me to push yours, then,” Remus leaned his head forward, looking just as serious as Elías. “Because I’m pretty sure that you’ve got your bad habits, too.”

“I do,” Elías sighed, hanging his head a bit, avoiding his focused stare. “I’m - trying, okay? I really am, at least there’s that. So if you push… maybe I’ll get angry. Or cry - I actually cry a lot, I’m a huge crybaby.”

Remus laughed a bit, voice still slightly sore. “That’s alright. I can take crying.”

“Hope you can,” Elías nudged their knees together, giving him a little grin. “Honestly, I cry  _ a lot _ . If I see a very tiny owl, I start bawling.”

Remus now laughed louder, even throwing his head back a bit and patting Elías’ knee, making his heart skip a little bit at the sight of him so happy. It was good to see him recovering some energy.

“I brought you some breakfast, too,” Elías said, taking his pack and placing some biscuits and charcuterie in front of him, smiling. “Thought you’d be hungry after this.”

“ _ Oh, thank you _ ,” Remus breathed, immediately digging in, ravenous as he got comfortable on the cold floor of the Shrieking Shack, Elías leaning back with his anxiety slowly falling away. 

Once Remus was finished with breakfast, Elías helped him stand, giving him his favorite, soft knitted blanket. With a wave of his hand, the two turned invisible so the students that were awake wouldn’t see them both and, with that, they began to walk back to the castle. The morning was cold, still, and Elías felt leaves crunch under his feet. Autumn always seemed to arrive so early in Scotland.

It was as they were nearly in the Hospital Wing, in an empty corridor, when Remus finally spoke up, breaking the silence they’d kept on the way here.

“I… I know I shouted and was… generally not really thankful for what you’ve done but -” he exhaled loudly, his arm over Elías’ shoulder tightening for a moment. “I-I  _ am  _ grateful. For what you’ve done today. Nobody ever… did that for me. The food and the bandages and the - the demand for me to actually uh… take care of… me, I suppose...”

He trailed off and Elías gave a shrug.

“Well, now I have. And expect it every morning after full moons,” he hummed. “You’re welcome, by the way. I did it gladly.”

Remus said nothing, and Elías finally undid the invisible spell and walked into the Infirmary, Madame Pomfrey startling when she saw Elías helping Remus.

“Well, I don’t believe my eyes!” she huffed, walking forward with eyes running over his bandages, the smell of dittany still lingering. “Professor Fernández,” she began, stern. “I won’t even  _ begin _ with your less-than-fortunate training in healing -”

“I’ve got a first-aid certificate by the national Spanish military force and I dittany is  _ hardly _ an advanced form of healing,” Elías cut in, cocking an eyebrow as he helped Remus sit on one of the beds. “I gave him food and some basic help, that’s all - and did it when the sun was already out. It was safe, it was  _ fine _ , Pomona. Please.”

“Be  _ careful _ ,” she still warned, pointing a finger at him before turning to Remus. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Alright. I’ll just sit close,” Elías hummed, taking a chair and grinning at the mediwitch, who gave another huff while Remus hid a smile behind the back of his hand.


	6. Red Flags

There was a  _ problem _ with Fred and George Weasley and Elías wasn’t usually one to get mad at students but they truly had pushed their luck this time, the Astronomy professor holding them by the back of their collars as he approached McGonagall’s classroom.

“Professor Fernández, truly, it wasn’t - we were going to fix it!”

“Yes! We didn’t expect it to - to fall apart like that!”

“Shush!” Elías snapped, walking up the stairs with students staring at the display with giggles, some of them surprised to see their usually mild-mannered Astronomy professor fuming. The twins, though - well, it wasn’t a surprise that these two had been the ones to get him angry for the first time. “You two are  _ imbeciles _ . I’ve told you time and time again that my personal astronomy tools are not to be touched! Who did you want to prank, then, if nobody else but me touches them?!”

“Er… that’s a good question,” one piped in, giving a nervous grin. 

“We were curious about them!”

“So you decided to  _ ruin _ them?” Elías left their collars and grabbed them by the ears, the twins immediately twisting their walk so it wouldn’t hurt as much. “Ten more points from Gryffindor!”

“You’ve done it now, Weasleys!” one student walking by hollered but quickly retrieved as Elías glared at him, his coat flying behind him as he turned the corner and found students walking out of McGonagall’s class, Third Year Gryffindors, one of them being the brother of the twins. “Minerva!” he called, throwing the twins inside, interrupting a conversation with Potter, apparently. “ _ These _ are yours, yes?” he crossed his arms, watching the two students.

McGonagall pursed her lips, eyes sharp, turning to the twins. “What did they do?”

“They destroyed an antique telescope,” he explained slowly. “They tried to make a prank out of it and in the process, broke it. I caught them as they tried to run off with the pieces.”

“Forty points from Gryffindor, Mr and Mr Weasley!” McGonagall rolled the parchment in her hand and hit them both over the head, the two Gryffindors looking a bit terrified when facing the head of their house. “Detention! For two weeks! I want you to scrub the entirety of the Charms Corridor! Eight in the evening, I want you two there, starting tomorrow!”

“Yes, Professor McGonagall,” the two chorused, and Elías watched them scram as soon as Mcgonagall dismissed them, his foul mood elating a bit as he noticed that Harry Potter seemed to be nervously watching the transfiguration professor. 

“I’m so sorry you lost that telescope, Elías,” Minerva spoke softly, her eyes kind. “Is there any way to repair it?”

“It was an antique - I’ll have to hire someone to try and reassemble it,” Elías sighed, rubbing his cheek. “It’ll be fine -”

“Professor, I’m - I’m so sorry, but,” Potter interrupted, making both of the adults turn to him. “I just - d’you think it would be all right mean, will It be okay if I - if I go to Hogsmeade?”

Elías paused, frowning, confused as Potter seemed to hold out his Hogsmeade form, empty of guardian signatures. Now that he thought about it, if Potter was an orphan… who was in charge of him? Who were his guardians? Was he adopted into another family?

“I’m afraid not, Potter,” McGonagall said. “You heard what I said. No form, no visiting the village. That’s the rule.”

“But - Professor, my aunt and uncle - you know, they’re Muggles, they don’t really

understand about - about Hogwarts forms and stuff,” Harry stuttered, the boy clutching the form tight enough to wrinkle it and Elías wondered in what world did muggles struggle to understand a form slip about going outside a school. “If you said I could go -”

“But I don’t say so,” said Professor McGonagall, moving to her desk and piling her papers neatly into a drawer. “The form clearly states that the parent or guardian must give permission.” She turned to look at him, with pity shining in her face, Elías feeling like he was missing something. “I’m sorry, Potter, but that’s my final word. You had better hurry, or you’ll be late for your next lesson.” 

Harry seemed utterly defeated, the kid hauling his bag over his shoulder and rushing out of the classroom, Hermione and Ron following after him. Elías felt the annoyance at the twins vanish completely, replaced by pity and sadness.

“Why - why wouldn’t they sign the form?” Elías turned to Minerva, walking over to her desk. “Perhaps we could send an owl to his aunt and uncle? Get them to sign it quick, before Hallowee -”

“They won’t sign the form, Elías,” she sighed, taking off her glasses to wipe them with her handkerchief. “It’s not that they’re muggles.”

Elías felt dread sinking into his stomach, hand moving to grip his wand, to try and calm himself down.

“What, they don’t like magic?” he dared to ask.

“Apparently not,” McGonagall murmured, focusing on her paperwork. “Potter won’t go to Hogsmeade, because they won’t sign the slip.”

“Because they don’t want to - is he okay?” he suddenly asked, turning to look outside the classroom, as if Harry and his friends were still there. “Is that child okay?” he questioned, alarmed. “It seems -”

“It’s none of my business, nor yours, Professor Fernández,” McGonagall cut in, quite harshly, eyes showing a warning as they settled on his blues. “It’d do you well not to question these things.”

“These  _ things _ ? You mean potential child abuse?” Elías was appalled.

“Not signing a form is hardly abuse, Elías, don’t be naive,” McGonagall told him and that shut him up, lips pursed. “Mr Potter is known for breaking the rules as he pleases. He’s gotten into plenty of trouble in his time at Hogwarts. I am sure, as thirteen year olds are to do, that he’s gotten into trouble back at home. And the Dursleys surely refuse to sign the slip because of it.”

“But you said they -”

“Elías,” McGonagall interrupted him, voice authoritative. “Drop it.”

The Astronomy Professor exited her classroom with billowing robes, a stark green and black against the sea of colors that the students represented, his eyes stormy and his mind reeling. Minerva was right, of course - not signing a form is not an indicative of child abuse. But the manner in which she spoke about Harry’s family - muggles. Most likely Lily Potter’s family. How were they? He couldn’t outright ask Harry, he probably didn’t trust Elías, even if he’d seemed invested and entertained in his classes. No, Remus was closer with the kid - and so was Hagrid and Dumbledore, and seemingly McGonagall.

But McGonagall would not speak, and Elías knew that neither would Hagrid - out of loyalty, of course, to Dumbledore. Elías felt his anger spike again, thinking of Dumbledore behind his oaken desk, pulling strings on loyalty, on disguised manipulation, empathy shining where interest fell in the shadows.

Elías walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, knocking quickly first, every little head of Gryffindors and Ravenclaw Third Years whipping back to watch him. Remus blinked at him from the end of his class, wand in hand to move chalk through a blackboard.

“Elías?” Remus asked, putting the chalk down.

“May I have just a quick moment? It’ll be fast, I promise,” he said, voice calm, but his body language was tense.

The students began to murmur among themselves as Remus frowned, crossing his class and following Elías out of it, doors closing.

“What’s going on?” he asked immediately.

“Who are the guardians in charge of Harry Potter?” Elías pulled him away from the doors, not wanting to be heard by overly curious kids.

Remus, confused, watched Elías with his tongue still. “I… what?”

“Who are his legal guardians? Aunt and Uncle, did James have siblings?” he pressed.

“No - no, he didn’t,” Remus shook his head. “Lily did, a sister named Petunia. She was a muggle. Why? What’s - what’s going on?”

“I’m trying to figure that out,” Elías sighed, tapping his lower lip with dark eyes. “There was an incident today with Harry and his slip to Hogsmeade. McGonagall said a few things that raised some red flags.”

Remus paused, frowning. “Red flags,” he deadpanned, shaking his head. “As in -”

“As in, McGonagall telling me that they don’t like magic type of red flags,” Elías said seriously, arms crossing. “How’s he look? What did his boggart turn -”

“A dementor - Elías, are you alright? You’re shaking,” Remus stepped closer, hand moving to gently grip his arm, whispering. “I can inquire a bit, find out some things, but I haven’t really seen any signs. If I do, I’ll let you know, yes?”

Elías nodded, swallowing hard, wishing he had the guts to let his forehead fall on Remus’ shoulder. He could use a hug right now.

“Yes. Okay,” he breathed out, and Remus squeezed his arm, giving him a small smile. “Sorry for interrupting your class, I was just…”

“Shaken, I understand,” Remus had that calming, gentle tone that worked wonders, making Elías slowly relax into his grip. “Hey - after classes, we can talk further about this. If you really think there’s something, it’s worth pondering.”

“Thank you,” Elías whispered, voice but a thread, eyes burning. “I’m sorry - I’m sorry, I just - this is - I never thought I’d actually have to look out for this stuff -”

“Take a deep breath,” Remus put his other hand on the back of Elías’ neck and Elías about  _ died _ on the spot, heart skyrocketing, his face feeling hot as Remus’ fingers touched the intimate skin under his head. Oh Gods. Oh Gods, he was blushing hard and he quickly hid it by pressing his forehead against Remus’ collarbones, breathing hard. “Slow. Slowly, alright? Breathe in -”

Elías did, hands shaking now for an entirely different reason, gripping his holey jumper and suddenly getting a lungful of black tea, black ink and cocoa. Underneath it all, it just smelled like Remus and, in a moment of realization, as Remus tried to calm him down, Elías realized that he had the stupidest fucking crush on him.

Elías had a crush on Remus.  _ Fuck _ .

“Are you having a panic attack?” Remus asked and Elías barely heard him through the sound of his own blood pumping in his ears.

“Maybe,” he squeaked, eyes wide. “I - need to sit down, is all, I need to - ha -  _ haa _ \- you’ve a class to -”

“Class can wait, it was just a review of the lesson,” Remus reassured, his hand still on the back of his neck as Elías tried desperately to calm his nefarious heart. “Elías -”

“It’s - it’s  _ fine _ , I’ve got this, I just have to c-curl into a ball for five minutes and it’ll - go away,” he swallowed, eyes deflecting Remus’ as he pulled away.

“Are you sure?” the werewolf pressed, hand reading to grip Elías’ wrist before he stumbled against a wall. “Elías -”

“I’m fine -”

“Elías -”

“Trust me, I’ve done this a thousand -”

“ _ Elías _ ,” Remus snapped firmly and the Spaniard looked up, eyes wide, finding Remus grabbing his wrist and pulling him closer to the wall, where he could rest against it. “I am pushing you right now - you need help. Pay attention to me. Breathe in for eight seconds.”

Elías did, breathing in. He knew this routine, and when Remus told him to hold it for another eight, he followed, then exhaled for eight seconds, and repeated the process until his vision didn’t seem to crawl with black at the edges.

Once he was sufficiently calm, he sighed, eyes closing, dropping his head back against the wall. “Thanks,” he croaked. “I’m s -”

“Again, just a review lesson,” Remus reassured, hand on his shoulder, eyes worried. “We’ll talk later. Go to your rooms, rest a bit, have some tea. I’ll find you as soon as I’ve the time, alright?”

“You don’t need -”

Remus’ other hand gripped his other shoulder and Elías almost swallowed his tongue as Remus fixed him with an intense stare.

“Alright?” he whispered.

“Alright,” Elías said, just as quiet.

With that, Remus finally let his hands fall from Elías and gave him one last nod, moving back to his classroom, the sound of students talking overwhelming for a second. Then the doors closed again and Elías whispered to himself.

“ _ Fuck _ .”

* * *

His morning went wrong, and so did his afternoon. He was in a  _ mood _ and everyone could sense it, apparently, because students moved out of his way as he walked from the library to his rooms, trying not to climb over First Years. He wondered if this was how Snape felt all the time. The mere thought of looking like  _ him _ sent him scowling yet again.

Apparently, though, from the whispers he heard around him, everyone blamed the Weasley twins. Well, good - those two had broken his favorite telescope and he’d have to pay some hefty money to repair it.

The one good thing was that he was unbothered, when usually the students would try to engage him in the hallways. Today was just not a good day for that. It was, of course, the perfect day for him to basically run over Snape, smashing right into his chest, the potions professor snarling at him the moment the two gained their footing back.

“Be careful, Fernández!” Snape snapped at him, making everyone in the hallway freeze. “You absolute  _ fool _ , running in the hallways like -”

“ _ Bite me _ , you greasy  _ bat _ ,” Elías barked just as wildly, stepping closer and getting all in his face, delighted to have someone to unleash onto, spoiling for a fight only to find the nastiest man in the building. 

“Your unprofessionalism shines, Fernández,” Snape hissed at him after a few seconds of stunned silence, glaring deeply, his black eyes menacing but oh, Elías was way past being a scared little fourteen year old boy in potions class. “Perhaps if you took that energy and put it into good use -”

“That’d involve you on the floor before you could think,  _ Professor _ ,” he spit out, giving him a venomous smile before shoulder checking him in front of incredulous students. Snape turned, eyes furious, grabbing his arm -

Elías turned on his heel and expertly changed the grip so that he was the one twisting Snape’s arm, the professor about to yell when a familiar body moved between them both, Remus pressing a hand to Elías’ and Snape’s chest, separating them.

“Alright, enough,” he called, voice firm. “We’re all a bit testy. Let’s leave it at that.”

“Lucky for you, your guard dog came over,” Snape glared at Elías with such hatred that the Spaniard wondered how he could breathe through it. 

“Keep trying to look smug about it,” Elías whispered, taking a step closer only for Remus to grip his arms, starting to physically push him back. “He’s the only reason your nose’s still where it is.”

“Elías,” Remus warned, pushing at him as Snape began to reply.

“With that attitude, you should’ve been sorted into  _ Gryffindor _ ,” Snape sneered and Elías felt his anger almost blind him, hands raising but Remus pushed him again.

“Elías!” he whispered, eyes on his, making Elías hesitate. “He’s trying to get you into trouble. Let him have it. He’s a child and he knows he’s safe under Dumbledore. You’re not.”

“Run along, Professor Fernández!” Snape dismissed, sending one last smirk over his shoulder before he walked off and Elías felt his blood  _ boil _ . No matter how calm he could get with Remus, Hagrid or Flitwick, Snape always sent him into a violent overdrive. He was everything he hated in cisgender men -

“Come on -  _ come on _ , to your quarters. Forget about him,” Remus sighed, hand between Elías’ shoulders, the Slytherin fuming. “He’s a git. We both know it. Everyone knows it. Keep walking. Not in front of the students -  _ keep walking _ .”

Elías gritted his teeth but followed along, blindly climbing up the stairs until suddenly, Remus was closing the door of his rooms and Elías could give a punch to his couch, running his hands through his hair.

“He’s such a -” he let out a noise of frustration, feeling completely out of control. “That - that fucking -”

“You need to  _ calm down _ ,” Remus told him, getting closer and forcing Elías to sit on the couch, voice harsh. “You incited a fight with your colleague in front of other students, insulting him and almost throwing  _ fists _ . Is that the example you want to give to the students?” he asked, glaring him down.

“ _ He _ was the one throwing insults first! I cut him off!” Elías replied, throwing his hands up.

“Don’t throw me that excuse, that’s a First Year argument - Elías,  _ calm down _ ,” Remus ordered him, and Elías burst out.

“Why the  _ fuck _ does he get to act like a high school fucking  _ bully _ with kids and teachers and I’ve got to check  _ my _ own attitude when he insults me in front of everyone?! Why is he still here, fucking  _ teaching children  _ to be nasty to everyone -”

“Because Dumbledore doesn’t care about the fucking kids!” Remus snapped at him, making Elías go completely still. “And you  _ know _ that. You’ve known that for a long time. We all have.” Remus ran a hand through the stubble growing on his face, pacing for a moment as Elías took slow breaths. “Dumbledore has his own agenda. Snape should’ve been gone a long time ago - I’ve heard nothing but complaints from everyone that isn’t a Slytherin - and actually Slytherins too - since I got here. And when I went to tell Dumbledore, he dismissed me.”

“McGonagall dismissed me as well,” Elías whispered. “Today, when I went to - when I saw Harry at -”

“You’ve got to be smarter, Elías,” Remus told him, disappointment in his face and immediately, Elías felt shame rise in him, looking away from his friend. “Hagrid will have a trial soon, and I know how much it means for you to help him. You don’t want to get involved in a row and implicate him further in a scandal.”

“Shit,” Elías ran a hand through his hair, swallowing. “I didn’t -”

“I know,” Remus interrupted, a bit gentler this time. “That’s why I stepped in. I also know that you’d regret it, being seen in such a situation by the students.”

“What must they think of me now?” Elías asked in a thread of voice, watching the wall, stunned as he leaned back on the couch. “Shit.”

“Well, we’ll see what they think in the next few days,” Remus sighed, sitting next to Elías. “Look, you’re young -”

Elías groaned loudly, gripping his hair tight. “Do  _ not _ fucking test me, Lupin.”

Remus’ hand shot out and smacked him, right upside the head, surprising Elías so much that he didn’t even ask him what that had been.

“Calm  _ down _ ,” Remus repeated, sighing. “Gods, you remind me of Sirius -”

Elías closed his eyes as Remus immediately stopped talking, an uncomfortable silence taking over the room. Remus didn’t seem to know how to keep going and Elías just rubbed his face, way too tired from today.

“I’m sorry,” Remus whispered.

“Just forget it,” Elías retorted, voice breaking. “This day’s been shit. I hate this. I hate that I don’t know if one of my students is being abused. I hate that Snape pushed me over the edge. I hate that I fucking pulled you out of class only to force you to calm me down from a panic attack. I  _ hate _ that you’re rightfully mad at me for acting like a child. I hate that everyone keeps reminding how young I am, what a  _ child _ I am -”

“Stop it,” Remus moved to grab Elías’ wrist, sighing. “You’re doing the thing you said you didn’t want to do. I won’t allow pity parties and self-deprecation.”

“I didn’t - I just listed what happened today,” Elías murmured, feeling the impossible warmth of Remus’ hand around his wrist. 

“You’re not a child, Elías. You’re just twenty-one. And like it or not, Snape is twelve years older than you, and he’s got his verbal sparring down to a t.  _ And _ he knows how to manipulate -”

“I should, as well, though,” Elías huffed. “I’m a fucking Slytherin -”

“Houses are bollocks,” Remus snapped. “Stop talking like everyone else, stop thinking that a house makes you one way or another. It’s bullshit. It’s separatist. It’s competitive and it’s an extra pressure on people. And you  _ know _ this.”

Elías sighed again, grunting, saying nothing else, Remus still holding his wrist. For a moment, the two stayed silent and Elías felt himself calm down, little by little. Enough, at least, for the hurt to take in. Did Elías remind Remus of Sirius in a bad way? Was he too angry, too rash? Had Sirius been like this when he decided to sell the Potters and ruin multiple lives? Even if Elías knew that Sirius wasn’t the murderer everyone thought he was, Remus still held him in contempt over the murders of Lily and James, over that betrayal in their Fifth Year. Elías closed his eyes, trying not to think so much of it, trying not to be hurt by such an offhand comment.

“Elías -”

“I thought it’d be different,” the Spaniard cut in, watching his window, the grey skies swirling with the strong October winds. “I thought coming back here would be different. That I’d have - a brand new start, or something, and I wouldn’t screw it up, let my emotions get the best of me.”

“You didn’t screw it up,” Remus told him, finally letting go of his wrist, Elías quickly dropping his own hands on his lap. “It’ll just be another petty little fight. Students will gossip about it for a while and that’s it. Merlin knows Trelawney and McGonagall have had fights that were much worse.”

“But -”

“And,” Remus interrupted. “You’ve had a bad day. There’s a lot of emotions brewing about. It’s understandable that you feel the way you do - doesn’t excuse you. But it’s a reason. And you shouldn’t feel  _ overly _ guilty about it.”

“I don’t want to be vulnerable to Snape again, though,” he whispered, feeling his eyes burning, quickly rubbing them to get rid of tears. “Shit. Fuck, I’m sorry -”

“It’s okay,” Remus gently put his hand on his back again, making Elías repress a shudder. “Listen, I never had him as a professor -”

“Good,” Elías laughed, giving out a weak little sob. “He ruined my chances to be a potioneer. He isolated me from my own housemates. He robbed me of a valuable internship by badmouthing me to the higher-ups at the schooling council in the Ministry. I was so vulnerable that someone took advantage of me and -” he choked, now fully crying. “And when I told Dumbledore, nobody did  _ anything _ . They all - they all said that the dickhead who -” he swallowed. “That he was too important, that it’d be a scandal, that the school couldn’t take it. So they helped my transition to buy my fucking silence. And I was stupid enough to be grateful about it.”

Remus stayed quiet, the only sound being the pitter-patter of rain against the windows and the distant thunder. Elías didn’t dare to look at his face.

“There’s my tragic background,” he laughed hysterically, sniffling hard against the sleeve of his robes, toes curling and knees shaking, even sitting down. 

“Elías,  _ fuck _ ,” Remus breathed, aghast, his hand utterly still on Elías’ back. “Why would you come back -”

“Because someone’s trying to fucking  _ kill me _ , that’s why,” Elías sobbed, burying his face in his hands. “She’s in fucking Azkaban but I know she’ll get out. I know she’ll come after me and Dumbledore offered me protection. So I took it.”

Remus let out a few words, but Elías didn’t process them, sobbing. He wanted so bad to tell Remus of his visions, of his Sight, of the way they plagued him ever since he could remember. He wanted to tell him of Sirius, of Harry in the courtyard, much older and much harder, of the bodies of young children scattered along the United Kingdom and more. But he  _ couldn’t _ . If he told Remus -

If he told Remus, maybe he wouldn’t want to listen. Maybe he’d cross him out as a failure, a fake, much like the Divination Professor with owl eyes and too many beaded necklaces. Maybe he’d keep the condescending comments of his age, tell him of his inexperience, remind him of it -

“I don’t know what to say,” he heard Remus say, and Elías finally turned to him, swallowing at the look of painful empathy on his friend’s face. “Elías, I - I don’t know -”

“You got bitten by a werewolf when you were a kid, this can  _ hardly _ compare, Remus,” Elías whispered, too tired to rub out another onslaught of tears. 

“Don’t - compare,  _ Merlin _ , our experiences are nothing alike,” Remus quickly said, hand moving to touch his arm only to hesitate, and that made Elías hurt a bit more, sniffling. “I wanted to comfort you, ah - bring you some peace. I’m afraid I’ve only made it worse.”

Elías just shook his head, feeling a headache pumping in, hands on his head, wanting these last twelve hours to just disappear. 

“Does anyone else but Dumbledore know of this?” Remus asked him quietly.

“Which part, the sexual assault or the crazy bitch after me?” he asked dryly. Remus winced and Elías choked out, “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“Don’t -” Remus paused, sighing. “Please, don’t censor yourself for my benefit. I want you to be able to… talk to me about this.”

“It’s hard. It’s a hard topic,” Elías murmured, eyes closing. “Gods, I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you all of it, but I’m so fucking  _ scared _ .”

“You don’t have to, right now,” Remus rushed to say, turning fully to Elías, eyes worried. “Listen, I won’t pretend to know what’s going on in your head but I don’t want you to keep it all in and let it stew until you pop, like today.”

“I’ve - things I need to tell you, though,” Elías whispered, turning to Remus, feeling like a miserable wretch. “Things bigger than my fears, than my fucking - call it trauma, whatever. They’re important, Remus but I -” he whined, rubbing his nose furiously.

“You what?” the werewolf quietly asked.

Elías felt his face, his ears burn with shame, the utter selfishness in his body making his knees move up, curling on the corner of the couch, wishing to be tiny and small and inconspicuous for a while.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he confessed with a loud sob, looking at his friend, eyes watery and Remus -

He hugged Elías, pulling him close, the Astronomy professor way too stupid to even think of putting some distance between them both, cut off those singing heartstrings, instead opting to accept the embrace. He felt Remus rubbing his back and he didn’t realize it until now, but he’d  _ missed _ hugs. He hadn’t had many since he’d left Brussels in March.

“We’re friends, Elías,” Remus said firmly, making Elías feel utter  _ relief _ at the statement, wanting to keep those words tucked between his lungs, on the back of his heart, compartmentalized for the days when he felt the most lonely. “You’re not going to lose me over something that’s happened in the past -”

“It’s something that’s happening  _ now _ , that  _ will _ happen -  _ fuck _ , I can’t do it,” Elías cried, clutching at him.

“No, no, listen - you don’t need to tell me. You tell me when you’re ready, alright? No Dumbledore, no Snape, no other opinion involved.  _ You _ decide when to tell me,” Remus sighed. “Alright?”

Elías shut his eyes tightly but nodded against Remus’ shoulder, letting himself cry for a good while against the background of rain and thunder.

It was… it was nice.

He clung a bit, cried a lot, let Remus rub his back and comfort him the way he wanted to be comforted - physically, emotionally, guarding him in a delicate moment. Elías didn’t like to be reminded of how young he was because he  _ always  _ felt how young he was. He knew it, every single day, whenever he didn’t know the answer to a question that a student asked, or when he saw down at the staff table, or when Remus smiled at him and he had to force himself to think about how Remus probably saw himself as a mentor to Elías.

But sometimes… sometimes it was nice to feel small.

Sometimes it was nice to just let go and cry loudly against your friend’s shoulder because you couldn’t know if a child was being abused back at home, because your colleague would never face repercussions for his abusive behavior towards kids, because you couldn’t tell your friend that the murder of his friends probably hadn’t been perpetrated by his childhood love and best friend out of fear of being turned away and rejected as a fraud.

All this frustration led him to this moment, where Elías hiccuped quietly into Remus’ shoulder, feeling not weaker, but stronger for the man sitting on his couch just after two months of knowing him, like the utter lovesick child he was, like the Ravenclaw Fifth Years leaving chocolate boxes on his office desk.

Finally, he pulled back, hand lingering on Remus’ chest, his vision swimming a bit with leftover tears -

Elías’ breath hitched as Remus reached for his face, tenderly brushing with his thumb those strays, catching the air in his lungs with a wide hand, fingers spread, uncaring of the pain it brought him inside. 

“Better?” Remus asked softly.

And Elías, fool that he was, child that he felt, gave a little nod because he  _ did _ feel a bit better, regarding everything else but his feelings for Remus. 

“Yeah,” he rasped.

“Do you feel good enough to go to dinner?” 

Elías shook his head, swallowing. “I’d throw it all up, to be honest. And I’ve got a really big headache.”

“Well, you should drink water. You’ve cried a lot, could be dehydration,” Remus ran his hand through Elías’ hair and the man melted a bit, eyes closing, making Remus smile a bit. “You’re like a cat.”

“It’s my animagus form,” Elías mumbled and Remus paused.

“You’re an animagus?” he asked, surprised.

“Yeah. It’s fun,” he sighed. “I’ll show you sometime, when I’m not - exhausted.”

“Of course, yes,” Remus cleared his throat a bit, ruffled his hair, patting his shoulder. “To bed, alright? Take care of yourself.”

“I’ve class tonight, though,” Elías mumbled. “Can’t sleep too much.”

“Go to bed,” Remus insisted. “I’ll come and wake you up before classes. Would that make sure you rest up?”

Elías ended up nodding, too tired to fight that, standing slowly. “Um… thanks,” he whispered to Remus, eyes meeting greens for a moment before quickly glancing at the carpet. “For everything, Remus.”

“You helped me as well,” the werewolf shrugged. “After the full moon. And didn’t let me push you away. I thought you could use something similar to that.”

“I did. I…” Elías took in a deep breath. “I do.”

He didn’t want Remus to leave, not yet, but he watched him go anyway, waving goodbye before collapsing in bed, feeling a miserable kind of heartbreak, eyes on the storm outside, as windy and violent as his romantic thoughts. He hadn’t had a crush in a while - a long while, in fact. And he didn’t like crushing on men, even if Remus  _ was _ different from the rest of them.

It didn’t matter, though. Remus would never look at him that way. It was just… wishful thinking from his part.

Better to let it fizzle out.


	7. Of Smoking Potions

“Is that a Grindylow?” Elías blinked at the tank, pausing as he entered the classroom only to realize Remus, for once, wasn’t there. “Aw, shit,” he mumbled, closing the door behind him, ready to wait for his friend.

Supposedly, since today was Halloween, there’d be no classes but Remus had told him that he had to prepare a few things for after the holiday. Elías didn’t mind but he’d let Remus know that in any case, he’d keep him some company.

The Spaniard stepped closer to the tank, watching the little green demon, tapping the surface only to watch the creature twist and attack, banging against the glass. He was  _ fascinating _ , he’d loved mercreatures ever since he got sorted into the house buried under the lake. So he grabbed a chair and sat in front of the creature, waiting for Remus, watching it with curiosity.

Just a few minutes later, though, the door opened, Remus’ voice drifting and Elías called over, “You’ve got a  _ Grindylow _ and you didn’t tell me?”

Without blinking, Remus just shut the door behind Harry Potter and threw him an unsurprised look, “You would’ve gotten too excited. Last time the Red Cap nearly bit your fingers off.”

“It looked so  _ cute _ , though!” Elías turned to Potter, giving him a little smile. “Hey, Harry. Everything okay?”

“Hi, Professor Fernández. Everything alright,” he nodded politely, looking a bit awkward, eyes drifting to the demon in the tank. “Uh… Professor Lupin invited me over.”

“Cup of tea, any of you?” Remus asked, disappearing into his office to go get a kettle.

“Green, please!” Elías stood, letting Harry observe the Grindylow as the kid softly agreed, looking like he’d swallowed something sour.

“Sit down,” Remus told Harry gently, the kid moving to get comfortable beside Elías. “I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid - but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?”

Elías pursed his lips, knowing very well how Trewlawney had chosen Harry as her latest case of  _ you’ll die soon _ . It would’ve been funny had it not been for the escape of Sirius from Azkaban and the fact that there were Dementors settled on every Hogwarts exit.

“How did you know about that?” Harry asked quietly, glancing between Elías and Remus, bright hazel eyes shifting.

“Professor McGonagall told me,” said Remus, passing Harry a chipped mug of tea. “You’re not worried, are you?”

“No,” the kid lied, looking at his feet, and Elías took the cup Remus offered and gave his friend a look - he knew Harry liked Remus, liked him and respected him as a teacher. They’d met in the train, Remus had told him everything that had happened and Harry’s natural talent in his subject, while the poor Potter boy struggled to differentiate between planet and satellite.

“Anything worrying you, Harry?” Remus asked softly, Elías staying quiet, merely observing.

“No,” Harry lied. He drank a bit of tea and watched the Grindylow brandishing a fist at him, then turned to Elías, seemingly pondering something, lip between his teeth. Then - “Yes,” he said suddenly, putting his tea down on the desk. “You know that day we fought the Boggart?”

Remus had told Elías that it’d been a dementor, Elías remembered, and he sipped from his cup slowly, watching the exchange.

“Yes,” said the Defense professor slowly.

“Why didn’t you let me fight it?” Harry asked abruptly, the tone of his voice denoting slight offense, an ego hurt. That part Elías hadn’t known.

Remus raised his eyebrows, surprised, watching the teenager with a new look, “I would have thought that was obvious, Harry.”

“Why?” Harry said again, after a second’s pause. He seemed taken aback by Remus’ attitude.

“Well,” Remus began, frowning slightly, “I assumed that if the Boggart faced you, it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort.” 

Elías choked a bit on his teacup, eyes wide, turning to Remus as he easily pronounced that dreaded name with ease in front of Harry. He’d always used the  _ you-know-who _ ’s in front of Elías, but he didn’t even stutter now. Harry seemed just as surprised but Remus just looked at the kid, honest. Harry just stared at Lupin.

“Clearly, I was wrong,” Remus continued, still frowning at Harry. “But I didn’t think it a good idea for Lord Voldemort to materialize in the staffroom. I imagined that people would panic.”

“I didn’t think of Voldemort,” Harry blurted out, almost as if thinking it now, it was logical for him to fear the man. Elías had heard he’d already faced him in his First and Second Year, which was insane. But for him to also just… not even consider him for a Boggart? What a kid. “I - I remembered those Dementors.”

Ah. Of course.

“I see,” Remus replied, nodding. “Well, well… I’m impressed.” He smiled slightly at the look of surprise on Harry’s face. “That suggests that what you fear most of all is - fear. Very wise, Harry.” 

Elías smiled, chin resting over the palm of his hand, watching the exchange with a bit of satisfaction seeping. Harry seemed to be at a loss of words, busying himself by taking a sip of his tea, his cheeks looking a bit darker than the usual.

“So you’ve been thinking that I didn’t believe you capable of fighting the Boggart?” Remus asked, sharply cutting through Harry’s demeanor, serving Elías another cup when he finished his tea. Elías said nothing, just let him refill.

“Well… yeah,” Harry gave him a lopsided little smile, looking in a much better mood than when he’d walked into the classroom. “Professor Lupin, you know the Dementors -”

Harry was cut off by a knock on the door, the three of them looking over as Remus called, “Come in.”

The door opened and in came Elías’ biggest annoyance in the castle, carrying the wolfsbane potion out in the air, like nothing, as if perhaps other smarter students would never recognize the visibly smoking potion. Anger rose in Elías, glaring deeply at him but Remus stayed calm, his hand resting behind Elías so that his arm brushed his back - a warning. Like last week.  _ Don’t let him rile you up _ .

“Ah, Severus,” Remus smiled kindly. “Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?”

Snape set down the smoking goblet, his eyes wandering between Harry, Remus and Elías. Probably his least favorite people gathered in a room. Elías hoped he’d choked on the fumes the Wolfsbane made. The fucker hadn’t even made it the first month, claiming that he hadn’t been in the castle and that transporting it would’ve been a  _ dangerous endeavor _ . But now Remus had been taking it for the entire week - a gobletful a day. Elías was already taking out one of his saved sugar quills for after he drank it.

“I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,” Remus said pleasantly, pointing at the tank.

“Fascinating,” Snape deadpanned, without looking at it. “You should drink that directly, Lupin.”

“Yes, Yes, I will,” Remus smiled again.

“I made an entire cauldronful,” Snape continued, not moving from his spot. “If you need more.”

“I should probably have some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.”

“Not at all,” the bat turned around, giving him a  _ look _ before watching Harry - but to Elías’ relief, the kid showed as much distaste for the man as he himself did. Remus, though, gave Harry a gentle look.

“Professor Snape has very kindly concocted a potion for me,” he began. “I have never been much of a potion-brewer and this one is particularly complex.” 

Maybe if Elías hadn’t spectacularly failed advanced potions in Sixth Year, he would be able to brew it for Remus, and Remus wouldn’t feel in the debt of Snape. Elías just sighed, putting his cup away, watching Remus pick up the goblet and sniff it.

“Pity sugar makes it useless,” he mumbled.

“Stop looking at it, just - swallow it quick. It’s less painful,” Elías chided, speaking for the first time since Harry arrived, almost startling him, by the way Harry turned to look at the Astronomy professor. “I’ve got a sugar quill, just dunk it.”

“I’d vomit,” Remus replied, glancing at his friend.

“Gobble gobble. Up top,” Elías took out the sugar quill. “And this is yours.”

Remus took a sip, shuddering, and Elías just laughed a bit, shaking his head.

“Why -?” Harry began, cutting off at the end, looking hesitant. 

“I’ve been feeling a bit off-color,” Remus said easily, not a lie, not truly. He’d been passing by his Astronomy classes more often, which meant he wasn’t able to sleep. “This potion is the only thing that helps. I am very lucky to be working alongside Professor Snape; there aren’t many wizards who are up to making it.” 

Elías wanted to, though. He didn’t want Snape to have that kind of power over Remus.

“Professor Snape’s very interested in the Dark Arts,” he blurted out, making Elías snort a bit, drawing Harry’s attention but Remus nudged Elías’ foot with his, giving him a look, telling him  _ behave _ .

“Really?” Remus asked, looking only mildly interested as he took another gulp of potion.

“Some people reckon -” Harry hesitated, then plunged recklessly on, “some people reckon he’d do anything to get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job.”

Elías watched Remus drain the goblet and pull a face, not seeming to acknowledge Harry’s worry that Snape would outright poison Remus just to get his job. Elías wanted to chide him, tell him to actually tell the kid that Snape would probably just spread rumors and ruin his reputation.

“Disgusting,” Remus sighed, putting down the goblet, taking the sugar quill Elías had left for him on the desk. “Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work. See you at the feast later.”

“Right,” Harry whispered, putting down his teacup. 

“See you later, Harry,” Elías bid, waving at the kid before he waved back and walked out of the class, quickly turning to Remus. “You said Voldemort!”

“I did,” Remus stuck the tip of the sugary treat into his mouth, wincing. “Taste won’t go away,  _ eugh _ .”

“If you’d finished it quickly, you wouldn’t have the taste linger so much,” he replied, a bit endeared as Remus made faces and furiously ate his sugar quill. “But you’d never said it before, his name. I was under the impression -”

“Kind of did it for you?” he turned to Elías, shrugging. “You’re muggleborn but - usually, even muggleborns will be put off by the name.”

“I think it’s fucking stupid and gives him even more power,” Elías replied. “You can use Voldemort when you’re talking with me.”

“Good to know,” he hummed, nudging his foot again. “Hey - you didn’t say anything to Snape. Thank you.”

“Don’t  _ thank me _ ,” Elías mumbled, looking angry. “He was just waving the potion around the halls, like an absolute  _ idiot _ . He wants you found out.”

“He does,” Remus acknowledged. “But it’s fine, Elías. It’ll be alright, he won’t rat me out. He has a secrecy contract and he won’t tell.”

“I just -” Elías pursed his lips, frowning deeply, cutting himself off with a sad sigh. “I don’t like… that he’s the one brewing it. He has leverage over you and he  _ hates _ you. I don’t like that.”

“Well, he’s the only one who can make the potion,” Remus sighed. “I don’t like it any better than you, Elías, but he’s a great potioneer.”

Elías just sighed, taking the goblet, watching it still smoking, smelling it with a frown. “If I hadn’t failed advanced potions…” he whispered quietly, trailing off.

“You failed?” Remus turned to him, surprised. “Everyone on the staff claimed you were the best of your year at potions and astronomy, though?

“I was, and then I wasn’t,” Elías flushed with embarrassment, his arms crossed over the table, burying his face in them with a groan. “I… it was the year after coming out and the whole fiasco. I wasn’t in a good place, mentally. I really did try but… the things I enjoyed, I didn’t enjoy them anymore. And I barely wanted to get out of bed.”

“You were depressed,” Remus summarized and Elías shrugged.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t a good enough excuse for Snape. He demanded so much in that class and -” he pursed his lips. “He never liked me. He  _ never _ liked me. He put so much pressure on me that year and I just broke under it all. I wanted to be a potioneer, when I was sixteen. I wanted  _ so bad _ to be a potioneer. But I failed. And I didn’t even get to do my potions N.E.W.T..”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said softly, his hand moving to grip Elías’ elbow. “That sounds hard.”

“I ended up doing music, and I enjoy that. And now I’m teaching Astronomy, which is one of the best subjects, so… not too bad, not too shabby,” he joked, giving him a small smile, looking up from his crossed arms. 

Remus smiled back, “You still have to show me how you play, sometime.”

“Yeah, I do, I guess,” Elías laughed, then paused. “Actually - it’s  _ Halloween _ . What are we doing in your class? We should be celebrating!”

“Ah, I don’t - celebrate Halloween,” Remus began, looking a bit shy now, making Elías grin and stand, catching his wrist. “Elías -”

“Then celebrate Samhain with me,” he asked, a bit softer, making Remus pause. “I - there’s a muggle thing - not really, because it’s pagan, it’s witchcraft but the muggle style - it was derived from before the Statute of Secrecy and -”

“It’s the people that practice muggle magic,” Remus finished, giving a small smile. “I remember that. Dorcas - her muggle mother was a witch. A different kind of witch but -”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, giving him a smile. “It’s - different. It’s spiritual, not… like this. Not like the Wizarding world.”

“You’re religious, then?” Remus asked, allowing Elías to pull him out of his chair, out of his class, the younger wizard dragging him through the halls with high spirits. 

“Not - I wouldn’t call it a  _ religion _ , per se. I’m just… a spiritual man,” he shrugged. “I’ve an altar at home, I believe in certain things that don’t fall into any other religion, witchcraft just… fits, you know? And it’s fun, and nice, and I can mix it with the wizarding and magical things I  _ do _ know, such as potion making.”

“How do you celebrate All Hallows, then?” Remus asked curiously.

“Lots of ways!” Elías grinned. “Most important is a good, leisure, nature walk. Witchcraft is closely tied with nature, and it’s good to get some air.”

“Are you sure this is a ritual and not an excuse to get me out of my office?” Remus asked, cocking an eyebrow, and Elías let out a laugh.

“I promise! Come on, we’ll go get our coats and have a nice walk. It’s October! It’s Fall! The leaves are brown, the air is cold, it’s  _ great _ ,” he let go of Remus’ wrist as a few Second Years walked by them, saying hello to the two professors. “Coats. A walk. Then we’ll get to the kitchens and have some cider -”

“And we go to your quarters and you play something for me,” Remus challenged, making Elías hesitate. “Please?”

“Alright, fine,” Elías chuckled. “Okay. I’ll play something for you.”

“Deal, then,” Remus nodded, starting to move to his rooms, giving Elías a little private smile that sent the Spaniard’s heart into overdrive.

Once the two had gotten their coats and scarves in place, they walked into the Hogwarts terrains, seeing nobody except a few students hurrying to Hogsmeade outside, Elías burying his face into his fluffy Slytherin scarf with a little smile, nose already turning red in the cold.

“Oooh, I love this,” he breathed, eyes sparkling. “Barely gets this cold in Cadiz when January rolls around. I love the fog, the cold, the impending snow. It’s so good.”

“Where’s Cadiz, if I may ask?” Remus turned to him, bundled up as well, only his scarf wasn’t as fluffy, more or a ratty little thing that barely covered him. Elías felt himself frown at that and wondered if he could gift Remus a new scarf without him protesting much.

“South of Spain. The lil’ peak,” he replied. “I was born on a beach, practically.”

“How Spanish of you,” Remus chuckled, following the path slowly towards the edge of the lake, Elías following him, wanting to see where he liked to stroll. “You’re used to a hotter climate, then, I suppose.”

“Not really,” Elías laughed. “I like the cold better. I do, though, enjoy my full summers. You’ll never find me in England when summer arrives. My parents come down to Cadiz in the summer, anyway, and I like to enjoy family barbeques.”

“You said you’ve a big family, right?” Remus asked, watching him with a small smile and Elías found himself endeared by the color in his cheeks and nose, blond hair falling over his green eyes. Remus was astoundingly handsome, Gods, it was unfair.

“Yeah,” he smiled softly. “I’m close to my father’s side, though. My cousins and I are super close and we gather every July in San Fernando to have a nice weekend together in a rented home.”

“Wow,” Remus laughed a bit. “That’s amazing - how many of you?”

“Uh, on my father’s side?” Elías paused to think for a moment. “Well, there’s me and my sister. Emilio and Jaime. There’s Fran and Alessandro. Juan, Blanca and Luis. There’s Alba and Pablito. Also Alejandra and Daniel and… yeah, that’s it on my father’s side.”

“ _ Thirteen _ ?” Remus wheezed, eyes like saucers. “ _ Bloody hell _ .”

“We’re all very Fernández,” Elías laughed. “Loud and boisterous and ready to do about anything for each other as much as we love to kill each other.”

“Must be so nice at weddings,” Remus joked a bit, chuckling.

“Well, my cousin Emilio is getting married to Laura this Winter,” Elías smiled. “They’ve been dating for a while and I really like her. I can’t wait to see everyone - aunts and uncles and in-laws.”

“Do they know…?” Remus trailed off.

“That I’m a wizard?  _ Yeah _ ,” he laughed. “Are you kidding? It’s impossible to hide a secret in my family. I tried to hide that I’m trans and the lot of them came barreling to me, demanding I stop hiding as if it was shameful. Showed a lot of support with my depression, too, and my anxiety.”

Remus went quiet, a small smile on his face as the two reached a small path through the trees, ground a bit more moist from the nearby Black Lake. Their steps made beautiful crunching noises as they crushed dead leaves under their soles and Elías felt serotonin run through his veins, a light skip to his step. Talking about his family always put him in a good mood, too, especially his cousins.

“When I was a child -” Remus began, hesitating for a moment before letting the words flow out, strolling slowly, Elías matching his caring pace. “My… family was just mother, father and me. No aunts, no uncles, no cousins. Not even grandparents.”

“Must’ve been lonely,” Elías whispered.

“We moved a lot, when I got bitten,” Remus sighed. “The neighbors would hear me scream and - and my parents were afraid that they’d catch me and do something to harm me. So we frequently changed towns. Then my mother fell ill and… well,” he sighed. “Lost her when I was ten.”

Elías pressed his lips together, watching Remus, “Did you get along with your father?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” Remus’ lips lifted for a moment. “He’s a good man. He felt… guilty about the bite. A comment to a highly dangerous werewolf when he was in custody led to him biting me in retaliation. My father works for the DRCMC .”

“Oh,” he mumbled, eyes wide. “Oh  _ shit _ .”

“Fenrir Greyback bit me when I was five,” Remus explained, wincing a bit. “It was… hard on my family. It changed my father’s views on werewolves, though.”

“He did?” Elías smiled softly.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded, returning the smile, though his was sad. “He’s still fighting for ah, werewolf rights in the Ministry of Magic, I think. I know he’s in good health.”

“Do you not… talk to your father anymore?” Elías asked, confused.

“No, I -” Remus ran a hand through his blond hair, sighing. “No. He’s at peace, living in tranquility in Essex. I couldn’t - I couldn’t disturb that.”

“Remus,” Elías breathed, hands moving to grip his arm, the two professors stopping on the path. “ _ Remus _ -”

“I’m not exactly -” the werewolf gestured with his free hand, refusing to look at Elías. “The greatest son in the world, I know, but my father deserves better, not to worry -”

“He’s your  _ father _ ,” Elías cut in, horrified. “He probably thinks of you every night - Remus, he loves you! Very clearly! If he’s still fighting for werewolf rights at his job, it means he thinks of you everyday!”

“You wouldn’t understand -”

“But I  _ do _ ,” Elías yanked on his arm until Remus looked at him, eyes stormy with emotion. “I know what it’s like for your parent to think something horrible of what you are. I know what it’s like to have to watch them internally fight with that part of themselves while reasoning about how much they love their child. My mother struggled  _ endlessly _ . She cried entire nights, she stopped eating sometimes, she was  _ devastated _ .”

Remus said nothing, just watching him.

“But she  _ loves _ me,” Elías finished. “Because she’s my mother and I’m her child, and unless a parent is a heartless monster, then they deserve to know you’re safe and sound, and happy. You very obviously hold your father in a high place and love him very much. It’d do you both well to talk, to rekindle your relationship.”

“I don’t want to -”

“Hurt him, I know,” Elías swallowed as he noticed Remus breathing a bit harder, closing his eyes. “Oh,  _ buddy _ ,” Elías sighed, moving closer to wrap his arms around Remus’ waist, hugging him tightly. Remus weakly returned it. “Fuck, I know what it’s like. I did it for a while, as well, tried to distance myself from my family. It made everyone feel miserable.”

“I don’t think you understand that this is a  _ curse _ , Elías,” Remus rasped against the top of Elías’ head. “This isn’t - being transgender is  _ nothing _ . You just change your gender. You’re not a threat to society, to your loved ones, isn’t a thing that just goes away if you don’t think about it for too long -”

“You’re not a threat to society,” Elías stated firmly and before Remus could cut in, he continued. “The wolfsbane potion proves it! You’ll be asleep throughout the full moon and that’s  _ it _ ! There’s nothing else! Werewolves should be provided this potion  _ for free _ and given aids against discrimination in the workplace -”

“I can’t have kids,” Remus whispered.

Elías fell quiet, feeling Remus clutching him a bit tighter and Elías rubbed his back gently, swallowing. There were some things that he wouldn’t be able to understand, no matter how similar some of their issues looked - like disabilities or racism. Elías would never understand it, not fully. He could empathize, being part of quite a few minorities, and he empathized a lot. But he had no more words that could help Remus.

“I’m sorry,” Elías murmured. “I can’t understand what it’s like to be a werewolf, Remus. But I promise you that you’re not a danger. And -” he swallowed. “I’ll do what I can to help you, always. So don’t try and push me away like you’ve with your father, alright?”

“I -”

“Remus,” Elías whispered, hugging him tighter. “We’re friends. Please.”

“I’ll… try,” he replied, and Elías stepped back a bit, seeing him shaking a bit. “I can’t promise -”

“Then I’ll have to push, sometimes,” Elías looked him in the eyes, Remus returning the deep stare. 

“We’ve already agreed that’s alright,” Remus told him.

“Then we’re alright,” Elías moved his hand to Remus’ scarf, pulling on it, fixing it with a sigh. “Such an old thing, aren’t you cold?”

“A bit,” Remus let out a small smile. “It’s alright, I’m not the Spaniard.”

Elías laughed, patting his chest when he finished adjusting it. “Okay, okay, we’ll see how you look if you ever come to Cadiz. It’ll be fun watching you melt in the sand.”

“I have  _ never  _ been to the sea,” Remus said, the two starting to resume their stroll again, the heavy blanket of dark emotions lifting as they walked past it.

Elías gasped at that, eyes wide, “What?!”

“I’ve never seen the sea, I’ve never - been in it,” he laughed, watching Elías’ wide, child-like horror at the statement. “I don’t even know what it smells like.”

“This is a crime. That’s a fucking  _ crime _ \- Remus, I’m taking you to the sea,” Elías stated. “When the school year is over - you gotta come a few days to Cadiz. This is final.”

“I don’t even have a place to stay, I can’t really… take a vacation like that to Spain,” Remus said quietly.

“You kidding?” Elías huffed. “You’d stay at my place! It’s a nice house, right in front of the beach! The backyard leads to a little walkway to the beach and since it’s almost in El Puerto de Santa Maria, it basically has no people, because the waves are so small.”

Remus gave a lopsided grin, “Sounds pretty.”

“It  _ is _ pretty. There’s nothing prettier than the sea, not even Hogwarts,” Elías said, chin up, giving Remus a wide smile. “It’s blue, I can swim in it, the salt sticks to your skin, it smells nice, it  _ feels _ nice, swimming is the best sport ever made -”

“What, you weren’t one into Quidditch?” Remus joked.

“Oh, no, I love Quidditch! Flying is fun!” Elías grinned. “I actually was in the Slytherin team, back in uh, Second Year to Fifth Year? I was a beater.”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up, surprised, “A beater.”

“Yeah,” Elías laughed. “Just because I like reading doesn’t mean I don’t like kicking ass, either, Remus. Weren’t you the one warning me not to fall into stereotypes?”

“Alright - alright, yes, I stand guilty,” Remus laughed. “I was… never into Quidditch. I’m not good at flying. I am  _ terrible _ at anything sports like. I have two left feet.”

“Does that mean you don’t dance, either?” Elías blinked at him, startled, and Remus paused for a moment, turning to Elías with a strange look. “What?”

“Do you  _ also _ dance?”

“Not  _ professionally _ ,” Elías quickly said, the two professors finding the edge of the lake, walking alongside it. “I just - music is important to me. I dance a lot to it. Not gracefully, not nicely but like… you dance to music, right?”

“Not… really,” he laughed, watching Elías. “You’re  _ so _ strange.”

“What?!” Elías laughed, shoving him a bit. “How am I strange for dancing to music?! You’re the weird one!”

Remus just laughed, shoving him back a bit, Elías feigning he was about to topple into the lake, and the two joked and talked about anything and everything - little childhood tidbits shared between friends, one notable O.W.L. where a question was how to spot a werewolf or that one time that Elías sneaked into the library after curfew and fell asleep reading in the forbidden section, earning him almost a month of detention.

The two were shaking a bit from the cold as they came back into the castle, a mass of students returning from the trip to Hogsmeade, and Elías gave Remus a quick warm-up charm before some students walked over to them, eyes on Remus.

“Professor Lupin!” a Third Year girl, Ms Brown, followed by Harry Potter’s friends and a few others quickly stopped in front of the two professors. “Hi, Mr Fernández!”

“Miss Brown,” he nodded at her.

“Is everything okay?” Remus asked, concerned.

“We were just at Hogsmeade!” she explained, and Ms Patil nodded next to her, both putting their heads close together. “And went to see the Shrieking Shack at a distance!”

“Oh, did you?” Remus let out a little smile, Elías covering his with his own scarf, chuckling. “Was it scary?”

“So scary!” Ms Patil gushed, eyes bright, their friends also stopping in front of them both.

“It wasn’t  _ that _ scary,” Hermione spoke, making Lavender roll her eyes.

“We didn’t hear any shrieks, at least,” Longbottom pointed out, just a pair of eyes over his large scarf and coat. “A-are we going to?”

“You’re asking me if the stories are real?” Remus laughed a bit, turning to his colleague beside him with a little mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “I don’t know… Do you believe the stories, Elías? That there are ghosts trapped within the walls?”

“Oh, I do,” Elías nodded along, adopting a serious look, eyes on the kids as they all gathered closer around the two professors. “Don’t you know the story of the Shrieking Shack?”

Lavender and Parvati gasped, both looking at each other. Dean Thomas looked as interested as Ron and the girls, but Longbottom seemed mildly scared and Hermione was just purely annoyed. 

“There’s a story?!” Lavender asked.

“I read this one, in passing, on the history of Hogsmeade,” Elías said dramatically, having way too much fun, Remus trying to hold his laughter back. “Back before the house was abandoned, there lived a family of three - the mother, the father, and the daughter. They were very loving and doting parents, both wizards, and their little girl turned out to be a squib - they didn’t mind at all! They loved her with their entire hearts. Unfortunately,” he added, leaning down a bit, watching the children all enraptured. “The mother passed away. The father, saddened and crushed by the loss, married a rich woman who could act as a mother to his daughter. But poor soul, he never realized that she was slowly poisoning him.”

“No way!” Lavender whispered, eyes wide, Remus’ hand holding onto the back of his coat, squeezing as he tried not to laugh hard. Elías held in his laughter, too.

“Yes! The father passed away and, with the daughter at her mercy, the woman decided to leave - and just in case the daughter tried to escape and tell the villagers what happened, she trapped her… in the walls!”

Longbottom whined, moving closer to Hermione, who whispered, “It’s not real!”

“Shhh!” Parvati threw at her. 

“Story goes - she is still trapped in the Shrieking Shack, screaming for others to help her, to get her out, free her… so that she may mourn her family and tell the villagers of Hogsmeade the truth,” Elías drew back a bit, completely serious as the Gryffindors all watched each other with wide eyes - except Hermione, of course, whom Elías winked at. She suddenly seemed to understand that it was a joke and she huffed, giving him an eye roll. “Tonight… is Halloween. When the veil is mostly broken between the spirit world and the material world.”

He looked over in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, just to be dramatic, cocking an eyebrow at the little group in front of them.

“It’d do you well to be careful tonight.”

For a moment, there was silence among the friends, Remus and Elías able to maintain a serious look when -

“I never knew the story!” Mr Thomas burst out, looking around. “I have to tell Seamus!”

“Wait for us!” Parvati called as he ran off into the castle, Ron and Hermione walking beside Neville through the path.

“Come on, Neville, the ghosts can’t hurt us!” Ron encouraged, an arm thrown around his shoulders. “We’re safe at Hogwarts!”

“Are you sure?” the boy whined.

“It’s just a legend, Neville,” Hermione assured.

As they walked away, Remus finally burst out laughing and Elías doubled over, shaking his head, turning to the werewolf, “Was  _ this _ the type of fun you and your friends had over the Shrieking Shack?!”

“Oh,  _ Merlin _ , that was  _ brilliant _ ,” he laughed, knocking his shoulder with Elías’ as they both entered the castle, grinning so wide that Elías felt his heart skip a bit, cheeks flushing a bit. “Did you just make that up on the spot?”

“Not the most compelling story, I know, but I mean, I’m not  _ that _ bad at improv,” he smirked a bit at Remus.

“I loved that, those three are going to spread that story around - it’s  _ Halloween _ , everyone will link the Shack to yet another thing that has nothing to do with me,” Remus whispered to him, smiling at Elías. “Thank you.”

“It was fun,” was all Elías said, giving him a brilliant smile back.

The two said not much else as they both started to move to the Great Hall for dinner, following the students.

“Are we still on for cider later?” Elías asked Remus before they reached the table.

“Oh - for sure,” Remus nodded, laughing. “And don’t forget some music.”

“Right, right, I’ll give my greatest concert,” Elías laughed, rolling his eyes, settling on his chair with a little grin before realizing the feast wouldn’t start until Dumbledore came in. His eyes moved to the Gryffindor table and he soon saw Lavender talking to a bunch of other kids, everyone listening to her retelling of the story of the Shrieking Shack.

Elías looked over the Great Hall, smiling widely at the arrangement of candle-lit pumpkins, the little bats flying about, the low lights and the little cobwebs. The ghosts were out and about, talking to the children, and he felt himself sigh a bit.

“I should’ve worn something nicer,” he murmured, making Pomona turn to him.

“Oh, but you always look so nice, laddie!” she remarked, making him smile. “So - so southern European!”

“Mediterranean, yes,” he laughed. “Perhaps too many button-ups.”

“They suit you,” she told him, earnest, pulling on his heartstrings.

“Thank you, Pomona. I think you’re the height of witch fashion, I’ll let you know,” he grinned at her, making her cheeks tint pink, the older woman slapping his shoulder.

“Oh, you!” she laughed.

“Absolutely beautiful,” he continued. “But you do look nice tonight, Pomona, purple suits you.”

“Thank you,” she seemed genuinely moved by the compliment and when Elías turned away from her, he found Remus looking at his ratty, old sweater, almost sheepish. Elías felt a pang of guilt, with all his nice clothes and the commodities he had -

Maybe he could give Remus something nice. A new jumper, a new scarf? An endless supply of chocolate frogs? 

He did, he had to admit, really like the sweaters Remus wore, though. Always a crisp white shirt underneath, the jumper in place, his shoes as shiny as he could get them. He obviously cared about how he appeared but… if he hadn’t been able to get a job because of his lycanthropy...

Now he  _ did _ have a job, though. Why didn’t he buy himself something n -

Unless he was scared that he’d lose the job.

Elías suddenly realized it, the way he’d acted this morning when Elías had warned him that Snape was trying to expose his secret, to get him fired. Remus  _ knew _ . And Remus thought he’d be fired at some point due to his illness and the mere thought of it sent Elías into mild anxiety - what  _ if _ people did find out, and parents sent outraged letters to the school? What if Dumbledore was forced to get rid of Remus and he was back again into an unforgiving world to those suffering lycanthropy? 

“Are you alright?” Remus asked him, making Elías realize that he’d been gripping his napkin too tightly, knuckles white. 

“I’m okay,” he breathed out, looking at him. “Sorry, just… thinking of some serious stuff.”

“Would you like to talk about it later over cider?” he asked, seeming a bit worried.

“Maybe,” Elías sighed, shrugging one shoulder. “It’s honestly just my anxiety spiking up, nothing to worry about.”

“Do you take medication for it?” he asked casually and Elías shook his head. “Is it bad enough to need to take medication for it?”

“That’s a very good question,” Elías gave a little surprised laugh. “Maybe one day I’ll know the answer to that.”

“Elías,” Remus chastised but before they could keep talking, Dumbledore stood from his seat and walked to the podium, starting to deliver the Halloween feast speech. Elías felt Remus’ breath in his ear, then, almost making him jump out of his skin when the professor kept talking in a whisper. “We’re not doing talking about this.”

“My anxiety is manageable,” Elías whispered back to him, the two leaning close to each other. “Lived with it for a long time, I can control it just fine.”

“I trust you, Elías, and I want to believe that,” Remus murmured. “But what you just said -”

“Oh, stop it, I’ll stab you with my fork,” Elías threatened. “It was a joke, alright?”

“You sure?”

Elías huffed quietly, turning to him only to find worry on Remus’ face, making him deflate. He only wanted to help, he was only worried. It wasn’t being patronizing.

“I’m sure, Remus,” he whispered.

The werewolf simply nodded and leaned away comfortably in his seat, the feast appearing in front of their very eyes and only then did Elías notice how hungry he was. The staff table dug in, and at first everyone simply enjoyed dinner before Flitwick turned to Elías, giving him a little grin.

“So, very soon the choir kids will start practicing for the Christmas feast and well, I think it’d do them well to listen to some muggle Christmas songs! I unfortunately don’t know any,” he looked at Elías from over his glasses, the Spaniard caught in his turkey leg with wide eyes. “Perhaps you could help me, Elías? If you’d be so kind?”

“I -” he began, trying to politely dismiss him when Remus interrupted.

“That’s a very good idea, Filius,” Remus pointed out, and Elías whipped around to stare at the professor who had just betrayed him. “It’d be nice, right, Elías?”

“You’re dead,” he mouthed at him but Remus was grinning and Hagrid was piping in.

“Yeah! It’d be nice to hear you sing, Elías!”

“I don’t - sing anymore -” he said, a bit desperately.

“Then just come and play the piano or guitar, lad!” Flitwick insisted. “You skipped out on the first meeting, please just give one of them a chance?”

“Just one,” Remus pointed out, making Elías purse his lips.

“I could be horrible, for all you’d know,” he told Remus, eyes narrowed. “You’ve never heard me sing or play.”

“I’m  _ hoping  _ to,” he laughed, grinning at him. “Everyone wants to hear you.”

“You’re on thin ice, Lupin,” Elías pointed out, wielding his fork, dirty with sauce, and he began to move it closer to Remus’ face, making him lean back, exaggerated, a few of their colleagues chuckling. “Fine! Fine, I’ll go. I’ll sing and play. And then all of you can leave me alone to sing and play for myself!”

The staff table took it lightly, merely smiling at Elías before conversation went back to normal and as the desserts came to life on the table, Remus nudged at him.

“When was the last time you played for someone else?” he asked.

“Uh, I think when… I left Brussels in March?” he narrowed his eyes, thinking hard as he spotted a cup of tiramisu, eyes lighting up at the sight, quickly reaching for it. “I played with my dad some guitar on a family dinner.”

“Your dad plays as well?” he asked.

“My dad  _ taught _ me guitar,” Elías explained, smiling at him. “He’s much better than me. He is self-taught, though. Also plays ukulele, which is the happiest instrument in the world.”

“Is it?” he chuckled.

“Yes, and I’ve one in my rooms. I’ll show you later,” he waved his hand at Remus when he suddenly heard McGonagall choking, turning to her as Dumbledore patted her back, a small smile on his face. “Everything alright?” Elías asked her.

“Yes, yes, dear,” she rasped, hand on her chest. “Just - went the wrong way, is all.”

Pomona’s eyebrows were lifted and she laughed into her hand. Elías probably missed something someone said.

“Do you play any instrument?” Elías asked when suddenly, Filch came rapidly into the Great Hall, the few students that were still at the tables watching him with surprise.

Dumbledore stood, walking down the Great Hall as Filch called, “There’s been an attack on the Fat Lady!”

Remus’ face went white and Elías froze, watching Dumbledore and McGonagall both rush out of the Great Hall to the Gryffindor Tower, and Elías  _ immediately _ followed, his heart in his throat, Remus right behind him and Snape right after.

The Fat Lady had vanished from her portrait that lead into the Gryffindor common rooms, which had been slashed so viciously that strips of canvas littered the floor; great chunks of it had been torn away completely and Elías felt his breath catch, looking at the students gathered around.

“Is everyone okay?!” he asked, gripping the shoulder of Percy Weasley, who was stunned to the spot. “Mr Weasley -”

“Nobody’s hurt, we just came here and… it was like this,” he explained.

Dumbledore took one quick look at the ruined painting and turned, his eyes somber, to see Professors McGonagall, Remus, Elías, and Snape beside him.

“We need to find her,” said Dumbledore, voice serious. “Professor McGonagall, please go to Mr. Filch at once and tell him to search every painting in the castle for the Fat Lady.” 

“You’ll be lucky!” the annoying, cackling voice of Peeves the Poltergeist called, making everyone turn to him. He was bobbing over the crowd and looking delighted, as he always did, at the sight of wreckage or worry. 

“What do you mean, Peeves?” said Dumbledore calmly, and Peeves’s grin faded a little.

“Ashamed, Your Headship, sir. Doesn’t want to be seen. She’s a horrible mess. Saw her

running through the landscape up on the fourth floor, sir, dodging between the trees. Crying

something dreadful. Poor thing.” he added unconvincingly, still laughing.

“Did she say who did it?” asked Dumbledore quietly.

“Oh yes, Professorhead,” said Peeves, with the air of one cradling a large bombshell in his arms. “He got very angry when she wouldn’t let him in, you see. Nasty temper he’s got.”

“Who, Peeves?” McGonagall forced and Elías knew who it was before he said it.

“Sirius Black.”


	8. It's Music

The professors were mobilized first.

Dumbledore was at the head, the staff following after him but Elías had  _ tunnel vision _ . He had to find him. He had to find Sirius, he had to ask him, he had to clear everything up, he’d given it so much thought, he’d gone over the details in his head one night after the other and it still  _ didn’t make sense _ .

Why would he betray the Potters?

“Minerva, take the ground floor,” Dumbledore began. “Severus, the dungeons. Filius, I need you on the first floor and Septima on the second floor. Pomona, the third is yours. Fourth, Remus,” Dumbledore assigned and the adults walked off to start searching, Elías watching Remus’ pale face as he headed for the stairs. “Charity, the fifth. Hagrid, the outside is yours. Be careful of the dementors.”

“Aye, sir,” he nodded.

“Sybill, take the Divination tower,” he told the owl-eyed woman, who nodded and walked off. “Poppy, take the sixth floor, I’ll take the seventh. Rolanda, check the Owlery. And Elías -”

“Astronomy tower,” he nodded, but didn’t walk away as everyone else left. “Headmaster -”

“Elías, go to the Astronomy tower,” Dumbledore directed and Elías desperately grasped his arm. “Mr Fernández -”

“He’s  _ innocent _ ,” he begged, eyes wide. “If you find him, please, Headmaster, just - just let me have a few minutes with him, we could clear up so much -”

“He attacked the Fat Lady, Elías,” Dumbledore’s eyes were serious. “Be on your guard. Please. I do not want you hurt because you strive to believe there’s good in everything.”

With that, he walked away, leaving Elías to frantically roam the tower where he mostly resided, heart in his throat.

* * *

The Fat Lady was found on the second floor, hiding in a map of Argyllshire. She’d refused Sirius Black entry and, in a fit of rage, the man had ripped apart her portrait. There was no sign of Black anywhere in the castle and, by the time the clock hit two in the morning, Dumbledore called the search off, walking into the Great Hall to check on the sleeping students.

Elías, on the other hand, looked around for Remus, asking McGonagall if she’d seen him and she replied that he’d been looking for Elías as well, making him worry. Was Remus okay? Had he encountered Black? Had anything happened?

“I think he went to the Astronomy Tower,” Minerva told him in a whisper as the other professors filtered out, ready to go to bed. “He looked worried. Are you alright, Elías?”

“Just shaken up,” Elías breathed, rubbing his arms, the cold seeping in at such an early hour, decided to go search for Remus all night if he must. The castle was big. “I’m worried about Remus, though. This… this is probably hitting close for him.”

“I’m sure,” Minerva sighed, hand patting his back. “You two seem to have gotten close these months.”

“He’s a good friend,” Elías nodded, giving her a light, tired smile. “Would you believe that? Me? Finally making friends at Hogwarts? It’s everything you wanted, huh?”

McGonagall chuckled, watching him with a bit of fondness, “A bit later than I thought, but yes.”

“Goodnight, Minerva,” he murmured, giving her one last smile before walking off towards the Astronomy Tower.

He climbed the stairs in twos, a million questions in his head, and he was about to reach his own rooms when Remus came down from the top of the tower, the two meeting in the middle.

“Remus,” he breathed, rushing up, seeing him look almost dizzy.

“Did - did you find -”

“No, nobody found him,” Elías replied, hand moving to Remus’ shaking one, finding him freezing. “What -”

“I was… up there,” he almost slurred, eyes distant. “I was looking for you but I… I didn’t know - I thought I’d find you there.”

“You need something warm to drink. And to sit,” Elías stated, guiding him down to his own rooms, finding his quarters warm thanks to the fireplace.

Remus was shaking hard and now that Elías looked at him, he was mildly soaked by rain. The Spaniard quickly pushed him to sit on the couch, moving it closer to the fire with a wave of his wand, magicking a big mug on top of the coffee table and filling it with steaming water. He dropped a bag of tea on it and took the nearest blanket he saw, wrestling Remus out of his soaked sweater, leaving him in a mostly dry once-white shirt.

He threw the blanket around him and Remus made no other noise, watching the fire, looking lost in thought. His hands weren’t trembling as much but Elías handed him the mug anyway, dropping a big spoonful of honey in it.

“There you go,” he said softly, sitting on the coffee table to face him. “Drink up.”

Remus startled, blinking for a moment before looking down at the mug, surprised to see it. He drank without really thinking, automatic, almost like a robot, and Elías watched him with increasing worry, knees spread and elbows resting on his thighs.

“How are you feeling?” Elías finally asked, softly, watching Remus try and take some of the warmth from the tea mug he’d been handed. 

“Cold,” he confessed quietly and Elías took out his wand again, about to put a warming charm on him when Remus lifted his hand, gripping Elías’ wrist. “...not that kind of cold.”

Elías watched him, impossibly worried as Remus put the mug on the side of the coffee table and, slowly, curled down until his head was pressed to Elías’ thigh, shoulders shaking.

Immediately, Elías wrapped himself around his friend, eyes wide, feeling Remus’ vulnerability between his fingers, handed over with a silent  _ please _ . He cradled it gently, tucked it against his heart, head Remus frantically trying to get past a panic attack with the knowledge that he himself knew of Sirius’ innocence. Potential innocence.

Gods, he had to tell Remus.

“Breathe -  _ breathe _ -” he commanded softly, his voice gently, running his nails through Remus’ scalp to calm him down, but Remus shuddered and choked. “It’s okay - it’s gonna be alright, Remus, you just need to breathe. Eight seconds, remember?”

The trembling werewolf nodded against his lap, arms around Elías’ calf, whimpering for a moment before breathing in and Elías helped him by counting aloud, petting his hair continuously. It didn’t help that in five days he’d be plunged under a full moon. The counting did seem to help him, though, and Elías did not stop, seeing Remus slowly relaxing against his lap.

It was almost half an hour later when Elías realized that Remus was a melty little puddle against him, hands not gripping but just… holding onto his leg and body rid of all tension, breathing calmly. Elías pushed some of his blond hair out of his face and whispered, “Do you want to lay on your back on the couch?”

Remus tensed for just a second, seeming to burrow a bit into Elías and the Spaniard hurriedly added, “I’ll sit there as well, you can rest your head on my thigh.”

Remus visibly recoiled at that, sitting up, his cheeks a blotchy, embarrassed red as he ran his hands through his hair frantically, eyes red and puffy. It was horribly inappropriate of Elías, but the wizard couldn’t help but think of how utterly  _ gorgeous _ he was. Without his sweater, with the shirt collar a bit open, looking flustered and unkept, emotions rolling off him - Remus was astonishingly beautiful. And Elías was a bit tired of trying to keep all these positive feelings for Remus at bay.

Like alright, he had a crush on Remus because Remus was a good man who was actually a good friend to him. It didn’t matter if he didn’t return his feelings or couldn’t or any of that bullshit - he’d just take things as they were. There was no reason to be ashamed, of  _ course _ he liked Remus. Who wouldn’t?

“I don’t -” Remus cut himself off with a sigh, making Elías lean forward to hear him better. “That was embarrassing, I don’t… want to cry all over your lap.”

“I mean, you  _ can _ if you want to,” Elías frowned, hand moving to hold one of Remus’, finding them still cold. His wand - he’d placed it on the side, though, and he wasn’t about to move, so he gently took Remus’ other hand and began to warm them up with a few breaths and rubs of his own palms. Remus watched him, struggling, very obviously wanting comfort and not letting himself have it out of some ungodly fucking reason. “Remus,” he murmured to his friend, watching him with caring eyes. “Remus, you can take some comfort if you need it. I am not uncomfortable. Everyone needs physical comfort, from time to time. It’s okay to want it.”

“Are you alright with it, though? Are you  _ sure  _ -”

“Oh, please,” Elías stood, Remus’ head tilting up to see him moving to the other end of the couch, sitting comfortably, patting his lap. “Head here. Go on.”

Remus didn’t move, watching him, hand rubbing his nose. He opened his mouth, already shaking his head but Elías moved closer, hand running through Remus’ hair, making his eyes close with soft, innocent pleasure.

“You Brits will kill me,” Elías sighed, manhandling Remus a little until he was lying on his back, head resting on Elías’ thigh, softly adjusting the knitted blanket over him. “It’s been a weird fucking night. And you’re exhausted, Remus. Stop fighting me for once.”

“I don’t want to  _ fight _ you,” he croaked. “You’re just…”

“What?” Elías pet his hair, watching his eyes almost roll back before they closed. The guy was touch-starved, of course he was, distancing himself away from absolutely everyone he’d ever loved. Thirty-three and absolutely alone - not anymore, though. Elías let his fingers run through his scalp, feeling how Remus steadily sunk into the couch, into Elías, breathing out shakily. 

“... you make me want to tell you things,” Remus finally murmured, eyes opening, and Elías found them an impossible green - the color of that silk dress his mother had worn when he was fifteen, stumbling out of church and telling her that he wanted to be a boy. The comparison made him just stare, feeling his chest cave in with an emotion that he couldn’t describe as negative or positive. “You make me - I trust you. I’ve trusted you for weeks now, for some… strange reason. It comes naturally. You’re open, you’re telling me such private things about yourself, you make me… laugh. You -” he let out a shaky breath, eyes brimming with tears again. “Last time I had friends, they all died. I don’t want you to die.”

“ _ Remus _ ,” he breathed, his own eyes burning. “Oh, Remus, no,  _ no _ , honey,  _ no _ …” Elías pet his hair a bit faster, patting his scarred cheek. “I’m not dying, I’m not going anywhere. We’re all safe here -”

“Sirius came here,” Remus swallowed. “I came back and didn’t see you and thought perhaps that he - that he’d taken another thing -”

“Remus -”

“That he’d killed yet another person whom I was willing to open up to, someone who didn’t care about the fucking bite, and I was panicking a-and -”

“I’m not going  _ anywhere _ ,” Elías said, thumbs working on brushing his tears away. “Remus, you’re not going to be alone again, okay? Not - not even if you leave Hogwarts, or if I leave Hogwarts. I’m not going to disappear if we don’t work at the same place. Alright? I’ll send you letters, I’ll invite you to see the sea - I’m gonna get you to see the ocean, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied, sniffling softly, looking so vulnerable and delicate, pushing into touch, his scars shining. “Alright, okay.”

“It’s okay to seek comfort after such a disturbing thing, Remus,” Elías reassured him yet again, arms moving around his shoulders and hugging him tightly, Remus’ own arms around him. “Gods, you’ve been lonely for such a long time. Don’t  _ ever _ be afraid to ask for comfort from me, Remus. Physical or - or mental or spiritual or whatever. I don’t care about what’s proper or not, I just care about your health, okay?”

“Okay,” he repeated, voice a bit nasal.

When they finally pulled apart, Remus sighed deeply, a tired sound, rubbing his face as Elías rubbed his own eyes. Cracking an eye open, Remus and Elías stared at each other for a second before the two laughed a bit at the sheer ridiculous picture they both made, the older wizard sitting up, shaking his head as he finally turned to face Elías.

“We’re a  _ proper _ mess, aren’t we?” Remus laughed.

“Gods, for sure,” Elías chuckled, sniffling himself, watching him. “Do you want some cider? I could use some cider.”

“Anything with alcohol is welcome right now - at least we got the emotional part out,” Remus mumbled and Elías snorted as he stood, moving where he’d been preparing the drinks for Samhain. He hadn’t expected anyone to join, so he hadn’t made much, but it was good enough for a glass or two each. “Since you’ve been so good tonight -”

“Ex _ cuse _ me?” Remus laughed incredulously, watching Elías with an arm thrown over the back of the couch. “Are you patronizing me?”

“Me?” Elías gasped, hand over his chest. “You wound me.”

Remus shook his head, grinning a bit, and the sight of his lighter mood did make Elías feel much better.

“Since I’ve been so good… what?” Remus prompted as Elías handed him the glass of warm cider, cinnamon and clove wafting to him sharply and he inhaled. “Whoa.”

“I know,” Elías grinned. “And since you’ve been so good, I’m willing to play a song for you tonight. Pick an instrument.”

“Oh, really?” Remus perked up, sitting up a bit before looking around the lounging area, finding all of his instruments around the corner, along with his recording gadgets. “Merlin, you’ve so many…” he slowly took a sip of his drink and then coughed. “Oh, that’s - that’s uh, filled, huh?”

“I like my alcoholic drinks,” Elías cocked an eyebrow, sipping his own. “If you don’t like it-”

“It’s good, just wasn’t expecting it,” Remus chuckled, taking a long sip before nudging their knees together. “What’s your favorite?”

“Drink?” Elías asked, confused.

“No, instrument,” he nodded towards his babies propped against the wall. 

“Ah - guitar,” Elías easily replied, smiling. “Not the first instrument I learned, but the one that let me play and sing at the same time. I learned the clarinet first, still know the basics but - guitar is my absolute favorite.”

“Play me something?” Remus asked, cocking his head a bit, sending him a hopeful smile and it wasn’t  _ fair _ that he was still looking good after being an emotional wreck. Elías always looked like he’d been run over by a thestral. 

“Alright,” Elías chuckled a bit, leaving his cider on the coffee table before walking over to take his guitar - he had other two back at home, an electric and the classic spanish guitar that his father had had since his dad began to play. It was so old, it couldn’t be played, but Elías had it displayed on the wall. He picked the classic acoustic, burnished in black, and sat down on the couch in front of Remus, playing a few strings. “Needs tuning, hold on -”

He left the guitar there and grabbed a tuner, sitting back down to start tuning it with expertise. Remus watched him, looking a bit fascinated, and Elías told him that he could refill his cider if he wanted. Remus complied, giving him a sheepish look that Elías just smiled at, and pushed his back against the armrest of the couch, curled up in Elías’ knitted blanket.

“Alright, all good,” Elías sighed, taking the capo and setting it on the third fret, then choosing the second, playing a few notes, forgoing the picks he’d left sitting on the coffee table in various colors and sizes. “All good. Any requests?”

“Just…” Remus shrugged, looking excited. “Play.”

“Do you have a favorite genre?” Elías questioned.

“Uh - no, I’m not… I don’t really listen to music that much,” he confessed.

“A crime - war crime, in fact. You’re going to stupid jail, Mr Lupin,” Elías pointed at him, finishing his glass of cider. “Just tell me the kind of song you wanna hear?”

“I don’t know,” Remus murmured, watching the guitar, then breathing in. “Play… play something that you feel? A song that speaks out to you.”

“Okay,” Elías nodded, smiling softly. “I - I think I’ve a good one, for right now.”

He only hoped Remus didn’t ask for the artist, since he had no idea who it was - it was one of the songs that had come in one of his Sights, and he reached for his wand and kept it close so he could do the other instruments while only using voice and guitar.

“I - I do a little thing, okay?” he warned before starting to play, watching Remus a little nervously. “It’s - a bit of experimental magic, if you’d call it that. It’s sound manipulation and it’s a bit wobbly right now, I don’t have the full hang of it. So if it sounds weird, do let me know.”

“A-alright?” Remus blinked, now looking  _ very _ eager.

Elías nodded, taking a deep breath before starting with simple plucks of the string, tuning his ear in for the tone before starting to sing.

“ _Oh, hey,_ _I had a night I had a day, I did one million stupid things, I said one billion foolish things, I'm not okay_ ,” he sang strongly, his accent showing a little bit more as he sang, eyes focused on the guitar, on the fret board so he wouldn’t misplace his fingers. “ _I got a baseball bat beside my bed, the fight I fought inside my head, the fight I fought behind my meds. I'm lonely, lost in pain…_ ”

He paused for a moment, then started the chorus, still with only the guitar and his voice, “ _ It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay. You're not a monster, just a human, that you made of your mistakes. It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay. You're not grouse, I'm just human, that you made of your mistakes. It's alright - _ ”

The drums kicked in and Remus jumped in his seat, eyes wide, looking around for a moment before he realized that Elías was manifesting the sound of the drums through his magic, jaw dropping a little, but Elías just focused on his guitar, not noticing Remus’ reaction - not really wanting to know until the song was over.

_ “Oooh… It's okay, ooooh. _ ” he sang easily as the cymbals hissed to the rhythm of his foot against the couch, propped under his knee, under the guitar. “ _ Goddamn! I've thrown a brick right through the window, my life ignored the signals, I am high and drunk on ego - Can't see straight. So I just feel my way around man, I am touching, I am grabbing, everything I can't be havin' - I am broken down in shame… _ ”

The music picked up around Remus and Elías as the chorus repeated and Elías bumped the box of the guitar with his first while he played, every trick his father had taught him showing through the notes of this song that brought him quite a lot of memories of worse times made slightly better times. 

“ _ It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay. You're not a demon, there's a reason you're behaving that way - It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay and I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day. It's alright, oh - It's okay, oh - It's alright, ooooh... _ ”

He played passionately, and he meant every word he said, and he hoped Remus was truly listening, because this song was for Remus as well. Then came the bridge and Elías looked up at him, a bit caught off-guard at the intense stare Remus engaged him with.

“ _ I don't wanna know who I am, _ ” he sang, hands still, everything but the guitar still playing, his song reverberating through the room. “ _ 'Cause heaven only knows what I’d find. I don't wanna know I'm not capable of coming out alive. I don't wanna see what's inside. I think that I would rather be blind. I don't wanna know I'm not capable, I'm capable - _ ”

The rest of the instruments came to a stop and he played the first strings again, “ _ I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm okay - I'm not a monster, I'm a human and I made a few mistakes. I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm okay. I'm not grouse, I'm just human, and I made a few…” _

Everything swallowed in right then, drowning out the sound of the rain, instruments playing with Elías - invisible instruments, instruments not in the room but his wand felt warm against Elías’ thigh as he finished with one last chorus. 

“ _ It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay! You're not a demon, there's a reason you're behaving that way! It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay - And I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day - It's alright! Oooh! It's okay! Oooh! It's alright! Ooooh - and I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day - _ ”

He stopped the guitar, the instruments ceased and he whispered, “ _ It's alright. _ ” one last time, shaky hands lowering from the strings, swallowing as he waited judgment from Remus, who was wide-eyed and still clutching his half-drunk glass of cider.

Elías felt sudden embarrassment and awkwardness take over him and he gave an anxious little laugh, rubbing his nose, shrugging as he put his guitar away, taking off the capo.

“It’s - I don’t really perform, it’s not my thing - I once wanted to be a musician but I’m not really made for that, I studied it because I enjoyed -”

“Elías,” Remus cut in, making Elías turn sharply to him, finding Remus sitting much closer, his hand moving to the professor’s shoulder. Elías felt the warmth of his hand and he stood still, watching, waiting for the verdict. “Elías, I loved it,” Remus said, earnest, his eyes soft and kind and green, the type of green of dried grass during the summer, a bit yellowing. “That was  _ incredible _ . How - how did you make it all sound -”

“Sometimes a song comes to mind,” he blurted out. “And - and I can’t really - I don’t know how to write it down? For a song? So I play it and then… repeat it with my instruments. Sometimes my record player won’t work here, either, so… I just use my magic.”

“That’s  _ brilliant _ , though,” he laughed, incredulous, watching him with such a bright look in his eyes that Elías began to slowly believe Remus was actually impressed. “You - since when do you do that? When did you start?

“Oh, um… I dunno,” he shrugged a bit, giggling nervously. “Since I came to Hogwarts, I think. At first I couldn’t - I couldn’t think of multiple instruments at once but I did it so often that now it’s much, much easier. I also needed to be yielding my wand but now I just need to be closer to it.”

“ _ Fascinating _ ,” Remus sat back, his academic side shining through and Elías served himself another glass of cider, hiding on his cup. “Truly, I - oh, but you were so good, too! Your voice - your voice is good, Elías,” he said softly. “Don’t know why you say you don’t sing.”

“I know my voice is  _ fine _ . It’s not above average, though, that’s what I meant,” he defended, frowning. “I’ve studied music, Remus, I know what sounds  _ fine _ and what sounds  _ truly good _ .”

“Well, you said it yourself, didn’t you?” Remus reached out and touched Elías’ nose with his index, smiling at him. “You no longer want to be a professional. So why not… just be happy with being fine?”

Elías stayed quiet, staring at Remus, his surprise palpable.

“Flitwick has obvious admiration for the musical work you do,” Remus continued. “He just  _ really _ wants you to talk to those kids about music, Elías. And maybe it’s not because you’re really good at music - maybe it’s because whenever you talk about the things that you love, you pull everyone in. Like your family, or the sea, or music, or spiritual work.”

Elías didn’t say anything, shifting uncomfortably in his seat but Remus’ smile didn’t leave his face, simply pulling away, finishing off the last glass of cider and setting it away.

“I was right,” he stated.

“About what?” Elías asked a bit meekly.

“I did like to hear you play,” he told Elías and the Spaniard couldn’t help the happy, proud smile that took over his features. “Promise me you’ll play more often?”

“If you want,” Elías laughed a bit, incredulously happy. “I’d love to. I’d - I’d really love to.”

“Well,” Remus looked at the empty glasses of cider and then at the window, still displaying the deep night of four in the morning. “What the hell -” he laughed. “I wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway - let’s hear another.”


	9. Teens and Leaves

“Alright, alright,” Remus laughed, the morning sun shining through Elías’ window, covering the room in a soft orange glow that made everything look a bit more fuzzy. “But listen, if Filch  _ did  _ get into a fight, he’d just - he’d go all out. Have you ever seen him clean bathrooms? He’s terrifying wielding a broom.”

“No, noooo,” Elías giggled into the back of his hand, no longer drunk but still having way too much fun. “McGonagall can  _ throw fists _ , I’m telling you - if those two ever got in a fight, she’d come out on top - and still have her hair perfectly done!”

Remus was  _ wheezing _ into the throw pillow in his arms, his discarded, empty glass almost toppling over and the two laughed for a while until the room began to truly light up with dawn. 

“I… think I’m hungover,” Remus mumbled, giggling a bit, hand against his forehead. “Merlin the Great, I hadn’t gotten drunk in  _ ages _ .”

“We just got tipsy, not really drunk,” Elías replied, chuckling a bit, looking at the almost empty bottle of Tequila that he’d pulled out after the fourth song. When Remus also looked at it, Elías snickered, “Whoops.”

“Are you still drunk?” Remus asked, laughing, incredulous.

“No, and my head is going to explode,” he sighed, rubbing his temple. “I… I have some Pepper Up potion, if you want?”

“Please,” Remus sprawled a bit on his couch and when Elías stood, he realized just how messy they’d let the lounge area get. With a swish of his wand, everything began to move back into place. 

Elías opened the windows, the stuffy air seeping out even when some rain filtered inside. He let a few drops fall against his face and rubbed the cool water against his cheek, feeling relief. With that, he walked to the washroom and looked for his emergency potions, humming a bit to himself, not really caring that Remus could hear him.

“Here,” Elías said, coming back with two glasses of water first, handing Remus one and a little white pill. “And some paracetamol.”

“What’s that?” Remus frowned, taking the pill and staring.

“It’s… it’s a pill,” Elías blinked at him, surprised. “Have you never had a pill?”

“No,” Remus looked back at Elías. “Do I… do I chew it?”

“No!” Elías laughed hard, watching Remus with delight. “You swallow it whole. That’s why I gave you some water.”

“Oh,” he flushed a bit and Elías giggled. “What does it do?”

“Alleviate the headache - while Pepper Up potions do work so that hangovers don’t bother you through the rest of the day, I’ve found that taking a quick pill before one makes it work faster. So,” Elías handed him a little vial with the potion, then swallowed his pill and drank his glass, following it with the potion. “Ah! Minty - too minty. This batch had too much -  _ eugh  _ \- mint.”

“It tastes fine,” Remus shrugged after he downed it, eyebrows raising. “In fact - tastes a lot better than other pepper up’s I’ve had?”

“That’s because you’re a werewolf and wolfsbane’s ruined your taste,” Elías joked, laughing as he took the empty vial from Remus’ hand, the other man laughing. “Ugh. We’ve to go to breakfast at the Great Hall. I’d much rather just… eat here.”

“No, no, no,” Remus shook his head, pulling the blanket away from him, standing and starting to fold it. “We need some semblance of… decency after last night. I think breakfast with everyone else will do us well.”

“Still in yesterday’s clothes?” Elías cocked an eyebrow at him and Remus sighed, glancing down at his shirt, which had a tequila stain. 

“Ah, bollocks,” he mumbled.

“C’mon, it’s super early,” Elías took his jumper and handed it to him, moving to get his toiletries and clothes. “I’ll go shower, you go get some clothes and we’ll eat with the rest of the staff.”

“Thankfully my quarters are close,” Remus sighed. “Wouldn’t want the students to see me like this.”

“I fucking hate that I chose my rooms like an idiot,” Elías groaned, walking out to the tower. “I thought it’d be nice to be close to my classroom but  _ no _ , I should’ve been closer to the showers. Like McGonagall or Septima.”

“Two smart women,” Remus said solemnly, the two giggling a bit as they stepped out.

“I’m glad you both think so.”

Remus and Elías froze, turning to the right, where Minerva McGonagall was ready for the day, arms crossed, watching their sloppy, stained, hungover looks with judgmental eyes. Elías felt like he’d been caught asleep in the library all over again.

“Minerva!” he called weakly, waving. “Hi!”

“Go shower, Elías,” she sighed, rubbing her temple. “Before the students see you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled, quickly rushing through the hallways, waving bye at Remus, who also did the little walk of morning shame back to his rooms.

* * *

Full moon came with a raging storm and it came on Wednesday. That day, Remus had decided to teach classes, since they’d been only in the morning but Elías was worried  _ sick _ . He hadn’t looked too well the previous night - had left dinner early, had replied that he would rather be alone since he had a pounding headache and he’d already gone to Pomfrey about it.

He had attended breakfast but he’d barely eaten and now Elías was headed to his classroom, having corrected the first exam for the First Years, surprisingly delighted that almost all of them had passed. Now with free time and pocketed, Belgian chocolate that his mother had sent him this morning with an owl over breakfast.

The class was still going, when he arrived, but the door was open, letting Elías silently lean into the doorway, watching. Remus spoke so clearly, with the voice of an orator, directing the class of Gryffindors and Slytherins with ease. Elías’ eyes trailed a few Slytherins very much not paying attention and he, of course, found Malfoy and his posse. A twinge of sadness ran through Elías, thinking of them being the most vulnerable to their parents’ ideologies. Perhaps he’d have to make an effort to start getting close to those kids.

He focused back on Remus, though, crossing his arms and ankles and letting the side of his head rest on the doorframe, unaware of a few students noticing him. Honestly, Remus’ lesson was interesting - merfolk were his favorite and he couldn’t get enough of Remus anyway, so it was a good mix.

It was when a few girls at the back row began giggling that Elías did notice and he turned to them and put a finger to his lips to quieten them, winking. The girls seemed to only giggle harder but they quickly silenced each other and went back to looking at the Defense professor, though they did glance back at Elías from time to time.

The class should’ve ended already, Elías knew, and Remus was about wrapping it all up when he seemed to finally notice Elías in the back, blinking at him.

“Oh!” he paused, chalk in hand. “How long have you been there?” he laughed, dark circles under his eyes, his voice a bit rough now that he wasn’t putting much strength behind it.

“Just a couple minutes,” he chuckled, standing straight before walking fully into the classroom. “Go on, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Do you know much about the merfolk, Professor Fernández?” one of the Slytherins asked, Pansy Parkinson, of Malfoy’s group of friends but incredibly interested in Astronomy. She was very,  _ very _ good at it, too. Especially with equations.

“Ah, not that much?” Elías laughed, waving his hand. “Once I tried to go into the Black Lake to swim and a triton kid bit me in the ankle and I had to rest for two weeks in the Hospital Wing. I missed the end of Quidditch season because of it,” he mumbled and a few students began to laugh. “You’re only laughing because I’m allowing you to!” he called, teasing. “But - well, they’re beautiful, dangerous and you’d do well listening to the actual Defense Against the Dark Arts professor,” he pointed out.

“Good advice,” Remus cocked an eyebrow at him. “But will  _ you _ follow it?”

“We’ll see,” he replied, smirking back.

“Class dismissed,” Remus called and immediately the students packed up, starting to leave. “Did you finish correcting exams?”

“Yep, came to check in on you,” Elías nodded, following him towards his desk, where he began to clean up his notes and papers, the kids setting a background noise of voices. “How you feeling?”

“A bit dizzy, a bit sore,” he sighed as Elías got comfortable, sitting on the edge of his desk. “Sleepy, above all. I almost slept in today.”

“Tonight you’ll sleep plenty, it’ll be fine,” Elías gave him a small smile before the girls - Ms Brown and Ms Patil, walked over to them.

“Ah, is there any question?” he asked the girls, giving them a small, tired smile.

“We just noticed you looking a bit sick, Professor Lupin, is all,” Ms Brown spoke up, Ms Patil nodding. “We were wondering if you’re okay?”

Remus stared for a moment, surprised, and Elías grinned widely. Students were worried about him - they liked him. It was such a nice thing, to see others care obviously for someone as good as Remus.

“I… may be coming down with something, I’m afraid, but I’m truly alright,” Remus spoke softly, reassuring the girls.

“It’s that time of the year where everyone eventually gets sick,” Elías reminded them, nodding. “You two would do well with bundling up for the upcoming Gryffindor and Slytherin game.”

“Yes, Professor Fernández!” they replied and before Remus could say anything else, Ms Brown looked at her friend and giggled, the two looking suddenly at Elías. 

“In any case, you’ve got Professor Fernández to take care of you!” Ms Patil claimed and Elías nearly fell out of his spot on the desk, eyes widening as the two girls left. “Bye, professors! Take care!”

Elías has forgotten the utter  _ danger  _ that teenage girls could be. He felt absolutely blindsided by them - they’d looked him in the fucking  _ eye _ before elluding to -

Oh no. Oh shit. What if they knew? What if everyone knew? What if Remus already knew and he was acting like an absolute clown, hovering over Remus, doing all these nice things and Remus thought it was just because he was crushing on him and not because he genuinely wanted to be friends -

“Ah, teenage girls,” Remus sighed, his cheeks a splotchy red as he looked at Elías, unaware of the turmoil inside the Spaniard. “Give them two young men who get along -”

“And they’ll make up anything,” Elías finished, laughing a bit, also blushing hard as he rubbed his nose. “Sorry, it’s probably - I’m very physical, I know -”

“Don’t curb the way you show basic friendship over the students talking, please,” Remus replied, hand patting Elías’ knee gently. “You hug Hagrid just as much and are always touching Sprout’s arm. We just hang out more.”

“I suppose,” Elías laughed. “It’s funny - they’ll assume any two men who are close together are romantically involved but Gods forbid two women get close together - that’s Sappho and her friend, didn’t you know?”

Remus laughed, shaking his head, “Oh, I know that. Dorcas and Marlene used to get that a lot. The ‘you two are such close friends!’, it was ridiculous when they would kiss and Slughorn would comment about  _ friendship _ ,” he snorted.

“It’s just Ms Brown and Ms Patil, anyway,” Elías dismissed, more for himself than for Remus’ concern, rolling his eyes. “They’re the big gossipers but nobody takes them very seriously.”

“For sure,” Remus nodded, frowning a bit, lifting a hand to find it shaking. “Shite.”

“Hey - you okay?” Elías stood fully, moving closer and touching his forehead, suddenly pulling away. “Remus, you’re burning up!”

“Yes, that’s what happens when it’s almost a full moon,” he sighed, looking at Elías. “Always happens. It’s fine.”

“Do you want me to get lunch from the kitchens and go already to the Shack?” he asked, searching his pockets before pulling out the chocolate bar. “This is for you, by the way - told mom to get some chocolate from Brussels and she delivered pretty well.”

“Oh,” Remus blinked a few times, watching the bar. “You… talked about me? To your mom?” he asked, confused.

“Well, yeah?” Elías frowned. “I talk to my mom about everything. She’s my best friend. She was worried I wouldn’t make any friends and I told her that I have you and Hagrid and the rest of the staff except Snape was being nice to me - mama was all like,  _ stick with the people who actually try to be your friends!  _ And I was like  _ I know, mama, I already know _ , and she reminded me that you can not have a lot of things in common but still be good friends -”

Remus watched Elías speak, explaining the whole conversation in letters with his mother, a bit of accent seeping through.

“And I was like - well, he’s a very good man, a very good friend! He likes my music! And my mom decided to, like, basically adopt you? Because you treat me well? She does it with every friend of Elena’s - my sister - so don’t worry, it’s normal for her. She wanted to send some home cooked meals? But I let her know that the owl probably would either eat it or not be fast enough, so she chose to send something from Belgium, which is chocolate, of course, and hey! You like chocolate a lot. Right?”

Elías turned to Remus again, watching him, the professor already halfway through the bar of chocolate, stunned. “This is the best I’ve ever had?” he whispered, hands no longer shaking.

“Well, it’s Belgian,” Elías laughed. “They’re the best chocolatiers.”

“What are your parents doing in Belgium instead of Spain?” Remus asked, incredibly confused. 

“Working,” he replied, shrugging. “Papa works in the NATO HQ and mama’s learning French and working sometimes in the HQ as well.”

“Right,” Remus replied, having no idea what NATO was and sitting up as he finished his bar of delicious chocolate. “Ah… you mentioned getting lunch?”

“Opened up your appetite, didn’t it?” Elías chuckled, nodding. “Great Hall or -”

“Not the Great Hall,” Remus winced. “Too much noise. Classes already… took a lot out of me.”

“Alright - kitchens it is,” Elías nodded before pausing, turning to Remus. “Would you like me to go to the kitchens? You can stay here and rest, you don’t need to come. I’ll bring lunch back.”

Remus fell back on his chair with relief, nodding, “That’d be wonderful, yes.”

“You got it.”

* * *

Elías had to spend his class worried sick about Remus, despite the seven consecutive days of Wolfsbane that he’d been drinking. He was a bit distracted, a bit in his head, and he just hoped his students wouldn’t notice it much, giving out the lesson as thunder rumbled over the horizon. 

“Professor Fernández?” a voice asked, and Elías looked away from the star chart he’d been pointing at to look at, of all people, Lavender Brown, who had been gossipping endlessly during dinner tonight and presumably the entirety of lunch with the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw table.

“Yes, Ms Brown?” he asked patiently, really hoping this was about the lesson and not her misguided thought of Hogwarts Staff romance.

“If we’re studying planets and stars,” she began, making Elías perk up and pay more attention to her - not a gossip thing. Good. “Then how come Divination and Astronomy are different subjects?”

Half of the class had an immediate reaction to her and Elías laughed as they groaned and began to complain under their breaths.

“What?” he asked the class, crossing his arms as he leaned back against his desk with a little smirk. “None of you got the hang of Divination class yet?”

“I did!” Lavender claimed but Malfoy spoke up.

“It’s a bunch of nonsense,” he spat, sneering. “Professor Trewlawney keeps saying all these ominous things that all of us know are just wide open guesses. She’s -”

“A very good woman with a very hard craft under her hands,” Elías finished for him, slowly, eyes meeting Malfoy’s only to make him shrink a bit. “Let me explain, since a lot of you seem to be puzzled at the fact that your Divination teacher is… of a certain kind.”

“Divination is an imprecise magic,” Hermione burst from the front of the class, Elías glancing at her irate look, cocking an eyebrow at her. “She just makes general guesses! For once Malfoy is right! She -”

“You’re a Virgo, aren’t you?” Elías asked, just to be that type of asshole, making the class, including Hermione, fall silent. Hermione blinked. “Virgo, yes? Your birthday is between August 23 and September 22?”

“September 19th,” she murmured and the reaction of the class was to absolutely lose their  _ shit _ .

“Calm down, calm down!” he told the excited students, way too excited for 11.20pm, chuckling. “That was a good guess, you know why?”

“Because - because of some traits that I possess that, for some reason, some have decided that goes into my Zodiac sign?” she asked, fuming, cheeks a bright red.

“Because I am, in fact, good at Divination,” he replied, laughing a bit. “Settle down, Hermione, astrology is imprecise and difficult to master. A few are good at it, others are not, and it’s okay not to be good at it. It requires a bit of spiritualism, I suppose, a bit of - more, I guess. And as I have said multiple times in my First Year classes, during the official settlement of the Statute of Secrecy in 1692, wizarding astronomers had to discredit astrology completely in order to keep their own craft in the dark.”

He had the entire attention of the class, then, hearing the ground vibrate a bit as thunder rang through the ground. Truly, the weather was awful.

“Professor Trewlawney may play into the mysticism and into certain stereotypes, but Divination  _ is  _ real and  _ is _ an important brand of magic. Merlin himself was subject of a prophecy,” he reminded them all, eyebrows raising. “And Divination is a lot of psychology, too, Ms Granger, as you should already have guessed, instead of trying to dismiss a very old and very well established branch.”

Hermione looked down at her desk, impossibly embarrassed as a few Slytherins and Gryffindors snickered at her. Elías sent them all a venomous glare.

“You all thought the same as her, don’t laugh when I explain,” he called, sitting up straighter. “Five points respectively to Gryffindor - for Ms Brown’s really good question which apparently had you all distracted in my, might I say, very interesting class.”

“But -” Hermione pressed, looking mildly upset. “She’s just  _ guessing _ .”

“She’s not!” Lavender called, just as upset, and before Elías could stop it, she was calling Hermione out. “You’re just angry because for once, you’re not the teacher’s pet, Granger!”

“Ms Brown!” Elías snapped, making the goading, mean-spirited teenagers immediately stop, his eyes furious. “Detention! That was absolutely uncalled for and I expect to see you tomorrow afternoon in my office to start cleaning telescopes! Ten points from Gryffindor!”

She sat down, head bent a bit and Elías tapped his wand against his temple, sighing deeply, another roll of thunder making him think about Remus. The werewolf would’ve probably been able to calm the class down well. Fucking hell.

“Divination is a tool used to figure out your own psyche - it’s not about things that are written in solid stone,” he began, patiently, watching his students. “Prophecies are not even precise - not in the way you all think. If you’re all stuck on exact dates and precise outcomes, then you’re not working right with the subject.”

“You believe in it, then?” Pansy Parkinson asked, frowning deeply. “You believe in… tarot and bones and tea leaves?”

“I believe that they may tell you something you already knew, deep down,” he replied. “For example - a tarot spread has just certain meanings attributed to symbols. But you’re the one reading it, aren’t you? You’re the one who takes the meaning and shapes it to life.”

“Then that’s not Divination,” Parkinson replied and Elías watched her.

“Is it not?” he replied.

The class was silent for a moment, and Elías laughed a bit tiredly, jumping as thunder rang again. Fuck. What if the tunnel under the Whomping Willow flooded? Surely Dumbledore had accounted for that. And - and Remus had brought his wand with him, right?

“Divination is the most ancient, the most imprecise and the most difficult branch of magic to master,” Elías concluded, looking at his students. “I understand that someone like Sybill Trewlawney may be of concern to you all, but if you don’t enjoy the class… it’s an elective, kids. You’ve got - muggle studies, ancient runes, arithmancy - you’ve got so many other subjects, you could apply for any other. If Divination does not call to you and if you do not respect it, don’t take it.”

“That’s stupid, though,” someone from Slytherin, Theodore Nott called, and Elías turned to him, blinking. “ _ If you’re bad, just drop it?  _ That’s not good advice.”

“I’m not saying if you’re bad, Mr Nott,” Elías chuckled. “I’m saying that if you all  _ dislike  _ it so much, it’s better to invest time in things that  _ you  _ are interested in. Most people think Divination is a good elective because it’s easy. But from your faces, I’m guessing it truly wasn’t, hmm?”

At that, a lot of people looked away, making Elías laugh.

“It’s okay. Again, as I said - the most difficult branch of magic,” he shrugged, reaching for his cup of tea and taking a sip as everyone began to whisper to each other.

“And you? Are you good at it, professor?” Pansy asked.

“I got an Outstanding in my Divination N.E.W.T.,” he confessed, and Pansy seemed absolutely stunned in her spot. “Dunno, I - I got the hang of it,” he shrugged, smirking into his cup. He only wished he could tell them that he was also a Seer.

“Is that why you’re doing Astronomy?” Theodore asked. “Because Trelawney already has Divination?”

“Oh, no, I love Astronomy, it’s a gorgeous science,” he shook his head. “I enjoy the stars very much and I know them well. I didn’t study Astronomy after Hogwarts but I can only hope that my lessons are easy to understand and enjoyable for you all.”

“The star - the star map around us was nice,” Pansy said, grinning at him and soon the students all seemed to agree, excitedly looking at Elías.

“The floating map?” he asked, surprised that they’d really loved it so much, waving his wand and murmuring in latin before stars, nebulas and planets floated up from the floor, the students all bursting into sounds of happiness and glee, making him smile. “I’d keep it as an enchantment but I feel like that would be too distracting for all of you.”

“Can you keep it when we have a little time for doing exercises?” Bulstrode asked, her eyes wide, pouting a bit at Elías and the professor nodded, smiling at the Slytherin.

“Why don’t you all start on the Cassiopeia essay?” he told them, multiple students starting to prepare their quills before he lifted his want a bit, calling their attention. “And I hope, please, that you didn’t take our latest conversation of Divination as a scolding - I understand that there are prejudices and there’s just not enough information about it to truly have a deep discussion, but I thank you all for your questions and for actually thinking about what I’ve said. Thank you for listening - and thank you for being honest, Ms Granger, Mr Malfoy, even if you have quite deprecating thoughts about my colleague.”

The two had the decency to blush and he nodded, moving behind his desk and nervously glancing at the full moon - only to find it hidden among clouds. He wanted nothing more than to run to the Shrieking Shack and make sure Remus was okay but he had a class to finish and he’d made a promise to the Defense Professor.

So he sat, took out his favorite quill and began to distract himself by writing the next exam his Sixth Years would take.


	10. Winter Follows

On Thursday night, as he was explaining Galilean moons to his Fifth Years, Remus showed up at the door, imitating the way Elías had leaned against the doorway. Only Elías noticed him and he stuttered over his sentence, making the Fifth Year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws turn around -

And  _ immediately _ rush to the professor.

“Professor Lupin, you’re alive!”

“We thought Professor Snape had poisoned you!”

“You still look a bit sick -”

“Oi, that’s rude, Lockgreen -”

“Everyone back to their seats!” Elías laughed, waving his wand to push the students away from the exhausted professor. “To your seat, come on! Come on!”

The kids all eventually went to their seats but they all looked at Remus with varying smiles, happy to have their professor back. The fact that Snape had been the one to substitute him had only served to endear Remus more to the students, Elías was sure. 

“You,” Elías began, pointing his wand at Remus’ face. “should be resting after being sick, Mr Lupin.”

Remus pushed his wand to the side, smiling a bit, “Well, you came to visit me yesterday and I thought I’d do the same.”

“I didn’t disrupt the class!” he laughed.

“That’s because I’m the cooler teacher,” Remus teased and Elías gave him a playful glare, the students laughing behind him. 

“Stay put until the class is over,” Elías warned him, giving him a  _ look _ before moving back to the front of the classroom with a sigh. “As I was saying, the Galilean moons were observed in either 1609 or 1610 when Galileo made improvements to his telescope, which enabled him to observe celestial bodies more distinctly than ever. Galileo's observations showed the importance of the telescope as a tool for astronomers by proving that there were objects in space that cannot be seen by the naked eye,” he pointed at the refracting telescope he’d brought to the front, a bit sad that the kids couldn’t use it in such bad weather. “This was a purely muggle achievement, as Galileo was a muggle. The discovery of celestial bodies orbiting something other than Earth dealt a serious blow to the then-accepted Ptolemaic world system, a geocentric theory in which everything orbits around Earth.”

He looked at his students, all of them more or less distracted, making him sigh a bit before smiling, “Can anyone name the four Galilean moons?”

No hands raised. Elías cocked an eyebrow.

“Not even one?” he called, watching his students all stay silent. “Guys - I know you know this. You’re in Fifth Year, no time to be shy. Mr Diggory, please,” he waved at the Hufflepuff seeker, making him flush. “Tell me you know something else than the names of your Quidditch balls.”

“Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto,” he replied, quick and hurried.

“Good,” he nodded. “Ten points to Hufflepuff. And how many moons does Jupiter have?”

“Uh… four?” he tried.

A Ravenclaw shot her arm up and he recognized her as Diggory’s girlfriend, Ara Zang, whom Elías pointed at, allowing her to speak.

“Jupiter has 79 known natural satellites,” she recited, making Elías nod. “Of these, 63 are less than 10 kilometres in diameter and have only been discovered since 1975. The Galilean moons, as you said before, are the largest ones, with Europa being the smallest and Ganymede the biggest, visible with binoculars in a clear night from Earth.”

“Twenty points to Ravenclaw and with that,” Elías spoke, getting the attention of everyone. “Class is done.”

The students all began to pack up as Elías kept speaking.

“For next week, I’d like you all to choose one of the four Galilean moons of Jupiter and give me an essay about everything you can find on it. I want a single roll of parchment minimum, with a maximum of two. You’re allowed to ask to use my equipment but if you need it, please visit me during office hours so I can show you how to calibrate and help. Have a good weekend!"

Students began to walk out of the classroom, down the stairs of the tower, passing by Remus and telling him to rest up, to get better, to take care. Elías began to put away the telescope, folding it and moving it with the rest of the other telescopes he had.

"I didn't take Astronomy after my O.W.L.s," Remus hummed, walking a bit forward. "Professor Sinistra was… a woman who liked her long, complicated words."

"She was brilliant but she knew it too well," Elías snorted, closing the doors of the closet and turning to Remus fully, arms crossed. "I did love Astronomy. A lot. But it was despite her and not because of her, if I'm honest."

"You're a good orator," Remus told him, still curiously looking around the classroom, since he hadn't really been here enough time to do so. "The kids seem to like you - they talk about you, when I ask them how they're doing in other classes."

"What's the general consensus, then?" Elías asked, a bit nervously.

"That you're easy points for class participation," Remus chuckled, making Elías gape, looking  _ so _ offended. “That you don’t discriminate based on houses. Everyone apparently thinks you were a Ravenclaw? And that -” Remus laughed, trying to speak through his laughter. “That you’re apparently the only professor worth having a crush on - words of my class!”

“That’s not too bad, is it?” Elías sighed, rubbing his cheek, leaning back on his desk. “I mean, I’m incentivizing them to participate in my class, at the very least, even if it’s only on points for the stupid House Cup. I’m glad they know I don’t favor any house. And why does everyone think I’m not a Slytherin?! This is bullshit! Should I wear silver and green all the time?!”

Remus shrugged, chuckling, “Oh, and apparently, you dress well.”

“Because I don’t dress like I’m in 1602,” he snorted, watching Remus before softening. “Hey but for real - how are you feeling? You shouldn’t be climbing the Astronomy Tower after a full moon.”

“I’m fine. It’s all good. Wolfsbane works miracles,” he replied, reassuring. “And I wanted to thank you for the dinner plate you left on my quarters.”

“Thought you’d wake up hungry again,” he shrugged, moving towards the door of the classroom. “Did you hear what happened at the Quidditch game?”

“The dementors,” he nodded, solemn. “Dumbledore was… angry, when he told me.”

“No shit,” Elías frowned deeply. “So many were in the field, it was insane. Potter fell from his broom and it shattered on the Whomping Willow. I was in the Hospital Wing when he arrived, he looked ready to cry. Won’t you have a talk with him?”

“Me?” Remus blinked.

“Yeah, he really likes you,” Elías nodded and Remus seemed to be… deeply impacted by this. “The kids really like you, Remus. Did you see how they reacted when you came in? They were worried sick about you, everyone thought Snape had poisoned you.”

“Severus very much did not poison me,” Remus sighed, a bit irritated.

“True, because if he did, I’d put his ass on the floor,” Elías told him, waving his wand to close and lock the door of the Astronomy classroom, slowly walking downstairs with Remus. “But for real, the kids love you and Harry has a lot of respect for you. I’d talk to him.”

“Alright,” he sighed, looking away. “I should go to bed. I’m… quite tired.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Night, Remus,” Elías waved at him, sending him a smile before disappearing into his rooms.

* * *

Remus, indeed, seemed to cheer Harry Potter up.

And apparently, the students had been listening to Elías, because a few students dropped from Divination, but those who had decided to stay - such a Nott, Granger and Malfoy, despite their protests - suddenly began to do better than before, which Sybill pointed out during dinner, around the first week of December.

It was two weeks before the end of the term and two days after Ravenclaw had absolutely destroyed Hufflepuff and spirits with Gryffindors were higher than ever - one of them being Oliver Wood, who had failed the  _ fuck _ out of his Astronomy exam, eyes wide as he stood in front of Elías in the steadily emptying classroom.

“I… I don’t…” he stuttered, surprised.

“Mr Wood,” Elías began softly, sighing. “I know that things have been quite difficult after Gryffindor lost that match against Hufflepuff. But school is for classes mainly and sports secondary. I thought you enjoyed Astronomy, Oliver, what happened?”

The kid was sitting, looking over his exam, face pinched in probably self-deprecating thoughts.

“I don’t know,” he murmured. “I was… very distracted, Professor, I didn’t mean any disrespect to your c-class, I -”

“I know,” Elías raised his hand to cut him off, seeing him shaking a bit. “But unfortunately, Mr Wood, you’ve failed the first term.”

That made Oliver let out a long sigh, burying his face in his hands, looking absolutely exhausted. Elías waved his wand, the kettle on the side suddenly shaking with boiling water and he pulled out a cup for the poor boy, serving him some tea.

“Calm down, Mr Wood,” he said softly. “Have some tea. Breathe in, breathe out.”

Oliver complied, hand shaking a bit, blowing on his cuppa.

“Do you know what you want to do? After Hogwarts?” Elías asked curiously and immediately he saw the conflict of emotions across his face. “Ah. I see.”

“It’s not -” he stuttered, sighing again. “I just… nothing seems to  _ fit _ , you know?”

“I know,” Elías replied gently, taking his own cup of tea and plopping a sugar cube in the middle, watching his student. “A lot of times, though, people offer us only what  _ they _ see. Perhaps you should be looking into the things that call out to you.”

“Quidditch,” he murmured, looking defeated. “But I’m not good enough for the major leagues, professor.”

“But do you want to be?” Elías blinked as Oliver paused. “You do, don’t you?”

“Yes,” the kid whispered.

“Then work for it. Life doesn’t end when Hogwarts does,” he laughed softly, smiling at him. “If you do pass all your classes and get decent N.E.W.T.s, things will definitely be a lot easier for you, though.”

“Don’t know about that,” he mumbled. “And I don’t even know how I’d get better after Hogwarts. I won’t have a team anymore. I live with my mother, she’s a squib, we live in a muggle neighborhood, sir. I don’t... have any friends outside of Hogwarts.”

Elías pursed his lips a little, watching Oliver Wood slowly deflate. Gods, and this ungodly weather wasn’t cheering anyone up, either. Instead of trying to offer sympathy that would probably only get so far, Elías picked up his exam, looking through it, pondering.

Then, “How are you doing in your other classes?” the professor asked.

“Decently,” he whispered, looking uncomfortable.

“That’s not really enough for N.E.W.T. level, I’m afraid,” Elías gave him an intense look. “But you can make up for it, if you want to pass my class.”

Immediately, Oliver perked up, eyes wide, “A-anything!”

“Over the winter holidays, I can send you some extra work,” Elías explained, tapping the exam in front of him. “It’ll be difficult. You’ll need to work hard. But if you finish all of them - not  _ perfectly _ , but finish all of them? I can make a case for you and it’ll help you pass my class by the end of the school year, in case you flunk the other terms as well.”

“Yes! Yes, I’ll do it - thank you, Professor Fernández!” he nodded. “What - what will I have to do -”

“I’ll send you a packet full of exercises before holidays begin,” Elías promised him, giving him a kind, patient smile. “If your mother and you live in a muggle neighborhood, it means you’ve a landline, very probably. If you’d like, I could give you my phone number in case you’ve any questions over the winter.”

“That’d be  _ great _ ,” he laughed, looking a bit emotional.

“I admire you as a keeper, Mr Wood, but it’d do you well to put your feet on the ground from time to time, hmm?” Elías tapped the wood of his desk, smirking. “Can’t have you winning Slytherin at the Quidditch Cup at the expense of your grades.”

“I’ll win the Quidditch Cup, sir,” he stated firmly, pulling his bag over his shoulder and grinning wide, taking his red-marked exam and almost knocking his cup of tea over Elías’ notes. “And I’ll pass your class!”

“That’s what I’m talking about, kid,” Elías laughed, waving him off, leaning back in his chair. “Get out of here, Mr Wood.”

“Thank you, sir!”

It was around eleven in the morning and Elías had enough time to start preparing that packet - and so he forwent his quill and pulled out his nice fountain pen, taking clean print paper. With that, he dedicated his day to working on Mr Wood’s extra homework.

* * *

He skipped lunch and basically dinner to finish, his wrist hurt like a bitch and he was fucking starving but it was  _ done _ . He’d been in the zone but it was better to do it now than to push it for later, especially when other kids would have a lot of questions about exams and grades and their homework.

Elías stood, stretching, arms above his head as some bones cracked only to glance at the window and freeze up, eyes wide.

“Wow,” he breathed, stumbling towards the open arches as snow slowly fell over the castle, eyes wide, moving outside of the magical warming charms of the tower so he could stand outside, in the wide open balcony space overlooking the whole terrain. 

The sky was a pale grey, motes of snow falling down on his cooling body. Elías ignored the cold, though, laughing aloud as he lifted his hands to catch the snowflakes descending on him. He felt them catch in his hair, in his shirt, and he spun a bit, delighted.

He knew it was a bit dangerous, of course, to move towards the edge and perch on it but he couldn’t help it, leaning his side against the impossibly cold stone, watching owls moving through the snowfall.

Elías didn’t know for how long he was there but at some point a voice startled him, calling from right behind.

“It’s quite a sight, isn’t it?”

“Dumbledore,” Elías breathed, surprised to see him, the elderly wizard moving right behind Elías as he looked over the grounds with visible pride and love. Elías couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Yes. Yes, it is. I may be the luckiest professor - I get to enjoy such a sight every night.”

“I knew you’d be right for Astronomy,” Dumbledore said, sending him a small smile.

He kept smiling at him and Elías watched back, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t come here to enjoy the view.

“You’ve missed lunch and dinner today,” Dumbledore began. “Are you alright?”

“Oliver Wood failed the term,” Elías replied. “I was making extra credit so he could pass the class and his N.E.W.T.s.”

“Ah, I see,” Dumbledore didn’t seem surprised, just kept smiling at him. “You’re quite a favorite among the children, I’ve noticed.”

“Well, I’m closer to their age than anyone else in the staff,” he laughed. 

“You’re a good professor, Elías,” Dumbledore said kindly. “Truly.”

“Thank you, Headmaster,” the Spaniard looked away, back to the snow-topped trees of the Forbidden Forest. He paused for a moment before speaking. “Sir?”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to tell Remus Lupin about my Sight.”

“I see,” was all he said. But then, “Any particular reason?”

“I don’t like lying to people close to me, sir,” he murmured. “I’m telling him because he’s a good friend of mine and because at this point, I just can’t go on without telling someone about this. It’s eating me inside. And I know better now than to keep things in when they’re destroying my mental health, sir.”

“Very well, it’s your choice. I can only advise you, Elías,” Dumbledore sighed. “But please, keep in mind that what you see is always a version. A side. Something that might not even happen. It’s -”

“A guideline, I know. Not set in stone,” Elías nodded. “Thank you for the reminder, sir.”

He carefully stood, giving Dumbledore a small smile before walking back inside the classroom, realizing only then just how cold and hungry he was, groaning a bit. Dinner was surely over and he’d have to shower before he could sneak into the kitchens and get something to eat. Dumbledore passed by him and bid him goodbye as Elías picked up the extra credit for Oliver to complete, cleaning up the rest of the classroom and setting it right.

He was about to leave when he heard someone walk into the classroom and he turned to see, of all people, Lucius Malfoy.

Elías stood still, watching him, slowly bringing his body language into one of a relaxed, controlled state, features changing into a pleasant, inviting visage. He’d seen pictures of Lucius Malfoy in the Daily Prophet, in other important pictures regarding the Ministry of Magic. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t a fool regarding pureblood matters - it was politics, and optics, and Elías knew more or less how to roam through the pit of snakes without getting bitten.

“Mr Malfoy,” he greeted, smiling pleasantly, leaving his papers on the desk and approaching the man, lifting a hand in greeting. “I don’t believe we’ve met yet. Professor Elías Fernández, at your service.”

“Lucius Malfoy,” he replied, voice breezy and low, accent impeccable, shaking his hand with his own leather gloved one. “Pardon the intrusion, I just wanted to meet one of the men who intervened within the court case.”

“Ah, yes - the hippogriff incident,” Elías nodded, saying nothing else, watching him.

“I was under the impression that you spoke to my son?” Lucius questioned, cocking a pale eyebrow at him.

“Yes, I was concerned for his safety. Mentioned to Hagrid that he should stick to much smaller creatures - which was abided to, might I add.”

“Yes, quite so. There’s been an agreement,” he hummed, eyes impossibly cold and very suddenly, Elías realized what exactly was in his inner right forearm, swallowing the fear it brought to him. “Rubeus Hagrid gets to keep his job. But that hippogriff must go.”

Fuck. “Understandable,” Elías said diplomatically. “I’m glad to know everything has its consequences, Mr Malfoy. Even the accidents.”

He stared at Lucius, impassible, not looking away even when Malfoy returned the intense stare, the both of them quiet before a moment before finally, Lucius gave a sardonic smirk and turned around, “Until we meet again, Professor Fernández,” he big, the sound of his cane and steps beating as tattoo against Elías’ head utterly fucking terrified.

But most of all, he was worried for Hagrid. Hagrid, who had taken care of those hippogriffs for so long. Hagrid, who would soon receive a letter about the execution of one of his creatures, if he hadn’t gotten it by now.

No shower or dinner for him, then.

He waited a few minutes until he was sure that Lucius was gone, then began to descend the stairs, deciding to get to Hagrid’s hut. Everyone was already done with dinner, apparently, because most students were either in their common rooms or going to them, the professor passing by them without paying much attention.

He had so much in his head, and it was so strange. Talking to Lucius, it’d been - he was a strange man, he was such a key component in all of the Sights he’d had that it was almost evoking the same feeling as when he had one - ears ringing, vision starting to blacken around the eyes, his legs growing numb -

“Professor Fernández?” he heard the voice of a student ask as he felt his breath pick up, trying to push back the Sight with all his might, hand shakily gripping the stone of a column. “Professor, is everything alright?”

Everything was swimming, voices, he could hear voices, he could see the shock of colors of a combat spell whenever he blinked and he had to get out of here, he had to find Dumbledore, he had to go -

“Elías!” a familiar voice called, grabbing his arm.

The sound of his head hitting cold stone rang through the hallway.


	11. The Reason

Elías wasn’t in his rooms.

He wasn’t in the Great Hall, either, because Remus had stepped into it only to see Elías very clearly not in his seat, so he’d turned right around and gone to his quarters but he wasn’t there either. When he climbed atop the Astronomy Tower, he found it empty of the Astronomy Professor who should’ve been dwelling there, correcting exams or playing music or - or _anything_. Maybe he was in Dumbledore’s office? Minerva’s? The staff room. Right, right, maybe - perhaps he was at the Slytherin common room. Or in Hagrid’s hut, too, he could be anywhere in the castle -

Remus was being paranoid for nothing. He stepped back, leaning against the walls of the Astronomy Tower and took in a deep breath before releasing it. It was the end of the term and obviously, being a core class, people were focused on Astronomy as well. Surely Elías had just been working in his office, or in his class, and been too busy to go to the Great Hall, that was all.

With that in mind, he lowered the stairs and found Pomona right at the bottom, the Herbology professor blinking at Remus before giving him the kind of smile someone slipped on before bad news.

“Are you looking for Elías?” she asked, a bit nervously.

“What happened?” Remus moved a bit closer, frowning.

“Poor laddie fainted on the steps by the clocktower,” she explained, sighing. “Don’t know if it was exhaustion or something, but he looked pale and his eyes were wide open, it was so strange! The students called Dumbledore and Elías is now on the Hospital Wing.”

“When did this happen?” Remus asked, his heart in his throat. “Was it the Dementors? Did the Dementors get too close?!”

“It happened last night! I don’t know! Students were there and they were fine! I think he was just really tired, Remus, is all,” Pomona quickly told him, hand sliding to his arm, squeezing. “I came here to get him some pajamas or something comfortable to sleep in.”

“I can do that,” Remus said softly. “I’ll get his things and go check on him at the Hospital Wing. Thank you, Pomona.”

“Of course. Don’t worry too much, yes?” she told him, stepping back a bit. “He looked alright, when I saw him this morning. Sleeping. Dumbledore said that he’d be alright and he didn’t look worried at all.”

Remus relaxed only slightly, climbing up the stairs once more to Elías’ rooms, walking in without a second thought and almost tripping on the carpet. He tried not to think about Elías - bubbly, boisterous, too-loud Elías laying in a hospital bed as he entered his bedroom.

It felt like a breach of privacy and he sighed, pausing in the middle of his room. It was waning crescent and his sense of smell wasn’t as strong but the moment he stepped in, an onslaught of odors came to him. Lavender, tea tree oil and guitar polish. He blinked for a moment, startled at the way the room looked. There was his bed with a thousand throw pillows - who needed so many pillows? - a vanity with a blanket thrown atop and a thousand candles on it, along with a sea conch, multiple drying poppies and a plate full of seeded bread on top. He was curious about that one but he ignored it in favor of opening his wardrobe to get some pajamas, focusing only on that.

He didn’t seem to have traditional pajamas but he grabbed some sweatpants - Elías owned those, funnily enough - and a long, comfortable t-shirt before quickly walking out of his rooms, not feeling like being here without the Astronomy professor.

Remus had class - damn it, he had classes and he hadn’t had breakfast yet but he had to go see Elías before them. He’d grab a muffin later or something. For now, he focused on hurriedly walking through the hallways, his blood roaring in his ears.

Maybe this was a sign, then, from the universe, Remus thought miserably as he took a shortcut through the courtyard, freezing his ass off. Maybe the universe was telling him that he really shouldn’t have been thinking about asking Elías to go to Hogsmeade with him - it wasn’t a date, he wasn’t asking for a _date_ but it would probably look like one. Because _he_ wanted it to be a date but it was so fucking wrong -

Elías was _twenty-one_. He was twenty-one and too young and too bright and too much of… everything for him. Sure, he didn’t care about the bite; sure, he was also into men; sure, he seemed to understand him on a deeper level than anyone he’d met in the past ten years but for fuck’s sake, he really didn’t need an old, penniless, scarred werewolf like Remus chasing after him. Even the students had noticed. He could brush it off, or try to, but in truth, he wanted to spend time with Elías. He wanted to see him lean on the doorway of his classes, wanted to have dinner next to him, wanted to take another stroll through the grounds and hear about his stupidly large family. About - how he wanted to bring Remus, of all people, to his home, show him the sea.

Remus swallowing, thinking of all those times Elías had played a song on the couch of his quarters, sharing a drink or grading together in the last month. He thought of waking up so groggy, so fucked in the head after a transformation, and always feeling warm because Elías was there with a blanket and some tea to soothe him.

Elías was a good friend. And he didn’t deserve someone like Remus chasing after him like the Ravenclaws leaving chocolates at his desk. He seemed uncomfortable enough with them and surely he’d be disgusted if he knew -

“Elías,” he breathed as he entered the Hospital Wing, seeing the bump in the sheets and Dumbledore with Snape at the foot of the bed, quickly rushing in. “What happe -”

“Leave,” Snape sneered at him, apparently done with the niceties but Remus ignored him. He was bigger than petty school rivalries and he placed Elías’ clothes on the foot of the bed, watching Dumbledore, who gently chided Snape.

“Elías wanted to tell him,” he explained.

“Oh, of course he did,” Snape glared at Remus but he was busy taking in the state of Elías - asleep, tranquil, seemingly okay if it weren’t for the bandage around his head. “Headmaster, I don’t think it’s the greatest course of action -”

“I already told Elías, when he was very young, that I would not stop him from telling others if he wanted,” Dumbledore explained, looking over at Severus as Remus watched them both, perturbed, because apparently none of them thought he knew that Elías was transgender?

“I uh, already know,” he explained a bit awkwardly and Snape sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“What an irresponsible little git,” Snape told Dumbledore, eyes flickering to Elías. “I can’t believe he’d just _say_ it.”

“As I said, it’s _his_ secret to tell,” Dumbledore stepped back, hand patting Elías’ leg over the covers before he began to leave. “And it’d do you well, Severus, to let him do as he wants.”

Severus waited until Dumbledore was gone before he turned to Remus, sneering, “The only reason you know it is not because Dumbledore trusts you but because we all know Fernández and you are _fucking._ ”

Remus watched Severus' back with a sort of disappointment he didn’t often feel, watching the utter hatred in his eyes as the potions professor left. He didn’t bother to reply to his comments and accusations - it wouldn’t change Severus’ mind, that was for certain. He only hoped Elías truly was asleep and hadn’t heard that.

The professor sighed, taking a chair and sitting down, watching Elías with worried eyes. He should be on his way to class, he really should, but… he was worried sick. What had happened?

“Oh, not you as well!” Pomfrey huffed as she came out of her office and saw Remus, making him look up. “He’s fine! He’ll be fine! Out, come on, out! He needs rest, not the ruckus the Headmaster and Severus have been making!”

“He’s truly alright?” Remus asked softly, standing and walking over to Poppy. “I just arrived to give him some comfortable clothes, I - I didn’t know he’d fainted last night.”

“Low sugar, that’s for certain,” she told him. “Didn’t eat for a long time and that’s what you get, professor Lupin! So when he wakes up, make sure he eats! Thank Merlin that Snape was there to bring him in.”

Remus paused, surprised, “Severus brought him?”

“Sure did! The lad hit his head against a column as he was collapsing but professor Snape caught him before he fell to the floor and carried him all the way here!”

Remus was _extremely_ confused that he’d… go out of his way to help Elías but he was grateful, nonetheless, watching his friend over his shoulder. With a sigh, he dug around his pockets, finding a chocolate frog - a bit squished - and set it at the foot of his bed, walking out of the Hospital Wing.

News about Elías had probably reached his students, because the moment he entered his class, everyone started to desperately ask him for questions, his Seventh Year class of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors calling out. He startled for a second, blinking at them, giving a little nervous laugh and moving on to put his things on his desk.

“Calm down, everyone, calm down,” he called softly. “Sit down. Professor Fernández is fine, it was just a case of low sugar and the cold of the snow, is all.”

“But is he awake? Is he okay?” Oliver Wood from the back of the class asked, intense as that kid always was. “I saw him just yesterday, he seemed _fine_!”

“He _is_ fine, Mr Wood,” Remus replied gently, giving him a smile. “I was just in the Hospital Wing. He’s sleeping and recovering. I’m sure you all will be able to see him soon.”

“Is it the Dementors, professor Lupin?” a Hufflepuff asked, looking a bit afraid.

“No, Ms June, it’s not, but it’d do you all well to stay away from them anyway,” he sighed, looking at his students. “I understand that tensions are high right now. But truly, this was an isolated incident. If you want,” he added, seeing the look on their faces. “You could make a nice card and give it to Professor Fernández. He cares very much for all of you, I know that. And I know he’d want you all to ace your Astronomy exams before Winter break. So come on, everyone. Cheer up.”

* * *

“I saw Black again.”

Dumbledore looked away from McGonagall and the two quickly sat up as Elías shakily stumbled into the office, eyes wild, wearing the clothes in which he’d fainted in the hall and ripping off the bandage around his head.

“Elías!” McGonagall called, rushing to grip his arms before he fell. “You should be resting!”

“I saw him,” Elías rasped. “In - in the Room with the Veil,” he coughed, voice sore. He’d woken up screaming. “He was fighting with us, he punched Lucius Malfoy, the fucking guy had Sybill’s _prophecy_ in his hand!”

“This is only one outcome, Elías,” Dumbledore said, final and without room for discussion but Elías shoved McGonagall away and pointed at him.

“You keep fucking telling me that like I don’t know how these Sights fucking work!” he snapped, leaning into Dumbledore’s desk, face shining with sweat, cheeks rosy with fever. “He didn’t fucking _do_ it! Maybe the godsdamn Potters didn’t choose him as the secret-keeper, did you think about that?! Maybe they were betrayed by someone else! Fucking -” he gripped the chair and threw it to the floor when Dumbledore remained impassible. “ _LOOK AT ME!_ ”

The moment Elías finished yelling, he felt faint, knees failing, and Minerva held him up the best she could, eyes wide as they went between Dumbledore and Elías.

“You need to rest,” Dumbledore said calmly.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, but I know,” Elías rasped, panting hard, blue eyes sharp. “Keep waiting for the Ministry to do a misstep, Albus, and you’ll realize that waiting wasn’t _fucking_ worth it.”

Dumbledore kept watching him and Minerva tried to pull him to the door. Elías kept staring at Dumbledore, fever at high, legs barely working. Fuck, he hadn’t realized that he’d been keeping his Sight at bay and now it’d been worse than ever.

“You shouldn’t be picking fights in this state,” Minerva sighed at him. 

“He should be listening to me and opening a gate for Black to be caught inside,” Elías panted, limping alongside her.

“But what if you’re wrong, Elías?” McGonagall asked. “You’re too young to understand -”

“He died.”

Minerva stuttered on her next words, turning to Elías with surprise.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“In my vision,” he explained, swallowing hard. “Sirius Black died protecting Harry. Fighting with the Order. Against his absolute fucking insane bitch of a cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.”

“Elías, that’s -”

“Harry was there, in front of me when it happened,” he coughed. “He was screaming. Crying. There were kids in there, Minerva, he was one of _us_. He will be one of ours,” he swallowed, trying not to cry, his anger too present for that. “I’m not gonna let Dumbledore’s need to control everything overshadow the fact that a man has been wrongfully imprisoned for 15 years and I plan to get to the bottom of it.”

“You can barely _stand_ , Elías,” she said, finally entering the Hospital Wing again, where Pomfrey began to cuss Elías out, hurrying him back to bed. “Rest up, alright? Try to recuperate, at least, before you begin one of your - absurd plans.”

“I’ll try,” he groaned as he fell on the bed, panting, face and body covered in sweat.

* * *

Elías took four days to fully go back to normal, in which students flooded in to wish him a good recovery, putting sweets and cards and little things at the foot of his bed, which thoroughly endeared him to the point of almost crying as he read one of the cards that the First Year Slytherins had done.

On Friday, the day he’d be discharged, Remus finally came by, his face lighting up when he saw Elías awake, munching on some acid pops that the Weasley twins had so graciously left for him along with a card saying that they wouldn’t break his stuff again.

“Nice to see you awake when I come by,” Remus chuckled, taking a chair and sitting down, Elías looking over at him with a bit of a tired smile. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Elías whispered, voice a bit better, offering Remus a piece of candy, which he denied but quickly stole some chocolate from his pile. “What did I miss?” he asked.

“Well, Hagrid received a letter calling him to a hearing on April 20th about the hippogriff that hurt Draco Malfoy,” Remus explained and Elías groaned. “So there’s that.”

“I don’t want to see Lucius Malfoy again,” he sighed.

Remus paused. “You… saw him?”

“Yeah, came over by the Astronomy Tower to see me,” he rolled his eyes. “Tried to intimidate me out of Hagrid’s side but that shit wouldn’t fly. I was about to go to Hagrid’s hut to warn him when I… y’know,” he winced.

“Talking about that,” Remus gave him a severe look -

Elías felt a shot of arousal run through him at the look and he hid his face in his pillow, as if hiding from the scolding he'd receive and not from the fact that he belonged in horny jail.

“Listen, I - it wasn’t what you think,” Elías began.

“So you didn’t skip lunch _and_ dinner and didn’t hole yourself up all day in the Astronomy Tower, exposing yourself to the snow after that?” he asked and Elías sunk a bit further into the bed.

“Okay, so maybe it _is_ what you think, but not fully,” he offered a small little giggle but Remus just sighed deeply, making Elías frown a bit. “Trust me, okay? It was - there was something else.”

“Is it -” Remus seemed to hesitate, looking around before turning to Elías again. “About… hormones or something?”

Elías blinked at him, confused. “Uh… what?”

“Is it a hormonal problem?” Remus asked.

Elías felt a spike of annoyance hit him and he made a face, “No. My hormones are fine, thank you very - is that a transmysoginistic jab? Did you think I fainted because of my _hormones_? I’ve about the same level as you of testosterone, I’ll let you know, thank you very much.”

“What? No! No, no, that’s not what I meant!” Remus quickly said, eyes wide, face flushing with shame.

“Why would you ask me if I’ve a hormonal problem? What the hell?” Elías asked, leaning back on his bed, feeling like he’d been slapped by real life - Remus couldn’t be perfect, obviously. He wasn’t and he knew that, but this was the first time he’d actually been offended by the man.

“I just - when I came here - Severus said that it had to do with your - your _thing_ , so -” Remus tried to explain and Elías felt his annoyance at him fade and anger at Snape rise. “I - well, I told both Dumbledore and Severus that I already knew your secret and - it seemed to really anger Severus? I -”

Remus pursed his lips a bit, looking away, wincing, and Elías suddenly understood why Remus had asked about his hormones, feeling bad that he’d been so quickly offended.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, Remus,” Elías murmured, his hand moving to hold the other professor’s and squeezing, making Remus look back at him. “I’m sorry. No, Remus, I don’t have any hormonal problems. I get a shot in my ass filled with testosterone every month, around every 25 days,” he explained. “So my fat redistributes, I grow facial hair, my voice deepens and my hairline and hair texture change.”

“Wait,” Remus paused, surprised. “It’s… you didn’t change magically?”

“I wish,” Elías laughed. “No, I - there’s no permanent solution in magic. Apparently, trans people don’t exist in the eyes of the Ministry of Magic sooo… yeah. Wizards and witches just go the muggle way.”

“But that’s insane. That’s so stupid, we could do quicker, more palpable changes,” Remus replied, recoiling a bit, his hand tighter on Elías’. “I mean - if muggles can get such… amazing changes - well, I mean - you look…”

Elías was now amused as Remus realized the corner he’d put himself in, cocking an eyebrow at the Gryffindor, “Hmm? I am… what? Go on?”

“I am not going to finish that thought because - it’s not that you look like a man, you _are_ a man, and some men look more feminine or more masculine or more androgynous,” Remus finally said.

“Good answer,” Elías grinned proudly, reaching over to grab a sugar quill and pop it into Remus’ mouth as he opened it to reply to his cheekiness. “That was the best answer you could’ve given, Professor Lupin, I hope you know.”

“Good to know,” Remus used his free hand to grip the end of the quill, tongue coated in soft, pink floss, watching Elías before his thumb suddenly moved and Elías’ heart skipped a beat, feeling it caress the side of his hand. “I was worried, Elías. Please, don’t skip meals again.”

He’s heard that one before.

“I’ll try,” he replied quietly but Remus shook his head, eyes intense.

“I need you to promise that you’ll do your best. There’s dementors, there’s - a serial killer on the loose, there’s a lot of dangers going around right now - I need you to take care of yourself.”

“I’m not very good at that,” Elías confessed quietly.

Remus watched him, staring, contemplating. And just as Elías was about to say that he could try anyway, Remus spoke again.

“I’ll take care of you.”

The utter _emotion_ that it gave him made his entire face turn a dark shade of pink, Elías wanting to recoil and hide under the blankets of the hospital bed and never come out while simultaneously wanting to grip Remus’ stupid, ratty jumper and kiss him senseless.

“Remus -” he gasped softly, fingers entwined, needing to tell him about the Sight -

“Er… am I interrupting?”

Remus and Elías jumped apart, hands back to their own laps, Elías turning even redder if possible as Harry Potter looked at them both with wide eyes, hands raising and almost stepping back but Elías spread his arms, laughing a bit hysterically.

“Harry! You came to visit! Hi! I was just - we were - you know, Remus really likes sugar quills! Right?” Remus spluttered before quickly stuffing his mouth with it, nodding, looking at Harry, who was by now smiling a bit behind his hand. “What uh, what brings you here? Are you doing okay with your upcoming exams?”

“They’re all mostly done,” he explained. “I _was_ having trouble with uh, one of the exercises? But I came here to check if you were alright, Professor.”

“Where’s Ron and Hermione?” Remus asked.

“Hogsmeade,” Harry replied awkwardly and the two professors looked at each other with a bit of a knowing stare. “If you’re busy -”

“I’m not,” Elías replied, giving him a kinder, more welcoming smile as Harry approached a bit. “Remus told me that you two will be starting private lessons in the next term?”

“Yes!” he nodded, excited, giving Remus a grin, which the other professor returned. “I’m excited for them!”

“So am I,” Remus offered.

“Sorry my classes aren’t as practical as his,” Elías chuckled, hand moving to pat Harry’s arm, happy to see him smiling for once. “Are you going home for the holidays?”

“Ah, no, I always stay here at Hogwarts,” he shook his head.

“I see,” Elías gave him a bit of a smile. “And your friends?”

“Hermione and Ron are staying,” Harry smiled, taking a chair and sitting down on it, Elías offering a quill, which he took gratefully. “So I’ll be spending Christmas with them.”

“That’s nice!” Elías nodded. “As much as I’d love a white Christmas for me, I’m going back home for the holidays. I’ve got a wedding to attend and my mother would have my head if I tried to not come home for Christmas.”

“There’s no snow in your state?” Harry asked.

“State?” Elías asked, confused, before he realized. “Oh! Oh, no - kid, I’m from Spain! I know I’ve got an American accent but I’m from Spain!” he laughed, making Harry flush. “Fully European. Also, Spain does have snow - just not my town.”

“I could do without so much cold,” he confessed, hands burying into his pockets before he stood. “Well, er… it was nice to see you - both,” he nodded at Remus. “I’ll see you after the break, Professor.”

“Bye, Harry!” Elías waved, watching him leave. “What a sweet boy.”

"He really is," Remus smiled, giving Elías a soft look. "You were right, you know. About… talking to him," he explained when Elías stared at him. "He did feel better and - and well, so did I."

"Did you hear what he said?" Elías asked quietly. "His friends are staying for Christmas to be with him. Something tells me that he's not staying in Hogwarts _always_ just because he likes the castle so much."

"You're still worried about how his home life is," Remus sighed, watching Elías before nodding slowly. "So am I, if I'm honest. Lily didn't talk with her sister - apparently they'd been close once upon a time and… then they weren't."

"Did she ever say why?" Elías questioned, leaning towards Remus, deeply frowning.

"She and I were close," Remus explained, frowning, his hand running through his hair as he sat back comfortably. "But she never really… told me why? I think it was a still open wound."

"Do you think we could ask Harry directly?" Elías pulled his thumb nail between his teeth, a bit nervous, looking a bit afraid. "I don't want him to pull away, Remus, I just want him safe."

"Well, he _is_ safe. Dumbledore -"

"He won't be killed but I'm a little more worried about his mental health, Remus," Elías deadpanned, sighing deeply. "Maybe Ron and Hermione could give us something…?"

"You think they would tell us?" Remus asked, giving a bit of a wince. "When all the adults they've talked to have probably dismissed their worries about Harry?"

"Does - does he show any signs of trauma?" Elías turned to Remus, who seemed blindsided by all of this. "The usual - withdrawn, cynical, seeks loneliness, explodes with emotions, disturbed sleeping patterns…"

"I don't know," Remus replied quietly, a bit stressed. "He hasn't spoken about anything of that but - but he's said that when he faints by proximity to dementors, he… hears his mother beg for mercy."

"Jesus _Christ_ ," Elías breathed, hand rubbing his face. "Fucking - _Remus_ -"

"I know," he pursed his lips. "He isn't alright, as much as Dumbledore seems to think that he is. But even if we did get to the bottom of it and it turned out his aunt and uncle _are_ abusive, what would we even do?"

"What else? Sue and go to fucking court, Remus," Elías replied. "Fight for - for that kid to be put in a home that actually cares for him."

"Put a young, extremely famous wizard in foster care?" Remus laughed dryly. 

"No! Not foster care, he'd…"

He froze, realizing all of a sudden that he'd been thinking about Sirius Black. 

Elías had been thinking this whole time that things would be so much different than now. Sirius Black would obviously be seen as an innocent man and Harry would have a parental figure that actually wanted him to be happy. Remus would gain his best friend back and maybe the two would fall in love again and Harry would have a genuine family. People who knew his parents, who had loved them and appreciated them.

But Sirius was on the loose. He hadn't been proven innocent. And Elías still didn't know who had betrayed the Potters.

"Remus, I… I've to tell you something," Elías attempted softly, about to speak when the doors of the Hospital Wing opened and, out of all people in the fucking world to interrupt, came _her_.

Elías watched with slight horror, the sight of Elena in _Hogwarts_ as dissonant as a fish in a bicycle. He gaped, hearing her heels click, her makeup impeccable as always and Alex right behind her, looking like two high-end muggles from the fashion district in Paris.

" _Elena_?" He gaped, watching her pursed lips. "Alex?!"

"Hey Elías, man, how's it going?" Elena's boyfriend nodded at him, smiling, the two stopping in front of his hospital bed. "We heard you were at the hospital."

"I'm fine, I just… fainted - how - how did you get here?" He asked Elena and Remus glanced between the three of them rapidly, trying to understand what was going on. "There's _Dementors_."

"Headmaster Dumbledore allowed us to floo in," Elena spoke, hand moving to his chin, looking for injuries, sighing. "When am I ever going to be able to _enjoy_ you staying alive?"

"I didn't break anything," Elías defended immediately, frowning at her before batting her hand away. "What are you doing - I'm fine, Elena! I already told mama and papa that I was okay!"

"Right, because you never lie about that," she scoffed, suddenly going softer. "We were worried. And everyone's gathering in San Fernando already, they're asking for you."

"Oh," he murmured. "Well, I- the term finished tomorrow? I've got a _lot_ of things to do, still, though, and I'll probably be there the 24th?"

"That's fine as long as you're able to make it to dinner," Elena shrugged and Alex leaned forward to ruffle Elías' hair, making him flush but smile a bit.

"Take care of yourself, kid," he told Elías. "And don't hesitate to call us or send us an owl."

"Ah, sorry," Elena suddenly spoke, turning to Remus, who seemed to have shrunk enough in his chair not to be noticed. "And you are?"

" _Elena, tía, no me jodas,_ " Elías chided, making her smile a bit. "This is Professor Remus Lupin, he's the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. And also my friend."

"Friend?" Her face lit up a bit but her eyes scanned his face, his clothes, and Elías wanted to wring her neck. She did that every time - every _time_. She was too judgemental and she often let it get in the way of wonderful personalities. She only surrounded herself with pretty people. She'd always been the pretty one. "Nice to meet you, I'm Elena, Elías' sister."

"Oh!" Remus straightened up a bit, shaking her hand, then her boyfriend's.

"I'm Alex, her boyfriend," the other Spaniard explained, smiling brightly at Remus.

"Nice to meet you," he said, sounding genuine but also intimidated. Elena often had that effect. 

"In any case," Elena spoke up, loud and clear. "Next time you get injured, call us directly. Please."

"I'll try, if I'm conscious," he tried to joke, making Alex snort but Elena just gave him an exasperated look. "I will, I _will_. Promise. Sorry."

Elena sighed, leaning over to kiss his forehead, leaving an annoying imprint of her lipstick on his skin before stepping back.

"I've to start planning some things for Emilio's wedding but I'll see you soon, I hope?"

"I'll arrive at my place on the 24th, yeah, and I'll drive there."

"Good. See you, then."

"Take care, Elías," Alex bid, waving at him before following Elena, the two walking off the way they'd walked in - making a statement or some shit. 

For a while, Remus was silent, making Elías feel a little bit nervous. He knew Remus had noticed the way his sister looked at him and he was dreading Christmas Eve when she eventually chided him for Remus not 'caring about the way he looks'. As if he could help it. As if it even _mattered_.

"She is..." Remus struggled for a moment.

"Intimidating? Terrifying? You looked at her and thought - oh, she's too pretty to even be in front of me? I know," he laughed as Remus watched him with a strange face. "Trust me, I've gone through it all. She's my only sister. Whatever you feel, _I know_."

"I was going to say that she was _shorter than you_ ," he chuckled a bit, watching Elías with a lopsided little grin. "Thought she was going to eat me for even during to glance at you, to be honest."

"She bullied me a lot as a kid, but if someone else bullied me, she was the first to throw fists," Elías sighed, giving a loud groan as he laid back in his bed. "Gods, everyone is gonna give me a hard time at Christmas, I already know. Fucking - wedding, too. Where's your date? Why are you wearing that? Why did you never call that nice girl that I set you up with?"

"Sounds - bad," Remus hesitated, looking at him. "I thought you got along with your family?"

"Oh, I do - but they're _family_ ," Elías laughed. "They're not going to leave me alone. They're annoying, they're piranhas and sharks and they'll bite at my feet until I give them a morsel of information about my life - career or romantic or social."

"Ah, I see," Remus seemed to relax a bit. "Will you be okay over Christmas, then?"

"Yeah, don't worry, just - they tried to set me up with someone over June and it went bad? The girl was...bad, so uh, they apparently were expecting me to bring her along. And I don't wanna tell them that she basically threw a vase at my face when I told her I wanted to not… fuck her on the first date."

Remus winced, "Ah, that's-"

"Distasteful? Rude? Indeed. So now I'm dateless and I can't wait for the comments," he rolled his eyes. 

"Can't you just find a quick date?" Remus asked him and Elías looked over at him and an amused look. 

"You think I could just go to someone and ask them to be my wedding date - an impossibly big wedding that will last _two_ days, in a possibly foreign country where everyone speaks Spanish?"

"Well - don't you have other friends, back in Spain?" Remus asked and Elías sighed.

"No, Remus, I don't," he mumbled, eyes closing, laying down, getting comfortable. "The only friends I have are in the grounds - Hagrid, Pomona, Flitwick and you. And, well, honestly just the Hogwarts staff."

"Ah, I see," Remus said awkwardly.

"Besides, again, none of them speak Spanish. My _grandma_ will be there. It's too much pressure."

"Yeah, for sure," Remus murmured just as Pomfrey walked over, checking over Elías methodically, her hands nice and warm as she began to berate him for having way too many visitors. 

Once discharged, _finally_ , Elías let his legs stretch as he picked up all the cards and nice things his students had given him, looking forward to the last two days of classes - today and tomorrow. And then he could tell Oliver that he had his extra credit, which was a nice little goodbye to the first term of his first year teaching at Hogwarts.

"It's still early," Remus told Elías as they both went out of the Hospital wing, giving him a small smile. "Do you want to go to an early lunch? I've no classes for the rest of the day."

"Ah, yeah! I'd like to see everyone else," Elías nodded, smiling.

He should've told Remus that the two had to talk. He should've grabbed his arm and quietly told him that he had something to say, a secret he'd been keeping for a long time. He should've unburdened himself, but the rest of the day, he just… forgot about it for a blessed moment, enjoying his friends and his students' enthusiasm and the Christmas decorations and the way Remus' eyes looked under those lights.

So he taught class, received a couple of hugs from the smallest kids, promised the bigger ones that he would take care of himself and packed to leave on the 24th, feeling like anything could happen the moment he was gone. 

But he said goodbye, promised Remus and Hagrid that he'd bring back presents, and disappeared into the chimney in his quarters.


	12. Surprise Meetings

Elías sighed, watching the pale moon during noon after the wedding, half-hungover and with his hair all over the place, his mother serving him breakfast with a kiss to his temple.

"Is everything okay?" She asked in Spanish, hand moving to pet his hair, Elías' eyes closing as he relaxed. 

"Yeah, mama, just worried about my friend," he murmured, turning around as he grabbed her hand to kiss it. "He's been sick and I think I'm gonna head back today, just to check. No family and stuff."

"You mean that Remus boy?" she asked, surprised. "He's sick? What's he got?"

"Lycanthropy, mama," Elías replied, nodding at the moon, and his mother froze. "Aw, come on, you both knew that they existed."

"Is it safe, though?" She asked. "Does that mean you're in dan -"

"No, mama, Wizarding medicine allows the werewolf to be completely asleep during the full moon. But there's side effects and he's pretty much exhausted every time. It's- it's like a chronic illness."

"Well, but…" his mother sighed. She looked a bit sad, her brown eyes running over Elías as if to memorize him. "Don't you want to stay for New Years?"

"No, mama, I think I better spend it there. I've to help a few kids with their extra credit anyway," he smiled at her, reaching for his coffee.

"This friend of yours is the one Elena talked about?" Lourdes questioned as his father walked in, face happy as he saw his wife and son at the table already. "Morning."

"Morning, pa," Elías yawned.

"Morning," he gave them both a kiss and began to fiddle with the coffee machine. 

"So Elías is leaving today,  _ amor _ ," Lourdes explained as the wizard ate his toast, reaching for the morning newspaper an owl had brought an hour ago.

"Ah, well, let us see you more often, okay?" Juan turned to Elías, giving him a small smile. "Come a weekend or two to Brussels. It's not that far from Hogwarts, right?"

"I'll try, papa," Elías promised, returning the smile, watching with a suddenly empty stomach a page talking about the latest sightings of Sirius Black in Hogwarts. Elías closed the newspaper quickly. "In any case - anything I can do before I leave? Does anything need repairing, moving? I can do it real quick."

"Actually, yes!" His mother's eyes lit up, moving back into the hallway before returning with a shattered geode necklace, a small smile on her face. "If you'd be so kind, sweetheart."

All for the sake of her delight, Elías pulled out his wand and swished it, pointing the tip at the shards, clearly speaking, " _ Reparo _ ."

The geode looked very much perfect and Lourdes gave her son a tight hug, thanking him profusely and touching the stone with fascination.

Ever since he and his sister had been revealed as magical, their mother was absolutely thrilled. She was a pure, traditional, pearl-wearing muggle with aversion for anything that would make her best picture slightly crooked on the wall. But she'd taken magic in with stride, happy to see that her babies were as special as she thought them to be, capable of the most amazing things. When Elías had been hired at Hogwarts as a teacher, she'd even cried - she was a teacher as well, and to see Elías dedicating himself to knowledge was good for her mood.

"Thank you, honey," she gushed, grinning at him and Elías brushed her hair out of her eyes, kissing her temple.

"It's nothing, ma. Love you," he stood, putting his plate and mug away and walking to his childhood bedroom, starting to pack everything away as well as the presents he was bringing to Hogwarts.

He was magically folding his jeans when his father walked in, making Elías look back.

"Hey, pa," he turned to him. "What is it?"

"Just - make sure to say bye to everyone before you go, yeah?" He moved to hug Elías, his son taller than him but happily embracing his father back. "Now that you live in England we barely see you. And your family missed you."

"I know," Elías whined a bit. "But I'm not waking mamún up."

Juan just laughed loudly.

* * *

Elías flew in by floo network, stepping into his rooms with his father and mother, who - well, as muggles they weren't supposed to be there but hey, it was just his rooms. They'd been to Hogwarts before, with Dumbledore's permission.

"Thank you," Elías smiled at them as they helped with his bags, his wand waving to put everything back in place, Lourdes as always enchanted by the architecture of the castle.

"Oh, I wish I could see the rest of the castle…" she sighed, hand moving to gently touch Elías' face. "It's very nice, sweetheart. And it's clean!" She laughed, teasing him a bit. "Are we in a tower?"

"We're in the Astronomy Tower, yes," he nodded, smiling at her. "Want to see my window view?"

"Yes!" She nodded, Juan following right behind them after he'd checked the state of Elías' guitar, smiling at the musical corner he'd set up. "Oh, it's gorgeous! I'm so envious!"

"I teach even further up," he explained, grinning at her. "The classroom is  _ gorgeous _ , mama. I'll take some pictures, sometime."

"How do the acoustics work here? Are you able to play?" His father asked, looking at the ceilings.

"It's good enough," he shrugged, approaching his father as his mother looked out the tall, gothic windows, her eyes bright. "Do you wanna hear it?"

"Lay it on me, c'mon," he encouraged, nodding, picking up the classic guitar as Elías took the bass, both sitting down on the couch, starting to connect everything. “What do you wanna play? Eagles?”

“No, no, let’s do Niña Voladora,” he encouraged, playing a few strings of his bass, watching as his mother smiled brightly at the title of the song. “You got the chords?”

“Yeah, all good?”

“Yep.”

“ _ Un, dos, tres, y… _ ”

* * *

It was the music that made Remus stop.

“Oh,” McGonagall smiled a bit as everyone still in Hogwarts left the Great Hall, passing in front of the Astronomy Tower. “I suppose Elías is back.”

“So soon?” Remus asked, feeling exhausted but already gathering strength to climb the damn tower just to see Elías, a smile on his lips. “I didn’t know -”

“Go on, Remus,” Pomona laughed, urging him as he began to step towards the tower, giving out apologies, since they were all supposed to have some drinks at Hogsmeade. “Go, go!”

He was slightly grateful, if he was honest - he was tired and wanted a more calm afternoon. Maybe Elías wasn’t the calmest person around but he knew how to relax, that was for sure. Surprisingly, though, when he approached the fifth floor of the tower, he began to hear a second voice along with Elías’, older and raspier. There was another instrument. And both were speaking Spanish.

Remus crossed it off as the original song and Elías probably using his magic to make it so, knocking quick before opening the door, smiling wide -

Fuck, fuck,  _ shit _ , those were his parents.

The music stopped and three pairs of eyes settled on Remus, who had the sudden urge to fling himself out the fucking window, watching as Elías’ face lit up and his parents looked at his clothes, his scars, his messy hair and - this was just like his sister, another bullet right into his lungs, making him nearly panic at the inadequacy he felt.

They were as stylish as his sister had been and they gave him smiles, but Remus had seen the way they’d first looked at him. He understood. He couldn’t blame them. Elías  _ did _ deserve someone better.

“I’m sorry, I -”

“Remus!” Elías gasped, standing quickly and putting his bass away before rushing in front of him. “What are you doing out of bed? You look awful! You should be resting! Did you eat?”

“I -”

“He does have a rather pale look,” Elías’ mother spoke, her accent much thicker than her son’s, laced with British instead of American, approaching Remus and, to his absolute mortification, placing her hand over his forehead. “He’s burning up a bit! Come, come sit, sweetie, rest up.”

“I-I -”

“Don’t try to fight them,” Elías’ father laughed from the couch, still holding the guitar, playing a few strings as he watched the scene with increasing amusement. “Just let it happen.”

Remus was sat on one of the couches and Elías sighed a bit, also touching his forehead. Remus hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed him until now and it was hitting him hard - his eyes looked really grey in this light and his hair was losing the strawberry blond dye, leaving it much paler than before, but his roots were also showing. He wondered what Elías would look like with his natural hair.

He wore one of those button-ups, too, the one with the sun and moons. He liked that one.

“Mama, papa, this is my friend, Professor Remus Lupin,” Elías spoke up, smiling at his parents before turning to Remus. “Sorry for the unconventional presentation but truly, Remus, you should be resting.”

“I feel fine, don’t worry,” he replied softly, chuckling a bit as he looked at Elías’ mother and father. Gods, but she was almost a mirror image of him. Her mouth and eyes were not his, though - his eyes were his father’s. But he shared his nose with his mother - it was  _ exactly _ the same. Almost disturbing but… she looked very sweet. “It’s very nice to meet you both."

“Very nice to see Elías making friends,” she smiled brightly at him. “I’m Lourdes and my husband is Juan.”

“Nice to meet you,” Juan nodded, smiling and okay, that was Elías’ smile.

Remus was a bit terrified, sitting there beside Elías, knowing perfectly that he was thirty-three, poor, ugly, sick with lycanthropy and very visibly liked Elías. He only hoped his parents and sister hadn’t really noticed.

“May I ask what you are doing here, in the castle?” he asked curiously. 

“They should honestly leave,” Elías laughed. “But I’m staying for New Years and mama said she wanted to help me bring the bags in.”

“You’re staying for New Years?” Remus asked, incapable of hiding the bright smile that took over his face. “Oh, Flitwick will be  _ delighted _ . He’s been talking about the choir nonstop.”

Elías groaned, “Don’t remind me.”

“Honey, you should absolutely go sing!” Lourdes spoke, clapping a bit. “You love singing!”

“Maaaa,” Elías whined, leaning back into his father, who kissed his temple and Remus was overcome with sudden tenderness and slight jealousy, watching this family interact. Elías hadn’t been kidding, these three… they were close. He could see it. “In any case -  _ Feliz Navidad _ , Remus. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas!” Juan and Lourdes directed at him, making him flush.

“Merry Christmas to all of you,” he laughed softly, watching Lourdes and Juan stand, speaking in soft Spanish to Elías as they moved to the fireplace.

Remus stared from the couch, feeling like an intruder as Lourdes stroked Elías’ hair and cupped his face, kissing his cheek excessively. Juan gave his son a tight hug, rubbing his back, whispering something in Spanish before finally pulling away. And Elías, a twenty-one year old man who would normally have issues looking emasculated or weak, took it all with a smile on his face, no shame. Not even in front of Remus.

His parents left down the chimney with a handful of floo powder and when Elías turned around, Remus leaned against the back of the couch, laughing quietly.

“They… were a lot like you,” he began, eyes on Elías, heart picking up. “Why would you stay for New Years when your family’s just had a w -”

“Because I didn’t want to leave you alone for New Years, dummy,” he rolled his eyes, sitting on the couch next to Remus and punching his shoulder lightly. “ _ Duh _ . I had enough of my family, too,  _ Gods _ , the first night I drank so much that I’m  _ still _ hungover. I only remember dancing on tables. I think my sister hung from a chandelier.”

“You didn’t have to come back for me,” Remus complained gently, worried that Elías was pushing away his family to tend to a friendless bookworm who was used to being alone.

“I know I didn’t have to,” Elías shrugged. “But I wanted to, alright? Now - do you want your Christmas presents now or would you rather we make a party out of it on New Years?”

"Christmas pres -  _ Elías _ ," he chided, feeling his throat close up. "You didn't-"

"Have to?" Elías laughed. "I know! I know I didn't but like - I love giving out gifts, okay? It's one of my favorite things to do! And I kept finding so many things to give you, I just - y'know, I thought you would like them?"

"I didn't… I didn't get you anything, though," he whispered, guilt and inadequacy making his hands start to shake.

"Oh, I got plenty of presents back at home, don't worry," he waved it off, like it really didn't matter that Remus had been thinking constantly about him while he was gone and still hadn't thought about getting him a Christmas present. "So? Now or New Years?"

"I'd - I'd rather New Years," he blurted out, watching Elías simply nod and grin. 

He felt so discombobulated, as if he were watching from third person all of this happening. It didn't feel real, somehow. It didn't make sense that Elías would honestly rather spend his end of the year with him than with his enormous, understanding, loving family.

"Remus?" Elías asked softly, snapping him out of his thoughts and he watched, stunned, as the younger wizard reached over to brush a tea away from his cheek. "Remus, you're crying. Are you okay?"

"I'm exhausted," he confessed quietly, even though he wanted to stay up all night and listen to the probably crazy stories Elías had of Christmas and the wedding. He wanted it to be like the night Sirius attacked the Fat Lady, laying his head on Elías’ lap, feeling the way his nails ran through his hair, getting comforted -

No,  _ no _ . He had to  _ stop it _ .

“I should go to bed,” he sighed, rubbing his face, unable to stop himself from saying, “I’m pretty sure I haven’t made the best impression - to your parents and all.”

“You kidding?” Elías chuckled, making Remus look up. “They liked you! And they already did from before, because I told them about you.”

“Well, hopefully if we meet again, I won’t look like such slob,” Remus ran a hand through his own hair and sighed. “I truly should go to bed.”

“You keep saying that but you’re still here,” Elías cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked, unaware of how attractive that made him, Remus laughing nervously. “Go on. We’ll meet again tomorrow morning for breakfast and we can go to Hogsmeade, if you’re feeling okay.”

“I’d like that,” Remus confessed quietly, happy that he could go to town with Elías without having to ask him directly, still sitting on his couch, still watching him, still not moving out of his quarters because he was a fool who fancied a man out of his league. As always.

Elías and Remus sat in silence for a moment, and Remus really did psyche himself up to just stand and leave. It must have been the full moon effects talking, then, when he murmured, “Do you mind if I rest on your couch?”

“Not at all,” Elías replied, looking endeared, pushing a few bags he hadn’t yet unpacked off the couch and sitting at the far end, smiling at him.

Remus felt his ears burn up but he laid on his side, facing the chimney, head on Elías’ soft, squishy thighs and waiting for -

Elías began to pet his hair and Remus let out a long breath, muscles relaxing, feeling like the touch his body craved was sated in that moment. He closed his eyes, relaxing, melting into the couch, feeling Elías move that delightful knitted blanket over him.

“I missed you too, buddy,” Elías laughed, scritching the base of his skull and Remus’ eyes nearly rolled, laughing himself. “Rest up. You can fall asleep - I’ve also got a soothing serum in case you get insomnia from the wolfsbane.”

“Merlin, you’re the best,” he groaned.

“I know.” he chuckled. “And that’s why I’m here.”

Remus was starting to think so, too.

* * *

"...but honestly, what you should worry about is how you're calculating the distance between them, Harry, not which one is which," Elías explained to him, the Third Year Gryffindor narrowing his eyes at his notes and looking way too tired of Astronomy. "Alright, enough," he laughed, leaning back on his chair. "I'm not going to keep teaching you for over an hour when you're supposed to be on break. And you've done fairly well on the first term, I must say."

"Thanks," Potter mumbled, rubbing his eyes, sighing. "To be honest, Hermione and Ron are fighting so I wanted any excuse to be away from them."

"Oh?" Elías frowned a bit, watching the kid fiddle with his quill. "What happened, if I may ask?"

"Well, first of all it's that stupid thing with Crookshanks and Scabbers," he began, looking annoyed. "Hermione's cat keeps trying to eat Scabbers and they're both angry at each other because of it, when I actually think Hermione should keep a better eye on her cat. And - and Scabbers is getting so thin? Ron's really angry and - I mean - they just keep fighting more and more? And on Christmas I got a Firebolt for Christmas but we don't know who it was from, so Professor McGonagall has to test it for jinxed and it'll probably ruin the broom -"

"Wait, wait, rewind," Elías quick said, heart jumping. "You got a what for Christmas?"

"A Firebolt," Harry said, jumping a bit on his chair, eyes sparkling. "It was  _ beautiful _ but it wasn't - it wasn't signed? And Hermione - well, I mean, I understand why she's worried but - but they'll ruin the broom!"

"Nobody signed it? There was nothing else?" Elías pressed, frowning.

"No…" the kid sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I get it. I do. I'm just…"

"Disappointed, I know," Elías finished, sympathy lacing his words. "It could be dangerous, Harry. As much as you and I hate it, there  _ are _ people who want to hurt you."

"People like Sirius Black," Harry said, his voice immediately taking a venomous tilt and Elías was  _ not _ ready to have this conversation. At all. 

"Potentially," Elías replied slowly, watching Harry with a small frown. He'd never heard such anger in him, although it was normal - the man was supposed to have betrayed his parents to the man who would eventually kill them. Still, something in Harry's demeanor unsettled and worried Elías. "You know, I'm sure a thousand people have already told you this, Harry," the professor began, watching the Gryffindor look up at him with already building annoyance. "But your anger is absolutely justified."

Harry blinked, staring, watching Elías as if he'd grown a second head and Elías realized with sudden surprise that  _ nobody _ had told Harry that it was okay to be angry at Sirius for supposedly betraying his parents, at Hermione for telling McGonagall, at Ron for being part of a fight during Christmas. Very probably, Harry had never been told that it was just… okay to be angry at things.

"Is… is it?" He stuttered and Elías nodded, eyes wide.

"Yes! Harry -  _ Harry _ ," he reached out, hand touching his shoulder, squeezing. "Kiddo, of  _ course _ it's okay. You - you're at an age where people take you for granted and want you to be an adult while treating you like a toddler."

"Yes - yes,  _ exactly _ ," Harry nodded, looking relieved.

"Well, I call you kids all the time but because you're  _ my kids _ . But I don't expect you  _ not _ to be angry. Being angry - I'd be angry too! And frustrated! And you're justified. You - as a person," he started slowly, realizing he was teaching Harry a sort of lesson he should've known already. "You've got what you feel and what you do with those feelings, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded, listening to him intensely.

"What you feel is inevitable. Someone says something that hurts you and you feel it deep in your bones - you should never feel bad about that. Because it's how you feel and you can't help it. You feel sad or happy or angry or hurt? You can't help that. Never repress it. Never feel guilty. It's natural to have really overwhelming feelings at your age - even  _ my _ age," he laughed, making Harry smile a bit. "You're angry about your broomstick, and the game, and Hogsmeade, and Black, and Hermione and Ron fighting and that's  _ okay _ . You're justified. And your feelings should be validated."

Harry seemed so relieved, his shoulders lacking tension, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

"But," Elías added, making Harry look up. "You do have power over what you do with those feelings. Yelling, destroying things, performing reckless actions that may get you and your loved ones in harm's way? Not good. And you  _ are _ responsible of those."

Harry had the heart to actually look mildly ashamed, looking away. He'd been so angry, he probably had wanted revenge on Sirius. Again, Elías couldn't blame him for not having the whole picture.

"Talk to your friends. Be honest," Elías said softly, squeezing his shoulder gently, looking into Harry's bright green eyes. "We're not perfect, Harry, none of us. And being The-Boy-Who-Lived I'm sure had put a lot of responsibility on your shoulders - the public eye isn't kind. But you don't have to care about the public eye - all you've to care about is your friends, your family, your grades and your Quidditch score.  _ That's  _ all."

Harry nodded, looking reinvigorated, giving Elías a smile which Elías just had to return, ruffling his messy curls, the kid laughing and pulling away.

"That's more like it," Elías laughed, grinning. "I hope you have a good New Years, Harry. Are you and your friends doing anything in particular?"

"Not really, just the feast and that's it," he shrugged, then; "What are you and Professor Lupin gonna do?"

Elías felt his face heat up and he saw Harry grinning a bit, the little  _ shit _ , making the professor rub his face.

"We're eating dinner with the rest of the staff, Mr Potter, much like  _ everyone else _ ." He mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Are you two dating?"

" _ Mr Potter _ !" Elías hissed, Harry quickly standing with his bag, trying to tail out. "That is  _ highly _ inappropriate for you to ask and it'd do you well not to ask me anything of the sort ever again! Professor Lupin and I are good friends, that's all!"

"Sorry, sir!" Harry laughed into his hand, quickly moving out before Elías could scold him again.

* * *

New Years Eve began with a delicious breakfast in a close table, where everyone who remained in Hogwarts ate and spoke amiably. Apparently, Harry had gotten Ron and Hermione to stop fighting, for the most part, because the three of them were joking and talking as usual.

Elías was watching Harry with a bit of pride, having seen the teen go from venomous to much, much calmer. He looked happy, today, and was taken off guard when Dumbledore turned to Elías. 

"Now, I remember a Spanish friend of mine, and he used to have the most curious New Years tradition!" The Headmaster spoke, making everyone turn to Elías, who smiled a bit, nodding. 

"What tradition?" Remus turned to him, curious.

"Grapes," Elías laughed, making everyone look confused. "We take a grape for each ring of the bell at New Years."

"Oh!" He said, smiling. "That's bound to choke someone."

"Every  _ single _ year," he laughed, nodding. "But it's great! When the countdown starts, I'll be gobbling up grapes."

"I'm sure the kitchens can provide," Dumbledore smiled at him and Elías knew it was part of his manipulation, but he was grateful nonetheless that he wouldn't miss out on one of his favorite Spanish traditions.

It was later, around five in the afternoon, as the sun was setting down on the horizon when Remus turned to Elías, "Was the grape thing real? Not a joke?"

"Not a joke," Elías laughed. "Why?"

Remus gave him a small smile, the snow getting stuck in his straw-colored hair as the two walked through their favorite path to the lake "we could go get some from the kitchens, before midnight," he suggested.

"That'd be  _ great _ ," Elías grinned. "For you, as well? If you wanna participate?"

"I'd love to," Remus said quietly, looking pensive. He'd been very quiet, actually, since Elías arrived and the Spaniard was a bit worried, watching him.

"Did something happen?" He dared to ask his friend, leaning a bit into him as the snow crunched under their feet. "You've been very quiet, Remus."

"It's just been - different," Remus struggled a bit to explain, frowning at his feet, sighing. "I thought I'd come to Hogwarts, back here, and have a place to at least feel safe and sound. That not much would change."

"But things  _ have  _ changed for you," Elías finished, nodding.

"Definitely," Remus shook his head to get the snow out, making Elías grin into his scarf - he did it like a puppy, sort of, and it was endearing. "My full moons have never been better."

"Thank wolfsbane for that," Elías added, almost slipping in the snow but quickly finding footing, the two turning to walk around the frozen lake. 

"And you," Remus gave him a grateful, small smile. "Truly. You've made mornings after much less painful."

"I'm glad I could help," Elías replied, honest and relieved, smiling back. "This change seems positive, then?"

"Yes, quite so," Remus murmured. "Just… I'm hesitant to get used to it."

"That's okay. It's understandable," Elías said quietly, shrugging. "You've had a shit time before September, Remus. I don't think anyone would blame you for keeping up your guard."

"I would've thought you'd be pushing me to enjoy myself," Remus laughed a bit, turning to look at Elías. "Forget about my worries, and all."

"I'd like you to have a good time. Not just tonight at New Years but also in general. But I'm not a child, Remus, I understand that things can change very quickly for someone with lycanthropy. I just wish it wasn't like that."

Remus simply hummed, hands burrowed into his pockets. 

"At least for tonight, though," Elías began, moving to walk backwards in front of Remus. "I'd like you to not think about anything else but having fun. We'll go to the feast, have some drinks at the staff room, and then I wanna take you to the Astronomy Tower for a surprise."

"A surprise?" Remus asked, chuckling. "Troubles await."

"Hey!" Elías laughed, shoving a bit at him, Remus catching his hands before he could. "Listen, I may be an absolute threat to society and this castle in particular, but you don't gotta point it out!"

"I  _ will _ point it out, it's in my contract," Remus laughed back, struggling to keep Elías' hands in his, even when the Spaniard tried to pull them back.

"What contract?!" Elías was giggling too hard, feet slipping a bit on the icy ground, held up only by Remus' own warm hands.

"The one I signed when you apparently decided to become my friend!" Remus grinned, pulling a bit too hard and Elías would've fallen face-first in the ice if Remus hadn't quickly grabbed him by the waist and been dragged down as well.

The two fell to the muddy, wet slush of ice on the ground and Elías began  _ wheezing _ with laughter as Remus groaned, the Astronomy professor clutching at Remus' coat, face buried on his chest, unable to stop laughing. Soon enough, Remus joined and the two ridiculous adults stayed there for a moment, trying to catch their breaths, Remus on his back and Elías half on top of him.

"You're impossible," Remus chuckled, watching him.

"Me?! You were the one fighting with me!"

"Takes two to tango, isn't that what they say?"

"That's for unwanted conceptions, Lupin, not falling on the wet, cold ice!"

"My arse is  _ freezing _ ."

"You reap what you sow."

"Alright, alright, come on," Remus grinned, standing, the two helping each other. "We should get back - it's night already and being wet will surely get us sick and I've had enough of that."

"Yeah, let's g - oh, you're  _ freezing _ ," Elías gasped, and Remus laughed.

"I stopped our fall! My hands were just in the snow! Of course I'm freezing!"

"Or maybe because your coat’s so thin!" Elías sighed, taking his hands and starting to rub them for warm, Remus falling quiet. "Literally the middle of winter, Remus. We'll get back to the castle and try and warm up, yeah? We gotta get ready for New Years anyway."

"You're dressing up for it?" Remus asked, surprised, watching Elías.

"Well, yeah. I don't want to look like an idiot when McGonagall walks in and I'm the only one not wearing something shiny on them."

"I won't wear anything shiny," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, but you pull it off. On you, it looks charming and old school."

Silence met him after that and when Elías looked up, he saw Remus softly blushing, eyes on their hands. He hadn't realized that such an honest compliment would fluster Remus but - well, that was cute. It was nice to see Remus flushing like that and Elías allowed himself to watch him, to enjoy his features, his silvery scars, and he realized that he'd memorized them by now. He'd been staring at Remus enough to always notice that little cut at the end of his eyebrow.

"Thank you," Remus murmured, breaking the silence, still staring at his hands between Elías'. "You… you and your family look straight out of a fashion magazine."

"I wish I did," Elías chuckled. "I appear to only because I love button-ups, is all. And jewelry. But I promise it wasn't always like that. Besides -" he added, frowning a bit. "You don't have to look like - like my sister and her boyfriend Alex to be appreciated and admired. You are. Without fancy clothes or shiny rings."

"You as well," Remus finally looked at Elías in the eyes and Gods, fuck,  _ shit _ , Elías was such a fucking goner. Remus was so fucking handsome. "I think - I want to look better tonight."

"That's your choice to make, Remus," was all Elías said, shrugging, giving him a small smile. "But if you do, I think I could lend you a shirt."

"That'd be nice," his shoulders relaxed. "Thank you, Elías."

"Anytime," he smiled brightly and pulled one of Remus' hands into the warm pocket of his coat, essentially holding it there so it wouldn't get cold.

Maybe it was a little bit selfish and self-serving to do it, because it also pulled Remus' warm side flush against his and he enjoyed every delicious inch of it, his heart rate picking up. 

"That's warm," Remus supplied eloquently, not seeming to mind their proximity as they began to walk back to the castle. Elías didn't think of letting go of his hand, since only a handful of kids were in the castle. They'd already noticed too much about his crush on Remus. 

"I'd hope so, it's the reason it's there," Elías snickered, walking towards the clock tower entrance, smiling as he saw nobody.

Remus' fingers were entwined with his.

The two entered the castle and immediately let out a sigh of relief as the warming enchantment around the walls reached them and, reluctantly, Elías let go of Remus' hand, taking off his scarf. Remus followed him and without even agreeing to it, they both began to walk to the fifth floor, where their quarters were - Elías' on the tower, Remus right on top of the DADA class.

"I'll change up and probably go to the Great Hall for dinner," Elías told Remus, watching him take off his coat and he really had no right to have that profile and jaw - ugh. Not again. "Wanna come pick the shirt I can lend you?"

"Sounds good," he smiled, nodding, walking into the Astronomy tower alongside him and, once he had his shirt, he left to go clean up as well for New Years.


	13. Twelve

Elías fiddled with the new ear jewelry he'd gotten for Christmas from his sister, which had been a bird wing in gold, running up the length of his ear. He only put on the left one, as always, forgoing his usual small wing to put on the big one. He was a bit nervous, he had to admit, adjusting his shirt, buttoning and unbuttoning the top, wondering if it was okay, if his pants had no creases, his boots were fine.

He wore red today, a deep burgundy shirt with maroon patterns, barely visible. He'd also done a bit of his makeup. Fuck, was he overdoing it? With the - chained earrings and makeup and clothes and -

Maybe he could fake sick. Fake sick and not go to dinner. He didn't want to show this to  _ everyone _ , they'd look at him once and immediately know whom he wanted to impress. Elías was trying too hard and the vanity in him wanted Remus to see him but - but not everyone else.

There was a knock on his door, though, and he went to open it, thinking it was Remus when -

Snape stared at him, glowering a bit, and Elías froze. He was completely caught off guard, in a vulnerable moment, and Snape only had to look at him once before he smirked, a condescending look on his face.

"Following the steps of your Fourth Year Ravenclaws, I see," he sneered, hitting right where it hurt, making Elías' eyes burn. "Don't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't you stooping down to dressing like a cheap -"

"Just tell me what you want, for fuck's sake," Elías sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I came here because I know you've been asking in the market for aconite and pulverized black silver - I know what you're doing," his eyes were two dark coals watching Elías, divesting him of shields, slamming against his lungs. "You're a fool if you think you can attempt the Wolfsbane potion."

"I can try, it's my own damn fucking money and I do what I want with it. I didn't ask Dumbledore nor you for your help, I asked the same purveyor of ingredients, apparently, and that's  _ it _ -" Elías replied.

"You won't be able to make it," he cut in, stepping closer, glaring at him. "You couldn't even  _ finish _ my class -"

"Because you  _ hated _ me!" Elías burst out, arms wide open. "For some fucking reason, you looked at me and decided I was a fucking thorn on your side! I was a Slytherin, there were other muggleborns that you didn't bully!"

"Fine!" Snape snapped. "Poison your boyfriend if that's what you want!"

"This isn't about me, is it? It's about Remus," Elías hissed at him, getting closer to Snape to make him uncomfortable, the potions master stepping back, forcing him to give up ground. "It's because you can't get over things that happened fucking twenty years ago, isn't it? Despite the fact that people have changed and the person you hated the most is fucking  _ dead _ ?"

"Shut up," Snape said, dangerously low.

"I know your favorite past time is bullying eleven year old fucking kids, Severus, but when life gives you lemons, you make fucking  _ lemonade _ , you don't use them to make girls cry!" Elías growled at him, hand moving to slam against Severus' chest, sending him staggering. "If you're that fucking thirsty for attention, maybe you should've fucking done something nice instead of calling people slurs and joining a literal fucking  _ Nazi _ !"

"Shut  _ up!" _

"Maybe the reason why you hated me is because like you, I had all the fucking chances to be an outcast. Like you, I was bullied and jinxed and pushed aside! Like you, I had a traumatic fucking experience in school but I didn't end up like  _ you _ !"

"I said -"

"I know what you fucking said, you spoiled fucking brat," Elías gripped the front of his robes, pulling him down to his level, glaring. "But I've been hearing you spew filth from your mouth ever since I met you, even when I idealized you as a fucking  _ kid _ . And it's  _ enough _ ."

He shoved Snape back, against the wall, eyes alight with fury as Snape panted, features twisted into a mix of anger and misery.

"You have the chance to not be a fucking asshole and instead of that, you choose to be one. Every - single -  _ time _ ."

"Excuse me for not being an idealist, impulsive, annoying -"

"No," Elías stepped back, glaring at him. "You're not fucking excused. Do better. Get over your-fucking-self. The world won't stop because someone beat you to the ground. You gotta move on, learn to cope, learn to love life around you. Your misery is not an excuse for your fucking attitude. You're messy and toxic and a bully."

Snape was quiet but he seemed like he wanted to say a thousand things, breathing hard, fists tight.

"I went to you when I was  _ twelve _ ," Elías rasped, feeling emotion clog his throat. "I told you I wanted to be a potioneer. I told you that I admired you, that I wanted to be like you, why did you -"

Elías froze, eyes on Snape, watching him with a different light. He opened his mouth, gaping like a fish, watching Snape as he stood to his full height, the professor he's hated since he was twelve whispering.

"Because of  _ that _ , you fool," Snape sneered. "And even after I tried to tell you to  _ stop _ , your arrogance still knows no balance. You're now hanging off a dangerous  _ werewolf _ and a person who thinks himself so very good but is just as rotten as everyone else on the inside."

"That's so fucking wrong on so many levels," Elías laughed so he wouldn't cry. "Thats so fucked up. You're so - couldn't you tell me any other way? Couldn't you have just - just told me to be  _ better _ ?"

"It wouldn't have worked."

"You  _ failed me _ potions," Elías threw.

"No," Snape snapped. " _ You _ failed potions. If you couldn't get through my class while you were moping about not being man enough, that's  _ your _ problem."

"You don't know what happened?" Elías asked, surprised, thinking that Dumbledore always told Severus everything. "You - you don't  _ know _ ?"

"Know what?" Severus sneered. "That your insecurities caused your grades to drop like -"

"Grim Fawley raped me."

The silence that ensued made Elías immediately regret telling him. Fuck, Snape could exploit that, why had he  _ told _ him? What the fuck was wrong with Elías, airing that out? He was over it - he'd been over it for three years but it wasn't - it changed people's perspectives of you.

Like Snape, he was looking at Elías differently, his demeanor completely changed, tight and alert like an owl in the headlights.

" _ What _ ," he hissed.

"I shouldn't have told you," Elías blurted out.

"A student assaulted you - a  _ Seventh Year _ . When was this? When did this happen? Why did he gradu -"

"No, you don't get to ask me shit like this," Elías swallowed, stepping back. "You acted thinking I had some minimal problem but reality is that you never know what someone's going through, Severus. I don't care that you didn't know, its not a fucking  _ excuse _ to treat people like shit. I won't take back what I said; you're a  _ bully _ . You blame Remus and James and Sirius and  _ Harry _ of bullying you when you were teenagers and yet James saved your  _ life _ . Remus fucking apologized -"

"Apologies mean nothing -"

"James  _ saved your life, _ " Elías snapped, watching his jaw clench. 

"You weren't there."

"No, but I was definitely there when you screamed at me for fucking up my potion at thirteen and made me feed it to my owl."

"That should -"

"That's  _ child abuse _ ," Elías cut, glaring. "Fucking  _ do better _ . Dumbledore can't always protect you from outside critics. And Dumbledore can't keep you company forever. If not for everyone else, do it for  _ yourself _ , you stupid  _ bitch _ ," Elías sighed deeply. "Just do it to not die  _ alone _ ."

"You're no one to tell me -"

"You know what? No, I'm not," Elías replied, honestly, watching Severus with resolve and exhaustion, just straight up giving up on this man. "I'm nobody to tell people to change. Gods know I need to change but I'm  _ working  _ on it. You refuse to see the things that you're doing wrong. I'm no one to tell you to change, pause, reflect. But it'd do you well to take the advice. So there. Merry fucking Christmas and Happy New Year, Severus Snape. You get the badge of honor for being a piece of shit again this year. Let's see about next year."

He shut the door of his quarters, shaking, head pounding and heart in his throat. Never in his life he thought he'd have this conversation with Snape, saying everything he'd ever felt about the man. He'd been such a scary presence in his life as a teenager, it was hard to think that Elías had gripped and shoved him and shouted at him to be a better person, finally, for  _ once _ .

If only - if only he knew back then what he knew now. Not that he was an awful potioneer, not that he wasn't enough of a man, not that he couldn't cry or feel bad about the man he'd thoroughly admired in his favorite field just  _ hating _ him.

Elías pressed his hand against his face, sobbing loudly, trying so hard to keep it in. He hated crying, he hated feeling so out of control and he cried about  _ everything _ . If he was angry or sad or happy or - it always made him cry, it was  _ bullshit _ .

Another knock on his door made his entire body clench and he drew in a shudders breath, looking around for his wand, not knowing where he'd put it last, shit, fuck, his face was a  _ mess - _

"Elías? Are you ready?" came Remus' voice and he cursed quietly in Spanish.

"Y-yes! Hold - hold on a minute!" He called nasally.

"Elías, are you alright? You sound -"

"I'm fine!"

"You don't sound fine."

"I'm  _ fin _ -"

Elías startled as the door opened and Remus - gods,  _ Remus _ , he looked so good with a shirt that actually fit him, some color, the deep, grayish green making his eyes pop, his shoulders more defined and he was coming straight for him, hand reaching for his chin, tilting his chin up, up, up until they were face to face, Remus' eyes scanning him.  Him, his tears and stupid running makeup, his blotchy cheeks and puffy eyes, the way his freckles and acne scars looked and how his nose was crooked from being broken twice. He was watching him close, looking at all his imperfections and before he could help it, Elías was whimpering like an idiot, miserable.

"I saw Severus walking away from the tower, what happened?" Remus asked him, firm but also gentle in the way his other hand moved to brush away his tears.

"We fought," Elías sobbed. "And he got to me. After all these fucking years, he -"

"He knows you, as well. Of course he knows how to get to you," Remus sighed a bit, watching his face with a bit of sadness. "But he doesn't know  _ you _ , just what you're insecure about. He's intimidated by you because you're not taking his insults at face value anymore."

"He makes me  _ so  _ unbelievably angry and out of control, I  _ hate  _ it," Elías gritted his teeth as Remus lowered his hands from Elías' face. "The fact that this man is a teacher and students are learning from him, what to do and what not to do, they're being -"

"Elías," Remus called softly, his hands moving to grip the professor's tight knuckles, unwinding his fists into pliant fingers that he entwined them together with his own. "Breathe."

Elías complied, eyes closing, focusing on his breathing and the warmth of Remus' hands, the callouses from his wand grip, the length of his fingers. Little by little, eight seconds at a time, Elías began to slow down and calm himself, relaxing, shoulders drooping and jaw unclenching. 

"Better?" Remus asked quietly, making Elías open his eyes, nodding. "There we go. There's… nothing we can do about Severus' position in school. But what we can do is talk to the kids, give them caring professors. Give them good advice, teach them that it's alright to fail, that  _ that's  _ why you have to do it again and again and again."

Elías nodded, sniffling a bit, feeling a bit like a child as Remus used his softest voice.

"I'm sorry I'm so upset, I - I just -" Elías sighed. "I'm so fucking sensitive."

"That's good, though," Remus reassured him, smiling. "Means you've a big heart for all those feelings to happen. You've sympathy, even for Severus."

"Sometimes," he pointed out, grumbling.

"But you do," Remus retorted. "So come on - it was just a fight. There'll be many more and with each one, you'll start to realize that he's just goading you into a fight to make you angry and make you lose composure."

"Did you ever fight with him?" Elías asked, imagining Remus verbally sparring with Severus.

"Well - yes, but ah… it was more of a physical approach," he confessed, making a face. "He kicked my arse."

" _ Nooo _ ," Elías gasped, hands over his mouth before an involuntary giggle escaped him. "No way. He won?!"

"Contrary to popular belief, I am not the best duelist. I'm just good at academia," Remus laughed, giving him a lopsided grin. "And Severus is quite a good duelist."

"I refuse to believe you're a bad duelist. That's so  _ wrong _ , noooo, Remus!" He laughed, hands moving to clutch his shoulders, nice and warm under his hands and the thin shirt he wore. Gods, but it was so  _ good _ , he looked so good. "You gotta duel me now."

"You'd have me on the floor in seconds, I'm sure," he grinned, shaking his head. 

"No! I'm not a good duelist either! We can suck together!" Elías giggled, watching Remus beam at him. "I can't believe you'd openly admit that Severus got you kissing the floor back in school."

"Hey," Remus defended, shrugging. "At least I made you smile."

Elías flushed, eyes quickly lowering to the floor, his fingers clutching Remus' thin shoulders a bit tighter. He felt ridiculous, probably with his eyeliner all over his cheeks and his hair a mess.

"Thanks," he murmured, feeling Remus' arms come around him, hugging him tightly and Elías scrambled to embrace him back, feeling his heart beating a tattoo against his chest. Gods, he was head over heels for this man. He should've tried to move on already. Find someone - maybe muggle, maybe having nothing to do with any of this - and just go on a couple dates.

But that wasn't Elías' style. He couldn't really get dates if he wanted to. So he was stuck with pulling away and melting as Remus sent him that private, honest, true smile of his.

"You look amazing," Elías told him, freely and unashamed, hands running through Remus' shoulders to his arms, squeezing his elbows. "This green really suits you."

"Ah," he flushed. "Thank you, I - I was hoping not to look ridiculous."

"You definitely don't," Elías laughed, smiling brightly. "Let me clean up my face and we can go to the feast. We're at the very least fashionably late."

Remus seemed a bit hesitant but he nodded, finally letting go of Elías before moving to sit on the couch, fiddling with his collar. Elías washed up his face, forgoing the makeup, simply trying to make his hair look presentable before moving back to the lounging area.

"Let's go?" Elías asked, offering his hand to Remus to help him up.

Remus took it and didn’t let go, making Elías almost float, his smile wide and his shoulders relaxed as they both began to lower the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, finding Harry and his friends almost at the bottom. The three were headed for the New Year's feast, of course, and Hermione wore a lovely burgundy dress, the same color as Elías’ shirt. A Gryffindor color. But Elías already knew that.

“Oh!” Elías jumped, surprised to see them, Remus immediately dropping his hand and the three kids looked over with smiles.

“Professor Lupin! Professor Fernández!” Hermione froze a bit, watching with blotchy red cheeks. “You two look very nice!”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wearing red, Professor,” Ron told Elías, making him laugh, knowing perfectly that Harry was watching the space where Remus’ hand had been. 

“Well, I thought I’d go all out for tonight. You three look amazing! Any wishes for this new year?”

“To win the Quidditch Cup!” Harry and Ron echoed, slapping hands like a pair of frat boys. Elías dreaded to see them grow into full teenagers.

“To pass all my classes,” Hermione sighed, and Elías felt a bit of pity - he knew about the Time Turner, but he also knew that it was usually to take one or two more classes, not  _ four _ .

“Well, Hermione, you’re certainly doing well in mine, so I don’t think you’ve to worry about that,” Elías laughed a bit, walking alongside the kids to the feast, Remus stepping a bit behind to talk softly to Harry. “And Ron?”

“Yes, professor?” he asked shyly, waiting to be scolded.

“I’m very happy with your exam. It was certainly better than the first one you gave me,” he told him. There’d been improvement, even if he wasn’t doing super well. “Keep working hard, you’re doing good.”

He seemed to absolutely brighten, his face open wide with happiness and Hermione also sent him a proud little smile.

“Ah, thanks, Professor!”

“Today isn’t about grades, though,” he quickly said, waving them away. “Did you guys get nice presents from home?”

“So many books!” Hermione grinned. “New ones!”

“With the nice smell?” Elías asked, a bit excited, having been given plenty of books himself. “Ah, my favorite are old, second-hand books! I’ve a huge library back at home, and I’m actually thinking of turning my basement into a little library.”

“Oh, that’s so  _ dreamy _ ,” Hermione gasped.

“I really can’t believe people like you two exist,” Ron said, beside Elías, making Hermione huff and him laugh. “Just - reading as a pasttime! When you could be outside!”

“I like to read outside, Ron,” Hermione pointed out.

“I just find it boring,” Ron wrinkled his nose.

“And that’s fine,” Elías replied, hand moving to squeeze Hermione’s shoulder before she could start a fight. “Reading is a bit of a thing you acquire when you’re younger, I suppose. I read a lot since I could, and my parents have an even more impressive library than mine.”

“My parents as well,” Hermione nodded.

“So while you can’t really spend time reading like Hermione,” Elías told them, tapping the top of Ron’s head. “I’m sure Hermione doesn’t really think a broomstick is an appropriate pasttime.”

“It’s  _ dangerous _ !” Hermione shouted.

“It’s  _ fun _ !” Ron retorted.

Remus leaned over Elías’ shoulder, whispering, “It’s both.”

Elías gave a laugh as Remus leaned back, Ron and Hermione too busy bickering already but Harry catching the familiar way that Remus had just whispered into Elías’ ear, his eyes taking in every detail. 

The five of them entered the Great Hall, and quite a few other students were already there, enough to have the four tables separated. The golden trio ran off to the Gryffindor table and Elías glanced at Slytherin’s to see, of all people, Malfoy.

He paused, watching the blonde talking to Theodore Nott - head low, shoulders hunched, defensive but open to everything Malfoy said. He seemed really uncomfortable here and Elías clutched at Remus’ arm for a moment, pulling him back.

“Remus?” he asked, frowning. “Has Theodore Nott been here the entire Christmas break?”

“Hmm?” he looked over at the table. “Ah, yes. He has been quite gloomy.”

“I should ask him but… maybe not tonight,” Elías sighed, feeling the impulse to go comfort the boy.

“Maybe Draco has it,” Remus said softly. “They’re pretty close friends. I’m sure Theodore will be alright, for now. But if tomorrow his mood persists, maybe you should go ask.”

“Alright, yes,” Elías sighed, letting Remus pull him back towards the staff table, hand slipping from his arm. “Sorry. I just get so -”

“Protective of them?” Remus chuckled, grinning at him, a bit amused. “Yes, I’ve quite noticed. Oliver Wood, Harry Potter, even Draco Malfoy himself. Who’ll be under your wing this time? Mr Nott?”

“Oh, shut up,” he flushed, slapping his elbow before climbing to his seat, unable to really ignore the fact that Severus Snape was nowhere in sight. Despite his absolutely brutal fight from before, Elías pursed his lips and worried. He didn’t want him to isolate himself. Elías was sure he’d done that enough. 

“Elías, Remus!” Dumbledore welcomed. “Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year, Headmaster,” Remus smiled.

“You clean up quite well, Remus,” Septima told him, making him flush. “Though I swear I’ve seen that shirt before -”

“Is this wine? I could do with some wine,” Elías interrupted, engaging Pomona into a loud conversation about her omnivore ferns growing on the west side of the castle.

The New Year’s feast was wonderful and, as soon as dinner was done, the tables spread to let people stand - move, mingle, talk. Elías got into a very interesting conversation with Flitwick right before the kids that were in the choir and happened to be present tried to rope him into singing or playing something. He declined - three times, gently - and then immediately got pulled over by Septima and Hooch to talk about the Quidditch Cup and the chances Slytherin had, since the next match was Slytherin vs Ravenclaw. Elías was so intensely talking that he didn’t realize the hour and, when Dumbledore announced that it was an hour until midnight, his eyes immediately went around, looking for Remus - and not finding him.

“I… I’m sorry,” he quickly told Septima when she tried to call his attention. “Have you seen Remus? I don’t see him.”

“He left about an hour ago or so,” Hooch frowned, but Septima gave a little smirk when Elías seemed startled.

“What?” she raised her eyebrows. “Can’t be apart even for an hour?”

“Oh, stop it,” Elías pressed a hand against his reddening face. “I just - well -”

“Is there something actually going on?” Hooch asked and Elías went redder. “Because it kind of looks like it, you know -”

“Are we talking about Remus?” Pomona stepped in and Elías threw his hands up.

“No!” he claimed.

“Yes,” the two other professors nodded. “He refuses to admit it.”

“There’s  _ nothing _ to admit!” Elías said, flustered.

“Oh, laddie, but you two make such a cute couple!” Pomona gasped, clutching her goblet full of red wine, eyes sparkling. “I was under the impression that you already were one!”

“No! No, we’re not! We’re just - just friends!” he hissed, embarrassed. “Oh gods… please don’t tell me you went around, asking.”

“No, sweetie, but I have eyes,” she pointed out.

“We all do,” Septima, nudged Elías. “And that shirt he wore was yours -”

“I let him wear one of mine, he wanted to look  _ nice _ tonight -”

“For who?”

“For you, Elías!”

“No!” the Astronomy professor was beyond flustered, covering his face as McGonagall stepped closer. “Not you as well!” he cried out, eyes wide in horror.

“Whatever are you talking about?” she questioned, frowning at him. 

“We’re talking about him and Remus,” Hooch pointed out and McGonagall’s eyebrows raised.

“Oh, right, that. Are you together?” she asked, as if Elías wouldn’t implode if someone else asked him that.

“No! No, we’re not!” he whispered, downing his glass of champagne in one go and glaring at his coworkers. “We are  _ friends _ . Friends, okay? He’s very smart, he’s very wise, he’s got my back and I’ve got his. That’s all. We get along.”

“Remus did always have a soft spot for explosive men,” McGonagall chuckled and Elías felt his chest sink in as if a bowling ball had dropped on it, thinking of Sirius - Sirius being  _ innocent _ . And the man Remus had loved for a very long time. Someone who knew Remus since Hogwarts. People who had a history together - and someone who could be redeemed because truly, Black was  _ innocent _ . “Oh dear, I didn’t mean that in a bad way -”

“I’m a bit tired, I think I might retire,” he whispered, putting his glass down and moving away from the crowd of people, once again so very incredibly emotional but he would rather it was away from the party.

The double doors stayed open as he walked out, passing the open hallway towards the Astronomy Tower and  _ fuck _ , had he ignored Remus? Had Remus just… not been having fun and he’d left the party angrily? Maybe he’d been too tired, too annoyed or too angry to tell Elías? He was worried that Remus had forgone their little get-together later, the grapes and the more private moment he’d been looking forward to, fuck,  _ shit _ , why was he such a bad friend?

“Elías, what are you doing out?”

“Remus!” Elías stopped, seeing him walking back towards the Great Hall. “Septima said you’d left an hour ago, I - I was worried, I hadn’t -”

“I was preparing some things,” Remus said, smiling at him, reaching forward to grab Elías’ arm. “I’m alright. Sorry for disappearing, I actually wanted it to be a surprise.”

Relief flooded him and Elías groaned, leaning into his chest. “You fucking - I thought I was a  _ terrible  _ friend.”

“No, you’re alright, Elías,” Remus laughed, grabbing his hand, pulling him to the Astronomy Tower. “Come on.”

Elías just laughed, following him along, Remus’ grip on his arm slowly fading into, once again, that wonderful hand-holding he’d done before. Elías’ pulse picked up, blood roaring in his ears as he pondered how everyone seemed to assume that this infatuation was mutual. Perhaps - maybe it was? He sure was holding his hand a lot and - and he seemed so comfortable touching his face and arms. Elías could only dream, but -

He tightened his grip on Remus’ hand, entwining their fingers and Elías nearly melted when his thumb caressed the back of his hand. Remus - maybe he felt something. Fuck. Elías felt on cloud nine, his smile bright.

Remus passed by his rooms, still climbing and Elías wondered if they were going to his classroom or office, confused. When they did get to the top of the tower, though, Remus pulled him out to the balcony, where the warmth enchantment had apparently been extended, a round, comfortable floor of grass had been magicked in and a blanket had been placed in the middle. And, on the side, a little wooden board where some champagne rested and two bowls with very obviously twelve grapes each.

It was romantic.

“Remus -” he whispered, about to tell him how flattered he felt.

“I thought - well, you have done so much for me,” Remus spoke, looking at the floor, hand tight on his. “You keep - cheering me up, comforting me, keeping me company, helping me during the full moons, I… I felt guilty that I couldn’t do anything for you.”

“No,  _ no _ , you do so much for -”

“Well, I don’t feel like I am,” Remus replied, finally looking at him. “I uh, asked Pomona for a little grass spell. I wanted to - Merlin, I’m sorry, this probably looks too romantic,” he laughed, and Elías felt his throat close up. “I promise it’s not!” he told Elías, as if he wasn’t making the Spaniard suddenly realize how… stupid he’d been, hoping this meant something akin to a date. “It’s just - me saying thank you. To you. For being such a good friend.”

“I did it gladly,” Elías whispered, heart breaking, walking towards the blanket to have a moment to recollect himself before remembering. “A-ah! I should go - get your presents, alright? I’ll be right back.”

Remus opened his mouth to say something but Elías was already moving down to his quarters, heel of his hand pressing to his eye, breathing in and out rhythmically. He’d known - he’d  _ knoooown _ , Gods, what had he been expecting? Some champagne, the fireworks for New Year’s, a kiss? From an older, more experienced, more weary man who probably looked at him the way a teacher looks at a student?

“ _ Joder _ ,” he groaned as he entered his room. “I  _ am _ a lovesick Ravenclaw.”

He was so fucking  _ stupid _ , though, Gods, fuck,  _ shit _ , fucking  _ fuck _ .

“It’s fine. It’s  _ fine _ . C’mon, it’s not been the first time. You can get over this -  _ get over it, Elías _ ,” he mumbled as he began to grab the presents he wanted to give to Remus. “ _ Ni tampoco será la última vez. Y ya sabes que le recuerdas a Sirius, o sea - ¡Joder! Es que - ¿Para qué me hago ilusiones? Es que más tonto y nazco acelga… _ ”

He sighed, slapping himself once just to clear his head before he went up the stairs, reminding himself that it didn’t matter - he would enjoy himself regardless. He  _ was _ actually looking forward to watching the beautiful landscape of the Hogwarts terrains over champagne. And man,  _ fuck _ his feelings. He would enjoy himself with his  _ friend _ . And no stupid heart of his would stop him.

“I’m here!” Elías said, smiling brightly at Remus, who turned away from the stars to him. Fuck his heart. Fuck his stupid, racing heart  _ so much _ . So Remus was handsome, so what!? Fuck that! “Let’s sit down! I want you to open them!”

“Those are - you got me three presents?” Remus asked, voice small.

“Yeah! I just - kept finding them! I’m sorry!” he laughed, sitting down on the comfortable blanket, dropping the wrapped presents in the middle. “Please ignore the awful Batman wrapping paper, it was the leftover my ma had.”

Remus just laughed, probably not knowing who Batman was, sitting down and gingerly picking up a present, hesitating. “Are you sure -”

Elías reached over and ripped a side open, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Am I gonna have to open them myself?”

Remus just gave him a sheepish look, fully tearing the wrapping paper before finding an  _ extremely  _ soft, fluffy scarf in his hands, blinking at it, feeling it with his fingertips. It was impossibly long as smelled like cinnamon and - it smelled like Elías’ parents.

“Mom taught me how to make them over Christmas morning,” Elías confessed, laughing. “It has - a few too many stitches wrong but it’s wearable.”

“I’m so glad you’re keeping up with the House theme and it’s golden and red,” Remus teased before putting it around his neck, looking  _ ecstatic _ . “I love it. I adore it, Elías, it’s so warm. Thank you.”

“Next, next, come on!” he urged, passing the second present to him.

“Let’s see,” Remus breathed, taking the second one, also a hard packet, which he ripped open to see a CD - the case was blank, no paper over it, but the CD had his name scribbled on it with a pen. “This is…”

“It’s a CD. You play it with a - I’ll have to show you,” Elías said, a bit embarrassed. “I should’ve explained what it was, ah - that is - I’m sorry, that was very muggleborn of me,” he laughed.

“What does it do?” Remus asked curiously, looking at the reflective surface.

“It plays music,” Elías smiled. “Like a record. In this CD there’s a bunch of songs I recorded. They’re all songs that I’ve played and you said you liked. Thought you’d enjoy having them, being able to play them whenever.”

“Truly?” his eyes widened. “Any song? Of the ones you’ve played?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, grinning. “I hope you like them, recorded.”

“Thank you,” Remus said quietly, holding the CD close to him, watching the letters spelling his name with Elías’ slanted handwriting. 

“Now the last one!” Elías urged, pushing the last present into his hands, which he opened to reveal a worn, used, falling-apart copy of  _ The Iliad _ . “This is by Homer, an ancient Greek author of many other stories - but this one’s my favorite.”

“Is - is this yours?” he asked, so surprised, his voice denoting awe. “Your copy?”

“No copy’s like mine,” Elías told him, hands on the grass, nervously plucking blades of it. “I’ve written on the margins, the corners are creased and folded, and it’s pretty much fallen apart but uh… there’s a lot of me in there. There’s a lot of me as a teenager, as a kid, and as an adult. You… keep sharing very intimate things with me - your lycanthropy, your childhood, about James and Lily, Marlene and Dorcas, about Black, so I… I wanted to give you something of the same magnitude. It’s not a diary, of course but… it’s a close look at my feelings and my head through the years.”

Remus stayed quiet, opening the book, eyes running over his messy notes and thoughts, Elías watching him read his heart literally like an open book. From the tower, he could hear everyone in the Great Hall starting to quieten down, signifying the last fifteen minutes of 1993.

“Elías, this is - this is  _ priceless _ ,” Remus whispered, eyes a bit red as he looked up at him. “Why give it to me? You shouldn’t - I don’t -”

“Stop that,” Elías murmured, sitting up straight and frowning deeply. “I know that it’s hard to believe, Remus, but you’re important to me. You mean a lot to me.”

“So do you - to me - but I - I just - I don’t deserve this,” he said, voice tight, hands cradling the book and the CD as if it’d taken so much from Elías. It hadn’t. This part had been easy. It was everything else that was hard. 

“You don’t get to decide that, I think,” Elías laughed a bit, hand reaching to tuck his scarf a bit better, shrugging. “I gave this to you because I wanted to. And I think it’s time for you to admit to yourself that I ain’t going nowhere, buddy.”

He reached for the bowl of grapes, starting to pull the seeds out, Remus reaching to brush something by his eye. Elías politely didn’t look.

“Isn’t that cheating?” Remus asked, laughing wetly.

“Nope! How could it be cheating?! Listen,  _ cielo _ , you try and spit out in the middle of each tang of the bell and we’ll see who’s the fucking idiot. I’ve been doing this for 21 years - pride isn’t worth it.”

Remus gave a laugh, taking his bowl and starting to split the grapes slightly open to pull out the seeds, both finished soon enough and Remus then took the worn, second-hand book, looking through it, his eyes greedily taking in each verse.

“Read it aloud?” Elías asked softly and Remus looked up.

“Why don’t you read me your favorite part?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Yes! Here -” he handed Elías the book and he took it gently, opening it to a very marked and dog-eared page. 

“I confess, I’m a bit nervous,” Elías laughed. “My accent isn’t as noticeable when I sing but when I read -”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just me,” Remus assured him, smiling at him, his hands moving to touch the knitted scarf around him. He really seemed to like that one.

“Alright,” Elías cleared his throat, leaning back against the grass, a single hand holding the book. “I’ll - I can’t really read you my favorite part, but I can read you  _ part  _ of one of my favorites. I don’t want to spoil you certain things that happen.”

“That’s fair,” Remus smiled. “But please - go ahead.”

“Okay,” Elías breathed in sharply before starting to read.

“ _ The rage of hunger and of thirst allay, _

_ Then ease in sleep the labours of the day. _

_ But great Pelides, stretched along the shore, _

_ Where dashed on rocks the broken billows roar, _

_ Lies inly groaning ; while on either hand _

_ The martial Myrmidons confusedly stand: _

_ Along the grass his languid members fall, _

_ Tired with his chase around the Trojan wall; _

_ Hushed by the murmurs of the rolling deep, _

_ At length he sinks in the soft arms of sleep. _

_ When lo I the shade before his closing eyes _

_ Of sad Patroclus rose, or seemed to rise: _

_ In the same robe he living wore, he came, _

_ In stature, voice, and pleasing look, the same. _

_ The form familiar hovered o'er his head, _

_ And, "Sleeps Achilles," thus the phantom said… _ ”

Elías pulled back, closing the book, giving Remus a smile as he leaned in, eyes closed, slowly blinking them open when Elías finished.

“Nothing more?” he asked, almost drawing another laugh from Elías.

“Well, you’ll have it to read it yourself, you know,” Elías grinned, handing the book to him. “It’s a very beautiful story, in the way tragic greek classics are. I never was one for those but the Iliad is very different to all of them. I’ve cried a lot with this one.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Remus promised, taking the copy once more before a magical alarm made them both jump and Elías began to hear the quarter bells for midnight, making him reach for his bowl of grapes, Remus as well. “Alright so - one grape per bell?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded, giggling. “Prepare to choke.”

“Merlin,” Remus prepared himself and Elías turned towards the lake, because it really was the most beautiful sight of all. 

Remus’ side touched his and, for all the warming charms that were placed here, Elías couldn’t help but shiver a bit. Gently, Remus took one of the hanging sides of his new scarf and wrapped it around Elías as well, giving him a small smile when Elías thanked him under his breath.

“Any last words for 1993?” Remus asked.

“I’m just glad it brought me here,” Elías murmured.

Then the bells rang, and the new year ensued.


	14. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.
> 
> So I'm laughing very hard bc some of y'all impressed the fuck out of me by??? Actually reading and liking this thing??? 
> 
> Anyway, I realized part of chapter 11 was cut out for some reason (?) at the end, where Elías' sister makes a debut. It's actually a very important scene so if any of you have the time/energy, it'd be best to reread that thing.
> 
> Anyway, here's the chapter for the morning.

“Look, I’m not saying we should bring one of my tequila bottles up here and get  _ utterly _ smashed but…” Elías paused as he finished his champagne, licking his lips. “Actually, we totally should.”

“In the highest point of Hogwarts? At the top of a tower? Sure, what can go wrong?” Remus replied, eyebrows raising, finishing his own glass before pausing. “Alright, you know what? I never drink. I do it so little. When was the last time we drank?”

“Just that one time,” Elías laughed. “Soooo… okay, maybe not in the tower - inside, then?”

“Let’s go to my rooms, yes,” Remus sighed, standing, helping Elías up before he swished his wand, making the blanket, board and glasses and bowls disappear. “Let’s grab that bottle and go to my place - mainly because I’m hoping it’ll be you who has to get back this time. I don’t deal well with hangovers.”

“You got it - want me to bring anything else?” he asked, pausing in front of his own door, leaning against it with a pleasant buzz already from the drinks he’d had at the party and that glass of champagne. He liked champagne.

Remus was watching him but he wasn’t saying anything and, for a moment, Elías thought that he’d probably imagined asking that question. He was about to speak again when Remus stepped closer and reached over to his face, brushing away a stray lock of his hair which had gotten over his eyes, Elías almost falling to the floor as his knees began to shake.

Remus should really fucking stop with the delicate touches.

“Sorry, your hair - over your eyes. Bring an instrument?” he asked softly.

“Sure,” Elías mumbled, nodding dumbly, walking inside to get some liquor and his guitar. He came out a bit more put together and Remus gave him a nod, gently carrying the bottle as they sneaked towards his room - wouldn’t be good to be caught by students with a bottle of alcohol. Or worse, McGonagall. 

The two of them finally entered Remus’ quarters, inside the castle and with just a couple of windows, unlike Elías’ mostly round, tower rooms. He hadn’t been much in Remus’ rooms, really, it was usually his place that they hung out in. But it was undeniably Remus’.

He sat down on one of the couches, putting his guitar to the side, smiling as Remus seemed to relax a little, flicking his wand for the flames to come back to life in the chimney, pulling off his scarf and setting it inside his bedroom. He came back without the book and the CD, too, and Elías watched him bring two tumblers out.

“Alright,” Remus chuckled as Elías filled his glass. “Happy New Year, Elías.”

“Happy New Year, Remus,” Elías took his own drink and took a long sip, watching his friend. “Any resolutions?”

“Yes, actually,” Remus sighed a bit, looking into his glass. “I… I really want to start enjoying my life a little more. The good things. And stop thinking  _ always  _ about the bad. I want to be a more positive person. A more deserving man.”

“That’s a very good one, Remus,” Elías whispered softly.

“And you?” Remus took a sip, then winced. “ _ Ah _ -”

“It’s  _ Jose Cuervo _ , don’t know what you expected,” Elías laughed. “If we were back in my house, I’d make you a proper drink - daiquiri or margarita or something. Mojitos are good too, I’m more of a rum person.”

“I really don’t understand how you went through school without friends - or college,” Remus suddenly said, startling Elías. “I mean - you’re so  _ open _ . Everyone here likes you, Elías, and you and I became good friends really easily. You’re so  _ interesting _ , you can do a lot of things, so how come you’ve no friends?”

“I can’t keep them,” Elías said quietly, making Remus pause. “I can’t keep friends. I’m impulsive. I do fun shit that I regret later because I was thinking with my dick and not my head. I push friends away because of my insecurities and I often get angry so I don’t get sad and say things I don’t mean. I say a lot of things I don’t mean - my mouth can’t catch up with my brain and my emotions explode very easily.”

Remus watched him, lips a bit pursed, watching Elías with that faraway look that the professor was beginning to understand. Elías quickly glanced down at his glass and decided to empty it, thinking again of that stupid fucking phrase,  _ “It'll be nice to do it again as a free man. _ ” He didn’t want to think about Remus watching him as a ghost.

“That’s… blunt,” Remus said slowly. “You’re aware of your faults, that’s good.”

“Won’t help, really, not when I keep making them,” Elías sighed.

“I disagree, I think it could help,” Remus replied, watching Elías fill his glass again. “I know you feel emotions strongly -”

“Oh, if you only knew,” Elías laughed, eyes up to the ceiling.

“What’s your resolution?” Remus asked again, changing the subject, knowing obviously that that conversation would lead to heavy and somber things.

“To tell you some stuff about me,” Elías spoke up, leaving an empty class on the coffee table, head swimming already. Two full tumblers of tequila in so little time would do that to you. “Like - really heavy fucking stuff that’s going to blow your mind and very probably make you want to break my nose in for not telling you earlier.”

“Is this the one that you were anxious over?” Remus asked, frowning.

“Oh yeah,” Elías nodded, wishing he’d get a third glass but if he did, he’d be all over Remus, very probably. “Gods, it’s - you’re gonna be so pissed.”

“Why - why would I be angry? I just don’t - don’t understand,” Remus frowned.

“Okay - okay, I’m sorry, I just -” Elías swallowed. “Can I just - I never said it because I was pretty sure you wouldn’t believe me. And I’m pretty sure the moment I say it, you’re just - going to change your entire perspective of me. And it happens. And a lot of people don’t even believe in it, and like - it’s such bullshit but - but at the end of the day, all you have to know is that Dumbledore does believe me, it’s been proved that it works, it’s only a lead and not super precise and… yeah,” he took a deep breath. “Are you ready?”

Remus set his glass on the table as well, hands sliding to grip Elías’, making him feel so fucking guilty. He was about to tell Remus that he knew all along about so many things, that he’d infringed his privacy and didn’t tell him -

“I’m ready,” Remus nodded, watching Elías.

“Fuck,” he breathed, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Alright. Okay. So… you know the day I fainted?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t  _ faint _ ,” Elías explained, making Remus frown. “You know how I said Dumbledore had gotten me here to keep me safe?”

“Yes.”

“That’s true,” Elías added. “And the woman who’s trying to kill me is Carrow.”

“Carrow? As in - Amycus and Alecto Carrow, the Deatheaters?” Remus asked, so confused, watching Elías.

“I was the one who got her into Azkaban before she could kill a muggle girl, because I knew exactly where and when she'd do it.” Elías breathed. “Remus, I - I’m a Seer. I’ve the Sight. I didn’t faint, I had a Sighting and it was so potent that I banged my head into a stone pillar and collapsed.”

Remus was silent for a moment, staring at Elías, obviously stuck between disbelief and the evidence that had been presented previously. He opened his mouth, then closed it, frowning, looking at Elías’ face to try and catch the glimpse of a joke.

Then quietly, “Why did you say I’d be angry?”

Elías laughed, a bit hysterically, and brushed his hair out of his face. “Because when I was twelve, I saw you crying in the Shrieking Shack, Remus.”

Remus recoiled hard, almost falling over the couch, eyes wide. “What -”

“I saw an eleven year old boy when I got absolutely bodied by the Whomping Willow. Dumbledore thought that I just had a concussion until I said that I saw a werewolf crying, a student turning from wolf to boy. He knew then that I wasn’t lying, because I couldn’t possibly have known about you.”

“You’re… a Seer,” Remus said, slow and still full with disbelief. 

“James had a little scar here,” he quickly said, starting to spew information, touching his lower lip, near the corner. “He - he uh, he said - he called you _ Moony _ . And you called him  _ Prongs  _ and he said,  _ chocolate only ever matter if it has  _ -”

“...caramel in it,” Remus finished, eyes wide and shiny. “You… already knew? Everything that I told you, that day in the staff room?”

“I didn’t - I’ve been seeing these snippets over the months, as you and I got to know each other,” Elías swallowed. “I didn’t  _ mean _ to see them and - and whenever I wanted to tell you, I’d… I’d get scared.”

“So you just didn’t tell me?” Remus looked hurt and suddenly he pressed his lips tight together. “What else?”

“What?” Elías asked quietly, shoulders hunching.

“What  _ else  _ do you know?” Remus demanded a bit and Elías drew back, swallowing.

“You sure you want to know that right now?” he laughed a bit nervously.

“Yes, I want to know,” Remus nodded, his eyes stormy.

“Your mum… she died of cancer,” Elías croaked. “The last time you saw her was in the kitchen and she collapsed. I saw that -”

“Fucking  _ hell _ ,” Remus stood, rubbing his face hard and Elías wanted to throw himself off a window when Remus said, “What else?”

“Are you sure -”

“ _ Elías, what else _ ?”

The Spaniard held onto his pants tightly, swallowing. “Sirius, uh… he got detention over you, in Third Year. Filch would’ve caught you because you were the tallest and the invisibility cloak didn’t cover all of you. So Sirius got out of it and called Filch over, made a loud ruckus.”

“What more?”

“I know about Sirius telling James that he didn’t trust you to be the secret-keeper,” Elías started to quietly cry as Remus kept giving him his back. “I - I know about Lily letting you in the girls’ dorm so she could cry with you a-about Severus. I know about-t the a-animagus forms.”

“That’s all in the past, though,” Remus rasped. “Is there anything you know about the future? Anything that actually made you scared of me being aggressive towards y -”

“Sirius Black is an innocent man,” Elías blurted out.

And with that, he saw the little flame that’d been this friendship blow out.

* * *

The first week of January passed by like a heavy fog in Elías' mind, watching the ceiling of his rooms, knowing he'd done the right thing but unable to bring himself to feel alright with it. Remus had asked for time, had promptly kicked him out of his rooms and Elías had stumbled back into his quarters after crying for a solid half hour in one of the bathrooms closest to him. He was calmer now, but not less sad, eyes closing against the first morning of the second term.

Classes started today. And he had morning classes for the Fifth Years, since they were studying mostly theory this term, and lots of equations. Maybe that would take his mind off things - the kids. He still was a professor, he still had things to do. It was best for now to forget about Remus and Sirius' innocence and Snape's penetrating gaze when he'd passed by him yesterday night on his way to actually shower and look presentable - like a human being.

Now he felt slightly better. Not fully, of course, but… a bit better. So he stood, washed his face, changed into some proper clothes for the first time in a week and realized just how hungry he was and how much he didn't want to go to the Great Hall and look at Remus.

He went down to the kitchens, got something light so his stomach wouldn't upset and brought it up to his classroom, where he saw and began to look over his lesson, head bent, losing himself in thought pretty quickly.

Elías had done the right thing. He knew he had, he couldn't keep lying to Remus. And he'd already expected him to pull away, anyway, had expected his anger and his denial and everything that was happening now. It didn't make it any less painful. 

On one hand, maybe this was the way to get rid of that stupid infatuation for Remus. It'd put distance between the two of them and maybe Elías would be able to see more clearly that Remus and he could  _ never _ be. And maybe he could have the time now to try and focus on his Sight and figure out who betrayed the Potters, if it hadn't been Sirius. Yeah - he'd take the weekend to the Divination tower and ask Sybill for a blessing on his own deck, maybe some palo is she had to spare.

He began to feel a bit more human as the class began to fill up with students, everyone greeting him warmly - Elías did his best to look the same as usual, giving them all soft smiles.

"Alright," he sighed, watching them as he stood up from his desk, the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins looking up. "Good morning, everyone. I hope you've had a good holiday and a happy New Year if you celebrate it this time of the year. Are you all ready for the first morning lesson?"

"How's it feel to wake up early for once, Professor Fernández?" One of the Slytherins called, laughing as Elías took a long sip of his cup of coffee.

"I dunno, Mr Avanzini," Elías cooked an eyebrow at him, looking over his cup at the student. "How does it feel to confuse Jupiter with Saturn?"

He flushed deeply and looked down at his desk, his friends hollering way too loud for ten in the morning, throwing erasers at him.

"Alright, alright, settle down," Elías chuckled, hands out to the class before he moved to the blackboard, piece of chalk in hand. "Let's begin with the breakdown of this second term…"

Elías spoke throughout the class and was glad to discover that he hadn't lost his happiness for the kids - if anything, he knew them better now, by name, and what they wanted and what they needed. The Slytherins were in a particularly good mood and when the end of the class approached, everyone began to turn in their exercises.

The Astronomy Professor was busy talking to Lucille about her struggles in the second equation to notice the man striding into his classroom, making everyone suddenly go quiet.

"It's the volume, not the surface," Elías explained softly to her, tapping his quill on her mistake. "See? You can calculate it pretty easily."

"Thanks, Professor," she nodded before looking up and blanching.

Elías turned to Severus Snape, eyebrows raising, surprised to see him one; out of his cave and two; all the way to  _ his _ classroom.

"Good morning, Severus," he said cautiously, very aware that the students were all bunching outside of the classroom to look in and that Lucille Moireaux was still just standing there, watching the exchange. "To what do I owe your visit?"

"I've decided," Snape spoke up, standing tall, arms crossing as he looked down his nose at Elías. "That I am quite right about what we discussed during New Year's."

Elías felt his calmness fly out the window and he nearly grappled Severus into the ground out of sheer frustration, his face falling into one of dangerous fury.

" _ What _ ," Elías snapped.

"It's too dangerous," Severus explained and to anyone else he'd look bored but Elías knew he was being calculating. "So I will help you brew the damn potion."

Elías immediately felt the anger inside him take a right turn, dissipating, his surprise evident before delight took over, leaning forward on his desk with a gasp.

"For real?!" His eyes widened, grinning. "You'll help me?!"

"On one condition," he smirked, smug, black eyes on his baby blues. 

"Depends on the condition,  _ obviously,  _ I'm not an idiot _ , _ " he scoffed, arms crossing as well, the two staring at each other, challenging. "Lay it on me."

"You'll have to pass Sixth Year Advanced Potions before I help you."

Elías nearly fell down to his chair, eyes wide, watching Severus as if he'd suddenly sprouted wings. Was this man  _ insane _ ? He had to - fuck, but it'd be easier, wouldn't it? He'd gotten halfway through it, he was sure he could do it on his own. Under his tutelage.

"The whole thing?" Elías asked, frowning. "Is it the whole year of Advanced Potions?"

"Let's narrow it down to three," Severus replied, lifting his hand. "Regerminating potion, Amortentia and  _ Felix Felicis _ ."

Elías pursed his lips. "So. The hardest of the year."

"Do you want my help or not?" Severys glowered and Elías lifted his hand, offering it to him for a handshake, eyes full of determination. 

"Yes," Elías replied, firm and unshaven. "Tell me when and where and I'll perform."

"Dungeons. 8pm every Friday," Snape shook his hand, firm and tight, looking at Elías in the eye. "The first will be the Regerminating potion and I expect you to be ready to start making it on the first try. Review the book, if you must - you may come to my classroom to ask any questions."

Elías just nodded, that tingly, excited feeling returning to his limbs after so long -  _ potions _ . He was - he was going to have another chance, he was going to brew again - and the hardest potions of sixth year!

He quelled his excitement until Severus left, the professor walking out of his classroom and passing by students that were still  _ watching,  _ still standing there, mouths open.

"Well?" Elías asked them all, eyebrow raising. "Don't you have other classes to get to?"

They all quickly scrambled away, the volume of their voices echoing through the tower, Lucille following after her peers. Elías, in a much,  _ much _ better mood, grinned at the exercises to correct, thinking already about heading to the dungeons as soon as his classes were done.

He ate once more in solitude, fearing running into Remus at the staff table, simply grabbing something quick from the kitchens and heading towards the Dungeons. Students were piling out, Third Years, among them Theodore Nott, who was being led by his arm by Pansy Parkinson. He looked as miserably as New Year's and Elías immediately paused, calling out his name.

"Professor Fernández?" Pansy asked, surprised to see him there, and Malfoy's posse stopped in the hallway towards the dungeons. Crabbe seemed to have burned his sleeve in potions today, because it was still smoking something foul, and Elías waved his wand to solve that, getting a sheepish  _ thank you _ from him.

"Hey there," he smiled at the group. "I'm very sorry, do you have class now?"

"No, we were going to lunch," Blaise Zabinni replied, eyes watching Elías through narrowed lids, trying to piece why he was talking to them. That boy was too smart, sometimes. 

"Good, then, I can have a moment of your time - Mr Nott? Would you please allow us to talk for a moment away?" He asked gently and Theodore looked up from his shoes, making Elías' throat tighten. He looked absolutely devastated.

"Did I fail Astronomy?" He asked, voice tight.

"No! No, no, kiddo,  _ no _ ," Elías quickly said. "I just want to talk, if you're okay with that."

"I -"

"What if he's not  _ okay  _ with it?" Draco dared, moving in front of Theodore with a challenging look.

Elías blinked, "then we won't talk. I won't make him."

"Oh," Malfoy mumbled, taken off guard.

"Good, then," Blaise wrapped his arm around Theodore's arm and pulled gently, the group moving forward, Goyle like a tower behind Nott. "Have a good afternoon, Professor."

"You as well," he replied quietly, watching them leave, Pansy looking over her shoulder at him with a hesitant look. She trusted him, she liked him, that Elías knew, because she looked at him with stars in her eyes. Unfortunately, Pansy was one of the kids infatuated with Elías and it made him extremely uncomfortable to think that he'd have to ask her if he could get Nott alone at some point.

Theodore was a mediocre, basically failing student. He was rancid towards teachers that weren't Snape and he talked back and got into trouble. He didn't do his homework and apparently he was having a growth spurt that only made him more miserable. Whenever any professor spoke of him, though, they'd do it with pity and Elías hadn't wanted to pry. But now, seeing the kid like that, he had to.

Elías entered the Dungeons and Snape looked up, not surprised to see him, watching as Elías put down his bag and moved to the second-hand potion books, rummaging through them for the least broken. Finally acquiring one without writing all over the margins, he moved to the front of the classroom and plopped down, taking parchment and quill to start studying.

"You're exactly the same as years ago," Severus announced and Elías looked up with an unimpressed stare.

"Really? Cause I've some stubble now, I was hoping it'd count for something.”

"I meant your mannerisms, the seat you've chosen, that furrow in your brows," Severus went back to dipping his quill in red ink. "It's the same."

"Well, I  _ am  _ me," Elías frowned before deciding to ignore him, taking clean notes in his piece of parchment.

Gods, the Regerminating potion was absurdly complicated. It required three days of brewing in total and an insane amount of ingredients, along with three spells in exact hours. He'd have to keep a close eye on time and make sure he prepared his ingredients with quick precision.

He began to take notes on each step, writing the first before describing exactly why it was happening, head bent over the desk, feeling like he was sixteen once more. He remembered trying this potion, at the beginning of his Sixth Year. He'd taken his first testosterone shot just two days earlier and he was a mess of nerves. He hadn't been able to focus properly.

Now he  _ could _ , though, and he would. He was excited, too, to try his hand at it. Potions was exactly like cooking and there was nothing Elías loved more than cooking and baking. The smell of the cauldron heating up, the sound of bubbling, the humid heat of the dungeons after an hour of working, reminding him so much of the south. He loved the preciseness, the fact that anyone - magic or not - could make potions. An example was his own mother, who knew how to brew a Pepper Up potion, after all.

"Are you not eating lunch?"

Elías looked up, startled out of his thoughts, watching Snape as he stood in front of his desk.

"Oh, I already ate," he replied, putting his quill away and stretching. "Do you mind if I stay here or should I leave? It's just that the library is pretty full at this time of the year and I focus better when I'm alone."

"You may stay," Severus replied, then paused. "What did Lupin do?"

"What?" Elías leaned back, wincing.

"What did he do? You're avoiding him, have been for a week, since New Year's," Severus crossed his arms, smirking. The fucking git was  _ happy  _ about it. "Did he -"

"I was the one who fucked up," Elías cut in, frowning at Snape. "And he's in his right to be angry at me. I kept it a secret for too long and it had consequences."

Severus blinked, "Did he not know that you were born a female -"

" _ Ugh _ , why - why would you say  _ a female _ . That's so dehumanizing - just say  _ woman _ ," Elías almost gagged.

"Fine. Didn't he know that you're transgender?" Snape reworked, looking annoyed. 

"Yeah, he did. He does," Elías frowned. "He knew pretty early on. I'm not ashamed of this shit. Why - he's not  _ mad  _ at me because he didn't know I'm  _ trans _ . He's not like that!"

"He seems the type," Severus scowled.

"Remus? Transphobic?" Elías snorted. "You obviously don't know him."

"I know him better than -"

"Obviously not," Elías glared.

"Why are you defending him? He's mad at you for your - your Sight, right? What kind of fool is he, thinking that you should've told him earlier?"

"How do you know -"

"It's obvious. If it's not your gender, it's your prophetic abilities," the potions professor crossed his arms again, looking deeply into Elías. "So you told him about your Sight and he got angry because you didn't tell him earlier."

"Yeah," Elías' mouth was dry, an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. "You were angry, too, when I first saw something of yours."

"But I wasn't angry  _ at you _ . I was mad at the situation. You can't control this, despite the many attempts," Snape scoffed.

"He said he needs time," Elías murmured, quietly. "And I want to honor his request."

"And be miserable meanwhile, right?" Severus looked unimpressed.

"You're no one to talk," Elías accused, pointing his quill at Severus. "Just let me do my potions in peace. Don't get into - into my social life."

"You two were more than friends -"

"No, we  _ weren't.  _ And we won't be," Elías snapped, glaring. "Fuck off. Honestly,  _ fuck off _ . You're not close enough to me to talk to me that way and make assumptions. So stop."

"I'll be on my way to lunch, then," Severus said after a minute of silence, walking out of the classroom, leaving Elías' head spinning.

He got back to studying, though - because if anything, this was the one thing he could focus on. He'd prove Snape that he was a good potential potioneer and he would prove himself a fully grown adult who was capable of anything he desired. The mere thought of approval from the man who had been nothing but disappointed in him fueled Elías through the afternoon.

When it was time for dinner, Elías stretched and sighed, leaning back on his chair, taking a look around the classroom - it really hadn't changed at all in the last five years. Same trinkets, same smell, same temperature. He enjoyed the dungeons very much, loved the coolness of it, the presence under the Black Lake. Elías suddenly had the thought of visiting the Slytherin common rooms, just to sit on one of the leather couches again and watch endlessly the windows where merpeople passed by. It'd been his favorite thing to do after a hard day of lessons.

"Oh! Is Professor Snape here?"

Elías turned as a student stepped in and, to his surprise, it was Draco Malfoy, watching him with a confused look.

"No, I'm afraid not," Elías gave him a slow smile. "He let me study here, though. He's helping me with quite a difficult potion."

"Alright," Draco replied, nose wrinkling as he looked around. "I've a thing to ask him, do you know where he could be?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Elías shrugged, then bit his lower lip. "Mr Malfoy?"

"Yes?" He turned to his Astronomy Professor. It was strange to see Draco alone, without his friends. They were all attached at the hip. Quite Slytherin, to have such close friends. 

"Is Theodore okay?" Elías asked quietly, worry in his voice, opting for being sincere with the boy. "I have been seeing him quite gloomy lately. I know he has difficulties with his grades but if there's something else, maybe I could tell the staff to let him have a break."

Draco stared at him, eyes slowly narrowing, turning on the defense. "And why would you do that?"

"Because Theodore is not a bad  _ person _ . He's just having a hard time. I can tell," Elías stood, picking up his parchment and quill and book. "I wanted to talk to him, see if he was alright. But I understand if he and the rest of your group do not trust me. Just please, do seek out a professor whom you  _ do  _ trust and don't be afraid to ask for help."

With that, he smiled gently at Draco and began to leave the Dungeons, ready to go back to his rooms and prepare for the midnight lesson for his Seventh Year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. He couldn't wait to see Oliver, see what he'd done with his extra credit and if he'd truly improved. The freshness of the Dungeons dissolved into the charmed warmth of the castle and he realized too late that he was turning the corner on the Fifth Floor when he bumped right into Remus, like old times, back in September. Gods, that felt like so long ago.

"Elías -" Remus breathed before suddenly stepping back. "Sorry."

"I wasn't paying much attention, either. It's alright," he murmured, seeing Harry behind him and quickly smiling for his sake. "Hey, Harry! First lesson?"

"Yes!" He nodded, excited. "We're starting today!"

"Good luck, then," he nodded. "And be careful."

He walked away before he could do anything stupid like actually look at Remus in the eye, his hands gripping his potions book tight to his chest until he reached his rooms, where he almost folded over. But no - he was better than that. He had to deal with the funding consequences of his actions and keep moving forward.


	15. A Change of Pace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really fucking SURPRISED at how much love this has been receiving? I knew some people might read but you all have to know just how much I planned for this to only stay on my google docs forever, only to be shared with me, myself, maybe my girlfriend and that's it. But hey - thank you, to those who have left such lovely comments. And I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

That's exactly what he did until Friday.

He went through classes, gladly gave McGonagall his good news about the wonderful extra credit Oliver had done and spent his free time focused on potions, on the Regerminating potion. It was quite difficult if only because one wrong step would cause the potion to immediately germinate into whichever root wasn't dissolved yet inside the cauldron. This meant an absolute disaster in front of Severus and Elías was  _ determined  _ to completely unsettle him and surprise him with how well he'd done it.

It was also on Friday, around 7pm, as he was finishing up correcting a few essays from the First Years that there was a shy knock on the door of his classroom. Elías looked up, surprised to see the little famous group of Slytherins gathered there, Theodore at the front with everyone backing him up.

"He'll talk," Blaise glared deeply at him, first line of defense between the professor and his friend. "Because he wants to. But we'll be right here. If that's a problem, all of us will leave."

"If that's what Theodore wants, then I don't have a single problem," Elías replied, gesturing at the tables in front of him. "Take a seat, everyone, move the chairs how you like. I've 45 minutes to give you but if you want me to stay, I'll cancel my plans."

"That’s not - not necessary," Theodore winced as everyone backing him up sat around him, Pansy's hand tight with his, Blaise leaning into Theodore's shoulder. "It'll just be a minute, um… they said you were worried?"

"Yeah, Theodore," Elías said gently, attention on him, ignoring his friends for now. "I couldn't help but notice that in New Year's you looked so glum, and your mood hasn't improved much. Is there anything happening? Do I have to be more lenient on your grades because of it?"

"I just -" he swallowed, eyes watering. "It's nothing, sir, my mum just…" 

He went silent, taking deep breaths, Goyle patting his back very gently for someone who flaunted around his brute strength. Elías didn't insist, patiently waiting before Theodore finally finished.

"...died," he whispered.

"I'm very sorry to hear about that, Theodore," Elías murmured back, watching him cry silently with his heart tight. "I'm sorry for your loss. How are you coping?"

"Not too well," he laughed before sobbing, taking the handkerchief Pansy offered him, her fingers buried in his hair. Draco's hand went to his knee. "I'm living with only m-my father now. It's been a d-difficult change."

Right. The known ex-Deatheater. Supposedly  _ ex- _ Deatheater. 

"Would you like me to talk to Severus and Minerva about your grades, then?" He asked, giving him a small little smile. "To be a bit more lenient. You'll have to try and do some extra credit but I'm sure they'll want to help you pass as much as I do."

"You want me to pass your class?" He asked, sniffling. "Why? I've b-been so bad at it."

"Because I'm pretty sure you're not stupid, Theodore," Elías chuckled. "I saw your previous grades. I know you can do better. When I was fifteen, I had a hard time in Hogwarts because of something external. I believe that a bit of patience and lots of communication can solve what could be a stain in your record that you may come to regret. So!"

He gave Theodore a bright smile. "I  _ will  _ talk to McGonagall and the head of your house and convince them of giving you another chance. But I'll need you to go to them and explain as well - don't have to go into details. Just tell them that you've been having a hard time at home and that you'll do better."

"Just like that?" He rasped.

"Just like that. I'll do all the convincing work," he promised, nodding. "Any class in particular that you've been failing a lot?"

"Yours," he mumbled.

"Right, well - I'll look over your work this weekend and we'll decide what to do to get you back on your feet."

"Thanks, Professor Fernández," he whispered, giving out a relieved smile, Blaise hugging him from behind. 

"And just - if you ever need help with anything, Theodore,  _ anything _ that you might be scared of," Elías added. "Please come to me, if you come to trust me. I'm a professor and my priority is for you kids to be safe and have a good headstart once you're out of Hogwarts. Alright?"

"Alright," he nodded.

"Goes for all of you as well," Elías told the rest of the group, who all looked up with surprise written all over their faces. "If you ever feel in danger, if you ever feel too sad, too stressed, like everything is weighing you down? Come to me, please. I'll help you to the best of my abilities."

"Thank you, Professor," Draco said quietly and the sentiment went around the group as it slowly filtered out his door, making Elías sigh deeply, his concern for those kids only growing.

He eventually picked his mood up a bit, walking out of his tower towards the dungeons, feeling tingly all over at the thought of finally  _ making  _ the potion. Oh, it'd be like potion classes all over again! He'd missed those so much.

Elías knocked on the door of the potions classroom and Severus Snape opened it, his outer robes somewhere else, standing in pants and long sleeves. Elías stood straight, watching him back, his notes in hand. "I'm ready," he said firmly.

"Very well," Severus backed up a step to let Elías in, revealing that the desks had been pushed away except for one, cauldron in the middle, space clean and tidy with every tool he'd need. "I will set a timer, and throughout the weekend, I expect you to be here for every key moment that your potion needs," Severus began to explain as Elías set everything up the way he liked, taking out the silver knife and immediately starting to sharpen it, focused. "I will not rouse you from bed, I will not maintain the time that you need, I will only supervise as needed. Am I understood?"

"Yes," Elías nodded, cleaning his knife of shavings before moving on to clean the rest of the instruments with a wave of his wand, setting it down with a satisfied look. It was, after all, another tool in the making of his potion.

"You'll start in two minutes," Severus moved to open the door of the closet holding all his personal ingredients, which almost made Elías salivate, knees pressing against each other at the sight. "You'll use whatever you need from here. If you use a wrong ingredient, I will not say. I'll only speak if the potion endangers you or if the potion is done. Any questions?"

"May I play music?" Elías asked.

" _ What _ ."

"May I play music? It helps me focus," he explained and Severus' eye twitched. "I promise not to play something that might offend your sensitive ears,  _ professor _ ," he chuckled, hand over his lips.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "But don't play it loudly and don't let it distract you."

"Yes, yes," Elías nodded, grinning at him.

"One minute," Severus said and Elías stood behind his cauldron, watching it with happiness and excitement.

"I'll be honest," Elías spoke up, looking up at Severus with a wide smile. "I've missed making potions in this class  _ so much _ ."

That seemed to actually take him off-guard, the professor stiffening and his eyebrows slightly raising before he reigned in his reaction, clearing his throat.

"Maybe you should've had that enthusiasm a bit earlier."

"Sorry, I was recovering from trauma," Elías deadpanned, Severus making a face before;

"It's time. Go."

Elías wasted no time, already trained with what to do first - he filled the cauldron with pure water from his wand, igniting a fire underneath to get it simmering while he walked to the closet and grabbed the things he'd need for the first part - valerian root, North African salt, aloe vera with its roots still attached and about a quarter pound of star grass, dried. There was no powdered star grass.

No matter, he could make it powdered easily enough.

He moved back to his cauldron and turned the heat to something more suitable once the water simmered, adding the valerian roots and then the aloe roots once he'd cut them off the plant. They boiled gently inside and with a breath of magic, began to slowly rotate in the cauldron. It wasn't a necessary step but it would make sure that the temperature was equal all around the roots and their properties would be extracted.

Then he paid attention to the aloe, using his knife to get the inside of the succulent, waiting for a moment as he counted the minutes on his watch. When the eight minutes of boiling were up, he used his wand to pull up a big dollop of the contents of his cauldron, frowning before letting it simmer a bit more. Sometimes following instructions to a t could be dangerous. It was better to be guided by what the potion had to be doing.

Two minutes later, the color and smell was as it should be, so Elías pulled out the soggy roots and put them away, but didn't throw them into the trash. He threw then the meat of the aloe as well as what remained of the plant, noticing Severus move a bit from the side of the classroom. So he  _ was  _ paying attention. Elías knew the plant didn't go into the batch, but he wanted to get all the good properties the aloe had for the potion, and a few minutes in would do a lot of good.

While the rest of the potion was working its magic, Elías went back to the closet and grabbed the pomegranate juice, just to have it in case things escalated rapidly. It was a part of the potion but it was also a stabilizer.

Going back to his cauldron, he grasped his wand and pulled the aloe plant fiber floating about, finding it empty of its insides completely and grasping the bag of star grass, cutting it with the silver knife quickly and throwing it fistful by fistful, making sure that the water seeped into every single cut blade.

The potion was starting to turn a deep green by the time an hour passed and Elías didn't stop, music playing softly - guitar and a single voice, singing along quietly as he dropped in the freshly peeled ginger covered in salt - it'd been staying there for a good ten minutes to draw the moisture out. When Elías hovered it over his potion, he took a deep breath, hoping the reaction would be the one desired.

The fresh root fell into the potion slowly and began to dissolve, Elías face lighting up with relief and happiness, letting it bubble and thicken and change into a lime color, turning the heat much lower and pulling out the stirring bronze stick, testing a few spins to see about the thickness -

Much too thick. He added water, enough of it that it changed into something much smoother, making him nod. The fumes smelled of freshly cut grass and his hair was surely fizzing up, doing crazy things. His face and hands were caked with sweat and, with a swipe of his wand and a little  _ scourgify,  _ he found himself clean.

With a deep breath, Elías began to pour the pomegranate juice, stirring thoroughly with his magic, the potion changing color once more into a deep, vibrant green. He quickly put the juice away, took a handful of abraxan hair and dropped it into the bubbling cauldron, nodding to himself, setting up a magic alarm for eight hours from now.

"I'm done for now," he announced, stepping back, only then realizing how much his back hurt. "Ow."

"Your posture is awful," Severus remarked, walking towards the potion and staring at it intensely, picking up a spoonful before letting it drop back. "Adequate. Might I ask why you added the abraxan hair, when it's not even mentioned in the recipe?"

"Delilah Kingsleigh uses it in her batches," he explained, sitting down, a bit exhausted. "It doesn't interfere with any of the ingredients, you just have to mind the thickness of the brew and make sure it's liquid enough for when it dissolves. It'll give strength to the crops so they can't be torn from their roots, since Regerminating potion smells really sweet and birds often come to pick up the plant."

"I see," was all he said, eyes on the cauldron before he waved his hand. "Come back when you need to. You're dismissed."

"Gee, thanks," Elías laughed, standing, giving a yawn and stretching his pack enough to pop. "Goodnight, Severus, see you in eight hours."

"Fernández, wait."

Elías paused by the doorway, turning to Severus as he approached, hands behind his back, chin tilted up proudly. Truly, Elías was expecting a scolding from him about his use of the aloe vera or maybe the way he'd soaked the ginger in salt but instead of that, Snape nodded at him.

"You've done adequately so far. Don't slip up."

Elías grinned widely, "I won't."

* * *

Saturday and Sunday were filled with nothing but potions and extra credit.

Elías worked all day, every day of the weekend. On one hand, he knew he could do the Regermination potion and finish one third of his sixth year and on the other hand, he wanted Theodore to have a safety net as soon as possible. So he spoke with McGonagall, who agreed with him, and all he had left to do was talk to Severus about it.

On Sunday night he was taking the thick, sloppy substance that was his potion and moving it to a sheet of cotton over another cauldron, plopping it down with his wand holding the heated cauldron aloft. Elías, uncaring of staining his shirt, pushed his sleeves up the best he could and cast a quick anti-burn charm on his arm, pulling the whole slough into the cloth, making sure he got the whole batch. Once done, he put the heated cauldron away and focused on gripping the ends of the cloth and squeezing the green substance inside, slowly straining the liquid.

It was heavy, it was hot and it was making Elías pant but this was the last stretch of the race, he could  _ do it _ . The Astronomy professor squeezed hard, got every bit of liquid from the ball and then threw it to the cauldron it’d previously resided. Then, taking a ladle, he scooped a bit, put it inside a vial and turned to Severus, who looked up from his book, leaning against a column.

“Done,” Elías breathed, walking forward, shirt a mess, arm stained green, hair everywhere and cheeks flushed from the heat. “Here’s the Regerminating potion.”

“Hm,” he said, taking the vial and inspecting it, pulling the cork off, smelling it before pausing. “You threw  _ mint _ in?”

“To boost the growth spread,” Elías nodded. “I’m guessing we’re getting this to Pomona and she always complains that the potion she gets barely makes two buds grow so - yeah. Mint.”

“And how do you know that the mint won’t interfere with the potion?” Severus narrowed his eyes, watching Elías as he corked the vial again.

“Because of the pomegranate juice. It’s a stabilizer - and I threw in enough to neutralize the mint. Plus, it smells better than the usual Regerminating potion.”

“We’ll see about that,” Snape said before he waved his wand, making Elías’ arm look normal once more. “Let’s go.”

He turned on his heel and moved to the doors, Elías rapidly following him, nervousness creeping up the back of his neck. He fixed his hair - tried to - as the two climbed to the ground floor and headed for the greenhouses, a few students watching the scene. Among them were some of the Hufflepuffs who had heard Severus proposing the challenge and they followed, eager to know what was the result.

“Professor!” Lucille whispered to Elías, who glanced at her. “Did you do it?!”

“We’re going to see!” he replied and he watched as a bunch of her friends gave him a thumbs up and whispered  _ good luck _ .

The day was actually rather nice, if cold. Elías held his own arms, not having expected to get out of the castle, stepping into the gardens after the potions professor. Severus then paused, turned, found a flower which he seeded easily, fingers treating the plant gently with the precision of a good herbologist.

The seed germinated after three drops, growing and growing and growing until the buds bloomed, wide and proud, and Elías brought his hands to his mouth, laughing loudly, unable to believe that he’d actually done it. He’d  _ done _ it.

“I grade you an Outstanding. One down, two more to go,” Severus dropped the flower and corked the vial, turning to Elías with a cocked eyebrow. “Friday. 8pm. The dungeons. You will do  _ Felix Felicis _ .”

“Yes!” Elías nodded, grinning. “Are - what do you think?”

“What?” Severus curled his upper lip. “I already told you your grade -”

“No, but I want to know what  _ you _ think!” Elías replied, pointing at the vial. “My method! How I did things, the ingredients I added, my speed? My - I need more than just my grade!”

“I will tell you all of those when you’ve passed all three of the potions,” the Slytherin replied, walking back to the castle and Elías tripped over his feet to follow.

“Wait, but that’s not fair! If there’s something I need to change for the next potion, I deserve to know!”

“When has life ever been fair, Fernández?”

“Don’t you start with that shit, Severus, you  _ know _ you should tell me.”

“You keep assuming a lot of things about how I should teach.”

“Yeah, well, I was once your student -”

“And you are again, it’d do you good to not push me.”

“That’s not fair,” Elías pouted, making Severus roll his eyes, the two of them passing by some stunned Ravenclaws. “Come on, just tell me - just give me a piece of advice! Just one!”

“Fine,” Severus turned around, making Elías pause. “You’re messy. Everything you dirtied, you had to clean over and over and over again. You were sloppy wringing the potion out of the strainer, you had to cast an anti-burn charm when you didn’t need to, if you’d had your instruments closer. The control over temperature has to be better,  _ has to be better _ , you’re careless with it and you adjust as you go, not adjust as it’s needed precisely. And -”

He gripped Elías’ wrist, lifting it, showing the small cut on his thumb.

“You hurt yourself cutting the mint.”

Elías flushed, embarrassed, having expected Severus to compliment him and tell him that he’d been very much impeccable - he’d  _ felt  _ impeccable but he realized that he had much to learn, still. Every single one of his remarks, he kept close so he could memorize. And when Severus released his wrist, he sighed.

“Alright. Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Friday. 8pm.  _ Felix Felicis _ ,” he stated before walking back to the dungeons, making students part. After he left, though, a group of them congregated around Elías to congratulate him, asking about the challenges and why exactly he felt like he needed to do potions.

“I like them,” Elías laughed, smiling at Lucille, her eyes wide.

“More than Astronomy?!” Andrew, a First Year Slytherin asked.

“More than Astronomy,” he nodded, chuckling. “Maybe after this, I can try and retake my N.E.W.T.. I’d really, really love that.”

“Well, good luck, Professor Fernández!” they all wished him, looking like - they genuinely did like him. The idea that all these kids actually respected and enjoyed him as a professor nearly made Elías bawl, so he scolded a few of them before they could get detention for staying past curfew and left to get to his tower, trying to scourgify his shirt on the way.

His shirt, apparently, was a lost cause and he sadly had to move it to the bottom of his wardrobe, but his week started well. On Monday, he picked an early breakfast and read on  _ Felix Felicis _ in the empty library, excited to begin that particular potion. It only took a single day to brew but it was almost 12 hours of working. There were a lot of very precise instructions and it was easy to get confused, mixed up, and fuck it up. For the rest of the day, he studied the book about the creation of  _ Felix Felicis _ and then tended to his classes - which went pretty well, considering the awful winter storm outside.

* * *

On Tuesday, he studied each of the properties of each ingredient for  _ Felix Felicis _ and, confused about the Occamy eggshells - and remembering Theodore’s request for classes to be more lenient - he decided to head to the Dungeons, hopefully able to catch Severus after his classes were done.

Funnily enough, the Third Years were there and he waited patiently by the door as Severus explained the Shrinking Solution and where it’d originated. The students didn’t seem to notice Elías at first, at least most of them. Theodore Nott did, though, and he looked up at him and gave a small smile, waving. That’s when Severus turned, lips pursed.

“Your ability to interrupt ongoing classes must be an artform to you, Professor Fernández,” he hissed lowly and Elías cocked an eyebrow.

“I dunno, I’m pretty sure the class was supposed to end five minutes ago?” he pointed out, looking at his watch, and the kids perked up.

“I decide when the class ends,” Severus snapped at the students, who all sat back down. “Anything else to add, since you’re feeling so  _ chatty _ as you intrude?”

“Nope,” he grinned, wide and cheeky. “Finish up.”

Snape glowered at him but continued the class - for ten more minutes. Elías was sure he was doing it on purpose. But he waited, patient and a bit interested in what he was saying, even though Elías knew already about the Shrinking Solution. Hermione, on the first row, was taking notes furiously and Harry, right behind her, sitting next to Ron was eying Elías with worry and a bit of confusion. 

Once the class was finally dismissed, students began to flood out, the golden trio pausing in front of Elías.

“What are you doing here, Professor Fernández?” Ron asked, hoisting his bag up his shoulder. “I wouldn’t think of you being ever in the Dungeons.”

“I was sorted into Slytherin, Mr Weasley,” Elías cocked an eyebrow and Ron flushed, nodding as Harry came a bit closer.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, looking worried and Elías blinked.

“Why, yes, it is - Theodore! Hey, Theodore,” he smiled as the Slytherins passed by, Pansy giving Elías a brilliant smile and Draco glaring at Harry before smiling at Elías. “How are you doing this week?”

“Better, sir,” he said, though he glanced sideways at the Gryffindors. “Are you going to talk to Professor Snape, then?”

“Yes, that’s one of the reasons I’m here,” he nodded, patting his shoulder. “You guys enjoy lunch, alright?”

“Alright.”

“Good luck with your potion this Friday,” Pansy added, waving at him, and the Gryffindors looked utterly perturbed.

“What potion?” Hermione asked.

“None of your business,” Severus hissed at the three of them, making them scurry out, Elías giving Snape a little eye roll.

“Why’d you have to scare them away, huh?”

“Nosy little gits,” he murmured, closing the classroom door once the kids were all out. “What do you need?”

“Two things,” Elías raised his hand to indicate two fingers, wiggling them. “The first, can you be more lenient when grading Theodore Nott?”

Snape watched him, a frown on his face, eyes taking in his features before he turned around, moving through the classroom, picking up the remains of potion spills and ingredient shells with his wand. “Why would I be more lenient towards Mr Nott when he’s not even attempted to pay attention a single day in my class for over four months?” 

“Because his mother fucking died, that’s why,” Elías replied and Severus paused, turning to look at him, as if Elías would lie about shit like that.

“Did she?” he asked, voice quieter.

“He’s heartbroken. Has to live with a shit father, apparently. So I’ve been speaking to McGonagall and the rest of the staff to try and see how he can get his grades up, little by little. He’s already agreed to come during some afternoons to my office and make up for lost time. If you wanted the same, I’m sure he’d accept,” Elías explained, walking towards Severus, sighing. “He genuinely is having an awful time and I just want that kid to not throw it away -”

“The way you did?” Severus finished, making Elías - actually, it hurt. That hurt and he winced. “You want to give him the chance you didn’t have.”

“Teenagers and children are emotional and misbehave. They lash out and they don’t always realize the consequences of their actions. So far I’ve had five students who were either acting up or flunking because of distractions or other external issues - I have given those kids extra credit and they’ve all pulled through,” Elías explained, finally seeing the potions master turn around and face him. “All I’m asking for is - just please, think about it. It would mean a lot to that kid to be given a second chance.”

“He’s disruptive,” he curled his upper lip.

“He’s  _ thirteen _ ,” Elías insisted. “He doesn’t know how to grieve.”

“He’s been like this all year,” Severus retorted. “And the previous two, though I’ll admit his grades were somewhat better than this particular one.”

“Well, he wants to work on getting better. I say we give him some leniency and see where he goes from there,” Elías replied, shrugging.

“Must you always be like this?” Severus snapped right in his face but Elías held fast, eyes dark and brow furrowed with intent. 

“This  _ what _ ? Helpful to children?”

“Altru _ istic _ .”

“I’m a fucking  _ teacher _ ,” Elías told him, poking his index finger against his chest. “And so are  _ you _ . Don’t you want that kid to succeed? To grow to a better person? To understand that his mother would’ve probably wanted him to move forward and have a normal life, not one ruined by the death of one of his protectors?”

Severus stayed quiet, staring at him still, not saying a word and Elías sighed, hand dropping to his side, the other one running through his hair.

“Alright, fine, do whatever -”

“He’ll have to redo his essays,” Severus cut him off and Elías looked up at him, eyes wide. “And I want them done by June. All of them, from the first term. He will not skip any classes and I don’t want him to make a ruckus ever again.”

“Yes!” Elías nodded, hands clasped together. “Yes, yes, yes, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won’t regret it!”

He wanted to  _ hug _ Severus but he held back, watching the man rub the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Elías couldn’t bring himself to care when Theodore was being given another chance, the kid would be so happy. 

“What was the other thing?” Severus asked and Elías blinked, humming.

“Hmm?”

“You said that was one of the reasons you came here. What is the other?” he crossed his arms, sighing. “I do not want to miss lunch.”

“Oh, we can go while you answer my question,” Elías said, not wanting to hold him in the dungeons, opening the door. “What’s the Occamy egg for in  _ Felix Felicis _ ?”

“Ah, the potion,” he seemed to relax a bit and Elías wondered what he’d been expecting. Severus put his wand back on his sleeve and followed up the stairs after Elías, starting to explain, his voice smooth. As much as Elías hated to admit it, Severus was a very good orator. Most of everyone in the Hogwarts staff was - except Binns. Binns was awfully boring. “The Occamy egg has multiple properties that we’ve to focus on. The first is the silver of the egg, which brings the fornute and monetary gain into play.”

“I guessed that part, but I didn’t know why it had to be added after the thyme tincture,” Elías frowned, the two walking out of the dungeons and towards the Great Hall. “The thyme has to truly penetrate the potion and by then it’s thickened a lot. Wouldn’t the egg mix poorly in those conditions?”

“That’s exactly what you want, though,” Severus explained, cocking an eyebrow at him. “What’s the next step after adding the crushed egg?”

Elías hesitated, scrunching up his face in thought, stepping closer to avoid some scurrying Gryffindors on their way to lunch. “I… I think it’s the drying? Is it the drying of the mixture?”

“It’s the drying of the mixture,” Severus nodded. “For two hours, you let the potion turn solid, the Occamy egg shell powder inside, but why do you keep it in instead of -”

“Because it dries it quicker!” Elías gasped, snapping his fingers, eyes wide as Severus nodded. “Right! Otherwise the potion would take so much longer to brew!”

“About thirteen more hours,” the potions professor calculated as the two walked through the threshold of the Great Hall. “Which is preposterous when you can simply use the powdered egg shells to dry it faster.”

“Then you crack it, add the water, and it doesn’t become volatile because you already let the powder be permeated with the thyme while dry! That’s genius!” Elías laughed, grinning at Severus. “Budge was incredible. Insane and vengeful and absolutely bonkers - but a genius.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew about his experiments with diamond cauldrons,” Snape rolled his eyes, huffing. “Absolutely idiotic.”

“Diamond has really good properties, though,” Elías frowned. “Makes sense to make it into a cauldron instead of trying to infuse a potion with diamonds.”

“Diamond isn’t a good conductor, though, and it has too many variations to be a stable product to mass produce for potion making,” Severus replied, climbing up to the staff table and Elías  _ just _ realized that he’d walked into the Great Hall when he sat down and realized, immediately, that Severus would walk to the other side of the table and Remus was sitting right beside him.

His breath hitched, not wanting to sit here, not wanting to see him, not wanting his heart to squeeze inside his chest and panic flash in his eyes. He began to think of excuses, of telling everyone that he suddenly felt faint, or very tired, or -

“Do not sit there, I still need to explain the reason why you need to to burn the hemlock, Fernández,” Severus said coldly, gripping his arm and dragging him to the extreme opposite of the table, putting him in the corner and all Elías could do was blink and try and breathe. “Sit. Give me a list of all the ingredients for  _ Felix Felicis _ .”

“I -” Elías swallowed, blinking at his plate, eyes straying to the left side of the table, where Remus -

“Don’t give him the satisfaction,” Severus snapped quietly, making Elías sit straight, flushing. “You’re too obvious.”

“Oh my Gods, you’re helping me. You’re actually helping me,” Elías laughed into his hand, incredulous, turning to Severus. “What has the world come to?”

“I didn’t want a spectacle,” Snape let his eyes roll back, taking his goblet and filling it. “It would’ve been pathetic, given me second-hand embarrassment.”

“Sure,” Elías smirked at him. “You can claim all those things, Severus, but I’m starting to think that you  _ actually  _ enjoy having me around.”

“You’re projecting,” the wizard made a disgusted face, busying himself with the goblet. “Why would you even come here to eat lunch if you did not want to run into him?” 

“Because I’m fucking stupid and didn’t realize he’d be here until now, but I mean,” Elías raised his own eyebrows and took his own sip of water, kind of laughing. “That’s not really a surprise. We already knew I was stupid.”

“Daft.”

“What others may call a fool.”

“An absolute dunce.”

“You name it,” Elías pointed his fork at him before taking a bite, not really hungry but going through it, knowing that he hadn’t eaten a lot in the past week. “I will speak to Theodore today, after lunch, but I’d really appreciate it if you could talk to him as well? Lay down the rules clearly for him?”

“No,” he replied dryly. “You got yourself into this mess, you talk to him.”

“You’re  _ Head of Slytherin _ ,” Elías hissed at him, frowning. “You’ve -”

“You’re the one doing extra for him. Pull your weight,” he replied and Elías grumbled under his breath, not believing the audacity of this fucking guy. “And I still want to hear the list of ingredients for  _ Felix Felicis _ .”

“Fine,” Elías rolled his eyes, starting from the beginning, distracted enough that he didn’t notice the pair of green eyes on him for the rest of lunch.


	16. Of Cauldrons and Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, have some gratutuous potion-making because I'm a need that really wishes potions was real.

“You have two minutes,” Severus stated, standing in front of his cauldron, Elías behind it, body ready for twelve hours of gruelling potion-making. To Elías’ surprise, Harry was in the classroom, apparently in detention, cleaning glass phials with a tiny toothbrush at the very back where the phial and glasses closet was, his eyes straying to Elías. “Do not give him attention,” he snapped at the Astronomy professor.

“Do I get extra points if I don’t?” Elías grinned.

“You get  _ kicked out _ if you do,” Severus snapped.

“Fine, then,” Elías sighed, rolling his neck, wearing a comfortable v-neck today and some jeans, very much casual for what he usually wore. No rings, either, since he had to do some hand work - but he was wearing his usual jewelry otherwise. He’d gotten some strange looks about his outfit on the way. Very muggle of him. “Will you have a watch or do I have to keep mine?”

“Yours,” Severus replied. “Depend only on yourself, not me, to guide you. I won’t say anything unless you’re in danger or until you’re finished, as agreed when brewing the previous potion. Shall you need any ingredient -”

“I know,” Elías cut him off, but gently, giving him a nod. “Alright… I’m ready.”

“Fifteen seconds.”

Elías timed his watch, nodding, putting it to the side.  _ Felix Felicis _ was an incredibly precise potion and probably the hardest of the three. He’d been studying nonstop and he’d very,  _ very _ much convinced himself that if he could just keep up with the timing, it’d be impeccable. He’d been practicing his cutting technique, too, and he felt confident that he could keep his station a bit cleaner.

“Three, two, one - go.”

Elías moved to the supply closet after lighting the fire with a wave of his wand, gripping an Ashwinder egg, a horseradish, three fire seeds, the cloves and the squill bulb, which he’d have to juice, even though that was the second step. The process of picking up everything took about fifteen seconds, enough for the bottom of the cauldron to heat up appropriately. Elías threw in the cloves and fire seeds, letting them roast, using the long, flat-end spoon he’d placed on the table to shift them around, making sure they were done evenly.

Once nice and toasted, Elías poured in the water for the potion, filling it while he prepped the horseradish for cutting. The moment he began, though, he realized just how little juice it was produced and for a second, he panicked, eyes looking up at Snape only to realize that his two coal eyes were on him already, watching, calculating and analyzing his every move.

Eyes still on Severus, he raised his wand and  _ accio’ed  _ the grater that rested under Severus’ desk, getting to work on grating the horseradish. He hadn’t practiced this, he’d practiced his cutting work but no matter. He’d make do.

The horseradish, grated and juicier now, went into the cauldron and Elías cleaned quickly the grater, putting it away but at arm’s reach. Looking at the clock, he coordinated everything and began to juice the squill bulb - flat part of the knife, give a nice hit with the heel of his hand and  _ press _ , noticing that the bulbs were fat and healthy with juice. That was perfect, he wouldn’t have to grate them, he could just throw them into mortar and get the juice out for ten seconds. Pressing with the pestle, he counted with his eyes on the clock, immediately moving back to the cauldron once the last second ticked, throwing in the ashwinder egg and turning the heat to a maximum, the water bubbling as the color changed from similar to an intense black tea to a furious, neon red.

Perfect. That was  _ perfect _ .

He let his magic very slowly stir the mixture clockwise as he checked his bulbs, pressing a few more times before dropping the juice to the mixture after thirty seconds had passed, his hand rushing to the mixing stick and stirring with vigor, counting under his breath, doing ten spins clockwise, ten spins counterclockwise. Elías let it happen for a good ten minutes, his arm straining but he couldn’t do it with magic because he wouldn’t notice if the density of the mixture was  _ off _ . Which he noticed immediately when the ten minutes were up, heart rising to his throat until he remembered to check the temperature, rolling it down to simple embers and sighing when the now thicker potion began to behave better. Fucking ashwinder eggs.

He had enough time, now that the mixture had to simmer for twenty minutes, to grab the murtlap and roll and flex his right arm, his left hand massaging the muscle before he focused on precisely cutting the back of the murtlap, anemone-like and slippery. The good thing was that his station was clean - he’d been careful with his ingredients and he only had to swipe his wand once, smiling to himself, feeling a bit of improvement. When he looked up to see if Severus had noticed, he noticed a quick curl of his lips before it quickly dissolved into a glare.

“Pay attention to the time, Fernández,” he scolded and Elías flushed.

“Yes, yes! Five minutes for the murtlap,” he nodded, watching the clock avidly.

“What’s he brewing?” Harry asked, aloud as he walked into the classroom again to grab some more soap, and Snape looked up to glare at the kid.

“None of your business, Potter,” he barked. “I want those phials clean and if I see a single spot in them, you’ll be back here tomorrow.”

“ _ Felix Felicis _ ,” Elías told Harry.

“Fernández!”

“What? The kid is getting interested in potions! You should encourage that!”

“He’s in  _ detention _ .”

“A good opportunity to learn knows no good timing,” he recited before moving back to his cauldron, dropping the murtlap skin, watching the potion immediately shift into a deep blue-green color. He added heat, the mixture turning extremely liquid now, losing all the thickness it’d previously had and starting to smell like a bad run into a perfume store. “Alright. Three hours of boiling.”

“Don’t take your eyes off it,” Snape warned, standing to move over to the cauldron, eyes running all over it, smelling it and stirring it, lifting a ladle to look at it in the light. “...very well, you may rest for a bit.”

“I’m sorry, did I just hear a compliment?” Elías grinned at him, crossing his arms, a twinkle in his eye. He was damn proud of himself, that’s what he was. He’d thought that he’d struggle so much with these yet they came so easily. He hadn’t lost his potioneer spark.

“A warning,” Snape glowered, moving back towards his desk. “You’re doing good so far, don’t get distracted and have a disaster between your hands. Remember that this potion is volatile.”

“Amortentia is worse,” Elías scoffed, moving to sit on top of one of the desks near Severus, eyes scanning the book the potions professor was reading. “Is that a Hipworth book?”

“From the Eyes of a Potioneer,” Snape turned his book in his hands, showing him the title. “It’s the library’s copy. Mine was ruined by Mr Potter today in class.”

“Oops,” Elías laughed, looking over at Harry, who gave him a sheepishly look and cleaned a bit harder. “Bah. An accident -”

“Which shall never repeat itself,” Snape finished, sitting down on his desk before his eyes settled on Elías again, pondering. Elías watched his potion bubble and evaporate slowly in the golden cauldron, legs swinging a bit, since he was so short. Then, “I talked to Mr Nott.”

Elías turned to him, face changing into one of happiness. “Oh! Did you?”

“I lay down the rules for his upcoming afternoon studies. We have agreed on Tuesdays, since you have taken Wednesdays with him.”

“Thank you, Severus,” Elías said softly, honestly, giving him a kind smile. “I bet he was very grateful.”

“... he was,” Severus sighed, leaning back on his chair, watching Elías, then frowning. “Did you eat dinner?”

“Huh?” Elías blinked. “Oh, um - I was revising but I ate something quick -”

“You always say that,  _ something quick _ ,” he looked straight through him and Elías recoiled a bit. “What does something quick mean?”

“Like - a fruit -”

“For  _ dinner _ ?”

“I was nervous!”

“About what?” Severus looked over at the potion. “Regardless of your methods and the mess you leave behind, your skills have been impeccable. I have barely recognized you during these two weeks - gone is the sloppy boy who dropped his ingredients on the floor. You can even wield your knife with precision. Why the nervousness over Sixth Year Advanced Potions?”

“Because I don’t want to let you down -  _ again _ , obviously,” Elías responded with a crack in his voice, making him swallow. “You yelled at me in front of the entire class. You made me feel like I’d never in my life done potions well and you were just telling me, then, that it’d been a waste of time.”

“I never said -”

“You told me that I was wasting your time in that class,” Elías murmured, frowning. “Did you not think that’d make me drop out?”

“I thought you were stronger than -” Severus cut himself off, sighing, his fingers rubbing at his temple. “That’s not the right word.”

“I was never the best Slytherin,” Elías laughed. “You can definitely say that. Everyone else took your word beatings and let them roll off their back. I never could.”

“That’s not a good thing, either,” Severus told Elías with a deep frown. “It means my words have no impact on them. Unless I use especially hard language, they won’t penetrate.”

“You sure left an impact on me,” Elías said dryly.

“You never were the type of Slytherin I could predict,” Severus admitted. “Not the  _ best _ Slytherin. There’s no right or wrong way to be one. You’re not a wordsmith, or an aristocrat - you’re not someone to verbally spar and you’re not a person who ever felt the need to gain power or money. You don’t want the glory that most Slytherins dream of.”

“Then what the hell made me a Slytherin?” Elías asked weakly, watching the floor. “I  _ never _ knew what did. It - it drives me insane sometimes. I want to be proud of my house, of the person I am, the man I’ve become but I… what if I was sorted into the wrong h -”

“Don’t be absurd,” Severus stood, walking over to him, his wand lifting Elías’ chin from the floor, glaring. “Don’t hunch your shoulders like that. Don’t look at the floor like a dejected teenager. You said it yourself, you’re a man now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Elías croaked.

“And you’re a Slytherin,” Severus lowered his wand but Elías stayed with his chin up. “I am very sure of it.”

“Why?” Elías dared, standing, watching his old potions professor return to his desk. “Is it my stubborn selfishness or the fact that I would rather throw myself off a window than be a Gryffindor?”

Severus’ lips curled with an actual smile and Elías laughed.

“No, you fool,” he gestured at him. “Don’t you see? You wanted to brew that potion for Lupin and now you’re here, in the Dungeons, brewing three advanced potions so you can get to those lessons. They’re highly sophisticated and take a lot of time. Yet you decided that your goal had to be met. Your ambition and drive is what makes you a Slytherin.”

“Oh,” Elías said, ever so eloquently, watching the man with growing satisfaction, realizing that he was  _ right _ . “O-oh…”

“That’s why I was so - so  _ flummoxed _ by you just giving up advanced potions,” Severus sighed, frowning deeply at Elías. “You were full of drive and then you -”

“Weren’t,” Elías made a face. “Yeah, that’s what happens when - you know.”

An uncomfortable silence ensued, broken only by the bubbling of the  _ Felix Felicis _ in the works, Elías turning to look at it. When he approached, he found it starting to deepen into an almost black color, which was good. That was how it was supposed to go.

“Did Lupin bother you again?”

Elías sighed, rolling his eyes a bit. “He’s not  _ bothering  _ me. In any case, it’d be backwards.”

Severus didn’t look convinced, eyebrows raising at Elías, “He’s not talking to me.”

“What?” Elías frowned, almost recoiling.

“I handed him his potion each day of the week. He did not say anything - no hello, no thank you, nothing. He’s acting like a child.”

“He’s having a bad week, you do that on a daily basis,” Elías deadpanned, rolling his eyes, checking his notes for the  _ Felix Felicis _ , bored already of Severus’ attitude. He was only picking fights because he hated Remus. 

“He’s jealous.”

Elías slapped his parchment on the table, turning to Severus. “Would you  _ stop that _ ? I get it, ha ha, funny young guy has a crush on the older professor. Are we past school yard bullying now?” he snapped.

“I was not making fun of you,” Snape scowled. “I was merely pointing out a fact.”

“He’s not  _ jealous _ , he’s  _ angry  _ at me!” he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Gods, it’s like talking to a wall when it comes to Remus. You truly don’t get it, do you? I fucked up. He asked for time. Just  _ stop _ talking about him.”

“If you knew what he’d done -”

“Oh, but I know,” Elías reminded him. “And I know what  _ you  _ have done.”

He eyed his left arm very obviously and Severus hastily went back to his book, face twisted into frustration and anger but Elías ignored him, having had enough of his stupid fucking childish logic. He wanted nothing to do with his past trifles and his school manias. 

“I am going to go get a book from my rooms,” he announced, looking over the potion. “I will be back in no time. The potion is going adequately.”

* * *

Harry was still there when Elías came back, the Astronomy professor getting a glance of his dark skin inside the supply closet. He wondered if Harry had heard his conversation with Severus but decided he'd rather not think about it, sitting down in front of his potion, now black and reduced.

"Two hours left," he sighed, opening his book and just relaxing, at least able to sit down, silence taking over the potions class.

Oh but he loved it here - the sound of a bubbling cauldron and the low fire on the chimney was making Elías relax deeply, grateful for it after the horrible start of his year. He almost closed his eyes, too, realizing just how tired he was after spending so many nights studying this potion. He wouldn't fall asleep, though, not in front of Severus to see just how inept he was.

"Did you sleep last night?"

Fucking - 

"Are you a  _ Legilimens? _ " Elías mumbled and Severus, without even blinking, just nodded, making Elías jump in his chair. "Wait, what?! And you tell me this now?!"

"Oh, the hypocrisy," the potions master huffed.

"Fine. Okay. Yes, I'll give you that," Elías narrowed his eyes. "Shit."

"I don't need to be a mind reader to see that you're falling asleep on your chair, Fernández."

"Fair," Elías sighed. "I slept, I'll let you know. It just wasn't very good."

"Have you attempted a Sleeping Draught?" Severus asked.

"I don't like the after effects in the morning," Elías sighed. "It'll be fine. I'm just - you know, just anxious."

"Right," He said dryly. "How long until you've to work on your potion again, Fernández?"

"Thirty seconds," he replied immediately, looking over at his watch, standing with a yawn. "Alright. Let's do this."

Now was the most tedious part of all. He grasped the thyme tincture and applied a dash to the thick, gooey substance bubbling in the cauldron, the drops staying at the top, Christ, he'd known it'd be dense but this was insane. With a sigh, he grabbed the stirring golden stick and stuck it in the middle and began to leisurely mix it all.

This took three hours to do.

Harry had left by the time Elías couldn't feel his arm, feeling regretful about not eating a bigger dinner, his stomach growling a bit as the door shut behind Harry. Severus cocked an eyebrow and looked at him from over the edge of his book, making Elías flush.

"Fine, you were right," he mumbled, switching his arm again to the left so the right could rest. "This is such  _ bullshit _ ."

"That bullshit will give you golden luck and glory," Severus said dryly, almost looking amused as Elías complained. "You're only eight hours in. You still have four to go."

"That's over half," he breathed, ever the optimist before he finally took a step away from the cauldron and turned to the table, to mortar and pestle, where Occamy eggs waited to be crushed. "If this turns out as a failure I want you to know that I'm throwing myself out the Astronomy Tower."

"Noted," Severus let out a sardonic smile.

Elías sighed, slapping his cheeks a bit, trying to stay awake as four in the morning threatened to put him down. He wanted nothing more than to sleep but he was done with this potion, almost, he could do it. He only needed to hold on for four more hours.

So he grinded the eggs into a fine powder and sprinkled it over the dough that was the  _ Felix Felicis _ potion. Blinking at the texture, which was exactly the one he needed, he began to knead it like he did with the mochi he and his father prepared over the summer, two years ago.

"What are you  _ doing _ ?" Severus asked, astounded.

"It says to knead the powder in," Elías told him. "And that's what I'm doing. It's a Japanese style for -"

"Fine. Do as you wish, just - mind that it's volatile right now, shall any moisture remain in the mixture."

"There's none, don't worry, I checked with my wand," Elías hummed, finishing the kneading after half an hour and sitting back, panting a bit. "Two hours of drying, now."

"Already?" Snape walked forward, eyebrows raising at the perfect ball of dough he was met with. By now, it was a dirty yellow color, speckled with silver bits from the Occamy egg powder. "That method… you seemed to know it well."

"I cook. A lot. And bake," Elías explained, shrugging. "I love it. That's why I love potions - though I'll admit, potions is much more exciting than baking a cake. The thing is, I do it on a daily. And my father and I bake a lot of bread, so… kneading is my thing," he shrugged.

"I see," was all Severus said before he sat down once more, his book finished by now and his hand around his red ink-dipped quill. He was correcting essays, apparently. 

"Do you want help with that?" He asked, and Severus gave him such a scalding look that Elías had to laugh. "I've nothing better to do, and you said these are First Year essays, right? I can help you."

"Don't become distracted from your potion," Severus warned.

"I won't - it's  _ drying _ . Right now it's at the safest point it'll ever be. Let me help you, come on," he walked over to his desk, looking at the essays. "Oh! The properties of dragon blood!"

Severus sighed, pushing the stack towards him, making Elías grin and sit down in front of Severus, taking his quill from his bag and sharing the red ink.

"Don't be overly nice to them," Severus warned, eyes narrowed as Elías began reading over the first piece of parchment. "If they're wrong, they're  _ wrong _ . There is no but's or if's."

"You got it," he hummed, hand sliding to quickly cross out a very wrong sentence that could potentially kill a potion-maker, looking at the name of the student to find one of the Slytherins who continued to confuse the tools of Astronomy with the ones for Astrology. He gently added the correct answer on top of the crossed out part and explained why it was dangerous. "May I ask you something?"

"You'll ask anyway," Severus said dryly.

"Do you honestly enjoy teaching?" Elías posed the question as he looked at Severus, trying to catch his reaction. There was none, though, and Elías had to wait for a moment as Severus began to purse his lips, still staring at Elías, making him understand. "Ah. You don't know."

"It's a complicated question," he told the muggleborn slowly.

"I don't really understand why, but if you think so, then I'll let you be," Elías nodded, pushing the corrected essay aside, reaching for the next. "I'm just saying - you could easily become a Potions Engineer. I'm pretty sure you could so, uh, why not do that?"

"Potions in  _ one _ of my passions," Severus spoke. "But not my only one."

"You mean the Dark Arts, right?" Elías asked, curious, and Severus looked up sharply, watching him. "No need to shy away, I find the rules that dictate what magic is what a bit arbitrary."

"How so?" Severus put his quill down, crossing his arms. "Enlighten me," he smirked.

"Well," Elías frowned. "Supposedly, Blood Magic is part of the Dark Arts, right? But we use Blood Magic in Hospitals and in Potions - hell, the Regerminating Potion had blood in it!  _ My  _ blood. So what constitutes  _ good  _ Blood Magic and  _ bad  _ Blood Magic?"

He lifted his hands, frustrated, and Severus just watched him, index knuckle resting against his lips.

"Do continue," he encouraged, attempting to sound bored but Elías had caught him.

"What about the Dark Arts itself? Like - you've got Inferi and Horcruxes and soul-splitting demons and such for which to draw a conclusion that the Dark Arts are  _ evil _ . But - but Unbreakable Vows, which are culturally  _ important  _ to the point of appearing in every single magical treaty that's ever been done between nations, are considered part of the Dark Arts as well.

"Or fucking  _ Time Magic _ . Don't get me started on that," he pulled a face, hands tightening. "Apparently the Ministry of Magic has a hall full of Time Turners and a very creepy list of every registered Seer to ever pass by England. I'm not in that list, thanks to Dumbledore but -  _ fuck _ , what's so evil about Time Magic?"

"It's dangerous," Severus supplied.

"So is this potion we're making," Elías pointed at the cauldron. "But here we are! Perfectly legal."

He paused, frowning.

"I understand that Horcruxes must be prohibited, as they split your soul as you must kill.  _ That  _ seems reasonable to me," Elías explained. "But just… why call so many things  _ Dark Arts _ ? It just makes no sense unless they just want to fit the stereotype of magic that they do not understand into a compendium of morals."

"It's Britannia," Severus shrugged. "Imperialism at it's finest."

Elías recoiled, a smile starting to split his face, watching Severus with a little laugh.

"I'm sorry," he began, chuckling. "Did you just -"

"I am not blind to the politics of the British Wizarding World, Elías," he rolled his eyes. "Although most people are."

"So you agree that it's basically a random number of - lets say 28 wizards, why not? - making these arbitrary rules to the way that best suits them?"

"Yes," Severus watched him. "I thought this was a common fact, Fernández."

"It is but most people don't want to admit it," Elías hummed, leaning back on his chair. "What is it that interests you? What part of the Dark Arts?"

"The corruption of the soul and why it happens," Severus answered after several seconds of pregnant silence, his eyes moving to the windows of the dungeon leading to the Black Lake. "The root of all evil - why is it that these creatures that come from non-magical places still get corrupted? Is the soul reparable, once it's tainted? Can you erase the mark of darkness in a soul?"

Elías was quiet but his eyes drifted to Severus' arm, the left one, where he knew perfectly a Dark Mark resided. Had his soul been corrupted by it, then? Was it painful? Was it slowly purifying his soul, his body? What were the effects of that  _ thing  _ on people?

"Why did you ever join him?" Elías asked quietly, feeling disappointment grow in him, watching Severus. "To me it seems like such… such blatant bigotry, you really have to be fucked in the head to follow someone like Voldemort into war."

Severus winced at the name but he sighed, hand waving a bit, "It's never about his ideals. Those are side effects, always have been."

"Yeah, yeah," Elías sighed. "Find a minority to blame for all the fucked up things in the world. But how can you  _ believe  _ that?"

"I never did," Severus turned to Elías. "Obviously, muggleborns aren't the source of every problem wizards encounter. Obviously, they didn't steal their magic from a real wizard.  _ Obviously _ , magic is more complex than we think and we should dedicate our efforts to finding why it grows in such arbitrary people and why it's not hereditary."

"How could you follow him, then?" Elías swallowed. "Knowing he was doing - he was killing innocent people? Muggles, muggleborns, witches and wizards, squibs-"

"Because I wanted power," Severus cut in, eyes hard, looking deadly serious. "I wanted  _ power _ . I wanted to feel like someone above  _ anyone _ . And they did make you feel powerful and important, no matter if you were pureblood or mixed. They gave me a purpose, a sense of belonging, a  _ tribe _ , if you'd call it."

"I'd call it a cult," Elías whispered, watching him back. 

"I was young and did not know the extent of my actions. I didn't know… the consequences," he told Elías, hand moving to wrap around his forearm, wincing. "I paid them. They were costly and I regretted following my youthful curiosity and ambition without regard of -"

"Other people?" Elías sighed. "No, fuck, but I mean - how many kids here at Hogwarts feel the way you did? Alienated, weak, depressed and anxious, able to be prayed upon by people who know how to use propaganda very well?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, looking over one of the essays in front of him and Elías felt a spike of hurt hit him in his lungs.

"Don't you  _ care _ ?" Elías whispered.

"I'm past caring for people in general," Severus told Elías, honest for once in his fucking life and Elías felt that old frustration and hatred burn within him. 

"Why?"

"Because it's not worth it."

"Lily wasn't worth it?"

Elías' back hit the column and he found himself pressed against it, Severus' breath in his face and his coal black eyes wild with rage. Elías watched him, wide-eyed, heart in his throat. He'd never seen Snape so angry.

"Don't you  _ dare  _ say her name," Snape hissed, hand dangerously close to Elías' neck.

"You weren't the only one who lost her," Elías calmly replied, his hands against the column, palms flat. "Everyone lost people in the war, Severus, a war where one side was  _ genocidal _ -"

"I admit my wrongdoings and my faults in that war! Do you think I don't, you foolish  _ child _ ? You're too young to remember the horrors -"

"I have  _ seen them _ !" Elías snapped at him, making Severus' jaw click shut. "You call me a child yet you don't remember that I've seen all the shit that happened since I was  _ nine _ ! And the future possibilities of war! And it all began because people like you allowed a lunatic to rise to power because you wanted to feel  _ special _ \- you enabled genocide and segregation and the hunt of muggles and muggleborns!"

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did!" Elías shoved him back, glaring. "And just because you came squirreling back to Dumbledore the moment the only person you cared about was in danger is an example of what's fucking wrong with you!" He called, so satisfied to finally say it to his face, the stunned professor watching with his face completely white. "You only went back because Lily was going to  _ die _ and you didn't care about Harry! Or James! About the Longbottoms or even Alerina Malfoy!" Elías felt his eyes burn. "Lucius - her fucking  _ brother - _ watched her  _ die! _ You watched her  _ die!  _ And you did  _ nothing  _ to save that poor girl just because she was a squib!"

"How did you -"

"Because I  _ saw it _ !" Elías burst. "And a thousand other horrible things and people just don't  _ care _ ! Well, I do! I fucking do! I care about my students, I care about muggles and muggleborns and half-bloods and purebloods! I care about kids failing their classes and the kids that ace theirs! I care about people who are genuine good and are just having a hard time! Because it turns out that if i don't care, nobody else will!"

"But it  _ hurts _ ," Severus told him, glaring. "Why would you subject yourself to that? Just like with Lupin, you're learning how to make him the bloody potion and he's not even talking to you!"

"I know! It hurts! It hurts so fucking much!" Elías laughed, eyes burning. "And isn't it  _ wonderful _ ?!" He said, trying to push his every honest feeling out to him. "Isn't it wonderful to live in a world where you can love someone so much that it hurts to even look? Where you know you're  _ alive _ just by closing your eyes and thinking of everything you've been through? Isn't it wonderful as the hurt starts to ebb away and you realize that you're growing, moving on? That you don't regret a single fucking thing because at the end of the day, you were  _ alive  _ and it made you remember that you're human _. _ "

Elías rubbed his eyes, emotionally compromised, sighing deeply. "Shit. Sorry, I- hold on," he mumbled, trying to clear his face. Then suddenly, a handkerchief was in front of him and he glanced up to see Severus, not making faces or sneering, just… looking. "Thanks," he murmured, dabbing at his eyes. "It costs zero to be nice to people," he mumbled. "The outcomes are always better if you are. Everything is just  _ better  _ if you try."

"I'm not sure I can follow those ideals," Severus this time did make a face of disgust but Elías rolled his eyes. "You're too -" he struggled to find the word, eyes roaming him. "You're not  _ naive  _ about it, you're just -"

"Friendly," Elías finished a bit. "Which is alien to you."

"It's alien to anyone with your background."

"Just because someone took advantage of me doesn't mean that everyone else will. I did close myself off, Severus, for several years. But it just wasn't worth it, I - I never wanted to die more than when I pushed away everyone I loved. Than when I closed all my doors and walled myself up."

"Some of us don't trust like you," he pointed out.

"Then learn. Go little by little. Go to  _ therapy _ , honestly," he laughed a bit. "So many could use a session or a year's worth."

"Therapy. You're being serious," Snape looked with distaste at the other Slytherin.

"I went to therapy and apparently, I'm doing better than you," Elías raised his eyebrows. "A session. Just one. Just a single one, yeah?" He realized suddenly that he could actually convince Severus of it. "I'll even pay for it."

"There are… already paid sessions for Hogwarts staff," he winced.

"Oh, so you looked into it?" Elías smiled brightly and Severus moved to sit back on his chair, focusing on ignoring Elías and correcting essays. "No, no, no! That's good! You could tell an absolute stranger that you don't ever have to see again your secrets! And - and I'm sure that you'll feel so much lighter inside! Weightless!"

"That's the most unappealing thing anyone's ever proposed to me," Severus pointed out, pronouncing every word to make it sound firm but Elías had seen the crack. "Aren't you supposed to take care of your potion?"

"Oh shit -" he rushed to the cauldron, looking into it, making a quick check with his wand before returning to the desk. "Not yet, just a tiny bit more but it's looking promising.

"It dried much quicker," Severus pointed out, eyes scanning the dried, much -  _ much  _ smaller ball of what had been previously dough - basically dough anyway. "And it shrunk well. What's the next step?"

"Crush it," Elías answered easily, taking the hard ball and putting it on the mortar, starting to slowly and carefully crush it. Almost five liters turned into this tiny, small thing. “It’s so wasteful,” he mumbled. “So little potion is made, it’s insane.”

“You’ll enjoy a perfect day, though,” Severus pointed out, tapping the much, much smaller cauldron Elías had prepared before he even began the potion. “You’ll use silver?”

“Better than brass, yes,” he nodded.

“Don’t be a fool,” Severus moved into his office, coming back with a gold little cauldron, Elías’ eyes lighting up. “Take care of it.”

“Yessir!” he grinned. “Thank you!”

He gently set the beautifully ornate cauldron on top of the small fire, measuring the water he’d need before very slowly hydrating the powder. Once it was a slouge, he dropped it into the water along with the rue - just a dash, a sprinkle of it.

Immediately, the potion turned into what almost looked like molten gold.

Elías’ hand shot out to grip Severus’ hand, jumping, unable to believe it, his eyes wide. “Oh my Gods! Oh my Gods, Severus!”

“Finish the potion, Fernández,” he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, right! Right, right, yes!” Elías nodded, hand gripping his wand tight before he swirled the tip in a circle over the potion, smiling. “ _ Felixsempra _ !”

With a lovely glow, the fire extinguished and the potion stopped bubbling, simply shimmering in the cauldron, making Elías grin widely. It was enough for two doses, maybe even three. Gods, what a lovely little thing, he’d done it! He reached for a phial, dropped the potion in gently and turned to the potions professor, offering it to him.

“Here you go,” he said, awe in his voice. “I’ve made  _ Felix Felicis _ .”

“Let’s see about that,” Severus hummed, taking the potion and, when his fingers brushed Elías’, he found the man to be extremely cold. Maybe they’d both spent too much time in the dungeons. 

Severus Snape tested the potion - swirled it, smelled it, checked the texture quickly by pulling up a drop of it - and then nodded, giving the phial back to Elías.

“Outstanding,” he declared and Elías let out a happy noise from the back of his throat, jumping and hugging Severus tight. “ _ Fernández _ !” he hissed and Elías pulled back, laughing.

“I’m so sorry, I’m -  _ so tired _ ,” he giggled, taking the potion, filling another phial. And there was a bit more, enough to fill half of a phial. “Well! Thank you for that, I - here.”

He handed Severus one of them, smiling, and Severus frowned.

“What?”

“I’m giving you some  _ Felix Felicis _ ! I gift you a perfect day,” he stated, smiling brilliantly.

“Why would you give me -”

“Just take it, Severus,” Elías laughed, pushing it forward until the professor was holding it awkwardly. “I’m sure there’s just one day where you’d rather things went your way. Use it when you need it. And thank you for letting me do this, with the three potions and the… redeeming classes and all that. You didn’t have to stay until the wee hours of the morning but you did. You didn’t even have to help me - at all! But you are. So yeah, thank you, Severus. Also, I enjoy our conversations and even our fights, even if you  _ do _ get on my nerves a lot of times.”

He took the other phials, pocketed them after corking them. He’d keep the half one and give the other one to someone else, hopefully he’d accept it. As he cleaned the station he’d used, he noticed that Severus was saying nothing but he didn’t comment on it. Maybe if someone showed him unfiltered, true kindness, he’d start seeing things that are truly worth it.

“I,” Elías stated, laughing a bit as he turned to see Severus still looking at the phial, clutching it tight enough that his knuckles were a bit white. “Am going to bed. I don’t know about you but I’m quite exhausted. Same time, next Friday for Amortentia?”

“Yes,” Severus said, abruptly, after a second of just staring at Elías. “Yes, same time. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Elías smiled, walking out of the dungeons, stumbling a bit as he realized his leg had fallen asleep.

“Let me -”

Elías was surprised when Severus followed him out, waving his wand to turn off the lights, looking at Elías. 

“I’ll take you to your rooms before you smash your head once more on a column,” he said, eyes rolling, moving beside Elías out of the Dungeons and into the ground floor. Elías simply sighed, rubbing his eyes, trying to stay awake just a few more minutes as the first rays of sunlight filtered through the windows of Hogwarts.

“That was insane,” he mumbled, looking over at Severus. “Really drained me. Is Amortentia truly harder than this?”

“To me, no,” Severus replied, looking ahead. “I find  _ Felix Felicis _ to be an astonishingly annoying potion to make and I have only made it once before, when I was eighteen.”

“How did I do?” Elías asked, hopeful. “Better than last week?”

Severus glanced at him from the side of his eye, “Yes,” was all he said and Elías punched the air, grinning. “Don’t get complacent. You’ve to always improve.”

“Yes, yes! I know, and I will,” he promised, clapping a bit. “Oh, I’m so happy.”

Severus said nothing but Elías was too happy to really care.

“Amortentia is much more volatile, that’s why you chose it for last, right?” Elías turned to look at the other professor and Snape nodded. “Alright. I’ll try and be careful next week.”

“You better,” he warned, but it sounded oddly soft. Elías crossed it off as the tiredness they were both experiencing and began to climb the stairs up the Astronomy Tower, yawning widely, almost falling back on the stairs if it weren’t for Severus pressing his hand against his lower back. “Thanks,” he mumbled, nodding at him. “Gods, I’m sleeping all day.”

“Don’t mess your sleep schedule,” Severus warned him, glaring a bit. “Sleep enough but not too much -”

“Christ, yes, fine, what are you, my dad?” Elías asked, leaning back against his own door, watching Severus. “Okay, that was mean, sorry, you were advising me - yes, I’ll take care of my sleep schedule. You have a good n - er, morning.”

“Don’t sleep all day,” he warned before turning on his heel and walking away hastily, leaving Elías to stumble into his quarters, undress sloppily and just collapse in his bed, smiling into his pillow


	17. Confessions

The Slytherin vs Ravenclaw game was in the afternoon and Elías woke around noon, blinking at the ceiling, still groggy before he realized where he was and the amount of sun streaming through the window. He squinted at his clock, groaning when he saw the time, beyond hungry and incredibly ready to just not having this day happen.

Elías blinked, looking down at his jeans on the floor and suddenly scrambling down to reach the pockets, pulling out the half-filled potion, his stomach lurching at the thought of just -  _ taking it _ . Was it alright? Would it be okay for him to actually… just drink  _ Felix Felicis _ ? He sat down in his underwear on the floor, pondering for a minute. His head was aching a bit from lack of sleep, the game was today, he had to deliver the other full potion to Remus and he was dreading it a bit. 

No.

No, no, he couldn't just… rely on a potion to get rid of that anxiety. That was a slippery slope into dependence and he would take the potion only on a day where he truly needed luck - perhaps when Sirius Black was nearby. Perhaps Elías would take the potion and then go looking for him - and demand to know what the hell had happened.

He sighed, putting the half-filled phial on his nightstand, next to his testosterone doses, standing and stretching and needing to get ready for the day.

Showering quick, making sure no student or professor would see him, Elías barely made it in time to catch some lunch, sitting next to Severus once more, finding him almost done.

"Hey! Are you going to the game?" Elías asked, serving himself a nice, bit portion of salmon - one of his favorites, how lucky. And he didn't need  _ Felix Felicis _ .

"I never miss a Slytherin game," Severus replied calmly. He looked tired - some bags under his eyes, a bit lost in thought. Elías felt a bit bad that he hadn't gotten much sleep, what with supervising his potion-making. "So yes, I will be there."

"Wanna go together, then? Nobody else in the staff is from Slytherin, and Flitwick and Vector are already telling people that Ravenclaw stomped Hufflepuff and they'll destroy Slytherin - which is  _ bullshit _ . Don't count your dragons until the eggs have hatched."

"We may sit next to each other but I honestly hope you're not one of  _ those  _ people during Quidditch," Severus turned to narrow his eyes at the Astronomy professor.

"What kind? The ones that have fun?" Elías asked with a grin.

"The ones that think sports means you can lose composure and voice to your heart's content," Severus rolled his eyes.

"You  _ can  _ lose your composure. That's having fun," Elías countered. "Don't you know how to do that? When was the last time you had a good, hearty laugh?"

"I don't  _ laugh _ ," Severus glared.

"You will one day," Elías stated, leaning back on his chair. "I'm going to make you laugh -"

"Do  _ not  _ -"

"I'm going to make you laugh  _ so hard _ that your belly and face are gonna hurt," Elías declared firmly, nodding at Severus. "Yes. That's my new goal for the term. I'm going to get you to laugh."

"It wasn't a challenge," Snape sneered.

"Oh, I know. I'm just - ambitious," Elías grinned widely, making Severus roll his eyes hard. "Anyway, I'll meet you by the clocktower thirty minutes before the game? Should be enough time to get there."

Severus just stood from his seat, done with lunch, robes billowing after him as he left the Great Hall but Elías had a feeling that he'd see him at the clocktower at three thirty in the afternoon.

He was one of the last to finish lunch, next to Pomona, who always took her sweet time with her food as she graded some exams. Elías smiled at her, passing by the center of the Great Hall to leave when a couple of Second Year Hufflepuffs approached him.

"Professor Fernández! How did your potion go yesterday?!" one of them, Melinda Smith asked, eyes wide. "Did you do it?!"

"Yes! I was able to make the potion," he grinned at them, enjoying their excitement at his success. "It was very hard to do and by the time I finished, it was almost seven in the morning, but I did it."

"When is the last one?" Lucille approached, eyes wide, arms moving around Melinda in a tight hug. Ah, right, they were cousins.

"On Friday," he hummed, starting to walk out of the Great Hall.

"And what potion is it?" The other Hufflepuff asked.

"Amortentia - quite hard, but a lot of Sixth Years have already done it. I'm a bit below level but I'm pretty sure I can do this one."

"Good luck! I'm so sure you can do it!"

"Thank you," Elías said softly, touched, watching his students with a small smile. "You guys cheering me on really is helping me."

"We're all talking about it!" Elías turned to see a bunch of other Fifth Year Hufflepuffs and some Ravenclaws approaching, friends of Lucille. "We can't believe Professor Snape is helping you!"

"Oh, yeah, he's been helping me a lot," Elías laughed. "Surprising, I know, but he really has come through."

"He's been a little less…" Gavin paused, wincing, looking around in case the dreaded bat was around. "...you know."

"Oh, I know," Elías' eyebrows raised. "Trust me, I know - and he has? I'm glad to hear that, I had a talk with him about it."

The students looked at each other, whispering for a moment before they turned to Elías again.

"Are you going to the game, sir?" 

"Yes, I am. I wouldn't want to miss a Slytherin game," he smiled brightly. "And you guys?"

"It's  _ way  _ too cold. And the Ravenclaw team is too strong this season, it's kind of obvious what is going to happen," one of them shrugged.

"We'll see," Elías told them, smirking, thinking of actually talking to the Slytherin team before the game.

He decided to go, before the game, to Remus' office, nerves messing with his stomach but trying to have a confident march to the fifth floor. The thought of facing him again had him almost turning around but he gathered all his courage, thinking about the potion sitting in his pocket, that if he didn't do this now, he'd just never do it. So striding into the classroom to knock on his office, he was taken aback by the sound of Severus' voice.

Elías blinked, surprised, knowing that it was still some time until the full moon - the first one of the term had already been a week ago - and he didn't think he had miscalculated. So it wasn't about the wolfsbane potion.

He bit his lip, pausing, listening in.

"...understand that you might be doubtful of my intentions but this is purely academic and if you truly are so concerned with his well being, then perhaps you should ask him yourself," that was Severus, speaking slow and venomous, like a snake waiting to strike. "It's been two weeks, hasn't it?"

"Did he tell you?" Remus, quiet and sounding absolutely exhausted. "What… what happened?"

"He did."

Elías wanted to walk in and wring Severus' neck, his smug little face. He sounded so  _ satisfied  _ with that, trying to harm Remus the most he could when the werewolf was confused and tired and trying to figure out how to feel about Elías being a fucking Seer - which was a lot to take in!

He was about to enter the office, just to stop Severus from hounding Remus any further when Severus spoke again, "You're a coward, Lupin. I knew this for many years but I've never seen it so bluntly displayed until now. Elías told you the truth and you decided that it wasn't for you."

"No, that’s not what happened," Remus spoke, voice rough. "I'm trying to take in -"

"While you pathetically attempt to swallow the truth and push him away, he's actually agreed to learn to brew Wolfsbane from me, in a controlled environment, despite you not even talking to him."

"He...what?" Remus sounded on the verge of crying and Elías felt his heart clench.

"He's going through Advanced Potions to be able to brew your Wolfsbane, you  _ fool _ . Despite thinking that you'll never be friends again -"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I -"

Elías knocked, done with eavesdropping, done with listening to conversations that he wasn't privy to, done with knowing things he wasn't supposed to from people he actually cared about.

He opened the door and found Severus and Remus behind, the two men surprised to see him before Severus relaxed slightly, walking past Elías to the classroom.

"I'll see you at the clocktower," was all he said, walking off, making Elías simply nod.

The door closed and Elías was left with Remus. Alone.

"Hey," Elías began, swallowing a bit, feeling his heart give a leap despite trying to control it, trying to push it back. "I'm sorry, I don't want to bother you too much-"

"I don't really have much to do, it's alright," Remus said softly, his eyes running over Elías. He had a little wound on his neck, now that Elías paid attention. It would scar, surely, partly healed but too wide. His wolf had a bad night last full moon. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I uh," Elías suddenly felt like a fool, wanting to give this little phial to Remus as if it'd fix everything. As if Remus would want to see him again, trust him again. It didn't matter. Shit.  _ Fuck _ . "I'm sorry, this was stupid -"

He turned around, face burning, walking out of the office on the verge of panic. Remus called his name but blood was roaring in his ears and Elías tried not to stop - then Remus gripped his wrist and pulled him back, making Elías face him.

Gods,  _ Remus _ .

Elías was besotted with him and it was bad, it was so  _ bad _ , he wanted to kiss Remus, he wanted to hug him tight and beg for him to take Elías back, that he'd do anything to go back to what they were. But he - it wasn't  _ fair _ . Remus deserved time to himself, Severus was wrong, and just because Elías was hurting didn't mean that Remus had to speed up the process.

"Elías, please, talk to me," Remus begged, instead, his voice cracking and Elías immediately turned, seeing the conflict in his eyes. "Please," he added quietly.

"You told me to give you space, I didn't - it was such a stupid thing," Elías laughed a bit, breath catching. "I just wanted to give you something and I should've waited -"

"Elías, breathe," Remus said calmly, his other hand moving to his shoulder, gently squeezing. Elías complied, eyes closing, focusing on breathing for a few minutes. Once his heart rate was more or less normal, he opened his eyes, watching Remus give him a little encouraging smile. "Alright. I forgive you. It's alright, Elías, I'm not angry."

"Oh good," Elías said in a thread of voice, trying to go for a lighthearted little conversation. "I uh, dunno if you heard but I'm trying to pass Advanced Potions and - well, the potions are very hard but I'm managing -"

"That's good, I'm - I'm proud of you for wanting to pass, wanting to retake it," Remus told him, offering a tiny, lopsided smile. "You've done -"

"A Regerminating Potion," he nodded. "And uh,  _ Felix Felicis _ , which -"

He pulled out the tiny little bottle, offering it to Remus, who blinked with confusion at the golden concoction.

"It's for you," Elías explained, when Remus didn't take it.

"I… don't understand?" Remus confessed, looking at Elías, into his eyes, finally, and Elías cursed that his knees felt weak at the way the light caught on Remus' eyelashes. "I haven't - Elías, I was kind of an  _ arse _ to you."

"Understandably so?" Elías said quietly, shifting in his spot, wincing. "I should've told you earlier - not right away, obviously, but… earlier. And I didn't and I know that you don't trust me now and that you think I'm uh, playing with you? But I'm… not? I just - I still care about you, even if you don't really -"

"I do," Remus cut him in and Elías felt his throat close up, his eyes burn, vision swimming with tears. "I do care about you, Elías, I don't - I just needed time, I didn't just suddenly hate you."

"Oh, t-that's -" Elías felt his voice crack and waver, knees shaking, tears spilling without his consent. "T-that's g-good to k-know…"

Remus looked a bit horrified and Elías tried to get a grip, hands pressing against his eyes for a moment as he tried to keep the relief from crushing his every thought. Remus still wanted to be friends. Remus didn't  _ hate  _ him. Elías laughed through his tears, feeling Remus still holding onto his wrist, gently squeezing it.

"You thought I hated you?" Remus asked, gentle and comforting, his voice so close and his touch there and Elías was  _ so relieved _ .

"W-well, yeah? M-most people d-do when they p-pull away f-from me," he sobbed, reminding him of the conversation they'd had right before his confession.

"Fuck," Remus said eloquently, realizing it himself, remembering. "No -  _ no, no, no _ , Elías,  _ Merlin's beard  _ \- it's not like that! I do not hate you at all!"

"I'm so glad," he laughed, hand scrambling to grip his sweater, sniffling. "Fuck, I am - I am so glad."

"You still would've gifted me the  _ Felix Felicis _ ? Even if I hated you?" Remus asked, his hand leaving Elías' wrist, taking his chin and raising it so Elías would look him in the eye. 

"Yeah," he croaked, sniffling. He surely looked like a Pygmypuff, all red and puffy.

"Why? Good Godric, Elías, why would you agree to - to make potions under Snape, why would you gift me such a precious potion that you could gift to literally anyone else?"

"I -" Elías looked away, uncomfortable, pondering for a second the pros and cons of what he was about to do before deciding that  _ fuck it _ . It was just - there was no way around it. Remus would reject Elías and Elías would move on and if Remus didn't want to be his friend anymore then at the very least Elías was used to it now.

So he took a deep breath, gathering all his courage, trying to think of himself as a Gryffindor for once before he finally looked at Remus in the eye.

"Isn't it obvious by now?" 

Remus pulled his hand back from Elías' face as if burned, eyes wide, a rosy color to his face as he seemed to realize it. Elías crossed his arms so he could hold himself together, watching Remus without holding back on his feelings but Remus seemed almost horrified. 

At least Elías would have some peace of mind. At the very least.

"You don't - Elías,  _ no _ ," Remus hissed, rushing to grab Elías' shoulders and shake them. "How could you - I'm  _ thirty-three _ , I'm  _ poor _ , I'm a  _ werewolf _ -"

"You're the most - most  _ incredible _ man I've ever met," Elías replied, firm, frowning deeply as he watched Remus. "You're kind. And funny. You're - incredibly smart. Whenever I wake up, I think of spending lunch with you, I think of playing a song for you, I think about how much I want to see you, see you smile and laugh and enjoy yourself. You're the strongest, most infuriatingly  _ humble _ man I've ever met. And when I talk to you… you listen. And you try to understand. And you get me, you know me."

He stayed firm - Remus could reject him and it'd be that but he couldn't fight Elías on his feelings. Because they were honest and they were real, no matter how nonsensical Remus found them.

"Elías, you can't -"

"I can," the Spaniard cut in, making Remus look desperately at him. "It is what it is, Remus, I like you. In an absolutely romantic way."

" _ How _ ?! Why would you -" Remus shook his head, his eyes running over Elías' face, hands tight enough on his shoulders that it actually hurt but Elías said nothing. "You can't  _ do this to yourself _ !"

This wasn't a rejection. Elías watched Remus, watched him scramble for a reason as to why Elías couldn't possibly want to be with him but he hadn't denied Elías at all.

"You can't stop me from  _ feeling _ , Remus," Elías told him, his hands moving to grip the collar of his sweater. "I feel what I feel. I am not ashamed of my feelings nor am I ashamed of  _ you.  _ Thirty-three, penniless, with lycanthropy, with scars, I don't  _ care _ ."

"You  _ should _ care!" Remus swallowed, his hands sliding to Elías' elbows, grasping them a bit more gently. "What would your parents say?! Seeing you with an older man who doesn't deserve you, when you could be with anyone else -"

"I don’t  _ want _ anyone else, I want  _ you _ !" Elías finally snapped, hauling his head down before just kissing him.

For a moment, the world stood still, Remus and Elías frozen in time. Remus' lips were dry and a bit chapped but it was  _ wondrous  _ for that beautiful, gorgeous, monumental moment. And Elías even thought that Remus was pulling him closer, the Defense professor holding tight onto his elbows, their chests about to touch -

Remus yanked him away, making Elías stumble back, his eyes wide as Remus watched him, face a mix of emotions, guilt and pity among them.

Oh, no.

"Elías, I'm sorry," Remus sighed, holding him at arms' length. "But I do not return your feelings, I should've been more clear about that."

"Oh," Elías breathed, his entire face crumbling with disappointment and shame. "Oh, I… I thought…"

What an utter fucking fool he'd made of himself, just now. All the confidence, all his guesswork, those moments where Elías had thought that something might be going on - they meant nothing of the sort for Remus. They meant  _ nothing  _ of the sort. 

"I'm sorry I kissed you," Elías murmured, stepping back, eyes frantically searching the floor for his dignity and the basic principle of fucking  _ consent _ , Elías,  _ you can't just assume  _ -

"It's fine, I - it's fine," Remus breathed, taking in a deep breath, watching Elías. "Are you alright?"

"No, but I mean - I will be," he whispered, rubbing his burning eyes, shrugging. "Telling you did make me feel better, I suppose. Now I can… move on."

"I'm so sorry, Elías," Remus told him but Elías just waved his hand, refusing to look at Remus, giving out a laugh. "I…"

"Again, you can't choose your feelings," Elías told him, face pressed to the back of his fingers, sighing. "And like, I get it - this young, dumb guy comes professing his crush on you, kissing you and getting all up in your business; I get it."

Remus shook his head, taking a step forward, "No, no, it's not like that -"

"I," Elías stepped back as well, making Remus pause. "I'm going to go see the game. You… enjoy the  _ Felix Felicis _ whenever, I guess. And if you…" he swallowed. "If you ever wanna be friends again, just - let me have a week or so? To - lick my wounds, I guess?" He laughed, holding back a pathetic little sob. "Please."

"Y-yes, of course," Remus murmured, watching Elías with those eyes, those guilty, pitying eyes. Shit,  _ fuck _ . "A week."

"Thanks," Elías swallowed. "And - and I'm sorry, again. For… everything."

Remus just watched him, shoulders tense, mouth parted as if to speak but when he didn't, Elías walked out of the classroom and marched through the hallways as if nothing bad happened. He cleaned his face with a wave of his wand, let his chin stay high and he looked everywhere within him for a place to compartmentalize his feelings until he was ready to face them.

He found Severus waiting fifteen minutes before the accorded time and, surprisingly, Elías felt relief when he saw his dark figure waiting by the clocktower, clad in his coat and scarf. Elías hadn't gone for his outer layers but he really couldn't go to the tower and risk seeing Remus again or he'd break down.

"Hey," he called, stopping in front of Severus, giving him a bright smile to denote a good day. "I'm here! Let's g -"

Severus threw his own scarf at Elías' face, scowling as the Spaniard scrambled to grab it and not let it fall to the wet mud.

"You'll get sick, Fernández," he scolded, starting to walk to the Quidditch Pitch while Elías looked at the scarf, feeling emotions bubble up at the simple gesture, one born out of kindness, clutching the black scarf tight before he adjusted it around his neck, swallowing. 

"Thanks," he croaked, sniffling a bit, following next to him and trying to hold back tears.

Severus said nothing, glancing at Elías before deeply sighing.

"How did it go?" He asked, voice restrained.

"It went well," Elías mumbled, sniffling again. "Until I fucking told him how I felt."

Severus' head snapped to him, eyes running all over his face, frowning deeply. "He rejected you?" He asked, disbelief in his tone.

"Yeah," Elías rasped, blinking rapidly to avoid more tears. "I kissed him, like an absolute fucking idiot, thinking - shit, what was I even thinking? I don't know! And he - he was really polite and soft when he told me he just isn't into me and - Gods, you were right, I  _ am  _ a Fourth Year Ravenclaw girl."

"That makes no  _ sense _ ," Severus growled, his lips turned down into a scowl. "What the  _ hell  _ is he thinking?"

"I thought - I mean, I thought that maybe there was a chance? For him and me? But - no, no, he made it very clear that he has… no feelings for me."

Elías laughed, trying not to cry again, hiding his face on Severus' scarf, smelling very clearly of the potions professor.

"Gods, I'm such an idiot," Elías whined quietly. "How did I think he'd ever look at me -"

Severus whacked him upside the head the way he did with unruly students, making Elías almost trip forward and the professor barked at Elías, "He's a  _ Gryffindor _ . Are you truly going to cry over a Gryffindor? Don't you have more _dignity_ than that?"

Elías recoiled, eyes wide and wet, disgusted at the thought as a Slytherin and Snape adjusted Elías' loose scarf, tightening up a little so the cold wouldn't seep in. It wasn't gentle, more hasty and functional but - Severus was taking care of him and it was exactly what Elías needed.

"No," Elías murmured, watching Snape with a pathetic sniffle. "No, I'm better than that."

"Then act like it," Severus scoffed, walking forward again, Elías next to him with his hands burrowed on the pockets of his cardigan. "Truly,  _ Lupin _ ?"

"Don't start," Elías warned.

"You shouldn't be scrambling for scraps at his feet, it should be backwards," Severus snapped at him, looking angry. "Pathetic. Have you got no self-love?"

"No, I don't! I thought we both knew that!" Elías replied.

"Well, so what if he's got no feelings for you? You're twenty-one, you still have a lot left to learn and do. If you wish for a romantic partner, go and get one."

"I don't want a partner, I just happened to crush on Remus," Elías supplied, swallowing, thankful that the students hadn't begun yet to move to the Pitch. 

"He's not worth your time," Severus told him, strict and firm, then a bit quieter. "Much less your tears."

"I'm sensitive, Severus," Elías murmured, feeling miserable. "You know this. I could barely… take what you dished out as a kid. I'm not like…"

_ Everyone else in our House. _

Severus seemed to sigh once more, shoulders lowering before he looked at Elías, pausing his walk, making the other professor stop as well. Elías sniffled a bit, looking up at him, swallowing.

"I always wanted to be cool-headed," he whispered, shivering as the wind blew a bit harder, throwing his hair to one side. "I wanted to… to be able to catch the subtleties of people when speaking to them. I wanted to be able to verbally spar with you, with the Carrows, with  _ anyone  _ who dared to make me feel small and unimportant. I wanted to be mean. But I never could."

"What you lack in viciousness, you make up in drive," Severus told him.

"I don't want -" Elías made a frustrated noise. "I just wish I was as heartless as you all perform to be. I wish I could look cold and calculating, wish I could take better control of the situation. And I can't."

"You can learn to be," Severus cocked an eyebrow. "But that would mean that, indeed, you'd have to learn to give up your heart."

"Teach me, then," Elías demanded, stepping forward.

But Severus said, "No."  And kept walking.

Elías struggled a bit to catch up, frowning at the tall towers of the Quidditch Pitch bleachers, feeling a bit of panic about them for a second before he pushed through, following Severus into the stairs.

"Why not?" Elías asked, voice echoing in the tower.

"Because I said so," Severus put bluntly, making Elías climb two steps at a time before forcing Severus to stop by moving in front of him.

"Why not?" He asked again.

"Because heart, Fernández, is  _ all  _ you have," Severus snapped, pushing him aside, walking on. 

"But I don't want it if I'm just going to -"

Severus turned around, glaring deeply at him, gripping the safety bar before moving his face close to Elías'.

"A mere twelve hours ago you were telling me how hurting is worth it because it makes you feel alive! You told me that you did not care about the hurt because at the end of the day, you know you did the right thing, that you were human! You told me that you cared just in case nobody else did! And twelve hours ago you were not heartbroken, not rejected, not crying! I am not about to agree with emotions that are spilling, Fernández, because this is not what you  _ want _ . This isn't _you_."

Elías blinked at him, swallowing, saying nothing as his mouth went dry. "But I -"

"You're not like the other Slytherins," Severus told him, frowning deeply before smacking him over the head again.

"Ow! What was that for now?!"

"You're a good man." Severus said. "A _good_ man. Through and through, no exceptions. You'll put others before you. In Slytherin, that's usually the thing we lack the most. _Appreciate it_."

Elías ceased his babbling, eyebrows shooting up, watching Severus with a stunned look. He wanted to reply that he tried to be but he wasn't, fully, yet nothing came from his mouth. Because Severus Snape, the bane of his existence in school, the man who utterly infuriated him beyond reason, thought that he was a good man. The thought brought him a little bit of peace and he had enough of crying for today but he was - yes, he was close to it.

"You think so?" Elías asked meekly.

"Yes," Severus sighed, annoyed. "I do, now can we get up this infernal tower and sit down before you break into tears again?"

"Yes," Elías sobbed, moving forward to hug Severus, incredibly grateful that he actually had found a friend within him, of all people.

"Don't -"

"Just hug me, damn it, you're the one being nice and m-making me cry," Elías sobbed, arms tight around him and Severus sighed, awkwardly patting his shoulder. When Elías calmed down, he pulled away and cleaned his face magically again, sighing. "Thank you. I'm sorry for the mess -"

"I know how it feels," Severus made a face, wincing, looking away. "Rejection."

"Ah," Elías supplied stupidly.

"Let us go," he turned, walking up the stairs once more and Elías took a deep breath, following him, feeling less like he was about to cry and more like perhaps he should've taken the potion before he walked out of his bedroom.


	18. Blood and Mud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in a day because I just finished Chapter 26 and I really CAN'T WAIT for you guys to read it. It came out so fucking good. I'm so happy.

February came and, with it, much worse weather.

After the game - which Slytherin won, barely - Elías busied himself with helping Theodore get his studying plan together but also took his afternoons and some mornings to study Amortentia, the highly volatile potion that would surely land him in the Hospital Wing. He didn’t think too much about Remus, didn’t open that little pocket in his mind where he’d stored all his feelings from Saturday, choosing instead to be productive. Or, well,  _ try to be _ .

Elías shoved back his book of the properties of roses, sighing deeply, hands rubbing his face as he attempted to bring some focus into the forefront. He couldn’t fucking think, not when he was reading about  _ romance  _ and  _ obsession _ and fucking  _ love potions _ .

“Can’t concentrate?” Severus asked, cocking an eyebrow at him from behind his desk.

“Fuck love potions,” Elías stated, picking everything up, putting it into his bag. “I think I just need a break, honestly. It’s only Monday, I’ve -  _ ugh _ , I’m so stressed already.”

“Don’t forget to  _ eat _ ,” Severus warned, scowling at the Spaniard as he walked out of the dungeons.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he waved him off, sighing.

To be honest, Elías didn’t have a single ounce of appetite and Severus would kill him if he ever knew, but he didn’t have to know. So Elías walked directly to the Astronomy Tower, passing by a little group of Ravenclaw girls that giggled a bit when they saw him, waving. He waved back, amusing them a bit before quickly sliding into his tower, happy to be back in his rooms, aware that tonight he had two classes - one at 10pm for Third Years and another at 12am for Seventh Years - that he eventually had to leave his room for. 

He wanted nothing more than to fall headfirst into bed and lay there for the foreseeable future but instead, he grabbed his guitar and walked out of his rooms, climbing up to the top of the tower. Elías could distract himself with some music, maybe cry a bit, maybe let himself be miserable and pity himself for being rejected in the most embarrassing moment of his life -

He unlocked the classroom and walked in, sitting on the ledge leading towards the balcony. The snow had stopped but only because rain was pelting against the castle, a thick curtain of water permeating the landscape. Elías thought for a moment about Sirius Black, where he was and how he was doing, whether or not he had somewhere dry to stay. Maybe he was in the Shrieking Shack.

Elías sat down, got comfortable, adjusted the capo to his tone of voice and thought of a song he could play. He didn’t feel like anything upbeat, not with his mood and this weather, but if he chose anything sad, he might burst into tears. Yet…

He set the capo on the sixth fret of his guitar, knowing this song was for ukulele but not having the energy to go back down and definitely not having the strength to get back up. So he just adjusted and began to play, just him, his guitar, his voice. Nothing else against the background of rain.

“ _ Mama there's wolves in the house… mama they won't let me out _ ,” he sang, hand moving slowly against the strings without pick, chipping the paint of his nails without care. “ _ Mama they're mating at night… mama they won’t make nice. They're pacing and glowing bright. Their faces all snowy and white, bury their paws in the stone… make for my heart as their home _ …”

Elías didn’t force his voice, didn’t force his accent, just let it all out, knowing this was a concert for one, his most honest feelings. Playing guitar always made him feel a bit more raw than even when he was naked.

“ _ They tumble and fight and they're beautiful… on the hilltops at night, they are beautiful… Blazing with light is the whitest and the tallest and the biggest one… She's muscled and fine when she runs… _ ”

Elías felt a bit like a fool, having to play music to cope with the most natural thing in the world, getting rejected. He’d never really confessed to anyone, never really told anyone that he liked them, because there’d only been one other person whom he’d ever known for long and had hoped perhaps a relationship would take. And he - he’d taken advantage of that.

“ _ They're tearing up holes in the house, they're tearing their claws in the ground, they're staring with blood in their mouths. Mama they won't let me out… they tumble and fight and they're beautiful. On the hilltops at night, they are beautiful… blazing with light… Is the whitest and the tallest and the biggest one, all muscled and fine when she runs. _ ”

Maybe that was the issue. Elías himself. Maybe if he just - stopped trying to think of himself as someone who was available for  _ that  _ kind of love… He’d never been, that was the thing. When he’d been fifteen, he’d just wanted to be loved and he hadn’t changed since then. He had just wanted - just wanted someone to care for him, and know him on a deeper level, know him in a way that he himself didn’t know. He wished for someone to - help him become better. And let Elías help them become a better person.

“ _ Mama there's wolves in the house… aama I tried to put them out. And mama I know you're too wise to wait till those wolves make nice… _ ”

He let the last chord play for a moment, elongating it before letting the song end, pressing his face against the cool surface of the mast of the guitar, sighing.

Clapping startled him and Elías jumped hard, almost making him drop his guitar to the ground, quickly pulling it close to his chest as he turned around and saw, of all people, Theodore Nott. Elías’ face burned, a bit of shame washing over his veins at the thought of a student seeing such a private moment but Theodore seemed starstruck, like Pansy, clapping for him as if Elías had been performing at all.

“Theodore,” Elías cleared his throat, standing, putting his guitar on top of his desk. “It’s Monday, your lessons are on Wednesdays.”

“O-oh! I know, sir, I just - I was just stuck on one of the exercises and er… I thought maybe you’d be here?” Theodore lifted a piece of parchment, making Elías blink.

“Oh. I see. Very well, what are you struggling with?”

Elías sat down next to Theodore’s usual seat, and the student followed his example, showing him the problem that had been confusing him. After Elías explained and helped him understand, he really thought that the kid would leave but, instead, Theodore looked at his guitar, taking in the paint work in it.

“Is it yours?” he asked, turning to Elías, who had never seen him so excited in his entire stay at Hogwarts. He had something between his hands that Theodore obviously cared about so he should be careful with it and appreciate it, even if Elías was a bit vulnerable at the moment.

“It is,” Elías nodded, smiling a bit at him. “Do you wanna see it?”

“Yeah!” he nodded, scrambling to stand and Elías chuckled a bit, happy to see him smiling for once. The professor stood, lifting the guitar from the desk, sitting down on top of it and letting the instrument rest over his thighs. “Here it is.”

“It’s  _ so pretty _ ,” Theodore whispered, lifting a hand before he hesitated. “May I touch it, sir?”

“Yes, you can,” Elías nodded, watching him excitedly run his fingers over the strings, jumping a bit at the sound, startling Elías a bit at the look of wonder and amazement. “Have you never seen a guitar before?” he asked, thinking of how he’d learned how to talk with the songs his father had played. 

“Father doesn’t like them,” he said quietly, shrugging a bit. “Mum used to have uh, a harp. But he got rid of it when she got sick, because she couldn’t play anymore and… he said she wouldn’t miss it much. He hates music.”

“Oh,” Elías supplied, feeling like an utter fool.

This boy wasn’t okay. He wasn’t okay and no household would ever place a  _ no music  _ rule. What kind of man threw away his sick wife’s instrument? What kind of  _ monster  _ did it take to tell this boy that he couldn’t play music?

“How long have you been playing?” Theodore asked curiously, sitting on his own desk and Elías didn’t reprimand him because he didn’t have the heart.

“I don’t know? Uh…” Elías laughed. “Since I was your age, probably. So about… eight years or so.”

“That’s a lot,” Theodore said, eyes wide.

“Not at all,” he laughed. “My pa has been playing for over thirty years.”

“You’re  _ joking _ ,” Theo’s eyes were full of amazement, leaning in closer. “Wow… your father taught you?”

“Yeah, he did,” Elías nodded. “Guitar, at least. The others I learned back in muggle college. I studied music for three years.”

“Wait, you studied music? You studied as a  _ muggle _ ?” he looked so confused and startled. “Muggles have  _ colleges _ ?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, knowing this was part of the smear campaign and pureblood propaganda they fed to these kids. Let Theodore know the truth. Let him talk to his group of popular Slytherins about it. “In fact, muggles have way more colleges than we do, and way more classes, even if they’re not magic. I enjoyed my time at university very much.”

“So it’s true, then,” Theodore’s lips pressed together, looking conflicted. “You’re a…”

He trailed off and Elías looked over at him, seeing the variety of thoughts running through the kid’s head, his environmental and social drilling of  _ muggles bad _ and  _ muggles are the source of our problems  _ conflicting with the image he had to an idealized Elías - Slytherin, modern, innovative and understanding of his problems. Elías knew the teen idealized him, knew that someday he’d grow out of it but he also knew that having an adult whom he could trust that  _ was coming from muggles  _ would help him a lot.

“A mudblood?” Elías finished, making Theodore’s eyes go really wide, looking nervous. “That’s what came to mind first, right? Calling me a mudblood?”

“N-no, sir! No!” he panicked, shaking his head.

“It’s alright,” Elías said softly, adjusting the guitar before taking his wand. He lifted his arm a bit, the right one, and he did notice Theodore flinching when he did, as if Elías would strike him. Another red flag. “Look.”

He pressed the tip of his wand to the palm of his right hand and sliced, letting blood seep out. Theodore seemed to absolutely freeze, eyes on his hand and Elías made a fist for a moment before opening his palm again, showing the red of his blood all over his hand.

“Now, I don’t see any mud,” he hummed casually, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Do you?”

“I… don’t know,” Theodore confessed quietly.

“Touch it, then, if you want,” Elías shrugged, offering him his hand.

The kid recoiled a bit, hands raising as to protect his face but he quickly let them down, swallowing, looking at Elías’ wound. Then, as if possessed, he rushed to grab his hand and inspect it, breath picking up a bit as he touched Elías’ blood and scrubbed it between his thumb and index, as if he’d find anything there. He looked absolutely shattered, like the ground had broken from under him and Elías wondered if all these kids knew of this simple thing. 

He hadn’t thought  _ anyone _ believed muggleborns had literal mud in their veins. But apparently, kids did. What other outrageous propaganda had they been feeding these children? How many would grow into adults with favored positions of power due to their ‘blood purity’ and  _ still _ believe these outrageous myths?

“It’s like mine,” Theodore whispered, hands moving back and Elías scourgified it all into some semblance of cleanness, reaching into his desk for the first aid kit which he used to bandage his hand. “Your blood’s like mine.”

“Yep, sure is,” Elías hummed, still trying to look calm and light hearted. “Makes you wonder what else is false about muggles and muggleborns, hmm?”

“Are… are you alright?” Theodore decided to ask, gesturing at his hand. “Y-you didn’t have to slice open your hand -”

“Oh, I think I did,” Elías chuckled, smiling at him to reassure him that it was quite alright. “I think it showed you a very important thing, didn’t it?”

“Yes, I suppose,” Theodore murmured, falling quiet for a moment before he asked, “What’s it like? Living… with muggles?”

“I’d say it’s the same as living with wizards,” Elías told him, then paused. “But with a lot more cleaning, if anything. I think we’re more different because you’re British and I’m Spanish. But I find it very similar, Theodore.”

“For real?” he frowned. “But… what about, like…” he paused, not knowing where to start. “What about school? Where do they go to school?”

“Well, that depends,” Elías smiled. “Before I went to Hogwarts, I used to go to the elementary school in my town, in San Fernando. It was big and religious and I had to wear a uniform, much like you. I didn’t have to live within the grounds, my house was right in front of the school. But people taught like here. We had classes. We had lunch breaks. We had friends to play sports with. And the kids going to that school now still do. And they’re all muggle.”

“But it’s different,” Theodore began, frowning. “They’re…” he made a face. “They don’t know what we do, right? They’re dumber. That’s why they’re muggles.”

“Well, my father’s a muggle,” Elías told him, watching Theodore take it all in. “And you should hear him play guitar - or tell you about how to build a computer. Do you know what a computer is?”

“No,” Theodore confessed.

“It’s a very advanced piece of technology,” Elías put his guitar aside. “It has all these electrical connections and it works in a very specific language that must be written so precisely that there are jobs for people who speak it. Very specific jobs. Does that sound dumb to you?”

“No,” Theodore repeated, quieter. “It sounds… very smart.”

“I’d wager,” Elías leaned in a bit towards Theodore. “That not even Professor Snape would be able to build a computer.”

Theodore smiled a bit at that, laughing, “No way! Professor Snape is so smart!”

“Oh, he is, but he grew up as a wizard, not a muggle, like me,” Elías told him, smiling. “So he doesn’t even know what a computer is.”

“Maybe he’s taken Muggle Studies,” Theodore countered.

“Ah, but a computer is such a recent thing, I really doubt it,” Elías laughed, grinning. “But you see - maybe if Severus knew of muggles and their computers and their languages - maybe he  _ would  _ know how to build a computer. Or maybe he wouldn’t.”

“You’re saying muggles could do magic if they knew about it?” Theodore frowned.

“No,” Elías replied. “I’m saying that muggles, despite not knowing about magic, have built a highly advanced piece of technology that lets them communicate faster than owls, than patronus, than the most sophisticated magic we’ve seen. Maybe they can’t apparate - but they’ve built planes and cars and trains. The very train you guys ride to get here.”

“It was a muggle invention?”

“Sure was,” Elías nodded, shrugging. “What does that say to you?”

Theodore was pensieve, looking at the guitar on the side, rubbing his shoulder. “That… muggles aren’t dumb.”

“No, no, beyond that,” Elías pushed a bit, giving him an encouraging smile. 

“Beyond what?” Theodore questioned.

“Beyond simple facts that you got wrong,”’ Elías explained. “Like muggles being dumb. Or muggleborns having mud on their veins. What are other things that you’re sure about muggles?”

“They’re cruel,” Theodore immediately said, swallowing. “And barbaric. They’re warmongering and they get everyone into trouble. They fight among themselves and kill each other because it’s their natural state.”

This wasn’t something he’d heard at school from a fellow student, this was something that had been drilled into his head by an adult. With very specific words. Elías felt his anger rise but he kept himself calm by looking at Theodore, looking at the face of youth that he could help change for the better.

“Did we or did we not have a Great Wizarding War - almost two, in fact?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I… yes, but ours was different!” Theodore defended.

“How so?”

“Grindelwald was a bad man,” he stated, so sure of himself.

“Why?”

At that, Theodore paused, scratching his arm, wincing. He didn’t know the answer. These kids had been told things, knew so many facts, knew them to be true, were so sure of their answers but they’d never been asked why. And very probably, if any of them had asked why, they’d been reprieved of an answer. A real one.

“Why was he a bad man, Theodore?” Elías asked again.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.

“Because he wanted to murder muggles,” Elías responded, making the kid wince. “Because he took a look at our society, at our Wizarding society, and declared that instead of looking for a way to get rid of the Statute of Secrecy by advocating for muggle/wizard cooperation and running a campaign against the current minister, he would murder every single muggle who came his way. For the greater good.”

“What’s the greater good?” Theodore asked.

“It was a phrase he used,” Elías explained softly. “Grindelwald said that wizards were the ones not benefitting from the Statute since it had been established and, to an extent, I actually agree with him, you know?” he chuckled as he saw Theodore almost fall off his chair. “I don’t think any of us benefit from this type of segregation. But I do understand that the politics around it are delicate, and it’s a delicate situation we’re in, one I won’t pretend to know the finest points of. But I don’t think we should murder people for it. And time and time again, we’ve seen people rise over others and declaring that muggles are the single problem for everything. Do you see why?”

“No, sir,” Theodore murmured, but he looked more relaxed, listening in.

“Because it’s easier,” Elías tapped Theodore’s forehead. “Don’t you like it when your answers on exams are whole numbers instead of fractions?”

“Oh yes,” he nodded quickly. “I do. Very much.”

“Well, the grown-up world is a lot like that, as well,” Elías laughed. “The boring adult world of politics. There are a lot of equations that you’ve to apply and a lot of math problems to solve before you even get near the answer. And when you do get it, it’s a fraction, not a whole number. People like it when the answer is direct. And very often, the answer will come before the equation has been made, even.”

“So… people are blaming muggles for other problems?” Theodore asked.

“Yes!” Elías nodded, noticing how Theodore now seemed genuinely okay, no longer scared or on high alert. He was starting to genuinely relax around him. Good. That poor kid needed to rest a bit, too. “Obviously, muggles aren’t all-pure and giving. But that’s because we’re human, all of us. Magic or non magic.”

“But why do they blame muggles, then?” Theodore frowned.

“Because we, as wizards, hold power over those who don’t have magic,” Elías explained softly, giving him a little sad look. “Has Blaise or Pansy ever talked about their skin color?”

Theodore’s face crisped and he ran through various emotions for a moment before he sighed deeply, “Yes, we - I don’t really understand? Fully? But I believe Blaise and… people say some nasty,  _ nasty _ things to him and Pansy,” he told Elías. “I just don’t get it, though! Why would - why would you be mean to someone and hate them about something they’ve been  _ born  _ as? Something -”

“They can’t change?” Elías cocked an eyebrow, waving his wounded hand and Theodore’s entire face became a picture of realization. “Something they were never to blame for? Something  _ so _ stupid. Skin color - what does skin color have to do with their personality, hmm?”

“Nothing,” Theodore whispered, eyes on the floor, shoulders shaking a bit. “Nothing, it -  _ nothing. _ ”

“Or perhaps - have any of your friends come out of the closet?” Elías asked.

“Oh, uh -” he flushed a bit, looking behind him to the door, as if making sure nobody was there. “Well, uh… Pansy came out as bi this year. And Blaise is, too. Crabbe we think might be gay but his father really wouldn’t like that so we’re all keeping it quiet.”

“I see,” Elías said, giving him a small smile. “So am I. But in any case - why do you think Crabbe’s father doesn’t want his son to be gay?”

“Because he hates gay people,” Theodore answered.

“But  _ why _ ?”

“I… don’t know,” Theodore frowned again, then watched Elías. “Is - is this a thing, then? Just people hating on others for things they can’t change? Or - or things they didn’t choose?”

“Yeah, that’s bigotry,” Elías laughed, so surprised to see this thirteen year old boy suddenly learn about  _ discrimation _ as a whole, with multiple faces. “And it’s not just some people hating others. This goes well into everything we know, everything the wizarding world has built.”

“What? Really?!”

“Do you know what NINA signs are?” Elías hummed.

“Uh… no,” Theodore leaned in, listening with rapt attention and Gods, please,  _ Morpheus, for the love of every Greek God in the skies listening in, let this kid be the fire that ignites a slow flame in younger Slytherins.  _ “What are they?”

“ _ No Irish Need Apply, _ ” Elías said and Theodore’s face went white.

“The Irish too?!” he asked and Elías nodded.

“Do you ever wonder why people get so mad at Mr Finnigan for talking in Irish? Why they insult him and think of him as… you know,  _ barbaric _ ? Clumsy? Dumb?”

“I -” Theodore’s world was crumbling before his eyes. “I didn’t know -”

“It extends to jobs, suddenly,” Elías explained, waving his hand before sighing deeply, feeling a memory coming back. “You know I really love potions, right, Theodore?”

“Y-yes, you - you’ve that thing with Professor Snape going on. Passing Sixth Year and all that,” Theodore nodded.

“I wanted to become a potioneer when I was your age,” he told him, smiling a bit. “I wanted to be a potions master, actually, and have my own shop in Diagon Alley, sell all my ingredients and potions and write books about my discoveries and go around the world learning from other famous potioneers.”

“Why didn’t you?” Theodore asked.

“For two reasons,” he explained. “One of them was that I fell into a very bad situation where my mental health took a toll, so I failed Potions and couldn’t take my N.E.W.T.. But even if I’d been able to take my exams, and even if I’d managed to get the highest grades among my peers, I never would’ve been able to be a potions master.”

Theodore frowned, “What?”

“The right is reserved for  _ members of the highest esteem in wizarding society, recommended by other three potioneers to be capable of using the Ministry’s resources to the maximum and aid the people in the United Kingdom _ ,” he recited, then gave a bit of an eyeroll. “In other words, I need a letter of recommendation from three of the seventeen potion masters in England, sixteen of which are pureblood and one who is half-blood,” he shrugged. “All muggleborns who ask for applications get turned down. And I only knew this because my sister’s friend was turned down and she uncovered it all.”

“What?! That’s outrageous!” Theodore burst out. “If you’re able to be as good as them, why would they turn you down?!”

“Because they believe that I couldn’t  _ possibly _ be as good as them,” Elías explained, tapping his injured hand. “After all, I was born to barbaric, dumb, clumsy, warmongering muggles, right? They couldn’t have raised a wizard of esteem.”

Theodore sat back down in his chair, looking absolutely stunned, watching Elías with a look of horror. 

“Half of the muggleborns who leave Hogwarts end up staying in muggle society,” Elías told him, eyebrows raising. “A lot of them use magic minimally and simply… live as muggles. I did that myself.”

“But  _ why _ ?” Theodore asked, looking mildly upset. “Don’t you like magic?”

“I do, Theodore, I do,” Elías said softly, looking at the kid with a bit of sadness. “But I don’t like slurs. I don’t like having my application turned down because my name doesn’t sound wizardy enough. I don’t like having to sit beside colleagues who complain about the muggle next door who said hi to them,  _ how dare they _ . I don’t like having my colleagues and my fellow students think that I’m dumb as rocks for being muggleborn. I don’t like that everyone assumes that I’m a Ravenclaw because a muggleborn could  _ never  _ be a Slytherin. I don’t like when people assume stereotypes,  _ harmful anti-muggle  _ stereotypes, of me or other muggleborns. It’s tiring. I can’t change it. And I don’t even wish I was half-blood or pureblood. I’m proud of being a muggleborn.”

“You are?” Theodore asked, surprised.

“Yes!” Elías laughed a bit, grinning. “Muggles are  _ awesome _ ! Their cities are astonishing and their imagination knows no limits! I love my muggle home, by the sea. I love my family, my parents and my cousins and my aunts and uncles. I love my neighbors and the fisherman who sets up a little shop by the bay of Cadiz. I love it all as much as I love Hogwarts’ high walls, the little corners of Hogsmeade, the smell of Diagon Alley and the ceiling of the Great Hall.”

“I’ve never met a muggle,” Theodore confessed, looking uncomfortable.

“I’m basically one,” Elías laughed, waving his hand a bit. “I live a lot like one, at least until I came to Hogwarts.”

“Oh,” Theodore pondered, looking at Elías as they began to hear the sound of students climbing up the stairs. “Then… then so far, I like one muggle.”

Elías grinned, ruffling the kid’s hair, making Theodore laugh and push his hand away, standing before anyone could see him giggle.

“This was a nice talk, Theodore,” Elías told him, smiling at him. “If you ever have a question about muggles - let me know, yes? I’ll gladly answer it. And not tell anyone,” he added.

“Thanks, professor,” Theodore told him honestly, moving to take a seat, Slytherins and Ravenclaws pouring in, looking way too tired, making Elías chuckle a bit.

“Are you all ready for Gemini, class?” he called, the students all groaning. “Aw, come on, don’t be like that!” he lifted his wand, about to cast the charm for the star map when Pansy gasped.

“Professor! Is your hand alright?” she asked, looking at his bandage.

“Oh, this?” Elías waved it, moving his fingers a bit before smiling at her. “Just a tiny little thing. Don’t worry, Ms Parkinson. I promise you it was well worth it to get it.”

* * *

On Friday afternoon. That was when he realized a little change had happened.

Not just in his Slytherin students - mainly the Malfoy posse, the lot of them looking at Elías very differently since his talk with Malfoy. But also in, of all people, Severus Snape.

Because the moment he entered the Dungeons on Friday, ready to make Amortentia and pass his Advanced Potions class, Severus’ hand was on his wrist and he was pulling it up, looking at his bandage, eyes crisp with annoyance.

“What the hell have you done to your hand?” he hissed.

“Ow,” Elías mumbled, just to be an asshole, but Severus let his wrist go, making him sigh. “I got a cut on it, that’s all, it’s not a big deal.”

“How did you cut yourself to the point of needing a bandage?” Severus asked, his hands a bit more gentle as he grasped Elías’ hand and unraveled the gauze, making the Spaniard sigh deeply. “Well?”

“Weren’t we going to brew Amortentia?” Elías asked him, annoyed.

“In a moment,” Severus finally pulled the gauze away and Elías winced as Severus stared at his hand, at the clean and healing but big cut. “What the  _ hell  _ -”

“I cut my hand open to show Theodore Nott that I had no mud in my blood,” he finally told him, trying to snatch his hand away. “Happy now?”

“You  _ cut yourself _ ?!” Severus growled. “Did you clean it? How do you know you don’t need - bah! I’ll do it myself!” he snapped, pulling Elías towards his office, making the other wizard scramble to follow after him, wrist still in Severus’ grip.

“Hey! N-no, I’m fine!” he flushed. “It’s fine! It’ll heal with time!”

“Why wait when you can  _ not _ wait? Efficiency, Fernández, you’ve to be capable of doing complex knife work tonight and yet you’re here with a wound you didn’t bother to  _ fix _ .”

“I…” Elías blinked, stepping into his office after him and Severus let go of his hand to look for a bottle among his collection. “Sorry, I just - forgot I could just cure it.”

Severus glanced at him, frowning deeply before he suddenly understood and he gave a big roll of his eyes, shaking his head.

“Muggles,” he mumbled with distaste, making Elías’ anger rise.

“Yeah, muggles,” he snapped at the professor, making Severus turn to him. “I  _ am _ a muggleborn. I’ve lived most of my life as a muggle. Of course I wouldn’t use magic to fix it. Do you have a problem with that?”

“Not at all,” Severus grasped a bottle on a high shelf and turned to Elías, hand reaching out to grab him again but Elías pulled back, glaring. “Fernández -”

“Don’t ever say it like that again,” Elías whispered, still thinking of his conversation with Theodore, of the way Blaise now spoke in his classes, of Malfoy staring at Hermione during the Thursday morning class, looking conflicted. 

“What?” Severus tried to reach for his hand again but Elías stepped back, angered. 

“Don’t  _ ever  _ use muggle as a -” he swallowed, unable to finish. “My parents are muggles, Severus. My family is muggle. Do  _ not  _ use it as a despective word.”

Severus stared at him, eyes scanning his face, and for a few seconds, the two of them just stared at each other - Severus analyzing him and Elías with his fight or flight instincts coming in. He could see it before it happened, saw it in Severus’ eyes, saw it like Elías had seen many others before him do it and when Severus leaned in, Elías was absolutely terrified in his place.

“ _ Mudblood _ ,” he hissed at Elías, hatred dripping from it and Elías’ hand swung before he could even think about it, the sound of the slap echoing through his office.

Severus’ head cracked to the side from the force and Elías grabbed his bag tightly and turned around, practically running out of the dungeons, eyes wide and heart in his throat and his legs barely fucking working. He could feel the edges of his vision swim and he didn’t know if it was a panic attack, a Sighting or if he was about to burst into tears.

Before he could leave the dungeons, though, he felt a hand wrap around his forearm and Elías swung back, trying to pull himself free, thinking of every single lesson he’d had in MMA, thinking of all those self-defense classes, thinking of the basics of boxing and promptly forgetting all about it as panic swallowed him up.

“Let me go, let me go,  _ let me go! _ ” he tried to pull Severus’ tight grip away. 

“Calm  _ down _ , Fernández, it’s just a  _ word _ , you’re better than a wo -”

“ _ LET ME GO! _ ” he screamed, sobbing, clawing at his hand and Severus released his arm, making Elías fall to the floor, the cut in his hand opening but he felt  _ nothing _ , breathing rapidly and trying to stand, lungs collapsing under the weight of his panic.

“Fernández -  _ Fernández _ , calm down,” Severus was getting closer and the stairs were so narrow and Elías couldn’t get up and there was no light and this man was  _ bigger  _ than him and obviously  _ stronger  _ and Elías was already thinking of all the things he would never get out to the public because Dumbledore would  _ always  _ protect Severus - “ _ Elías! _ ” he snapped, reaching out for him again but Elías wrenched himself away, out of the stairs leading to the dungeons, hands shaking. “ _ Elías, bloody hell - _ ”

“ _ ¡NO ME TOQUES! _ ” Elías shouted, slapping his hand away with his own injured one and his blood -

His blood sprayed over Severus, right across his chin and neck and immediately, Elías’ world tilted and his eyes went blank, falling unconscious to a Sight.


	19. Return to Normalcy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by serotonin.

Elías woke up in the morning, it seemed, his eyelashes flickering against pale rays of sunlight. How strange, he thought, to see the sun when he felt like he’d seen nothing but darkness for days. He could hear someone talking to him but he… didn’t really care to understand, watching the ceiling, pondering why he, of all people, had the Sight.

He was powerless. He could only  _ see _ , never  _ act on it.  _ He wasn’t good at dueling, at fighting, at changing things. He was barely good at his biggest passion, music, and he was scared of everyone and everything. Elías was weak, no matter how much he trained, how many people he’d physically fought, how many times he’d boasted about being stabbed, punched, beaten to the ground and still gotten up.

Elías was just - a big fraud.

“Good morning,” Dumbledore said softly when Elías sat up, numbly staring at his shaking hands, a bandage around his right one. That’s right, he’d had a wound. He remembered that. “How are you, Elías?”

The professor said nothing, blinking for a moment, trying not to disassociate too hard as he tried to think of his last name. He had a last name. He couldn’t find it. It was on the tip of his tongue and he turned to Dumbledore, opening his mouth, but his voice was gone, hand flying to his throat.

“You screamed quite a lot,” Dumbledore pointed out, holding out a goblet filled with water for him. Elías took it, though barely able to hold it due to his feeble hands. “Worried everyone very much, Elías.”

Drinking deeply, Elías closed his eyes, the pounding in his head slowing to something manageable, blinking slowly to regain a bit more of his vision before sighing, giving the goblet back to Dumbledore. The Headmaster settled it on the nightstand and gave him a look.

“What’s the date?”

“1899,” he rasped and Dumbledore’s soft look dropped. “Saw you,” Elías laughed a bit, leaning back on his pillows, exhausted. “Saw her blood spilled all over the beach. Now I know w-why you told me you didn’t like the ocean.”

There was quiet for a moment. Then -

“I’m very sorry you had to see that, Elías. It was… not my proudest moment, I hope you know. I am not the same man as I was that summer.”

“No, you’re worse,” Elías easily said, watching the windows leading outside. The day was clear. The weather had cleared. It’d been raining, he remembered, when he spoke to Theodore about Grindelwald. Maybe that was what triggered the vision. “You love him, don’t you?”

“I used to,” Dumbledore replied honestly. “We do crazy things for love.”

“Is that why you use it so often?” Elías coughed, wincing. “You get everyone t-to see this vision of you… afable kind old man. Powerful wizard. A pillar o-of justice.” He paused, feeling a bit of despair as he spoke next. “You make all these kids trust you, think that you just want them to be okay… but you just want to end the war at whatever cost.”

“Some would say that’s an honorable quest -”

“Some people don’t know you ignored the rape of a child to serve your own needs of power again the Ministry,” Elías cut in, eyes moving to Dumbledore, impossibly angry. “That’s what it’s about, right? Power? I bet you’re blackmailing him. I bet he has connections and information that you want, that you need for your little war effort.”

“There is no war yet, Elías, and I plan to make it stay that way,” Dumbledore explained.

“I was  _ fifteen _ ,” Elías whispered, eyes filling with tears. “I really don’t understand how you lot can look at bigotry and wizard supremacy in the eyes and be absolutely seduced. The lack of empathy, the lack of humanity you all exhibit…” he sobbed. “It’s  _ horrifying _ .”

“I was young and impressionable,” the wizard defended, standing. “But you won’t understand, indeed. Because you were never in my position. This is why you’ll never save those Slytherin kids -”

Elías took the goblet from the nightstand and threw it with all his strength at Dumbledore, the wizard easily bouncing it away with a quick  _ protego _ , blue eyes staring at him from over his half-moon glasses, that twinkle in his eyes gone. Once upon a time he’d trusted this man to protect children such as Harry Potter or Theodore Nott or Oliver Wood or Draco Malfoy. Kids - with aspirations, innocence, kids able to change and see the error of their elders, children who could not carry the sins of the father without tainting their souls.

Elías screamed. He let out the loudest, most voice-breaking scream he had in him and it still wasn’t  _ enough _ . He screamed until his voice gave in again, until Pomfrey had to restrain him, until Dumbledore left and even then, he still couldn’t help but keep  _ crying _ .

He could see Ariana, poor Ariana, laying in the sand with her blood spilling slowly, eyes blank. He could hear the horrified cries of Aberforth, falling to his knees, trying to keep her with him, beside him, alive and happy. He’d been the only one to care for her, just a poor girl whose magic was too much, too unpredictable for anyone else to care.

And now, the man who had killed his fourteen year old sister over a summer romance was the Headmaster of Hogwarts, in charge of so many kids like her.

Elías was sedated, which eventually made him rest but when he awoke again, he was alone, with no one to scream at, no one to blame, no one to unleash every frustration he had. Severus wasn’t coming, not after that scene - and Elías certainly didn’t want him here after calling him the worst word he could’ve possibly thrown at him. Remus probably was trying to stay as far away from him as he could and his students will probably have been told that he’s sick.

Maybe he should call Elena.

The thought made him suddenly, miserably lonely and he sobbed out loud, hand moving over his mouth to quieten himself. He wanted to go  _ home _ . He wanted to leave this damned place, wanted to stop - stop having these Sights and these complicated feelings about Remus and Dumbledore and the Slytherin kids with stars in their eyes. He wanted to go home and slide into his own creaky bed, swim in Cortadura, go to a bar with his father and talk about everything that he felt. He could even imagine what dad would do, his hand warm on Elías’ back, patting gently as he gave some advice in that soft voice of his -  _ Remember that things don’t always go the way you want them to _ , he would say,  _ and it’s not about how much it hurts, it’s about how you can learn from that hurt, how you can grow and adapt. _

Elías took in a deep breath, watching the darkened windows of the castle, thinking of all those years feeling like he should be at home here. The adventure his bookworm self had always wanted. Magic everywhere at his hands. Yet he’d been separated from everyone, ostracized as a Slytherin, as a muggleborn, as a trans man, as a weird child. It seemed like a joke. Like he’d never been meant to be…

...here.

Elías swallowed, sitting up, feeling like he’d cracked the puzzle.

It wasn’t about him. It wasn’t about  _ him _ . There was no reason for  _ him _ , Elías, to have the Sight. It just happened to be given to him. It didn’t matter - his past, his blood status, his trauma, none of that  _ mattered _ . The only thing that did was the fact that Elías could  _ See _ . And if he could See, then he could change things. He wasn’t here to - to have a romantic relationship with Remus, to be friends with Severus, to be  _ someone _ in the wizarding world.

No, he was here to change things. And change them, he would.

He stood, leaving the bed, a bit dizzy but mostly fine, pushing through it to start getting dressed. He found his clothes neatly folder on a chair and he quickly began to pull on his jeans, taking off the pajamas he’d been wearing, working on getting his shirt over his head when he heard someone enter the Hospital Wing - not Pomfrey, she would’ve come out of her rooms, this was someone else and Elías was ready to fucking fist fight Dumbledore if he had to to get out of the damn Hospital Wing when, as he finished pulling on his shirt, he came face to face with Remus.

Elías froze, hands on the buttons of his shirt, still shaking too hard to even button them, watching the man as he also paused in front of Elías.

“W-what -” Remus stuttered, cutting himself off with a sigh before he approached Elías, about to grasp him, touch him,  _ touch him _ when Elías stepped back, almost falling against the wall, eyes wild.

“Do  _ not  _ touch me,” he warned, voice dark and shot.

“I won’t,” Remus replied quietly, his hands raising, watching Elías with worried eyes.

Remus looked… tired. Maybe even as tired as Elías was. He had bags under his eyes, looked a bit thinner, his clothes a bit misplaced, a bit wrinkly, and Elías wondered what day it was, suddenly. He’d - he’d gone into the Sight on Friday, hadn’t he? After - no, before the Amortentia. Fuck,  _ fuck,  _ the Amortentia. Remus’ wolfsbane.  _ Shit _ .

“What day is it?” Elías asked, raspy.

“It’s Wednesday,” Remus told him, frowning. “You… you were under for a long time.”

“It happens,” he whispered, shrugging, starting to button his shirt - trying to.

“You were…” Remus sounded perturbed. “You were screaming.”

“Did the kids hear?” Elías asked, pausing.

“No, Pomfrey placed a soundless charm on the Wing,” Remus explained, watching Elías with a strange face.

“Oh, good,” Elías nodded, sighing as he tried to get the first button again, feeling frustration build up.

“May I -” 

Elías looked up, seeing Remus gesturing at his shirt and for a moment, Elías wanted to say no. Wanted to tell him that thank you very much, but he could fucking button his shirt like a normal person, like anyone else, and he didn’t need Remus’ help or his pity.

“Yeah, please,” he ended up saying, because he recognized that Remus wasn’t asking out of pity, but out of worry. The man looked… haggard with worry, in fact. “I - is this the first time you came by?”

“No,” Remus murmured, slowly stepping closer before his hands - very slow as well - began to work on his buttons, starting from the bottom, lips a bit pursed. “I came as soon as I heard.”

“Oh,” Elías supplied, touched but unable to admit it to himself, swallowing as Remus got so close, his heart skipping a beat. Not  _ again _ . 

“I was worried,” he told Elías quietly, eyes on his hands and not on Elías’ own blues. “I heard… I heard you scream. In the dungeons. I thought maybe the potion had gone wrong, maybe -” he cut himself off with a sigh, green eyes tired. “I went there and you were bleeding and Severus was shouting at me to get Pomfrey.”

“Fuck,” Elías breathed, eyes closing as Remus finished buttoning his shirt, his warm hands brushing his too-cold face. “Uh… sorry you had to see me like that.”

“Elías, what  _ happened _ ?” Remus asked him, eyes wide, hand about to touch him when he remembered what Elías had asked for and just let it fall. The mere thought of Remus actually taking into account, validating his needs? It nearly sent Elías into crying but he’d had enough of that. 

So Elías ended up reaching for Remus’ hand, gripping it tight, swallowing past the knot in his throat to breathe in, breathe out slowly. He thought Remus would maybe pull away but instead, the werewolf tightened his grip and pulled Elías a bit closer, enough for Elías to finally give in and lean against his chest, muffling a small whine into his shirt.

“I had a Sighting,” Elías explained as Remus gently wrapped him into a hug and it was  _ so nice _ that Elías wept quietly. “I saw fucking - Dumbledore when he was young. With Grindelwald. They were in love and talking about - the greater good and the fucking power of a children’s story and - and I saw him basically  _ kill  _ his own little sister.”

“ _ Merlin _ ,” Remus breathed. “How - how long was this?”

“Three months. In my head. I don’t know how much time passed here,” Elías croaked, gripping the back of Remus’ sweater. “I’m so… tired, Remus…”

“Three  _ months _ ?!” the werewolf’s eyes widened and he hugged Elías tighter. “Merlin’s beard, Elías, you’ve been gone for three months?!”

“Yeah, I guess,” he sniffled, nose burrowing into Remus’ shoulder. “M’sorry.”

“No, no, no! No, Elías, it’s not your fault!” he rushed to say, pulling Elías a bit away so he could brush his greasy, untamed hair out of his blue eyes, Remus’ greens earnest. “This is horrible but it’s not your fault, alright? You couldn’t help it. Did - what was going on in the Dungeons? What happened?”

Elías sniffled, eyes closing, melting at the touch of Remus’ hands on his face, his own trembling ones moving to grab his wrists, having something to ground him.

“He called me a mudblood to provoke me,” he choked.

“He  _ what _ ?” Remus breathed.

“He said muggles in a despective way and - and I told him not to do it so he turned a-and said  _ mudblood _ and I slapped him and tried to get out o-of the dungeons b-but he was grabbing at me and I k-kept thinking that Dumbledore is a-always protecting him and h-he could’ve done anything he wa-wanted to me?”

“For the love of Godric,  _ no _ ,” Remus pulled him in again, cradling Elías against his front and Elías let him, let himself sob over everything that had happened since the year began, his hands tangling into Remus’ own hair. He’d missed him so much. “Nothing’s going to happen to you, it won’t - it won’t happen again, I won’t allow it.”

“ _ Remus _ -”

“Try and breathe, alright?” he encouraged softly, rubbing Elías’ back. “Focus on breathing right now. Don’t overthink everything else - first we need you to draw back from all that panic. You’re safe now, you’re  _ safe _ . I’m right here.”

Elías choked, crying hard, letting it all out as Remus moved to sit on the bed and just let Elías clamber up on his lap. Remus was -  _ Gods _ . Elías was incredibly grateful that despite what he knew of Elías’ feelings, he was still willing to show such affection for his sake. It made his heart clench and he curled up into the tightest, smallest thing he could muster, forehead against Remus’ neck, the sobbing turning into sniffling, turning into the occasional hiccup.

He didn’t know how long the two stayed like that, close together, Remus whispering small little things that just calmed him down, but he appreciated every single second of it. Because by the time the sky had fully darkened and there wasn’t a single sound outside the Hospital Wing, Elías felt better than he had in the whole of January.

“I think I stained your sweater,” Elías said a bit nasally as he finally pulled back, Remus blinking at him before looking down at his wet clothes.

“Oh, no matter,” he chuckled, waving his wand swiftly before turning to Elías. “How do you feel?”

“Honestly?” Elías swallowed. “So much better than I’ve in a while.”

Remus gave him a small smile, arm tightening around him. “I’m glad, Elías. And… I’m sorry.”

“S’not your fault,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face clean of tears.

“No, but it is,” Remus replied, his own thumb brushing at Elías’ cheek and Elías gave a little sniffle. “I was too in my head. I kept - blaming you for things that you couldn’t help. It was a difficult situation. Would I’ve wanted to know earlier? Yes. Had I been in your position, would I have done it earlier myself? No. I think… I was extremely harsh in my judgement, and it was born out of frustration and unresolved feelings regarding…”

“Sirius,” Elías finished, making Remus wince. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re right,” he murmured, rubbing his own nose before looking at Elías. “We’ve to talk about that. Not right now but… soon. Sometime.”

“So you still wanna be friends, then?” Elías asked, voice breaking, looking at Remus, who gave him a soft look, fingers brushing Elías’ hair behind his ear. 

“Yes, Elías,” he nodded, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry I acted the way I did.”

“I just want things to go back to how they were,” Elías confessed, eyes sad. “I want to joke with you and go to Hogsmeade with you and - and play songs and have lunch in your office and bitch about schedules. Can we do that?”

“We can, yes,” Remus smiled, pulling him in for another hug, which Elías returned tightly. “Gods, I’m so sorry. I am  _ so sorry _ I left you like that. You must’ve felt -”

“Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter,” Elías breathed, holding Remus back tight. “I just want you back in my life. That’s all I want.”

“I am,” Remus promised, letting Elías shift out of his lap to dizzily look at the werewolf. “How do you feel? Are you alright, physically?”

“Head’s pounding,” Elías confessed, hand gripping his hair. “I feel… like I need a good shower and some sleep, if I’m honest.”

“We can achieve that,” Remus told him, standing to pick up his pajamas before turning to him. “Let’s get you to your rooms. Can you walk?”

“Yeah, I - I can, I think,” Elías nodded, standing and walking a few meters, just to check. “I may trip a bit but I can walk.”

“I’ll go with you, just in case,” Remus said, walking next to him, his left arm free to catch Elías if he should fall. 

“Thank you,” Elías murmured, the two walking through the deserted night halls of Hogwarts, Remus’ wand raised with a powerful  _ lumos. _

Elías had been sure that if Remus and he ever got to regain their friendship, it’d be at the cost of the affection they’d both previously shown to each other. He had been so sure of it but when Elías almost tripped, Remus was there to catch him, arm around his waist, Elías’ eyes widening when Remus didn’t move his hand from his body. It felt good, though. To know that even if things  _ had _ changed, they’d only changed for the better. More honestly, no more hiding, no more lies. Elías had all his secrets on the table for Remus to see.

“Today’s Wednesday, right?” Elías asked Remus.

“Technically Thursday,” Remus gestured at the darkness encompassing them both.

“Fuck, I missed Theodore’s lesson,” Elías sighed, thinking of the kid getting nervous about not being able to pass his Astronomy class. “I should let him know -”

“Elías,” Remus said softly, gathering the Slytherin’s attention. “Theodore and his friends visited you in the Hospital Wing. They know you weren’t available, it’s alright.”

“Oh,” he murmured, surprised. “What… what were the students told?”

“That there’d been an accident with a potion,” Remus explained. “Severus made sure -”

“I really don’t want to hear about him,” Elías said quietly, looking away from Remus, swallowing. “I really,  _ really _ don’t want to talk about him.”

“Alright,” was all Remus said, no more prying, helping Elías along to the fifth floor bathrooms, standing by the door. “I’ll wait out here for you, alright? If you need anything -”

“I’ll call,” Elías nodded, sighing as he walked in.

Showering was incredible. He felt everything wash away - his anxiety, the dirt and grime from Godric’s Hollow, the sand from the beach, the blood shining in Aberforth’s hands, Severus’ words, the spill of hatred in a single word - it all washed down the drain, leaving Elías panting for a moment against the cool tiles of the shower.

Walking out of the bathroom, he truly felt like a different man - exhausted, nearly collapsing on his feet, but he felt so much better. Remus looked him over, his wet hair and relaxed composure and gave him a small, encouraging smile.

“Let’s get you to bed, come on,” Remus said softly, and Elías hesitated. “Elías?”

“I don’t want to be alone,” he confessed quietly, eyes falling to the floor. “May I sleep on your couch? Please?”

“You can sleep on the bed, don’t worry,” Remus assured him and Elías wanted to fight but he was  _ so _ tired. He really didn’t want to fight him. 

The two walked into Remus’ rooms - unchanged, exactly the same as Elías remembered them and the mere smell and look of Remus’ own place sent Elías into a state of pure relief. He felt safe. He felt okay. He felt like nothing could hurt him here. Remus directed him to his own bed and Elías let himself fall into it, breathing out shakily, face against Remus’ pillows. Smelled so much like him…

“Is there anything else you need?” Remus asked, sitting down beside Elías, looking worried.

“No, I’m - I’m good,” Elías whispered, watching him with watery eyes. “Thank you, Remus. I really don’t know how to - to let you know how m-much it means for you to let me c-crash here. Stay here and - take c-care of me.”

“You’ve done the same thing every month, Elías,” Remus murmured, watching him with kind eyes. “It’s only normal I’d return this.”

“Thank you, still,” Elías murmured, hand reaching for his, slowly entwining their fingers and sighing deeply as he closed his eyes. “Stay?” he begged quietly, half-asleep already.

Remus didn’t reply, but when Elías did fall completely asleep, the Defense Professor had also slid into bed, hand tight around his.

* * *

When Elías awoke in the morning, he could tell that it was still early. He frowned against the direct sunlight hitting his face, cursing the fact that Remus’ rooms weren’t facing the same direction as his own, turning to his side only to smush his face against a warm surface.

Elías blinked his eyes open, yawning, a bit confused only to be met with Remus, half-awake, watching him with amusement.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he chuckled.

“ _ Noooo _ ,” Elías rasped, face moving to just press against Remus’ shoulder. “No morning. It’s still night. Noooo…”

“I’ve classes, Elías,” Remus told him, even though his arm moved around his shoulders. He was wearing a simple shirt - not his clothes, which meant he’d changed to get more comfortable. Elías had never seen him so casual. “Children to teach and such.”

“Well, I’ve no morning classes,” Elías mumbled, gripping his thin shirt, huffing. “So I win. You stay in bed and we sleep all day.”

“Not that I wouldn’t love to do that,” Remus laughed against the top of his head. “But my Fourth Years have an exam. I’ve got lessons with Harry today. And at night, I’m keeping watch.”

“So busy,” Elías sighed, eyes closing, enjoying his arms around him first thing in the morning. “Sooo so busy.”

“Sorry,” Remus laughed, and Elías could feel his smile against his own forehead, smiling back, muscles relaxed. “How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful,” he confessed, sighing quietly against Remus’ collarbones. “I… I needed some sleep. And I guess I needed you, as well.”

Remus was quiet for a moment, making Elías think that maybe he’d crossed a line but Remus tightened his hug and sighed as well.

“I think I need you. As well. I… didn’t do too well these weeks.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault - pretty much mine,” he murmured, his fingers now touching Elías’ hair and oh Gods, he was going to fall asleep again. “Your hair’s so soft.”

“ _ Nnnngh _ ,” was all Elías could say, a puddle of himself in Remus’ bed. “Warm. Safe. Comfy. Don’t stop.”

Remus laughed, his chest moving with it and Elías felt himself just float away, hands against the vibrations of his chest and oh man, this really wasn’t helping with his prolonged crush. This was very bad but… it felt so nice to be here.

Elías would’ve surely fallen asleep but Remus hadn’t begun to speak again, “Do you want to have a quiet dinner here tonight? We could… talk about things.”

“Yeah,” Elías murmured, eyes closed, nose against Remus’ neck. “That’d be nice. Get it all out. Dumbledore won’t do shit about it and I’ve been… having the most Sightings being about Sirius so - I dunno, seems like it’s important.”

“Did you mean it?” Remus asked so very quietly. “About…”

“Sirius being innocent? Yeah,” Elías whispered. “I wouldn’t lie to you about that, Remus. And I thought you ought to know.”

“You’re giving me hope, Elías, I -”

“I know,” he murmured. “I know, Remus. I’m sorry. But I... it’ll become clearer when I explain it.”

“Alright,” Remus said softly, his thumb brushing the shell of Elías’ ear, making Elías’ eyes roll back with the gentle pleasure of being touched. “I trust you.”

“You’re gonna make me cry again, stop it,” he warned, muffled into Remus’ skin, the other man chuckling. “So sleepy… don’t wanna move, like,  _ ever _ .”

“Then don’t,” Remus supplied, pulling away, making Elías whine softly as he stood and stretched. “But I do have obligations, unfortunately. If you’d like to, you can stay here and sleep some more.”

“Really?” Elías blinked at him, yawning.

“Really,” Remus smiled a bit, kneeling in front of the bed, face closer to Elías’. “Rest up. You need it. I’ll let everyone know that you’re alright and that you just need to rest.”

“Thanks, Remus,” Elías murmured, giving him a small smile.

“Anytime,” he responded, leaning closer to kiss his forehead, making Elías practically shudder. “Rest up.”

“Mmmhm…”

Elías closed his eyes, smiling, sprawled on Remus’ bed and getting into position to fall back asleep as Remus closed the curtains and shut the door. Surrounded by him, by his best friend, Elías truly felt safe enough to sleep and not dream.


	20. A Process to Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, eating a pint of ice cream and churning 50k words a week instead of being a productive human being: yo, I bring you a chapter.
> 
> Also, warning for mentions of Child AbuseTM in this chapter but it's nothing you haven't already seen in the original books and the author chose to ignore haha :)

To Elías’ surprise, his presence at lunch caused a big uproar.

He stepped into the Great Hall fifteen minutes after lunch had begun, having fallen asleep between Remus’ pillows and woken up by the professor himself to urge him to eat. So the two were entering the Great Hall, talking in soft voices since Elías’ own voice was wrecked, and the moment Elías’ foot crossed the threshold, he was swarmed by children and teenagers.

“Whoa, whoa!” he lifted his hands, seeing everyone so worried and relieved to see him. “What’s going on?” he rasped, laughing a bit.

“We missed you!”

“Professor Trewlawney had to substitute you!”

“She kept talking about moons and retrograde! I don’t even know what retrograde means!”

“What happened with the potion?!”

“Will you be able to pass Advanced Potions?!”

“Are you alright, professor?”

The last one was asked by Harry Potter himself, who had moved between the swarm to watch him with kind green eyes and Elías gave him a small smile.

“I’m alright, kids,” he told them all quietly, hand moving to squeeze Harry’s shoulder. “I’m just fine. Madame Pomfrey is an incredible mediwitch and she’s worked very well. Tonight we’ve normal class, as usual, and I’d really appreciate it if you all would do your best to be calm during class while I finish my recovery.”

The kids all seemed to agree to that and Elías, because he still craved some affection after that entire shitshow, opened his arms only for various First Years and Second Years to come rushing to hug him, making him laugh. He hadn’t expected many, but even a couple of Fourth and Third years went to hug him briefly.

With that done, Elías and Remus moved on to the table, where Pomona and Minerva fretted over him for a big, the two women chastising Elías for being out of bed already.

“I’m okay, I’m fine. It’s okay,” he reassured, sending them both kind smiles, then turning to Remus with a small laugh. “Did you see them?”

“I told you the kids were worried about you,” he told Elías, chuckling. “Theodore especially - and Harry and his friends also came by to see you.”

“I’ll talk to all of them, then,” Elías said softly, taking his goblet and filling it with water before giving Remus a smile. “Thank you for last night, by the way. I know I’ve already said it a billion times but… it really did calm me down and help me. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Remus replied, his hand moving to squeeze Elías’ shoulder gently. “You’re welcome to come over any time, Elías. I mean it. If it makes you feel safer, go ahead.”

Elías’ shoulders sagged, head rolling for a moment to rest against Remus’ shoulder, sighing, whispering, “I’m  _ so _ glad we’re friends again.”

“Me too,” Remus smiled, nudging him. “Now eat. You haven’t eaten in a while and you definitely should. Even just a few bites.”

“Alright, alright,” Elías sighed, getting to it.

Lunch was a bit hard to do, having basically no appetite, but Pomona and Remus kept him busy, updating him on the next game - Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw - and letting him know that Harry officially had his Firebolt back, which reminded Elías to speak to the kid, see if they all knew where the broom had come from. Once they were done, Elías decided to accompany Remus to his classroom, since he had a group of Third Year Slytherins and Gryffindors ready to go.

“I’m a bit lost,” Elías told Remus honestly, once they’d both walked into his classroom. “But when’s the next full moon?”

“Ah,” he hummed, starting to prepare the lesson. “Next week. I start taking Wolfsbane today, actually.”

“Right,” Elías murmured, thinking of Severus before a deep frown took over his face. “Are we still on for dinner tonight, though?”

“If you want to,” Remus nodded, watching him for a moment, his eyes running over Elías’ face. “What happened with Severus?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” Elías told Remus, sitting down on top of his desk as he drew on the blackboard about some dark creature. 

“You kind of have to, if you don’t want to keep it in,” Remus told Elías, giving him a little look. “I know - I know you two got close during January -”

“I  _ thought _ we did,” Elías countered, swallowing. “I  _ thought _ he respected me and started to think of me as a friend. I  _ thought  _ he wanted to help me and cared about me. Turns out I was wrong.” his hand ran through his hair, face crumbling a bit. “Gods, what did I expect? That a little bit of kindness and some good hearted jokes meant we were - past  _ everything _ ? I’m so stupid, I’m  _ so stupid  _ -”

“No, you’re not,” Remus stated, moving to Elías, rushing to stop his trail of thought. “He’s an  _ arse _ . He treats anyone who gets close to him like utter garbage because he feels like shite about his own life. So he takes it out on you, thinking you’ll stay because you’re a good person. He doesn’t deserve you even thinking of him.”

How ironic, the parallels of Remus and Severus shitting on each other via comfort to Elías. The issue wasn’t about how Severus was this or that, more like the fact that Elías hadn’t paced himself and realized that Severus wouldn’t change in so little time.

“I’m so angry at him,” Elías whispered, staring down at Remus’ hands reaching to hold his own. “I’m  _ so _ angry at him. And I know he won’t even apologize about it but… the way he said that word… there was so much behind it, Remus, I-I… I don’t think I could ever get used to it.”

“You shouldn’t,” Remus told him firmly, eyes hard. “It’s a slur. It’s an insult. You shouldn’t have to hear it, especially from anyone calling himself your friend.”

“I don’t know if he called himself my friend,” Elías whispered, swallowing. “Maybe I was just delusional.  _ Again _ . I feel like my perception of people and how they view me is so screwed, so twisted. I may have a God complex.”

“You’re flawed, Elías, but you don’t have a God complex,” Remus patted his hand, entwining their fingers. “You’re not delusional. You’re  _ not _ . He looked very smug to be your friend, said the word himself -”

“What?” Elías frowned.

Remus hesitated, “He may have… said some things to me. In private.”

Elías stared at Remus, eyes looking over his features, leaning back slightly. “You two talked in private. About me. Like - like last week? With the - in your office?”

“We didn’t - we were both in the staff room,” Remus quickly explained, trying to pull Elías back in but Elías stayed back. “He was sneering about something or other, teasing me about my… lycanthropy -”

“Wait,  _ what _ ?” Elías’ eyes widened, voice an angry warning.

“It’s fine!” Remus held his shoulders, reassuring him. “Elías, truly, it’s fine, it’s just - he does this a lot and I wasn’t giving him any leeway and then he decided to poke at me with… knowing about you? About your Sight before I did.”

“That  _ bitch _ -” Elías’ nostrils flared and he felt anger run through his veins dangerously.

“I’m  _ telling you this _ because - Elías,” Remus attempted to calm him down, stroking his shoulders, eyes soft. “I know this seems so stupid of me, since he hates me but… I am very tired of hating people. I’m very tired of being angry and upset at Severus. This man is lashing out because he’s known no other way of caring for anyone. He did it with Lily and he’s doing it with you. I’m telling you  _ right now _ that I bet he feels immense guilt over what happened.”

“It doesn’t make it right!” Elías replied, scandalized. “He’s been a  _ constant  _ dick! He’s bigoted and he’s  _ smug  _ about things that have  _ nothing  _ to do with him! If we hadn’t been fighting, he wouldn’t have swooped in to help me!”

“Probably not,” Remus admitted quietly. “But if he offers an apology -”

“He won’t -”

“But  _ if _ he does,” Remus insisted, eyes on his. “Just… hear him out. We might be able to make him see that he’s wrong.”

“He better make a damn good apology,” Elías bared his teeth a bit, watching Remus. “And not just to me, he has to apologize. But to you as well. If he doesn’t, I’m done with him.”

“We’ve more history toge -”

“Well, if he wants so bad to keep me as his friend, then he better fucking step up,” Elías replied, hand moving to cup Remus’ jaw, eyes serious. “He doesn’t get to make fun of you. I don’t care how normalized you have that - it’s  _ disgusting _ . If he wants to make fun of lycanthropy, if he wants to make fun of  _ you _ , he’ll have to answer to  _ me _ .”

Remus watched him, quiet, his cheeks flushing with the embarrassment of having Elías so passionate about defending him. Elías scratched over the base of his skull, his hair getting a bit too long. Elías’ hair was getting long, too, maybe he should cut it.

“Thank you,” Remus murmured. “You don’t have to -”

“I know. But I -”

“Want to,” Remus finished, smiling a bit. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Elías gave him a lopsided little grin, laughing a bit when Remus dropped his forehead on Elías’ shoulder. “Aww! Are you tired? Did I not let you sleep?”

“You don’t snore,” Remus replied against his collarbones. “But you do talk in your sleep - even sing sometimes.”

“Oh yeah,” Elías grinned. “My grandma does, too. Put us in a room together at night and we’ll have full conversations.”

“You’re joking,” Remus looked up at him and he and Elías both laughed. “It was nice, you know? To just… see you so relaxed after all this… shite happened.”

“It was nice to sleep somewhere safe,” Elías retorted, squeezing the back of his neck when the door of the classroom opened, making the two of them pull apart quickly, Remus standing ramrod straight and Elías fixing the imaginary wrinkles of his shirt.

“Uh… hi,” Harry waved, Ron and Neville next to him and Elías flushed as Harry gave a wide, wide grin, looking between the two of them. “Were we interrupting?”

“No, no!” Remus quickly said, clearing his throat. “Elías was just -”

“Leaving,” he nodded, falling back from the desk and standing, stretching a bit, turning to Remus. “Good luck with your class, see you later?”

“At dinner, yes,” Remus nodded, sending him one last smile before Elías was on his way, the students filtering in glancing in his direction and giggling among themselves. Just as Elías thought that they’d forget all about those rumors that Lavender and Parvati had spread...

* * *

Elías decided, around six in the afternoon, that he would like to check on Harry’s lessons, since he’d never been able to see the boy actually work on his patronus. He was sure Remus wouldn’t mind but, just in case the two of them did, he knocked on the door of Remus’ classroom, waiting patiently, a little box of chocolates from Brussels - courtesy of his ma - in his hands. A soft  _ come in _ was returned and Elías walked inside, finding Harry panting hard, wand in hand, looking exhausted.

“Harry,” he said softly, rushing to put a hand on Harry’s back. “Hey - hey, breathe. Patronus is super complex for someone in Third Year - here, have some chocolate.”

“Hello to you too, professor,” he laughed breathily, taking one of the sweets and popping it into his mouth, eyes going wide. “Oh  _ wow _ .”

“Hey, Elías,” Remus smiled at him. “Came to help?”

“Sure,” Elías helped Harry stand, patting his shoulder. “Came to check on you, Harry. Remus told me that you’ve had a lot of improvement.”

“Doesn’t feel much like it,” he confessed quietly.

“Well, next time you try, I’ll see if you’ve improved,” Elías told him, smiling gently, handing him another chocolate, which now Harry took with enthusiasm.

“What about you, professor? Are you alright?” Harry asked quietly, looking him over. “We went to see you - Ron, Hermione and I but… you were…”

“Yeah, it was - it was a bad experience there in the dungeons,” Elías laughed, trying to dismiss it. “It happens. I wasn’t ready for that potion. It’s okay, Harry, I promise,” his hand squeezed his shoulder, smiling gently. 

“I’m glad,” the teen whispered, giving him a smile back.

Elías moved to sit on Remus’ desk comfortably, his favorite spot in the DADA classroom and Remus, leaning against it, smiled at Elías with a bit of a wide-eyed look, eying the box he carried, making Elías laugh and pull them away.

“These are for Harry!” he accused, sending him a playful glare.

“There’s a lot of them! I could have just  _ one _ ,” Remus told Elías, reaching for the box but Elías laughed again, putting his knee against Remus’ chest. “Elías!”

“No! I came here for Harry!”

“Just one?”

“Mama sent these from Brussels -”

“Your ma  _ loves _ me,” Remus defended, finally reaching the box and plucking a few out, making Elías laugh a bit louder. 

“Okay,  _ maybe _ she mentioned you in the letter she sent -”

“See? Loves me.”

“Take  _ just  _ a few. Don’t eat the whole box,” Elías scolded, putting the chocolates between them, grinning way too hard, his cheeks sore from it. He had missed this with Remus.

When he looked back at Harry, he found the kid smiling as well, his eyes moving between Remus and Elías like a tennis match and Elías looked away, flushing a bit as Remus cleared his throat and stood, moving to the chest in front of Harry.

“Alright,” he told Harry, nodding. “Are you prepared for the next one?”

“Yes,” Harry nodded, taking a deep breath, wand at the ready. 

Elías leaned in, watching, waiting. He hadn’t used a patronus in such a long time but he wondered how Harry would handle and do it, rapt with attention.

“Three, two, one…”

Remus pulled open the chest and a shadow figure that Elías had seen way too often in these past months appeared, Harry steadying his feet before calling, “ _ Expecto Patronum! _ ”

A wispy shield of a patronus appeared, a patronus type I, easy to make for more experienced wizards but impossible to accomplish at thirteen years old. Elías’ eyes were wide, watching Harry, seeing him slowly, painfully wrestle the dementor boggart back into the chest, Remus grinning widely as he collapsed on the lip, closing it, effusive about congratulating Harry.

“That was incredible!” Elías gushed, walking over to the kid, hands on his shoulders. “Harry! Oh my Gods! I’ve never seen someone so young make a patronus!”

“Y-you haven’t?” he stuttered, sweat shining on his forehead. 

“No! Here - here, some water,” he rushed to Remus’ office, finding a goblet and returning after a quick  _ aquamenti _ . “Drink up, c’mon. There you go, kiddo,” he grinned, ruffling his hair. “My  _ Gods _ , I’m so proud of you. Remus -  _ Remus _ , did you  _ see  _ that?”

“I told you, he’s making a lot of progress,” the werewolf beamed at Elías and Harry.

“I can’t do much -” Harry began but Elías shook his head, cutting him off.

“You - you’re so  _ scared  _ of these dementors and you chose to face that fear straight forward! You’re able to conjure a type I patronus - Harry, it took me to  _ Seventh Year  _ to get mine,” he told the kid, making him blink with surprise. “I’m so  _ proud _ of you.”

Harry watched him for a moment, blinking rapidly, his eyes on Elías, then turning to Remus, who also nodded at Harry, his hand moving to gently ruffle his wild curls.

“Thank you,” he croaked, looking on the verge of tears and Elías felt his heart break a little, giving Harry a soft little smile.

“Do you want a hug?” he asked him quietly. “I won’t tell anyone, I pro -”

Harry threw himself at Elías, hugging him tightly, shoulders shaking and Elías embraced him back, rubbing between his shoulders, looking at Remus who seemed… very sad, watching Harry with pity. Elías just held the boy tighter as he heard him quietly cry, wanting to offer him words of comfort but not knowing what Harry needed, exactly. So he simply held him, offering a warm hug and Elías wondered when had been the last time that an adult had hugged Harry - Hagrid, perhaps? Back when he received the Ministry letter?

Elías let him cry it out for a bit, Remus moving closer and gently petting Harry’s hair, his hand gentle on the teenager. And for a moment, Elías felt Harry relax, wand dropping to the floor. Harry pulled back once he’d calmed down, hands rubbing at his eyes under his foggy glasses, Elías smiling kindly at him.

“That was a good cry, wasn’t it?” he smiled and Harry nodded, looking anywhere but at him. “I’ve had a couple of those,” Elías offered him. “Like -  _ quite  _ a lot of those. Remus could tell you all about them.”

Remus chuckled, nudging Elías, “A few.”

“Do you feel better?” Elías asked Harry, brushing some curls from his face, smiling gently at the boy. 

“Y-yes, I - I’m sorry, professor Fernández,” he whispered, looking ashamed.

“Don’t be, we all need a hug from time to time,” Elías replied, taking Harry’s wand and returning it to him, thinking for a moment before, “Harry, do you get a lot of hugs?”

“Me?” he blinked, cleaning his glasses on his shirt. “Uh… I suppose. Hermione gives a lot of them. Not right now, she’s quite angry because her cat is out of control and killed Ron’s rat but… she usually does.”

“No, I mean from - from your guardians,” Elías dared to step there, Remus’ sharp eyes moving to Elías before turning to Harry. “Your aunt and uncle, right?”

“The Dursleys,” he wrinkled his nose, putting his glasses on. “They’d  _ never _ hug me.”

Elías’ heart jumped in his throat. “Is that so?”

“They don’t like me,” he stated, shrugging. “They hate magic so they hate me. Really hated my parents, too.”

Elías’ hand, behind Remus and his own back, grabbed the other professor’s hand, slightly shaking. Remus immediately entwined their fingers, giving Elías strength, Elías feeling his chest cave in.

“Do they… say bad things to you?” Elías asked, trying to play for casual. Abuse was often normalized in children’s minds and maybe Harry wouldn’t realize that he was talking about something that his guardians truly didn’t want to know. “Mean things?”

“Well, yes,” he looked over at Elías and Remus. “They say very bad things about my parents. I… I got in trouble for it, in the summer. Aunt Marge was there and she was - she was calling my dad a lot of bad things and I - my magic - I… inflated her like a balloon. The Ministry got involved but they… let me go.”

“What - what about physical?” Elías asked softly, hand wanting to reach for Harry but stopping, feeling Remus’ thumb gently stroking the back of his hand, helping to keep Elías grounded on the Earth. “Did they ever… hit you?”

“Dudley does,” Harry said quietly, after a moment of silence. “Well, Uncle Vernon does as well, sometimes. Just - a few. I don’t -” he swallowed, running a hand through his unruly hair as Elías’ chest expanded and his heart  _ burned _ . “It’s not that big of a deal, it’s fine.”

“I think it’s a big deal,” Elías told him, firmly, making Harry’s eyes snap to his, wide and surprised. “I think it’s actually a  _ big _ deal, Harry.”

“You… do?” Harry frowned, turning to Remus, who also nodded.

“That’s child abuse, Harry,” he said quietly.

Harry recoiled, the word making him pull back and Elías quickly reached for Harry’s arm, gently grasping it.

“No, no, no!” he called quietly. “I know it’s a strong word, it’s  _ very _ strong but - were they neglectful, Harry?” Elías asked him gently, watching his eyes run all over Elías, as if judging whether he could tell him or not.

“H-how - what do you mean by neglect?” Harry stuttered.

“Do they deny you food? Water? Maybe a bed, clothes?” Elías asked him softly, watching him nod slowly, his own eyes burning but he couldn’t cry, he had to be  _ strong _ for Harry. “Do they ignore you? Or humiliate you? Call you names, lock you in your room for long periods of time? Do they - do they not let you talk to Ron and Hermione?”

Slowly, Harry nodded, fumbling with his wand, trying not to look at Elías.

“I live in the cupboard under the stairs,” Harry said quietly and Elías had  _ never  _ in his life felt more murderous than right then, wanting to do nothing more than to go fucking apeshit on these fucking people that were supposed to take care of Harry. “I hate them,” he confessed, as if it was the first time, and Elías really hoped it wasn’t. “I hate them, I - when I - when Hagrid told me I was a wizard, I… I thought it was an escape. I love Hogwarts, I love magic,” he expressed deeply, eyes shining, looking up at Elías. “Please don’t pull me away from Hogwarts.”

“No! No, no, no! Harry, no! I’d never!” Elías quickly reassured, hands on Harry’s face, brushing away his tears. “Oh, dear boy, I’d never even think of that! No, Harry, I - do you truly hate them? Do you want to get away from them?”

“Yes,” he nodded, eyes wide, looking almost desperate. “Yes,  _ please _ , I - could you do that?” Harry asked, looking on the verge of more tears. “Could you - could you help me?”

“Elías -” Remus warned.

“I can’t promise you anything, Harry. I’m afraid I can’t  _ promise _ you that I’ll get you out of the Dursleys,” the professor confessed, making Harry wince. “But I  _ swear  _ on my grandfather’s grave that I will do  _ anything _ to get you out of there.”

Remus seemed to relax a bit at his words and Elías squeezed Harry’s shoulder, looking at the kid firmly, already thinking of Elena, of the ease she had in court, of how she could help him if she didn’t think he was fucking insane for getting involved in a case that was probably bigger than him.

But if it all went well, Sirius and Harry would be living together by the end of the summer. Or maybe the beginning of it.

“You’d really do that?” Harry asked quietly. “I don’t want to live with the Dursleys.  _ Anything _ is better than them.”

“I’ll send an immediate letter to the Ministry of Magic’s CPS,” Elías told him. “And I really don’t care whom I’ve to fight in court with, Harry, I  _ will  _ take the Dursleys to court. But you’ll have to help me, tell me the things they’ve done. Do you have witnesses -”

“The Weasleys,” Harry quickly said, nodding. “They’ve seen it.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, patting the back of Harry’s head. “Alright. I’ll start writing the letter, then. Is there - is there anything you want to say, before I start the process?”

“I -” he swallowed, looking over at Remus before turning back to Elías. “They’ll get angry.”

“They probably will, yes,” Elías nodded but Remus stepped in, sitting closer, his hand moving to Harry’s shoulder as well, squeezing, voice gentle.

“We’ll protect you the best we can, Harry,” he said softly. “It’s going to be scary. And exhausting. This type of process… it’ll take time and you’ll have to talk to a lot of officials about what they’ve done to you. Are you ready for that?”

“If that gets me out of that house, yes,” he nodded, swallowing. “ _ Please _ .”

“Alright,” Elías concluded, nodding, his hand moving to grip Harry’s, squeezing gently. “It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, Harry, but I am going to stick with you. And I’m going to help you.”

“So will I.”

Elías turned, looking surprised at Remus, his eyes turning to Elías’ for a moment.

“I can’t… legally get involved,” he explained slowly and Elías understood - having the werewolf factor would put the situation into a precarious position. “But I will help you both the best I can, with emotional and physical support, if needed.”

“Thank you, professor Lupin,” Harry murmured, his hand shaky within Elías’. “I… don’t really expect much, to be honest. But I - I want to get out of that house. I hate it there.”

“Well, I’m going to fight for you,” Elías stated, very firmly. 

“Thank you,” Harry rubbed his eyes again, taking a deep breath before he looked at Elías and Remus, biting his lower lip. “Did… did you guys send me the Firebolt?”

Elías looked at Remus, the two adults sharing a look before they turned back to Harry, shaking their heads, making the teen seem confused and frustrated.

“I wish I had,” Remus gave him a small smile. “But I wasn’t. I’m sure it was someone rooting for you, Harry. Didn’t McGonagall give it back to you?”

“Yes, she said it was clear,” Harry responded, sighing. “Just wish I knew who it had been from.”

_ Sirius _ , Elías wanted to burst out, thinking of the tender look in the man’s face as he hugged Harry, obviously wanting to give this kid everything he could ever hand out - love, affection, encouragement, a broomstick and a real home.

“We’ll know another day, perhaps,” Remus said, standing, Harry and Elías following his lead. “Now, it’s almost dinner. Why don’t you go back to your friends, rest up? You’ve done a really good job today, Harry.”

“Thanks, sir,” he gave a genuine smile at Remus, then turned to Elías. “And thank you too, professor.”

“Anytime,” Elías replied, feeling exhaustion all over his body as Harry rubbed his eyes one last time and exited the classroom, the Spaniard whipping around to face Remus. “Dumbledore knew. I’m fucking  _ calling  _ it - he  _ knew _ !”

“I’m just -” Remus dropped on a chair, swallowing. “Lily’s  _ sister _ . Doesn’t she have any regard towards Lily? To her memory? Lily and her used to be so close…”

“I’m writing a letter to CPS right now,” Elías snapped, furious, pacing through the classroom. “Neglect and physical fucking  _ abuse _ . I’m gonna fucking  _ tear them a new one _ \- oh, and they’re muggles, which means I get the fucking upper hand since we’re taking this to magical court - and even if we  _ did  _ take this to muggle court, I’d still fucking win, because I’ve  _ Elena _ on my side,” he hissed, eyes sparking with unleashed fire. “They’re going to regret fucking  _ existing _ .”

“Calm down,” Remus told him, standing, stopping Elías’ pacing. “You’ve to be cool-headed and analytic, Elías. We can’t let this get out of hand - we need to win the case and get Harry to a better home, alright?”

“Right -  _ right _ ,” Elías nodded, sighing, his hands moving to Remus’ wrists. “Fuck.  _ Fuck _ , I wanted to cry so bad when he talked about living under the fucking  _ stairs _ . Who does that? Who the fuck does that to a  _ child _ ?”

“Monsters,” Remus whispered, kissing Elías’ forehead and hugging him tightly. “It’s going to be alright, Elías. We’ll work this out. If your sister has a way to get ahead in the game, you should write to her first, before CPS.”

“I agree,” Elías nodded, stepping back. “Do you - do you have some parchment here?”

“Yes, let me just -”

Elías and Remus moved to his desk and Elías quickly began to write the letter to Elena - in the past, they’d had their differences and he and Elena had had a lot of fights. But even back when they were incompatible and hated each other, he knew she’d always have his back, no matter what. So he wrote a comprehensive letter of the situation, including everything about Dumbledore, excluding his own experience at fifteen but also including the fact that a lot of teachers either did not know or were in on it with Dumbledore.

He also added that he did not want to remove Dumbledore from the school, as much as it pained him, due to complicated political issues that his sister would understand. 

Once that was done, Elías threw sand over the ink to help it dry and stood, Remus grabbing Elías’ bag before he could, throwing it over his shoulder.

“Owlery,” Remus spoke, opening the door of his classroom, the two of them walking out into the hallways of Hogwarts to head outside to the Owlery. Elías was tense, hand tight around the letter, thinking of Harry and how… normal that kid was, for everything that had happened to him. He was kind, giving, just wanted to be left alone, have a laugh with his friends, play Quidditch, like any other thirteen year old. 

It must have been such a shock to him, to come to Hogwarts, learn that he was special - so special, in fact, that everyone knew his name. How overwhelming, to a poor eleven year old boy. How traumatic, for him to have to face all these expectations.

Gods, Elías could relate.

“How are you feeling?” Elías asked Remus, quietly, as they entered the open hallway on the side of the castle, towards the back path that led directly to the home of the Hogwarts owls. “You’re so quiet. So calm. I don’t know how you do it.”

“I’m used to having to… curb my anger,” Remus explained, wincing. “Doesn’t help that it’s a week until the full moon, either. I keep - keep thinking about Lily and James, you know?” he whispered, emotion clogging his voice. “I keep thinking how they would’ve felt, knowing where Harry is now. I feel… absolutely useless and powerless. You took control of the situation, you calmed him down, and I wanted to speak but all I could do was  _ stare _ . I… don’t know how I’m going to help you.”

“But you are, already,” Elías said, turning around, facing Remus and reaching for his hands, squeezing them gently, making Remus look up with wet eyes. “Oh,  _ Remus  _ -”

He stepped into Remus’ space, hugging him tightly, reaching around his waist to pull him close. Remus immediately hugged back, bending over Elías’ short frame, his arms just as tight. For a small moment, the two stayed there, in the deserted hall, hugging each other, trying to keep each other in one piece. When they pulled back, it was only because Remus let go, sighing deeply, face dry but eyes a bit red.

“Thank you,” Remus breathed, smiling a bit down at Elías. “I think I needed that.”

“You can hug me anytime,” Elías reassured, his hand finding Remus’, squeezing, pulling him along. “Let’s send this letter and grab something from the kitchens, alright? We can sit in your rooms or mine, whichever, and talk about all the questions you have.”

“It’s really going to be a long night, yes?” Remus sighed deeply.

“You don’t have class at midnight, don’t complain,” Elías rolled his eyes a bit, feeling Remus adjust the way their hands were clasped so it was more comfortable. Elías smiled a bit to himself but Remus rolled his eyes, groaning.

“Forgot about that. We can’t talk all night, then,” Remus sighed.

“You’ve got  _ class  _ tomorrow, Remus!” Elías laughed, turning to the other professor. “Maybe on Friday we can talk all night.”

“Don’t you have a potion to finish?” Remus asked him, softly, and Elías’ face crisped with anger.

“I would rather fail Advanced Potions again than have to stare at Snape’s face for more than an hour. I am  _ not _ going to go to the dungeons tomorrow and I don’t think I will for a while. Not until Severus apologizes -  _ profusely _ .”

“You can wait sitting, then,” Remus sighed, the two stepping into the cold and Elías shivering immediately, Remus pulling him a bit closer to give off some of his warmth. “Do you think we can actually help him?”

“Who? Harry?”

“Yes.”

_ It’d be nice to do it again as a free man _ .

“Yes,” Elías’ nodded, firmly, his eyes clear with focus. “Once I set my eyes on something, Remus, I  _ don’t _ give up. I’m not giving up on Harry. I will get him out of that house.”


	21. Seaside

When Remus and Elías were moving back to the castle, letter sent to Elena, Elías let his head rest against Remus’ arm as they walked, exhausted already.

“There’s so much going on,” he sighed. “I feel like we’re only starting, though.”

“That’s because we probably are,” Remus replied, giving him a tired look. “I really wish I could just curl up with a book and relax but I get a feeling I won’t be able to read a single word.”

“Ugh, I feel the same,” Elías groaned. “I wish I could go home, just for tonight. Dip my toes in the sand, fall into the sea for a while, swim hard and get back home - you know, have a nice shower, make myself a bowl of chili, watch some TV and go to bed.”

“That does sound nice,” Remus sighed and despite everything they were both saying, their walking pace was slow, in no rush to get back to the castle. Elías didn’t mind, though - Remus’ hand was big, fingers long and warm around his. “Do you cook a lot?”

“Hmm?” Elías looked up at his curious eyes. “Oh yeah. Like - a  _ lot _ . I like baking more but - yes, absolutely. That’s why I love potions so much, I think? It’s very similar to baking.”

“You don’t get to cook here, hmm?” Remus smiled.

“No, and I hate it. I de-stress by baking and that is just taken away from me here,” Elías sighed. “I could - I mean, I could leave the castle? Use the floo network, it’s  _ still  _ open and Dumbledore let me know that I could use it anytime…”

He paused, blinking, and Remus looked down at him with just as much surprise. The two had the same idea, simultaneously, looking up at the angry clouds clogging the night sky before Elías suddenly broke into a run, pulling Remus after him, a huge grin splitting his face.

“Elías!” Remus laughed, barely able to keep up with his enthusiasm. “Hold on a minute!”

“I’m gonna show you the sea, come on!” he gushed, running into the castle, laughing, passing by some sparse students without care. He hadn’t realized - he could go see his home  _ anytime _ . And Remus could come see it, too! He didn’t have classes until midnight! “It’s probably even day there, still! Come on!”

“Hold on, hold on!” Remus was grinning as well, following Elías up the stairs, moving to the astronomy tower, the two of them hastily climbing. “Elías! We can’t leave!”

“Yes, we can! And we will! Just - just for a few hours!” he told Remus, opening the door of his bedroom before looking around for his muggle wallet, letting Remus and himself catch a breath. “It’ll be great! Come on, I’ll take you out to dinner at  _ El Bartolo _ !”

“I’m - I don’t - is it going to be hot there? I’ve never gone to Spain, I don’t speak the language, I’m not sure I -”

Elías walked over to Remus, cupping his face, making the werewolf freeze as Elías looked him in the eye, eyebrows raised. 

“Remus,” he spoke, firmly.

“Yes?” the other professor replied.

“Stop overthinking it,” Elías laughed, grinning at him. “Run away with me - just for a couple of hours, before I’ve to go to class. We’ll go to dinner at my favorite place, we’ll talk about all the serious stuff but it’ll be somewhere - somewhere not as pressing, not as depressing as Hogwarts right now, okay? You don’t need to speak Spanish, I’m  _ right here _ ,” he chuckled, stepping back, pushing his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans. “Yes, it’ll be hot, you can drop your coat and yes! It’ll be your first time in Spain! I hope you like it!” he grinned.

“Alright,” Remus breathed in, walking towards the chimney, pausing as Elías grabbed the bag of floo powder, passing it to him. “So… what’s the name of the street?”

“The house has a name, actually,” Elías smiled at him. “Just say  _ El Rompido _ .”

“Ah - what?” Remus asked sheepishly, giving him a shy smile. “Let me - let me say that a bit.”

“ _ El - Rompido _ ,” Elías pronounced slowly, letting Remus repeat it a few times before he nodded, taking some floo powder. “I’ll see you on the other side!  _ El Rompido! _ ”

He threw the powder on the chimney, appearing immediately on the south of Europe, the very tip, stumbling into his familiar living room and immediately feeling the change in temperature. Elías stood for a moment, chest filling with happiness at the smell of the sea, of his home, the sight of a clear night sky outside. He rushed to the back, opening the crystal sliding door and stepping down the stone stairs to his back garden, inhaling deeply.

Gods, he felt a thousand times better already.

The sound of another arrival made him turn, moving back inside the house, turning on the lights with a wave of his wand. Remus had stumbled as well but he didn’t fall, regaining his footing before blinking, startled, looking at Elías’ home.

“Wow,” he whispered, turning around, taking in everything. “You weren’t joking about the books, huh?”

“I really was not,” Elías laughed, taking off his own sweater to leave himself in the white button-up he wore, sighing happily as he rolled his sleeves up, looking into the fridge. Remus jumped at the sound, looking at the kitchen curiously, leaning against the kitchen island. “Hmm, we could do a quick grocery run. They’re open until ten.”

“How would we get there?” Remus frowned. “Is it close?”

“Not at all, it’s fifteen minutes on bike,” Elías hummed and Remus blinked again, startled. 

“Bike? As in… a bicycle?”

“Nope, a motorbike,” Elías replied, nodding to himself as he thought of something quick and nice to do. “Do you want me to make something for dinner or do you wanna go out to eat at a restaurant?”

“I’d rather eat here,” Remus confessed.

“Grocery run it is,” Elías nodded, closing the fridge and stretching, sighing happily, moving to the door leading to the garage. 

“We’re going on that - that bike,” Remus stated slowly and Elías hummed, nodding, “How uh, how long have you had it?”

“Since I was sixteen, why?” Elías asked, turning on the garage lights, passing by his shitty, second-hand car and sliding to his bike, a much better thing, something he’d saved up for four years the moment his father told him that he could ride it as long as he paid for it. “Are you scared?” Elías laughed, clicking a button to open the garage door, making Remus jump at the noise. “It’s safe, Remus, I promise.”

“I’m not so sure about that…” the wizard mumbled, watching Elías climb on, grabbing two helmets from the side.

Elías patted the side of his bike, grinning, reaching for his leather gloves and pulling them on, getting the bike ready for a ride after a couple of months of not using it. He expected Remus to climb in but when he looked, Remus was looking at him strangely. 

“What?” Elías asked, then added softly. “Would you like me to go alone? I’ll come back real quick, you can sit here and relax, you know.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I just -” Remus seemed to hesitate before laughing, hand running through his hair, approaching Elías. “Sirius had a bike.”

“Oh,” Elías blinked, surprised, feeling a little bit of guilt inside him, for some reason. “Bet it wasn’t as  _ nice _ as mine, though,” he tried to make light of the situation, offering Remus a helmet, which he took before moving behind Elías, showing that he’d already been on a motorcycle before. Probably, obviously, Sirius’.

“If this all goes well and you’re right,” Remus spoke as Elías turned on the ignition. “Pray he never hears that you say that.”

Elías laughed loudly, throwing down the visor of his helmet before taking off, magically closing the door of the garage, taking Remus out into the deserted highway -

And into the seaside.

Elías watched the driveway, completely focused on it, but Remus’ arms moved around his waist and pressed close, his head turned to the side - watching the ocean beside them, very probably. Even with the helmet on, it was impossible not to smell it, the ocean, hear the crash of sea waves against the shore and the rocks leading to the T.E.A.R.. Elías followed the driveway, knowing the path like the back of his hand, letting Remus enjoy the view of the clear February sky and the moon silver against the glittering horizon that was the Atlantic Ocean. 

It was fifteen minutes to his usual grocery store and Elías saw with glee the lights still lingering after Christmas - only some of them. Not the big ones, but the small, wrapped around lamp posts and such. There were a few cars on the driveway but he saw plenty of teenagers on the streets, wearing light coats and sneaking into the park  _ El Barrendero _ to probably smoke without being caught. 

Remus seemed to be taking in everything, Elías seeing from the mirror his head moving from side to side, watching San Fernando and its waves of white houses, the streets and the music, the couple of  _ gitanos _ on the outside of a restaurant playing guitar, singing and dancing. Elías was suddenly overcome with much love for his homeland, able to show Remus how important this way to him.

He paused in Calle Real, using his leg to support the bike before the two got off it, Elías taking off his helmet to see Remus reveal a huge grin on his, panting a bit, looking around with bright eyes. 

“This is  _ so _ different,” he laughed, hand around the back of his neck, listening to a foreign language that he’d barely heard Elías speak. “This is - your home.”

“My home. Born and raised here,” Elías nodded, grinning, proudly tilting his chin up before the two made their way inside the store. “So I’m probably gonna make chili, unless you’ve got another idea?”

“Is it going to be spicy?”

“Not really,” Elías shook his head. “Spicy makes my stomach revolt the next day, unfortunately. Sometimes I’ll just go for it, honestly, damn the consequences, but not tonight when I’ve a class to teach at midnight.”

“Understandable,” Remus chuckled, following Elías inside, curiously looking around. This store was a chain, so it wasn’t very different from any of the other derivatives in England. The difference laid in the way the store owner greeted Elías, though.

“Elías!” he called, a very short, balding man with a thick moustache walking around the display to go hug Elías, kissing his cheeks. “ _ ¿Desde cuándo estás de vuelta, hijo? ¡Mira que se lo dije a Emilia, a ver si venias! Pero tu madre me contó que estabas en Inglaterra. ¡Como profesor! ¡Cuando todos pensábamos que ibas a ser músico! _ ”

“ _ Nah, estoy dando clases ahora, Paco, _ ” Elías grinned at the man and Remus blinked a bit, looking between them both.

“ _ ¿Y quién es éste? _ ” the man turned to Remus, making him freeze a bit, not understanding, but Elías wrapped his arm around Remus’ arm, pulling him a bit closer. “¿ _ Un novio? _ ”

“ _ Un compañero de trabajo y un buen amigo. Tenía que pasar por aquí cerca y de paso le enseño La Isla, _ ” Elías explained, grinning. “ _ Solo voy a comprar un par de cosas para la cena, nos iremos por la mañana. _ ”

“ _ Dile a tu madre que me llame la próxima vez que vengas, niño _ ,” the man slapped him over the head and Elías tried to avoid it, laughing as the store man jokingly chased him. 

“ _ Buenas noches, Paco _ ,” was all Elías said, smiling hard, taking a basket to grab everything he’d need.

“It’s so strange to hear you speaking Spanish,” Remus confessed to Elías, making the man turn to him, surprised. “I - you’ve got a  _ very _ American accent. So when you switch to Spanish with a  _ perfect _ Spanish accent, it’s just… so jarring.”

“Do you not like Spanish?” Elías asked, genuinely curious. “No hard feelings if you don’t, Remus, I find French to be disgusting.”

Remus laughed at the comment but he gave a small smile, taking the basket from Elías’ hand, opting to be the mule in their little grocery run. “Not at all,” he said softly. “I really like it, in fact. I think - I never really heard it much? Growing up? But you… hearing you speak it makes it - it’s a beautiful language.”

Elías grinned, wide and happy. “Thank you!”

He pulled into the basket everything he’d need, along with some red wine, pretty sure that they’d both need it as well for some courage. Once the two were out of the store, everything paid for and ready to be taken back, Elías began to hear the familiar flute from the  _ palomero _ , a few blocks down Calle Real. Remus looked up, at the end of the street and he smiled a bit, turning to Elías.

“Is music everywhere a Spanish thing, then?” he asked.

“No,” he grinned, “It’s a  _ southern _ thing. Come on, hop up. Let’s get back home.”

The ride back to  _ El Rompido _ was nicer, the roads a bit more deserted, most of the ride on the highway to _ Camposoto _ , of course, and Elías allowed himself to enjoy the breeze, the speed, Remus’ arms tight around his waist, the comfort of being back home without Sights or Dumbledores or classes to worry about. At least for a few hours.

Elías and Remus went back inside Elías’ little blue home, Remus standing outside to look at the front, stunned at the strange architecture. Elías just smiled, stepping out to the front walk, the garage door closing behind him.

“You like my home?” he asked, grinning.

“It’s  _ really _ beautiful,” Remus murmured. “I’ve never seen a house painted like this.”

“It was my grandma’s,” he explained, opening the front door, Remus admiring the metalwork there before closing it, making sure it was locked. “She lives now in Madrid and whenever she comes down, she doesn’t really stay here? She stays with my tia Paloma,” he explained. “Because their house is right by the beach at Cádiz, and mamún likes that one better than  _ Camposoto _ . So she gave me this one, since I’m the only one of the cousins who lives here. If they come down to San Fernando, they usually either stay here or at Paloma’s and Paco’s.”

“Wasn’t Paco the man from the grocery story?” Remus asked, watching Elías move to the kitchen and start pulling out ingredients from the bag and spices from the rack. 

“That’s another Paco,” Elías laughed. “This Paco is tío Paco.”

“Ah,” Remus supplied, sitting down on one of the stools, watching him with a bit of a curious look. “Do you need help?”

“Not really,” Elías smiled brightly at Remus. “I’m happy to cook on my own. I missed it very much and my chili  _ is _ to die for. So just sit back - do you mind if I play some music?”

“No, go for it,” Remus replied, taking off his sweater and unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt, watching Elías wave his hand quick and start that music thing he did. Surprisingly, unlike the other times Elías had played music for him, Remus knew this song.

Elías found him quiet as he played the song, humming along to it, busy with cooking but when he looked back at Remus, he was watching the back doors, the night sky, mouthing along to the lyrics.

“You know this song?” Elías smiled at him, making Remus blink, turning to Elías, as if he hadn’t heard him. “Do you know this song?” Elías repeated.

“Ah, yes,” Remus nodded, giving him a little sad smile. Elías knew that expression by now, nodding, smiling softly as well. “I’m sorry, I keep talking about him -”

“Apparently, Sirius and I would really get along,” he joked, chuckling when Remus gave a bit of a laugh. “Same music, we both own a bike, I remind you of him…”

“He’s way too Gryffindor,” Remus told him, grinning. “I think - I think you two would get along but also go at each other’s throats all the time.”

“I’d kick his ass,” Elías laughed, putting the rise into the bubbling water.

Silence. The song continued to play.  _ And I think it's gonna be a long long time till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home - Oh no no no I'm a rocket man. Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone. _

“You said he’s innocent,” Remus spoke up after quite a lot of time in silence, song after song playing, Remus seemingly knowing them all. Elías was simply playing his favorite songs from before the 1980s, that was all. But Remus knew them all. Sirius had known them all. Probably still did.

“Yeah, I did. And I do,” Elías said softly, watching Remus as he waited for the meat to cook in the sauce, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve had multiple visions of Sirius Black for three years. I didn’t know who he was until half a year ago, when I told Dumbledore. He quickly explained the situation to me. And I thought that it was… so strange.”

“What exactly?” Remus asked, seemingly trying to take in Elías’ strange gift.

“I didn’t just see the past,” Elías winced a bit. “I saw the future - and a  _ lot _ . I see him in a narrow house, hugging Harry tightly? Harry looks so happy to see him, says  _ Sirius!  _ in such an excited voice…” he sighed again, wooden spoon in hand, tossing the chili on the saucepan. “I’ve seen him looking out a window, I’ve seen him  _ here _ , at sea? With - with Harry. I’ve seen him outside, walking freely on the streets, next to Arthur Weasley. I’ve… especially seen him… standing in front of Hogwarts with Harry beside him. And he’s wearing rags and whispering how he’d love to walk as a free man among those walls.”

Elías rubbed his eyes, sniffling a bit.

“I can feel it, Remus. What others feel, in my Sights. There’s so much… hope in that scene I keep seeing. Sirius asks Harry to live with him and Harry doesn’t  _ hesitate _ when he says yes. Harry loves him.  _ Will _ love him. And so will Sirius - I think Sirius sent him the broom, Remus.”

“I think so, as well,” Remus whispered, watching Elías serve them both a tall glass of wine, passing the glass across the island to Remus, who drank half of it in one go, wincing. “I didn’t -” he paused, sighing, looking lost. “If Sirius didn’t betray James and Lily… who did? Who was the secret-keeper? Who told Voldemort?”

“I don’t know,” Elías said quietly, groaning, pulling out two big bowls and starting to fill them with the rice he’d made, his eyes sad. “If only I knew… maybe then we could do something about it. But even if I did know who it was due to my Sight, we’d need  _ proof _ .”

He poured the chili over the two bowls, handing one to Remus along with a spoon and gesturing for him to follow. Remus stood, a bit confused about where they were eating, if not the kitchen, but Elías pulled open the front door and began to walk towards the beach, bottle of wine in his other hand. Remus, a bit startled, followed across the highway and into the rocky path, noticing how the rocks were embedded with sea shells.

Elías kept talking, taking off his shoes on the boardwalk and just walking barefoot. 

“I’m pretty sure he’s hiding in Hogsmeade, maybe in the Forbidden Forest, if he’s got the guts - pretty sure he does. We could find him on a rainy day? If he knows about the Shrieking Shack, he wouldn’t be afraid to hide there.”

“Maybe,” Remus supplied, eyes wide as the two approached the ocean, realizing soon that his shoes were an impediment in the sand. He gently took them off, placing them beside Elías’ on the boardwalk before catching up to him. “He… probably isn’t the same after so many years in Azkaban, though,” he pointed out and Elías looked back at him to see his pained look. “I wonder what’s left of him…”

“A lot,” Elías said firmly, finally choosing a place to sit, putting the bottle of wine on the sand and sitting down, toes digging in, almost moaning softly at the feeling. “Ah, nice and cool,” he grinned a bit to himself, taking the first bite of his chili and rice.

Remus took his lead and did the same, frowning a bit as he adjusted to the strange feeling of sand all over his feet. He looked at his own toes, wiggled them, making Elías laugh a bit, the werewolf looking confused and then… a bit delighted. 

The waves slid to the shore, right in front of them - perhaps too close but Elías didn’t mind getting wet. And Remus didn’t have a class to teach later.

“It’s very nice,” Remus admitted, watching the ocean at night, the sound of the waves, the loud crack of water against the rocks further to their right. “It’s… it’s  _ very _ nice,” he added, looking at Elías, who simply watched the water as well. “You were right.”

“Feels almost healing, doesn’t it?” Elías whispered, smiling against his own wrist, the comfort of being back home and the utter happiness of being able to share this feeling with Remus… “Do you like it, then?” he asked, turning to the other man.

Remus took a spoonful of dinner, eyes widening at the taste before chewing happily, turning to beam closed-lipped at Elías. The Spaniard laughed loudly, shaking his head, watching Remus swallow before Remus took a deep sip of the wine bottle, sticking it back into the sand.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relaxed in my life,” he declared, eyes closing, the breeze brushing through his hair. “It’s… impossible not to.”

“Yeah,” Elías breathed, eyes closed, sighing deeply. “I know we’ve to talk more about this but I’m so glad we’re doing it here. Honestly, I needed this.”

“I think I did as well,” Remus murmured, his long legs going straight as he changed his seating position, letting his feet soak in the next wave. “Ah! So cold!” he laughed, pulling his legs back.

“It’s night, Remus,” Elías laughed, doing the same but enjoying the coolness on his toes. Compared to England, this was nothing and Elías thoroughly enjoyed it, sighing. “You know, I’ve been seeing more and more Sights of the past than of the future lately. Almost all of them involve you, James, Sirius or Peter. It’s - it’s unfair. I shouldn’t be able to see these things if you guys haven’t told me about them. Feels like a breach of privacy.”

“It’s not like you can help it,” Remus supplied, taking another big bite and swallowing before he asked, “What else have you seen? What have you seen that makes you think Sirius is innocent?”

“I saw when he was detained,” Elías murmured. “Standing amidst the bodies of muggles, he was trying to save one of them and - and when she died, he just stood there. Frozen. Then began to laugh and -” Elías winced. “It was trauma, Remus. He didn’t kill those muggles. He didn’t kill Peter. Someone  _ set him up _ .”

“I’d like to think he didn’t kill Peter, Lily and James,” Remus whispered, shoulders hunched. “Peter… he was in awe of Sirius. He admired him and I think - I think he was a bit jealous. But Sirius always defended Peter, taught him how to play Quidditch better, got him dates and always included him. Sirius was the one who got Peter into our group of friends.”

“Was he?” Elías asked, glad to not know something, smiling a bit.

“Yes,” Remus smiled a bit. “Peter was getting picked on by some Third Year Ravenclaw and Sirius walked over and just -” he laughed. “Just punched the bloke. It didn’t matter that he was three times his size, this absolute knobhead just obliterated him out of surprise. He and Peter got detention but apparently they became friends because of it.”

“Sounds like a nice story,” Elías laughed, a bit sad that he’d never get to meet Peter.

“He was a bit - scared. Of everything, really,” Remus murmured. “But so was I. Peter had the best sense of humor, he could crack jokes so easily with us. He wasn’t much of a social butterfly, you know, not the way James and Sirius were. Those two were always the showstoppers. But Peter knew how to plan things, how to make their stupid pranks work. Whenever he planned them, they’d never get caught.”

“Bit of the glue of the group, hmm?” Elías asked, smiling.

“Yes,” Remus finished his bowl of chili, putting it aside, next to the wine, arms moving around his knees and eyes on the next breaking wave. “Yes, he was. I miss him.”

Elías moved a bit closer, putting his almost finished dinner aside, hand moving to Remus, squeezing. Remus sniffled a bit, rubbing his eyes, sighing deeply. 

“Whatever it was, whomever it was, it was someone we knew, Elías,” Remus whispered, eyes on the water, slowly turning shinier. “Whomever told him… it was one of us. At the Order. And very probably were the mole that also tipped them to Alice and Frank’s location. The same mole that drove Fabian and Gideon into a trap. I want to know who it was and - and it makes me feel so much better that Sirius isn’t it but… what if the mole is someone we truly don’t expect?”

“I’m sorry, Remus,” Elías murmured, head resting against his shoulder. “I… I don’t know what to say, what to do but - but what I  _ can  _ do is support you. And promise to help you find out who betrayed you in the past.”

“Thank you,” Remus turned to look at him, but due to the angle he was only able to press his cheek to Elías’ forehead, the two men closing their eyes. “I hope Sirius is alright,” he said so quietly, Elías was sure he wouldn’t have heard it unless he was sitting so close. “I - I never told him that I forgave him. For what he did in Fifth Year. I never…”

“Remus -”

“I don’t want him to get caught, to die, to rot in prison thinking that I still  _ hate _ him,” Remus said desperately, his breathing labored and Elías moved a bit, kneeling in front of him, his hands moving to cup Remus’ cheeks.

“He’s  _ not _ , Remus. We’ll find him. We’ll prove his innocence and -” he looked at Remus, cursing. “Fuck it! Even if we’re unable to prove it, we’ll just help him run! And hide! This town has no British eyes in them, he’ll be safe here!”

“Elías -” Remus’ eyes widened. “It’s your home -”

“Yes, it is, and it can be put to good use,” he stated firmly, features crisping. “I am  _ not _ letting an innocent man be taken to Azkaban. And I am  _ not _ letting Sirius be trapped again. I’m giving you your best friend back and I’m giving Harry his family back. Period. There’s no  _ if _ ’s. I am not taking a no for an answer, Dumbledore himself can try and stop me.”

“You’re insane,” Remus laughed wetly, a few tears running down his cheeks, which Elías caught with his thumbs easily. “You’re absolutely  _ insane _ , Elías. Sirius and Harry have nothing to do with you -”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Elías told him, frowning, shaking his head, making sure Remus was watching him still. “This  _ does  _ concern me! I care about Harry, Remus! And about you and Sirius, and whatever happens to you all! I even - I even care about  _ fucking _ Severus of all people, and I’m not going to let you all just - just rot and be taken by whatever fate awaits! If I can help, I will! And whatever happens, I’ll be here by your side, helping you! I’m not going  _ anywhere _ just because things get complicated! We’ll find answers. We’ll work together.”

Remus visibly swallowed, his hand moving to grip Elías’, looking emotional, eyes running all over his face. “Elías -”

“You’re not going to do this alone,” Elías stated, watching Remus’ eyes. “I’m right here.”

Remus let out a sob, hand tightening on his wrist and for a second, for just a fraction of a moment, Elías thought he was leaning in, Remus’ eyes closing, his nose brushing Elías’ -

A magical alarm rang, making them both jump apart, Elías gripping his wand to the side and checking the time with a quick  _ tempus _ . 11.30pm.

“Ah, shit,” he groaned, pouting a bit. “Time passed by so fucking fast, that’s not fair.”

“Y-yes, that was - quick,” Remus cleared his throat, looking at the bowls and picking them up, standing, trying to get rid of the sand by patting his pants.

“Oh, no, honey, that’s gonna be there  _ forever _ ,” Elías laughed, standing, taking the bottle of wine and having a hearty sip. “Gods, and I’ve Fourth Years now. I’ve to look at teenagers after everything that happened - wish I could get  _ drunk  _ with you on the beach and wake up in the sand tomorrow, cursing past me.”

“And probably covered in sand and regrets,” Remus added, the two walking along the sand back to the house, his smile much more tranquil, his posture one of relaxation. He looked better. 

“Well, our runaway plan lasted for a few hours, at least,” Elías sighed, stepping into the boardwalk and just grabbing his shoes, knowing his feet would need a wash. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Running away with you to the ocean for dinner? Yes. Thoroughly,” Remus laughed, taking his shoes as well, walking beside Elías. “I was scared at first, I must admit, but… the experience was incredible. And dinner was - amazing. You’re a brilliant cook.”

“Aw, thank you,” Elías grinned, feet touching rough stone, such a familiar texture. “Honestly, just - coming here and sharing it with you? It was a lot of fun. This is my hometown, my life, a lot of what I really, really love. And I’m glad you could appreciate it.”

“We should run away more often,” Remus suggested, crossing the highway barefoot for the first time in his life, careful not to step on anything that might hurt his feet but Elías just padded over to the front door, walking in, feeling happiness bubble inside him.

“I agree,” he told Remus. “Especially when we’ve such heavy things to talk about. I feel like this just lightens the experience.”

“Mhmm,” Remus nodded, watching Elías just carelessly walk inside with his feet full of sand, deciding to be a bit careful and try and brush some of his own outside the house. 

“It’s fine, Remus,” Elías laughed from the kitchen, putting the wine on the fridge. “I’ll clean it up later! It’s just sand! Sand is everywhere here.”

“I can already tell,” Remus laughed, hearing music starting to play thanks to Elías, moving to help clean the bowls, spoons and wine glasses standing on the kitchen island. “Let me help.”

“You don’t have to -”

“I know,” Remus smiled, grabbing the soap and sponge. “But you cooked. It’s only fair.”

“Then I’ll drink the rest of my glass,” Elías laughed, sitting down on one of the stools, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the counter of the island, smiling, the music soft and instrumental. “I heard this one this morning. It’s really nice, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Remus murmured before he blinked. “Wait, heard it where? You don’t have a radio at Hogwarts, they don’t work there.”

“Oh, right,” Elías blinked before he laughed. “I don’t just - see important or merely relevant events, Remus. I see other things. A lot of the music I’ve played for you is from the future - which, let me tell you, is  _ so annoying  _ because I want to find out who the artist is. Most of the time I don’t find it because it doesn’t exist yet!”

“You’re joking,” Remus laughed, watching Elías as he dried the bowl. “You’ve been playing  _ music from the future _ ? Is this one from the future?”

“Yes!” Elías laughed, grinning. “It’s one of the reasons I developed musical magic, you know? I wanted to play those songs again and again.”

“That’s insane,” Remus said, shaking his head a bit, finishing cleaning the dishes before looking at Elías, eyebrows raising. “You’ve class.”

“I haven’t finished my wine,” he stated, smirking as he slowly took a sip.

“The sooner you start the class, the earlier you can dismiss it,” Remus laughed, walking over to his side and taking the glass of wine, dumping what was left on the sink, making Elías gasp in outrage.

“How dare you!” he laughed.

“It’s almost midnight. Come on,” Remus urged him, leaving the glass on the island and turning to Elías, a small smile on his lips but Elías sighed, watching Remus with a little pout.

“I don’t want to leave,” he confessed quietly, his hand brushing through his own hair. “I want to stay here.”

Remus said nothing for a moment, the both of them staring at each other before Remus leaned in, kissing his forehead, making Elías close his eyes and sigh deeply.

“Me too,” Remus said in the quiet privacy of this little bubble of happiness and safety. 

It took a moment for them both to finally stand and move to the chimney, returning to Hogwarts, stepping into Elías’ quarters before realizing that Elías had left his shoes, laughing wildly into his hand, Remus rolling his eyes, hearing students climbing the tower outside of the door.

“Go get them back -”

“There’s no time!” Elías laughed, opening the door, almost bumping into a few Slytherins, the two professors laughing when everyone stared at Elías’ sandy feet. “Everyone to class!” he laughed louder, a giggling attack leaving him leaning against the wall, Remus laughing just as hard as he walked down the stairs. 

“Goodnight, Elías,” he bid, saying hi to a few students on his way back to his rooms.

“Night,” the Astronomy professor waved, climbing up with his bare feet, uncaring of the looks the students gave him at the sand on his clothes, the sea breeze still sticking to his clothes or the grin plastered all over his face. 


	22. The Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting so long for you guys to see this chapter. I can't wait for the comments about it lmao

“I’m glad to see you’re alright, Elías,” Pomona told him after breakfast on Friday morning, the two walking out of the Great Hall together. “Everyone’s been so worried about you, laddie! You should take better care of yourself.”

“It was a little mishap with a potion, is all,” he reassured, feeling a bit bad for lying to Pomona of all people, such a ray of sunshine, was that woman. “If you’d like, this Saturday we could have some tea in the greenhouses? We could also invite Minerva and talk about the little gossip I’ve missed,” he chuckled as her eyes sparkled.

“That’d certainly be nice, dearie,” she beamed at him. “Oh, and also! Do check on Severus, dear, he’s been asking non-stop for you and I haven’t seen him in the Great Hall since the accident happened! I think he might be feeling a bit guilty.”

“Oh, is he?” Elías asked, unimpressed, not willing to go down to the dungeons and  _ check _ on Severus in a million fucking years.

“That’s not the face of someone who’s worried about him,” Pomona pointed out and Elías rolled his eyes a bit as he began to explain.

“Before the potion exploded on my face, he very seriously offended me - insulted me, in fact, so I do not care for the guilt he may feel - it  _ is _ his fault and he should ruminate on those feelings before  _ he _ should come to apologize,” he sniffled, miffed, eyes hard. “On his knees, preferably.”

“You scare me sometimes, laddie,” Pomona laughed, patting Elías’ back. “I understand, though, that it was Severus who made that mistake. I’m sure he’ll apologize soon enough.”

“He  _ better _ ,” Elías narrowed his eyes before dropping the expression to look at Pomona. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just quite angry with him. I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“Nonsense,” she waved her hand. “I’ll see you on tonight’s patrol?”

“Certainly,” he nodded, smiling at her before Pomona left for the greenhouses.

Elías sighed a bit, watching her walk away and he wondered what in the world to do with his morning. He’d received a letter from Elena telling him that she’d move strings, to wait until she had some letters back before he sent an invoice to CPS in the Ministry of Magic. So all he had to do was wait, he supposed, with no classes until right after lunch. So what was he to do?

He’d go and bother Remus, of course.

He had no class at this hour, Elías found when he approached the room, poking his head in to find Remus writing something on his desk.

“Heyo!” he greeted, moving to sit on one of the student’s desks, Remus not looking up but acknowledging him with a hum. “Busy with corrections?”

“Thoroughly so,” he replied, giving out a little smirk as he looked up at Elías. “So no adventures this morning, I’m afraid.”

“What if I helped you with those?” Elías offered. “And we could take a walk around, outside? The day is clear! It’s not - y’know, super warm,” he laughed. “But it’s clear! We’ve to take advantage of that.”

“These are Second Year essays…” Remus slowly looked at them, biting his lower lip, looking up at Elías. “How much do you know about Selkies?”

“You kidding?” Elías grinned. “Any water creature is my specialty - lemme sit, come on.”

He grabbed a chair, taking Remus’ extra quill, pulling a small stack of essays towards him before starting to read them, humming a bit to himself. Remus went back to correcting as well, the two spending some tranquil time in the classroom. 

“You know, it’s fascinating that we can actually observe selkies in this lake,” Elías told him, making Remus hum, reaching for his surely cold cup of tea and sipping it. “When I was twelve, I wanted to be a selkie so bad. I’d seen so many through the window of the Common Room, I was just  _ ready _ to find out how they lived.”

“These selkies have a tight relationship with the school,” Remus told Elías, smiling a bit. “Maybe one day you could ask Dumbledore for a little conduct to get into their home and see their architecture.”

“That’d be  _ fascinating _ ,” Elías breathed, grinning at him. “What’s your favorite creature?”

“My what?” Remus blinked, laughing.

“Your favorite creature! Come on, everyone as a kid has one - vampire or selkie or the fae - we all have a creature that we thought was pretty cool.”

“Well,” Remus raised his eyebrows at him, finishing his tea. “I was too busy being one, Elías, so I can’t really say for sure what kind of monster I liked.”

Elías winced a bit, but punched Remus’ shoulder lightly, “Don’t stupid, you weren’t a monster and are  _ not  _ a monster.”

“I beg to differ,” he sighed, the door of his classroom opening.

Elías looked over and froze when he saw Severus, the professor also freezing the moment he noticed Elías. In his hand, the goblet of wolfsbane bubbled and smoked, making Elías narrow his eyes. Still carrying it around publicly, of course, he couldn’t  _ waste _ a simple illusion charm to hide it.

“Lupin,” Severus finally spoke, walking forward again, leaving the goblet in front of Remus, who sighed at the sight of that ungodly potion and its taste. Elías was already searching his pockets for any treat that might wash out the taste. “Don’t forget to take it immediately.”

“I know,” said Remus, nodding at him. “Thank you, Severus.”

Snape said nothing, eyes moving to Elías but Elías was very pointedly not looking at him, busy with Remus’ essays that he had to correct, much more interesting than the man standing still, waiting for him to acknowledge his presence. But Elías wouldn’t. And when that was made clear, Severus cleared his throat and walked out of the classroom, closing the door behind him.

“The Lion, the Witch and the  _ audacity _ of this bitch,” Elías fumed, staring at the door, absolutely furious. “Did you see him just -  _ standing there _ ? Waiting for me to say something?”

“I think he was gathering the courage to speak,” Remus supplied, drinking his potion but Elías scoffed. “Elías, I agree that what he did was disgusting, but -”

“You’re too lenient with his attitude,” Elías told him, frowning.

“And you’re lenient as well, Elías, you befriended him in the first place,” Remus replied.

“But I thought he’d changed! Matured from calling people fucking slurs just to get a rise out of them! Gods! Is this how Lily fucking felt?!”

“Probably,” Remus sighed, watching Elías. “I’m… not muggleborn, so I wouldn’t know.”

“Cheers to belonging to multiple minorities but all of them different,” Elías mumbled, crossing out a completely wrong section in one of the essays. 

“Well, we do interlap in one, I suppose,” Remus hummed. “You’re into men.”

“Oh right, yeah,” Elías laughed. “Forgot that’s a thing at all. Wizards are much more chill about that than muggles.”

“Are we?” Remus looked over at him, frowning. “Because I don’t really think we’re uh,  _ chill  _ about it,” he told Elías.

“Much more than muggles, I assure you,” he mumbled, rubbing his cheek. “Did you have… any problems? Growing up gay?”

“Well, when James, Peter and Sirius began to talk about girls, I just did what we all do,” he told Elías, eyebrows raising. “I panicked and dated the first girl whom I was friends with, back in Second Year.”

“Who was it?” Elías asked curiously.

“Lily,” he laughed, shaking his head, making Elías drop his jaw.

“No,” Elías giggled into his hands. “No, Remus,  _ noooo _ -”

“Look, she was asking herself if she was a lesbian because recently she’d been looking at girls, too,” he explained, shaking his head. “Merlin, and she - we were talking about it, how both of us might be gay and we decided that the best course of action, of  _ course _ , was to date each other and see what happened.”

“Did you kiss?” Elías laughed.

“Oh no, we never managed,” Remus chuckled, a grin on his face. “We were about to when she just pushed her hand on my face and told me she couldn’t do it. I definitely knew I was gay. Lily took a year or so until she realized she was bi? Still into men but - well, you get it. We figure out everything at our own pace.”

“For sure,” Elías grinned, so amused. “How did James react?”

“Oh, he was  _ moping _ ,” Remus put his quill down and hid his smile against his hand. “Absolutely destroyed. Peter was mad at me and took it as an offense to our friendship but I pointed out that it was what Lily wanted - it only made James more miserable. When we broke up, James was ready to break my face in, though.”

“Did you tell them?” Elías asked him curiously.

“Oh yes,” he nodded. “I was the only Gryffindor out at that time. Lily kept her thing to herself and we got close because of it. James thought I had a crush on her until I just - yelled it,” he laughed.

“You yelled it?!” Elías grinned.

“James was accusing me and Peter kept talking about friendship and Sirius was trying to comfort James and I ended up shouting at him that I was gay - and incidentally to the entirety of Hogwarts, since it was in the Great Hall.”

“Oh Gods,” Elías’ eyes widened.

“It was funny, I won’t lie. At the time it was terrifying but Sirius jumped in to stand on the table and announce he was bisexual.  _ That  _ took the heat off me,” he smiled a bit, remembering with his green eyes. “I remember just - realizing how happy I was that he wasn’t straight. I think that’s the beginning of my crush on him.”

“Cute,” Elías grinned, feeling a bit of excitement at the thought of Remus and Sirius reuniting. He knew Remus did not think of Elías that way but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be happy for Remus, and enjoy Remus’ happiness with someone else. “So you, bookish and quiet Remus, were in love with the bad boy, the rebel without a cause. That’s  _ really _ cute.”

“I guess I’ve a thing for leather,” Remus joked and Elías laughed. “It’s a bit cliche, isn’t it?”

“Well, you two were good friends,” Elías smiled. “What did you like about him?”

“Good Godric, you’re going to make me talk about this a lot, aren’t you?” Remus flushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s nice! I can tell it makes you happy now to talk about him!” Elías told Remus, hands on his own jaw, watching his friend with a grin. “I like seeing you happy.”

Remus blushed harder, shoulders hunching, looking at his quill before turning to Elías, shaking his head, “Did your sister write you back?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah, she did,” Elías nodded, sighing. “Told me to wait before I wrote to CPS, that she’s calling some friends and seeing how we can get the upper hand from the very beginning. I… I also wrote this morning to my parents. Told them about it.”

“Why?” Remus frowned.

“Cause I’m scared, Remus,” Elías said quietly. “That I may make things worse for Harry. That when it comes down to it, I… I won’t be able to do it right, to protect the kid. My parents have been taking care of Elena and I for years and… they’re wise people. They give good advice. And I need advice from someone like them,” he sighed.

Remus pursed his lips a bit and he reached over to grab Elías’ hand, squeezing it for comfort, Elías quickly opening his palm to let their fingers entwine, now almost second nature.

“It’s good to cover every hole before we dip the bucket in,” Remus told him, reassuring Elías. “You did good, sending a letter to Elena. We’ll just need to wait a few days, is all.”

“Yeah,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face and Remus stood, making Elías look up.

“Let’s take a walk,” he encouraged, pulling Elías up by the hand, giving him a small smile. “You’ve class today?”

“Never on Fridays,” Elías explained, shaking his head, following Remus to the door of the classroom. “But I’ve patrol tonight.”

“Ah, alright - when?”

“Around midnight,” Elías felt Remus drop his hand and a bit of disappointment grew in him but - the kids would talk, if they saw. They’d already been rowdy last night in class, when Elías couldn’t stop smiling, leaving sand everywhere in the classroom, asking and even teasing Elías with too much confidence about Remus. He’d nipped the bud quickly, starting to order some homework. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“To a walk around the lake, right?” Remus hummed, the two professors moving first to Remus’ rooms to get his coat. “It’s a bit colder than in San Fernando,” he chuckled as Elías protested having to go get their outer layers, wasting time. “So yes, we need our coats.”

“We could always have a walk on the beach,” Elías offered, grinning, and Remus gave a laugh, shaking his head as he grabbed his coat and scarf.

“There’s not enough time for that. Perhaps - maybe on the weekend,” he smiled softly, looking at Elías with a bit of a sparkle of mischievousness in his eyes. “We can go on a long ride on your bike.”

“Go to a restaurant,” Elías grinned back, approaching Remus to fix the collar of his shirt and, on the way, also put his scarf well around his neck. “I’ve a lot of songs and dinner choices to show you.”

“Plates, you mean,” Remus laughed.

“I know three languages, Lupin, don’t test me,” he tightened the scarf around his neck and Remus choked, laughing again, leaning down to kiss Elías’ forehead to appease the Spaniard, accomplishing it easily.

“Let’s get your coat and scarf, come on,” he urged, the two passing by the Astronomy Tower quickly before heading outside towards the lake.

There were some students outside in their free period, bundled up but also trying to enjoy the fact that the sun was out, shining, albeit not warmly. Elías glared at it, offended that in Scotland it seemed that the sun was never warm. It was nice to take a stroll, though, the landscape looking a bit greener after so many weeks of snow and rain.

“If only tonight I had class,” he sighed softly, staring at the horizon. “The sky is so clear, we could study the stars…”

“Yes, it does look like it’ll be clear tonight,” Remus murmured, frowning a bit. “Full moon’s approaching. This time it falls on Thursday.”

“Do you want me to take care of your class?” Elías asked softly.

“No, no, Severus already offered, he’s got it taken care of,” Remus replied easily, laughing when Elías set his jaw and scowled. “You know, being so angry isn’t going to help you get some peace about what happened.”

“Fuck being at peace, I deserve to be a petty bitch about Severus throwing a  _ slur _ at me,” Elías told Remus and the werewolf nodded.

“That’s true,” he admitted, giving him a soft look. “Sorry, I just - you two seemed to get along very well. Like… like you were having fun. And that seems better to me than being on a short fuse with someone constantly.”

Elías softened a bit, hand moving to squeeze Remus’ forearm, nodding, “It’s okay. I take no offense. I do, however…” he pursed his lips and sighed deeply. “I had a panic attack, Remus, and Severus had no regards towards my comfort or my sense of safety. He just cared about being in the right, and I think that’s his biggest flaw - his pride. I want him to drop it for fucking once, you know? What’s more important? Having your pride or not being alone?”

“It’s hard to let go of the only thing that’s kept you alive for so long,” Remus murmured, watching Elías as the two entered the canopy of now barren trees, careful not to slip on the mud. “I’ve heard… that it’s quite ruthless in Slytherin.”

“Can be,” Elías murmured. “Apparently we make the truest friends, though,” he looked away, watching the lake glitter, slowly getting closer. “I couldn’t keep the friends I made. Pretty quickly they left when… they saw me wearing my heart on my sleeve. I was too easy to read. And it was dangerous when I was the only muggleborn.”

“You got thrown in a pit of snakes,” Remus moved his arm, letting Elías’ hand drop on his, his palm warm despite the awful cold permeating the grounds. “Yet you’re proud of it.”

“Being a  _ Slytherin _ isn’t bad,” Elías defended, frowning. “It’s… it’s what the years have done to it, I think. The whole blood purity thing… there  _ are  _ good values in Slytherin. There  _ are  _ good people in Slytherin. But everyone is always so… so sure that they will be thrown under the bus, it’s insane. Everyone’s so secretive and ready to be turned over to the authorities, so to speak. I was an easy target.”

“I enjoyed Gryffindor but…” Remus hesitated. “We got away with too much, I think. We got to keep a crown of chivalry and goodness while we threw other kids to supply closets and made fun of their hair, their nose, their speech. We were  _ bullies _ . And we still… got away with it. There was a lot of irresponsibility in that house, a sense of - of being right just because we were chosen to be there, you know? It made James and Sirius and Peter look away from problems that we caused, things that we did wrong. And I include myself in it.”

“I don’t want my children to fall prey to blood supremacy, Remus,” Elías whispered as they reached the lake, stopping in front of it, Elías watching the murky waters. “I don’t… I don’t want Malfoy to grow up like his father. I don’t want him to learn that he had a squib aunt and she was murdered in front of his father until Lucius learned not to speak out of turn.”

“ _ What _ ?” Remus turned to him, eyes wide.

“Yeah, I saw that on a Sight,” Elías murmured, eyes sad. “She was thirteen and Lucius was seventeen. Severus was over at his house, it was… summer. She’s not in Ministry records anymore, the Ministry turned a blind eye because the Malfoys bribed them.”

“That…” Remus looked horrified. “Severus must’ve been -”

“Her age,” Elías replied, sighing. “Lucius liked him. Told him that afternoon, that he was taking Severus under his wing. And then that happened.”

Remus said nothing, watching Elías, his eyes running over the other man’s features. 

“Severus has - a mindset,” Elías told Remus, serious. “And it’s been built over thirty-three years. He’s learned it from others; don’t get close to people, they all lie, they’re all broken, they’re all after their own interests, they’re all going to get close to you and hurt you - even he did it himself, telling Voldemort of the prophecy that pointed directly at the Potters. But he doesn’t understand that it’s not a lesson of -” he ran his hands through his own hair, frustrated. “It’s  _ not  _ a lesson of Voldemort bad, Dumbledore good. It’s the fact that  _ his _ type of behavior is  _ so _ normalized. And whenever he has a problem with anyone, he blames it on the other person.  _ Gods _ , have - have you  _ ever  _ met a man who claimed he was a nice guy?”

“Oh, Merlin,” Remus breathed, eyes wide. “Oh, that’s what he is -”

“Severus is a  _ nice guy _ ,” Elías made a face. “He was that way with Lily and he was that way with me - apparently the same with women and friends. Or maybe he’s just transphobic  _ and _ misogynistic and doesn’t fucking realize it.”

“Do you think he’ll apologize?” Remus asked quietly.

“I have  _ no _ idea,” Elías sighed. “We’ll have to see if he does. Because he really did hurt me, Remus. A lot. And it’s not the first time that his near-sightedness got him into trouble with me. He thought my issues in Sixth Year were petty and stupid and because of that… well,” he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “And now he thought I needed to  _ get over a slur _ and he just threw it at me in the most venomous way possible.”

“I really am trying to be compassionate,” Remus said, frowning. “But the more you mention this, the stupider his actions seem.”

“You get why I’m angry now?” Elías cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I always knew why, I was just trying to think about - you know, in the long run,” Remus sighed, arm moving around Elías’ shoulders, squeezing him to his side. “If he insults you again, let me know. He’ll wipe the floor with my arse but at least I’ll have done  _ something _ instead of just moping around about things you can’t control.”

“It’s fine, Remus,” Elías laughed, rolling his eyes. “Thank you anyway,” he said softly, smiling up at Remus. “Tomorrow - we could truly try to go out to dinner in San Fernando.”

“Definitely,” Remus smiled, looking at the sky. “I enjoyed it very much, you know, I - last night I slept so well. I kept… hearing the ocean waves”

“Imagine falling asleep to those for real,” Elías grinned as Remus gave a low groan. “It’s amazing. I always sleep so well there.”

“I’m jealous,” Remus sighed. “Yes, we’re going tomorrow. Definitely. Should we go for just dinner -”

“Office hours,” Elías reminded him, flicking a strand of Remus’ hair out of his eyes, “We can’t just  _ leave all day _ . I mean, I  _ wish _ we could, but we’ve office hours to attend to. And it’s the middle of the term -  _ and  _ we’re waiting to hear word from my sister. Otherwise we’d leave tonight and come back Sunday night.”

“Maybe on Easter,” Remus murmured, so quiet that Elías thought he hadn’t wanted the Spaniard to hear him. But he did.

“Yeah. On Semana Santa,” he replied, grinning. “It’s a  _ sight _ in San Fernando. Very Christian but I mean, it’s  _ pretty _ .”

“Talk to me about it,” Remus sent him a curious look and Elías began to describe it as the two walked along the lake in their brief morning together, gesturing wildly and actually letting Remus get a word in as the two began to make their way back to the castle, Elías hearing about Easter back at Hogwarts with James, Peter and Sirius. 

The more he spoke about his friends, the sadder Elías became about the circumstances. Whomever had broken up these four friends really hadn’t known the consequences of their actions. They all had loved each other very much, it was obvious. Owed each other years worth of friendship, laughter and pure love.

It was as they were walking through the canopy of trees, laughing at that time James had gotten stuck on the trick step of the third floor stairs that Elías noticed the dark figure approaching them. Startled, he almost pulled out his want, thinking it was a dementor before realizing that it wasn’t - it was Severus, walking surely to the two of them.

“Oh no,” Remus breathed, eyes moving to Elías, who adopted a cold, unconcerned face - also known as his resting bitch face, which, in Remus’ opinion, was the most Slytherin thing he’d ever seen of Elías, aside from his ability to insult others in multiple creative ways. “Uh… do you want me to leave?”

“Nope,” Elías hummed, still walking, not changing his pace and Remus hesitantly followed his lead, the potions professor making a beeline towards them.

Yet when he reached them both, pausing, eyes on Elías, ready to open his mouth - Elías just walked right by him, shoulder brushing Severus’ arm, chin high. Remus glanced at him, wondering what the fuck Elías was doing if he was waiting for an apology.

“Fernández -” Severus began but Elías kept walking and Remus looked somewhere else, not wanting to see the disaster. “Elías!”

At that, Elías did stop and Remus followed, watching the Spaniard not turn around, licking over his teeth under his lips, hand resting on his hip. He looked angry, looked annoyed and Remus was so glad that he’d never been on the end of that spectrum against Elías. Lily had been scary as well, with that face.

“Elías,” Severus winced, looking with distaste at Remus. “Could - could we speak alone?”

“Anything you’ve to say to me, you can say out loud, in front of anyone,” Elías turned around, finally, watching Severus with narrowed eyes. “Or would you rather call me slurs only when it’s the two of us?”

The other Slytherin looked away, sighing deeply, as if he was controlling his own anger. Elías wanted to slap him again, right in his smug little face. Maybe that would teach him about boundaries.

“Does  _ he _ of all people have to be here?” Severus asked through gritted teeth.

“He’s my best friend,” Elías stated, glaring, and Remus felt a rush of happiness at the phrase, turning to look at Elías with a small smile. “If you want me to get over what you did to me, you might want to start getting over what he did to you - almost  _ twenty years  _ ago.”

“His was more  _ extensive _ ,” Severus sneered.

“Well, at least he apologized and learned that what he did was wrong,” Elías smiled venomously at him.

“Uh -” Remus tried to speak but Severus stepped closer, furious.

“I  _ came _ here to apologize but not if you’re going to be so  _ difficult _ , Fernández,” he hissed.

“Oh,  _ boo-hoo _ , I didn’t roll over immediately when you asked me to be alone with you,” Elías pouted at Severus, stepping closer as well. “I’m not your fucking  _ pet _ , Severus. You want to apologize?  _ Do it _ . And make it worth my fucking time. What you did was  _ dis-gus-ting _ and if you want me to talk to your sorry fucking face again, you better make it good.”

“ _ Fine _ !” Severus sighed, hand running through his face, glancing at Remus quickly before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he said blandly, staring at Elías.

“Cute,” Elías rolled his own eyes and turned around. “I do not accept your apology.”

“What?!” Severus snapped, eyes wide, following after Elías, Remus truly thinking that he was not supposed to be here but if it made Elías feel better… “I apologized! Fernández!”

“That was the saddest fucking apology I’ve ever heard!” Elías turned around, shoving at Severus’ chest, making him step back. “I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation, Severus - you are  _ wrong _ . You acted  _ wrong _ . It wasn’t that you did something which happened to hurt my feelings - you  _ fucked up _ ,” he barked at the man, making him step back - first time Remus ever saw him do it. “You fucked up  _ so bad _ , I am  _ still  _ wondering why the hell I’m even talking to you still.”

“I -” Severus glanced over at Remus and Elías snapped.

“Don’t you  _ see?! _ ” he snapped his fingers near Severus’ face, drawing his attention back to him. “You’re more worried about how Remus will see you, will think of you than you are about being forgiven! You don’t give a shit about me and if you don’t, then I don’t want you in my life!”

“I  _ do _ care!” Severus replied and then froze, making Elías’ eyebrows shoot up. There was silence for a few seconds, where Severus opened and closed his mouth before deciding to stand by what he said, eyebrows twitching with emotions held back.

“You care,” Elías said, tone back to normal except for the edge of anger. “Don’t fucking take it back. Say what you mean. Be fucking  _ honest _ , Severus. I want honesty. I don’t want your sarcasm or your insults. Say what you fucking  _ mean _ .”

“I care,” Severus murmured, trying not to be heard. “I -” he grunted, eyes closing. “I began to consider you a… friend.”

“Keep going, keep going,” Elías waved at him, arms crossing, ruthless. Someone had to be, with this man, and it was going to be him. “I want to hear it all, Severus.”

“I didn’t  _ know _ you’d react that way!” he suddenly blurted out, stepping closer until he was a foot away from Elías. “I didn’t know it would hurt you like that and - and then you were panicking and then you fell into the Sight and - it was a mess! I didn’t know what I’d done wrong -”

“You called me a slur,” Elías cut in, voice dangerously slow.

“People must’ve said it so many times, why do you let it affect you?” Severus asked, hastily, looking annoyed. “It’s just a  _ word - _ ”

“Lily Potter,” Elías spoke and Severus’ face went through the five stages of grief in just a second. “Why do you let it affect you, Severus?” he asked, sickly sweet, hand moving to grip the front of his tunic, making Severus lean in. “It’s just a  _ word _ ,” he hissed. 

“It’s different,” Severus whispered.

“It’s fucking  _ trauma _ , asshole,” Elías spat at him. “That word has fucking awful years behind it. Systematic oppression of people who have done  _ nothing  _ except be born from certain people. And you claim that we’re stupid, barbaric,  _ savage _ -”

“Not all of you -”

“No!” Elías shook him, eyes wild. “ _ No! _ It’s not just Lily and I, you  _ fuckwad _ . It’s not about the people whom you care about  _ just so happening _ to be muggleborns. You utter, fucking  _ imbecile _ -” he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “It’s all muggleborns that you hold to contempt until you decide they’re worth your time. But it doesn’t work that way, Severus. If you want me to be your fucking friend, you’ve to  _ let it go _ . Let go of the bigotry, the propaganda you’ve been fed, you’ve to  _ unlearn _ . You unlearn the blood purity you’ve been internalizing for fucking years. You’ve to let that  _ pride _ go.”

He let Severus go, making him stumble back a bit, watching Elías with wide eyes. He looked feral, as if Elías had triggered his fight or flight response. And now Elías was going to test which one Severus chose.

“My pride,” Severus whispered, frowning deeply.

“That’s right, your pride,” Elías stated, pulling off his own scarf, slowly undoing the knot, seeing Severus’ eyes go to his hands. “You’ve pissed me the fuck off. And it’ll take time for me to forgive you, are you willing to actually work for it? And not give up because a muggleborn isn’t worth it?”

Severus hesitated, eyes flickering back to Remus only to end up staying on Elías, swallowing. Good. He was learning.

“What does it mean to let go of my pride, to you?” he asked, voice going back to that smooth tone of his that he used. Some balance, surely, that he was trying to gain but Elías was way past giving him some leeway. Cards on the table, he wasn’t beating around the bush.

“Very easy to test right now,” Elías hummed, throwing the scarf over his shoulder, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows, watching Severus. “Kneel.”

The absolute stunned silence that took over was astonishingly  _ good  _ to Elías, watching the range of emotions on Severus’ face, his reaction - unfiltered, raw, the surprise and the fight for dignity. Severus opened his mouth, almost gasping, eyes staring at Elías’ cold, impassive blue eyes until the satisfaction swept into the iris.

“I -”

“I said,” Elías called again, voice a hiss, watching Severus. “ _ Kneel _ .”

Severus panted, visibly, cheeks flushed and Elías felt so inadequately  _ smug _ about his embarrassment that he almost felt a smirk twitch on his lips but he waited, patiently, watching the other Slytherin in this battle for power that he seemed to be having internally.

Was he willing?

Just as Elías’ shoulders went down, feet moving to turn around, Severus let out a grunt and went to his knees, right in front of Elías, his dignity and pride shattering on the floor like a porcelain figurine, scattered and unrecognizable. Satisfaction and pleasure ran through Elías and he couldn’t help the smirk that took over his face, walking closer, eyes meeting Severus’.

The man looked impossibly embarrassed, eyes flickering a bit, as if to look back at Remus but Remus didn’t  _ matter  _ in that moment. Not to Elías. But to Severus -  _ oh, to Severus…  _ it was an espectacle. He was the one showing vulnerability and weakness and willingness to submit under a muggleborn in front of one of the only men left alive whom he hated the most. 

That was power tossed to Elías, pulsing in his chest, and he was almost drunk on it, hand moving to pinch Severus’ chin, lifting it up, fingers pressing to his jaw so he could feel it.

“Beg,” he commanded, watching him, towering over him for once, seeing Severus breathing even harder at the order, his face completely red. 

“I -” he attempted but Elías squeezed his face a bit more, ruthless.

“Beg for my forgiveness,” Elías told him, his hair almost curtaining Severus off the rest of the world, too long by now, eyes on Elías’ with his pulse visibly beating on his throat. “Beg the mudblood for forgiveness, Severus.”

His tone was silky, almost, pulling on Severus’ chin, making him kneel at an uncomfortable position but, to Elías’ delight and satisfaction, the professor’s lips moved.

“Please,” he finally whispered, swallowing hard. “P-please. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”

“A bit harder,” Elías purred, Severus making a low noise. “Come on.”

“ _ Please _ ,” he rasped, eyes closing, face burning. “Please. Elías.”

Elías watching him, taking in every single detail on his face, watching Severus’ perceptions fall down the drain. It was only when Elías was certain that Severus would never forget this moment that his hand dropped from Severus’ chin, stepping back, hand running through his partly blond hair, watching Severus stare at the ground, panting hard, as if he’d ran a marathon. Emotionally, he probably had.

“Alright,” Elías spoke up, voice sweeter but no less severe, gesturing at Remus to come by his side. “It’s a start. One that I like. There’s a lot you’ve to learn, Severus - not that I’m absent of fault whatsoever but I do believe I’ve a say in how you unlearn blood supremacy.”

Severus looked up at him, saying nothing, eyes dark. Elías saw Remus from the corner of his eye slowly move to the path, stepping further away and the Spaniard flicked Severus’ chin up again, smirking.

“You like your insults so much, I thought I owed you an unconventional one before we’re even,” Elías murmured, eyes flickering to his kneeling position before leaning in, looking at Severus in the eye, pronouncing the word so very slowly, making sure he’d remember this moment for the rest of his life, lips brushing his ear. “You  _ whore _ .”

He didn’t wait to see the effect of his insult, veins on fire, turning on his heel and walking back towards the castle with a lopsided grin on his face, Remus very obviously a mix between uncomfortable and stunned beside him. Once the two were inside the castle, though, Remus spoke up.

“That,” he began, blinking at Elías. “That was…”

“Obscene?” Elías asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“Among other things,” Remus cleared his throat. “I didn’t think he’d do it.”

“I didn’t, either,” Elías hummed. “That’s why I asked. To let him impress me, if he truly wanted it. And he paid forward. Did very well.”

“What did you call him?” Remus turned to him, curious, looking at Elías with different eyes - not scared, just… appraising. As if he hadn’t realized that Elías could take pleasure in actually having power over someone else who’d hurt him. “I didn’t hear.”

“Oh, you didn’t?” Elías smirked, stopping in front of the Astronomy Tower, Remus turning around to face him, feet in place.

“I’m morbidly curious,” Remus confessed, stepping closer, leaning in. “Please?” he smiled, adorably, and Elías cooed, pinching his cheek, making Remus scrunch his eyes.

“Aren’t you cute?” Elías laughed, finally looking at Remus with a hum. “I called him a whore.”

Remus’ face went from mildly curious to a picture of… something that Elías couldn’t really interpret well. Went through various phases, too, and Elías cocked his head, trying to analyze and decipher them to no avail.

“O-oh,” he flushed, eyes flickering over Elías’ features. “That’s…”

“Humiliating? It’s meant to be,” Elías replied.

“I mean, the position -”

“Spare me the giggly sex talk, Remus,” Elías told him, unimpressed as Remus flushed. “We’re not in high school anymore. I called him a whore because he stripped himself down in front of me and begged me. I thought it’d be appropriate. I thought he’d remember it.”

“You’re much more calculating than I thought you’d be,” Remus sighed, watching him.

“Is that a problem?” Elías asked, now uncomfortable.

“No, it’s just…” Remus gave a hum. “Different. It feels strange to learn something so big about you. I’d never seen you like that, it was just a shock.”

“Alright, yeah, that’s understandable,” Elías laughed. “So what did you learn, then?”

“To apologize well in the future,” Remus said and Elías laughed again, waving goodbye at Remus as the werewolf left for class.


	23. Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me confess that this is one of my favorite chapters so far!
> 
> Also, a big shout out to all you people who have been leaving such nice, beautiful comments on this little thing. I didn't think it would gather much attention but you all are encouraging me and moving me. Thank you so much, and thank you for being part of this.
> 
> Content warning, watch out;  
> \- Mention of suicide  
> \- Mention of scars/surgery  
> \- Mention of ED (anorexia, builimia)  
> \- Mention of Self-Harm  
> \- Mention of Dysphoria and Dysmorphia

On Saturday morning, as Elías was eating breakfast, an owl passed over his head and dropped several letters in front of him, tipping over his bowl of cereal and ruining his pants and shirt, making the staff table pause and turn to him. Pomona and Hagrid began to laugh loudly.

“Well,” Elías sighed, taking a napkin and cleaning his face of milk that had splashed. “Sooner or later, this had to happen.”

“Are you alright?” Remus laughed, reaching to grab a piece of cereal and pull it out of his hair while Elías salvaged the letters, sighing. “You look rather fetching, covered in your breakfast.”

“I will  _ bite  _ you, Lupin,” he glared, looking at them before blinking, playfulness gone. “Oh. Oh shit, that was fast - okay, we need to go.”

He stood, gesturing at Remus, who finished his pumpkin juice before following. The two began to walk down the Great Hall to the double doors and a few students laughed at the disaster that was Elías’ clothes covered in milk, the professor laughing them away.

“Professor Fernández, is that a new fashion statement?” a Ravenclaw asked, teasingly.

“It is in Madrid, Ms Green, do keep up,” he threw back, chuckling, walking out of the Great Hall. “Can we go to my rooms? I very obviously have to change.”

“No problem,” Remus nodded, looking at the bunch of letters in his hand. “Those are multiple letters.”

“My sister sure got busy,” Elías breathed, pursing his lips before murmuring, “Fucking  _ bless you _ , Elena.”

Remus smiled a bit as he and Elías reached the Astronomy Tower, reaching out to Elías’ shirt and plucking another piece of cereal, laughing when Elías made an annoyed noise.

“Is my hair a mess?” Elías asked, hand reaching for his locks and Remus gave a little chuckle. “Remus! Is my hair a mess?!”

“It looks fine, Elías,” the werewolf replied, but as soon as they both entered Elías’ rooms, the Spaniard moved to the mirror, whining. “Just change your pants -”

“I really need to fix my hair, the dye is gone and it’s just all over the place,” the Slytherin sighed, touching the deep roots.

“Elías,” Remus laughed a bit, hands moving to his shoulders from behind. “There’s a time and place to be vain and worry about the state of your hair. We’ve got letters to read.”

“Right!  _ Fuck _ , sorry - right,” he flushed, pushing the letters into his hand. “You start, let me change and I’ll be right with you.”

“Alright,” Remus walked to the couch, sitting down and taking off his sweater, since it was much warmer in Elías’ room than the rest of the castle. 

He untied the chord around the bunched up letters and pulled out the first one, one from Elena to Elías, but when he opened it he pretty soon found himself looking at Spanish in neat handwriting. He set it aside, focusing on the other letters -

And they were all in French and Spanish.

Remus was starting to regret not ever taking a secondary language, leaning back on the couch before sighing a bit, arms crossing. He felt slightly useless, at the moment, and let his thoughts drift into the fact that Elías probably hadn’t taken any classes to learn these other two languages. He’d gone to Hogwarts knowing American English, and he’d told Remus that it was because when he was younger, he’d been living on a military base in Belgium. He knew French because some of his family lived in Belgium and his sister had gone to Beauxbatons, which he’d frequently visited. 

He felt inadequacy run through him again, as it so often did whenever he began to feel affection for Elías seep into his thoughts. The bloke was in no means rich but he was rich in culture, much more than Remus thought he himself was - he’d barely travelled, the furthest he’d gone was thanks to Elías himself. He only knew English and anything he wanted to do in life had always been trumped by the bite on his shoulder, scarred by now but never gone.

He’d thought that rejecting Elías and lying about his own feelings would make Elías distance himself, maybe find someone else, perhaps even let their friendship fizzle out but none of that had happened. If anything, he felt like he and Elías were closer than ever and it was such a dangerous path to walk on - the hand holding, the touches to his face, telling him so earnestly to run away with him for an entire weekend to a coastline paradise.

Remus groaned, rubbing his face, feeling his cheeks heat up as he remembered how on the  _ brink  _ of kissing Elías he’d been. So, so closer, his tattooed hands cupping Remus’ face, the way he’d looked when Elías had told him that Sirius would have a safe place, regardless of what happened. He didn’t even seem bothered that Remus still had feelings for Sirius, despite very obviously having feelings for Remus himself.

Merlin, that was the worst part, knowing Elías had feelings for Remus and being unable to do anything about it. Not without the immense guilt of holding this young man back, his friend, who deserved someone his age, someone less jaded, someone smarter and less monstrous. Elías didn’t seem to know his worth and perhaps Remus was a bit hung up on Elías and idolized him slightly but he knew Elías was way out of his league.

And out of Severus’ league, as well. Though perhaps the potions professor did not care about that, with the way he’d looked at Elías the previous day. The memory of the way Elías had acted, what he’d said, the coolness of his gaze as he told Severus to  _ kneel  _ -

“Hey! I’m back,” Elías walked back to the living room, making Remus jump a bit. “All good now, did you read them?”

He wore typical Elías clothes - button-up with some strange print on it, tight dark jeans and way too much jewelry on his neck and fingers but he’d actually pulled his hair into a tiny little ponytail, sitting beside Remus on the couch.

“They’re in French and Spanish,” Remus replied, handing him the letter from his sister. “Can you translate?”

“Sure! Yeah, let me read first,” Elías took the letter, bare feet moving on the couch as well, sneaking his toes under Remus’ thigh as he bit his thumbnail and ran his eyes through the letter, brow furrowed. Remus waited patiently, undoing the first button of his shirt, sighing a bit. It really was warmer in the room and he knew it was Elías’ Spaniard preference but  _ Godric _ , he couldn’t get used to the heat.

“Are you overheating?” Elías asked, making Remus nod a bit. “Hold on - pass me my wand, it’s on the table -”

“Here,” Remus grabbed it, about to pass it to Elías when he noticed the runes on the side, blinking. “Is that - are those divination runes?”

“Yep,” Elías nodded, taking the vine wood wand and murmuring a  _ finite  _ under his breath, making the room cool down, Remus sighing with relief. 

“I didn’t know Ollivander made specialty wands,” Remus confessed, a bit impressed, accepting the wand when Elías offered it to Remus for him to look. “It’s actually  _ very _ strange, I’ve never seen non-round wands?”

“That’s because it’s not Ollivander’s,” Elías chuckled, eyebrow raising when Remus turned to him. “What? You think Spain doesn’t have wand-makers?”

“Well -” he flushed. “We only…”

“No, I know, I know - there’s Ollivander and Gregorovitch and that’s it, right?” Elías rolled his eyes, pushing the letter from his sister aside and grabbing the next one, this one in French. “There’s a really famous wandmaker in Spain, in Cantábria,” he explained. “Which is one of the most magical autonomous communities in Spain, so my parents and I went there to get my wand, because  _ fuck  _ British prices aaaand also, my father wanted me to have something Spanish as a tool, you know. He claimed that I would spend a lot of time in England and I couldn’t forget my heritage - kind of hard to forget but I mean, it was fine, we went on a trip to Cantábria, I wasn’t gonna complain.”

“Who’s the wandmaker?” Remus asked, curious, knowing  _ nothing  _ about wizarding society outside of the United Kingdom.

“Antonio Castañeda,” Elías told him. “An old coot who took a liking to me despite it being  _ three days _ of not finding the right wand for me.”

“Three days?!” Remus laughed, incredulous.

“Oh yeah, it was a pain in the ass. I was starting to think that I wasn’t magical at all, cried on the third day until he pulled out the specialized wands.”

“What wood is it?” Remus looked over the dark coloration of the wand and it looked almost black.

“Oh, it’s vine wood,” Elías explained, making Remus blink. “I know, it’s too dark - that’s because of the core, don’t worry.”

“Vine wood,” Remus chuckled a bit, watching Elías. “Aren’t their owners nearly always those witches or wizards who seek a greater purpose, who have a vision beyond the ordinary and who frequently astound those who think they know them best?”

“Hardy har har,” Elías rolled his eyes with a grin, taking the wand back and looking over the next letter. “I’m a Slytherin Seer, what else is new?”

“What’s the core?” Remus leaned against the back of the couch, watching Elías.

“Thestral hair,” he hummed. 

“The least known ingredient in wand-making -” Remus laughed, shaking his head. “Even your wand is mysterious.”

“I’m not mysterious,” Elías replied, frowning at Remus. “I  _ wish _ I was. I would have fared so much better in Slytherin. And I’d probably be sexier.”

Remus laughed, “Well, your  _ Sight _ is mysterious.”

“We’re not going to mysticize Divination, Remus,” Elías rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to put on seventeen beaded necklaces and claim that a student will die by the end of the year - bless Trewlawney and her heart but I’m not that kind of Seer.”

“Your magic works differently, though,” Remus pointed out. “Much different than hers. Your Sight is not what I was told it was like, Divination.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Elías mumbled, slightly annoyed. “It’s not like I already know that my Sight is a fucking mess and it’s probably doing seven lines of cocaine inside me until I explode and hit my head on a stone column.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, I’m sorry,” Remus said quietly, biting his lower lip.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Elías sighed, putting away the letter and taking the next, looking over the edge of it at Remus. “This isn’t new info for me but it  _ is _ for you. I get that it’s weird. Dumbledore has been looking into it for years and we still don’t know shit. I can have fifty visions a day or one in three months - maybe all I’ll see in those fifty visions are two rats in a subway fighting for a churro and I’ll spend the entire day laughing about it - who knows?! It’s so weird, it’s supposed to be for important events but instead I’m left here, knowing songs from the future and the ending of the  _ fourth  _ Indiana Jones movie. Why make a fourth movie for Indiana Jones?! It wasn't even good! Spoiler alert: it's about aliens."

“Sounds tiring,” Remus murmured.

“A lot of times, it is,” Elías pursed his lips, taking a deep breath before exhaling just as long. “Honestly, it’s - it’s a lot of guesswork and morning headaches and waking up crying because I just saw you and James talking about his wedding and you two seem so happy! And - and I know how it ends…” he bit the inside of his cheek. “Just wish I could control it better.”

“Can you?” Remus let his hand fall on Elías’ knee, squeezing, giving him some support.

“I mean, I’ve  _ tried _ ,” Elías winced. “Both alone and with Sybill. I know a way of like, pushing away? My Sight? But when it comes back it’s like a freight train, it hits me so hard that I’m left in the hospital.”

“You seem to push them away often,” Remus pointed out, frowning. 

“Well, I  _ am _ teaching now. I’ve classes to teach, I can’t - just pause and stare at a wall for two hours and then come back to finish the class, Remus,” Elías chuckled, 

“Alright, that’s fair,” Remus chuckled, watching him. “Can you force yourself to have a vision? Have you tried?”

“Yep,” Elías nodded, putting the last letter away and beckoning Remus even closer. “Think of something you want to share - like, concentrating to take a memory into a Pensive.”

“Alright,” Remus closed his eyes, feeling Elías’ hand moving to cup his jaw, his face burning a bit as he also felt Elías’ breath against his neck, the man much closer than he’d anticipated. “What memory -”

“Anything you want to show me,” Elías replied, his other hand gripping Remus’ shirt. “Just focus very hard on it.”

Remus pursed his lips, breathing in slowly, letting it out, then thinking of his mother, that Sunday morning at the lake. He thought of the hat she’d been wearing, that lovely straw hat, the way she’d held his hands and brushed away his wet hair, a towel around his shoulders. Her sun bleached hair, her bright green eyes, her voice. Remus’ most precious memory of Hope Lupin before illness had taken over her.

When he opened his eyes, Elías’ were open but milky, the blues of his iris and the black of his pupils washed away and it was such a shock that Remus almost gasped, his hands gripping Elías’ arms, looking at his friend. He thought it’d take a moment, just a few seconds but the minutes stretched and Remus wondered just how long it’d take - hours? A day? Maybe more?

But after half an hour, Elías blinked, that whiteness in his eyes gone and Remus saw his eyes fill up quickly, tears spilling down, the Spaniard watching Remus with a small smile.

“That was so lovely,” he laughed wetly, brushing away his tears. “Oh, what a lovely woman,” he murmured, making Remus smile back a bit, lending Elías his handkerchief. “She was so beautiful, Remus… you look a lot like her.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew my father,” Remus replied, chuckling. “I look so much more like him.”

“That’s so lovely, though, thank you for sharing, Remus,” Elías murmured, smiling at him. “I - I recently heard a song in one of my Sights, I’ll play it for you later, after dinner, okay?”

“Sounds good to me,” Remus nodded and Elías sighed, taking all of the letters and rolling them together, tying them off. “So? What’s the verdict?”

“My parents wrote to me, as well as my sister and some magical lawyers that she got in contact with. My cousin Emilio is cleared for magical cases despite being a muggle, since he knows about me, so he is very possibly allowed within the Ministry of Magic as per Spanish law,” he explained. “My cousin Emilio is also the richest bitch in my family and he’s a ruthless lawyer, a bit conservative but uh, he loves me  _ very  _ much so he’s willing to help Harry out with this. He’s currently writing the letter that I’ve to send to CPS so… more waiting.”

“Well, at least we’ve some solid ground,” Remus told Elías, squeezing his shoulder. “This is all so Harry has to go through the minimal, Elías, you’re doing good.”

“I’ve to brush up on law, see how this whole thing is in the magical community, how we would be able to make sure Harry doesn’t end up in another fucking - awful home,” Elías rubbed his face. “Gods, this is gonna be a storm. Let’s pray it goes well.”

“If your cousin Emilio is half as ruthless as your sister seems to be, I’m not worried,” Remus confessed and Elías laughed, even throwing his head back. 

“He is. Gods, he  _ is _ . He’s a  _ lawyer _ ,” he rolled his eyes. “Like, I love my family, Remus, I really do but political conversation with him is -  _ oof _ ,” he laughed, shaking his head. “He’s a good man but… has his flaws.”

“In a family so big, it’s understandable,” Remus gave him a lopsided little smile. 

“Yeah, I suppose,” Elías laughed, leaning back against the couch, looking a bit tired. “I’ve a tea date with Pomona and Minerva today, by the way, what time is it?”

“Eleven,” Remus hummed and Elías groaned. “Are you late?”

“Yeah,” he grunted, standing, brushing wrinkles off his shirt. “At least I don’t have milk all over me. I’ll see you at lunch, Remus.”

Remus stood, walking out of Elías’ rooms, watching him leave and he tried not to think about how much he wanted Elías to just stay on the couch and talk with him all day.

* * *

Theodore Nott was talking with Blaise and Gregory when Elías turned the corner, walking towards the Great Hall for lunch, reviewing the letters he’d been sent by one of the French lawyers in Strasbourg. He didn’t notice the kids until they called his attention and, with a blink of his eyes, he realized they were there.

“Oh, hi!” he smiled.

“Hey Professor Fernández,” Goyle greeted. “Are you alright?”

“I’m doing just fine, Gregory, thank you,” he told the student and Blaise seemed not to care much but Theodore was watching Elías with a bit of a frown. “Theodore, would you like to catch up tomorrow Sunday on your lessons? I’m sorry I couldn’t make it on Wednesday.”

“Yes, that’d be great,” he said quietly and Elías did not fail to notice Blaise’s hand moving to the small of Theodore’s back, supporting him silently. “Thanks, professor.”

“Anytime,” he smiled, nodding at him, walking along but tuning his ear in case any of them said anything to Theodore. Quietly, he heard Blaise speak.

“... _ don’t think he’ll understand, but if you want to trust him, Theo, I… _ ”

Elías pursed his lips, concerned for yet another child. In a school as big as Hogwarts, it was bound to happen, that more than one child was being mistreated but - fuck, really? Both in Third Year? Both because of their guardians? Disgusting.

He was about to enter the Great Hall when Severus walked out, the two almost colliding, and Elías raised a hand to Severus’ chest before he smashed into his face. Then, to Elías’ surprise, Severus’ hand raised to his, gripping it.

A moment of silence, Severus’ wide eyes on his.

“Uh…” Elías wiggled his fingers. “Hello?”

As if burned, Severus released Elías’ hand and he quickly walked past him, cheeks red, Elías watching him leave with a little smirk. Oh, he sure remembered yesterday. And he would for a long while. Good.

“Severus,” he called, making the Professor freeze. “Next Friday. 8pm. Amortentia.”

Severus cleared his throat, turning his head only slightly before replying smoothly, “I will wait for you.”

Then he walked off hastily, making throngs of students part in his way but Elías smirked, knowing he had him exactly where Elías wanted him. No more insults from Severus, that was for sure. For the first time, a risky choice had paid off and he felt a bit high on that, moving on to eat lunch next to Hagrid and Remus.

Lunch bled into office hours, which Elías spent revising his Amortentia notes, trying to ignore how excited he was to brew again in the dungeons. It had  _ nothing  _ to do with Severus and everything to do with the potions themselves. If he finished Advanced Potions, he could take onto the task of brewing Wolfsbane, even during the summers, for Remus. Surely he would soon realize that he, in fact, wasn’t a danger to society.

A couple of students came for questions and by the time dinner arrived, Elías had managed to finish revising his potion notes and clear up seventeen thousand questions from Hermione Granger, now walking beside him down the Astronomy Tower, circles deep under her eyes.

“Are you okay, Hermione?” Elías asked, concerned. “You seem so tired.”

“I’m alright, professor,” she reassured, yawning widely. “Just - so many classes, you know,” she gave him an exhausted smile and Elías stopped her, pulling her aside on the hallway, making sure she watched his eyes.

“If you’re experiencing burnout, Miss Granger, it’d be for the best to drop some classes,” he suggested, concerned. “I understand that Professor McGonagall has given you a tool with which to take on more but if you are not getting enough sleep, I suggest you think about leaving aside such a wide curriculum.”

“I couldn’t!” her eyes widened. “I’m not tired, professor, I’m fine! It’s just -” her eyes watered and Elías blinked, not having anticipated that. “It’s just… my friends and I are fighting.”

“I see,” he said softly, taking out a handkerchief to hand her, Hermione sniffling as she dabbed at her eyes. “I heard something of the sort. Is this related to your pet? Your cat?”

“Yes, sir,” she sighed, crying quietly. “Crookshanks is just a cat! And Ron doesn’t even like his rat! And - I don’t want Crookshanks to be outside all the time, he’s an indoor cat! It’s not his fault that he has instincts!”

“I... see,” Elías repeated, personally thinking that it was Hermione’s job to take care of her cat if he was attacking other pets but knowing that she wouldn’t listen to reason when she was so upset. “I’m very sorry, Hermione.”

“I haven’t seen Crookshanks in so long,” she sniffled. “I can’t find him!”

At that, Elías worried a little. There were dementors around Hogwarts and if Hermione wanted her cat, she would absolutely be the one to convince Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to go looking for it in the Forbidden Forest or something as insane.

“Hey -  _ hey _ ,” he soothed the girl, kneeling in front of her, smiling softly. “It’s alright, Hermione. It’s okay. We’ll find your cat - Crookshanks, right? We’ll find him.”

“How?” she sniffled.

“Well, it just so happens that I’m an animagus and share shape with your pet,” he explained softly, watching her eyes go wide.

“Like Professor McGonagall?” she gasped.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I’ll go around the castle and search for your cat soon, I promise.”

“Thank you, professor,” she said quietly, watching Elías with different eyes, making Elías’ alarm bells ring. Oh no, not another one. What was up with teenage girls and showing them basic decency making them fall for you? Elías wasn’t looking queer enough for them to not think about him that way, apparently. It also came with being the youngest in the staff, he supposed. 

“You better get some sleep tonight, Miss Granger,” he warned her gently, standing again. “Relax a little!” he ordered, wagging his finger at her before he felt a hand around his arm, turning to see Remus, remembering suddenly that they hard a dinner d -

Dinner. Together. In San Fernando.

“I was looking for you,” Remus told him, making Elías smile.

“Well, you found me,” he turned fully to the Defense Professor. “Shall we go, then?”

“Lead the way - hello, Hermione. Have a good dinner,” Remus smiled at her and Hermione waved at him, looking a bit stunned.

“You seem excited,” Elías grinned at Remus, the two of them walking against the crowd. “Ready for some decent fucking cuisine?”

“You don’t like the food at Hogwarts?” Remus asked, surprised, and received a scalding look from Elías, making him laugh loudly. “No, really, you don’t?”

“Oh, you poor, lowly Brit,” Elías sighed deeply, hand moving to pat Remus’ shoulder. “You truly don’t know what you’re missing, right?”

“British food isn’t that bad,” Remus laughed.

“Wait until you try real food,” Elías told him, shaking his head. “Will change your fucking  _ life _ , I promise you. Did you know the Mediterranean diet is the healthiest?” he boasted.

“I did not know,” Remus replied, amused, entertaining Elías and letting him be as smug as he wanted. Didn’t hurt to inflate the man’s ego if he could also take a hit. “I  _ have _ tried a lot of different cuisines, though, I’ll let you know.”

“Well, I suppose so,” Elías nodded, looking at Remus. “There’s more and more different restaurants coming to England. And London  _ does  _ have a big Indian influence - if not downright appropriation,” he chuckled.

“I remember the Potters made the best,” Remus told him, eyes a bit melancholic as they climbed the stairs to Elías’ room. “I’ve  _ never _ had better Indian food, honestly.”

“I wonder if Harry’s ever had any,” Elías pondered out loud, voice a bit sad, frowning a bit and Remus winced. “With guardians like the one he has…”

“Let’s try not to think about that too much,” Remus quickly interrupted his trail of thought, hand pressing against Elías’ lower back as they entered his rooms. “We’re taking a break, uh - running away again, right? So that means we leave our problems right here. At least for a couple of hours.”

“Why, Mr Lupin, that sounds  _ fantastic _ ,” Elías told him, grinning widely, walking over to his bedroom to grab his wallet before moving to the chimney. “You ready?”

“Ready,” he smiled back.

* * *

“You were right,” Remus breathed, leaning back on the plastic chair he was sitting on, giving a loud laugh as he finally pushed away his plate, the ocean breeze running through his hair and the musician by the shore playing with three more people now. “I’ve never had fish that tasted that good.”

“There’s a story about this one, cazón, it’s also known as  _ bienmesabe _ ,” Elías tapped the table, sipping his wine before grinning at Remus. “In the 19th Century, Queen Isabel II came down to San Fernando, and the first meal she had was this one. Now, cazón is such a bland fish, it tastes of  _ nothing _ . That’s why it’s so cheap, right? But this queen sat down, ate a piece of it and said that it tasted incredible, that it was the greatest thing she’d ever had - the food of the poor, the food of her people. And the folk in San Fernando were so proud that they started to call this dish  _ bienmesabe _ . So - that’s a bit of history there for you.”

Remus grinned, looking at the plate, then over at the restaurant, the two sitting outside even though it was still February - thought bleeding into March soon. There were so many people, though, most of them without coats, just enjoying a drink on a Saturday evening. Remus felt himself melt in the shitty white, plastic chair, watching the horizon as it turned steadily redder and redder with the sunset.

“I could die here,” he confessed quietly.

“Oh, same,” Elías hummed, grinning at him. “I like this. Coming here for dinner with you.”

“Me too,” Remus chuckled, turning to look at Elías before he murmured. “Thank you.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble,” Elías dismissed easily, waving him off. “I love showing off San Fernando to people -”

“No, that’s not what I -” Remus sighed, turning fully to him, sitting straight on his chair. “Thank you for… being my friend. For helping me so much and doing all these nice things for me despite the fact that I’m - I’m unable to give back.”

“That’s not why I do it, Remus,” Elías said softly, giving him a sad look. “I do it because you’re my friend and I like you. That’s all.”

“I know,” Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, giving Elías a sad smile. “I know, just… I wish I could also show you a little piece of paradise where you could forget all of your problems.”

“I already have that,” Elías said softly, smiling back at him, hand moving to squeeze Remus’ arm. “Honestly, let’s - let’s go home, yeah? I’ll even play you something.”

“On the guitar?” Remus’ face lit up.

“On the beach,” Elías nodded, standing, taking their plates and bottles and bringing them to the bar, where the guy working double shift thanked him and gave him the bill, Elías returning with his leather gloves out. “Let’s go,” he nodded at the werewolf, grinning.

Elías’ bike was near the restaurant and the two reached it in no time, Elías throwing his leg over the machine before he felt Remus climb on the back, working their helmets on. They were in the city, in the Bahía de Cádiz, not in San Fernando but it only took twenty minutes to get back home. They didn’t have patrol tonight, either way, and if it were up to Elías, he’d sleep here and come back on Sunday.

The ride back to San Fernando was through a long bridge over the bridge, one that Elías thoroughly enjoyed, especially in the sunset. It tinged everything in a beautiful orange glow that left him breathless, slowing the speed of the bike just for a while to enjoy every single second of this moment. Remus’ arms tightened around his middle and Elías wished he could close his eyes and lose himself.

When they arrived at Elías’, it was twilight, everything around them painted blue while Elías took off his gloves and Remus climbed down the bike, taking off the helmet. 

“Sunsets are different here, too,” Remus murmured as the two of them walked out of the garage, inside the house. “The sky seems bigger.”

“Yeah,” Elías hummed, reaching for a few towels they could both sit on and the bottle of wine from Thursday, still three quarters full. He wrapped the wine in the towels for easier access, about to grab his acoustic guitar when he noticed Remus standing by the chimney, looking at the pictures sitting on top. “Those are old,” Elías laughed, a bit embarrassed. “Uh… before I transitioned.”

“Wait, you’re in these pictures?” Remus blinked, watching the frames. “I… can’t find you? Or at least I don’t recognize you.”

“That’s very flattering,” Elías grinned, moving next to Remus before pointing at an awkward frame on a family picture, on Carmen’s wedding so many years ago. It looked just like any fourteen year old - long hair, chubby, makeup a bit caked on, shoulders hunched and dress a sky blue. “That’s me.”

“ _ Nooo _ ,” Remus took the frame, watching the picture, eyes wide. “That’s not - that  _ not _ you.”

“That’s the worse version of me,” Elías shrugged, giving him a lopsided little smile. “Uh, I was really dysphoric that day. I really hated wearing dresses.”

“You look  _ so _ different,” Remus breathed, eyes moving between the frame and Elías, giving out a little laugh, grinning. “That’s brilliant, though. That’s  _ so _ good. You - you must be so proud of who you’ve become, of the changes you’ve done.”

Elías stared at Remus, never really thinking about that, only focusing on how much further he could get. The werewolf looked absolutely delighted, though, watching Elías with what he could guess was… admiration.

“I... I guess,” Elías flushed, flattered.

“The hair, though,” Remus put the frame back in place, taking the towels and wine from Elías, starting to walk to the door. “The hair was  _ so long _ . Was it bad to cut it off?”

“No, gods,  _ no _ , it was  _ wonderful _ ,” Elías breathed, so glad to be able to talk about this with someone that wasn’t his family. “It was down to my fucking ass and I  _ hated it _ . Like - long hair is beautiful and I don’t mind it as much now? But when I cut my hair, I… I cried so hard, Remus. It was wonderful.”

Remus took off his shoes on the boardwalk, along with his socks, already knowing better now and he turned to smile at Elías softly.

“I can’t even think of what that’s like,” Remus murmured. “Having to - to go through that process. It must have been scary.”

“Terrifying,” Elías laughed. “But I don’t - I don’t feel brave.”

“You are,” Remus supplied but Elías shook his head.

“No, I was just - sick of it, Remus,” he whispered, swallowing. “Is it truly bravery? To choose between a lifetime of hiding or a lifetime of being yourself?”

“Against society? Yes, I think it’s brave,” Remus spread the towels, bottle dropping to the sand. “I do understand why you don’t want to be called brave, though. I get it.”

“It shouldn’t be called bravery,” Elías murmured, sitting down on the towel, putting his guitar on the sand and undoing a few buttons of his shirt to let the seaside breeze run through him. “It - it saddens me that people think I’m brave for this. I didn’t have a choice, in the end. It was either coming out or…” he looked down at his lap.

“Hiding,” Remus tried to finish.

“No, Remus,” Elías murmured. “It was either telling my family I was trans or killing myself.”

Remus’ head snapped to Elías, eyes wide, and Elías pulled his knees towards his chest.

“Being trans fucking sucks,” Elías told him, eyes finding Remus’. “But at the same time it doesn't. If someone told me that I could be cis right now? Like - like, cisgender as in, like you? Not trans at all? I don't think I'd... I'd take that. Because even though it's been a hard process and it's been difficult and I'm still not fully happy with my body, I'm... I'm proud of it. I am _so_ proud of my body. It’s so rewarding to be trans. Every time I look at my chest… at my scars? I feel - I feel so accomplished.”

“Chest scars,” Remus murmured, eyes flickering down for a moment before he inhaled. “You had muggle surgery?”

“And muggle therapy. And muggle transition,” he added, nodding. “I had - Gods, I had the  _ biggest _ fucking tits. You saw it,” he laughed loudly. “And I was overweight so it was just - worse. No matter how tight my binder was, there was still -” Elías swallowed. “But now I walk through the halls and everyone  _ knows _ I’m a man. Everyone. And it feels  _ so  _ good after years of fighting for hormones. Years of fighting my parents. Years of fighting people who in the end left me for not being who they wanted me to be.”

Remus watched him, not knowing what to say, seeing Elías slowly close his eyes and let the breeze run through his multicolored hair. The dye had almost washed off by now, leaving the bleached blond and the deep roots. They almost looked brown but if you paid close attention, you’d realize they were a dirty blond. 

“Do you still feel bad about your body?” Remus asked him before quickly backpedaling, panicking. “Fuck, sorry - shite, that’s something way too private -”

“It’s fine, I trust you,” Elías murmured before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I get bouts of dysphoria from time to time, sometimes so strong that… I kind of… just cover up. And I still struggle with dysmorphia.”

“Dys… morphia,” Remus repeated slowly, blinking rapidly. “As in - as in anorexia.”

“Well, sometimes,” Elías shrugged a bit, moving his gaze back to the ocean. “I had more problems about binge eating so I guess - I dunno. Bulimia? More bulimia than anorexia. But I suppose I had both, at some point.”

“So when you don’t eat -”

“Don’t worry about that,” Elías quickly interrupted, giving him a small smile. “It’s not about my image anymore. It’s just - habit. Control, I suppose? Sometimes I have to get out of the mindset that skipping meals is… good. You know what I mean?”

“I really don’t,” he confessed. “But I do know about body issues and expectations.”

“Ah?” Elías looked at Remus, waiting, willing to listen.

It took a while for Remus to speak, the only sound between them being the ocean waves and Remus actually had to reach for the bottle of wine before he could actually talk about it, two long sips later.

“Scars,” he began, the simple word sending his hand to touch his own face, marked by them, prominent and loud. “Ever since I was a child… they’ve been part of me. In my ribcage, my chest, my hands, and… my face.”

Elías said nothing, listening to him - he wanted to say so much but Remus had to say his piece, had to let it all out before he could talk.

“I grew up watching James and Sirius… people like Frank, Peter, all of them… normal,” he whispered, turning his hands to catch every silvery snatch of his skin. “All of them with… you know -  _ normal _ things that would come to pass. That could be treated. Acne, for example, and I feel vain just thinking about the jealousy I felt every time I looked in the mirror and… saw my friends slowly growing up into complete men. Without a face like  _ mine _ .”

Remus felt choked up but he took a deep breath, feeling his lungs collapse a little bit when he turned to look at Elías, having bared a part of himself.

“I don’t just feel like a monster when I’m a wolf,” he confessed quietly. “I feel like a monster whenever I… look into a mirror. I’m marked by it, by this  _ curse _ . And I always will be - if I’ve children… if I have a partner… they’ll always have to look at  _ these _ ,” Remus whispered, hand pressing to his face, shame and hatred dripping from every word.

His fingers shook as he gripped his face and, after a second, he felt calloused fingers on his wrist, slowly pulling his hand away, Remus blinked as he realized Elías had moved in front of him, kneeling in the sand, his hair blowing with the wind, baby blues on his. 

“They’ll always have to look at them,” Elías nodded, the weight of his body falling on Remus’ right thigh. “At your scars. On your hands -”

Smaller hands grasped Remus’ fingers, touching every little mark on the backs of his hands, Remus swallowing as he watched Elías’ face, the way he never tore his blue gaze from his pale greens. 

“- on your body...” Elías continued, hands leaving Remus’ wrists to touch his collarbones, so delicately, thumb brushing the hollow of his throat and Remus felt like Elías had reached into his very lungs and taken his breath away.

“...and on your face,” Elías finished, fingers finding Remus’ jaw, slowly cupping his face, sitting so close to him, their breaths mingling. Elías’ fingers were rough from his instruments, tips calloused, textured against the loud scar cutting across Remus’ nose. 

Remus had never felt so bare.

“Remus,” Elías spoke, smiling so kindly, so gently, holding Remus’ face as if it were the most precious thing he’d ever touched and - Merlin, Remus - he -

“ _Elías_ -”

“Remus, that’s the most beautiful gift I think you could give anyone,” Elías finished, holding him still, honesty rolling off his tongue as if it were so easy to be this real. “Remus, if you ever gave anyone the  _ gift _ of your unconditional love - a child, a lover? I don’t think they’d accept it despite your scars. I think they’d accept it _because_ of them. Because they represent the kind of struggles you've had and how, even with lycanthropy, you are _right here_ \- gentle, caring, soft-spoken, academic, nurturing and kind. ”

Remus breathed hard, feeling his eyes burn.

“Your scars are beautiful,” Elías told him and Remus knew he wasn’t lying, his own hands gripping the towel underneath them both. “Remus, I don’t think you understand how much scars display the bravery that you threw so easily at me before.”

One of Elías’ hands left Remus’ face and moved to the buttons of his button-down print shirt, finishing unbuttoning it, opening it wide, letting him see two wide, long, curved scars on his chest, where he’d been cut and released of past burdens. Remus couldn’t stop himself from reaching, hands running from Elías’ hips to the scars, thumbs brushing over them, swallowing. He felt like he was being allowed something so utterly private, like he didn't deserve to see this part of Elías. 

“I’ve others,” Elías murmured, his free hand dropping to Remus’ wrist, squeezing slowly. “On my wrists. Both of them. Hidden by… ink, by things that I’ve chosen to put on my skin over them. I’ve got a scar on my eyebrow, on my head, on my lower back. I understand that they’re not visible as yours but -” he moved his hand behind Remus’ neck, the other one still holding his jaw. “Gods, Remus, if only you  _ knew  _ how beautiful you are -”

Remus choked a bit, touching Elías’ skin, his palms now gripping his waist tightly. 

“You’ve changed so much already,” Elías told him, eyes running through his, face so close. “Let yourself breathe. Let yourself understand that nobody’s closer to God for lack of scars.”

“I don’t f-feel -” Remus sucked in a sharp breath, feeling Elías’ thumb brush away some tears. “I don’t feel close to God. I never have. But I - I feel l-like I… could be,” he whispered, eyes closing as Elías leaned in, lips brushing over the biggest scar on his face. “I could if you -”

He choked again and felt Elías bring him close, Remus’ nose burrowed into Elías’ neck, arms now tight around the Slytherin, his heart in his throat. 

“I think you’re beautiful, Remus,” Elías told him quietly into the top of his head, nails digging into Remus’ hair. “I think you’re beautiful.” 

Remus’ shoulders shook, feet slipping in the sand, eyes closed, the bottle of wine forgotten as he held onto the last shred of humanity he felt he had left within Elías. And when his toes touched water, he didn’t stop. Neither of them pulled away, not even as the tide took over their ankles, their thighs, their towels and guitar and wine bottle. 

If anything, the ocean just let Remus breathe for the first time in years.


	24. Seagulls and Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering, the two songs in the chapter are the following;
> 
> Butterfly's Repose - Zabawa  
> Carried Away - Passion Pit

Elías pulled back when the water crashed against his back and Remus whimpered, the sound stuttering out of his throat before he could help it. Elías didn't let go of his hand, slowly sliding down the wet want until their bodies hit the waves, sinking into the ocean, freezing until it wasn't; cold until it was warm, all-encompassing, muting every sound around him.

When Remus opened his eyes, it was dark and it stung but he could faintly see the silhouette of Elías, keeping him under for a second, two, eight, until they both finally surfaced, making Remus realize how much it'd helped, to be within.

The water reached his collarbones but Elías spluttered a bit for a moment, giving out a small laugh, making Remus reach out to grab at him since he couldn't reach. He ended up catching his waist, pulling him closer.

"Can you breathe?" Elías asked among the roaring sound of Remus' heartbeat and the waves around them. 

"We're over the water," Remus pointed out, something obvious.

"Can you breathe now?" Elías insisted, watching him, hands sliding to rest on his shoulders and Remus… nodded, swallowing. "Good," Elías murmured. "Sometimes - sometimes a little swim can clear your head."

"We're clothed," Remus said dumbly and Elías laughed again, making him smile shakily. "I've never swam with clothes on."

"What's your verdict?" Elías asked, brushing his own soaked hair back. His makeup was running a little and Remus lifted a hand to brush a black smudge under his eye. 

"I don't mind it much," Remus confessed, feeling Elías pass his own warmth of him, close as they were. "But we - it's not going to be enough, drying them."

"I'll just throw them in the washer super quick," Elías replied, arms sliding around his neck now, holding Remus close, Remus' hands tight on his waist. "It's - a bit colder than I uh, anticipated."

"Yes," Remus replied but he didn't feel cold, Elías' face tucked against his neck and he wondered what would happen if they both just sunk to the very bottom of the sea and stayed there forever. He'd once heard a fairy tale of the sort. "Y-you want to go back?"

"No," Elías quickly murmured against Remus' neck, making him shiver. "But we can get back to my house f-for sure. Take a shower, change into something d-dry. And enjoy the rest of the night?"

"That'd be nice," Remus whispered, sighing deeply before finally letting Elías go, the two swimming back to shore.

Remus hadn't realized how deep they'd swam until he saw Elías cross easily back to the sand while he was left clumsily padding, flushing a bit and shivering as the cold breeze hit him. He probably looked like a wet dog.

A giggle made him look up after he shook his head, trying to get rid of excess water, and Elías- soaked to the bone, hair plastered all over his face - told him, "I'm so sorry, I - it's just that it's really cute how you shake your head like that."

"Like a dog, you mean?" Remus caught on, rolling his eyes a bit, catching the drenched towels and the wine bottle as Elías magically dried and cleaned his guitar before it could be damaged. "I've heard that one before."

"No, I mean - like a  _ straight  _ guy," Elías chuckled and Remus recoiled a bit, making a face, which only served to make Elías laugh harder. 

"Don't even joke about that," Remus reached to ruffle Elías mop of wet hair.

"Aw, Remus," he laughed, moving up to the boardwalk, taking his shoes as Remus did the same. "I'll lend you some pajamas while this washes, okay?"

"Sounds good," Remus hummed, his mind still a bit off from that… conversation. He was still a bit stunned, as if hit by a bludger. Elías had that effect on him - the bloke was too honest, too earnest. He'd only met one other man like that. 

When they entered  _ El Rompido _ , Elías moved to a door by the kitchen, opening it to reveal the washer and a few other cleaning supplies, throwing the towels that Remus handed him, then taking off his shirt fully, leaving him in his jeans.

Remus wished he was a stronger man but he looked - looked at his lower back first, where he saw the edge of a scar running lower. He saw stretch marks, now in the light - a lot of them, in fact, running vertically over Elías sides especially. He saw freckles and moles and a  _ lot _ of tattoos that he'd never been privy to; intricate works of art in blasting vivid colors, the one that called his attention being the one running down his spine.

The Solar System, down each knob of his vertebrae. Remus, as Elías looked at the settings, reached over and brushed his fingers through Mercury, at the base of his skull, making Elías freeze before shivering.

How exquisite, to think that Remus could have this if only he gave in. If he wanted to, he could grip Elías' chin, turn his face, kiss him. He could let it linger, savor him, touch that delicate skin on his wrists as Remus took him to bed -

"Remus?"

The werewolf blinked, watching Elías' blues as he tugged on Remus' shirt.

"I - what?" He blinked.

"I said, do you want to shower first?" 

"Right, I - yes," he nodded, sighing. "I'm sorry, I'm just -"

"All over the place, I get it," Elías finished kindly, his hand moving to squeeze Remus' shoulder. "Let me get you some dry clothes and you can go shower."

"Thank you," he murmured, following Elías deeper into the house, realizing just how strange compared to typical British architecture it was. He walked up the stairs and the steps were made of terracotta tiles, the walls painted white with mosaic accents, similar to arab architecture. He wondered if any of Elías' family was arab but the bloke was so very white, he doubted it.

"Here you go, that's the bathroom," he showed Remus to a door on the second floor, painted blue, with distorted glass at the top. This house seemed so old, so strange. "Let me get you a shirt and some sweats, yeah?"

"Do you - not want to shower first?" He asked.

"I'm used to salt sticking to me, I'll be fine," he waved it off, walking into the room closest to the stairs, the door left open for Remus to step a bit closer and look in.

Elías' bedroom, decorated much, much differently than his Hogwarts quarters, of course. The bed was huge, covered with a thousand pillows of varying blues and whites, a quilt over the bed itself, looking soft and handmade. There was a vanity and a thousand shelves filled with books and records, a record player on top of the vanity and what Remus now recognized as an altar by the window. This one had many more shells, though, and pretty rocks. 

Remus didn't fully understand Elías' spiritualism but he supported him one hundred percent and now that he was in his home, he wondered if there were other symbols around, other trinkets of spiritual value.

"Here!" The Spaniard turned around, handing Remus a huge shirt and soft sweatpants, Remus taking them a bit clumsily. “Go shower and I’ll follow after. We can sit around on the couch and relax watching TV until our clothes are washed.”

“Sounds good,” Remus nodded, actually telling the truth even though - well, he didn’t remember what a TV was. Lily had told him once but he really couldn’t recall at the moment.

When Remus closed the door of the bathroom behind him, he let out of a deep breath, eyes closing, letting his head rest against the doorframe for a moment. He was emotionally exhausted and he felt like every time he came to San Fernando with Elías, they’d end up talking about heavier things that he didn’t know if he was ready for. 

Undressing, putting his wet clothes in the sink, Remus moved under the spray of the shower and let it wash the salt and sand away, forehead falling gently on the tiles of the small space. It smelled a lot like Elías here. Everywhere he went in this house, in this town… well, of course it would. This was everything Elías was, after all. Such a different world from what he knew - different language, different perspective in life. Maybe that was why Elías had it together much more than Remus despite their age difference.

Remus closed his eyes, focusing intensely on that age difference and not on the shape of Elías’ shoulders, the dip between them, the beautiful tattoos adorning his skin. He tried to, truly did try to, but his mind drifted to what others he could find if he only… let go. 

Remus stood straight, hands running through his hair, pushing off all salt and algae, washing methodically and trying to be quick about it. Elías was waiting, soaked, and Remus didn’t want him to get sick, not so early after that Sight he’d had. So he finished, towel-dried his hair, pulled on the sweats and shirt and opened the door to hear - piano.

In the living room, when Remus walked down the stairs, he found Elías lightly playing, hair half dry by now, singing softly in Spanish. He liked the song, even if he couldn’t understand it. He hadn’t even realized the furniture where a few frames had been resting was a piano.

“Hey,” he spoke up, only because Elías was still wet. Otherwise he would’ve let him play.

Elías stopped playing, butchering the last few keys in surprise, turning to Remus and smiling at him. 

“Hey,” he stood, gesturing at the couch as he ran a hand through his wavy, seasalt hair. “I’ll be right back, you get comfortable.”

“Alright,” Remus murmured, sitting on the sofa, surprised as to how utterly cushy and comfortable it was.

He watched Elías climb up the stairs, still humming that song, and was suddenly struck with the fact that he… was getting comfortable for real. Remus shifted on the couch and laid on it, feet sticking out, watching the ceiling fan. He could still hear the sea outside, could feel… the tide if he closed his eyes. Pull and push, pull and push of his body. Behind his eyelids he saw the white houses of San Fernando as Elías drove through the bridge. And he realized just how many new memories he was making despite feeling so stuck in time. Like he couldn’t move on. Like anytime, at any moment, James, Lily and Peter would walk through any door.

It pained him to admit to himself that he’d never moved on, that he'd stood still in time with the faint hope that things would get better if he only held on to the last shreds of his humanity. But humanity wasn’t waking up everyday, going to a minimum-wage job and making sure he at least ate some rice for dinner. It wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck, blinking at the letter he wrote two years ago for his father, it wasn’t surviving.

_ “You don't have to speak, don't need to talk to me. Baby, I already know… The shadows in your head, they've got you down again, got you feelin' low… _ ”

Remus’ eyes watered, hearing the piano from upstairs, Elías’ voice, now a familiar sound that he craved in the nights when the shadows were too dark for him to bear. He waited for that voice now, after every full moon. 

“ _ But it's time to rest, now. Let it all melt now… Wipe your tears, the sun's already set, now, won't you go to sleep, now? I'll see you in your dreams… _ ”

How had it taken him so many years to realize that he couldn’t just get by day by day like that? Elías was someone who’d taken pity on him since before they’d even met, had decided to talk to him, to get to know him, to trust him,  _ him _ , Remus. He’d cleared his blood after a painful transformation, had listened to him on the beach…

“ _ 'Cause I'm right here… Darlin', I'm right here… _ ”

Remus was such a bastard. He couldn’t believe that he’d roped this man into caring for him, sitting on his lap, telling him with such conviction that he was  _ beautiful _ . Elías was surrounded by beauty - the ocean, this town, his tattoos, his family, his music… How could he think someone like Remus was beautiful?

“ _ Close your pretty eyes, my butterfly. Baby, have no fear… The future's lookin' bleak, your will to live is weak… But honey, hold on for me _ …”

Remus wanted to  _ live  _ now. He didn’t just want to survive like he’d done before - he wanted these dinners in San Fernando. He wanted to hear more Spanish, wanted to see Sirius meet Elías, wanted to see Harry safe and sound and his students thrive. At some point in the last six months, he’d just - he’d just  _ changed _ . He’d changed his perspective and he hadn’t even noticed. All because of Elías.

“ _ I know that you're an angel… But it's not your time to fly, now, we need you here on earth… _ ”

Remus could still hear the ocean and he wanted to share this so badly with Sirius. He wanted - he wanted to  _ show _ Sirius that he wasn’t the pathetic, sad man he’d let himself become. He wanted Sirius to be innocent, to be part of this growth, find this healing little corner of the world. And he wanted Sirius to like Elías. To meet Harry as a teenager. 

“ _ Stay right here… I'll stay here with you, my dear… Look up to the sky and know… I am still alive, because you want me to be… _ ”

He couldn’t have things as they’d been before but - but maybe things could still be salvaged, if only Elías touched them with a song and seawater. If only Elías held them on the beach with his wine breath and his blue-grey eyes, with those words that sunk Remus deeper into his hole of affection and hope.

Remus didn’t jump when he felt Elías’ hands on his cheeks, brushing away new tears, leaning in to kiss Remus’ scar over his nose. Remus slowly opened his eyes, finding Elías in comfortable clothes as well.

“Do you want to sit up or are you comfy like that?” he asked, not pressuring him to talk.

“I’m good like this,” Remus murmured and Elías nodded, sliding on the couch as well, pressed to Remus’ side, the werewolf immediately letting his arm move over his waist. “Do you -”

“I don’t mind,” Elías yawned, face pressed to Remus’ shoulder, wet hair tickling the inside of Remus’ arm. “Do you?”

“No,” Remus replied quietly, watching him, chest expanding when Elías smiled, closing his eyes, his hands resting against Remus’ torso. “Elías?”

“Hmm?”

“What was that song?”

“I dunno,” the Spaniard breathed, one hand opening to grip Remus’ borrowed shirt. “But I thought you’d like it. You like piano songs.”

“It was very beautiful,” Remus whispered, hand shifting to very delicately brush some hair away from Elías’ face. “Your voice…”

“Not the best,” Elías laughed, moving closer when he almost fell from the couch - Remus shifted on his side and Elías hummed happily, face pressing to Remus’ chest, his arm moving to rest over Remus’ side. “I play better than I sing.”

“I don’t know much about music,” Remus murmured, unable to stop watching his freckled face. “But… I can say I like your voice.”

Elías said nothing, the tops of his cheeks coloring, Remus’ lungs stuttering on their next breath at the sight. 

“Thank you,” Elías finally said, so very quietly, and Remus watched him fall asleep slowly, then all at once, breathing quietly, still tightly gripping his shirt.

Remus fell asleep on the couch as well, trying to keep his eyes open on one of the windows, staring at the waves outside, a sense of peace he’d never felt before washing over him like the ocean when Elías had pushed him into it.

* * *

Remus woke up in the morning with the heat of the southern Spanish sun seeping in, seagulls crying nearby. Remus blinked slowly as he came to, feeling so well-rested that he nearly went to sleep again if it wasn’t for the body half-spread on top of him, mumbling something or other as he did in his sleep. Remus should’ve pulled away, woken him up, realized that it was morning and he had a certain physiology whenever there was… a warm body pressed to him but -

Gods, Elías looked so cute.

The werewolf brushed Elías’ hair back sleepily, watching him for a moment, relishing the deep warmth of his body, realizing all of a sudden that Elías’ pelvis was pressed against his thigh and he felt - well, he felt it… flat.

Remus’ mind took a moment to catch up, to remember that Elías was  _ transgender _ and of  _ course _ there was nothing, he was absolutely fucking stupid. And he shouldn’t think about Elías’ genitals so early in the morning, especially with the bloke so close to him - no, scratch that, he should  _ never  _ think about what was below Elías’ waist, even if he desperately wanted to. No, no, _wait_ , he didn't want to - well, he _wanted_ to but he didn't want, _want_ to -

“Elías,” he rasped, hand moving to his shoulder, shaking it gently but all the Slytherin did was mumble something in Spanish and slide closer, his warm nose pressing to Remus’ neck and  _ Merlin _ , this was so nice. Cuddling was so nice. Remus enjoyed it  _ so _ much - “Elías, wake up.”

“ _Se está tan calentito..._ ” Elías whispered, hands tightening on Remus’ shirt, rubbing his cheek against his shoulder, making Remus laugh. His accent was so  _ thick _ . “B’llshit, we can stay… here all day…”

“Don’t you have to help Theodore today?” Remus asked, amused, and Elías sighed deeply, cracking one blue eye open and in this light, at this hour, it looks so fucking blue that it kind of took Remus’ breath away. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“ _ Nnngh _ ,” Elías groaned, hiding his face again on Remus’ chest. “I hate… mornings.”

“Well, it’s actually pretty late. We slept in,” Remus replied, looking at the clock on the wall. “Almost eleven.”

“We’ve got an hour…” Elías yawned, feet moving to Remus’ calf, making - kitty biscuits?

“Elías,” Remus laughed, hands moving to grip his shoulders. “We’ve to get back to the castle. We already missed breakfast and everyone’s probably wondering where we are.”

“Gods, I wanna die,” Elías complained, hand thrown over his face, rubbing it before he finally sat up, standing, stretching hard enough for Remus to see the edge of that scar on his lower back, to the left. “I’m gonna make breakfast real quick, then…”

“Do we have food for breakfast?” Remus asked, watching Elías move to the kitchen.

“I… no, we kinda don't,” Elías sighed, frustrated. “I’ve got coffee, milk, some eggs. And I’ve got uh… I can make pancakes?”

Remus perked up, sitting up and looking at Elías from over the couch. “Oh?”

“Do you like them?”

“I like anything sweet.”

“That’s why you enjoy me so much,” Elías grinned, fluttering his eyelashes and Remus laughed, watching Elías start to easily move around the kitchen, getting a scale from the upper cabinet. “Luckily, I’ve milk stored that hasn’t gone bad and a few eggs from the other night. So we’ve got enough for pancakes.”

“Do you need help?” Remus walked over to the kitchen island, leaning against it.

“Nah, I got it - do you mind if I play some music?” Elías asked, taking out bowls and a whisk, starting to measure.

“Not at all,” Remus smiled, sitting down on the stool, watching Elías work with curiosity. He’d seen him cook but not bake and Elías had mentioned that he loved baking more.

Instead of something soft and gentle for the morning, the music that began to play was upbeat, almost making Remus jump in his stool, recoiling a bit but soon began to laugh against his hand as he saw Elías bouncing along, leaving his sleepy self behind. 

“ _ Since my heart is golden, I've got sense to hold in, tempted just to make an ugly scene! _ ” Elías sang, not as well as he usually did but Remus blamed it on just waking up, delighted to just see Elías in a way that no one else back at Hogwarts could. “ _ No I'm not as proper, my money's in copper, ripped down from the brownstones to the street! _ ”

Elías spun around, using the island to start measuring everything, not looking up a recipe or anything, just measuring from the heart. Remus thought that very probably, he was about to taste the best pancakes he’d ever had.

“ _ Listen _ ,” Elías tapped his hand and Remus thought for a moment that he wasn’t singing but soon was proved wrong, grinning a bit as Elías sang directly to him. “ _ I'm your friend, don't quote me, but not a friend worth noting. Yes, please don't ever note me as your friend! _ ” he began to pour the flour in first. “ _ Who says we have cold hearts? Acting out our old parts. Dance before my favorite little scene, oh oh oh oh _ !”

Remus avoided a puff of flour as Elías danced back to the cabinets to put the bag back in place, singing loudly.

“ _ I get carried away, carried away, from you! When I'm open and afraid ‘cause I'm sorry! Sorry 'bout that! Sorry 'bout things that I've said! Always let it get in my way… _ ”

Remus felt his mood light up even further, the sunshine so potent even in February and the beat of the song making his foot move along to it, watching Elías proceed with the milk, the eggs, the sugar, yeast and salt.

“ _ All your appeal, once again we'd feel higher education making sense. Justify your thesis, certain that you need this, tell me what your point is in defense _ .”

The werewolf followed Elías with his eyes, his cheeks hurting, looking as the Spaniard whisked the liquid mixture first and kept singing, their eyes meeting. This felt a bit ridiculous but Elías seemed to be having way too much fun for Remus to want to ruin that.

“ _ Listen - I don't really know you and I don't think I want to, but I think I can fake it if you can! Let's agree there's no need, no more talk of money, let's just keep pretending to be friends, oh oh oh! _ ”

Remus wished he knew the song as the chorus began again, watching him dance, wishing for a bit of shamelessness and energy that he’d never possessed. The full moon approaching let him be a bit loose but he never wanted to test it.

“ _Wake up in the morning, wake up in the evening_ ,” Elías sang, dumping the dry ingredients by thirds on the bowl and starting to mix again. “ _Wake up when you want to, ‘cause no one's really watching -_ _Wish you had something to say about it._ ”

Remus blinked as Elías moved to him, gripping his wrist, pulling him off the stool to the middle of the kitchen.

_ “But we all have problems, we're all having problems, and we all got something to say! _ ” he laughed, pulling the Gryffindor in and, before Remus knew it, he was… dancing.

Dancing in the kitchen, with Elías, in southern Spain as he cooked pancakes to a song that very probably didn’t exist yet.

“ _I get carried away!_ ” Elías had a way of dancing, a way of pulling Remus in that just let him dance along to whatever move he carried. “C _arried away, from you_ _when I'm open and afraid -_ ” Remus laughed, unable to help it, taking Elías’ other hand and spinning him around, the Spaniard almost falling against the kitchen island, giggling loudly. “ _'Cause I'm sorry, sorry 'bout that! Sorry 'bout things that I've said! Always let it get in my way - I get carried away!_ ”

Remus stumbled, tripping on his two left feet but Elías seemed to not care at all, fingers still entwined with his, making Remus spin around this time, his leg kicking out, feet sliding on the mosaic tiles of the kitchen and Remus’ head was spinning with the amount of laughter bursting from his lungs, the way he tried to copy Elías, not really caring about how ridiculous he looked.

“ _ When I'm open and afraid, 'Cause I'm sorry! Sorry 'bout that! _ ” he sang along, having learned at least the chorus, his voice a parody of what Elías could produce but the smile that it brought on his bubblegum lips made it so worth it. “ _ Sorry 'bout things that I've said - always let it get in my way - _ ”

The lyrics stopped, music starting to slow to a stop and Remus quickly gripped the island to support himself before he could fall over Elías, the two adults laughing hard, Remus’ arms caging Elías while the Spaniard muffled his giggles on Remus’ shoulder.

“You danced!” he told Remus, eyes so bright that Remus almost took his face right then and kissed him. He held back, clearing his throat, flushing. “That was great! No, no, don’t be embarrassed! Dancing in the kitchen as you bake is great!”

“I can see that now,” Remus chuckled, standing straight, running a hand through his messy hair, which he was sure the entirety of school would somehow know that he’d used Elías’ shampoo. Smelled like lavenders. “Do you do this often?”

“Oh yeah,” Elías nodded, taking the whisk and bowl again, going back to actually making their breakfast. “I  _ always _ dance in the kitchen. Best dance floor ever made.”

“I wouldn’t have believed you until now,” Remus confessed, giving Elías a wide grin. “I - sort of needed that, I think.”

“You keep saying this about basic stuff, Remus,” Elías told him, eyes turning a bit sad. “Sitting down and watching the sea, having dinner with a friend, cuddling on a couch, dancing, singing…”

“I’m not… an adventurous man anymore,” Remus looked down at the floor but Elías stepped close enough for him to lift his gaze.

“I can fix that,” he told Remus, his earnest honesty shining again and Remus let himself lean in and kiss Elías’ forehead, one of the little pleasures he allowed himself. “Hm. Like it when you do that. Dunno where it came from but I approve.”

“Mhmm,” was all Remus said against the skin of his forehead, Elías’ hair tickling his nose. “How’s it coming along?”

“I’m basically done, it’s super easy to make,” Elías hummed, tapping the whisk against the bowl before covering the mix real quick, putting it inside the fridge. “I’ll just start heating the pan and we’re good.”

“I’ll make some coffee,” Remus told him, grabbing Elías’ French press, looking for the coffee by opening a cabinet and blinking when he saw everything on the lower shelf. He looked down at Elías, snorting, and the Slytherin glared. “Sho -”

“If you call me short,” Elías warned, taking out silicone spatula. “I will punch your teeth in and watch you shit them for seven weeks.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Remus laughed, leaning against the counter as he opened the box of coffee, smelling it before pausing. “Oh, this is  _ good _ coffee.”

“Pa was gifted a bag of Colombian coffee and I’ve never had anything else since,” Elías told him, grinning. “He always gets extra for me.”

“Who gifted him Colombian coffee?” Remus asked, curious, starting to pour it into the press. 

“His Colombian coworker - he works at NATO, as I said, so he’s got a lot of international coworkers,” Elías hummed, opening the fridge to get the mix. It hadn’t cooled enough but like, fuck it, he was hungry and surely Remus was, too. 

“So your father is… a businessman?” Remus guessed and Elías blinked, turning to Remus. “Alright, apparently not.”

“NATO is the organization made after World War II, the Muggle Great War? The second one?” he told Remus, who shook his head, not knowing what he was talking about. “Christ almighty, Remus, what the fuck do they  _ teach _ you before you go to Hogwarts?”

“I knew there were two wars,” he told Elías. “But nothing about that organization. Is it military, then?”

“Closely tied with it,” Elías told him. “Certain European countries, most of Europe, actually, is part of NATO. They all… defend each other from external attacks. The united States is part of it, and mostly they fuck over the European countries, but - yeah,” he laughed a bit. “It’s why I have an American accent - my pa’s in the navy.”

“Oh,” Remus’ eyes widened, thinking of that man with bright blue eyes playing guitar with his son, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. He’d seemed so jovial, so… unlike what he’d thought muggle soldiers looked like. “He doesn’t seem like one?”

“Spanish military is very different from what the stereotype of the military is,” Elías shrugged. “Our military force is defensive, never offensive - at least since the dictatorship ended, and we mostly just deal with terrorism and intervene in natural disasters. My pa has worked a lot against the Colombian drug cartels,” he explained, making Remus hum, surprised, heating the water on the French press to make the coffee. “It was one of the options I had, you know?”

“Oh?” Remus turned to Elías, watching him make a face.

“I… decided to go to Hogwarts instead. But I was really close to going to the navy.”

“ _ You _ ?” Remus was so utterly surprised. “Muggle navy? Why?”

“I dunno,” Elías sighed. “To help people, I guess. I admire my father a lot - but I could never really… follow orders, so I wouldn’t have been able to stay, I think. And pa knew it. He told me that sometimes, I’d be given orders that would go against my moral code. That’s when I chose Hogwarts. Besides, being at Hogwarts… it would mean Dumbledore’s protection from the Carrows.”

“Right,” Remus murmured, watching Elías, feeling like he’d just discovered something deeply revealing about Elías but not being able to pinpoint exactly what it was. “What about auror?”

“A  _ wizard cop _ ?” he turned to Remus, nearly gagging. “No, thank you, if I wanted to taste leather, I’d just bite into it.”

Remus laughed, shaking his head, “Alright, maybe being a bootlicker isn’t the best thing for you -”

“The Ministry of Magic in England is  _ so corrupt _ , I’d rather shoot myself on the foot before joining the fucking wizard cops,” Elías said strongly, making Remus smile, arms crossing.

“Sirius thought the same thing,” he told Elías, making the Spaniard turn to him as he flipped a pancake. “James suggested it - in the way that, you know, teenagers think of possible jobs and Sirius nearly swallowed his wand just to make a point.”

“Sirius sounds like one of mine,” Elías grinned.

“Anarchist?” Remus guessed.

“Anti-capitalist, anarcho-syndicalist,” Elías threw him some finger guns and Remus rolled his eyes fondly, starting to look for mugs. “Bet he was all leather jackets and  _ eat the rich _ .”

“He’s rich,” Remus pointed out.

“Eat the rich implies the multi-millionaires, Remus, not the upper middle class,” Elías replied. “It’s about the one percent.”

“Being political after just waking up wasn’t my idea of a Sunday morning,” Remus laughed, then paused. “But he  _ was _ an anarchist, I gotta say.”

“Peak '77,” Elías hummed, finishing the last pancake before putting the plate in the middle of the kitchen island, grinning at Remus. “Let me get some syrup and we can dig in - or do you want me to go off about late-stage capitalism?”

“I think you better save that for when you actually meet Sirius,” Remus laughed, passing him and mug and sitting down on the stool, heart in his throat when he looked at Elías’ back and thought for a moment that maye Sirius and Elías were  _ too _ similar.


	25. Roses and Pomegranates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Make sure you read the last chapter because I updated twice. Because of Nullum_Nocte_10. Thank you for the incredible comments.
> 
> Song is Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up by Barry White, an absolute classic and if you're curious, the movie Elias is talking about is Baby Driver, A MOVIE EVERYONE SHOULD GO SEE. I'm studying cinema, I know what I'm doing.

Elías, on Friday afternoon, after making sure that Remus was sleeping peacefully without injuries after the full moon, began to walk to the dungeons with purpose, passing by some Slytherins that wished him luck. He smiled at them, thankful for their support, waving at Gregory and Pansy as they passed by him -

"Professor Fernández!" Pansy called, making him pause, turning around to look at her. 

"Hey," he smiled, letting the students approach. "Is there anything you need?"

"Just wanted to say thank you, sir," Gregory told him, brow furrowed. "Uh… Theo's been doing much better now."

"Yes, we - wanted to thank you," Pansy said softly, her hands gripping her robes tightly, looking serious. "You've no idea how much - how much you've helped."

"We'll, I'm glad to hear that," Elías confessed, feeling a bit lighter, watching the kids with a bit of fondness. "I don't ever want to see Theodore like that again. Or any of my students. So if you ever have a problem, please don't be afraid of coming to me for advice or - just to talk, alright?"

"Thank you," Gregory repeated, his hand moving to Pansy's arm as she stayed quiet. "Pans?"

"Y-yes. Let's go," she murmured, watching Elías with hesitation before following her friend. The Astronomy professor stood there for a moment, watching, wondering what these kids were still keeping to themselves. He had to get to the potions classroom, though, but his mind lingered on Pansy's eyes, the way Gregory had hastily pulled on her arm, looking scared.

When he knocked on the door, Severus met him, opening it, watching Elías impassive for a moment before stepping aside, letting him in. Elías did not make faces or smirked at him, professionally keeping his loud mouth shut, stepping to the cauldron.

He began to pull out his notes for the potion, hearing Severus close the door while Elías hummed the latest song stuck in his head. Stepping closer, Severus paused in front of the cauldron just as Elías finished, realizing that the dungeons smelled strongly of roses.

Severus, in front of him, had a loud bunch of red and white roses, setting them down on the table, making Elías' face light up. They smelled so  _ good _ and he was unable to stop himself from carefully taking them and burying his face on the soft petals, grinning.

"I'm guessing these came from Pomona?" He grinned, pulling back to look at Severus.

"Indeed," he cleared his throat, eyes moving down the thorny stems of the flowers. "Be careful, the thorns are quite big in this batch. In any case, you've got freshly picked roses and, shall you need more, Sprout let me know that you could go pick them yourself."

"How nice of her," Elías set the flowers down, smiling softly. "Roses aren't my favorite flowers but these look so well taken care of and they smell so nice."

"Roses aren't a smell I care for," Severus replied and Elías shrugged.

"Valid. What's your favorite smell, then?"

"Pardon?" Severus blinked, taken off guard. 

"Smell. Flowers," Elías said slowly, watching the other Slytherin, waving his hand at the roses. "My favorite are lavenders. What's your favorite?"

"You've no  _ time  _ for idle  _ talk _ ," Severus suddenly snapped, making Elías jump a little, not having expected it. "You start now!"

"Now?" Elías laughed.

" _ Now _ !"

"Geez," he mumbled, lighting the fire under the medium golden cauldron and filling it with freshwater. "Someone's sensitive today," he smirked a bit. "Might I suggest a timeout on your knees?"

Severus' cheeks ignited much like the fire below, turning on his heel to walk hastily to his desk, leaving Elías alone. Good. If he was going to be so grumpy and unpleasant, it was better for Elías. With that in mind, he began to play some music - Edith Piaf, French filling the room. He might not like the language but the music was certainly something to behold.

_ La Vie en Rose _ began to pay and Severus let out a grunt from his desk, making Elías laugh, grinning widely, “Hey, we’re brewing love potions, I thought it was appropriate.”

“Are you going to be playing love songs all week?” Severus asked, face sour as he began to prepare a brew of his own - Elías didn’t know what he’d make but he sure was curious about it. 

“I mean -” Elías chuckled, starting to pour in the copious amounts of sugar that the potion required, stirring gently. “I’m going to be playing  _ good _ songs that just so happen to be about love.”

“Do enlighten me,” Severus said dryly, his small cauldron filling with water from his wand, long fingers reaching for mint. Ah, Pepper Up. Probably for Pomona.

“This is  _ La Vie en Rose _ ,” Elías explained, humming along before singing the chorus, using his magic to keep the mix stirring while he began to pluck out the petals from about ten roses, half white and half red. “ _ Quand il me prend dans ses bras! Il me parle tout bas, je vois la vie en rose… Iiiil me dit des mots d'amour! Des mots de tous les jours! Et ca me fait quelque chose… _ ”

“You speak French?” Severus frowned, looking up.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” Elías nodded, taking one of the petals and eating it, enjoying the fresh taste, his lips staining with red. “I lived in Belgium, some time ago. Even went to school there before I went to Hogwarts.”

“I did not know,” Severus told him, watching Elías’ mouth with a deeper frown. “What are you  _ doing _ ?”

“I like the taste,” Elías defended. “I use them on salads.”

“ _ What _ .”

“You’re just boring,” Elías stuck his tongue out at him, tainted a deep rouge just like the center of his lips, starting to drop the petals in handful by handful. “But yeah, this is Edith Piaf and this is considered one of the most romantic songs ever made.”

“By muggles?”

Elías wrinkled his nose and looked up, ready to fight Severus if he saw a scowl but instead, he found Severus looking at him as his Pepper Up cooked slowly. 

“Yes, I suppose by muggles,” Elías nodded and Severus simply raised his eyebrows. “What? You don’t think so?

“The song is acceptable,” Severus told him, seemingly hesitating before he continued to speak. “I enjoy older songs.”

“Oh?” Elías blinked, surprised that he was even talking about himself. “Do tell me what songs you enjoy!”

“Not many,” Severus sighed, starting to cut the mandrake root with precision, his knife work impeccable, making Elías look enchanted at the process. Gods, if he only was half as good as Severus when making potions… “I don’t usually listen to music.”

“That’s a crime,” Elías told him, the song fading away as it finished. “I’m listening to music all the time. I can’t sleep without music, without some kind of noise in the background,” he confessed, looking at the potion before starting to take off more petals from the flowers on his desk. 

“Sounds awful.”

“ _ You’re _ awful.”

Severus looked up at him, cocking an eyebrow and Elías returned the gesture, eating another petal just to piss Severus off. The potions master this time just returned to his own brew, not even giving Elías a tiny bit of satisfaction. Very well.

_ Put Your Head On My Shoulder _ was next, because Elías was in the mood for oldies - and because he was curious to see if Severus knew any of the songs. Severus did not react to this one and Elías focused on watching his cauldron as the concoction turned slowly into a lovely pink color, the sugar making it smell absolutely wonderful. Elías grabbed a stool, sitting down comfortably, stirring it gently while he sang along to the song. 

This one, he had a bit of a bias with - his father and mother danced a lot to this song. On Christmas, the two of them would hold each other close and dad would sing along into mom’s ear, making Elías and Elena watch with smiles. Last Christmas had been no different and he thought fondly of the way Alex had asked Elena to dance with him as well, how everyone in the family had been guessing yet another wedding on the horizon. All of his older cousins were getting married, lately.

He sighed a bit, the song turning to  _ Your Song _ by Elton John. It wasn’t older but Elías had just thought of it and he wanted to hear it, knowing all the lyrics by heart, happy to see that he could move on to the arnica syrup, walking to the supply closet past Severus to grab the pink tinted bottle where it was kept, passing by only to notice from the corner of his eye, behind the desk, Severus’ foot moving along to the beat.

It was the stupidest, most simple gesture - anyone would do it, it was  _ Elton John _ . But - but it was also Severus and before Elías could help it, he grinned widely, singing a bit louder, resting his hand on the desk and going on his tiptoes to pour the syrup, a good two spoonfuls by eye. He’d need more but Elías wanted it to dissolve before he added anything else. 

The first two hours or so of potion making was just that - brewing in a relaxed state, nothing volatile added yet, the songs that he played testing Severus. Elías hadn’t realized how much he’d missed spending time in the dungeons, brewing the potions until he was three hours in, watching Severus finish the Pepper Up, working with practiced movements to pour the potion into different vials for consumption.

By now, Elías was playing Elvis,  _ Burning Love _ his song of choice. It was his favorite of the artist and he was showing it thoroughly, moving his head almost and spinning a bit as he took the rose thorns and dropped them into the cauldron.

“ _ It's coming closer, the flames are reaching my body! Please won't you help me, I feel like I'm slipping away! It's hard to breathe and my chest is a-heaving! _ ”

“Stop dancing and pay attention! This is Amortentia!” Severus snapped at Elías, who gave a laugh.

“Aw, you’re being a stick in the mud,” the Slytherin told him.

“The explosion this potion can make  _ will _ hurt you,” Severus scolded him, making Elías sigh. “I know you’ve the sense of self-preservation of a Gryffindor on  _ crack _ but you truly can’t -”

“I’m sorry,” Elías said softly, lowering the sound of the music. “I  _ am _ being careful. But I also enjoy brewing this, Severus, and we’re going to be here a long time before I have to let it ferment. I thought I’d have a little fun.”

“I will not have you bleeding all over me again,” Severus stood, moving to look at the Amortentia, blinking slowly. “That’s…”

“Stable? Yeah,” Elías shrugged. “I used less water from the beginning, that way if it’s less liquid, I’ll be able to control it better. This is the last potion and I don’t want to blast my face either, Severus.”

Severus watched the mixture with a strange look on his face, turning to Elías with a frown before going back to the cauldron, making a frustrated noise.

“Just -” Severus grunted, looking annoyed. “ _ Why _ did you have to give up Advanced Potions? You’re - you’re  _ good _ at this.”

“We already know how this goes,” Elías told him a bit dryly, frowning deeply at him, arms crossed. “Honestly, just - don’t ever ask me again.”

“It frustrates me to no end -”

“Well, it frustrates  _ me  _ too,” Elías snapped, making Severus look up at him. “I loved potions. I  _ love _ potions, still. Brewing here was the most fun I had in a while but  _ you _ always have to put your fucking foot in your mouth, just as I begin to enjoy talking to you again.”

Severus pursed his lips, having at least the decency to look slightly ashamed, reaching for the ladle and sinking it into the potion, testing the texture. Elías just worked from the table, taking the powdered Moonstone and Rose Quartz before hip-checking Severus, moving him slightly to the left, enough so that Elías could drop the next ingredients.

Severus stepped aside, but not too far, and Elías raised the volume of the music, deciding to play  _ Mamma Mia  _ by Abba, just to be obnoxious. Severus didn’t react this time, either, handing Elías the ladle so that the Spaniard could continue.

The powdered stones had the first big effect on the potion, turning it into a shimmering, beautiful marbled canvas of iridescent pink, making Elías blink at it. How pretty. It also smelled like burned caramel, funnily enough.

“Did you prepare the -”

“Alihotsy leaves? Yes,” he nodded, tapping a bowl where the leaves had been soaking past hour. “Be careful, don’t get close to these unless you wanna giggle for an hour - I already mixed them with the essence of Daisyroot.”

“Ah, that’s certainly easier to incorporate, then,” Severus nodded, arms crossing, looking at the fire. “It’s too low.”

“I’m taking my time,” Elías replied, huffing, stirring clockwise seven times, counterclock six and repeat. 

“It’s almost eleven thirty and you haven’t eaten dinner,” Severus pointed out, frowning.

“I have some food right here,” Elías joked, patting the roses only to flinch. “Ow!”

Severus sighed deeply, moving to Elías’ side, about to grab his wrist when he paused, making Elías’ eyebrows shoot up. The two of them stood there for a moment, Abba playing, cauldron bubbling, Severus’ deep coal eyes finding Elías’. 

He hesitated. And Elías was  _ reeling _ .

Severus hadn’t just  _ grabbed him _ . Two weeks ago, he probably would have, even if Elías complained and tried to pull away. Yes, the gesture was to check his wound, even tiny as it was, but it was still  _ forceful _ , like Severus had been his entire life - thinking he knew better, he did better, and he could do as he pleased because of it.

But instead, this time, Severus lifted his hand, palm up, looking at Elías, “May I?” he asked, Elías just  _ staring _ for a moment, eyes wide as saucers. “check your wound,” Severus added, clearing his throat, obviously uncomfortable with the silence that ensued.

“A-ah, yes,” he nodded, his hand moving to rest over Severus’.

The other professor was careful, more careful than he’d ever been with anyone -  _ ever _ . Elías’ head was spinning at the change, trying to make sense of it, watching Severus turn Elías’ tattooed hand around and inspecting the deep puncture wound on his finger, bleeding slowly. With a little hum, he moved Elías’ hand over the cauldron and tapped the back of his injured finger, a drop of blood falling onto the mixture.

Immediately, a puff of smoke ensued in the vague shape of a heart, swirling pink around Severus’ and Elías’ hands before the potions master took out his wand and murmured a simple healing spell, closing the wound.

“All good,” he finished, nodding at Elías, letting him have his hand back.

“Thank you,” Elías murmured, honest. He felt frozen on the spot, the fumes from the potion surrounding him with a too-sweet smell. Elías could almost taste it. 

“Will you eat dinner, now?” Severus asked him, now more serious, arms crossing over his chest and Elías, who had brought this man down to his knees just a few days back, gave a little nervous laugh.

“You kidding? I’ve to keep an eye on this, I do  _ not _ trust myself to leave Amortentia unattended. Heat problems are my biggest weakness.”

“We’ll work on that,” Severus hummed before nodding. “I’ll bring dinner, then.”

“Ah, wha -  _ oh no _ , it’s okay! It’s fine!” he quickly tried to say, catching Severus’ sleeve, the professor turning to him with a cocked eyebrow. “Listen, skipping dinner isn’t the end of the world. Yesterday I ate like a pig at dinner -”

“Yesterday you were not at dinner,” Severus cut him off, making Elías blink.

“I - I wasn’t?” he asked, suddenly confused before remembering. “Oh. Oh right! No, that was Wednesday. Yesterday I had that meeting with Lucille’s parents -”

“So you didn’t eat dinner yesterday, either?” Severus’ features crisped. “ _ Elías - _ ”

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” Elías told him, checking on the potion before stirring a bit harder, upping the intensity of the fire. “I’m alright, okay? I’ll just have a big breakfast -”

“I will be right back,” Severus cut in, turning on his heels before walking out of the dungeons, leaving Elías flailing his arms in front of his potion, trying to catch his attention but only catching more smoke from the potion, now smelling so much of roses that it was insane. 

Elías stepped back from it, letting it repose as was needed - the smoke needed the clear before he could work on it and because Severus had dropped his blood earlier, it meant that he also had to add the pomegranate earlier. He walked over to the bowl where all the fresh fruits were, taking the pomegranate, thinking of the way… the way Severus had held his hand.

So - gentle. Delicate. He’d never touched Elías like that - Elías had never seen him use that sort of touch with anyone. Not even Draco, a kid whom he had a lot of love for. He gripped and moved and shook the thirteen year old like any Godfather would, honestly, but -

Elías let Barry White play next, after half an hour of chopping chocolate, appropriate for handling the aphrodisiacs, thinking that all he could compare Severus’ gesture to was the way he handled potion ingredients. Elías leaned against the table a little, bowl in his lap, knife working on the pomegranate next as he bit his lip, trying not to think about how much he recalled of Severus working with potions -

Gods, but the man was a  _ genius _ . He’d done so much research, had put out so many important papers on the state of potion-making in England, he was the youngest British man to achieve potion mastery and he’d done a fucking Pepper Up potion in  _ three hours _ . In front of Elías! It was hard not to admire the man and Elías maybe was a potions nerd and maybe wanted to impress Severus whenever he was in front of a cauldron - failing pathetically, apparently. 

_ “Whatever, whatever, _ ” he sang along with Barry White’s deep voice. He loved this song so much, had seen it in a Sight when he was around sixteen, from a movie that hadn’t come out yet, a diner scene. He’d been so glad to find the song already out and about. “ _ Girl, I'll do it… Forever and ever, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you through it… _ ”

It was so disappointing that someone like Severus was behind it all; that intelligence, the book on the dragon ingredient industry, the scalding critiques of the Ministry’s handling of basilisk poison, the changes to current amethyst cauldrons…  _ He _ had done that, someone who had taught him through school and yet he had discouraged Elías in his teenage years so thoroughly that he hadn’t brewed since Sixth Year in any serious way. Not like he was now.

“ _ I've got to keep you pleased in every way I can, _ ” Elías sang softly, wanting to hear Barry White above it. The beat was slow and addicting. “ _ Gonna give you all of me as much as you can stand…” _

Elías sighed a bit, wondering if Severus had actually listened to him, if Severus  _ would _ change from now on - he didn’t just want it to be towards himself, towards Elías. He wanted it to be towards the rest of the world. Severus was an extremely intelligent and talented man and it felt so utterly disappointing that he was that harsh, that angry, that miserable. 

“ _ Make love to you right now, that's all I want to do. I know you need it, girl, and you know I need it, too… _ ”

Maybe the kneeling thing  _ had _ made him see the light? Elías recalled the face Severus had made, the color of his face, how he’d stuttered over the apology. Of course, it only meant that Elías had taken him off-guard. He wasn’t a fool, he knew that overtly played confidence could get him very far, but not far enough. Elías really had thought that all he’d done was teach Severus a humility lesson but if the man had actually  _ asked _ for consent -  _ fuck _ , that was huge.

“ _ 'Cause I found what the world is searching for… here, right here, my dear, I don't have to look no more… _ ”

The thought was nice - that Elías could help Severus develop into a better man. He had obviously been guided by less than decent people, if what Remus had told him was true. He didn’t know much about Severus’ past, had never been shown much of that except glimpses of that Malfoy Manor Sight. If Severus began to be marked more by these moments with Elías than those moments being damaged by others… maybe there  _ was _ some hope.

“ _ And all my days, I've hoped and I've prayed… For someone just like you to make me feel the way you do - _ ”

The door of the classroom opened and in case Severus with a floating platter behind him. It didn’t seem to be a proper dinner but there were finger foods that Elías could easily eat while manipulating the potion, making him feel thankful. Severus had  _ brought him dinner _ . Gods. Maybe he had to make people kneel more often.

“Thanks,” Elías smiled before singing while he poured the pomegranate seeds over the still lightly smoking potion. “ _ Never, never gonna give you up! I'm never, ever gonna stop! Not the way I feel about you, girl, I just can't live without you… _ ”

He looked up as Severus set the platter on the table, away from the poisonous, raw ingredients - only to see his lips move, making Elías  _ freeze. _

“ _ I'm never ever gonna quit 'cause quittin' just ain't my shtick. I'm gonna stay right here with you and do all the things you want me to _ ,” Severus mouthed along to the song and Elías grinned widely, so satisfied that he’d found it, he’d found it!

“Ah-ha! Barry White!” he pointed at Severus, the potions professor looking up with a bit of a caught look. “You were mouthing along!”

“ _ Whatever you want _ …”

“He was my mother’s favorite,” he explained, moving closer to the cauldron, checking it with the ladle, the pomegranate seeds shining like gold inside it. “I listened to him a lot when I was younger.”

“He’s  _ great _ ,” Elías gushed, grinning widely. “I can’t believe it, I found the artist that you like!”

“ _ Girl, you got it _ …”

“I enjoy others,” Severus shrugged, leaning back. “It’s very concentrated.”

“Told you I hadn’t poured as much water,” Elías replied, taking a piece of cut banana and popping it into his mouth, grabbing the knife again to make sure the chocolate was chopped well enough. “I’ll pour it later.”

“ _ And whatever you need… I don't want to see you without it… _ ”

“It looks good, though,” Severus told him, lifting the ladle and letting the mixture ooze back down, eyes flickering through it. “I’ve never seen Amortentia done this way but I trust your judgement.”

Elías nearly off his finger, eyes wide, head snapping to Severus, who was still mouthing the lyrics.

“ _ You've given me much more than words could ever say… And oh, my dear, I'll be right here until my dying day _ ,” he mouthed along, making Elías pause, suddenly putting two and two together about this song and what it meant for Severus, slowly approaching the cauldron so Severus wouldn’t stop, pouring in the chocolate, the mixture turning less shimmery, more matte. “ _ I don't know just how to say all the things I feel. I just know that I love you so and it gives me such a thrill… _ ”

“This song is so good,” Elías hummed, making Severus nod, a bit distracted as he checked the state of the Alihotsy leaves, just in case they were starting to fume. “But kinda creepy.”

Severus’ face snapped up, frowning deeply,  _ personally offended _ and oh boy, this conversation was gonna be good, huh?

“ _ What _ .” the man said lowly, voice a bit dangerous. Yep, a fun conversation.

“You know,” Elías shrugged. “I mean, the song is incredible  _ if _ you assume that the love is mutual, right?”

“You can like this song even if the feelings are not reciprocated -”

“I ain’t ever gonna quit?” Elías cut him off a bit, stirring the potion, realizing that in concentrating it, he had to work more with his arm. “Like - I’m all for never giving up on friends and working forward with your relationships but this is the same theme that’s always seemed really awful to me - men feeling like they are doing women a service by chasing them endlessly.”

Severus watched him, looking angry but also  _ caught _ . He was flushing furiously, staring at the bowl of soaked leaves, gripping the table so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“Just as an example,” Elías tried another route, even though he didn’t want to go there but… well, if he gave a little, maybe Severus would as well. “I’d love it if this song was sung by you know, my  _ huge  _ crush whom we both know is sleeping peacefully on the fifth floor. But how do you think he’d feel if  _ I _ sang this to him after he’d rejected me?”

“I think he rejected you because he knows you’re out of his league,” Severus stated dryly, making Elías recoil a little, as if slapped. “He denied you because he’s a  _ lycanthrope _ . He’s a  _ mons - _ ”

The slap echoed hard in the room, Elías’ eyes wild with rage, his hand moving from turning Severus’ cheek to resting on the table, lips pursed. The song had stopped abruptly at that and Elías didn’t care to pick it up. Damn that song. And damn Severus for being a bigoted  _ asshole _ .

“Do  _ not _ ever call Remus a monster. _ Ever. _ ” Elías said slowly as Severus turned his face back to the other Slytherin. “If you want to talk about monsters, then let’s talk about the predatory behavior of men never taking a fucking  _ no _ for an answer because they think women don’t know what they want - when they know  _ perfectly  _ what they want.”

“The song is not that -”

“I’m not talking about the song,” Elías snapped, glaring, making Severus fall quiet. “I’m talking about you.”

“Don’t go th -”

“I  _ am _ going there,” Elías replied, taking the water and starting to liquify the potion more, smoke lifting. When he finished, he began to stir again, wanting the water to incorporate. “Because I know very well that she loved another man.”

Severus turned around, hand moving to his face and Elías didn’t see his expression but he saw the way his hands shook. Someone had to tell him this, though. Was it Elías’ business? No, probably no. But nobody else was going through the effort of telling Severus  _ not _ to chase ghosts of the past. 

“Potter followed her like a  _ lost puppy _ ,” Severus hissed over the bubbling of the potion, Elías stirring a bit harder. “He pulled on her hair, called her names, made fun of her intelligence, her compassion, and she -”

“James Potter  _ grew out of it _ ,” Elías explained, frowning deeply, throwing in the bowl with the leaves, hearing the potion fizz, stirring at the same speed as he spoke. “He gave her space, he gave up trying to chase her, he  _ respected  _ her in the end, that’s why they fell in love the way they did! Because she saw him change!”

“ _ I saw her change _ !” Severus turned around, eyes red, approaching Elías, pressing a finger against Elías’ chest, making the muggleborn drop the stirring stick, resting against the golden cauldron lip. “I saw her - I -” he ran a hand through his jet black hair, voice cracking. “I met her  _ before  _ we went to Hogwarts, I saw her grow! I was there for it! And she was there for me!”

“You’re not entitled to her just because you were her friend for longer!” Elías snapped.

“We were more than just simple friends!” Severus told him, desperately, his hands finding Elías’ shoulders and shaking them. “You  _ don’t understand _ ! I was there when Petunia left her! I was there when she was sorted! When her dog died! When her  _ father  _ died!”

“Severus, you were just  _ friends _ ,” Elías told him, trying to make him  _ see _ , the two professors not noticing the shaking of the cauldron. “She didn’t  _ owe you anything _ !”

“But it was  _ me _ ! Not him!” Severus pressed, eyes shining, Elías’ heart breaking a little as he drew in a stuttering breath, having never seen Severus so emotional but he had to understand that this was  _ wrong _ . “Why’d she have to look at him?! Why did she have to leave me for  _ him _ ?!”

“ _ You called her a fucking mudblood! _ ” Elías threw his face into the space between them, making Severus recoil a little, hands loosening enough for Elías to slap them away, pointing his finger at Severus’ face. “You talk about her like she was a prize to be won when the only prize is the fucking  _ priviledge  _ to have known her! And James knew that! And he let her know that she wasn’t just  _ something he wanted _ , she was someone he admired! Someone whose opinion he cherished! Chasing her would’ve done nothing! And James understood that! You never did!”

“But I  _ loved _ her!” Severus croaked out.

“LOVE ISN’T SELFISH!” Elías shouted, gripping the front of Severus’ tunic,  _ desperately _ trying to let him know, eyes wide,  _ needing him to get it, understand it _ . “Love is  _ good _ !” he insisted. “Love is kind and patient! Love is wanting the best thing for them, even when it’s not what you want! Love is letting people go so they can be happy! Love is rethinking your entire life, your entire education, just so you can make sure that your child is safe! That they’re happy! Love is realizing that sometimes, you’ve got to let go! Love is James choosing to leave Lily alone and speak to her like he would with anyone else! Love is the way James moved in front of the door to let Lily and Harry live! Love is the way Lily gave her life for her son, whom you bully and insult and  _ hate _ !” he felt Severus’ heavy breaths under his hands fisted around his clothes and Elías was shaking too, furious, eyes full of tears. “Love is  _ not _ the expectation of reciprocity just because you’ve  _ feelings _ ! Love is not the obsession that drives you to the ground! Love isn’t being unable to take a no for an answer! Love isn’t raping the boy who asked to be your friend and doing it over and over and OVER AGAIN BECAUSE HE WAS CHOKING AGAINST THE FLOOR HARD ENOUGH TO BE INCAPABLE OF SAYING  _ NO _ !”

“ _ Elías -” _

“WHEN PEOPLE SAY NO,” Elías sobbed, over the deafening sound of the bubbling cauldron. “IT’S A FUCKING  _ NO! _ ”

Then -

Elías felt Severus wrap his arms around his head, pulling him against his chest, rapidly dropping to the ground before the explosion took place, making everything go absolutely quiet for a moment. Elías felt the wave, the bits of half-made Amortentia raining on them both, a burning smell taking over. Elías blinked against the dark tunic Severus wore, ears ringing from the explosion, Severus’ arms going slack and Elías sat back, trying to focus his vision and failing for a couple of seconds.

“Elías?” he heard, muted, and the Spaniard blinked several times before Severus came to focus, a cut over his jaw, his fingers snapping in front of him. “Elías, that potion was infused with your blood, I need you to speak so I know you’re alright.”

“I smell it,” Elías breathed, voice raw. He didn’t feel hurt, Severus had turned them so the explosion wasn’t - “ _ I smell blood  _ -”

Elías looked down at Severus’ left arm, finding his sleeve burned, falling away, a huge burn and cut there. The potions professor merely gripped the upper part of his arm, saying nothing as Elías felt guilt washing over him, eyes filling up, hands scrambling for Severus’ arm.

“I -” he stuttered, voice cracking, seeing the damage, his hands cradling his arm. “Severus, I’m so sorry -”

“Are you alright?” Severus simply sighed.

“I’m fine but  _ you’re  _ obviously not!” Elías gasped, eyes wide, turning to Severus. “We need to get you to the Hospital Wing now!”

“Are you able to walk?” calmly, gently, he spoke as if he wasn’t bleeding all over Elías’ lap, because of Elías himself and the Spaniard nodded, sobbing. “Elías, look at me -  _ look at me _ .”

Elías did, sniffling, hands gently touching Severus’ arm. Once their eyes met again, Severus slowly raised his eyebrows, looking calm.

“Elías,” he began. “Start by letting go of my arm. Do not touch  _ it _ .”

“W-what?” Elías stuttered, looking down before realizing -  _ oh _ .

“Do not touch it,” Severus repeated, a bit more forcefully. “It’s dark magic -”

“It’s moving,” Elías whispered, seeing the snake shimmering, the skull shift, opening the mouth wider little by little. “Why - why is it moving?”

“Feeds off pain,” Severus grunted, his hand gripping his own arm moving to push Elías’ fingers back. “Do  _ not _ touch it.”

“Does it hurt?” Elías asked dumbly, never even pondering about the Dark Mark before, not this way, as something still alive and not just merely a scar of past decisions.

“Yes, now can you get up?” Severus sighed.

“Y-yes,” he stood, lending the professor a hand, noting that Elías’ ankle was slightly singed, his jeans and shoe a bit burned. “You… you protecte -”

“Hospital Wing,” Severus interrupted, wincing, blood running down his arm, dripping on the floor, Elías staring for a second before suddenly getting a move on, taking Severus’ good elbow and pulling him along the hallway. 

“My fault, it’s my fucking fault,” Elías breathed. “We must’ve woken up half the castle -”

“I muted the dungeons, we woke up nobody,” Severus reassured and Elías let in a sharp breath. “But Pomfrey  _ is _ probably awake because of it. She’s a security alarm enchantment on every room in the dungeons, just in case of a potion explosion.”

“She’s going to kill me,” Elías laughed wetly, trying not to sob again. “You were right. Amortentia -”

“We were  _ both _ fighting,” Severus attempted but Elías shook his head.

“This is w-why I fail at everything,” he whispered, their steps echoing through the halls of a deserted Hogwarts, Elías’ wand shakily raised with a  _ lumos _ to light the way. “I get so emotional, I get  _ overly emotional _ , I was screaming at you, Severus, I’m  _ so sorry _ -”

“We were both -” Severus cleared his throat, watching the paintings follow the two professors, pursing his lips. “Elías, we were both fighting. Neither of us paid attention. You were making the potion but I was the one supervising.”

Elías just shook his head and said nothing else, his fingers sticky with drying blood, hearing it drip onto the carpet as Severus began to catch up with Elías instead of merely being pulled along, Dark Mark shining under the light like the tattoos Elías had all over his body. His blood kept dripping.

“We can try against next week,” Severus told him firmly.

“I  _ failed _ ,” Elías swallowed. 

“You’ve only failed once, are you going to give up?  _ Again _ ?” he snapped and Elías sobbed. “Do  _ not _ . Do  _ not dare give up _ . I don’t  _ care _ about my  _ bloody _ arm -”

“But  _ I _ do! Fuck,  _ fuck _ ,” Elías began to lower the stairs to the courtyard, shortcut to the Hospital Wing, the shock of the 2am cold making him shudder. 

“Elías -”

“Severus, I can’t -”

“ _ Elías _ -”

“I didn’t want to  _ hurt you  _ -”

Elías was yanked back, Severus’ hand gripping his upper arm, making Elías face him as he violently shook the Astronomy professor, eyes as stormy as the Scottish skies above them.

“Can you  _ fucking  _ stop?!” Severus snapped at him, eyes furious, making Elías freeze. “You’ve been yelling at me, angry at me for my actions, telling me everything wrong I’ve ever done, reminding me, making me  _ kneel _ before you and bloody  _ Lupin _ , calling me degrading  _ names _ just to tease me!” he shouted, Elías whimpering. “And now you cry for me, wounded, and you give me the damn  _ Felix Felicis _ and you swear you’ll make me  _ laugh _ ! I don’t  _ understand you _ ! You act high and mighty one moment but the next you’re sobbing my name?! What do you want from me?!”

Elías stared, the two professors breathing hard, Severus looking desperately at him, trying to search for answers in Elías’ watery blues.

“What do you want from me?” Severus whispered, swallowing. “Why do you care when I remind you of the one that took advantage of you?”

Elías recoiled, nearly gagging at the thought, shaking his head, “N-no! No! No, no, Severus,  _ no _ , you don’t, you - fuck, that’s not it! I just - I want - I -” he choked. “I just wanted to help! I see you and I - I’ve admired you my  _ entire life _ . And I never could live up to it. And as - as an adult I - I r-realize that I  _ idealized _ you. And you’re -” Elías laughed, choking on it. “Fuck, Severus, you’ve so much to fucking unlearn from those who h-hurt you. I’m h-hard on you because I  _ care _ , not despite caring, Gods, I’m just like you when I was a fucking  _ teenager _ . Y-you’re - fuck,  _ fuck _ ,” he rubbed his face, grubby with leftover potion that had jumped at them both. “You’d be amazing if you let yourself  _ grow _ .”

“I think I’m past -”

“You can  _ always _ learn,” Elías quickly nipped that thought in the bud, swallowing, his hand sliding on blood as he gripped the upper part of Severus’ arm. “You protected me. Back there.”

“I promised to supervise -”

“Severus, you  _ protected me _ because you  _ care about me _ ,” Elías told him intensely, moving a bit closer. “And that’s  _ okay _ . You’re allowed to care for your friends. You’re allowed to show it, to  _ say it _ . I will n-never think less of you for it.”

Severus was quiet, watching Elías, coal eyes running through Elías’ face, analyzing it, trying to find the lie and Elías laid himself bare, eyes meeting Severus’. Then he stepped even closer and threw his arms around his neck, hugging Severus tightly, face against his blood stained, dirty neck. It took a minute for Severus to respond, limbs staggering, arms finally moving around Elías.

“You can do so much more,” Elías whispered to him. “Please,  _ please _ , just keep working with me. Just keep  _ caring _ , Severus.”

“I can’t,” Severus croaked back, holding onto the edge of Elías’ shirt so tight that Elías felt it pull on his shoulders but he didn’t care. “Elías, I -”

“I know, I  _ know _ , but it’s worth it - it’s worth it, loving is always worth it,” Elías sobbed softly, hand burying into Severus’ hair. “I promise. I promise you. Do you trust me?”

He pulled back, hands on the back of Severus’ neck, having to go on his tiptoes so he wouldn’t just hang around his neck. The man seemed to try and compose him, looking away, eyes closing before a soft, “Yes,” slipped from his lips.

“Thank you,” Elías breathed, letting out a final smile before the two began to hear Pomfrey’s screams from the door of the Hospital Wing. “ _ Shit _ .”

“You’ll take the brunt of it,” Severus stated, slipping from Elías’ grip to move towards the wing, arm held against his chest.

“I-I -  _ hey _ ,” Elías called, following after him. “Wasn’t it both our fault?!”

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You  _ little  _ -”

Pomfrey reached them, hauling them both into the Infirmary, screaming obscenities and starting to heal Severus and for everything that he’d done, everything that had happened, everything that Severus and he had screamed at each other tonight -

Elías was satisfied. At least for now.


	26. Projections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!!!
> 
> This is the first chapter that's going to come from slower updates - instead of two chapters a day, you guys will get one a day. If I'm too excited, maybe two 👀 but we'll be seeing how it goes.
> 
> Thanks everyone for the kudos and comments and the love!! I'm putting together quite a few Playlist to share for the people reading this! If you're interested, let me know!!!
> 
> Also, spoilers for the Iliad??? I guess??? Also, I put a little doodle that I drew at the end, its super stupid but I just felt like drawing that part hdhfbdhfjsj

Elías woke up on Saturday morning disoriented, flashes of a Sight behind his eyes, blinking hard against the morning light that blasted right onto his face. Today was a clear day, perfect for the Ravenclaw vs Gryffindor match. Elías wasn’t thinking about that, though, cheek mushed against his pillow, sighing deeply.

He’d dreamt of Lily Potter tonight. Not in her youth, like Severus had been as the potion began to turn unstable in the dungeons the previous night, but in her last years. She’d been pregnant and she’d been sitting on a couch in a quaint little home, talking as she painted her nails, and Sirius had been sitting on the other end of the couch - dressed in a leather jacket and a Sex Pistols shirt. Remus had been there as well, next to Peter on the other couch, laughing loudly. His face scars hadn’t appeared yet, not the big ones. Previous to this vision, Elías had no idea that those had come after the Potter’s and Peter’s deaths.

Gods, he hated them. He  _ hated _ these. They were so unapologetically happy and all Elías felt was glee whenever he watched them, a sense of family that he knew well. But there was also guilt mixed there and Elías didn’t know if it was someone’s feelings that he was observing or just his own that screamed at him even in his dreams.

Lily was so pretty. So vibrant. Her hair had been a flaming red and Elías thought of Harry, how his hair had some of those little red whisps. Harry deserved to see these moments, not  _ him _ . Not Elías. It was so unfair. It was so  _ unfair _ , he wanted to cry -

There was a rapid knock on his door and Elías blinked, grunting, “Hold on!” he called out, voice raspy, looking around his floor for a shirt as he stood from his bed and stretched. Not finding on that wasn’t burned from last night, he just walked to the door, pretty sure that it was Remus anyway. If it was Severus, he didn’t care much, either.

And lo and behold, it was of course Remus - holding the copy of the Iliad that Elías had gifted him, eyes wide.

“W-what?” Elías blinked at him, yawning. “Remus? It’s so early -”

“Patroclus  _ dies?! _ ” he cut in, shaking the book towards Elías. “Why?!”

“Oh,” Elías stepped back, letting him in, yawning again. “Yeah, he dies.”

“But why?! Why would -  _ fuck _ !” Remus cursed, stepping into the room, letting Elías close the door behind him. “That’s bollocks!”

“I know, right?” Elías laughed, scratching his shoulder. His ankle hurt a bit now, after all the adrenaline from last night had passed. 

“They were so in love!” Remus said, passionate, his face full of emotion. “They grew up together! They were best friends, lovers -”

“Yep, Hector fucked up,” Elías nodded, moving to the bedroom, searching for a shirt to wear on his closet this time. “Where are you now?”

“Thetis and Achilles grieving,” Remus dropped on Elías’ couch, sighing deeply. “Achilles for Patroclus and Thetis for Achilles.”

“Yeah, he’s destined to die young if he kills Hector,” Elías grinned, pulling on a simple black v-neck. “Honestly, that moment when Patroclus is returned? And Achilles falls over his body, screaming?  _ Art _ .”

“I almost  _ cried _ ,” Remus ran a hand through his hair, breathing in sharply, suddenly. “Elías?”

“Hmm?” the Spaniard turned to Remus.

“Why is your ankle bandaged?” Remus slowly stood, frowning at his exposed ankle, since Elías was wearing sweatpants that were starting to be too short for him.

“Oh,” he mumbled, looking down at it. “Shit, uh - Amortentia exploded. For real this time. Severus was injured but uh, he and I were taken care of. He took the brunt of the explosion with his arm.”

“Merlin, are you alright? Is  _ he  _ alright?” Remus approached Elías, gently touching his elbows, checking his body for more bandages with rapid green eyes. “What happened?”

“We fought.  _ Again _ ,” Elías sighed, making Remus’ eyes turn even more worried. “No, no, this time - Gods, okay, can - I’m starving, can we get some breakfast first? And I’ll explain?”

“Do you want to get breakfast at the beach?” Remus asked him quietly, hand moving to gently pat Elías’ arm.

“I - that’d be nice,” he confessed but hesitated. “But I’d rather be here just in case - of - just in case Severus doesn’t show up? I’m a bit worried for him, he seemed fine but - I’m just worried.”

“Do you want to go to the dungeons, then? Pass by his rooms?” Remus rubbed Elías’ arms and Elías nodded, watching Remus for a moment, suddenly feeling a knot in his throat. “Elías?” he asked quietly. “Is everything alright?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed quietly. “Can we… I’m hungry but I think I need to tell you what happened last night.”

Remus nodded, moving to sit on the couch, grabbing a clear glass sitting on the coffee table and cleaning it with a tap of his wand before filling it with water, handing it to Elías. Elías’ copy of the Iliad sat on the table as well. Elías rummaged his brain for the way to start, looking at Remus and knowing that he would try and understand him no matter what, that he’d put an effort for Elías. And Elías was unbelievably grateful for it.

“I don’t often -” he paused, pursing his lips, deciding to trash that start. “Fuck, alright, I - you know Severus.”

“I do,” Remus nodded.

“You told me, the other day,” Elías began, frowning. “That you felt… you felt sorry for him. That you understand where he’s coming from - not that you excuse it but you  _ get  _ it.”

“Yes,” Remus nodded, leaning against the back of the couch, working to get his sweater off but Elías didn’t bother to turn off the extra warmth. He liked it, it comforted him, and Elías was the one who had all these conflicting feelings inside this morning. “I understand that his life has led to this point and while I do not condone any of his actions or the way he… seems to think that those he cares for are  _ his _ to care for, I do pity and wish him the best.”

“You’re a good man,” Elías murmured at him and Remus pursed his lips.

“No, Elías,” he sighed. “It’s just the basics of human empathy.”

“I think I have too much empathy,” Elías whispered. “I -” he swallowed, rubbing his face, noticing how greasy it was. Ugh. “I was brewing Amortentia. And playing some love songs, you know? For theme. I was kind of annoyed at him when we began but it just - fuck, Remus, I dunno? I - I  _ like _ the man, I admire him -”

“He’s a potions genius, I don’t fault you,” Remus snorted, resting his elbow on the back of the couch and supporting his head, watching Elías gesture wildly.

“I just forget so easily?” Elías explained, biting his lower lip. “The… the kind of person he is, I mean. He seems so rude and aggressive and miserable but if you respond lightly, you kind of… just learn that he has kind of layers to it? Like, I - I tease him and he’ll roll his eyes but they’re kind of fond, y’know?”

“Mhmm,” Remus nodded, understanding.

“But he’s also  _ infuriating _ . I don’t know if it’s because he still views me as a woman? Or if he does this to every person he knows, regardless of gender? Or maybe it’s a superiority thing, a narcissistic trait? But he - he just pushes and pulls me and manhandles me, you know? When we had that blowout the other week, it was because I wouldn’t let him grab my wrist and pull me around. And I screamed at him not to touch me. And last night, I touched the roses carelessly and got a wound and he was about to grab when he…” Elías sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He  _ didn’t _ .”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “Oh?”

“He asked me for permission to touch me, Remus,” Elías murmured, eyes fixed on the window, frowning. “Which calls into question everything I assumed of him.”

“That he wouldn’t listen to you?” Remus guessed.

“That he would listen  _ and _ not care,” Elías sighed, rubbing his stubble - well shit, it was a beard now. He should shave. “We spoke of Lily.” at that, Remus didn’t respond, eyes running through Elías’ face. “I really shouldn’t have,” he confessed with a dry laugh. “Like fuck, it’s  _ really _ not my business.”

“It really isn’t,” Remus told him, looking miffed. “You didn’t know her and she was -  _ was _ his best friend. Why did you bring her up?”

“I played a song he knew,” Elías murmured, eyes closing, sighing again, deeper. “Barry White song. It was clear whom it reminded him of and uh, I - it was about never quitting on love and it was just - Gods, just  _ really creepy _ , Remus. When taken out of the mutual love context -”

“Yeah,” Remus winced. “There’s something to be said about -”

“That’s what I said,” Elías nodded, sighing. “Told him that it was a problem, men’s need to constantly chase women and deny their consent - or lack of, more like - and society reinforcing  _ his _ choice of pursuit rather than  _ her _ denial.”

“Happens vice versa as well,” Remus added. “And -”

“Yes, but I’m not -” Elías sighed. “I’m talking about Lily and Severus - and James, too,  _ he _ played a part in it. Pulling pigtails is less than shouting slurs, though. And James grew out of it, that’s why Lily was able to take him seriously. That’s why Lily was able to let James in and - and let James know her.”

“He respected her as a person,” Remus nodded, frowning. “But James wasn’t perfect. By any means. They once -” he rolled his eyes. “Once they had this huge fight, when they’d begun to date? I think - think it was one of the only times in my life that I’ve disagreed so much with James, Sirius and Peter.”

“Oh shit, what happened?” Elías asked, surprised.

“James did some dumb prank,” Remus shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter what it was but it was Seventh Year and he was Head Boy and Lily just - she snapped, you know? She told him that what he’d done was irresponsible and stupid and James replied that it was his last one, that it was the very last time he’d do a prank but… well, Lily told him that she could care less about it? Because whenever people say that it’s the last time -”

“- it never is,” Elías finished, nodding.

“James told her, jokingly, that it was alright because Lily would always be there to turn him to the right path,” and both Remus and Elías winced deeply at that. “You can take a guess on how that went.”

“Gods, James,  _ idiot _ ,” Elías groaned, rubbing his face. “It’s not your girlfriend’s job to supervise you and make sure you don’t do idiotic  _ shit _ .”

“Lily was so tired of having to… handle everyone’s issues,” Remus murmured, chewing on the inside of his cheek, looking sad. “She’d been the mediator for so many people. She had a big heart, had a lot of empathy, you know? But it wore her out, burned her out. I told James that Lily wasn’t there to be a mother, and if he was going to love her romantically, he also needed to mature and be a man instead of a boy.”

“Go off, Remus,” Elías laughed, clapping gently, making Remus laugh.

“No, I - uh, I was used to being the father figure,” he rolled his eyes. “I knew what she felt like. I was always… carrying everyone’s burdens a lot. But they carried  _ my _ burdens too? It wasn’t - it wasn’t like James and Lily on their first year together. The four of us had a special bond, a certain balance that we achieved. It fell through in Fifth Year but… it was more or less stable when Lily and James began to date. So I - I knew what she’d felt, and I knew they both would find a balance but Lily thought it’d be just like with Severus.”

“Severus told me that she didn’t speak to her sister, Petunia, anymore,” Elías murmured.

“Petunia, right,” Remus murmured, looking sad. “That was her name. I remember now.”

“Lily and Petunia,” Elías sighed. “What lovely names.”

“Yeah,” Remus whispered, jaw going slack, and Elías realized he’d been clenching it. “James changed a lot for her. He loved her so much. And he only grew to love her more as he got to know Lily in a way he never had before. I always -” Remus laughed, a bit morose. “I always thought that they were a case study of  _ love makes you stronger _ .”

“That’s amazing,” Elías murmured, immediately thinking back to Severus, feeling bile rising up his throat at his miserable look. “Gods, and Severus -”

“I want to give him the benefit of the doubt,” Remus told Elías, looking mildly angry. “But you know, he - he keeps doing these things. He’s doing the same to you as he did to Lily and I’m pretty sure that he’s projecting.”

“What?” Elías blinked.

“I think he’s thinking of you as  _ a _ Lily,” Remus explained, making Elías feel absolute  _ panic _ within him. “I think he sees that you’re spirited and thinks about how Lily was as well. He sees - you know, how good you are at potions and he thinks of her. He sees how empathic, how gentle you are with children and he sees  _ her _ .”

“I thought I was like Sirius,” Elías joked a bit, feeling his throat close up.

“You are,” Remus replied, then paused, eyes widening. “Shit, I -”

“Oh, wow,” Elías laughed, standing, rubbing his face. “Oh, that feels so bad. That feels so awful, I’m gonna throw up -”

“I’m  _ so sorry _ ,” Remus told him, looking horrified. “I promise I didn’t mean - I just - it was the music, the attitude -”

“You’re doing the exact same thing, oh man,” Elías laughed, hand running through his hair, looking away from Remus. “Well, at least you didn’t fuck me out of pity and heartbreak.”

Remus looked ready to vomit, hand covering his mouth, looking away.

“I’d never -”

“I’m glad you realized I wasn’t  _ Sirius _ when I told you I liked you,” Elías told Remus, swallowing. “Shit, maybe that’s why I thought you liked me back? You were thinking of Sirius all those times?”

“Elías -”

“Sorry,  _ sorry _ ,” he breathed, trying to pull himself together, a deep emptiness and sadness sinking into the bottom of his stomach as he looked at Remus, the man refusing to watch him back. “We were talking about Severus,” he said, trying to catch the thread of what their conversation had been.

“We were talking about men using women as objects for their own growth,” Remus murmured, looking at Elías after a minute, Elías still standing in his sweats and shirt and bandaged ankle. The silence extended after that. Then, “Fuck, Elías,  _ I _ have been using you -”

“You haven’t been  _ using me _ ,” Elías told him quickly, frowning, but Remus shook his head.

“Shite,  _ fuck _ ,” he cursed, looking frustrated and Elías sat down on the couch again, watching Remus struggle. “Merlin, I’m a hypocrite.”

“A bit,” Elías admitted, shrugging. “But there  _ are _ a lot of differences between you and Severus, the first one is that you do not find women romantically available to you, so you’ve never struggled with thinking of them as prizes -  _ not _ that you haven’t, unconsciously, due to learning from your, you know, the society that we live in. I know, personally, that I’ve adopted a lot of hypermasculine toxic traits in order to compensate for my lack of dick.”

“Self-awareness only gets you so far, though,” Remus groaned, rubbing his face. “Oh, I hate the human psyche. I hate knowing what I know now. I hate that I’ve been pushing this image onto you and reminding you all the time of how much Sirius used to do the things you do. That’s so disgusting.”

“Kind of,” Elías winced. “But I mean - now we know? Now you can work on it, I guess.”

“You are  _ not _ Sirius,” Remus said, aloud, looking at Elías.

“I am not Sirius,” Elías agreed, nodding, watching Remus a bit sadly before murmuring, “Do you still want to be friends?”

“What?” Remus blinked, suddenly jumping. “Elías,  _ fuck _ , yes! I don’t - it isn’t all because of him!”

“Okay, okay, just - sorry, had to make sure,” he laughed a bit hysterically. “Low self-esteem and all. Okay. Alright. Good to know.”

“I’m such a wanker,” Remus sighed, covering his face with his hands. “You were supposed to talk about Severus and how he was treating you the same he treated Lily and how disgusting that is and it turns out I’m doing the same, I’m  _ so sorry _ , Elías.”

“It’s fine,” Elías said awkwardly. “As long as you don’t keep doing it.”

“I won’t,” he promised, swallowing. “I don’t and - and I promise you that I  _ know _ who you are and I appreciate you for who you are.”

“I hope so,” Elías sighed deeply, rubbing his cheek. “Uh… anyway, Severus?”

“Yes?” Remus looked at him from between his fingers. 

“I told him that love wasn’t selfish,” Elías explained quietly. “That love was kind, patient, and it let you go if it made you happier, yeah?”

“Yes,” Remus nodded, understanding. 

“Well, he - we began to shout at each other, it was a screaming match. He claimed that he knew her for longer, that he was there for all these things, that he loved her so very much, so why did James get her? Why did Lily leave him?”

“She didn’t leave him,” Remus looked angry, suddenly. “He pushed her away!”

“I wanted to say that but I - shit, I got so emotional? I was trying to just get the point across of how love just wasn’t what he thought,” Elías winced. “Then the potion exploded. Severus protected me from it?”

“Is he injured?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, his - his left arm,” Elías muttered. “I saw his mark. It was  _ moving _ .”

“Pain fuels the Dark Mark,” Remus explained. “We don’t know much about it, since it was made by Voldemort himself - or at least he credits himself with the idea - but we do know that it derives from a sort of ah, soul-latching curse? A mix between blood magic and something else that we can’t really place.”

“Sounds painful,” Elías guessed. 

“Extremely so,” Remus confirmed, “The process of getting one takes apparently from a single day to a month, depending on your… loyalty to Voldemort.”

“Fucking -  _ Gods _ ,” Elías choked. “That’s so awful.”

“Yes, quite,” Remus watched Elías, thoughtful. “He got injured protecting you, right?”

“Yeah,” Elías croaked. “I feel really bad about that. Especially when I was screaming at him about things I don’t have the full picture to.”

“He cares about you,” Remus told Elías, sighing. “Question is if it’s because he sees Lily or…”

“I think he knows it’s me,” Elías replied, swallowing.

“Do you think so or do you want it to be?” Remus asked, making Elías groan, dropping on the couch, legs sprawling over Remus’ lap. “I don’t even think he knows himself.  _ I _ didn’t.”

“I just want friends,” Elías said helplessly, watching the ceiling of his rooms. “Can’t believe people only see me as a projection of other people.”

Remus winced, “I also see  _ you _ .”

“How do you know  _ you  _ do?” Elías questioned, a bit miserably.

“This is going to sound a bit stupid but -” Remus touched his bandaged ankle, gently adjusting it, making Elías look down at his friend. “When I think of Sirius, there are all these feelings that are constantly fighting? It’s the guilt for thinking he really could betray us against the understanding that Sirius and I did have a fall out. It’s the fact that he never returned my feelings with - with the fact that I’m pretty sure that even if he did, I would’ve turned him down out of my sense of worth -”

“Which is in the Marianna’s Trench,” Elías told him dryly, making Remus nod. “So… what do you feel when you think of me?” he asked quietly, not sure he wanted to hear it.

“Fresh,” Remus said, just as softly, fingers tracing the mandala tattoo spanning half the length of Elías’ foot, looking at the intricate work. “Like - like the sea. In um, Camposoto. The feeling of being understood in a way that I… have never felt before. I feel safe. And understood. And free. Like I can breathe,” he murmured. “I think you’re like the sea.”

Elías’ sadness and misery from before lightened considerably, eyes watering a bit, “You think I’m like the sea?” he asked, voice cracking.

“Yes,” Remus looked over at him, smiling, and Elías gave a sob. “Oh, you’re such a crybaby,” he laughed, pulling Elías close, hugging him tight as Elías’ lower lip trembled, gripping Remus’ shirt. 

“Y-you think I’m l-like the sea!” Elías repeated, babbling. “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me!”

“You’re welcome,” Remus chuckled, petting his hair and the two of them paused as Elías’ stomach growled loudly. “Alright, we need to get you breakfast.”

“Sounds good,” he sniffled before punching Remus’ arm.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“For being a hypocrite - on the works, but still a hypocrite,” he rubbed his eyes, making Remus sigh. “And also because I’m embarrassed at the pretty things you tell me.”

“Well, I’m mad at you for giving me the Iliad. I thought it’d have a happy ending.”

“It’s an  _ ancient Greek poem _ , Remus,” Elías rolled his eyes, standing, moving towards the washroom so he could wash his face properly first. “They all end up badly.”

“I didn’t know that,” he sighed.

“Maybe I should gift Severus a book,” Elías called as he turned on the sink, rubbing on his face his favorite cleansing soap. “Ha! You think he’d learn something from a feminist book?”

“Depends on the subtlety of the book,” Remus leaned back, head dropping on the back of the couch. “I don’t think he’d much like  _ Little Women _ .”

“Oh, that’s a good book,” Elías breathed, washing away the suds with clean water. “But I think maybe Pride and Prejudice?”

“Good choice but I think it shouldn’t end with the usual  _ man gets the girl _ ,” Remus explained. “It won’t help him, it’s not about that.”

“How do you even know about it?” Elías asked, working on his hair after putting on some jeans, tying it back with a cherry hair tie that he’d found among his clothes, probably his cousin’s. “If you didn’t know about the Iliad -”

“Lily showed me her favorite books,” he explained, standing. “Breakfast?”

“Please,” Elías nodded, walking out of his rooms, the two lowering the stairs of the Astronomy Tower. “Alright, so - what’s a good book that showcases the effects of toxic masculinity?”

“And also builds it subtly so that he isn’t thrown back when he reads it, but understands it when the book is almost over?” Remus pondered, making Elías pause on the stairs, blinking, the answer coming so suddenly that he wondered how he hadn’t thought about it quicker. “Elías?”

“I  _ got it _ ,” Elías laughed, grinning at Remus. “Oh, I’ve  _ got it _ . It’s a bit…  _ extreme _ , but it does show that sentiment of owning someone? Just because you’ve feelings for them? Gods, and just - oh, I’m remembering that book, it’s  _ brilliant _ but uh, highly controversial. Because it’s from the point of view of the man himself and it’s kind of disgusting?”

“Ah,” Remus frowned, then he suddenly seemed to understand. “Is it Russian?”

“Have you heard of Vladimir Nabokov?”

* * *

Severus Snape paused at the clocktower, half an hour before the game, and Elías and Remus waved at him, the former gesturing for him to come closer. It seemed for a moment that he would refuse, making a deeply disagreeable face before approaching the two other professors, face sour.

“What do you want?” he asked, eyes trailing to Remus instead of Elías.

“Why don’t we go together?” Elías offered, hand moving to gently pat Severus’ right arm, giving him some nice, big eyes, almost pouting. “I was a bit worried about you, you didn’t show up for lunch.”

“I ate in the kitchens,” he replied slowly, looking down at Elías and seemingly relaxing a little as he did, sighing. “How is your ankle?”

“It’s fine,” Elías smiled gently. “And your arm?”

“Healing,” Severus retorted, making a face. “Why is  _ he _ here?”

“Because you two should mend things up,” Elías told Severus, gripping Severus’ sleeve before pulling the two men a bit closer, lifting a finger as if to teach them a lesson like with his students. “See? We can all watch the game together! And be friends!”

“You’re going too fast, Elías,” Remus chuckled as Severus stared at the Spaniard like he’d grown a second head. “I think we merely need to… just peacefully watch the game.”

“I’d rather not,” Severus said dryly, about to turn around and head back to the castle when Elías caught the back of his coat. “Why -”

“You were going to the game,” Elías narrowed his eyes at him, smirking. “Which is Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, something you’d claw your eyes out for. You’re not into Quidditch and your House isn’t playing. Which means that you were going there - passing by the clocktower where we usually meet, by the way - so  _ you and I _ could watch the game.”

“You’re insufferable,” Severus gritted his teeth but he did turn around, Elías triumphantly moving between the two professors with a grin. “Don’t be  _ smug _ .”

“I’m not!” he promised, arms wrapping around Remus’ and Severus’ elbows, smiling. “I’m just glad we, as adults, get to grow past all this animosity that we used to have with each other! This shows growth and comprehension and willingness to  _ change _ .”

Remus turned to look at Severus over Elías’ head and Severus glared at him, making Remus snort a bit as Elías kept talking and preaching about development of character. 

Maybe he and Severus were more similar than he thought, maybe they  _ had _ differences and during their school years he’d been less than savory to him but Remus could admit that Elías brought out a side of Severus that he’d never seen, not even with Lily - which was willingness to follow through with stupid plans. Plans like sitting in front of a  _ Gryffindor _ game, where Harry Potter would be on the best broom in Hogwarts. Plans where Remus himself was included. And inexplicably, Severus scowled but followed along.

Remus was actually amused by the time they reached the Quidditch Pitch, because Elías hadn’t let go of Severus’ arm and they were both talking about the Amortentia incident and what had caused it. He’d never been privy to the academic conversations these two had in his absence from Elías’ life during January and almost all of February but now he could clearly see that Severus had finally met his match.

Everything Severus dryly responded to, Elías had a quick quip about, making Remus chuckle every time. Severus would roll his eyes and sneer and Elías would narrow his own eyes and throw a pull of Severus’ sleeve for good measure. And Remus had known the man for quite a long time, he could see that both Slytherins were enjoying themselves. It relieved him greatly, to actually see a semblance of dynamic, a friendship, instead of the shambling, shuddering pieces that used to be Lily and Severus in their last dregs. 

Elías wasn’t Lily. And he wasn’t Sirius. And Remus could breathe a bit easier as he slowly distanced that view in his mind. Sure, Sirius and Elías both liked the same music but Sirius would never be caught playing piano when he’d avidly hated those lessons and resorted to playing violin just to piss his mother off. Elías had a great relationship with his family, a family with humble beginnings, with a matriarch who, aside from a big gossiper, wasn’t someone alienated from her own home and culture, forced into British patriarchy. He didn’t have the toxic traits that Sirius had - carelessness of secrets kept, hatred for books to the point of actively avoiding reading them and the refusal to see his past mistakes and grow from them. 

No, Elías had other flaws. He was overly emotional, prone to outbursts that took a toll on whomever was in front of him at a time. He wore his heart on his sleeve and was so honest that Remus worried about people who would take advantage of it. He was proud, and often fell into Slytherin pride and Slytherin tactics to avoid looking at his flaws. He got frustrated easily when someone didn’t do what he expected them to do, leading to those emotional explosions. And the biggest flaw of all was perhaps his lack of self-worth, which led to Elías sitting between Remus and Severus, two thirty-three year old men whom both clearly expressed affection - perhaps misguided, perhaps not - for him. Haggard, tainted people, both with curses; one in his inner left arm and another on his shoulder, in the shape of a bite.

Remus watched Severus, watched the way he responded to Elías and thought about the way Elías had stated firmly that it wasn’t women’s job to change men. That women weren’t a stepping stone in men’s recovery and journey to self-realization and improvement. But there he was, sitting down, just after talking to Remus about how to help Severus. Maybe it was because Elías wasn’t a woman, and that was why he didn’t see it, but Elías very much was falling into one of the tropes that Severus expected to land at his feet and take.

Maybe Remus was overthinking it.

* * *


	27. Within Orion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to update this one tonight because I actually wrote 12k today, so more or less two chapters. Thought y'all would appreciate!
> 
> Trigger Warning:  
> Mention of suicide  
> Mention of mental illness

Harry used a patronus during the game.

Elías knew there was something deeply wrong or revealing about it, watching the stag knock over two figures that were _definitely_ not dementors. Elías stood, watching the field, anger rising as he realized those were _students_ but when he turned around to tell Severus and Remus his discovery, he found them both pale, looking at the dissipating stag.

“Wha -” Elías began to ask but instead he just decided to ignore it, walking down towards the field as Harry caught the snitch, Gryffindor going into an uproar but Elías was _furious_ as he looked at the green and silvery figures stumbling in poorly made dementor costumes. “ _Mr. Malfoy! Mr. Crabbe! Mr. Goyle! Mr. Nott!_ ” he called the four of them, one by one, and half the Ravenclaw team turned away with wide eyes as the Slytherins jumped.

“An unworthy trick!” McGonagall shouted from behind Elías, quickly catching up to him, the two professors lifting the children up to their feet. “A low and cowardly attempt to sabotage the Gryffindor Seeker!”

“I can’t _believe_ the four of you!” Elías told them all, snapping hard, the boys all looking at the grass with frightened faces. “Slytherin doesn’t need these shameful tactics to win and Mr Malfoy, I thought you of all people would know that!I’ve been watching you all poke and prod at Mr Potter about the Dementors yet I never believed for a _second_ that you would take it this far! Are you thirteen or three years old?! Fifty points from Slytherin!”

A low murmur took over the crowd gathered around them - Elías barely took away points from students, he could probably count with the fingers of his two hands the amount of times he’d done it during his time at Hogwarts. And nothing bigger than ten points. “And detention! All of you!” he added.

“I shall be speaking to Headmaster Dumbledore about this, make no mistake!” Professor McGonagall told them four. “Ah, here he comes now!”

Indeed, Dumbledore was walking towards the little show and before Elías could explain to him, he felt a tug on his arm, making him turn around, finding Harry with a wide, wide grin. Elías’ heart melted a bit, seeing the boy so happy after such misery and he ruffled his hair with affection.

“That was a good catch,” he told him, smiling. “And a _very_ solid patronus. I’m very proud of you, kiddo.”

“Thank you,” he gushed before being taken over by his friends, all of them pulling him towards the castle as Dumbledore spoke in low tones to the four Slytherins, making Elías purse his lips. He’d thought they were better than this.

“I will see you tomorrow morning in my office, along with your parents,” Dumbledore stated, the kids nodding, the crowd dispersed by McGonagall but Remus and Severus were already there as well. Elías moved next to Severus and looked at him.

“Are you going to say something?” he asked him.

“I’ll be the one to speak to their parents, and I’d advise you to come with me,” the Slytherin explained to Elías, looking quite furious as well. “How lowly.”

“I can’t believe they’d do that,” Elías murmured, incredibly disappointed.

“They’ve much to learn, still,” Severus scowled before walking closer to the boys, leaving Elías to watch Remus, the man looking a bit lost.

“Remus?” he asked quietly, moving closer, startling the werewolf. “Are you alright?”

“I - yes, just -” he blinked a bit, sighing, turning fully to Elías. “Harry’s patronus.”

“It was beautiful,” Elías smiled at him but it dropped when Remus simply looked sad. “Are… are you not proud of him?”

“I am,” he whispered, then added quietly. “James’ patronus and animagus form was a stag.”

“Oh,” Elías supplied dumbly, eyes wide.

“Oh indeed,” the werewolf laughed a bit, looking almost wounded. “He did well. I’m proud of him, I just - it struck me so hard.”

“I could tell,” Elías whispered, turning to look at Severus, who was scolding the boys. Elías didn’t know how to walk in without overwhelming them, without repeating something they’d already heard - when a lesson was drilled, sometimes it became detrimental. So maybe he’d just show up at their detention and ask them exactly why they’d done it. “Come on,” he told Remus, hand moving to his elbow, pulling a bit. “I _need_ to get out of the Quidditch Pitch.”

“Me too,” Remus breathed and the two stepped away, leaving Severus with the children, but not before Elías took a look over his shoulder and briefly met Theodore Nott’s eyes, the kid looking like he’d seen a ghost.

* * *

By the time night arrived and Remus and Elías had finished dinner, Elías had recovered from San Fernando his English copy of the book he wanted to give Severus. It sat in the sand between him and Remus, the werewolf laying calmly on top of a - blessedly dry - towel, his socks and shoes on the boardwalk and his feet lapped by the waves.

Elías had his ukulele out, playing songs that didn’t exist yet, trying out different chords. He’d never really showed Remus the process of churning songs out and figuring out the chords of each. His notebook laid to the side, chewed pen inside the spiral that held it together, notes scribbled in awful, quick handwriting. Remus didn’t seem to mind his fumbling, his change of tones as he tested the strings, or the fact that he wasn’t even trying with his French accent, butchering it just to get the song written first. He just laid there, eyes closed, looking happy.

“Elías?” Remus suddenly asked, making Elías stop fiddling with the strings.

“Hmm?” he asked.

“Why didn’t you go to Beauxbatons?” he asked, turning his head to watch him, making Elías look back at Remus with surprise. “You knew French when you were eleven, right?”

“Well, first of all, I knew _very_ horrid French,” Elías laughed, making Remus chuckle a bit. “And I didn’t go there for various reasons - I got three letters and I chose Hogwarts mainly because I already knew English and I _hate_ French. Secondly, because it would be far away from my sister, whom I really didn’t get along with at the time, and thirdly because, again, at the time, I thought the United Kingdom was _cool_ and _mysterious_ and France is full of _French people_.”

“Wait, three letters?” Remus frowned, watching him.

“Yeah,” he replied, trying C, then Gm, realizing it didn’t fit the song. “Ugh, horrid.”

“What was the third school? Durmstrang?” Remus sat up.

“What? No! Altavista!” he laughed, shaking his head. “Gods, Durmstrang is _so_ far away. And back in the 80s they _still_ didn’t let muggleborns in.”

“They didn’t let in muggleborns in Durmstrang?” Remus’ eyes widened. “And wha - Spain has a school?”

“Yeah, it’s not like, _widely known_ , not one of the top three schools, but that’s mainly because Spain has been ignored ever since the Statute of Secrecy forced the school to move from Sierra Morena to Sierra Cantábrica,” he explained, starting to idly play something senseless as Remus listened. “We also had to make an exact replica of the school? Now it’s a tourist attraction in the south but in the north it’s just - you know, _La Gran Academia de las Artes Mágicas Altavista_.”

“I had _no_ idea,” Remus told him, looking bothered by the fact.

“Y- _ep_ ,” Elías hummed, also mildly annoyed. Not even a little bit? Not even mentioned in name? Gods, people in Beauxbatons at least knew it. “It’s a beautiful palace. In hindsight, I really should’ve gone there but all I could think about at the time was going as far away as I could, to the most mysterious place and have an adventure,” he laughed, a bit sad. “I don’t think Altavista would’ve been nicer than Hogwarts, though.”

“Why do you think so?” Remus frowned, putting the Russian novel to the side so he could move a bit closer to Elías, laying down again.

“I don’t really get along with Spanish people, I’ve found,” Elías laughed quietly, wincing a bit, putting his ukulele away and gently moving Remus’ head on his lap, playing with his hair, Remus’ eyes fluttering shut again. “I was… bullied a lot in muggle school. And in muggle college I uh, was pretty much an outcast?” he confessed quietly. “I just didn’t make friends. Those I made left and just… never returned my calls. Or my letters. Or anything.”

Remus was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’ve got friends now,” Elías smiled at Remus, who beamed right back at Elías, “But yeah, like - Spain has a school. What? You thought _every_ Spanish, Portuguese, Andorran and French person went to Beauxbatons?” he chortled, watching Remus flush.

“I don’t _know_ how big Beauxbatons is,” he replied and Elías gave a hum.

“Oh, it’s big - actually, bigger than Hogwarts,” he pointed out, making Remus open his eyes again.

“You’ve been there?” he asked, surprised.

“Yeah! At my sister’s graduation,” he told Remus, smiling widely. “I almost went because of their music program but – well, you know. It’s such a beautiful palace. It’s surrounded by a wizarding village that is still _so_ heavily stuck in the 18th Century. The peak of Beauxbatons was in the baroque and it _shows_ , Remus. So heavily ornamented, the gardens, the beaches -”

“It’s on the coast?” Remus grinned. “You must’ve loved that.”

“It’s on an almost island, off-coast, actually,” Elías replied, laughing. “There’s a sand path that leads right to the French coast but on high tide, it’s hidden.”

“Are the towers made of silver? I heard that once,” Remus told him.

“Spun glass,” Elías corrected, remembering the sight of the palace. “White brick, blue accents, the alabaster railings and stairs that led to the beach… oh, it was _beautiful_ ,” he breathed, a bit longing. “I sometimes wish I’d gone to Beauxbatons. But I _assure_ you, they would’ve eaten me alive. My sister was triumphant in that school, she still goes back from time to time to teach a class or two, as a guest. She’s held at high esteem at the Academy.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Remus murmured, relaxing against Elías’ lap. “Imagine being by the sea every single day…”

“Hello? This is my house?” Elías laughed, making Remus giggle, covering his face with his hands. “Oh, you’re so distracted.”

“I’m so relaxed, can you blame me?” one of his eyes popped open, smiling at him. “This is therapeutic after a blue moon.”

“Yeah, must’ve felt like shit,” Elías frowned a bit but Remus reached up, smoothing Elías’ brow with his thumb, making the Spaniard laugh.

“It’s so strange, you know,” Remus finally whispered as the two fell quiet, the waves crashing against the stones they were leaning up against.

“What is?” Elías asked, hunched over Remus, playing with his hair again.

“That the world seems to get bigger whenever we talk here,” Remus replied, making Elías pause, surprised at that statement. “I knew there was - a world out there, of course I knew but… I never really got out of the U.K. before. And now it’s just… there’s Spain. There’s San Fernando, more concrete. There’s Altavista. There’s Cantábria. There’s Beauxbatons, now with a real - well, sort of real image in my mind.”

“Yeah,” Elías said so softly, meeting Remus’ gaze. “The world does seem bigger when you start traveling.”

“How far have you gone?” Remus asked curiously, digging his feet in the sand.

“On Earth?” Elías laughed a bit, before giving him a small smile. “Not far. I think the furthest I’ve ever been to is Kiev, in Ukraine.”

“You’ve never left Europe?” Remus was surprised and Elías shook his head.

“Nope. Never left Europe,” he admitted. “I really want to but I mean, it’s not really something I’d do alone? I’m kind of a scaredy cat, even if I don’t want to admit it,” he laughed.

“Well, cat _is_ your animagus form,” Remus laughed, closing his eyes again. “Is the world bigger to you? I wonder.”

“I don’t know,” Elías murmured, resting his head on Remus’ hand as he brought it up, his warm palm against his cheek. “I hope it isn’t. It already seems too big. And I’m already so small.”

“Do you feel small?” Remus opened his eyes just a little bit, watching him, his hand shifting only a little to properly cup Elías’ face, the Spaniard moving his eyes to the ocean, looking almost tired.

“I feel tiny,” the confession was almost drowned by the sound of the waves and Remus frowned, sitting up, watching Elías as the Slytherin dropped his head on Remus’ shoulder. “I think it’s the Sight, you know. I may not have traveled far but… in a sense, I have? Not just in space but also in time…”

“Right, I - forgot about that,” Remus realized, hand moving to the back of Elías’ neck. “You must’ve gone everywhere.”

“Sometimes I doubt it’s even real,” Elías whispered against his shirt. “Sometimes the visions are beautiful, Remus, so very beautiful… it makes me doubt that it’s this Earth, that it’s even real. Some places so calm, so peaceful, so untouched by human history…”

“Did you have visions of places that you later visited?” Remus asked.

“Yeah. Hogwarts, for example,” Elías muttered. “Uh, Prague as well. We went there for Easter one time and I was already in love with the city. Beauxbatons was another but - it looked different. I think I’ll visit it in the future or I just Saw it much, much later.”

“Merlin, that’s - fascinating and terrifying at the same time,” Remus told him, shifting so Elías could move closer comfortably, apparently deciding that it was time for Remus to comfort Elías with touch. So Elías dropped his head on Remus’ lap and sighed happily as Remus started running his fingers through the roots of his hair. “Is it ever lonely?”

“I’m perpetually lonely,” Elías laughed and Remus didn’t return the gesture, making Elías stop. “Yeah, no, I - I want to say that I’m used to it but I genuinely feel lonely most of the time I’m alone.”

“Me too,” Remus told him.

“How sad, the both of us being lonely,” Elías sighed.

“How lucky, the both of us finding each other,” Remus added, and this time the two smiled. “You’ve got friends now.”

“So do you,” Elías closed his azure eyes and moved his hands to the sand, digging in. “You know, I… I wonder how I would’ve turned out if I’d gone to Altavista.”

“We probably wouldn’t have met,” Remus pointed out.

“Yeah, we probably wouldn’t have,” Elías admitted. “And I very probably wouldn’t have met Severus and Hagrid, either. Or Dumbledore. Or Minerva. Or Theo and Harry. All my kids…”

Remus said nothing, watching him, watching Elías look up at the night sky. The Gryffindor leaned back, hands resting on the sand, directing his gaze up only to find Orion, which Elías was also watching.

“Do you ever regret?” Elías asked quietly.

“Regret what?”

“Anything.”

“Of course,” Remus admitted, dropping his back to the sand, head sinking slightly on it. “I regret a lot of things. Mostly related to the war. Related to my friends. Things I never told them, things I should’ve done.”

Elías nodded on his lap and Remus fell quiet. The two studied the sky for a moment, the night deep by now.

“Do you?” Remus finally asked. “Regret things, I mean?”

“I don’t know,” Elías breathed. “Without the choices I’ve made, I wouldn’t be here right now, right? And I’d like to think I’m doing better than I was before.”

“Are you?”

Silence. Then -

“I don’t want to die anymore. I think.”

Remus swallowed, a deep stab of sadness wounding him right in the middle of his chest at the words, sitting up to look at Elías, his eyes in the big starry sky. Blue eyes turned to Remus.

“You can tell me,” Remus whispered to him. “I’ll listen.”

“What’s there to tell?” he murmured back. “I wanted to die for a long time. Now I’m not so sure, you know.”

“Why…”

“Cause I’m scared,” Elías replied, sitting up, rubbing his face. “I don’t think about it as often as before -”

“What do you mean by _before_ , though?” Remus pressed.

“When I was fourteen, it began,” he explained and Remus wanted to _vomit_. He’d already wanted to - and then he had to go through - “Yeah, I know,” Elías laughed bitterly. “I was easy to take advantage of. I was depressed, Remus. And I _am_ bipolar.”

“You are?” Remus asked, utterly taken by surprise.

“Yeah, I guess I - guess I forgot to tell you,” Elías murmured. “It’s not something I broadcast to anyone. I’m not on meds anymore, I’ve been off them for a while, thanks to therapy and better habits. But I still get, you know, the episodes. Depression and hypomania. I get the bubbling emotions and the feelings of hopelessness. I get the giddy, careless high for a day at most, followed by a deep depression.”

Remus swallowed. Fuck, he’d considered those things _flaws_ on Elías, when they’d been symptoms. “This kind of makes sense.”

“Makes a _lot_ of sense, you can say it,” Elías replied, shrugging. “I also have like, a lot of anxiety? And I’m much more prone to depressive episodes. That’s why I call myself a crybaby. Well, I _am_ also a crybaby in general.”

“There’s nothing wrong with crying,” Remus told him, suddenly needing Elías to understand that Remus really didn’t mind the tears, he’d never minded. “There’s nothing wrong with crying a lot, Elías, I - I don’t care about that at all.”

“That’s a relief,” Elías breathed, laughing a bit. “We have such deep conversations on the beach, I’m beginning to think it just brings out something in you.”

“Maybe,” Remus chuckled, leaning over to kiss Elías’ freckled forehead, sighing as he pulled away and found Elías with his eyes closed. “Maybe we should pick lighter topics. For once.”

“For once,” Elías laughed, leaning up himself to kiss Remus’ jaw, making Remus’ heart dance inside his ribcage, lungs nearly collapsing. He’d shaved this morning and Elías’ lips were petal soft against him. Merlin almighty. “Alright, pick a topic.”

“A light topic?” Remus blew out a breath, arm thrown over Elías’ shoulder, chin resting on top of his head. “Alright, er… talk to me… about…” he frowned, then looked down at Elías’ hands. “This tattoo,” he pointed at a little jewel tattoo, outlined in black and filled with green. “Why did you get this tattooed?”

“Oh, that’s a rupee,” he explained, laughing, patting Remus’ cheek. “From a videogame.”

“A what?” Remus blinked. “Video… game?”

“ _Remus_ ,” Elías laughed, burying his face on Remus’ chest, grinning widely. “Oh my Gods, I get _so_ happy when you don’t understand anything muggle. It’s like a shot of serotonin, I swear. You’re adorable.”

Remus flushed, “I have no idea about muggle culture, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be,” Elías grinned, moving to grab the discarded novel on the side. “Honestly, it’s just a fun game I used to watch my cousin play. It united us a lot. It was ridden with a deep sense of adventure and wonder. Discovering caves, defeating the bad guys, solving puzzles… it was good. The currency of the game was this little jewel. I got it tattooed because my cousin Jaime is basically like my big brother. I love him very much and our friendship makes me very happy.”

“Alright,” Remus nodded, cradling Elías’ hands and pointing at a tattooed symbol on his finger. “This one?”

“It’s the transgender symbol,” Elías explained, smiling.

“This one.”

“It’s a bumblebee! I love bumblebees, so cute!”

“This one here?”

“Luna moth!”

“So vivid...”

“My favorite moth.”

“You’ve a favorite moth?”

“You don’t?”

“Ah, touche.” Remus laughed. “What about this one?”

They spent a good while talking about… well, lighter things. Hours delving into little happy moments of their lives. Elías’ tattoos that always had to signify something happy, never something sad, his only tattoo rule. Remus’ own library after reading a passage of the book for Severus, talking about more books from that same author. Delving into literature, mostly wizarding but some of it muggle.

They talked and talked and talked into the wee hours of the morning, as they always seemed to do in this small little corner of the world, Remus no longer feeling lonely, no longer feeling that small when Elías was leaning against his chest and info dumping about the Big Dipper, making it seem so much more interesting than when Remus had studied it at Hogwarts.

“We should get back to the castle,” Remus ended up saying at around three in the morning, nose pressed to Elías’ hair, half asleep himself as he watched the ocean, hypnotized by the smell of lavender and salt.

“Yeah,” Elías hummed, blinking to try and get rid of the sleep in his eyes. “Yeah, we should go back… or sleep here?”

“We shouldn’t,” Remus chuckled but Godric, it sounded so nice…

“Why not?” Elías asked, turning around to watch Remus, half on top of his lap, rubbing his eye. “We could even sleep on my bed, windows open. Hear the sea.”

 _If I see you again in the morning, I won’t be able to resist this time_ , Remus thought as he watched the Spaniard, taking in a sharp breath. _I’ll give in. And ruin you_.

“Let’s get to the castle, come on,” he urged, standing, taking Elías’ ukulele and the novel, Elías taking the towels. He turned towards the boardwalk but not before Elías’ hand slipped into his, Remus immediately holding it tight. He had to stop that habit. Elías already seeked his touch but Remus couldn’t bring himself to drop it.

“Did you at least like the spicy chicken wrap?” Elías asked and Remus almost tripped on the sand, making Elías laugh. “I’m sorry! I was joking!”

“I am but a lowly Brit. It was _good_ but please, don’t ever test me again,” he told Elías, picking up his shoes and socks.

“You didn’t have to _eat it all_ ,” Elías pointed out, giggling hard, opening the front door of the house and Remus held him before he could enter. “ _Remus_ -”

“Your _feet_ ,” he laughed, waving his wand to get rid of the salt and sand they both carried in them, entering now with a clearer conscience. “We’re filling your house with sand every time.”

“Like I care,” Elías chuckled, putting the towels away after shaking them - all over the carpet, just to spite Remus - and put his ukulele on the table, grabbing a glass of water, Remus leaning against the fireplace. “Hey, Remus?”

“Yes?” he nodded at Elías.

“You should get a tattoo,” he told him but Remus simply lifted his eyebrows.

“You think I don’t have one already?” he replied and Elías’ jaw dropped before he approached Remus. “Oh no,” Remus laughed, hands lifting to stop Elías by the wrists. “I’m not showing it to you.”

“Why?” Elías’ eyes glinted. “Is it naughty? Does Mr Remus Lupin, proper pretentious professor have a _tramp stamp_?”

“Maybe I do,” Remus laughed, making Elías try and grab the edge of his shirt. “I don’t! I don’t, I promise, you’ve seen me without a shirt during full moons! I don’t have one!”

“It’s on the dick, isn’t it?”

“ _Elías -_ ”

“What is it? Can you tell me _at least_ what it is?” Elías pouted.

“I don’t know,” Remus chuckled, taking the floo powder, entering Hogwarts first, appearing in Elías' room, the other professor quickly following. “Listen, it’s nothing big. It’s just a signature.”

“Oh?” Elías’ eyes shone with curiosity. “Whose?”

“My mother’s,” he replied softly before sitting down to tie his shoes and twisting his foot, showing Elías what he’d previously thought was maybe a birthmark. But no, now that he looked at it, it was a faded, small tattoo. A handwritten _Hope_ there. “See?”

“Oh,” Elías murmured, eyes wide. “Wow. That’s - that’s very sweet, Remus. When did you get it?”

“The year she died,” he replied, finishing putting on his shoes and Elías slipped on his own, wanting to walk with Remus back to his rooms. “I was eighteen. James held my hand the entire time. _That’s_ when we also got the more embarrassing tattoo,” Remus laughed and Elías’ face lit up again, the two walking out of his rooms down the stairs, neither of them noticing the paintings all looking around in a ruckus.

“Tell me, tell me!” Elías begged him, laughing loudly. “Remus! Remus, oh, you must! You’ve seen so many of _my_ tattoos!”

“That’s because you’ve so many!” Remus replied, shoving Elías a little as the Slytherin leaned against him on the hallways. “How many do you have?”

“I don’t know, I lost count,” Elías laughed, grinning wide.

“See? You don’t even have space!”

“Oh, I’ve plenty of space - I’ve almost none on my neck, I got lots of small spaces for little things -”

“You’ve a tattoo problem,” Remus told him, reaching his door and Elías giggled again. “Merlin, why did you come here?” Remus laughed. “We went to your _rooms_.”

“I dunno. Wanted to keep talking to you,” Elías murmured, smiling at Remus, making Remus look up at the ceiling and shake his head, smiling himself. Elías kept grinning. “I’ll go back to my _rooms_ , don’t worry, since you apparently don’t want to sleep _by the sea_ again.”

“It’s hot,” Remus told him, tapping Elías’ nose. “So, _so_ hot.”

“You’re just weak, Lupin,” Elías replied, sticking his tongue out at him. “Gotta get used to it. My mom wants you to attend to a few barbeques during August.”

“Oh Merlin, I’d burn like a shrimp,” Remus groaned.

“See? That’s why you gotta get used to it -”

“Next week, next week -”

“Next week is Hogsmeade trip, though -”

“Goodnight, Elías,” Remus laughed, cutting him off with one last kiss to his head and Elías stepped back, heart racing, hands moving to cover his burning cheeks as he began to walk back towards the Astronomy Tower, absolutely unaware of the shadow that slipped into the rooms he owned before he even got to the stairs.

So he hummed to himself, singing softly, in a beautifully happy mood, opening the door only for a grimy hand to push against his mouth, all the lights in the room turned off, the only sound being Elías’ body thudding against the door. Elías’ eyes widened, trying to discern the figure in the dark but all he saw was the glint of a knife, taken off-guard, trying to reach for his wand but a hand slapped it away, the vine wood sliding through the floor.

Alright. Muggle way it was.

Elías lifted his knee to his attacker’s stomach, making them grunt and double over before he raised his elbow and cracked it across their face, sending them gasping and pretty quickly Elías took the wrist holding the knife and tried to twist it - but the attacker got a hold of his neck with their arm, moving it around Elías, choking him, back pressed to their front.

Elías wheezed, panic starting to grip him as his vision went fuzzy around the edges. He was in full defense mode, trying to breathe, get some oxygen into his lungs and he kicked at the wall until his attacker fell to the floor and Elías could lean his head as forward as he could before snapping it back, making a _crack_ as he heard it impact with their nose.

Once their arms were away from his neck, Elías turned around, straddling them, making sure his legs were in the right position for a locking hold. Elías would’ve sent a real punch right then to their face if the clouds hadn’t dispersed enough in the sky to let the moon shine through the windows of the castle.

Elías’ fists loosened and he froze, eyes wide, gripping the front of his dirty, ratty prison clothes, watching blood ooze from his nose.

“Sirius?” he breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius: yeah, if someone finds me, I can just grapple them  
> Elias, a muggleborn gay: hold my drink


	28. Sirius

“Are you fucking  _ insane _ ?!” Elías hissed, looking at the man underneath him, hands rushing to pull Sirius’ fingers away, inspecting his nose and  _ oof _ , yeah, that was broken. “Are you  _ dumb _ ? Do you  _ enjoy  _ being this fucking dumb? Oh my  _ Gods _ -”

Elías looked around for his wand, moving over to it as Sirius blinked on the floor, trying to recuperate, coughing way too loud, shit, fuck, did anyone know he was here?!

“ _ Episkey _ ,” Elías sighed, pointing at his face and with a dull  _ crack _ , Sirius groaned again. “Fucking  _ hell _ , you absolute  _ imbe _ \- why would you come to the Astronomy Tower?! Does anyone else know you’re here?! If they catch you, you’re fucking dead!”

Elías kneeled by him, moving a blanket under his head, making the Gryffindor grunt, looking so absolutely  _ confused _ . Elías couldn’t blame him, he really didn’t know he’d be trying to grapple with someone who had practiced MMA for a few years.

“What?” he rasped, voice shot. “What the  _ fuck _ is going on? Who the fuck are you?”

“Hi, I’m Elías, I’m a Seer,” he explained, wetting a handkerchief and starting to clean the blood and grime from his face.

“ _ What?! _ ”

“It’s a long story,” Elías told him, pulling away and finally able to see his face. “Oh, good, I didn’t fuck you up too bad. I am  _ so _ sorry about that, I just - it was instinct.”

“Well, I  _ did _ attack you first,” he mumbled, sitting up, wincing. His cheeks were sunken in, his hair was long and ratty and he had cuts and bruises everywhere but -

This was Sirius Black. Black-haired, Vietnamese features, grey eyes of the Black family, the jawline that he’d seen a thousand times in his Sights and that small mole on his neck, near his chin. This was him. This was Harry’s Godfather, Peter, James and Lily’s best friend, Remus’ long lost love. And a person whom he would get to know later, if things went according to plan.

Sirius stared at him, blinking.

“Why - why are you helping me?” he asked, confused. “You know, killer on the loose? Ahhh, careful! Here comes Sirius Black! He wants to kill Harry Potter!” he waved his hands a bit, almost like jazz hands and Elías snorted. “Aren’t you a professor here?”

“Astronomy Professor, yes,” he nodded. “But as I said, I’m a Seer. I know you’re innocent, Sirius. I  _ know _ you weren’t the Secret-keeper. And I know you didn’t kill those twenty muggles back in ‘81.”

Sirius let out a wounded noise, eyes wide, entire body shaking before he suddenly let out a hysterical laugh, pressing his hands to his face, looking like the world had dropped from his shoulders. Sunken, a shell of what he used to be, Sirius Black gave a little hiccupy giggle, half-crying and half-laughing with relief.

“I know you’re innocent, Sirius, but if it wasn’t you, who -” Elías explained but he began to hear a voice in the hallway, outside of his room, making the two freeze. “Fuck,  _ fuck _ -”

“If they catch you with me, you’re dead too,” Sirius breathed, eyes wide, looking at the door. “Or not, wait - bollocks, are you pureblood?”

“I’m muggleborn, so yeah, I’d be dead,” he winced and Sirius cursed again, standing. “Go -  _ go under my bed _ -”

“ _ What - _ ”

“Just hide under my bed!” Elías hissed, pushing him into his bedroom, closing the door, looking at himself and quickly cleaning the blood from his clothes and knuckles magically, checking in the mirror to find that a bruise was already forming on his neck from Sirius’ rough handling and he just hoped that whomever came -

“ _ Elías! _ ” came a familiar voice, knocking hard on his door.

Fuck, it was Severus.

“Hold on! I’m not presentable!” he called, looking around, trying to find some sort of - of - of  _ anything  _ to cover his neck, fuck, shit -

“Black is in the castle!” Severus knocked harder and Elías cursed quietly, making sure the door of his bedroom was closed before the front door opened, Severus rushing in, hands finding Elías’ shoulders. “Are you alright?! The paintings said he was headed here! Have you seen him?”

“I think if Black had found me, I’d be pretty dead by now,” he chirped, trying to be lighthearted, hands moving to grip Severus’ wrists, squeezing for comfort.

“Didn’t you hear the alarms?!” Severus snapped at him, eyes worried. “You and Lupin didn’t show up, we were looking for you, the  _ lunatic _ has a bloody knife and tried to skewer Weasley!”

“What? Which one?! Are they okay?!” Elías played into it, leaning a bit against Severus so the wizard would step back a bit.

“Ronald Weasley,” Severus replied, holding his ground, frowning deeply. “Why didn’t you hear the alarm? And -” his hand reached over to lift Elías’ chin, making his heart skip a beat, breath hitching. Fuck. “...what happened to your neck?”

“We were out. In my home, back in San Fernando. It’s connected by the Floo Network,” Elías explained, pulling Severus’ hand away. “Remus came back a while ago but I met up with a friend, that’s why my neck…”

“Friend,” Severus repeated, dryly. “Who choked you?”

“He did a bit more than choke me,” he decided to go with, cocking an eyebrow, making Severus pull back as if burned. “Don’t worry, it was consensual. Can you stop looking at my neck now? You’re not allowed to shame me for what I enjoy if it’s harmless.”

“Doesn’t seem  _ harmless _ -”

“Hey! A little bit of choking is  _ nice _ , when you’re into it, y’know -”

“For the love of  _ Salazar _ , can you just  _ come with the rest of the staff _ ?!” Severus barked at him, face red, running a hand over it. “You’re  _ impossible _ . There’s a killer on the loose and you’re  _ still _ so calm!”

“I’m not  _ calm _ , I’m using jokes to deflect my fear! Haven’t you ever heard the term  _ defense mechanism _ ?” Elías rolled his eyes before he was hit with Severus’ dark scarf, again, reminiscent of that first game they went to together. “Oh, thanks,” he murmured, pulling it around his neck. “Er, can I stay and maybe -”

“No, let’s go,” Severus replied, moving to the door. “You’re not staying alone tonight.”

“I can defend myself -”

“Black is a good duelist, no you can’t,” Severus cut in and Elías thought Sirius was probably feeling very fucking smug about that, under his bed. 

“So what, you’re going to stay with me the whole night?” Elías threw back, trying to see the fastest way to get rid of Severus but instead he got an intense look and a nod, making Elías actually feel flattered, shoulders relaxing. 

“Come on, I - I don’t want you to stay here  _ alone _ . You’re the one closest to the main entrance of the castle,” Severus sighed and Elías nodded, biting his lip, not knowing how he would get Sirius out after he came back from the meeting with the rest of the staff.

“Alright, alright. I’ll go with you,” he sighed, moving to the door, wishing he could stay, ask Sirius  _ who did it _ , ask him all sorts of questions, make sure he ate something and was healed of any other wounds but Severus was pulling him out of his rooms and walking down the stairs, his hand pressed to Elías’ lower back. Elías thought it excessive but Severus seemed seriously disturbed - maybe that was what being scared of your highschool bully turned  _ murderer _ did to you. “Are you okay, Severus?” he asked. 

He wished he could tell Severus that Sirius was innocent but he’d tried before and it had been very poorly received. He didn’t think saying it again would matter until he had solid evidence. And the evidence was in Sirius’ testimony, which he hadn’t asked right away, fuck,  _ shit _ , Elías was such a fucking idiot. He could’ve solved the mystery.

“When did Lupin come back?”

“Hmm?” Elías looked over at Severus, their wands lit with powerful  _ lumos _ , walking at a fast pace through the hallways. “Oh, um, not too long ago. I was only, er, a few minutes with my friend,” he lied.

“You can tell me the truth,” Severus told him dryly, making Elías’ mouth taste like fucking bile as he began to build the stupidest alibi that would surely make Remus so uncomfortable, he’d never talk to Elías again. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Elías tried, not wanting to lose Remus but also needing to keep Sirius safe.

“Don’t take me for a  _ fool _ ,” Severus hissed, turning around, making Elías jump. “Lupin is the number one suspect when it comes to letting Black inside, did you know that? I know you think Black is innocent and that’ll get you  _ killed _ , but Lupin is good friends with him. He wouldn’t hesitate to go back -”

“Remus didn’t  _ let Black in _ ,” Elías defended, glaring, stepping closer to him.

“You said he came back before you, you don’t know what he did in that time,” Severus replied, looking abhorrently angry. “Let in a killer into the castle -”

“Remus  _ hates _ Sirius,” Elías lied, trying to sound convincing, feeling so fucking guilty about telling Severus just utter nonsense. “Remus would  _ never _ do that! He loves the students, he wants them to be safe!”

“Are you sure you know him as well as you think?” Severus challenged, stepping closer. “Or is your love for that werewolf  _ blinding  _ you to the obvious?”

“I know him very well, Severus, and Remus would never let a fucking  _ killer _ in!” Elías told the truth this time, stepping closer to Severus. “Remus is a good man!”

“A good man capable of  _ choking _ you while he  _ fucks _ you after he rejected your advances?”

Elías let out a garbled, startled, hurt noise, eyes wide and Severus looked away, hands shaking, furious.

“That wasn’t -” Elías tried but Severus sneered.

“He’s  _ rotten _ . Just like Potter, just like Black,” he stated, watching Elías. “Disgusting. He’s not a monster because he’s a werewolf, he’s a monster because of  _ who _ he is. And I don’t understand how you could love a man -”

“Okay,  _ first _ , I’m not in love with the guy, alright?” Elías cut in, feeling deeply wounded by Severus’ words, throat tight. “Second of all, he’s not fucking rotten. Was he an enabler and an absolute knobhead to you and others back in school? Of course he was! And people in the past have done awful things! Look at you, for example!”

Severus pulled a face, looking away.

“If I can let go of what  _ you _ , an adult to a teenager, did to me then why can’t you let go of what they did to you when you guys were just  _ kids _ ?” Elías asked quietly, making Severus almost lurch, looking slightly green. “You call him rotten, call him a monster. Well, he didn’t  _ fuck _ me, thank you very much for the crudety. He could’ve, you know? And I would’ve  _ gladly  _ let him -”

“Salazar’s Grace, just  _ stop _ ,” Severus grunted, finally looking at Elías, looking horrified. “He’s twelve years your senior and he doesn’t -”

“He’s a  _ good man _ -”

“He does  _ not  _ -”

“Why can’t you just see -”

“ _ Because he doesn’t deserve you _ !”

“Well, he doesn’t fucking want me, so we’re all good here!” Elías snapped, making Severus step back when the Spaniard pushed past him down the corridor. “Why the  _ fuck _ does everyone feel like they need to tell me what I do and don’t deserve? What I should or shouldn’t do? Hey, Severus,  _ hot take here _ , I can do whatever the  _ fuck _ I want and you can’t fucking stop me!”

“Did you fuck Lupin?” Severus asked and Elías wanted to  _ rip out his own hair _ .

“You know what? I’m not even going to fucking respond. If I did or didn’t, that’s my own fucking business. And his,” he told Severus angrily.

“You can’t -”

“I  _ can and I will _ , if it’s fucking consensual!” Elías turning around, Severus almost running into him. “What - what the  _ fuck _ is your problem? I’m not a fucking child anymore, Severus, I’m a grown ass fucking  _ man _ .”

“Someone took advantage of you, before,” Severus replied and Elías froze as the potions professor swallowed hard and rubbed his face, sighing. “I just - don’t want that to happen again. And go unnoticed,  _ again _ .”

“Nobody’s taking advantage of me, Severus,” Elías said, a bit softer, irritated at the way Severus went at it but understanding where he was coming from. “Gods -  _ Gods _ , you’ve got  _ so _ much to unlearn. This is  _ not _ the way to ask me. This is  _ not _ the way to ask anyone, ever, to take care of themselves and watch out. First of all, because  _ you _ have a grudge against Remus already, and I think that prejudice is doing you a disservice.”

“I just -”

“I  _ know _ you’re worried because I’m your friend, Severus,” Elías interrupted, hand moving to rest against his chest, over his black tunic, Severus pursing his lips tight. “But I truly am okay. Remus did not take advantage of me. I had perfectly consensual sex with a friend back in Spain. I came back and I did not see Black, he wasn’t in the Tower. I’m  _ okay _ .”

Severus sighed deeply again, hand moving over Elías’ for a moment before he nodded, murmuring under his breath, “I’m sorry,” as if saying it hurt. 

And to give Severus a breather, Elías did think that he was sorry, with his tilted head and the frustration in his eyes. It was frustration directed at himself, that Elías could see. Severus was trying to care, even if in a misguided manner that misconstrued his intentions. Elías had seen this already - he’d seen it in people who had been taught by others before them that the safety of the body was better than the safety of the heart, of the mind.

Elías didn’t know what kind of parents Severus had had, or still had, but he could guess that he’d learned that love was limiting and asphyxiating. That love was weakness, a wound open for everyone to see, to prod at. Severus was deeply affected by his past and he could scarcely move on from it, making Elías feel sympathy for the man. How many years worth of happiness had he lost because he had no one to talk to? No one to show him what real love was like, how real love manifested?

Elías remembered back when he’d had a bad relationship with his family and the mere thought of his teenage self brought out a hurt from a wound that could never truly close. But he’d chosen not to ignore it - Elías had chosen to acknowledge that it was there, that there were things that had left an impact in his life, his personality, his mental health, but that he couldn’t be defined by them. Not if he wanted to move on, to be happy.

He looked at Severus, walking beside him - lonely, quiet, angry Severus and realized that he reminded him of Harry, back in the Astronomy classroom. The way that boy had looked when Elías had told him that it was  _ okay _ to feel angry. To feel,  _ period _ . Had anyone ever told Severus that? Had anyone ever taken him aside as a child and let him work through his emotions? Or had they been stunted, like with Harry?

Elías sighed softly, hand slowly moving to Severus’, the man’s eyes snapping to his, surprised. And for a moment, as they slowed their walk into a pause, standing on a deserted Hogwarts corridor, illuminated by the late night moon, Elías felt like he could help him.

“I forgive you,” he told Severus softly, quietly, not wanting to break the surface tension of Severus’ emotions, instead gliding at the top, words like bugs on a summer garden pond. “I forgive you, Severus. For everything,” he squeezed his hand. “And I know I get angry. And I yell and I push and I act like a brat and I don’t - I think it was necessary at first but I don’t really think so now. Not anymore. I’ve changed my mind,” Elías muttered. “I decided to be your friend. And people - people don’t owe others growth. People don’t  _ have _ to help you if they don’t want to - working through trauma, through your past, through old wounds that never closed. It’s dirty work. It’s going to be hard. We’re going to yell a lot, you know?”

Severus just watched him, face more open than anything Elías had ever seen before, a deep anguish displayed openly in his black eyes. He looked morose, standing there against the moonlit windows with a shaky  _ lumos  _ spell.

“I’ve decided that I want to help you,” Elías said, his other hand brushing some of his unruly blond locks behind his ear. “If you want it, I’ll help you work through the pain.”

“How do you know -” Severus cleared his throat as his voice broke, looking down at Elías’ tattooed fingers on his hand. “How do you know I’m… salvageable? What makes you think that someone like you could… find something of worth in me?”

“Everyone can grow,” Elías replied, firmly, eyes unyielding. “Everyone can learn. It’s never too late to try, Severus.”

“I’ve never even tried,” Severus confessed, voice strangled.

“Well, you start at some point, right?” Elías smiled at him, bright and encouraging, trying to instill as much hope as he could, watching the other Slytherin look oddly kind at Elías. “You’ve already made changes. You ask for permission, now, much more often,” he began, making Severus swallow. “You care now, for me. Took the brunt of a potion for me. You came to look for me, too,” he felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath. “Severus, I don’t think you’re a lost case at all. It’s just a matter of… walking on.”

“But what if I get it wrong, like just now?” Severus asked. “What if I hurt -”

“Then you apologize,” Elías stepped closer. “And we move on, trying to be more aware of our words, how they affect other people.”

“You’re so sure of this,” Severus murmured, his hand on Elías’ twitching. “I was wrong,” he said, eyes roaming the Spaniard’s face. “I was wrong. You’ve changed.”

“I hope I have,” Elías told him, giving a small beam. “I always strive for change. For growth. I’m not as scared anymore. I’m not as angry anymore. I’m not… as sad anymore.”

“I’m glad,” Severus said, and Elías knew that he meant it. “I was wrong about you.”

“What part?” Elías asked, feeling Severus gently pull away from Elías’ grip and brush some of his half-dyed hair away from his eyes, so very softly, just a kind and caring gesture that it made Elías smile. 

But before Severus could answer, they heard voices on the end of the hall, reminding the two professors of the situation at hand. Severus quickly jumped in front of Elías but when the light shone further, he relaxed - it was McGonagall and Remus.

“Elías! Severus!” she gasped, rushing to them. “Thank Merlin you’re both alright! Did you catch him?! Did you see him?!”

“No, Minerva,” Elías sighed, shaking his head. “He wasn’t anywhere near us.”

“Dumbledore has called the search off,” Remus explained. “I told him that we were outside, Elías, and -”

“It’s okay, I know, it’s fine,” Elías shook his head. “We should stay here on Saturdays, from now on, I think. No more dinners somewhere else.”

“Agreed,” he pursed his lips, watching the scarf around Elías’ neck. “I think we should all keep an eye out tonight -”

“The patrols are over. Black isn’t anywhere in the castle,” Minerva sighed. “We should  _ all _ go to sleep, Remus. And you two as well.”

“I agree,” Severus sighed, wand hand lowering a bit. “The children are alright?”

“Yes,” Minerva pursed her lips. “That damned Longbottom! I sent a letter to his grandmother and I’m very sure that he won’t lose the week’s list of  _ passwords _ to the Gryffindor Tower again.”

“Fool,” Severus hissed and Elías rubbed his face.

“Sleep it is, then,” he murmured. “Have a good night, Minerva.”

“You as well, Elías,” she sighed, pulling her robe closer around herself before turning around, leaving for her rooms. Standing there, the only ones left were Remus, Severus and Elías, who all began to head back to their rooms - except Severus, whose closest entrance to the dungeons was on the other side.

“Not going to your rooms?” Elías asked him, confused.

“I said I wouldn’t let you be alone,” he cocked an eyebrow, very pointedly not looking at Remus whose face went through a fucking trip a the phrase. But Elías wasn’t focused on  _ that _ , he was focused on the fact that Sirius fucking Black was under his  _ bed _ .

“O-oh, well, I - you heard Minerva?” he attempted, flushing, feeling caught. “I - just - I mean, she said - that he was probably out, there’s no need -”

“Let me at least walk you to your rooms,” Severus lifted a hand, flicking Elías’ forehead, making the Spaniard blink with surprise at the affectionate little tap. “Stubborn fool. You’ll get yourself killed one day. Are you sure you aren’t a Gryffindor?”

“Don’t even  _ joke _ about that,” Elías fumed, sensibilities hurt. “No offense, Remus.”

“None taken,” he laughed, nudging Elías. “Come on, now - you could also give him the book you looked for back in San Fernando?”

“What book?” Severus asked, frowning.

“Oh, um - I thought it’d do you good to read a Russin novel that I really like,” Elías spoke up. “Remus helped me search for it at home - I haven’t organized my library in so long, it took us like, an hour?”

“And a half,” Remus laughed, nodding. “But we found it!”

“First in Spanish,” Elías nodded. “But then we found my English copy. It’s a bit - dog-eared? Hope you don’t mind.”

“You two searched for a book back in your home in Spain,” Severus stated, incredulous, tone flat. “For  _ me _ .”

“Well,  _ yeah _ ,” Elías shrugged. “We were talking about books -”

“Mostly just - muggle literature, which he’s making sure I read plenty of,” Remus pointed out, laughing as Elías elbowed his side for interrupting him.

“- and one in particular came out. I thought you ought to read it,” Elías waved his hand. “Just - you saw my rooms, it’s a disaster, let me get it myself. Don’t want you both to see my underwear all over my bedroom floor.”

At that, Remus glanced at Elías, knowing perfectly well that his bedroom had looked impeccable when they’d both come back from the beach. The door had been open wide to his bedroom. It’d been clean.

“Alright, fine,” Severus sighed.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow,” Remus waved, giving Elías a look that told him Remus was definitely not going to bed. Elías waved, hiding his face a bit as he mouthed at Remus  _ give it an hour _ and then climbed up to his rooms, heart in his throat. Severus couldn’t know, Severus couldn’t see, if he saw Sirius hiding in his rooms - fuck,  _ fuck _ , why the fuck had Sirius hidden in his rooms in the Astronomy Tower?!

“What’s the book?”

“Hmm?” Elías looked up, blinking at Severus as they both climbed the stairs. “Oh! Just - one of my favorites, actually. It portrays a very harsh perspective from a very unreliable narrator. When I was younger, it helped me understand why - why what happened to me,  _ happened _ , you know?”

“And you want me to read this book?” Severus frowned. “Why?”

“I think you’ll learn a few lessons from it. It’ll make you think,” Elías sighed, standing in front of his door. “Stay here, alright? I’ll bring the book out.”

“Alright,” Severus crossed his arms and waited as Elías entered his quarters, closing the door behind him and  _ rushing _ to his bedroom, throwing the door open as silently as he could and dropping to his knees on the carpet, looking down under his bed -

Sirius was gone.

“Fuck, shit,  _ fuck _ ,” Elías cursed into the mattress, frustration building within him. “Okay - okay, Elías, calm down. Calm  _ down _ . Just give Severus the book - the book and then you can - search for that  _ idiot _ ,” he breathed in, reaching over to grab the novel from the coffee table, moving to the door and opening it to see Severus glance at him. “Here! Here it is.”

Severus stepped closer, hand moving away from the crook of his arm to pluck the relatively small novel - with the original cover, of course - from Elías’ fingers. It was hardcover, green, with a simple, basic design - much better than the stupid Kubrick cover with the heart glasses and the lollipop, absolutely destroying the meaning of the novel.

“ _ Lolita _ ?” Severus frowned, turning the book seeing the back blank and opening it to find very yellow pages, some writing scribbled in. “You’ve taken notes in this book?”

“I like to write in books,” he nodded, tapping the novel with a small smile. “Hope you don’t mind, it’s my personal copy. Took a long time to find one that had the original cover.”

“I’ll return it when I’m done with it,” Severus gripped the book gently, looking a bit confused but also nodding at him. “I’ll take care of it, Elías.”

“Thank you, it means a lot to me,” he smiled, then paused, watching Severus. “Hey, um, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” Severus nodded, waving his hand at Elías.

“What did you mean by,  _ I was wrong about you _ ? What part did you mean?” he frowned, watching Severus look at him, thoughtful, looking like he was putting together the right words. He took a moment, sighing before moving a bit closer to Elías, hand moving to touch the scarf still around Elías’ neck, pulling it off, taking it back from Elías. Elías didn’t stop him.

“I was wrong about you,” he began, looking at the bruises around Elías’ neck, a bit worried, lips rolling. “Because I thought that you were like someone I knew. But you’re not.”

“You mean Lily?” Elías asked softly.

Severus nodded, sighing. “You’re not. At all. I was wrong and - and my perspective of you is completely shifting. I spoke to you, I handled you in a way that… truly shouldn’t have been that way. You are - you are now my friend, Elías. And I dislike the fact that the word always brings me back to  _ her _ . Because you’re not her, as much as I’d like you to -” he paused, frowning, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to be her, that was not what I meant.”

“Well, good,” Elías grinned, hand lifting to tap his nose with the tip of his finger. “You’re already learning.”

And, to Elías’ absolute surprise, Severus let out a little light chuckle, looking down at the floor, making Elías’ heart just burst at the seams from happiness. Unable to contain it, Elías stepped into Severus’ space and threw his arms around his neck, grinning into his shoulder, hugging him tightly. Severus this time didn’t just awkwardly pat his back but held him back, his nose brushing Elías’ hair and his heart stuttering against Elías’ ear.

“Alright,” Elías laughed, stepping back, smiling at him. “Goodnight, Sev. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he nodded, turning on his heel and walking off, tunic waving behind him, leaving Elías to shut the door and just -

“ _ Sirius, joder, JODER! _ ” he whisper-yelled, pulling at his own hair.

\- just freak out.

* * *

Remus arrived about an hour later, knocking faintly on his front door, Elías grunting with frustration as he opened the door of the washroom and called, “Come in!” through the sound of a record he was playing in the corner of his bedroom.

“What the hell happened?” Remus asked as he walked in before he suddenly paused, watching Elías struggle to get his vinyl gloves on. “What are you doing, what is all that?”

“Dye,” he replied, frowning deeply at the mirror as he took the bleaching powder and began to mix it with the developer. “I’m going to bleach my roots, redo my hair and gain some control over my life because apparently, I have none.”

“You saw him, didn’t you?” Remus rushed to the door of the washroom, watching Elías in a ratty, collar-bleached, multicolor stained shirt that was falling apart and nothing else, his legs bare for him to see. Remus, for a moment, could only focus on the intricate ship detailed over the swell of his thigh, in vivid colors, writing in Spanish over the sides of it. If Remus thought Elías had a lot of tattoos over his arms, it was  _ nothing _ compared to his legs. They was almost no room -

“Yeah, I fucking  _ saw _ him!” Elías snapped him out of his reverie, making Remus swallow. So that’s why Elías hadn’t wanted Severus to come back, there might have been some evidence. Or Sirius himself. 

But if Sirius was innocent, if he didn’t want to kill Harry, if he truly hadn’t been the Secret-Keeper… why had he walked into the Third Year boys’ room with a knife? Why did Elías’ neck look purpling and red, as if someone had… grabbed him? Remus was so confused and it didn’t help that Elías, instead of just using a hair-changing potion, was just putting some slop into his hair that smelled truly awful. Like cleaning potions, those deep-scrubbing ones.

“What happened?” he asked, taking a chair from Elías’ room and sitting by the door, sighing. “Just - just start from the beginning.”

“I came back to my rooms, after we returned,” Elías began, starting to apply the strange, pale blue substance to his hair with a flat, black brush. “And fucking - Sirius came to hide here for some stupid fucking reason -”

“Astronomy Tower is the only one that doesn’t have paintings,” Remus explained, eyes narrowed. “But he must’ve been desperate to come here - it’s basically trapping him. I think he was close to getting caught.”

“Well - he came into my  _ rooms _ ,” Elías scowled. “And when I walked in, he attacked me and you will excuse me, Remus, but I can and  _ will _ defend myself if I see just some shadow with a knife in my room, yeah?”

“Did you  _ fight  _ him?” Remus’ eyes widened, watching now his throat with different eyes. “Elías, are you al -”

“Yeah, yeah, we grappled and I broke his nose, left him bleeding all over my carpet,” he waved it off. “I healed his nose, asked him if he was training for the fucking stupid olympics and before we could talk for real, I heard Severus coming to my rooms. I could only tell him that I knew he was innocent, that I’m a Seer, and to hide under my fucking bed. When I came back, he was gone.”

“ _ Elías _ ,” Remus scolded, feeling his heart in his throat. “You  _ told _ him you’re a Seer?!”

“Yes! Otherwise he would’ve thought I was insane! Look, he was so relieved and he didn’t seem  _ out of his mind _ . He’s not gone off the deep end, Remus, but I think we’ve at least got another puzzle piece?”

“You don’t  _ say _ ?” Remus sighed, groaning deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Merlin, Elías, Snape is right. You’ve got the self-preservation of a Gryffindor.”

“If anyone else says it again, I won’t spare an  _ episkey _ later,” Elías said sourly, parting his hair to apply another layer of that foul-smelling thing. Remus was guessing it was bleach of some sort, changed and mixed with something else to make sure not to ruin his hair. 

“What… what did he say?” Remus asked quietly.

“He asked me why I wasn’t running away from him or why I wasn’t scared of a killer on the loose, which, honestly, just let me know that he is absolutely sound of mind? Which -  _ fuck _ , how can you do that after twelve years in Azkaban?”

“I don’t know,” Remus murmured but he felt utter  _ relief _ . That sounded like Sirius - nose broken, knife in hand, no plan, just rolling with the punches. If only Remus had stayed with Elías in his rooms - if  _ only _ he’d been able to see Sirius himself. Longing took over him and he looked at his own hands, trying not to think too hard about it.

“Hey, but good news - he  _ knows _ he has allies. We  _ know _ the one who betrayed everyone is at Hogwarts now and we should probably let Sirius know somehow that we  _ really _ need him to stop walking into the castle to  _ kill them _ . They could prove his innocence.”

“Inside the castle,” Remus murmured, swallowing, feeling simply  _ awful _ . Whomever could it be? “Is it a Gryffindor, then?”

“I suppose?” Elías frowned. “I - Minerva…”

“ _ Merlin _ , not Minerva,” Remus breathed, hand over his heart. “But why would he walk into the boys’ rooms? Fuck, just - it  _ really _ looks like he’s trying to kill H -”

“No,” Elías cut in, patting the slob on the roots on the side of his head. “No, he is  _ not _ . I assure you. Sirius fucking  _ cried _ me when I told him that I knew he was innocent.”

“He… did?” Remus frowned deeply, rubbing his face. “This makes  _ no sense _ . The more answers we get, the more questions arise. This is  _ impossible _ .”

“We’re a step closer, though,” Elías reminded him with a sigh, leaning a bit more forward to check if every spot was covered.

And Remus - gay as he could only be - felt his eyes move to Elías’ figure, the silhouette he made as the Spaniard arched his back, shirt riding up his thighs, letting Remus see his briefs, another tattoo that disappeared underneath them. The shirt pulled taut over his back and Remus felt his face and ears burn when he realized he was thinking about pressing his chest against it, face burrowing into Elías’ neck.  _ This isn’t the time to think with your dick, Lupin _ .

“Are you alright?” he chose to ask instead, eyes staying on Elías’ thighs despite trying to fight it. What was the tattoo that apparently ran over his hip? Remus wanted to know.

“I’m fine, I know how to fight without my wand,” Elías laughed. “Sirius didn’t. Poor guy. I honestly feel a little sorry - he tried to choke me, probably to make me faint, but I put him on the ground and broke his nose.”

“The fact that you apparently can fight with your fists is oddly terrifying,” Remus admitted, laughing a bit, leaning forward on his chair. “But really - are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll just wear a chunky necklace tomorrow, it’s fine,” he waved it off, then suddenly winced. “Severus did notice, though.”

“Oh,” Remus blinked. “What did -”

“I alluded to it being a sexual thing?” Elías let out a hysterical little giggle. “That I’d met with someone back in San Fernando -”

“You  _ what _ ?” Remus choked.

“What else was there to say?! There’s no other explanation!” he replied, panicky, making Remus groan loudly. “It’s either consensual or it’s an attack! Just as Sirius is out and about! I couldn’t let him know I’d been attacked  _ coincidentally _ the same night that Sirius is here!”

“So you told him that someone  _ sexually choked you _ ?” Remus asked, incredulous. 

“He thought it was you,” Elías snorted and Remus recoiled. “I know! I know! I let him know that it absolutely wasn’t you but  _ Gods _ , he really does hate you, Remus. I had to work through it with him until he understood.”

“I’d never choke you,” was the only thing Remus thought to say - or didn’t really think, because the phrase implied that he  _ would _ have sex with Elías and this really wasn’t the time to think about sex with Elías, it really  _ wasn’t _ . In no way. Not when he had… his legs out like that. As if Remus wasn’t dying inside, thinking of running his hands all over -

“Listen, Remus, I  _ bet _ you think you’re being a gentleman,” Elías cocked an eyebrow at him as he grabbed a bleach-spotted headscarf and worked it around his hair. “But if you didn’t, I’d be pretty disappointed.”

Remus felt his entire body burn at the implication, hand over his face, sighing deeply as he leaned back on the chair and Elías laughed wildly.

“Why are we talking about this?” he asked, raspy.

“Because everyone in England is a fucking prude, apparently,” Elías stood, slapping his shoulder on the way to the lounging area, making Remus look at Elías over his shoulder - and regret it immediately because he  _ still _ wasn’t wearing pants, fuck. “Live a little.”

Remus questioned it a bit, in his head - wondered how Elías’ sexual life was after… what happened to him. He seemed like someone who would focus on consent and focus on things that were safe, not… as wild as what he was implying. Or maybe he was choosing the path of overly thinking consent and -

This was  _ none _ of his business. He had no right to think about how a survivor of sexual abuse managed his sex life. Remus had never been through it and he would never understand the kind of relationship Elías had with his own sexuality so he shouldn’t ponder the what if’s of them. Especially because he’d never be involved in it  _ at all _ . He would never have sex with Elías because for one, the man was way too young for him and on the other hand, Elías  _ liked _ him. He’d be taking advantage of the bloke, it was nonsensical to -

“Remus?” Elías asked, sitting on the couch, watching him with worry. “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, I - I can drop that kind of talk if you dislike it.”

“No, it’s fine,” Remus sighed, moving to the couch as well, sitting down. “I shared rooms with seven other guys when I was sixteen. I  _ assure _ you that you’re not making me uncomfortable.”

“Good to know,” Elías laughed, and Remus noticed that the headscarf had a wave pattern on it, making him think of something easy to gift to him. “Tonight was a rollercoaster, huh?”

“Yes,” Remus sighed, stretching his legs, relaxing on the couch. “Did you give Severus the book, by the way?”

“Yeah, he’s got it,” Elías closed his eyes. “I hope it helps him.”

“I read it so long ago,” Remus murmured, head resting on the back of the couch, frowning. “Lily said she really didn’t like it but Alice did. I was… perturbed, to say the least.”

“It can be a disturbing book, yeah,” Elías murmured, watching the flames of the fireplace, making a face. “But also - cathartic, in a way?”

“How so?” Remus turned to him.

“Knowing that it’s so disturbing. Makes you feel like you’re on the right,” Elías whispered, looking pensive and Remus wanted to smooth the furrow of his brow with his thumb, so tempted to move closer but Elías has  _ no pants on _ . “To me, it was about… the prose. And how Humbert Humbert kept trying to justify it. It’s an exploration of - of what goes on in the minds of people who take advantage of others. Not - not just  _ pedophiles _ , I’m talking about those who abuse people and justify it by any means.”

“Did it help you?” Remus asked, quietly, not wanting to  _ go there _ . He never wanted to remind Elías of - of what happened.

“Well,  _ yeah _ ,” Elías winced. “At first it was… bad. But I began to uh, read it a bit obsessively? I saw the justifications and it made me feel awful. Because I knew that - that Fawley had looked at me and thought that  _ I _ was a nymphet.”

Remus felt bile rise up the back of his throat, uncomfortable, looking at Elías as he picket at holes on his ratty shirt. Grim Fawley had been on the newspaper not long ago, on the Daily Prophet, accepting a raise after helping in the arrest of a gang involved in the black market. An auror, a protector of the people, had done such a horrible thing without repercussions, praised and adored in front covers. He couldn’t even imagine what Elías was going through.

“To me,” Elías continued, making Remus move a bit closer as he heard his voice waver a bit, damn everything else, Remus’ hand moving to cover Elías’. “To me, the fact that in the end… he admitted to being the Pentapod. The monster that he really was… and he  _ regretted  _ it. It felt -” he sighed, blinking rapidly. “Oh man, we’re not on the beach, we shouldn’t talk about this.”

“It’s fine, Elías,” Remus told him softly, gently brushing away a stray tear with the back of his hand. “I feel… incredibly humbled that you trust me with this.”

“You trust me with a lot of other stuff, too,” Elías mumbled, rubbing his nose, turning to look at Remus. The smell of bleach was more potent, when Remus slid a bit closer and before he knew what was happening, Elías was throwing his legs over Remus’ lap, making his heart  _ stop _ . He couldn’t touch them. He wouldn’t touch them. Elías was talking about his  _ sexual trauma _ , this was no place to think about how soft the skin of his legs probably was. “I trust you, Remus, I - and you’ve got to be the first cisgender man I’ve ever trusted with this kind of stuff. You don’t - you’re not focused on what you can get out of me, you genuinely care.”

Remus felt his insides rot at the words and he kicked himself in the face mentally. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t - Elías wasn’t -  _ fuck _ , why did Elías trust  _ him _ , of all people? Remus felt so unworthy, holding this delicate thing in his hands, Elías’ trust and favor, the way the man leaned his face into Remus’ hand. And Remus, monster that he was, opened his claws and let his palm cup his cheek, freckled and a bit scarred with acne. He brushed his thumb through the texture of it, the imperfections of Elías’ face and Remus wondered if the reason why Elías felt a romantic impulse towards Remus was because Remus was the only man who cared about Elías and actually showed it.

“Thank you,” Elías murmured and Remus died inside as he felt his insides flutter.

“Thank  _ you _ ,” he replied, because he really didn’t think that he’d done much for Elías. “Is your neck alright?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t - Sirius was trying not to hurt me,” Elías explained, touching his now visibly bruised neck. “It was good to see him. He - looked really vulnerable but he looked…  _ fine _ , you know? A bit thin, a bit grimy, but he was joking around.”

Remus felt a smile take over his face, relief pouring over him, “He was?” he chuckled.

“Yeah,” Elías grinned back. “It’ll be fine, Remus. We’ll help him.”

Remus sighed deeply, closing his eyes, feeling his body melt a bit. “Such a relief.”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, looking at his watch. “Still some minutes until I’ve to take this off. And I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna do it in the washroom but it’s gonna be quite an adventure.”

Remus laughed, watching the headscarf, “What did you  _ put _ in your hair?”

“Bleach,” he replied, shrugging. “To do my roots. I kind of  _ like _ them? I want them to be seen, usually? But I’m dying my hair an outrageous color and I want it to look really nice, especially since my hair is so long now.”

“Yes, it’s grown a lot,” Remus pointed out. “To uh, your shoulders now? Do you want to cut it?”

“Probably will cut it soon, yes,” Elías nodded. “I’m thinking of an undercut.”

“Like - in the 40s?” Remus asked, so confused.

“Hey, it was nice a few years ago!” Elías laughed, shoving at Remus a little. “I like undercuts. I’ll do some design on the buzzed part or something, I don’t know. I just - I like to do crazy things with my hair. I couldn’t cut it for so long, couldn’t do  _ anything _ about it, that I just kind of go overboard, you know?” 

“You couldn’t cut it?” Remus frowned. “Why?”

“Oh, um - that was ma,” Elías told him, wincing. “Back then, she was uh… very strict? With what I wore, whom I was friends with, how I had my hair, my diet…”

“Oh,” Remus suddenly  _ realized _ , the pieces all coming together. “ _ Oh _ .”

The crazy hair, the tattoos, the multiple earrings, Elías’ emphasis on freedom, his outrageous shirts. He wore… whatever he wanted because he’d been unable to do it for the longest time. He remembered Sirius, how he’d developed this sense of - if he  _ could _ do it, then he was going to. That was the product of overly strict parenting, he supposed.

“Is that why you’ve so many tattoos?” he thought to ask, hand moving to touch the octopus tentacles on his calf, painted a rusty red. It had beautiful linework. 

“I guess it’s one part of it,” Elías hummed, lifting his leg up and Remus felt his cheeks go red as he leaned back, Elías’ shapely leg in front of him, clearing his throat, putting the leg back down over his lap, Elías laughing. “Sorry. But mostly, I just really fucking like tattoos, Remus. I love them so fucking much, they’re  _ great _ . Granted, they hurt a lot and they’re a bit awful to get but hey, it’s so worth it. It’s part of the whole body modification thing.”

“I can get behind that,” Remus admitted, yawning.

“You should go back to bed, Remus, it’s late,” Elías said softly.

“No, no, I’ll help you with your hair,” he insisted, patting his knee. “You said it’d be hard to wash this off, right? I’ll help.”

“Thanks, Remus,” Elías smiled brightly. “I’m dying it weird. It’ll be fun to see everyone’s reactions to it.”

“What color? Ginger?” Remus asked, thinking of the strawberry blond look Elías had arrived with and kept up.

“What? No, I dyed it red last time, that’d be boring,” Elías replied, adjusting his headscarf. “No, I’m dying it green.”

Remus blinked, watching Elías, thinking he misheard him, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Did I hurt your wizarding sensibilities?” Elías giggled, hand pressing to his mouth to muffle it a bit. He looked cute. “I said green! A deep forest green.”

“You’re joking,” Remus laughed back, a bit incredulous. “You’re a professor!”

“So what! Children don’t  _ care _ ,” Elías replied, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, they really don’t. They’ll either think it’s cool or ugly, big deal.  _ I _ want it to be green.”

“And you’ll do it because you want it,” Remus laughed, shaking his head, a bit in awe even though it was just  _ hair _ . “What if you dislike it?”

“I’ll shave my hair off, then,” he shrugged, uncaring, and Remus envied him.

He envied the way Elías put such little care in the things others would say, at least regarding his appearance. Maybe it was because he was transgender and at this point in life, things just didn’t matter to him as long as he was regarded as a man but - Remus admired it. He admired the way Elías spoke openly about his struggles to Remus, how he let himself be vulnerable, cry and feel. Remus had spent years with stunted emotions, thinking himself less of a man for it and for being  _ into _ men.

“Alright! Time to wash this all off!” Elías stood, clambering over Remus and over the sofa instead of just standing from it like a normal person, his hand on Remus’ face, making him laugh loudly. “Make way! Here comes the fun part, getting rid of the burn!”

“It  _ burns _ ?” Remus asked, standing and walking over, grabbing the same chair he’d used before. “Merlin, Elías, why don’t you just use a potion dye?”

Elías paused, blinking, turning to him as he took off his headscarf. “A what?”

“ _ Good Godric  _ -”

Remus and Elías ended up not sleeping, staying awake through the rest of the night to talk about lighter topics while they worked on Elías’ hair. At first Remus had felt a bit of trepidation when Elías had handed him the clippers, looking at the machine in his hand like it was about to eat him but pretty soon he calmed down when Elías reminded him of a hair-growth spell. Right. They could do that. And also re-decolor his hair after the growth.

He also ended up healing the bruise around his neck, rather than cover it up the muggle way. Remus didn’t know many healing spells but he did have an ointment back in his office, which he gave to Elías without a second thought. The Spaniard was thankful enough to actually take off the extra warmth enchantment on his room as they finished dying his hair and, when it was all done and Elías had his hair finished, he dried it with his wand and turned to Remus.

“So!” he smiled brightly, fingers running through his hair, the roots done in black and the undercut buzz dyed black as well. He’d kept the length of his hair, though, the one that hadn’t been buzzed and for a moment, Remus wondered how the  _ fuck _ he’d ever thought that green hair could look anything less than brilliant.

“It… looks so good?” he asked, confused, walking around Elías. “I mean, I - I could never wear something like this but you -”

“It’s the style,” Elías laughed, moving in front of the mirror and very obviously preening, looking like a peacock. “Oh, that’s - that’s some gender euphoria right there. That is  _ nice _ . I love it. I look  _ so _ good.  _ Hell yeah _ . Thanks, Remus!” he grinned over his shoulder at him and Remus nodded, sitting down, thinking of how Elías seemed to be on an absolutely different world than his own. 


	29. The Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little story has reached a 100 kudos!!! I can't believe this is real, I am so surprised and yet so flattered that any of you would take time off their day to read this self-indulgent thing that I didn't really plan. I love that you all think it's good and I can't wait to see where it all goes. Hopefully, you'll stick around till the end!
> 
> Lots of love
> 
> Also, content warning;  
> -Mentions of child abuse

“What on  _ Earth _ are you wearing in your  _ head _ ?!” Minerva gasped as Elías appeared on Sunday morning at the staff meeting, making everyone turn around and have different kinds of reactions, Flitwick nodding a bit and seemingly appreciating it.

“Green is a nice color,” Pomona pointed out and Elías laughed, grinning at her.

“Thank you, Pomona, I thought so as well,” he sat down on one of the couches, getting comfortable, Hooch sipping tea next to Elías.

“Is that a muggle haircut?” she asked, curious.

“More or less, yes. I just like dying my hair,” he explained, shrugging, and she nodded again. She was a simple woman, never too curious, never a gossiper. Elías liked her.

“Elías, you’ll give me a heart attack one day,” Minerva sighed, shaking her head and Elías felt  _ delighted _ that she was scandalized. Minerva was in many ways an older, maternal figure to a lot of students and he’d been one of them, before fifteen. To see her scandalized was oddly cute, like seeing his own mother clutch her pearls whenever he got a new tattoo. 

“I hope not, Minerva, I hold you at a very high esteem,” Elías told her with honesty, smiling at her and she gave a small smile back, turning to the door only for Severus to walk in and  _ pause _ when his eyes met Elías. “Morning,” he grinned.

Severus blinked at him, making Elías start giggling into his hand,  _ way _ too happy about this, the potions professor moving a bit closer with a cocked eyebrow.

“Is this what you do when you should be sleeping?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I do when I can’t sleep,” Elías grinned at him.

Severus rolled his eyes, shaking his head but Elías could note a little tone of fondness in the gestures, the Spaniard reaching for a cup and filling it with hot water, dropping a bag of tea in it with a hum. 

“So, this is about last night, about the four students who interrupted the Quidditch Game or about Longbottom?” he asked Minerva, who sighed deeply.

“All three of them,” Charity replied, frowning deeply. “Poor Filch has been up all night reinforcing the castle. All the entrances were covered but he  _ still _ managed to get inside. We don’t know how he’s doing it.”

“He  _ obviously _ knows something we don’t,” Severus pursed his lips, sitting down on one of the armchairs, eyes dark. “We must find him before he can harm any other students.”

“He only wants to harm  _ one _ ,” Septima pointed out, arms crossed. “And Potter isn’t allowed to Hogsmeade anyway, so the danger is  _ inside _ the castle.”

“One false move and that child is dead,” Hooch said and Elías felt his stomach churn. He knew that Sirius was innocent but talking about Harry dying was giving him such a headache. He had so much to live for.

“Gods, can we - not say things like that so bluntly?” he asked softly, making everyone turn to him as he rubbed his stubble. “I - it’s horrifying.”

“Sorry, Elías,” Hooch reached over to pat his arm, looking a bit guilty.

That was when Hagrid and Remus walked in, followed by Dumbledore, everyone looking up at the Headmaster, who sported a grim look on his face.

“Hello, everyone,” he called softly, Remus moving to sit beside Elías and Hagrid standing near the door. “I’m afraid I’ve got bad news,” the elder wizard sighed. “The Ministry of Magic has chosen to reinforce the grounds by setting up twenty more dementors.”

“ _ What _ ?!” Elías gasped.

“Albus!” Minerva called, standing. “They can’t do this! This is a  _ school _ !”

“I’m afraid they can, Minerva. And they will,” he sighed, looking around at the staff, pursing his lips. “I hope you all have practiced your  _ patronus _ thoroughly, my friends. We’ll keep the patrols to two people per night and if you see  _ any _ sign of Black, ring the immediate alarm. Do not call for me,  _ ring the alarm _ .”

A chorus of  _ yes, Headmaster _ rang through the room and Dumbledore nodded.

“Now, in other news,” he sighed, smiling a bit tiredly. “Senator Crabbe, Mr Goyle, Mr Malfoy and Mr Nott are on their way here. Severus has agreed to come and speak to them about their actions and what can be done for discipline.”

“Headmaster?” Elías called, making Dumbledore turn to him. “I’d like to be there as well, sir. I know those boys and I think I know what will work so they never repeat this mistake again.”

“Then you are welcome to join,” he nodded, making Elías smile softly.

“Thank you.”

“And also, a matter of Longbottom,” Dumbledore sighed deeper this time and Minerva pursed her lips. “I was under the impression that that was taken care of, Minerva?”

“Indeed,” she huffed. “That boy won’t get out of the castle for the rest of the year. And if he needs to enter the common room, may he do so with a House mate.”

“Sounds good to me,” Pomona muttered, but she looked sad. “I’m sure he didn’t mean -”

“Of course he didn’t mean it,” Septima pointed out, trying to appease Pomona. “But he  _ did _ make a very dangerous decision in the midst of all of this, Pomona, and he has to deal with the consequences. Because of his mistake, a student was in danger.”

“Don’t be too hard on the boy, that’s all I say,” she murmured, looking down at her cup of tea with a small frown. Elías reached over to pat her shoulder in a comforting manner, making her light up a bit. What a sweet woman, she cared a lot for that boy.

“Is there anything else anyone needs to say?” Hooch asked and the rest of the staff stayed silent.

“Very well,” Dumbledore nodded. “Severus, Elías - with me.”

The two professors stood and Remus mouthed  _ good luck _ at Elías, making the Spaniard give him a nervous little smile, following the Headmaster out of the staff room and into the halls. The morning light shone through the corridor to Albus Dumbledore’s office, the three of them silent, steps echoing, Elías watching the sky through the windows.

“Weather is starting to clear up, hmm?” Albus pointed out and Elías nodded.

“Next Hogsmeade trip may be free of rain, hopefully,” he replied and Dumbledore smiled, although sadness laced it. “How many dementors are there now around the school, sir?”

“More than none, which is already too much,” he whispered.

“We can fight the Ministry on this,” Severus spoke, making Elías turn to him. He looked as angry as Elías felt about the dementors. “This is a  _ school _ .”

“I already filed a complaint, Severus. I’m afraid there’s not much else I can do,” Dumbledore sighed. “Fortunately, no one form the student body or the staff has been injured yet -”

“ _ Harry Potter has been _ ,” Elías snapped, making Dumbledore look his way. “Are we just going to ignore that? That a kid fell off his broom and was attacked in the train?”

“Unfortunately, the Ministry made a compelling case defending the dementors. The Boy Who Lived has seen such horrors that they’re calling it an outlier,” Dumbledore told him, making Elías back off a bit. He’d been afraid that the Headmaster didn’t care but  _ no _ , it was fucking Cornelius Fudge  _ again _ . “I’m afraid I already fought that battle and lost, Elías.”

“This is  _ absurd _ .”

“This is  _ bullshit _ .”

Dumbledore turned around and Severus and Elías stopped, the both of them looking ready to fist fight the entire Ministry of Magic. Dumbledore gave them a smile, hand moving to grip Severus’ arm gently.

“You both are doing a good job of protecting the children,” he told them. “But I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do against the Prime Minister. All we can do is keep it together and reinforce the security we already had.”

Elías made a noise of frustration and Severus echoed him, the two Slytherins following after Dumbledore, waiting for him to unfold the stairs before climbing up, Severus right behind Elías. That was when Elías realized that he would meet Theodore’s father and see Lucius again. And Vincent’s father, Mr Crabbe. All these boys… and their parents, the root of everything.

He almost hesitated, heart jumping to his throat but before he could even feel a dredge of panic, he felt Severus’ warm chest against his back, lips brushing the shell of his ear.

“I’m right here, do not hesitate,” he whispered, making Elías swallow, suppressing a shiver. He had to do this for the kids. He’d come here in the first place to gauge how they reacted, how their parents reacted, how he could keep them safe. A prank was one thing but child abuse was another.

“I’m scared,” he confessed, turning his head slightly, the two pausing within the staircase, Dumbledore walking out already. “I’ve never been -”

“Do you trust me?” Severus asked quietly and without hesitation, Elías replied.

“Yes.”

“Think of them the way you’d think about Dumbledore,” Severus’ hand slithered down Elías’ side, gripping his waist, pushing him forward and Elías robotically walked. “They’re here to talk about their children, they’re not expecting  _ you _ . You’ve the advantage. Rip the carpet under their feet. Don’t let them know what you’re thinking.”

“Severus -”

“I’m right  _ here _ , Elías,” he repeated, squeezing Elías’ waist and the musician’s head spun a bit, feeling warmth run from his belly, stuttering in his steps before they exited the staircase, Severus’ hand moving away as Dumbledore opened the double doors of his office, empty for now. 

“Now, Elías, Severus,” Dumbledore looked at the cuckoo clock on the wall, next to the painting of Phineas Nigellus Black. “Would any of you like some lemon drops?”

“No, sir,” Severus wrinkled his nose a bit but Elías gladly accepted one.

“Thank you,” Elías smiled a bit. He really did love anything with lemon in it and he popped it into his mouth, sighing quietly. “When are they due?”

“Just fifteen minutes,” Dumbledore explained, sitting behind his desk, watching Elías from over his half-moon glasses. “How have you been, Elías? We haven’t spoken in a while.”

“I’ve been good, Headmaster,” Elías gave him an honest smile, sitting down on one of the stairs while Severus simply moved around the office, patiently waiting. “Making friends, teaching kids, trying to steer some Slytherins into the right path. You know.”

“I have seen that, yes,” he looked amused, eyes flickering to Severus. “And apparently, you two have solved whatever feud was between you, hmm?”

Severus turned his head a bit and grunted in lieu of an answer, making Dumbledore laugh and Elías snort a bit, watching Severus a bit fondly. He really did like the man, it was only - a bit hard to start, is all. And he was starting to change and  _ be _ better. He was trying.

“We have indeed,” Elías leaned back on his chair a bit, crossing his ankle over his knee. 

“And you’ve changed your hair.”

“Couldn’t sleep last night, so I did something to take my mind off things,” he shrugged, turning to Dumbledore. “Be honest, do you like it?”

“I do,” he nodded and Elías nodded back, grinning. 

Albus may be a war general sitting in a school desk but at least the man had good taste.

“The kids,” Severus spoke up, making the two other wizards glance at him. “Where are they?”

“Coming here, I suppose,” Dumbledore hummed. “Unless they fell asleep.”

“I don’t think they did,” Elías said, watching the stairs as they shifted, Severus moving to stand beside Dumbledore’s desk, adopting a stern look. Elías would as well but he didn’t need the kids to get even more scared. He was sure they were terrified.

When the kids climbed up to the office, Elías could see that he’d been right - they were pale and shaky and they looked ready to step into their funeral. Draco was the only one who was mildly unshaken but Theodore and Vincent both looked the worst - poor Theodore. He looked like he hadn’t slept.

“Good morning, boys,” Elías spoke up first before Dumbledore and Severus could, the four of them looking up and where Elías had expected to see some relief, he just saw - guilt. And shame. And more shaking. It took him aback, the fact that these kids weren’t comforted and he immediately felt his throat close up.

This wasn’t what he wanted. This wasn’t what was supposed to -

“I hope the four of you have thought about what you did,” Dumbledore began, not kindly, and they all trudged into the office with varying faces of horror. “We will have a talk, find a punishment for your actions and see if you’ve learned anything.”

A chorus of  _ yes, Headmaster Dumbledore _ ran through and Elías pursed his lips, brow furrowed, wanting nothing more than to round them up and talk to them, just -  _ talk _ to them. He’d been watching them make fun of Harry, bother and insult him, mock his friends and Hagrid and Remus and Elías wanted nothing more than to just fucking  _ tell them _ that it wasn’t  _ okay _ . He should’ve done this earlier. He should’ve put a stop to it the moment he saw it. But he hadn’t had the relationship he had with the kids  _ now _ .

Elías looked at Severus for some sort of help, some sort of guidance, biting his lower lip and Severus gave him a look that said  _ keep it together _ . Elías closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, let it out. He calmed himself down, reminded himself that these kids had been under the care of their parents for years. Even though they didn’t have to, they still knew the ins and outs of their parents. They’d survive this.

After a moment, the fireplace in Dumbledore’s office illuminated and in strolled Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, the both of them wearing elegant robes, Elías a bit stunned at how absolutely gorgeous Narcissa was with her dark hair and grey eyes. Grey eyes. Like Draco, like Sirius. The mark of the Black family.

“Good morning, Lucius, Narcissa,” Dumbledore greeted, the two of them walking with clicking heels and an aristrocating tilt to their chin. 

“Good morning, Headmaster Dumbledore,” Lucius gave a cold smile. “I’d be glad to see you were it not for the circumstances.”

Lucius had his cane with him today and, for a moment, Elías dizzily wondered if he’d ever used it against Dra -

The head of the cane, a silver snake, came to rest on Draco’s shoulder and the kid barely jumped, instead swallowing as he looked over at his parents, looking guilty. Relief washed over Elías, realizing pretty soon from the looks his parents gave him that Draco was very far away from having that problem. But that relief didn’t last long.

Paschal Philip Nott stepped into the room, wearing dark blue robes, his long brown hair almost falling over his eyes as he moved towards the crowd where the students sat. Theodore was pale, so pale, watching his father approach and Elías recognized that the both of them had the same eyes, the same hair color, that same chin shape. But Paschal had a - a  _ look _ in his eyes full of cruelty and malice that Elías could already see. 

“Good morning, Paschal,” Dumbledore greeted and the man nodded curtly, moving behind his son like the Malfoys, his hand shooting out to grip Theodore’s shoulder tightly. Unlike Draco, Theodore jumped, eyes shut tight and Elías fought the urge to rip that hand away from Theodore, sweet Theodore, so confused by red dwarves and light speed and the simplest equations, so bad at math yet so unbelievably sweet when he got the answer right, so soft when he asked Elías to play a song after every lesson. 

Finally, Senator Crabbe and Mr Goyle walked in, the two of them tall and imposing, Gregory looking at his lap while Vincent hid his shaking hands on his uniform pockets. Elías wanted to gather the kids, move between them, move so - so that he could protect them, this wasn’t  _ right _ . 

“Finally we’re all here,” Dumbledore spoke. “Very well. Let’s talk about what your sons have done,” he stood, hands on his desk, and Severus moved to sit beside Elías, almost startling him. Severus was surely trying to calm him down, fuck, had he noticed? Had any of the parents noticed that he wasn’t calm? “During the Quidditch Match yesterday afternoon, the four of them decided to play dress up and hinder the work of the Gryffindor Seeker, Harry Potter, after he’d been attacked twice by Dementors. Fortunately Mr Potter was ready for a Dementor attack and cast a full-body patronus, revealing these four young men to be the perpetrators. Mr Malfoy, part of the Quidditch Team, knows perfectly that if Gryffindor were to lose, they’d be out of the Quidditch Finals. This is an egregious violation of school spirit and school rules and thus, a punishment shall ensue.”

“How  _ could _ you?” Narcissa began, making Draco wince. “Dressing up as a dementor?! To scare Potter?! You’re a good Seeker on your own! You don’t need dirty tricks to win the cup!”

“Your lack of faith in your own skills does not excuse your actions,” Lucius hissed at his son and Draco lifted his shoulders, hunching them, trying to appear small.

“I-I…” he stuttered. “I didn’t - I just -”

“We thought it’d be funny,” Gregory supplied, earning a flick of his ear from his father, which in these circumstances, Elías almost jumped at. He’d almost expected a slap. “I’m sorry!”

“We’re very sorry,” Vincent nodded, bowing his head.

“It was so stupid, it - it was a joke!” Draco tried to explain. “Potter fainted -”

“If you spent more time improving your skills as a Quidditch player as you do thinking of  _ Potter _ , maybe Slytherin would be on the lead,” Severus interrupted, making Draco’s entire face turn red, quickly looking away, Elías blinking at the new discovery. “This is a matter of  _ foul play _ and fortunately, Minerva McGonagall has been gracious, and has let Slytherin stay in the game. You will not be participating in the next one.”

Draco’s head shot up, eyes wide. “What?!”

“You’re out of the team, Mr Malfoy,” Severus said firmly, making Elías wince - it was fair, though. It was very fair. He still felt a bit bad for the kid.

“No!  _ No _ ! I’m sorry!” Theodore suddenly interrupted, rushing to stand between Severus and Draco. “It was my fault! It was  _ my _ idea! I was the one who suggested it!”

“ _ Theo  _ -” Vincent’s eyes widened and the kids looked at Paschal Nott, who looked  _ murderous _ as Theodore spoke up, Elías’ heart in his throat. 

“It was me! It was me, I - I roped them into it! Please don’t kick Draco out, he’s - he’s been training so hard! It was all me -”

“Sit  _ down _ , boy,” Mr Nott snarled, grabbing the child and placing him back on the chair, Theodore freezing, obeying, eyes wide. Elías’ hands shook but he pressed them to his lap. “Of  _ course _ you did. You’re a miserable student with nothing else to  _ do _ than to ruin your  _ friend’s _ chances at succeeding where  _ you _ failed.”

“In that case,” Dumbledore spoke up, almost cutting Mr Nott off, his eyes on Severus. “I believe this is your choice, Severus.”

“So it is,” he crossed his arms, watching the four boys and Elías decided to speak up, then.

“I say,” he began, making Severus’ eyes snap at him. “That they begin by apologizing to Harry Potter and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. After all, they had all the intentions of ruining that game. Apologies are in order.”

“I quite agree,” Severus pulled a face, turning to the students. “But I think if they’ve time to think of vulgar, senseless  _ pranks _ , then they’ve the time to  _ clean the dungeons _ during every Sunday afternoon, don’t they?”

“Yes! Yes, sir,” they all seemed to agree, nodding.

“Surely my  _ son _ ought to have a different punishment,” Mr Nott curled his upper lip, making Elías almost snap at him. “After all,  _ he _ had the idea. Didn’t you,  _ Theodore _ ?”

“Y-yes, sir,” he nodded, shakily.

“Saturdays,” Elías spoke up, making everyone look at him. “Saturdays you will help me calibrate all the astronomy tools within the tower. Every Saturday at six o’clock. Am I understood, Mr Nott?”

“No more Hogsmeade?” he asked, looking miserable, and Elías hated to do this but he had to appease Mr Nott before he could do further damage.

“No more Hogsmeade for you, Mr Nott,” Elías nodded, crossing his arms. “Let that be a lesson to all of you - unsportsmanlike conduct is always paired with insecurity and fear of the opposing team. Do you truly have that little faith in Slytherin? Do you  _ truly _ believe that we cannot win out of brazen talent alone?”

“We -” Gregory tried but his father cleared his throat, making him quieten.

“I’m disappointed in all of you,” Elías said quietly, making the kids  _ sink _ in their seats. 

The rest of the meeting was a discussion of grades and the lasting effects this would have on their record, and Elías spoke of Theodore’s bettering grades, along with Draco’s in Astronomy. That, he could praise, but it hardly did anything once the meeting was over and everyone stood and somehow, Elías knew that the kids  _ then _ were in danger.

Without panicking, smoothly turning towards the kids, Elías approached the door and called their names, making them all look up.

“To demonstrate how you’re willing to change,” he began, cocking an eyebrow, trying to imitate the way Severus looked bored. “Why don’t the four of you come with me and start helping me clean the Astronomy classroom, hmm?”

“Yes, sir,” they all chorused, rushing towards him, Theodore looking desperately relieved as his father’s hand moved away from his shoulder.

Severus spoke with Lucius in a low tone and Elías was herding the kids through the staircase when he looked back and his eyes met Paschal’s, finding them full of knowing hatred, the kind of absolute disgust that he used to see in certain Slytherins back when he’d been studying under this roof. Elías felt it like a punch in the gut, still, but he pursed his lips and followed the children down, hearing the floo network being activated.

“Professor Fernández -”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he cut Vincent off, furious. “ _ Move it _ . I can’t  _ believe _ the nerve you four have. I’m going to have some serious words with you once we get to the Astronomy Tower. I am  _ so _ disappointed.”

“We’re so sorry -”

“ _ At the Tower _ ,” he insisted, walking away from the office, heart racing. “We’ll talk at the  _ Tower _ .”

The kids stayed silent and Elías guided them from the back, still tense, wishing Severus was beside him but pretty soon, as he turned the corner on the fifth floor, he saw Remus waiting by the doors arch leading to the Astronomy Tower, making him sigh in relief.

“Elías,” he called, looking over the kids, the four Slytherin making faces of distaste at the man and he was tempted to tell them to  _ stop being classist _ . But Gods, they didn’t know better. It wasn’t their fault. “Is everything alright? How did it go?”

“It went well,” he sighed, giving a frown. “They’ll help me clean the classroom today. And I’m hoping they’ve learned their lesson.”

The kids said nothing and Remus sighed a bit, looking over at Elías, “Can you handle it, then?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he replied, sighing as well. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“See you at lunch,” Remus squeezed his shoulder in encouragement, leaving, and Elías climbed the stairs a bit easier.

Once the five of them were in the classroom, Elías sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, closing the door behind them and pointing at the desks.

“Sit down. The four of you. I want to have a talk,” he began and the children clambered to their seats, sitting perfectly, backs straight and faces wavering with a bit of fear. But Elías didn’t want to rule a classroom with an iron first, so he leaned against his desk instead of standing behind it, running a hand through his freshly cut and dyed hair. “Now, would any of you mind telling me who’s the  _ real _ genius who had the idea of  _ dressing up _ as dementors to interrupt a Quidditch game?”

“Me -”

“Sit  _ down _ , Theodore, I know it wasn’t you,” Elías sighed deeply, looking at the rest of the kids, frowning.

“It was me,” Draco finally spoke up, swallowing. “Me, I… I did it.”

“Well, I hope you understand what you’ve done yesterday, Draco, and you learn that everything you think has no consequences,  _ has consequences _ ,” Elías told him sternly, watching his head sink down. “Just -  _ what were you thinking _ ?!”

“It was Potter -”

“Harry Potter is  _ not worth your time _ if it means you get kicked out of the team and you put your friends in danger! Don’t you four understand what’s going on?!” Elías called, voice ringing in the classroom. “There’s a  _ killer on the loose _ , Draco! Haven’t you seen enough dementors?! Hasn’t  _ anyone _ ?! Dementors are no laughing matter! Harry Potter saw his parents die at the hand of You-Know-Who and he sees that every time a Dementor gets nearby!” he snapped, making Draco’s face go white. “Not so funny now, is it?!” 

“Sir -” he choked. “I-I didn’t know -”

“That’s why you never bully anyone! Ever!” Elías called, standing fully, the kids all watching him with wide eyes. “I have been sitting here, watching you all bother and pick on others, thinking that if I just gave you kindness and a little bit of love, you might change ways, but I see that I’m wrong!” he told them and paused when he saw Theodore pressing his hand to his eyes. Elías took in a deep breath, letting it out in a long sigh before he sat down on the floor, between their desks. “Come here,” he said, much softer, patting the floor.

The Slytherins all looked at each other, Theodore’s eyes wet, and they all moved to sit down in front of Elías, next to him, forming a little circle between the safety of their desks, out of sight from the door and the windows.

“I think you’re all good kids, deep inside,” Elías told them, hand moving to Theodore’s hair, gently petting it until the kid looked up, tears gathering. “I think you all are very sweet. You worry about each other, you help each other, you laugh and joke and you make an effort to pass your classes. You train hard for your team, Draco, and Vincent - I heard McGonagall say that you’ve been better than ever in Transfiguration. Gregory, you and Pansy - you were so worried for Theodore. And I get it, I understand that there are things going on outside of this classroom.”

He shifted in his spot and pulled out a handkerchief, handing it to Theodore, Draco wrapping his arm around Theodore’s shoulders.

“I care about you all. I care  _ so much _ that it hurts me when you do these things,” Elías whispered, making Gregory and Theodore wince. “It doesn’t matter how normal you see it, how much you think you can get away with - bullying others to feel powerful is horrible. I won’t tolerate it. Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir,” they all replied in varying tones.

“Getting into trouble only made Theodore have to see his father again, was that what you all wanted?” Elías asked them and Theodore tensed while the others shook their heads, reaching for their friend. “I am not your enemy,” Elías stated. “I am not an adult who is ready to scream at you. I am not an adult who wants you to be someone else that you’re not. I am your  _ professor _ ,” he said firmly. “I am here to  _ teach _ , to  _ protect _ and to  _ help you grow _ .”

There was silence, the four friends looking at Elías with different feelings, different faces that Elías interpreted as a change in their perspective.

“Do not pull pranks,” Elías told them, deadly serious. “It’s fine to kid around with each other, I understand if you want to prank Blaise and let him laugh it out but when you maliciously try to hurt someone? Both physically or emotionally? That’s  _ bullying _ . And that makes you  _ bullies _ .”

It hit right home, that one, making Theodore swallow and seemingly wanting to hide. Elías sighed, hand rubbing his stubble for a moment.

“Just promise me you won’t do anything so stupid again,” he begged them.

“We promise,” Gregory quickly said, nodding, and the rest followed before Draco spoke up.

“We… didn’t mean to disappoint you,” he whispered and Elías looked surprised at him. “Are - do you -”

“Do you still like us?” Vincent asked, voice strained and Elías felt his heart break, unable to help the quiet noise he let out.

“Of  _ course _ I do,” he gasped out, arms moving apart and pretty soon he had the four of them hugging him on the floor of the Astronomy classroom. “Of course I do, I  _ do _ , oh my Gods, I  _ do.  _ Guys, I’ll - I’ll get  _ mad _ at you for these type of things but I’ll  _ never _ stop caring!”

“Even if we fail Astronomy?” Theodore rasped.

Elías hugged him tighter, knot in his throat, feeling his eyes burn. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t  _ fair _ for these kids. How many times had they been dismissed for their failures, learning to hide them, to act out, to suppress their own feelings because of it? How many times had they been hit with neglect, words that followed a cold treatment?

“Even if you fail  _ every _ class,” he whispered to them, kissing the top of Draco’s head, trying not to cry. “I will always,  _ always _ be there for you, kids. Always. I promise I won’t ever abandon you.”

He heard Vincent suck in a sharp breath and Elías’ hand came down gently to pet his head, trying to comfort them all for a moment, letting them cry it out, hug it out, feel a little bit better after such a big reprimand and such an awful morning.

When they all finally pulled away, Elías could see that they all had been crying. Well, good. A nice cry always helped. He stood, helping the other students up and Theodore rubbed his face hard, trying to get rid of his tears. Gregory quickly pulled out some tissues, making Theodore smile at him gently.

“Very well,” Elías sighed, hands on his hips. “I hope you’ve all learned your lesson today. And I won’t supervise, or follow up, but I’d really like it if you did apologize to the entire Gryffindor and Ravenclaw Quidditch team. This is as important to them as it is to you, and I’m sure you’d be devastated if someone had pulled a prank on you during one of  _ your _ games.”

“Yes, sir,” Draco nodded and the rest followed, looking serious and honest. 

Elías relaxed, laughing a bit as he rubbed at his own eyes.

“You guys are going to  _ kill _ me with worry,” he pulled on Gregory’s ear a bit making him pout, rubbing the sore spot. “Go.”

The four kids turned to him, surprised.

“Weren’t we going to clean the classroom?” Draco asked.

“It’s fine. Come on, go! Get on with your morning!” he bid, making them all smile and rush to the door - not before Theodore paused, turning around. “Theodore, what -”

Elías’ breath was knocked out of him as the boy hugged him tightly around his middle, making Elías freeze for a moment, his hands up, not knowing what to do with such a sincere gesture from an otherwise emotionally stunted thirteen year old boy.

“Thank you,” Theodore whispered quietly. “Thank you for - not letting my father -”

“You’re welcome,” Elías breathed, finally returning the hug, swallowing. “You’re very much welcome, Theo,” he pulled back, ruffling his hair. “Go with your friends. And do  _ not _ get into more trouble.”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded, smiling before rushing away.

The moment the kids were finally gone, he let his shaking hands drop on a desk, wheezing, panic swelling within him for a hot second before it disappeared. He felt crushed, underneath it all, his head and heart hurting so very thoroughly. Eyes burning, Elías pulled his hand over his mouth, watching the wood, trying not to cry too loudly as tears pooled on the desk, his shoulders shaking.

Dizzy and ears ringing, he didn’t notice Severus coming in until the man had a hand on his shoulder, pulling him up, making Elías almost fall backwards.

“Elías -”

“I can’t do  _ anything _ ,” Elías gasped through his own sobs. “I couldn’t do  _ anything _ and I’ll h-have to watch T-Theo  _ leave _ in the s-summer back to h-him - a-and even if I t-took it to c-court I'd n-never _win against Nott -_ "

“You did well,” Severus told him, lifting Elías’ chin up with gentle fingers, Elías quickly getting a grip on the front of his robes before he could fall to the floor. “You got the kids out as soon as you could, you taught them a lesson still, and they won’t ever do that again.”

“I was so scared,” he confessed, eyes wide, watching Severus.

“I was, too,” Severus told him, quietly, making Elías’ heart stop. 

“Y-you?” he questioned, surprised.

“Mr Nott is volatile. And so is Senator Crabbe. I knew you’d be there and you’d be watching and I didn’t want them to know that you’ve a heart,” Severus explained. “I didn’t want the kids to be in danger.”

“How do you  _ do this _ ?” Elías sobbed. “Watch them just take and take and  _ take _ without anyone ever doing  _ anything _ to stop it?”

“I didn’t care,” Severus replied, swallowing, making Elías let out a frustrated noise, wrinkling Severus’ robes in his fists and beating on his chest once - 

Severus caught his wrist gently, not closing his hand around it, giving Elías an out. Elías paused, looking up at him and Severus pursed his lips, “You’re so emotional…” he sighed, and Elías felt the sting of dysphoria take over him, recoiling. “It’s not  _ bad _ to be emotional,” Severus told him before Elías could speak. “I’m simply…  _ unused _ to it. I do not know how to deal with it, when you’re like this.”

“I don’t know  _ either _ ,” he sniffled, rubbing his wet cheeks, stepping back and fanning himself to get rid of the heat suppressing him. “Gods.  _ Gods _ , I hate this.”

“To be fair,” Severus spoke up, leaning against the column near Elías, watching him. “You did very well back there. Narcissa asked about you, she was quite curious.”

“Was she?” Elías asked, a bit sardonic, moving to get his wand from his desk, cleaning his face with a wave of it, sighing as he turned back to Severus. “What did she say?”

“She asked if you were the new Astronomy professor and I said yes,” Severus spoke, moving forward and looking over Elías’ now dry face. “She also asked if she could invite you for tea, next weekend.”

Elías blinked, “I - I’m sorry?”

“Tea,” Severus smirked. “At the Malfoy Manor.”

Elías was  _ reeling _ , trying to catch up, laughing a bit hysterically. “She’s kidding, right? Joking? Was that sarcastic and you didn’t catch it?”

“No,” Severus seemed amused. “No, it wasn’t. Are you going?”

“Am I  _ what _ ? Are you insane?!” Elías asked him, hands flailing. “They’ll kill me the moment they learn I’m a muggleborn!”

“They already know,” Severus replied, lifting a hand and brushing some green locks from his face, putting it behind Elías’ ear, the gesture making Elías flush a bit. He still wasn’t used to these things - with Remus, yes, but not with Severus. 

“They know?” Elías asked quietly.

“Yes,” Severus paused, eyes leaving Elías’ for a moment, watching his desk instead. “I… I introduced you as a friend.”

Elías felt a smile take over his face, moving a bit closer to Severus, “Aww, Sev! Did you?”

Severus rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching, “Yes, I did.”

“Are you coming? To tea with… Narcissa?” he asked.

“If you want me to,” Severus replied.

“I do,” Elías said nervously, making a face. “I… I really don’t want to be alone there.”

“There will be no one else - just the Malfoys, you and I,” Severus explained. “A formal invitation will arrive.”

“ _ Formal invitation _ ?” Elías’ mouth went dry. “Fuck, do I gotta dress up?”

“Not necessarily,” Severus shrugged. “Unless you want to send a message?”

“I do,” Elías nodded.

“Which one?”

“That I care about their son’s safety and wellbeing,” he said firmly, making Severus’ eyebrows shoot up. “I care about the children over pettiness and old loyalties. I care about them over Slytherin, Gryffindor, Dumbledore and Voldemort. I don’t give  _ two shits _ about anything else. Just them - safe and sound. Free of fucking - loyalty cults and pureblood necessities.”

“Strong message,” Severus whispered, scanning his face, Elías standing firm. “Very well. Dress as you always do.”

“Really?” Elías asked, eyebrows up.

“Really,” Severus nodded, finally leaning back, away from that bubble of a conversation that they’d created, making the moment pop. Elías realized they’d been standing very close. “I’ll let her know that you accept. She’ll still send you the invitation.”

“Alright,” Elías sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Silence ensued and Elías realized that lunch was about to begin, starting to move towards the door when Severus reached out and gently stopped him, making Elías turn around, curious as to what else he had to say. Only Severus said nothing, merely lifting a hand and taking a single lock of his black and green hair, inspecting it. Elías crossed his eyes trying to see his fingers, smiling a bit lopsided when Severus let his hair go and murmured -

“Green looks good on you.”


	30. Secrets Aired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for:
> 
> \- Discussions of the book Lolita, with all its implications  
> \- Discussions of sexual abuse/assault  
> \- Discussions of self-harm   
> \- Discussions of child abuse   
> \- Mentions of racism/xenophobia/white supremacy

The following week began with the castle being secured by the staff - mostly Filch - and the students deciding that even though it was March and it was starting to get warmer, being closer to dementors was not something they were willing to risk. And so as the weather began to clear up, everyone started to gather by the courtyard or the entrances of Hogwarts instead of the terrains, taking lunches and breakfast there to be shared - most of everyone, of course, except a little troupe of green and silver clad friends.

“Can we just… stay here?” Theodore asked Elias after a morning class on Wednesday, making him blink as the Third Year Slytherins looked over at the wide space outside, where the sun shone into the stone of the Astronomy Tower top. Where Remus and Elias had celebrated New Years. “We won’t do anything weird!” he promised as Elias seemed confused. “We just - don’t want to risk the dementors? We just want to hang out.”

“You want to hang out by the class?” Elias chuckled, giving him a small smile before shaking his head a bit fondly, working to get one of his telescopes aside to clean it after use. “That’s absolutely fine just - do remember that I had to attempt a potion this Friday yet again and I need to study, alright?”

“We won’t make much of ruckus,” Pansy told him, grinning as she grabbed Theodore’s hand and pulled him outside, the teens all gleefully taking in the sun and this newfound privacy.

Elias smiled at the sight, watching them all get comfortable as he pulled out the cleaning kit in the supply closet, starting to pull apart the telescope so he could make sure it was perfectly clean. He watched the kids as he did, feeling a bit lighter as he saw them joke around, pull out some candy from Hogsmeade and just… be normal kids. He was halfway through checking the calibration of the lenses when the door of the classroom opened and he turned to see Severus, his face a mix of emotions, Elias started as he saw the man walk forward and slap Elias’ copy of Lolita on the desk.

“Oh, hey,” Elias smiled. “Did you start -”

“He’s a  _ pedophile _ ,” Severus snapped, cutting him off, and Elias simply watched him with a nod. “Why did you - why would  _ anyone ever write this _ ?! It’s disgusting!”

“It is,” Elias nodded, eyebrows raising. “Did you read it all?”

“I could scarcely focus at all on the story! Humbert Humbert -”

“Is a Pentapod,” Elias moved to sit on one of the student desks, gesturing at Severus to take a seat wherever he wanted, still working to clean his telescope. “But he loves Dolores so much, doesn’t he? She’s his little  _ nymphet  _ -”

“ _ Merlin _ , do  _ not _ ,” Severus looked green, rubbing his face. 

“You didn’t finish it,” Elias pointed out, putting away the piece he’d been working on to grab another, wincing at the grime he found. 

“I can’t finish it!” Severus replied, looking scandalized. “Whomever Nabokov was -”

“Oh, trust me, Lolita is  _ so _ tame compared to other works he’s done,” Elias laughed, making Severus turn to him, not looking amused at all. “Man, Ada was a fucking  _ wild ride _ .”

“Why - how do you  _ enjoy _ this book?” Severus asked, confused, looking almost hurt as he looked over at Elias, so casually cleaning the muggle way, calmly watching Severus back. “Doesn’t it… doesn’t it remind you of -”

“Yeah,” Elias replied, giving Severus a little shrug. “That’s the whole point.”

He stood, finally starting to put his tool back together, glancing over at the kids only to find them sneakily watching the two professors. Elias gave them a little look and waved his wand to mute the classroom from the outside, making them all glance away quickly.

“Lolita - Nabokov, really - is brilliant,” Elias explained to Severus. “It evokes sympathy for an absolute  _ monster _ of a man. The prose is delightful and I’ve often read it just to  _ read _ Nabokov. I love his works. Ada is  _ horribly _ beautiful, as well. But the point of Lolita isn’t to read a book about a pedophile who kidnaps this poor twelve year old girl to have sexual relations with her, Severus, but to understand that even the most compelling argument has its intentions behind it. Humbert Humbert thinks he is utterly, impossibly, irreparably in love with Dolores and he lets us know that his love is real and unchanging, and he  _ justifies it,  _ what he does to her . And he makes arguments that are well-written and  _ intelligent.  _ Yet he calls her his  _ nymphet _ , his little whore. He chooses another name, Lolita, to call her in these violating moments because he  _ has _ to dehumanize her, to separate reality from what he’s doing. It’s a lesson on  _ optics _ , on the disgusting reality that these kinds of thoughts don’t just happen in the mind of a pedophile, but in the mind of a lot of  _ men _ .”

Severus looked away, uncomfortable, and Elias finished working on his telescope, gently putting it away, to the side, before walking over in front of Severus again, hands on his hips as he grabbed the book from the desk.

“Dolores trusted Humbert Humbert,” he began, slowly. “He was her step-father. But his intentions were dishonest from the beginning, ever since he saw her in the garden.”

Severus sighed, eyes finally meeting Elias’.

“How can you read this?” Severus asked quietly.

“Because I finally get to know  _ why _ he did it,” Elias handed him the book again, Severus taking it with slight discomfort. “It was raw and it was horrible and I had a panic attack reading this book but it finally gave me a  _ semblance _ of closure. For the longest time, I wasn’t satisfied with calling Fawley a monster because it didn’t  _ make sense _ to me. I didn’t know why he chose  _ me _ either, and it drove me insane, to think that I ever let him think I was interested or that he thought I was leading him on or some shit. But no, it’s just - it’s the way he thought, you know? He saw something he wanted, a quick satisfaction to a problem that kind of itches, and if he has to stop through someone to get it? He  _ will _ .”

“Disgusting,” Severus whispered, looking down at the book in his hand. “ _ Disgusting _ .”

“It is,” Elias nodded, arms crossing. “And you know what’s the worst part? That it all stems from the same thought - that consent is fickle and annoying and useless, that people may say no but like, well, you’re  _ you _ , right? And there’s  _ layers _ to consent, right? They’ll enjoy it. They won’t mind. Actually - they  _ do _ enjoy it and they should be grateful that you’re even thinking of doing this to them -”

“Stop,” Severus closed his eyes, wincing. “I understood. Don’t -” he sighed, eyes finding Elias’, looking nauseous. “You… wanted me to read this book.”

“I did, and do, still,” Elias nodded, leaning against his desk. “Do you understand why?”

“Not yet,” Severus admitted and Elias nodded again, slowly. “But I will come back to you when I do finish it. Then we can - talk about it.”

“Alright. Thank you,” Elias murmured, giving him a small smile before approaching, hand gently moving around Severus’ wrist, eyes kind. “Do take breaks, if you feel like it’s too much, yes? This book can be hard to read, Sev. Don’t want you… just feeling awful.”

Severus seemed to relax slightly at that, his hand turning slightly at the weight of Elias’ hand, nodding. Elias gave him a little squeeze.

“It’s a bit of a lesson about consent and expectations,” Elias explained to him softly, making Severus’ coal eyes find his blues. “I… I want you to see it, explicitly, what consent means. Dolores is a twelve year old who can’t consent and yet Humbert Humbert takes so much from her. I’ve gone through that, being unable to say no - saying  _ no _ and people just  _ not caring _ . When someone rejects you, it isn’t a sign to… to chase them, you know? It’s a sign to just  _ leave it alone _ . Why else do you think I never tried anything with Remus, despite everyone telling me that oh, he’s so obviously into me?”

Severus said nothing, watching him, eyes changing as it all sank in.

“Remus said no,” Elias told him, firmly. “I thought maybe there was something there and people told me as well. But Remus said  _ no _ . Which means that no, he’s not interested. No, he doesn’t want me. No, he will not be romantically involved with me. And that’s fine, because now I can rest a bit better at night, knowing that I don’t have to worry about the what if’s. I know how our friendship is now and we’re closer than ever.”

“How can you not… crave, though?” Severus whispered, watching Elias. “Does it not hurt you? To… to be pushed aside -”

“He didn’t push me aside, though,” Elias replied, shrugging. “We’re closer than ever, Sev. He’s not - he values my friendship and I do his. I’m just - I’m just happy that he’s in my life, you know? I’m happy that he still jokes with me, laughs with me, trusts me with things that he’s not trusting anyone else with.”

“Is that enough?” Severus whispered.

“If he’s happy?” Elias smiled at him, nodding. “Yeah.”

Severus watched him, face going through different emotions and Elias let him work through them, looking right back into his eyes, letting him see that Elias truly didn’t care if Remus returned his feelings or not as long as he was just  _ happy _ . Romance mattered so little when he could have platonic intimacy on the beach, talking about their secrets, their inner workings, the way some things had shattered them and they’d had to put themselves back together. And Elias wondered if Severus was looking back at Lily and him, at their friendship.

“Are you okay?” Elias asked him softly when Severus went a few long minutes without talking, taking in everything.

Severus said nothing again but he cleared his throat and nodded, very obviously lying but Elias wouldn’t push him, giving the potions professor a soft smile.

“Alright,” Elias sighed, trying to lighten the mood. “Let's head out. Would you like to?”

“What?” Severus blinked at him, confused. Elias enjoyed that he was the only person who seemed to be able to take him off guard.

“Hogsmeade. Lunch,” he said slowly, laughing. “It’s Wednesday, it’s Remus’ birthday. We’re celebrating with the staff at the Three Broomsticks. Come with us!”

“I see,” he pursed his lips a bit, looking down at the book in his hand, pondering his options, seemingly.

“Hey,” Elias grinned, leaning forward a bit, making Severus’ eyes snap to his. “I wanted to talk to you about the latest article on Flitterby cocoons that I read on The Bloated Bezoar but I didn’t find time to really discuss it. Could you  _ pleeeease _ come with me to lunch to talk about it? At the very least? You can even ignore Remus, if you'd like."

Severus sighed deeply, rolling his eyes and he lifted the book to gently smack Elias’ head with it, making the Spaniard laugh.

“Very well,” Severus scowled at him. “Hogsmeade for lunch. For your stupid Gryffindor.”

“ _ Yes! _ ” Elias laughed, triumphant. “Alright, let me just get the kids out of the class and we can leave.”

“Kids?” he frowned before suddenly turning to the outside of the tower, the little troupe of Slytherins all watching the two professors before quickly scrambling up when Severus looked at them. “What are they  _ doing _ here?” he hissed.

“Just hanging out, Sev, relax,” Elias laughed, rolling his eyes as they all moved inside again. “Come on, guys, I’m about to close the classroom. You can hang out later in the afternoon.”

“Alright, professor!”

“Hi, Professor Snape!”

“Thanks for letting us stay here -”

“See you after lunch!”

“Bye!”

“Thanks, professor Fernandez!”

Severus merely grunted as the kids all rushed out, laughing among themselves, waving, and Elias grinned and waved back, happy to see them enjoying the day.

“You could’ve told me,” Severus pointed out, gritting his jaw.

“That the kids were outside? Come on, Sev, they’re just  _ kids _ ,” he rolled his eyes, hand moving to his sleeve, pulling him along to exit the classroom, locking it behind him. “Plus, they love you.”

“Do they?” he cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“They do!” Elias replied, offended that he’d even doubt it. “They look up to you. So they’re happy that you and I get along, I could tell.”

“I suppose,” was all Severus said and Elias rolled his eyes this time.

“Now you’re being difficult for the sake of it,” he accused.

“Pot, meet kettle,” Severus hummed and Elias just laughed.

* * *

“Hagrid’s trial is tomorrow,” Elias told Remus that night, the two leaning against the railing of the Astronomy Tower, watching the Hogwarts grounds. Remus, tired from day full of surprises, had his hand around a bottle of butterbeer that Elias had sneaked into Hogwarts from lunch time in Hogsmeade. He’d gifted Remus a new coat, which he had immediately doned, even though March had been getting warmer and warmer.

“When is it?” Remus asked, turning to him, looking concerned.

“At 3.30pm,” Elias sighed, rubbing at his own jaw, swallowing. “I haven’t been to the British Ministry of Magic in a long fucking time, Gods. It’s gonna be weird.”

“How so?” Remus asked, taking a sip of his bottle, turning to look at Elias. He looked comfortable - sweater off, sleeves pushed back, hair shifting with the small night breeze. His new coat lay next to Elias’ on the stone, where they’d been sitting before. The two had been hours up here, talking about Remus’ previous birthdays. And also having to hear Remus apologize about missing Elias’ back in January.

“I’m going to help Hagrid fight Lucius on court - whose wife invited me to a  _ tea party _ this weekend,” Elias mumbled and Remus gave a laugh.

“So you’re going through with that?” he asked, moving to lean his back against the railing, Elias groaning before he nodded, taking a sip of his own drink. “Will you be alright?”

“Severus is coming with me,” Elias sighed, nodding. “It’ll be fine, it’s just - Gods, on Sunday it was so  _ tense _ . I’m going to walk into Malfoy Manor and all I’ll be able to think about is the fact that they invited a  _ muggleborn _ into their house.”

“They wouldn’t… hurt you,” Remus winced. “As much as it pains me to say this - it’d be difficult to cover it up, the replacement of a Hogwarts professor.”

“Yeah, I know,” Elias murmured, watching the glass of his butterbeer, swirling the liquid inside. “I just - why would they invite me? I’m  _ so confused _ , I’ve no idea what Narcissa wants of me.”

“She’s a good woman,” Remus told him, honest. “Sirius and she used to get along, I remember. Sirius actually went to her wedding, though he soon got kicked out after he had a fight with Regulus.”

“Regulus, right,” Elias swallowed. “His Deatheater brother…”

“His baby brother,” Remus steered, giving Elias a sad look. “They… had their differences.”

“Right,” Elias repeated, turning to Remus, giving him a frown. “How did… how was it? The two of them?”

“A bloody disaster,” Remus snorted. “Honestly, it was - have you ever had an explosive fight with someone? In your family?”

“Oh yeah,” Elias laughed, a bit bitter. “My sister and I - I can relate to what you’re saying.”

“But you probably had those explosive fights once or maybe twice a year,” Remus continued.

“Uh… no, it was pretty much whenever we weren’t supervised by my parents,” Elias replied, making Remus wince.

“Alright. Alright, yes, you… surely get it,” he sighed. “Well, it was a disaster. An absolute disaster, whenever those two would be in the same room. At least when Regulus got to Hogwarts. Before Hogwarts… Sirius spoke a lot about him. And he loved him very much,” Remus made a face. “I don’t want to divulge private things from Sirius so I’ll stop there but - but Sirius loved his brother right until the very end. He always did.”

“I know what that’s like,” Elias murmured, thinking of Elena, of all the horrible things he’d ever told her, pursing his lips. “When you’re younger, things seem so black and white. I’m sure the two of them loved each other, but the circumstances… just weren’t ideal for that to flourish.”

“That’s basically it,” Remus nodded, looking over at Elias. “I wish I’d had siblings.”

“That’s what anyone who doesn’t have siblings says,” Elias laughed.

“Grass is always greener on the other side, huh?” Remus chuckled.

“No, but I - I get it. You felt lonely as a kid, you wanted siblings,” the Spaniard leaned a little bit against Remus, head dropping on his shoulder as he watched the moon glitter on the reflection of the Black Lake. “It’s just sad that most of us… have such relationships filled with fights and bad moments.”

“You get along with her now, right?” Remus asked.

“Well… most of the time. And we do because we’re so far away from each other,” he snorted. “I hated my sister for the longest time. And blamed her for a lot of my own trauma. Some of it… yeah, she did participate in some things that shaped my insecurities but I’m sure that so did I,” Elias sighed. “I held myself as someone above her - someone  _ authentic _ , just because my sister was social and popular and liked to party. I was as superficial as I claimed  _ she _ was, you know?”

“At least you know better now,” Remus tried to cheer him up, nudging Elias. “Sirius never grew out of - of blaming his brother and his mother and father for things they couldn’t control. I feel like a lot of Sirius’ upbringing stemmed from his parents’ own problems with the things they had to live as, you know? Like - Walburga? Sirius’ mother?”

“Walburga Black, yeah,” Elias nodded, finishing up his butterbeer.

“That wasn’t even her real name,” Remus told him, making Elias pause. “She was a Vietnamese immigrant who barely knew English - she knew  _ French _ . And yet she was planted here in the United Kingdom and told to be as British as she could.”

“What the fuck?” Elias breathed, horrified. “Wait,  _ wait  _ \- so Sirius is just half Vietnamese? I thought he just had some roots, the House of Black prides itself on being  _ super British _ , right?”

“Yeah, and he doesn’t know  _ shit _ about his own roots. Never met his grandfather, never went to Vietnam, never even learned the language. His mother was prohibited to teach them,” Remus told Elias, making his stomach churn. “Sirius wanted to, but there was no way for him to find classes or just… anything relating to Vietnam. He was so frustrated about that and he often blamed his mother for not teaching him.”

“Christ,” Elias swallowed, tasting bile. “That sounds not like her fault at all.”

“Probably wasn’t,” Remus murmured, looking up at the stars. “His entire family was ridden with problems like those - blaming people for things they’d been conditioned, taught to be, yes? I tried to reason with Sirius but his mother… Merlin, she was indefensible at times.”

“Cycle of abuse,” Elias murmured. “That’s awful.”

“Narcissa is one of the only women in the House of Black that married out of duty and then fell in love, apparently,” Remus told Elias. “Sirius was worried about her, thought that Lucius was this monster that would rip her to shreds, turn her into Walburga. But when he went to her wedding, she was the happiest he’d ever seen her. I think that was the last time they saw each other, actually?” Remus frowned, trying to think. “I was outside. We all were - Peter, James, Frank, Dorcas and I. When Sirius was kicked out of the wedding he at least seemed a bit calm but… sad, you know?”

“Yeah,” Elias murmured, watching Remus, making a face before looking away. “It’s so fucking weird. Family, I mean. Sometimes you want to strangle them and the next moment you realize that you can’t live without them.”

“Is that how it went for you?” Remus asked quietly.

“Mhmm,” Elias nodded, moving to sit, Remus following him, the two letting their arms rest on the railing of the Astronomy tower, Elias scooching closer to rest his temple on Remus’ shoulder, the werewolf letting his own head fall gently on top of Elias’. “My family and I… we used to not get along. Like - my mom, dad and sister.”

“You’re really close now,” Remus murmured. “What changed? Was it gradual?”

“No,” Elias replied quietly. “My sister found out I was self harming.”

Remus almost lurched forward, making Elias sit up straight, Remus turning to Elias with wide eyes. “You -”

“Long time ago, I’m almost three years clean, don’t worry,” he said softly.

“Is that what you meant by… scars on your wrists?” Remus asked, looking nauseous.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pulling back his sleeves to hand Remus his arm, unashamed - he had to be. This was his growth. And he had meant what he’d told Remus, he had to show him that he didn’t care at all about scars.

“I… can’t see them,” Remus said, holding his arm, looking a bit relieved at the fact.

“It’s because of the tattoos,” Elias replied. “They get super puffy in the summer. I’m sure you know that, with all the scars you have. Run your finger through my arm?”

Remus did, jaw going slack as he ran his thumb from the inner skin of Elias’ arm down to his inner elbow, face going white.

“Merlin,” he breathed.

“It’s not  _ that bad _ . It happened before, it’s a thing of the past,” Elias insisted, frowning at Remus as he held onto his arm, looking at the intimate tattoos on it. “I covered them up,” Elias whispered, tapping the astronaut on his wrist. “This one’s from Rocket Man, by Elton John? A song that always helps me remember that I’ll touch down on Earth, even if I’m in a tin bucket a thousand miles from home. And that one is from another song whose name I don’t know, from the future - it was my first tattoo, the very first one I got.”

“You’ve got this pattern,” Remus murmured. “Where - where you’ve got things that you dislike - your hair, your scars - and you just… change it. Cover it, fix it, just like that?”

“Just like that,” Elias shrugged, smiling at him. “Change is your greatest friend, Remus. To me, it really is. I didn’t use tattoos to  _ cover _ my scars, I use them to remind myself as to why I’m past self-harming, why I don’t do it anymore. My parents had a bit of a wakeup call and they changed, they helped me get to therapy, they communicated more, they let me express myself. I came out of the closet, you know, and it was tough but my mom was sitting there, reminding me that no matter what, she’d always love me.”

“You’ve got a good family,” Remus said, turning to Elias, giving him a sad smile. “All these… internal problems that you have. How - how do you get past it all?”

“I’ve no idea,” Elias laughed. “I just - I just kept going forward, I guess. I kept walking, no matter what happened. I kept standing every time I fell down. And I had help from my family, along the way. My dad always lends me a hand when I need it. And my sister and cousins and the rest of them. I’ve got a good, solid floor to stand on. And I think that’s why I’m still here.”

“It’s hard to imagine you so… sad,” Remus confessed, finally letting go of Elias’ arm. “I-I mean, you’re telling me of all these dark thoughts and horrible things but - but I think of you and I see you as this positive, fiery, happy personality.”

“It’s a shock,” Elias agreed, nodding. “I’m positive and happy because I  _ like _ it. Because despite it all, I guess that I just… love way too many things on this Earth. Mind you - a lot of my current happiness and stability has to do with routine, with being able to wake up and work and tend to the kids and have lunch and dinner already made. I  _ still _ struggle as a bipolar man. I  _ still _ struggle with anxiety, self-worth and you know, dysmorphia and dysphoria. But -”

He paused, shrugging again, looking at Remus with a bit of a smile.

“I guess when I have people to take care of, I don’t feel as bad,” he said quietly.

“What does your tattoo say?” Remus asked him, tapping the inner part of his elbow. “I wasn’t able to read it.”

“Oh,” Elias murmured, looking down at the slightly faded ink. “ _ Forgive the things that you hate in yourself so that you might be grace to someone else _ .”

“Sounds like you alright,” Remus laughed. 

“Yeah, it’s - it can be unhealthy but I try to find the right balance for it,” Elias chuckled.

“I’ll just have to remind you to take care of yourself as well,” Remus nudged him, smiling, making Elias’ heart flip inside his ribcage, looking back at the Black Lake before Remus could see him blush. “I… I did it too.”

Elias paused, turning to Remus, watching him quietly, not wanting to break the silence and make Remus back off from his statement. It took a moment but Remus inhaled deeply, getting ready, finishing off his butterbeer and putting it away.

“It’s um, easier to hide them as a werewolf,” he explained quietly. “But I… I hated myself so much. I  _ hated _ myself so fucking much, Elias. It was this burning guilt within me and - it was so easy to just… let it out that way.”

“Thinking that you deserve it,” Elias whispered, understanding fully. “And then the blood draw was just addictive, wasn’t it? Just -  _ fuck _ , looking at your arm and going -”

“- that’s too clean,” Remus finished, swallowing. “I can’t believe you of all people would understand that.”

“Self-harm is a bit more widespread, I’m afraid,” Elias whispered.

“I suppose,” Remus closed his eyes, rubbing his face before suddenly laughing. “We’re not in Camposoto, I don’t know why we’re talking -”

“The joke can die, Remus,” Elias laughed, foot kicking Remus’ calf a bit. 

Remus simply smiled, a bit sadly but looking almost relieved. Good. These things… telling them to others did a lot of good, relieved you of so many burdens.

“We’ve all got ways to cope,” Elias told him. “I… had a lot. A  _ lot _ . Self-harm and counting calories were some of those. I also fought a look, like -  _ picked fights _ with people on the street, on the bad parts of Madrid.”

“You lived in Madrid too?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, for a while,” Elias nodded, leaning back, swinging his legs. “Used to go to the outskirt of Chueca, the gay district? Neonazis gather a lot there, just to beat up queer people. I took everything out on them, got arrested twice.”

“You’re joking,” Remus said, laughing, watching Elias.

“No,” Elias turned, grinning. “How do you think I beat the  _ shit _ out of Sirius?”

“MMA, right? You trained?”

“MMA was only for a little while,” Elias shrugged. “It’s mostly just. Scrappy fights. I once got stabbed in the thigh with a switchblade and I pulled it out and like, pretended to be all cool and keep it and stuff to make the dicks who stabbed me run. Then I went home and screamed so fucking loud, it hurt  _ so much _ .”

“You’re  _ insane _ ,” Remus told him, laughing. “You almost sound like a Gryffindor.”

“Don’t push your luck,” Elias poked Remus’ forehead, giggling, then pausing, looking a bit sad. “It’s not cool to fight, Remus. To get into a fight on a street just to feel like you’re doing something right, like you can  _ feel human _ out of bruises on your knuckles.”

“I know it isn’t,” Remus replied, frowning. “But… I get where you’re coming from.”

“Mhmm,” Elias sighed, laying on his back, legs hanging out the tower. “It’s so strange to be back in wizarding society. I spent three years in college, trying to forget all about it - the Sight, the bullying, the blood supremacy… Yet I’m back here. And for some fucking reason, I feel more integrated than ever before?”

“It happens,” Remus hummed. “Things change. Sometimes you’re not ready for something and… well, you’re ready for it later. It comes better.”

“I suppose,” Elias crossed his arms behind his head, enjoying the March breeze, inhaling deeply the night air. “You’ve got something,” he told Remus, smiling a bit as he felt the other professor also laying next to him. “You make me wanna tell you everything.”

“So do you,” Remus whispered.

“Alright!” Elias said, laughing. “Then let’s go! Confession time. Say something you’ve always wanted to say out loud. Just - blurt out little secrets that matter way too much to you.”

“What?” Remus laughed, turning to look at Elias, the Spaniard grinning. “Just - just whatever?”

“Yeah!” Elias let out a loud laugh, hands rubbing over his eyes. “Fuck it, you know? Just - just say it! Fuck everything else! It’ll feel good!”

“Merlin,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’ll start,” Elias stated, finger pointing at the sky. “I think Severus has got  _ the _ hottest fucking hands I’ve ever seen on a man.”

Remus choked, bursting out laughing, holding his stomach as Elias felt his entire body go light from the simple confession, laughing himself.

“Oh my  _ Gods _ , that felt so good to say,” he breathed, giggling. “I said it. That’s it! I think Severus is actually hot! That's been driving me crazy!"

“No,  _ noooo _ ,” Remus covered his face with his hands. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Listen, he’s just got really nice fingers -”

“Do  _ not _ ,” Remus wheezed into his own hands, looking over at Elias. “You’re  _ so _ fucking gay, Elias, this is detrimental to you. Why -  _ noooo,  _ not  _ Snape _ .”

“Listen, I’m allowed to be this dumb,” Elias laughed, nudging him. “Now you.”

“Alright,” Remus took a deep breath, watching the night sky. “I hate, hate,  _ hate _ that you’re the Astronomy Professor because I’ve to climb the bloody stairs every time I want to talk to you. Every time you offer to have a drink in your rooms or to just hang there? I want to wring your neck. Too many stairs -  _ too many stairs _ !”

Elias laughed, rolling a big on the stone floor, a grin taking over his face.

“I hate Hagrid’s cooking,” Elias confessed.

“That’s not a confession, that’s a common statement,” Remus snorted.

“Remus, no! He works so hard for it!”

“I know, but it’s  _ bad _ -”

“Your turn, come on -”

“I had a crush on David Bowie,” Remus confessed and Elias grinned.

“Same,” he snickered, the two slapping hands in a stupid little high-five. “Gods, but he’s - what era, though?”

“Full Ziggy Stardust,” Remus told him, flushed. “He’s still  _ so _ handsome.”

“Mine was with the Labyrinth movie,” Elias giggled.

“What movie?” Remus asked him, confused, and Elias gasped, sitting up. “Uh-oh.”

“We have to see Labyrinth now, Remus! Oh my Gods, he’s - he’s got  _ tights _ on! It’s a movie that’s a musical with  _ puppets  _ and he has this  _ wig  _ -”

“I don’t know but I’m already scared,” Remus laughed, shaking his head. “I haven’t seen a movie in  _ so long _ . Since… fuck, 1980? 1979? Probably.”

“Old man,” Elias rolled around, resting half on top of Remus, chin on his chest, grinning as Remus mimicked him in a silly voice, then giggled. “Alright, alright, my turn - uhhh…” he frowned, trying to think of any secrets he’d held back. “Oh! Oh, right - when I was thirteen, I used to have a crush on this girl I saw in a Sight.”

“Oh?” Remus looked at him, surprised. 

“Yep,” Elias laughed. “She was way too old for me but  _ so _ pretty. I later learned that she was one of the professors in Beauxbatons, the dueling professor? I saw her at my sister’s graduation and nearly went under my chair to hide.”

“That sounds  _ so _ embarrassing,” Remus laughed, smiling at him. “You don’t often talk about women much.”

“Mhmm, it takes a bit for me to… allow myself to crush on them?” Elias confessed, eyes closing. “I feel predatory when I do, because I curated my taste for women within queer culture, you know? So the women I like often  _ look _ queer. Which, okay, queer women can be into men. But a lot of them are lesbians. So when I started to transition and I allowed myself to identify as a man, it kind of - you know, makes it super fucking gross? To be into queer women?”

“Ah, I see,” Remus nodded, then paused. “What about straight women?”

“They scare me,” Elias mumbled and Remus gave a laugh, looking down at him as Elias buried his face on his chest. “No, no, I am  _ not _ kidding, the inadequacy I feel is  _ absurd _ .”

“That’s so stupid, though, you’re a  _ man _ ,” Remus replied.

“Yeah but like…” Elias whined a bit. “Bisexual people feel safer? Like, if someone is bi, I won’t be afraid of fucking - telling them I  _ don’t have a dick _ , you know? Cause they’re going to be fine with my body either way but… gay men or straight women place this doubt over my head like, are they going to be transphobic? Are they going to even want to look at me that way?”

“You’re a man, though,” Remus frowned. “I’m fully, one hundred percent  _ gay _ and I see you as a man. Nothing in between or any of the sorts.”

“Thanks, Remus,” Elias sighed. “But - yeah. Plus, just… I’ve bad experiences with women. Most of them have not taken kindly to my gender.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus supplied, his arms moving around Elias to hug him. “That’s just unfair.”

“And I like women a lot,” Elias whined, making Remus chuckle. “They’re so -  _ unf _ , you know? Wait, no, you don’t, you’re  _ gay _ ,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Fuck, I don’t know. I thought I’d be able to just, you know, be sapphic and happy with that but oh no! Turns out I’m a man!”

“How did you piece it together?” Remus asked.

“Oh, I had a Sight where I looked the way I do now,” he explained. “Looked in the mirror and I was a guy and I was like,  _ oh shit, alright, makes sense _ .”

“Must’ve been a shock.”

“Absolutely,” Elias nodded, getting comfortable, eyes closing as Remus rubbed his back slowly and the two stayed quiet for a while, enjoying the gentle breeze and the slightly cold weather. 

Elias was half asleep when he heard Remus speak again.

“I have one last confession to make,” he said quietly. “Before my birthday ends.”

“Mhmm, go ahead,” Elias murmured, curled up and happy to listen.

Remus took a moment, swallowing, petting the small of Elias’ back before murmuring, “I miss my father.”

Elias paused, blinking before lifting himself a bit, watching Remus’ face, his shiny eyes.

“You do?” he asked gently and Remus nodded, unable to speak. “Would you like to see him again, Remus?” Another nod. “And you don’t know how to even begin to tell him, right?”

“Right,” he croaked.

“We’ll find a way,” Elias told him, rubbing his chest over his shirt, a small promise as Remus let out a stuttering sigh. “Okay? We can draft a letter together.”

“I’m really scared of - seeing him again,” Remus whispered. “What must he think -”

“Don’t overthink it,” Elias replied, kissing his jaw before hugging him tightly, feeling Remus shake a bit, Elias thinking of ways to get in contact with the man already. “Just allow yourself to miss your dad, Remus. And allow yourself some forgiveness.”

“I’ll try,” Remus sighed deeply. “I’ll… I’ll try.”


	31. The Fourth Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew Elías again. And I've got a few other drawings to show you guys, when the chapter arrives. I jut don't want to spoil before it's time!!

On Thursday, at 3.00pm on the dot, Elías walked to Dumbledore’s office, the only room at Hogwarts with a direct line to the Ministry of Magic. He wore his good suit, in charcoal grey with the deep green cravat, shoes shined and hair pulled back professionally, despite the color. He wore minimal jewelry, mostly his fingers and when he exited the Astronomy Tower, he found himself under the scrutiny of the entire school.

He knew he looked good – he looked professional, as his mother would say, but it was still strange to stroll to Dumbledore’s office with giggles and open mouths in his wake. He wasn’t used to this, not really, had only been on HRT for two years but it felt… nice, to be regarded as masculine and handsome. Turning eyes for the right kind of attention.

It was also teenagers, though, and the thought immediately soured his mood a bit. Maybe if Remus saw him like this, he would change his mind about Elías –

Fuck what Remus thought of how he looked, Gods, since when was Elías a love-struck fool? No, no, he looked good and he did it for Hagrid. To win this fucking case. To prove to every blood supremacist that any muggleborn could walk into the Ministry with his chin held high and keep it that way for the rest of the day. This had nothing to do with anything romantic that he may or may not feel anymore towards Remus at all.

So Elías stopped in front of the phoenix statue, muttering the password to Dumbledore’s office, and before he’d finished speaking, they were already moving. Elías sighed, waiting for the stairs to appear, adjusting his cravat so it wasn’t as tight when he heard the steps, looking up and seeing Severus descending with a scowl – which promptly disappeared as he saw Elías, both men freezing.

“Hello,” Elías decided to say, awkwardly standing there. “You look as if you’d swallowed all of Dumbledore’s lemon drops, Sev.”

Severus just walked out of the stairs, looking him over, making Elías flush. Yes, alright, he looked good but – well, maybe he looked a tiny bit ridiculous, all formal. He wasn’t used to suits yet, even though they made him feel an absurd amount of gender euphoria, and he hoped his hair – well, and his – fuck, Elías was overthinking this so much.

“Is there somewhere you have to be this afternoon?” Severus questioned.

“The whole Buckbeak trial,” he replied, making the potions professor nod. “I’ll be back for my classes but I worry that this will overextend. If I’m not back by ten, will you take care of my classes?”

Severus simply nodded, watching the little button in the middle of his cravat before he lifted a hand to adjust it, making Elías go still. Severus knew much more of wizarding society than he did, and he trusted him to tell Elías if he looked ridiculous. But when Severus pulled away, he still said nothing, making Elías a bit nervous.

“So?” he finally huffed, frowning deeply, making Severus’ eyes snap up from Elías’ neck to his face, watching him. 

“So?” Severus replied, infuriatingly cocking an eyebrow at him, looking amused.

“Do I look good or not?” Elías let his hands find his hips, standing in front of Severus like a disgruntled gremlin trying to be fed after midnight. 

“It’s a wizard’s suit,” Severus pointed out.

“Thanks, captain obvious,” Elías snorted, touching the edges of his jacket. “First time I’ve ever worn this thing and I’ve been getting giggles and fingers pointed at me all the way from my own damn tower. The least you could do is tell me if I look ridiculous or not.”

“You don’t,” the potions professor said blandly, making Elías groan a bit.

“Well, thanks for that, at least,” he sighed, moving past him to the stairs, about to climb up them Severus suddenly raised his hand, palm up, looking at Elías expectantly. Elías paused, looking at his fingers for a moment, confused until Severus finally spoke.

"Your wrist," he stated and Elías automatically let his hand drop on Severus'.

Severus began to work on the buttons running down Elías' arm, the tips of his fingers brushing the delicate, inner part of Elías' wrist and, against his will, Elías felt heat build under his stomach at the touch. He tried hard not to blush, feeling that faint touch even as Severus' hands worked further down. His fingers -

Elías didn't want to think about Severus' fingers but he did anyway, watching him pluck and prod and change the style of the sleeve. He twisted and folded the fabric until the end of his sleeves looked different, elegant, but still permitted free movement. For wand handling, obviously. Elías hadn't thought of that, simply buttoning his sleeves without a single thought of how a wizard would do it.

He didn't notice, either, that he's been staring until he heard Severus clear his throat, vivid blues snapping up, "May I get the other sleeve?" Severus cocked an eyebrow. "It'd be a shame if I let you go half-done.”

Elías' face burned bright and he clumsily shoved his other hand at Severus, watching a spot over his shoulder instead of the work he did on Elías' suit. He must've been going insane because he almost felt like Severus' fingers brushed his palm. Elías held back a shiver.

Once Severus was done with both cuffs, he let go of Elias, standing back, nodding, and Elias would’ve ran a hand through his hair if he hadn’t remembered that he’d slicked it back.

“Thank you,” Elías told him, honest and open but also trying to hide how such a gesture had so thoroughly flustered him. “I’m a bit nervous, did I look –“

“You did not look ridiculous,” Severus cut in, looking mildly annoyed, hand moving to Elías’ chin to tip it up slightly, correcting his pose, making that warmth turn to a _burn_. “You look like a wizard. Which is the reason why everyone seems so surprised, Elías.”

“I don’t look like a wizard?” Elías asked, baffled.

“No, you dress like a muggle,” Severus replied, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, trust me, I don’t dress like a muggle,” Elías laughed. 

“So neither,” Severus sighed, hand dropping from Elías’ chin. “But you’ve cleaned your beard. You’ve actually tamed your hair –”

“Hey!”

"- and you’re wearing a wizard suit,” Severus finished, ignoring him. “It’s as if I wore jeans.”

“Oh shit, alright,” Elías blinked, suddenly understanding. “In any case – thank you, Sev.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied easily before turning around. “Good luck.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving Elías a bit bummed. He’d hoped to get some more encouraging words but he knew Severus wasn’t the type. Oh well. He had a case to win with Hagrid. 

Climbing up the stairs, Elías found Dumbledore writing in his desk, the elder wizard looking up before suddenly looking, giving Elías a wide grin.

“Now, now, my boy, you clean up well!” he greeted and Elías, despite everything, felt his cheeks burn a bit, rubbing his nose. “I’ve never seen you in a suit. It looks much better than a dress.”

“Thank you, Headmaster,” he said softly, appreciating the words, moving to sit down on one of the chairs. “Hagrid?”

“On his way, I’m sure,” Dumbledore answered, offering him some lemon drops which Elías declined. No need for sugar on his teeth, it made him jittery if he had to speak in front of a crowd. “I wish you both the best of luck.”

“Thank you, Headmaster,” Elías sighed, rubbing his thighs with the palms of his hands and pretty soon, the staircase unfolded and Hagrid squeezed into the office, wearing his moleskin suit and his outrageously adorable dotted tie. Elías felt affection squeeze his lungs and he stood, adjusting his jacket. “Hey, Hagrid.”

“You look good, Elías,” he sighed, looking nervous. “Though I doubt it’ll matter.”

“Hey,” Elías told him, eyes hard. “That’s no way to begin this. Confidence, Hagrid, hmm? All we need to do this is confidence and the certainty that you and Buckbeak are innocent.”

“You’re right,” he nodded, face growing a bit lighter. “Let’s do this!”

“Let’s do this,” Elías nodded back, the two moving to the chimney.

* * *

Seven hours later, exhausted and ready to send every wizard ever known to humankind to Hell, Elías walked out of the court room, furious at the absolutely disgusting display he’d been witness to. Hagrid followed after him, eyes red from crying, blowing loudly on the handkerchief the size of a beach towel.

“You did good,” Hagrid told him, sniffling as they went down the hallway towards the elevator and Elías sighed, biting his lower lip. “You looked like one of them scary Slytherins up there, defending me. But it’s of no use –”

“They’ve to still send up the verdict,” Elías replied, clenching his jaw, feeling fury run through his veins. “Fucking – _sending_ us the verdict. Such a stupid fucking phrase. Such a stupid fucking system. Emilio’s going to have a fucking blast with the Potter case, I can already fucking tell.”

“That’s your lawyer cousin, right? The one that send me those nice letters?” Hagrid asked.

“Yeah, that’s him,” Elías sighed, digging his hands into his pocket, looking at the absurd amount of people still working. It was ten, on a Thursday. Didn’t these people have a home to get to? “I’m sorry he couldn’t help much. The case is of a magical creature, not… not muggle affairs. Otherwise –”

“You’ve already done so much,” Hagrid interrupted him, his huge hand coming down to pat Elías on the back, the Spaniard still looking frustrated. 

“I think I’m going to go to the Department of Regulation and Control of Magic Creatures,” Elías told him, pursing his lips. “Just – just in case there’s someone, anyone who can help us, alright?”

“Alright, I – I think I’ll be going back to Hogwarts,” Hagrid told him, looking glum. “I’m quite tired.”

“Understandable, Hagrid,” Elías replied with a small smile, hand moving to pat his chest. “Go home. Rest Up. I’ll be back soon, alright?”

“Don’t take too long,” Hagrid chided, making Elías nod as Hagrid and he moved to the elevator, standing on their own there, Hagrid taking most of the space.

The elevator began to rise and Elías felt his lower back scream at him, standing as he’d been for hours. He couldn’t wait to get back to Hogwarts, have some food, maybe some wine, bitch to Remus about the trial and just clock out on his bed. He’d also taken his shot of testosterone today and he was irritable and felt a bit on edge. But still, when the elevator stopped on the fourth floor, he walked out and bid goodbye to Hagrid.

The Department was easily divided between Beasts, Beings and Spirits, aside from the various Liaisons. Elías found the front desk empty, so he decided that truly, nobody would mind if he stepped inside the Beast Division, right? Maybe find an employee that could look into the case? That knew the case? Or maybe just – someone who cared?

He walked inside, poking his head in, finding more and more doors and he found himself a bit frustrated, adding to his already ghastly day. Elías calmed himself down, breathing in, stepping forward to see the Centaur Liaison Office. Definitely not this one. And the one on the right – Ghoul Task Force. Nope.

Elías went looking through the next couple of doors, trying to find the Committee for the Disposal of Magical Creatures and soon he stood in front of an open door whose plaque had very obviously either fallen off or been ripped away. Looking at the empty hallway, Elías poked his head inside and found only one man sitting on his desk, typing tiredly, his back to Elías.

“Hello?” Elías called, a bit awkwardly, and the man jumped, startled, turning around. He was on the other side of the room and Elías gave a little smile. “Sorry, I’m afraid I’m a little lost. Might I ask what sub-department is this?”

“Well, what are you looking for? Because everyone but me has left the entire floor for the day,” the man spoke with a thick Essex accent, almost confusing Elías, thinking him Australian for a moment and he stood, starting to walk over to the Slytherin.

“The Committee for the Disposal of Magical Creatures,” Elías sighed, looking out at the hallway before approaching the older man, hands in his pockets, turning back to him. “I –”

Elías froze, eyes wide as the employee stepped in front of him, looking haggard and tired as he gave a little laugh, throwing his hand towards the plaque-less door.

“Ah, yes, I forgot that happened,” he chuckled, his warm brown eyes running through Elías, trying to discern anything about him, his hand raising to shake Elías’. “Sorry, lad, but you’re at the Werewolf Registry. My name is –”

“Lyall Lupin,” Elías finished, shaking his hand, unable to believe that of all people, he’d run into him.

Lyall’s eyebrows shot up before he frowned, “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

“I’m afraid not, sir,” Elías chuckled, dropping his hand but smiling at him. “I am, however, familiar with your work.”

“Oh?” he seemed to guard himself and Elías remembered that Remus had mentioned how Lyall had once been anti-werewolf himself. Alright, careful with that, then.

“Yes, I admire you so,” Elías told him, trying to look as open as he could. “But ah, I mainly know of you from your son, Mr Lupin. I’m a good friend of Remus’.”

Lyall’s face completely changed from suspicion to delighted surprise, eyes wide, his hands rushing to grab Elías’ shoulders.

“My Remus?” he asked, voice a bit choked. He had – Gods, Remus had been right. Hope was where the green eyes and blond hair came from but everything else was Lyall. It was so lovely to see, the wrinkles and the grey hair, the signs of laughter even through the evident haggard sadness in the man. One day Remus would look like this. “How –”

“I teach Astronomy at Hogwarts,” Elías explained, smiling at him. “Remus and I became very close when we began to work together. He’s told me about you.”

“Has he?” he laughed, looking so relieved. “How is he? Is he eating well? Is he happy?”

“He’s getting there, Mr Lupin,” Elías said softly. “Little by little. He’s doing well, he’s eating better than well!” he laughed, watching this poor man cover his eyes, looking so very relieved. Oh Gods, Elías could cry. “Lately he’s been talking more about you,” Elías told him softly, pulling out his handkerchief to hand it to him, Lyall gently sniffing into it. “I could tell him that I saw you? I think he’d be very happy.”

“Oh, no, no, I wouldn’t want… wouldn’t want to interrupt his life,” he quickly said, dabbing at his eyes and Elías felt a stab of pain at the words. When Elías had pulled away… had his father ever…?

“Nonsense, sir,” Elías insisted, leaning forward slightly. “How about – how about next week? Next week on Friday you two could meet up at some restaurant? How does that sound?” he smiled.

“I… I would love it very much, to see him again,” he confessed, and Elías held onto Lyall’s elbow as the man almost tipped forward. “Forgive me, I’m in such a late shift…”

“It’s alright,” Elías insisted, helping him sit down, giving him a kind look. “You know, Remus told me that you two looked very much alike. I can see that now, it was so surprising to see you!”

Lyall laughed, looking flattered and happy, “He’s a handsome man, my boy.”

“That he is,” Elías nodded, grinning. “You know he’s the favorite professor at Hogwarts?”

“Is he?” Lyall seemed delighted. “He did always have a good hand with children…”

“He’s the absolute favorite,” Elías laughed. “Everyone loves his classes, the kids all gush about him even during mine. They’re always so excited to see Professor Lupin, you know? Everyone says he’s been the best teacher at Hogwarts in a long time. You should be proud.”

“I always am, always have been,” Lyall said, a bit quieter and Elías let that sit as Lyall dabbed at his eyes again. What a soft, kind hearted man. No wonder Remus had turned out the way he was; gentle and good. 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Elías said, giving him a smile before crouching in front of him, making sure they were at the same level as he dug into his pocket and scribbled his Hogwarts owl address on a little piece of paper, handing it to him. “My name is Elías Fernández. I will gladly take any letters regarding your son if you’re not ready to see him yet but if you want me to, I’ll arrange a small dinner for the next weekend.”

Lyall took the note, looking at it before his eyes ran through Elías, trying to figure him out. “You’re friends with Remus, you said?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” Elías nodded.

“Are you two dating? It’s alright, I know he’s gay,” Lyall assured and Elías flushed deeply.

“O-oh, no, sir! It’s not – I’m queer as well but we’re both just friends, I promise,” he laughed, a bit embarrassed. Wow. Caught by Remus’ father. He wanted to sink his head into the ground, ostrich style, see if he never had to face anyone ever again. Was he so transparent?

“Ah, I see,” Lyall replied but he seemed like he didn’t believe Elías at all. “I’ll… I’ll get in contact with you. Elías, was it?”

“Yes,” he nodded, giving a kind smile. "Elías Fernández Oviedo, is my full name."

“Thank you,” Lyall murmured, his hand moving to squeeze Elías’ arm. “I don’t know where you came from or what exactly you’re doing here but… thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me. My Remus…” he paused, having to collect himself. “He’s my everything. He’s all that I’ve got left. Even if I only saw him once…”

“I know,” Elías replied, just as quiet. “I’m doing this gladly. I care about Remus.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s got friends like you on his side,” he smiled.

“I’m the lucky one, I’ll admit,” Elías laughed, finally standing, his knees cracking. “Ugh. Sorry about that, I’ve been standing in court all day. Hopefully, I’ll be seeing you soon, Mr Lupin.”

“Just call me Lyall,” he waved it away, giving Elías a smile so familiar. “Thank you.”

“Thank you. Have a good night, Lyall,” Elías bid goodbye, his bad mood completely forgotten, walking out of the Beast Division with a skip to his step and good news to be telling Remus. Things had gone a little better than he’d expected today.

He stepped into his classroom, still in his suit and cravat, realizing halfway through his way to the tower that he still had time to get to it, maybe, perhaps five minutes late. So as he finished climbing the stairs two by two, he opened the door of the classroom, making his Seventh Years turn to him, along with Severus, who seemed to have been about to start the lesson.

“I’m here! Sorry!” he called, panting a bit, walking into the classroom, making Severus cock an eyebrow as Elías took off his jacket, putting it over his desk. “I’m here, thank you, sorry,” he laughed a bit, patting the other Slytherin’s arm. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Severus pointed out.

“Right,” Elías mumbled, making some students laugh. “Well, in any case, I got this.”

“How did it go?” he asked.

“Bad,” Elías confessed, wincing. “I’ll tell you later –”

“Did you eat?” Severus asked, making Elías groan. “Elías…”

“I just came from the Ministry, are you really asking if I ate dinner, Sev?”

“You’re exhausted, you’re in no shape to teach,” Severus told him, crossing his arms and Elías waved in the general direction of the kids, eyebrows raising. “They’ll understand. I’ll take over for you.

“What? No! It’s fine, I’m _fine_ ,” Elías sighed deeply, turning to his classroom as Severus rolled his eyes. He began to work his cravat off, panting a bit, waving his wand in the air to make a small image of Andromeda. “Okay, class, we’ll start by reviewing some mayor mistakes I saw on the Andromeda essays and from then on, we can move on to questions. If anyone has a question as of right now, you’re free to start.”

Gods, taking off his cravat was heavenly and he put it on top of his desk, working on the first buttons of his crisp white shirt until he could breathe again, letting loose as the lesson began and leaning back against his desk. When he looked at his students, he found them all staring at him, quiet. 

“What?” Elías asked, confused, turning to Severus. “You’re still here?”

“You’re not teaching class,” Severus actually dared to pluck his wand from Elías’ hand, making his jaw drop and he reached back for it only for Severus to lift his hand and the fucker - the absolutely tallest one of his fucking friends, aside from Hagrid, dared to make him look _short_ in front of his students. Elías flushed, embarrassed until one of the students in the front row spoke up.

“You look very tired, professor,” he said softly.

“Yeah! Go to bed, professor!” a Ravenclaw on the back called.

"We have Professor Snape!"

“I’m fine!” Elías called tiredly, waving them off.

“Even your students know,” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him and Elías, who was petty and wanted to return that embarrassment, gave Severus a sickly sweet grin and lifted his foot to _stomp_ on his, Severus giving a yelp and doubling over. 

With that, Elías reached up easily and plucked his own wand from Severus’ fingers, the students giggling as Elías watched Severus stand back up, looking murderous.

“Go,” Severus grunted at him and Elías rolled his eyes as Severus pointed at the door. “I’m doing you a _favor_.”

“Then I’ll have to return it, sometime,” Elías replied, already thinking of all the ways to interrupt and bother Severus in one of his classes, taking his jacket and cravat and starting to walk to the door, “Goodnight, class! Don’t be too polite!”

“Bye, sir!”

“Goodnight, Elías,” Severus sighed.

But as Elías walked to his rooms, embarrassment and lighthearted humor bubbling inside him, he also felt grateful. He _was_ exhausted and Severus… well, Elías would need to return the favor. Maybe just not as overtly public.

* * *

  
  



	32. Crookshanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any of you are wondering, the songs Elias plays are Perth by Bon Iver and Amongster by Poliça.
> 
> Trigger warning for:  
> \- Mentions of dysphoria  
> \- Discussion of misogyny
> 
> Also, I've been thinking of maybe making a discord server to talk about the HP world with the intention of expanding on it and fixing obvious worldbuilding errors. If you're up for it, let me know!

On Friday, as the clock started to get closer to eight, Elías rushed to Remus’ office, hoping to catch him before he had to start his potions exam. He rushed between students, apologizing softly, trying to get to the fifth floor, pretty sure that he wouldn’t have time to go in-depth about Remus’ father but at least letting the man know what was going on.

“Remus!” he called as he opened the door, catching the man talking to the two most gossipy Gryffindors at Hogwarts - Parvati and Lavender. Oh no. “Oh,” he breathed, pausing as the two girls grinned widely at him. “Sorry, I can come back later?”

“That’d be for the best,” Remus nodded, giving him an apologetic smile, in the middle of an explanation, apparently. “Is it important?”

“I’ve to go to the dungeons so - yeah, I think we better leave it for later,” Elías panted a bit from his run, sighing. 

“Dinner later?” Remus offered. “Or -”

“Just pass by the dungeons whenever, I’ll be busy there with Severus,” Elías replied, making Remus nod, his eyes denoting exhaustion. Full moon was starting to approach. “You okay?” he asked a bit softly, even though the girls were right there, expectating everything with wide eyes and eager ears.

“Just tired,” Remus assured him. “We’ll talk later.”

“Alright,” Elías looked over at the girls, who both pretended to be busy. “Behave, you two,” he chided, lighthearted and a bit amused before walking out of the classroom, starting the slow descent to the dungeons.

He began to repeat the process of Amortentia to himself, under his breath, knowing them by heart now, promising himself to focus completely on the potion and not let it explode and hurt Severus  _ again _ . The bandage was still there, that he knew, and Elías felt guilt every time a hint of it appeared under Severus’ sleeve -  _ not _ that Elías was paying excessive attention to Severus’ hands and arms,  _ no _ . It was - worry for his friend. That was all.

He entered the dungeons, not knocking anymore, finding Severus by the desk and cauldron that Elías would use, trimming thorns from some roses. 

“I’m not going to hurt myself again,” Elías teased, Severus glancing over at him before he rolled his eyes.

“It’s not for you. I need some thorns as well,” he told Elías. “Pomfrey needs an antidote for a confounding potion and I offered to make one tonight.”

“Oh,” Elías said, surprised. “Did something happen?”

“A prank got out of hand, apparently,” Severus scowled. “Bloody children.”

“Don’t tell me,” Elías felt annoyance seep into his words. “The Weasley twins.”

“They’ve been sent to the Headmaster’s office but Dumbledore won’t do  _ anything _ to truly punish them,” Severus grunted as he dropped thorns into a crystal bowl as Elías got ready, taking off his sweater and pulling back his sleeves, starting to tie his hair back. “They’ll continue injuring students and being a pain for their rest of their time at Hogwarts.”

“They broke one of my antique telescopes,” Elías sighed, taking out his clean, crisp notes on Amortentia and setting them nearby, starting to sharpen the silver knife. 

“Of course they did,” Severus huffed, brow furrowed. 

“They’re two students whom I have no interest in helping - they don’t want to be helped, either, so like, fuck it, you know?” Elías said, a bit frustrated. “If school isn’t for them, then they should think of other options but  _ not _ disrupt it for everyone else.”

“Agreed,” Severus took the crystal bowl and turned around, looking at Elías before pausing. “Is… the back of your head shaved?” he asked, confused, making Elías blink.

“Yeah. It’s an undercut,” Elías explained, hand running through it. “You like it?”

Severus was silent, watching Elías with what looked like mild annoyance and after a moment, he moved on towards his desk and his own cauldron, not even replying, which probably meant yes, so Elías grinned to himself. He already felt himself becoming comfortable in the dungeons and he waited for Severus to give him permission to start, hands moving behind his back.

The potions master finished setting up his own work and turned to Elías, walking over to his side, Elías turning to face him fully. Severus looked him over, sighed, and then lifted his hand to flick Elías’ forehead.

“Ow! Why do you keep doing that?!”

“Because I don’t want you to become distracted and let this potion explode once more,” Severus scolded, making Elías grumble and glare at Severus. The other Slytherin, though, looked serious. “Elías, I need you to pay attention.”

“I know,” Elías murmured, eyes flickering to Severus’ left hand, seeing no bandage peeking out this time. “How’s your arm?” 

Severus looked at Elías’ expression, humming, “It’s fine,” he replied dryly.

“May I see?” Elías asked and Severus’ face went through various expressions before shutting down.

“No.”

“I - okay,” Elías quickly nodded, not wanting to pressure him, pursing his lips. “Can you actually promise me that it’s okay, though?”

“My arm is healed, Elías,” Severus sighed, making Elías nod slowly. “I’m alright.”

“Okay, okay - sorry,” Elías murmured. “I just - I worry, is all, okay? It was my fault in the first place and… I just wanted to check on it.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Severus replied calmly.

“Is it because of the Mark?” Elías asked before he could think it through, hands slapping over his mouth as he saw Severus’ face adopt a stony look. “Fuck. Foot in my mouth, I am  _ such _ an idiot. I’m so sorry, I won’t talk about it.”

“It’s -  _ fine _ ,” Severus gritted his teeth. “Worry about your potion, not my  _ arm _ .”

“Yes, sir,” Elías mumbled, turning to his cauldron and grabbing his long wand, the vine wood a comfort between his fingers. “How long?”

“Two minutes,” Severus replied, moving back to his desk,

“May I play music?” Elías asked him politely, blowing at some hairs that escaped his ponytail, too short to be tied, getting in the middle of his face.

“If it doesn’t distract you, yes,” Severus picked up his own silver knife and began to work it to the sharpest point, fingers gripping the wooden handle tight, curling -

Elías blew out a breath and focused on his own ingredients, reading his notes, thinking of passing this final test and nothing else. There would be no fighting today, no distractions, no devilishly sexy hands to peek at like an absolute  _ creep _ . No, none of that. And that’s why he decided to play one of the songs that he’d never found, a sweet and melancholic thing that began with the distinct sound of a flag hitting a pole in the wind. He didn’t know the name but he’d decided to call it  _ Who You Love _ . So the song was perhaps fitting.

It was soft, in any case, and it didn’t prompt Elías to move and dance but to enjoy the instrumentals and the lovely voice of the singer as Severus gave him the signal to start. 

Elías began, as two weeks prior, with heating up the water and pouring the sugar in, enough to last an entire month at Honeyduke’s, stirring magically while he started plucking petals from the de-thorned roses, singing along to the song quietly. He glanced over at the cauldron from time to time, frowning a bit when he realized that this definitely wasn’t the one he’d used when the explosion took place.

“Hey, Sev?” Elías called, making Severus look up from his own potion. “Were you not able to repair the other cauldron?”

“It was torn completely apart in the explosion, there was nothing to repair,” the Slytherin replied, throwing some Horklump juice into the mixture bubbling in his small pewter cauldron. 

“I’m sorry,” Elías said softly, feeling guilty. Golden cauldrons weren’t cheap.

“I have an assortment of those, thanks to Hogwarts budget,” Severus told Elías, cocking an eyebrow. “Instead of feeling guilty, you could strive to not break this one as well.”

Flushing, Elías’ eyes returned to his own work, plucking the petals faster, fingers staining with red. Today Elías felt so out of sorts, he was almost sure it was due to his most recent bout of dysphoria this morning. He still felt it, the inadequacy and the emasculation that it brought him, enough to render him a bit quieter, a bit less brazen than the usual. He just hoped nobody had noticed. Especially since he had to talk to Remus later.

The first few hours of the brewing process went by faster than Elías expected, what with his mind absolutely focused on the potion itself and not Severus puttering about. He played music that wasn’t too exciting, prepared the ingredients ahead of time, controlled the heat to a t and made sure that he wasn’t thinking of how to impress Severus, but on not blowing them both up.  _ Again _ .

Elías’ lower back hurt by the time he had applied all the proper moisture back to the potion, letting the shimmery pink mixture slowly stir ten times clockwise and ten times counterclock for an hour. He groaned lowly, stretching as much as he could, hearing his back crack and, in a moment of stupidity, reached out to his chest to adjust his binder. He blinked, looking down at his hand, feeling a spike of annoyance that his dysphoria seemed to be messing with him so much.

“Have you eaten -”

“Not hungry,” Elías sighed, cutting him off before he grabbed a chair and sat down on it backwards, letting his chin rest on the backrest. Another song whose title he didn’t know was playing low, more futuristic and different than any other song he’d heard. He liked this one. 

“You should still eat,” Severus frowned, corking the antidote into a basic potion glass, setting it down along with two others that his batch had wielded. “I’ll be going to deliver these to Pomfrey. I could bring some dinner?”

“It’s fine, Sev,” Elías murmured, eyes closing. “Just need to rest for five minutes.”

Elías heard no reply but he did hear Severus stepping closer to him, opening his blues only to have Severus very gently tilting his chin up from the chair, making Elías’ breath hitch. He hated when they did that, Remus and Severus. So tenderly, so gently, didn’t they know Elías had never been touched that way? Didn’t they see how he almost fell to the floor anytime they did that? What assholes.

Elías’ eyes lifted to Severus’ and Elías realized then that he had never met anyone with such black eyes. It was so strange, to see them exude worry instead of the annoyance and condescension that he’d seen through the years. But now Severus called him by his first name. And now Severus paused before touching him or did it with an obvious, easy way out of the grip. And now Severus worried about him and called him a friend and tolerated having his foot stomped on and having to teach a lesson late at night in the Astronomy Tower because Elías had asked him to.

“I’m not going to enable your habit of skipping meals, Elías,” Severus told him, very serious, making Elías purse his lips. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“It’s just dinner, dinner’s supposed to be light anyway,” Elías told him, voicing what his mother had told him time and time again. As if it was a convincing argument and not just something that had been drilled into him as a little girl.

“Light doesn’t mean  _ none _ ,” Severus scowled at him and Elías rolled his eyes, making Severus drop his chin. “You’re eating dinner.”

“You’re not my  _ father _ ,” Elías told him childishly.

“It seems I have to be, if you’re refusing to  _ eat _ ,” Severus flicked him on the forehead and Elías recoiled, frustrated. “I can bring dinner.”

“Fine,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face. “Sorry I’m such an inconv -”

“You are not,” was all he said before turning around and walking out of the dungeons, leaving Elías feeling like a dumbass as he realized just how difficult he was being. It was the fucking shot of testosterone, this one was a high dose, it was  _ bullshit _ .

He scooched his chair closer to the cauldron, looking into it and groaning as he realized it was starting to separate, taking his wand and performing a quick  _ aquamenti _ to give it a bit more liquidization, stirring stick in hand, churning it slowly. This time he hadn’t added the blood yet, so it wasn’t unstable and bubbling, but gentle and simmering. The smell wasn’t as strong, either, and he actually wondered if he had the option to not use his blood in this batch.

Elías was about to cut his finger open, just to get on with the potion, when there was a knock, startling him. “Come in?” he called, confused until Remus popped his head in, making Elías smile. “Oh hey! Hi!”

“Wow, the smell of rose is…  _ potent _ ,” Remus blinked, coughing a bit, waving his hand through the air before approaching Elías. “Where’s Snape?”

“Went to get something late to eat,” Elías replied, looking for the Billyweed sting. “What was going on with Lavender and Parvati?”

“They talked through the entire lesson and didn’t turn in their homework,” Remus sighed, arms crossing, leaning against the table as he watched Elías work. “I let them know that the next time, it would be detention for the disruption of the class.”

“They’re usually a bit quieter,” Elías frowned. 

“Not today,” Remus rubbed the back of his neck, peeking into the cauldron. “It looks good! How is it turning out?”

“Good, so far. Stable,” Elías answered, turning to Remus and giving a small smile. “So.”

“So,” Remus echoed, chuckling. “You wanted to talk to me?”

Today Remus wore a simple white button up, looking a bit more comfortable than when he’d been in class. The thought of him dressing down because he knew it was just Elías gave the Spaniard a little bubble of happiness tight in his stomach, making him relax.

“Yes, I did,” Elías nodded, adding the sting, watching it fizz and dissolve slowly into the now acidic mixture. Good, that’s what it was supposed to do. “So you know how I went to the Ministry of Magic yesterday, right?”

“Yes, you arrived late,” Remus nodded. “How did the trial go?”

“Horribly. I don’t want to talk about it,” Elías grunted, starting to sort out the Joberknoll feathers he’d have to add in a moment. “I did, however, pass by a certain department on my way out, just to see if I could get any help in the Buckbeak case. But it was pretty empty except for your father.”

Remus froze, watching Elías with disbelieving eyes. “P-pardon, what did you say?” he stuttered.

“I met your father, Remus,” Elías repeated, smiling softly. “You were right. You look  _ so much _ like him. He was so happy when I told him I worked with you - asked me how you were doing, if you were eating, if you were happy.”

“What did you tell him?” Remus asked, so very quiet, almost unheard under the bubbling of Elías’ cauldron. 

“I told him that you’re eating well. That you’re doing better,” Elías grinned as Remus covered his mouth with his hand, obviously emotional over this. “I told him how the students love you. How they think you’re the best DADA teacher they’ve ever had.”

“They don’t -”

“Oh, come on, Remus, they  _ do _ ,” Elías reached for Remus’ fingers, gently squeezing, feeling his heart flutter when Remus immediately entwined their fingers together. He still did that, whenever Elías and he were alone together. It made Elías feel a little bit special. “Next weekend - you two should meet up for dinner.”

“W-what?” Remus’ eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t know if he - if he’s ready for -”

“I asked him. He said he’d be happy to see you, to talk to you again,” Elías said softly, pulling Remus a bit closer with a sad little smile. “Remus,  _ please _ . On Wednesday you were telling me just how much you missed him, how much you wanted to see him. Give him a chance, just one? One dinner. Please.”

“I was… hoping to be -” Remus frowned, looking away as Elías kept an eye on his potion, still stirring with his free hand. “I just wish I was a better man by the time we see each other.”

“Well, I’ve no idea what you see in the mirror,” Elías began, cocking an eyebrow at him. “But I see a successful Hogwarts professor. A loved teacher. A man with friends and stability in his life. Could be doing better but he’s doing his best and I think that’s enough for the people who love you and care about you, you know?”

Remus sighed, rubbing his face, pulling on his scars with calloused fingers and Elías regretfully pulled his hand away to add the pearl dust and rose gold to the potion, watching it thicken considerably into something more potion-like. Unfortunately, he also had to add the blood now or never, so he took the knife, bringing it to his finger, slicing gently before letting a single drop fall within the cauldron.

Immediately, the smoke appeared, encasing Elías’ hand in a shapely heart, fuming with potent rose smell, making Remus sneeze. Elías laughed, fanning the smoke away.

“Sorry. Amortentia is annoying,” Elías giggled.

“It’s like walking into Madame Puddifoot's in Fourth Year all over again,” Remus gagged and bit and Elías laughed loudly, shaking his head. “It… shouldn’t it smell like Amortentia by now?”

“Oh, not yet,” Elías rolled his eyes. “This fucking thing needs three weeks to fully finish setting. It needs to ferment and sit under a crescent moon and  _ then _ it’ll work. It’s such a piece of shit potion - for essentially something that turns you into an obsessive creep.”

“You are very obviously not a fan of love potions,” Remus’ eyebrows lifted. “Not surprised.”

“They’re stupid. And dangerous,” Elías frowned deeply. “I greatly dislike them.”

“Well, you don’t have to sell it or give it to anyone. You can just dump it outside,” Remus suggested, looking into the cauldron before blinking. “Oh but it looks kind of beautiful, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, it’s really pretty,” Elías laughed, nodding. “In any case, I am pretty sure I’ll be dumping it, if Severus has no use for it.”

“Use for what?”

Elías looked up to the door, seeing Severus walk in with a bowl in his hand, spoon in the other, setting both items down on his own desk. It smelled of chicken stock and Elías realized then just  _ how _ hungry he was, scurrying over to grab the bowl and immediately starting to inhale his dinner, making Severus raise an eyebrow at the Spaniard.

“Hungry?” he asked dryly and Elías flushed, nodding. “As I supposed.”

“Did you skip dinner again?” Remus asked Elías with a frown and Elías shrugged, looking at his potion instead of his two friends behind him. 

“Look, I was busy,” Elías defended, reaching for the Lady’s Mantle, dropping the dried flower into the potion, so glad that he was so close to being done for the day and  _ nothing had exploded _ . Yet.  _ Yet _ . “Thanks for the food, Sev,” he added, turning around to look at the man only to find him busy watching over the cauldron. “It’s almost done,” Elías told him.

“Looks stable,” he hummed, reaching over to grab the ladle from the table, his chest pressing to Elías’ back as he did and Elías felt his spoon almost drop to the potion, brain short-circuiting. Severus was obscenely warm. “I believe it only needs the Lovage and the peppermint?”

“Right. Yes,” Elías nodded, a bit robotically, swallowing past his knot with a spoonful of soup, glad that it wasn’t anything overly solid. He didn’t think he’d be able to get it down. “But those are going to come later, I want it to brew a bit more so it has a chance to dissolve anything.”

“No chance for explosions,” Severus smirked a bit at Elías and the Spaniard flushed.

“I  _ told _ you I was going to be more careful,” he mumbled, eyes moving to the potion with a little frown of embarrassment.

“I jest,” Severus reassured, one hand moving to the small of Elías’ back, as if to reassure him and Elías really did  _ not _ have to think about those hands. He did not. Why had he even admitted to finding Severus’ hands hot in the first place? This was ultimately Remus’ fault.

“My, my, the day has come where I’ve heard a joke from you,” Remus teased slightly, making Severus roll his eyes.

“Lupin, the day I  _ joke _ with you will be the day the Earth implodes,” he stated dryly.

“Hey, hey,” Elías reminded them, finishing up his soup and putting the bowl away, taking the ladle from Severus. “Let me remind you all that we’re all friends here? No animosity. This is a fight-free zone.”

“Until  _ you _ start the fight,” Severus threw at him.

“He’s right,” Remus stated and Elías glared at Remus.

“Don’t side with him, you’re supposed to side with  _ me _ .”

“Eyes on the potion, Fernández,” Severus chided, making Elías turn back to his cauldron. “Is there a reason you’re here, Lupin, aside from distracting my pupil with needless conversation?”

Elías brightened up at the world, surprised that Severus actually considered Elías his pupil. Did that mean that he was going to teach him more about potions? Would this thing still keep going, even after he’d finished Amortentia?

“Elías told me he had something important to tell me,” Remus explained, turning to Elías. “I should go but - we’ll talk about this deeper when we’ve the time?”

“Please, yes,” Elías nodded, then laughed. “Maybe in Camposoto.”

“Oh, no, that’s heavy talk,” Remus laughed back, stepping closer and kissing Elías’ forehead, the Spaniard smiling at the now familiar gesture. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good luck with your potion.”

“Thanks, Remus,” he said softly, watching him leave, feeling the brush of Remus’ lips against his skin even after he shut the door of the dungeons, unaware of a little sigh escaping his lips. He wanted to talk to Remus in depth about his father, ask what was going on in his head. He didn’t like leaving Remus to ruminate on unspoken thoughts and confusing matters. It felt like a bad idea.

“Focus on your potion,” Severus reminded him, his knuckles knocking on the top of Elías’ head softly, snapping Elías out of it and turning to his cauldron again. “I thought you’d moved on from him?” he questioned.

“You  _ know _ better than anyone that that’s not as easy as it seems,” Elías rolled his eyes.

“Alright, I’ll rephrase it - I thought you were happy just being his friend?”

“I am!” Elías assured. “I am, just… doesn’t mean I don’t still like him. It’s more about how I - how I act around him?” he frowned, trying to explain himself. “Okay, let me actually put my thoughts together, I’m explaining myself very poorly,” Elías chuckled, still stirring the potion, feeling Severus come a bit closer to listen to him. “So there’s what you feel and then there’s what you do with those feelings, right? I explained this to Harry Potter on the first term,” with a hum, he added the second batch of arnica syrup, working with tight arms to integrate it into the potion before the heat caramelized it. “So there’s this feeling of love, right? Affection, romantic yearning, and it’s going to be there and you can’t  _ help it _ . That’s just a fact. Liking someone, fancying them? You can’t help that. So never feel guilty about it.  _ But _ it’s what you do with that affection that is directly  _ your _ responsibility. Instead of being pushy and being an asshole to Remus, telling him that he was too affectionate or he led me on or any of the things that went through my mind for one second when he rejected me? I just took a deep breath and nodded, told him that I needed some time to process that.”

“... you told him you just needed time?” Severus asked, confused. 

“I did,” Elías shrugged. “To get over that hurt, you know?”

“But -” Severus looked frustrated. “But he’s  _ lying _ .”

“Sev,” Elías sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Remus wouldn’t lie about something like that. We’re close, I  _ kissed him _ . Without fucking - permission, which was so fucking disgusting of me -”

“He’s  _ lying _ ,” Severus repeated, insistent, Elías glaring up at him. “He fancies you.”

“Remus is a thirty-three year old  _ gay _ man who is calm, gentle and muted in colors because he doesn’t like to stand out,” Elías stated firmly, looking at Severus with annoyance. “I’m a twenty-two year old  _ transgender  _ man who dyes his hair in crazy colors, has his body covered in tattoos and has more jewelry on his ears than anyone probably should. Do you truly mean to tell me that Remus would glance twice at me and think,  _ oh, he’s alright for a shag or more _ ?”

Severus lifted his hand and smacked Elías over the head, the Astronomy professor almost dropping his stirring stick, gasping.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Severus barked at him. “You’re a  _ man _ anyway. What does being transgender have to do with this?”

“I don’t know if you ever thought about this, but I do not have a  _ cock _ ,” Elías hissed.

“So?” Severus rolled his eyes. “Big deal, sex isn’t everything.”

“How wise of you, why don’t you tell that to the rest of the world, obsessed with my genitals?” Elías suggested.

“You truly think Lupin would care?” the potioneer glared at Elías and Elías kept his eyes on the potion, not speaking. After a moment of silence, Severus spoke a bit quieter, “Ah, no. You think  _ anyone _ would care.”

“What’s it to you?” Elías bit out, annoyed and a bit hurt as he felt inadequacy take over him. 

“You’re helping me with… my feelings,” Severus threw out the word like roadkill, discarded to the side, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible and Elías sighed, looking up at the man. “It’s only fair that I help you with yours.”

“There’s no way I’m talking about my trans issues with you - or with anyone for that matter,” Elías told him, firm. 

“Why?” Severus asked bluntly.

“Because it’s  _ personal _ ,” Elías frowned, his arm starting to get sore as he kept stirring. He began to add moisture so very slowly with a controlled water spell, the tip of his long wand dripping little by little into the halfway-done Amortentia. 

“Are you embarrassed or is it truly personal and you don’t wish to tell me?” Severus dared and Elías gritted his teeth.

“Look, I don’t need -”

“Isn’t it better? To talk about things?” Severus pressed and Elías wanted to wring his neck because he was  _ right.  _ And if Elías wanted to set a healthy example for Severus, then he had to admit it and actually talk about his dysphoria, which he didn’t want to  _ do _ with anyone. Most of all Remus and Severus - no, scratch that, his own family was at the top of that list. They didn’t want to hear it anyway. “I just think it’d be better to talk of this.”

“I’m not comfortable with it,” Elías spelled out for Severus, hand gripping his wand tightly with an angry look in his face.

“Then I’ll leave it alone,” Severus sighed, making Elías blink at him, surprised that he’d truly dropped it. “But if you ever wish to speak… to anyone who will listen? About this? Just know… that I am here,” Severus looked away, taking the empty bowls Elías had over the table next to the cauldron. 

“I -” Elías sighed, swallowing as he finished up with the water and continued to stir, this time not needing as much strength. “I’m thankful for that, Severus, but whenever I try to talk about being trans, it’s… just not a good time,” he made a face. “If I talk about the superficial things? That’s fine, I can skim over the details and stuff but… in depth? Not even other trans folk have understood me, though perhaps it’s that the only other trans people I’ve met are women and nonbinary people.”

“Non-what?” Severus frowned.

“Nonbinary people. Neither man nor woman,” Elías replied and Severus nodded. “Anyway, it’s - it’s quite… a lot of layers. And a lot to talk about. It’s not just being trans, you know, it’s… how I feel as a  _ man _ who was raised as a  _ woman _ . With all the misogyny, all the sexual exploitation, all the insecurities of a woman and  _ then _ , also, the insecurities of a man.”

“Do you… struggle with women’s problems?” Severus asked, confused.

“Oh yeah,” Elías laughed, putting out the fire, letting the potion slowly cool as he easily stirred it counterclock. “It’s a doozy. I  _ still _ get scared if I’m alone at night on the streets.”

Severus frowned deeply, seemingly perturbed by the fact, watching Elías finish up the first day of potion-brewing without any incident.

“What other problems do you find yourself struggling with?” Severus asked quietly.

“I dunno, like - fuck, the internalized transphobia?” Elías freed his hair to retie it, wanting to make it a bit tighter. “Like, teenage girls take the brunt of absolutely everyone? Everybody hates teenage girls and I was no exception. I was either an attention-seeking whore or this absolutely stupid ass  _ baby _ . Or simply annoying, bossy, a know-it-all, a bimbo… you get it. So whenever I struggle with something, I immediately think that I’m either too stupid or that I’d rather throw myself off a window than let a  _ man _ help me, y’know? And it’s instinctual!” he huffed, pulling apart the leftover roses as he magically stirred, this time clockwise. 

“Do… women really think that way since teenagehood?” Severus blinked. 

“Like men are always ready to dismiss them, hit them or fuck them? Oh yeah,” Elías laughed dryly. “Or at least, I sure felt that way. I thought for the longest time that being trans was just like, me seeking attention? Like I wanted to be special or some shit that I was told when I was a kid.”

“That is  _ absurd _ ,” Severus sputtered, watching Elías. “How - why would you want to willingly go through -”

“It’s the misogyny, Sev, it all stems from misogyny,” Elías rolled his eyes. “Well, not  _ everything _ . But this part sure does. One thing I see is that a lot of people dismiss Ara Zang and Hermione Granger as insufferable and know-it-all’s, when they’re the smartest people at Hogwarts in the student body, as far as I can tell. Hermione especially. Yet people treat her like an annoying little fly that’s here to shit on their meal.”

“She  _ is _ an insufferable know-it-all, though,” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh? And do you treat Cormac McLaggen the same way?” Elías threw and Severus froze, actually pausing to think about it, his eyebrow shooting up as Elías gave him an annoyed look.

“I… do not,” he realized. “I - do  _ not _ ,” Severus breathed, hands moving to rest on the table, exhaling long and slow. “I… had not realized -”

“It’s so normalized, obviously you didn’t notice,” Elías sighed. “But yeah. Next time you want to dismiss Hermione Granger for studying hard to compensate for her blood-status that will always hold her back from getting any important positions in any Ministry job - or to compensate for the glass ceiling that offers her nothing but sexual harassment at work and copious amounts of  _ oh, you’ve got the job, just not the salary of that job _ \- then think about it, huh?” he locked his jaw, watching the Amortentia sitting now tranquil on the desk. It had to ferment now, for three weeks. And he’d have to come every night to stir it. 

“I didn’t think -” Severus cut himself off, realizing that his phrasing wasn’t any good to this kind of conversation. “Did you…?”

“What?” Elías turned to Severus. “Ever get hurt from how, despite being good at potions and being a Slytherin, apparently I was enough of a know-it-all, an annoying little  _ bitch _ to you as a teenager and kid for you to hate me?”

Severus winced, looking away.

“No, no, motherfucker,  _ look at me _ when I’m calling you out,” Elías snapped, making Severus sigh, turning to Elías. “What? Was it that I looked up to you and I was this little thing whom you could bully the same way you do Neville Longbottom or any Gryffindor in your class? Or was it that I reminded you of  _ you _ and you decided yelling at me every class was the way to just make me want to be further from you?”

“The latter,” Severus confessed in a murmur. “...and also the first,” he admitted.

“Right,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face hard, shoulders dropping. “Gods, I get it that you’re angry at Remus for bullying you as a kid, Sev, I - I  _ understand _ . But Remus  _ has _ changed and he admits that Gods, that was super fucking shitty. I never got an apology from you and because of you, I gave up  _ potions _ . And they’re my  _ favorite fucking thing _ .”

“I never wanted -”

“It doesn’t  _ matter _ what you wanted. How you felt and how you acted are two different things, I’ve said this before,” Elías turned fully to Severus, the table standing between them. “I just -” he felt his eyes burn a bit, swallowing hard, looking down at the wooden table instead of Severus. “I admired you so much. I read your books and saw all the published papers you had on Weekly Potioneer. I thought - I thought that I could be as cool as you, you know? I was a  _ kid _ . I was a  _ muggleborn kid _ , Sev. I had learned about magic through my sister four years prior and the French are incredible potioneers. I would sneak into her room in the summers and read her potion books, wondering what it would be like if I was a wizard.” 

Elías took off his ponytail again, letting it loose since a headache had begun to build. “I wanted it so badly. I wanted a cauldron, I wanted to bottle glory and fame, I wanted to confound the senses and I wanted to avoid death. I wanted it  _ all _ . I absorbed everything that I could, just because I kept thinking that I wasn’t supposed to, that they’d kick me out of Hogwarts anytime. My own House mates ignored me, bullied me, and nobody did  _ anything _ to stop it.”

Severus looked nauseous, looking away, hand moving over his mouth.

“I…” the potions master seemed a bit caught off guard and Elías rubbed his cheek, noticing his stubble a bit rougher than usual. He’d forgotten to put on the cream. What a silly thing to think about, now. “I don’t know what to say, Elías,” Severus confessed.

“You really don’t?” Elías asked sadly, looking up at Severus with pained blues. “I suppose it’s too early,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, sighing, moving a cloth over the cauldron and tying a rope around the lip. “Well, I’ll come back tomorrow night to stir it,” he whispered, trying to change the subject. “Thanks for supervising.”

Elías tried not to look at Severus, knowing his emotions were rising up to the surface and a simple breeze would make them spill over the edge, instead grabbing his bag and notes and starting to exit the dungeons. Severus stayed there, watching Elías leave, his eyes an itchy point on Elías’ head as he climbed up the stairs, realizing how exhausted he was.

Severus was changing, that much was sure, but tonight had been an example that he hadn’t just magically realized all his faults and all the things he did wrong. It was  _ normal _ , of course. It was a gradual process and Elías was proud of Severus for even  _ trying _ but… it still hurt, to think that Severus couldn’t think of a single thing to tell him after Elías had once again spilled his guts all over the floor, uncaring of how he’d pick them up, how he’d clean after them. A trail of blood followed him every time Elías dared to speak about his feelings and he hated that he always felt overly emotional, always ready to cry after it.

He wanted to have better mental health, he wanted to stop pressing everything inside, oversharing to compensate for the things he never told others. He’d never had friends to spill secrets to but now that he had them, he realized it was only  _ scarier _ than with his family.

In his rooms, he tried to gather himself and wash away all those negative emotions - he washed his face, applied cream to his stubble (more like slowly growing beard), took off his jewelry, donned his favorite pajamas (basket shorts and a tight muscle shirt that reminded him of the comfort of a binder) and grabbed his ukulele, sitting down on his couch to play mindlessly, take his mind off things. Elías was comfortable, tired,  _ exhausted _ even but he knew he wouldn’t sleep very well. Too much on his mind.

He wished he could bother Remus.

They’d maybe go to San Fernando, talk on the beach, cuddle a bit and bitch about something or other until Remus and he fell asleep on his comfortable couch. Elías pulled a face and began to play random notes, not thinking much about it. He didn’t want to think too much of Remus, as much as it pained him. Remus had rejected him, Remus had explicitly told him that he had no feelings for Elías and maybe it was time Elías invested his heart into something else. Or someone else. Someone with really nice -

“ _ ¡¿Y a tí qué cojones te pasa?! ¡Es que no aprendes, Elías! _ ” he shouted in frustration, throwing his ukulele to the other couch and pressing his hands to his own eyes, kicking his feet, aggression building. “You never fucking learn,” he mumbled, sighing. 

“ _ Mmmreow _ ,” a little voice responded and Elías sprung up on the couch, eyes wide, wondering what the  _ fuck _ was a cat doing in his rooms, looking around. He didn’t see the cat at first, glancing over his lounging area. But then,  _ “Meow _ !”

“Hello,” Elías smiled as he saw two beady, yellow eyes under the ottoman pressed to the wall, standing from the couch before immediately pressing himself to the carpet, extending a gentle hand. “ _ Pspspspspsps! Hola, pequeño michi. Me llamo Elías. ¿Eres salvaje o tienes un dueño? _ ”

The cat meowed again and Elías breathed in, closing his eyes, evoking a part of himself that he hadn’t used in years to slip into his animagus form, body shifting into a snowy siberian cat with vivid blue eyes, poofy tail curling with curiosity as he approached the fluffy orange buddy under the ottoman.

“ _ Are you lost?”  _ he asked the stranger, sniffing him, pupils enlarging as the other cat moved his paw to reveal the pinkest beans Elías had ever seen, his heartbeat skyrocketing.  _ Cat beans _ . His one weakness.

“ _ No, I was looking for you _ ,” the ginger stranger replied, licking his paw. 

“ _ But I’ve never seen you _ ,” Elías replied, so confused.

“ _ Padfoot has _ .”

Elías paused, tail going straight, eyes moving to the other cat’s with now his full attention. This was very obviously Crookshanks, what with its adorable squashed face and the wild orange fur. 

“ _ Hermione is looking for you _ ,” Elías told him.

“ _ Padfoot needs me _ ,” he replied.

“ _ Then bring me to him, _ ” Elías came closer, sitting down, ready. “ _ I will help him as long as you go back to Hermione. _ ”

“ _ We’ll see _ .”

With that, Crookshanks leaped out from under the ottoman and Elías followed readily, albeit a bit clumsy. He hadn’t taken his cat shape in so long, it felt foreign and freeing at the same time, feeling his own spotted beans touching carpet, then stone. Ah, so Crookshanks had gotten in through the window. Smart fellow.

The two cats jumped to the windowsill and Crookshanks easily leaped into another window, making Elías pause, meowing with discontent. Crookshanks turned around, meowing with annoyance until Elías dared to jump - barely making it, his little back feetsies slipping and scrambling to find footing, clambering his way into the window with a distressed cat noise. Crookshanks didn't seem to care, slipping into the classroom and finding a hole within the stone walls, Elías following the best he could - he was a breed of cat that was *big*, bigger than Crookshanks, so he had to make sure he wouldn't just get stuck on the wall. When he didn't, he found himself staring at the tube system for Hogwarts, Crookshanks descending over the copper, meowing at Elías to hurry up. 

Elías complied, ears twitching as he heard way too much - Gods, he really should be a cat more often. Otherwise the noises and smells would be so overwhelming. It was hard enough to get used to the cat eyes.

Crookshanks led him down the floors of the castle until they reached another hole, slipping out of it only to be faced with the outside of Hogwarts, facing the Forbidden Forest. Elías curiously looked around to see if there was anyone patrolling and, sure enough, the Dementors were ambling around the terrains. Elías didn’t like being in cat form around those soul-sucking creatures, not when he was so vulnerable. He hadn't even practiced his patronus yet.

But also, closer to the castle, he saw a familiar dark shape - Severus. What was he doing out of bed? He looked like he was taking a stroll but thanks to Elías' cat sight, he could see the frown etched on his face. Was he still thinking about what they'd talked about during the brewing?

" _ Mmmreow!" _ Crookshanks called and Elías let out a little hiss of annoyance, following after him. What a pushy little beast. Elías was pretty sure he was part kneazle, what with his mane like that. Poor Hermione, trying to tame him. Of course he'd gone after Ron's rat.

The trip down the castle was much more complex than Elías had anticipated, supposing a challenge for his not-so-trained cat form. He would much rather lounge and nap and eat as a cat than do this sort of exercise, so by the time they finally touched grass, Elías was panting and wheezing, furry legs shaking before he fell flat against the wet cushion of green. Crookshanks turned around, sat beside Elías and began to clean his asshole, making Elías grumble a bit, his tail flat. He had wet fur now and he already had a bad night with Severus so he  _ hoped _ Sirius would at least tell him who the  _ fuck _ had betrayed them all.

He also hoped the answer wouldn’t hurt much.


	33. Cat's Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius!!!! Sirius!!!! SIRIUUUUUUS!!!!
> 
> I am so fucking happy about this chapter, y'all have no idea. I wanted to do Sirius for so long and now he's finally here!!!

Passing by the Dementors really brought out the worst doubts in Elías as he followed Crookshanks into the Forbidden Forest, the skeletal, covered figures glancing at the two of them before deciding that two cats weren’t worth it. If they’d been closer, they would’ve soon found out that Elías wasn’t a cat. Lucky as it was, their presence still made Elías shiver and scurry after the orange half-kneazle, bumping his side, Crookshanks reached over to lick over his cheeks and whiskers, encouraging Elías.

“ _ They’re easy to avoid _ ,” the cat told him

“ _ They don’t affect your emotions like they do mine _ ,” was all Elías replied, slipping under some bushes so the two could come out into the thick forest, out of the Dementor’s sight.

The moon shone down on the trees from the outside but inside the forest, the darkness had taken over. Elías let out a little hissing noise, tail going straight, not liking all the sounds he was hearing from everywhere around him. Crookshanks stepped closer walking over to a path and sticking to it. Elías decided to be smart as well and almost stepped over Crookshanks’ heels, following him closely, not wanting to get lost. 

_ Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary _ , Elías thought, his wide pupils looking up at the canopy of the trees, finding not a single peek of the sky. He felt utterly, terribly alone, without the stars to guide him - ever since he’d learned to sail, he needed the sky, needed the hands of his forefathers, saw Orion and felt calmer. But there was no Orion where the trees hunched, temperature dropping with each meter Crookshanks and Elías advanced, slowly freezing Elías’ soft beans.

It was about fifteen minutes later that Crookshanks finally deviated from the path, towards a hollow fallen tree, meowing loudly to get some attention. Elías followed, a bit wary until he saw a dirty, shaky hand reach out to pet Crookshanks between his ears, the cat purring at the nice treatment.

“Hey there, buddy,” Sirius rasped, coughing wetly and Elías’ fur stood on its ends. Sirius was sick. It was so cold here, so humid, he probably had so much shit in his lungs - “Who’s this over here? A friend of yours?”

Before Elías could blink, Sirius had stumbled out of the tree and picked him up, holding him between his arms, scritching him under his chi -  _ oh… so nice _ .

Elías found himself purring loudly, like a motor, tilting his furry head back so Sirius would keep scratching at him, poofy tail swishing and curling. He’d forgotten the  _ best _ part of being a cat - getting pandered on, people swooning over how soft he was.

“You’re  _ gorgeous _ ,” Sirius breathed, a bit raspy, and Elías shook his head and flicked his ears as he stopped scratching, annoyed. Why’d he stop? “Wow.  _ Wow _ . Your  _ eyes  _ \- you’re the most gorgeous cat I’ve ever seen.”

Alright, enough flattery. Time for the truth.

Elías let himself shift back, the Gryffindor yelping as he did, gripping him tight before Elías fell to the cold forest floor, now holding the Slytherin bridal, blinking at Elías with wide eyes.

“Thank you,” Elías grinned, patting his grimy face. “I’m afraid I can’t return the compliment, though, you look  _ awful _ .”

“You - I -” Sirius stuttered before starting to cough, making Elías hurry to get off his arms, standing and rubbing the man’s back. For a while, the man tried to gain his strength back and Elías worriedly brushed the back of his hand over his forehead, eyes going wide.

“Fucking  _ Christ _ , you’re burning up,” Elías breathed, rushing to put his arm around Sirius’ waist from the back, throwing the man’s arm over his shoulders. “Come on, get some support on me. We’re going to the Shrieking Shack  _ right now _ .”

“But someone could c-catch -”

“No, only Remus and I go there,” Elías promised, making Sirius almost go limp from relief, stumbling next to Elías, obviously limping. “Did you hurt your leg?”

“Had a bad run with a centaur,” Sirius winced and Elías looked down to see his ankle twisted slightly. “I’ll b-be fine.”

“Gods,  _ Sirius _ , you - thank  _ fuck _ that Crookshanks found me,” Elías whispered, frowning at the man, then looking down at Crookshanks as the cat followed him. “You were being insistent because you were worried, huh?” he whispered, looking at the little beast fondly. “You, sir, deserve all the tuna I can steal from the kitchens.”

Crookshanks meowed, brushing against Elías’ legs, the Slytherin smiling softly.

“You’re  _ so _ fucking weird,” Sirius panted a bit, laughing breahtlessly. “You’re a Seer but you didn’t know where I was?”

“It doesn’t work  _ that _ way,” Elías scowled, looking over at Sirius before asking. “And why don’t you shift to a dog, huh? It’d keep you warmer.”

“I’m tired of being a dog,” Sirius murmured, looking sad and Elías gave him a bit of sympathy, pulling out his wand and performing a warmth charm, making Sirius groan lowly. “Thank you,” he coughed, the three of them walking through the forest pathing. “Dodging the Dementors -”

“It’ll be fine, we’ll go through the Whomping Willow. It’s far enough away that I can make a patronus without drawing too much attention,” Elías explained, pursing his lips. “Have you eaten recently? How long have you been sick? We should get you warmed up first and then we can think about the best way to sneak food to you.”

“You’re a bloody blessing,” Sirius laughed again and Elías gave a chuckle of his own.

“Oh, I’m not,” Elías quickly said, shaking his head, giving him a small smile. “I just really like Remus. I wouldn’t want his best friend to waste away, y’know.”

“You’re so confusing,” Sirius grunted, looking over at Elías. “First you b-beat me up, then you fix my nose, you shove me under your bed,  _ Snivellus walks into your room  _ -”

“Don’t use that name,” Elías scolded him, firm and final, using his professor voice and making Sirius’ jaw click shut. “This isn’t your school years. And Severus is my friend. So please, keep the insults to yourself.”

“Why are you helping  _ me _ if  _ Snape _ is your friend?” he asked, incredulous, gasping as Elías shifted his hold on Sirius to step over an obstacle on the path. 

“Remus,” Elías replied, quietly, swallowing hard as he looked forward. “And Harry. Remus deserves his friend back, Harry deserves a  _ family _ . And you deserve justice. That’s what I want, and why I’m doing it. I don’t give two shits if you bullied someone in high school. You did  _ not _ betray the Potters and I know it.”

Sirius was silent for a moment, the only sound he made being his hard breathing and his occasional cough until he broke it, “...thanks,” he murmured.

“Who did it, Sirius?” Elías finally asked, anxiety biting at him, eyes wide. “Who the  _ fuck _ was the Secret-Keeper?”

“I hope you aren’t tired of seeing the past,” Sirius gave a rough, bitter laugh. “Because bloody hell, I’m about to lay it on you when we arrive.”

* * *

The Shrieking Shack was in shambles and even though it wasn’t much warmer, it  _ did _ have a roof and walls and a broken down bed. Elías quickly let Sirius lean against the wall and repaired the bed to the best of his abilities, focusing on the mattress mostly and throwing a cleaning spell on the blankets on it. Once it was decent, Elías helped Sirius lay down, the man letting out a small gasp of relief, eyes closing, face red with fever.

“You need a shower,” Elías sighed, sitting down beside him on the mattress, Crookshanks curling at his feet. “And food.  _ So much soup _ .”

“I’d kill for some food, to be honest,” Sirius rasped, giving him a lopsided smile. “Don't suppose you've some chocolate in your pockets, do you?”

"Remus ate it all," Elías snorted, rolling his eyes, grabbing a piece of wood off the floor and transforming it into a metal goblet, pouring clean water inside. Sirius sat up a bit and when Elías gave it to him, he drank it quick. After filling it twice, he seemed to relax fully, eyes closing, resting his head against the wall.

“Are you sure you’re not an angel?” he asked, popping one grey eye open, laughing.

“Far from it,” Elías replied dryly, getting comfortable on the mattress. “Now - I need you to tell me who betrayed the Potters. This is  _ integral _ , Sirius. Remus and I have been trying to figure it out -”

“You keep mentioning Remus,” Sirius’ smile dropped a bit, adopting a sadder note. “But I’m pretty sure that if he saw me, he’d throw himself at my throat.”

“Possibly,” Elías admitted. “But he also knows you’re innocent. Trust me, I… I made sure he knew.”

“You two are friends?” Sirius asked.

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded.

“But you’re also friends with Sn -” he paused. “With Snape.”

“Yes,” the Spaniard cocked an eyebrow. “We’re adults here.”

“Right, right, yes,” Sirius sighed, rubbing his face. “Sorry, it’s just… pretty sure last I knew, Snape was a  _ Deatheater _ .”

“He’s -” Elías winced. “He’s  _ trying _ . Key word is trying. He’s a decent man, just… it’s hard for him?”

“Mmm,” Sirius replied, eyebrows raising, unimpressed. “Anyway, it was fucking Pettigrew.”

Elías paused, arrow of truth striking him right in the stomach and the Slytherin fought to keep his dinner in, hand slapping over his mouth. No.  _ No _ . No, Peter was dead, Peter was - he couldn’t - Remus had said he -

_ Peter… he was in awe of Sirius. He admired him and I think - I think he was a bit jealous _ .

“That  _ bitch _ ,” Elías gasped, feeling anger swelling inside him. “That  _ motherfucker _ .”

“That fucking  _ rat _ has been living off the Weasleys for thirteen years,” Sirius said slowly, dangerously. “They fucking call him Scabbers. The youngest of the boys -”

“ _ Ron’s rat _ ,” Elías threw his hands into his hair, eyes wide. “Ron’s rat and - oh my Gods, Crookshanks was trying to get him for you! Fuck!  _ Fuck!  _ I touched him. I gave that rat some cheese during class. I fucking  _ told him he was cute _ ! What the fuck! Oh my Gods!”

“Yeah, hurts, doesn’t it?” Sirius laughed, no mirth to it. “I’m going to fucking kill him. I’m going to  _ enjoy _ killing him.”

“Don’t be fucking  _ stupid _ ,” Elías told Sirius, slapping his arm, making Sirius look up at the professor. “He’s how we prove your innocence.”

“I don’t  _ care about my innocence  _ -”

“But you care about Harry, don’t you?” Elías cut in, making Sirius freeze. “He’s with Lily’s muggle relatives. And they  _ hate _ Harry. They neglect and abuse him. Would you truly throw away everything for a single moment of satisfaction?”

“No,” Sirius whispered.

“No,” Elías agreed, sighing deeply, rubbing his face. “Motherfucking  _ Peter Pettigrew _ .”

“I caught him,” Sirius explained, quietly. “And he cut his finger and - and killed the whole street, no hesitation. It was like I never  _ knew him _ -”

Elías reached over, gripping Sirius’ arm, worried, “Save your energy. You need to recover,” the Spaniard filled his goblet again and Sirius took it gratefully. “Gods, there’s  _ so much _ we need to talk about,” he sighed, hand running through his hair. “Severus can’t find you.”

“Oh, I bet he’d love to find me,” Sirius snickered, making Elías slap his arm. “Hey!”

“This is serious!” Elías pressed.

“Yeah,” he turned to Elías, smirking. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh my  _ Gods _ ,” Elías laughed, hands pressing to his face because that was the  _ stupidest joke _ he’d ever heard, giggling hard. “Oh my Gods, how could anyone ever think you’re a murderer?”

“I mean, I can get angry,” Sirius shrugged. “I  _ am _ angry. But… Merlin, it’s a  _ relief _ to talk to someone. Even if uh… he has green hair.”

“My hair is  _ great _ , thank you very much,” Elías rolled his eyes.

“I don’t like green,” Sirius stated, reaching over to scritch Crookshanks.

“I  _ love _ green,” Elías replied and then also sneaked a hand to Crookshanks, smiling as the cat purred. “Good boy,” he told the cat. “You did so well. Thanks to you, Sirius can get some help now.”

Crookshanks simply meowed and Elías laughed, smiling wide. 

“Remus will be so happy to hear you’re safe,” he told Sirius, the man looking sad at the statement. “Hey -  _ hey _ . I promise things will be okay with you and him. He was so relieved to hear you weren’t…”

“A Deatheater?” Sirius asked, swallowing hard. “Fuck, no, but that’s not fair. I’m a  _ Black _ .”

“That doesn’t mean you’re  _ evil _ ,” Elías frowned. 

“I don’t know about that,” Sirius rubbed his face, looking at the grime in his hands and Elías sighed a bit, swallowing. “Did… did Harry like the Firebolt?”

“I  _ knew _ it’d been you,” Elías grinned. “Yeah, he did. A  _ lot _ . He was so happy - McGonagall confiscated it to test it for jinxes but he got it back. He almost cried,” Elías laughed.

Sirius was beaming, looking so happy that it broke Elías’ heart. He looked  _ handsome _ . Like the Sirius he’d seen in his Sights. Like a man whole, clean, free. Soon he would be. Elías promised himself that he would.

“I’m glad,” Sirius said quietly. “Merlin, I - that kid has grown  _ so much _ . Looks like a carbon copy of James.”

“He just keeps getting taller,” Elías nodded, smiling softly. “Honestly, next year he’ll grow taller than me.”

“You’re kind of short, that’s not a big fe -”

“Finish that sentence and you’ll be shitting that goblet,” Elías warned, making Sirius laugh loudly, throwing his head back before starting to cough again, worrying Elías. 

“Shite -”

“I’ll bring you some medicine for that, don’t worry,” Elías assured, hand moving to rub Sirius’ back. “Bring you some soup, make sure you’ve got food around for when I’m not.”

“Thank you,” Sirius sighed, sliding down the bed and closing his eyes. “...what was your name again?” he asked, turning to the Spaniard.

“Elías,” the Slytherin smiled down at him. “Elías Fernández Oviedo. At your service.”

“That sounds Spanish as hell,” Sirius stated. “But you sound American?”

“Yep,” Elías grinned. “That’s it. American accent, Spanish self.”

“Alright,” he shrugged, closing his eyes. “I can get behind that.”

“Rest up,” Elías told him, sighing as he gently pulled the blanket better around him, touching his forehead again, pursing his lips. He didn’t like this fever. “You honestly need a good night sleep and some  _ Frenadol _ .”

“What’s that?” he asked, opening his greys.

“Muggle remedy. Would really be better than brewing a potion,” Elías replied.

“Right. Muggleborn,” Sirius murmured, looking at him over before stopping on his face. “I… don’t know how to thank you, Elías.”

“Don’t. Not yet,” the Spaniard replied, eyes a bit dark. “Not until we’ve got Pettigrew and he pays for what he’s done and Harry has a safe home to go back to. With his Godfather. And his friends and his Quidditch. Like  _ any thirteen year old _ ought to.”

“I agree,” Sirius said softly, watching Elías before giving out a small smile. “You know… I like you. I wasn’t too sure when you uh, broke my nose and asked me if I like being stupid? But now in retrospect, I think you’re actually fine.”

“ _ Ha _ ,” Elías laughed, shaking his head, unable to believe that Sirius was like  _ this _ . “You’ve a good sense of humor for having spent quite some time in Azkaban.”

“Have you ever heard of humor as a defense mechanism?” Sirius replied and Elías snapped his fingers at him, pointing at Sirius with a laugh. “You know, I think we’re going to get along.”

“You know what? I think so, too,” Elías grinned back at him before flicking some hair out of Sirius’ eyes. “Go to sleep, alright? I’ll bring back food as soon as I can. Focus on keeping yourself warm and getting lots of rest.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “Sleep. I can do that. I think.”

Elías rolled his eyes, standing before pausing, taking a broken pillow and fixing it, then putting it behind Sirius’ head, the man sighing with happiness. He looked so grimy, so thin, so  _ worn _ , yet he was… bright with happiness too. It was so strange, such a big contrast. 

“Thank you,” Sirius coughed lightly. “When will you come back?”

“At night,” he promised. “When it’s safe. Don’t get out of here until you’re recuperated, yeah? At the very least.”

“Sounds good,” he laughed before coughing again. “Ah, shite.”

“Sleep,” Elías gave him one last look before turning to his cat shape again, slinking out of the Shrieking Shack and into the tunnel under the willow, easily now that he was in a much smaller form. 

He couldn’t believe that he finally knew who it was - Peter.  _ Peter fucking Pettigrew _ . The man Remus had spoken so fondly of, the man who had been friends with them for so many years… Gods, Remus was going to be crushed but he had to  _ know _ . Elías had to tell him immediately. Would it be too hard to slip into his bedroom through the window? Maybe he could manage it.

Out of the forest now and into the ground, Elías didn’t really notice just how many Dementors were there until he was almost surrounded, slowing to a stop as one floated closer to him at the front, making that horrid sucking noise they did. Elías let his paws rest on the grass, eyes wide, tail bristling as he looked to the left, to the right, behind him, Dementors surrounding him everywhere. He’d have no time to shift before they were upon him. He didn’t have many options.

So he ran.

Scurrying under the Dementors, Elías hissed at them, using all his strength in his four limbs to get him out of there, feeling the Dementors - and hearing them - follow him easily, begging for scraps, begging to be  _ fed _ . But Elías had too much to live for and too little happiness to give away. He didn’t have any to spare.

The castle wasn’t too far away and he swerved and avoided another Dementor just as he saw the familiar figure of Severus Snape turning the corner, the man pausing as he saw the Dementors, pulling out his wand.

_ Severus! _ Elías thought desperately, rushing full-speed in his direction and before he could really think, he was climbing up his leg and to his face, the potioneer almost falling backwards as Elías clawed at his shoulders for purchase, panting hard, meowing loudly. Severus made a sound of frustration and Elías then realized just how many Dementors were heading their way, shifting so he was over Severus’ shoulders, letting his arms move freely. 

Once both Slytherins had regained their balance, Severus scoffed and pointed his wand at the Dementors, hissing, “ _ Expecto Patronum _ .” And with a powerful pulse of light, they all scrambled, unable to stay. Elías’ eyes widened at the pulse of light, amazed at the strength of the spell. He’d never managed a third stage patronus.

As the Dementors rushed away, Elías relaxed, tail swishing softly -

Only to meow loudly as he was picked up from right under his front legs, Severus holding him up with a look of annoyance, eyes running over his eyes and fur and yeah, there was no doubt that Severus knew perfectly who he was.

“Elías, what on  _ Earth _ are you  _ doing _ ?” he hissed, shaking him and Elías could tell that oh, he was  _ angry _ . “Outside of the castle at three in the morning?! Are you insane?!”

In lieu of an answer, Elías chirped.

“Turn back to human,” Severus ordered, dropping him to the ground but Elías knew he’d get yelled at if he did, so he sat down and groomed his paw fur, watching Severus. “You’re not fooling me. Your eyes are the exact same shade.”

Well, shit.

“Look,” Elías began as he turned back, still dressed in pajamas, hair a bit of a mess. “In my defense, I really needed to clear my head and being a cat -”

Severus slapped him over the head, just like he did with his students and Elías whined, rubbing the sore spot. He frowned at Severus but was surprised at the absolute  _ fury _ he saw.

“Do  _ not _ dare be smart with me,” Severus hissed, gripping Elías’ arm tight. “What would’ve happened had I not been here? Had you been caught by them, hmm? Tell me.”

“I had it-”

“ _ Tell me _ .”

“They would’ve sucked my soul out of my fucking body and maybe the Ministry would’ve finally backed the fuck off, that’s what,” Elías snapped back, pulling on Severus’ wrist, the man quickly letting go of his arm. 

“Elías -”

“I  _ know _ . I fucked up. Whatever,” he hastily looked away, because Severus was right but he didn’t like that the potions master always made him feel like a child being scolded instead of a friend calling out another. It made him feel small, too young. “May I go back to my rooms now,  _ sir _ ?”

Severus made a frustrated noise and Elías finally looked at him, finding the other Slytherin watching Elías with worry. 

“I can handle myself,” Elías told him, crossing his arms.

“Not in cat form,” Severus replied.

“I’m  _ fine  _ -”

“Elías,  _ please _ .”

His voice broke and Elías felt guilt wracking him as Severus’ expression went from angry to pained. Elías had never thought Severus would say his name that way, so… burdened. So worried. So full of meaning that he didn’t understand.

Severus stepped closer and Elías refused to back down, instead watching his black eyes, swallowing hard as Severus’ hand slowly lifted his chin up, that damn fucking  _ touch _ that always sent Elías’ head spinning. Fuck. Severus was too close.

“I didn’t get to apologize,” Severus whispered and Elías almost recoiled at the words, stunned in the spot, as if hit in the stomach by a cannonball. “Elías,  _ please _ , don’t go before I apologize. I can’t… have it happen twice.”

Elías already had emotional turmoil today, and the presence of Dementors had only exacerbated that problem. So when he heard that, when he saw Severus’ sincere eyes, he thought of Sirius, everything that he was risking, everything that he had done tonight - Gods, it was too much.

The Astronomy professor dropped his forehead against Severus’ chest, swallowing as Severus slowly put his arms around Elías - hesitant first, then firm as Elías didn’t protest. The two stayed there for a moment as Elías gathered his own words.

“Then let me hear it,” he croaked, gripping the back of Severus’ tunic, feeling exhaustion deep in his bones.

“I’m sorry,” Severus murmured, making something deep inside Elías just… close at the apology. It was the most sincere one he’d ever heard from him and the fact that he was here now, embracing him, apologizing… it made all the emotional work Elías had put on Severus worth it. “I’m sorry that I pushed you away from potions and discouraged you with my horrid teaching methods. I’m sorry that I kept singling you out and… and  _ bullying _ you. I’m sorry that I keep getting angry and frustrated instead of trying to think before I speak. I’m sorry that - that I never bothered to think about what you were going through before I…” Severus’ voice shook and he cleared his throat. “Before I pushed you away. I’m sorry I’m still pushing you away.”

“Sev -”

“And I’m sorry -” Severus took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for  _ everything _ . I know that I -” another pause. “I know I’m not a good man. I never tried to be. I never fooled myself into thinking I could become one but… when you tell me that… I  _ could _ try, I… I think of her. Not as - not as someone I loved but… my friend, Lily Evans,” his voice broke again but he just embraced Elías tighter. “I think that she would’ve liked you. That she would encourage me. That perhaps she would’ve forgiven me, if only I listened more and talked less.”

Elías hugged him tightly, eyes burning, feeling his chest swell.

“I think she’d already be proud of how far you’ve come,” he told Severus, hearing his breath catch and Elías burrowed his face into Severus’ chest, feeling his heartbeat against his cheek. “I think she'd be as proud as I am, Sev.”

“Just don’t  _ die _ ,” Severus gritted his teeth, pulling back from the hug, trying to compose himself and look annoyed despite the redness in his eyes. “And why didn’t you tell me that you were an animagus?”

“I dunno, never popped up,” Elías shrugged, hands moving up to hold Severus’ face gently, the potions professor freezing as the Spaniard brushed his tears away, standing on his tiptoes to be able to reach. Severus was too tall. “There you go. I know it was a dumb idea to go out but I couldn’t sleep. I won’t go outside anymore on my own,” he meant this promise. “Thank you for saving me,” he added, because it truly was polite and he also meant it.

“You’re welcome,” Severus sighed deeply, looking away, looking uncomfortable. “The cat… as your shape.”

“Yeah, siberian cat,” Elías nodded.

“A forest cat,” Severus looked back at him, pursing his lips. “...it’s quite fitting.”

“Is it?” Elías was able to give a small grin to him. “How so?”

“Big, annoyingly affectionate and with sharp claws,” Severus replied, making Elías laugh quietly. “I knew it was you the moment you threw yourself at my  _ face _ .”

“I was scared!” Elías defended, squawking a bit. “You can’t blame me!”

“I can and I will,” Severus rolled his eyes, starting to walk back towards the main entrance of the castle, Elías deciding to walk beside him - in cat form. Just to annoy him. “You haven’t used this shape since you began working here, as far as I know. Why start now?”

Elías didn’t respond, merely chirping at Severus, strutting next to him. Severus glanced at him, unimpressed but Elías was happy about his apology, about finding Sirius, about finally knowing who the traitor was. He felt relief and exhaustion battle within him and being a cat sometimes made things much simpler.

“Are you just going to be a cat the rest of the way?” Severus asked and Elías jumped to a railing so he could at a higher height - only to topple over and back to the floor. Severus snorted, surprised, picking Elías up around his belly. “You’re  _ the _ clumsiest cat I’ve ever seen.”

Elías bit his hand. Gently. Severus just cocked an eyebrow.

“I’ll bring you to your rooms before you break your head,” he sighed, pulling Elías up to his shoulders, where the Spanish cat settled, purring loudly. “You’re  _ loud _ .”

Elías just purred louder, rubbing his head against Severus’ temple to be more annoying, the other professor sighing audibly in response - then lifting a hand to scritch between his ears, Elías happily letting him, tail curling around Severus’ neck.

“You’re lucky I enjoy felines,” Severus scowled but when Elías opened his eyes, he saw the corners of his mouth almost curling upwards. “...you’re wet.”

Elías licked his temple.

“ _ Elías _ .”

He chirped, seeing the bottom of his tower and jumping out of Severus’ shoulders, stretching a bit. Turning, he sat down for a moment, watching Severus, who frowned down at the Siberian blue-eyed cat.

“I’d rather you were in your human shape.”

Elías meowed at him in return.

“Alright,” Severus sighed, leaning down to pet his little head. “Goodnight. Do  _ not _ go out again like that. I won’t always be there.”

Elías just meowed again before moving to the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, looking over at Severus’ retreating figure, noticing the relief, the tension slipping out of him. He’d been up for hours, pacing the castle. Surely he’d been trying to figure out how to apologize.

And he  _ had _ apologized. Thoroughly. Never in his dreams did Elías think that he would do it. But here he was, climbing his tower, thinking about Severus actually owning up to what he’d done and telling Elías straight up, no beating around the bush. Plus Sirius as well - and telling Remus of his father -

_ So _ much had happened that day. Elías was ready to drop to bed and just fall asleep for the rest of the year. He wanted to tell Remus immediately about Peter but he felt like he didn’t have the energy for it. Perhaps tomorrow… tomorrow he could bring Remus to Camposoto. Sit him down with a warm dinner and some wine to let it sink in. He’d cry - and if he didn’t, Elías would. He had to bring some food to Sirius, some medicine as well - and he also had tea with Narcissa on Sunday. And a dinner to plan for the following week.

Stumbling into his room, Elías really hoped he’d be able to sleep so without changing shape, he climbed atop the couch, onto the knitted blanket folded to the side and curled up, ready for sleep, not needing anything else.


	34. The Betrayer, The Betrayed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning that this chapter gets a lil heavy at the end with self-sabotage and self-hate. Take care of yourselves, guys.
> 
> Also! I have finally finished making the Discord Server so - come here and hop into it, if you want to make some friends and have a good laugh! https://discord.gg/rnhcy6s
> 
> Come yell at me about Remus!

Remus Lupin awoke on Saturday morning with a mild headache and a dream of his childhood still flashing behind his eyelids, sweating in his bed, hair plastered to his face. The sun hit him right over his eyes as he opened them and he gave a groan, hand rising to rub his face. Thinking about his father was bringing up so many old memories - and with Sirius on the loose, now known as innocent, it wasn’t helping Remus much.

He sat up, blankets falling from his body, pooling at his waist. Today he’d have to have a long talk with Elías about his father and very possibly the two of them would have to stay at Hogwarts to talk about it. Remus wasn’t too happy about that, feeling in his bones the need to go back to that blue house in front of the coastline of San Fernando. It wasn’t good to get so attached to somewhere so soon but… it always left him at peace.

He started his day, then - he showered, came back to his rooms to tidy up a bit, looked at his office hours so he wouldn’t miss them and then looked at the clock, seeing that it was still early enough to get breakfast. So Remus walked out of his rooms, said hello to the students that were awake and headed to the Astronomy Tower. He needed to talk to Elías first and tell him to send a letter to his father - accept the invitation for dinner.

Yet when he knocked on the door, nobody answered. Remus, confused, looking at the hour, knocked again. Elías wasn’t a heavy sleeper by any means, he just… liked to laze in bed. So either he’d heard and wasn’t answering or he just wasn’t in his tower.

Already too close to Elías to care, Remus stepped inside, closing the door behind him and blinking at the beautiful snowy-white cat curled on the couch. Remus paused, startled, wondering whose cat was this, still too tired and coffee-less to understand as the cat blinked its eyes open. Blue and wide.

“Er… Elías?” Remus called a bit louder, stepping closer to the bedroom door, knocking there and he jumped as the cat moved in front of him, backing out a bit. “Hey, kitty,” he greeted awkwardly, not knowing how to interact with it. “Have  _ you _ seen Elías?”

The cat sat down, its blue eyes on him and Remus suddenly realized just how utterly  _ stupid _ he’d been, hand slapping over his face, sighing. 

“Alright. Ha ha. Remus didn’t have coffee yet,” he rolled his eyes, moving to sit on the couch, passing by Elías’ cat form before sighing deeply. “Can you turn back human and could we finally go get something to eat?”

Elías climbed up the couch, slipping into Remus’ lap, loafing up and purring, tail swishing and - alright, yes, it  _ was cute _ . Remus hesitated, looking down at him before reaching down to pet his head, eyes growing wide.

“Oh, you’re  _ soft _ ,” he gasped, fingers raking down his fur, surprised. “Wow.  _ Wow _ . I’ve never seen you in your cat form, have you - why don’t you use it more often?”

Elías chirped, purring lowly, making Remus immediately relax. He’d never been one for cats, not the way James and Peter had been. James especially, since he’d had cats forever at home. The Potters had always had two or three around and Remus had  _ never _ gotten along with any of them, probably because of his werewolf condition. Still, Elías… was a very big and very  _ beautiful _ cat. He was  _ gorgeous _ , with those wide blue eyes and the pink nose, long hair…

Knowing that it was Elías and not a real cat, Remus slowly pushed his finger between his leg and Elías’ furry body, slipping into the crease of his paw and pulling his paw out. Elías watched him, saying nothing, ears twitching as Remus looked at his cute little beans, spotted. And, indeed, there was a little freckle on one of the beans on his left paw, where it rested on Elías’ human hand. Remus grinned, feeling like he’d somehow found a secret, squishing the little pink toe beans and then scritching Elías one more time.

“It  _ is _ you,” Remus laughed, feeling the wizard on his lap purr louder. 

Then, before Remus could be ready for it, the cat shifted and Elías turned back into a human, straddling Remus, still wearing his pajamas, hair all over his face and eyes tired and shirt too big for his frame, leaving a single freckled shoulder exposed, where Remus could denote the beginning of a tattoo he hadn’t seen yet.

Merlin, he was stunning.

“Hi,” Elías smiled tiredly, running a hand up his face and pushing his dyed hair away from his bright blue eyes. “So. You don’t usually get along with cats, I take it?”

“Not at all,” Remus confessed, hands moving before he could even ponder on it, gripping Elías’ hips and alright, fuck,  _ bloody hell _ , the pants were thin enough that now he knew Elías wore no underwear. Nothing underneath. Remus was going to  _ die _ on the spot, his mind growing foggy. It was too close to the full moon and he could feel the wolf’s gnashing teeth wanting to throw Elías to the floor right then, right then.

“I am  _ exhausted _ ,” Elías spoke with a groan, leaning back and Remus quickly shifted his hands to Elías’ lower back so the man wouldn’t fall. Remus looked at his throat, the long line of it, stubble all over his jaw and he had such an urge to kiss and bite - “I saw Sirius last night.”

That broke his reverie.

“You did? Why didn’t you -”

“Crookshanks, Hermione’s cat? He came over. Asked me to follow him into the Forbidden Forest,” Elías explained, pursing his lips, moving a bit closer and Remus didn’t stop him from resting his tattooed hands on his chest. “He wanted me to follow and I couldn’t just go and get you, halfway through Hogwarts.”

“Right,” Remus sighed. “How - how did it go?”

“Sirius is sick,” Elías told him and Remus felt his stomach swoop with worry. “A bad cough, he’s got a bad cold, I’m pretty sure. In any case, I’m going to San Fernando and bringing muggle remedies, since asking for magical ones would require talking to Pomfrey.”

“Sounds good to me,” Remus said quietly, watching Elías’ face as the Slytherin bit his lower lip, looking like he was hesitating. Remus already knew what was about to happen.

“Remus -”

“You know, don’t you?” he asked, heart in his throat, Elías nodding slowly. Remus sucked in a sharp breath, closing his eyes, trying to gather himself. He felt Elías’ fingers gently touching his jaw and he let himself sink into the embrace of his warm hands, leaning into them, seeking comfort. “Just say it,” he whispered, choked. “Rip it off, like a band aid.”

“Remus, I don’t think it’s a wise idea,” Elías said gently and when Remus opened his eyes, he found the concerned blue stare of his friend. “I think - we should go get that medicine. Get some coffee. Sit on the beach and really talk about that.”

“And also my dad,” he added, laughing incredulously. “Oh, today’s not going to be good for me, is it?”

Elías gave him a sad smile, “No. I’m afraid not.”

“Well, at least I’ve only got office hours in the late morning,” he sighed deeply. “Shite. Is - is the traitor someone I knew?”

“Yeah,” Elías murmured. “But I won’t say more until we’re in a safe, far away enviroment. I don’t want anyone to walk in and just - find you in such a delicate situation.”

Remus felt warmth and gratefulness swell in him and he leaned over to kiss Elías’ forehead, unable to stop himself. He was already addicted to this affection that Elías showed so easily and he couldn’t help but use it when they both needed it. Even if Elías was slowly starting to steer more towards Severus and not Remus.

“Thank you,” he told Elías, genuine. “I - let’s go get you some coffee and find some medicine.”

“I’ll shower back at San Fernando,” Elías nodded, slipping out of his lap and Remus felt way too cold for March as he did, seeing him enter the bedroom. 

It almost felt domestic, the way his thighs and chest burned with the last traces of Elías’ touch. They’d go through Floo to San Fernando, get some medicine, stop by for some coffee, some breakfast, and talk about very serious things that would surely break Remus into pieces. Yet Elías would be there to pick them up, gently putting them back together, help Remus back on his feet enough to help Sirius and get the true culprit of the Potter betrayal. Remus was tired of being someone who needed help, someone whom Elías had to care for and listen to at the beach. But at the same time, he’d missed the intimacy of the sand between his toes and Elías’ shiny eyes on his as he said every single thing in his mind. 

He wasn’t just addicted to Elías’ affection, he was addicted to the intimacy.

Remus sighed again, running a hand through his blond hair, trying to push away all of those intrusive thoughts about Elías, about what could be if only he let go of everything and became a selfish, selfish wolf. Elías didn’t deserve that - and Severus didn’t deserve Elías at all, either, but Remus could see the two becoming close. Becoming more than close. 

Not a few nights ago, Elías had even confessed that he felt like Severus was attractive and Remus had laughed it off, trying not to feel the hurt that took over his chest. Because he was pretty sure that Severus was also interested in Elías - whether it would be a selfless type of interest, only time would tell. He could only hope that Severus was as reasonable as Remus.

“Alright! I’ve got my clothes, let’s go!” Elías told him, folded clothes under his arm, grinning. “It’s probably going to be  _ so _ hot. So leave the sweater off, yeah?”

“Oh no,” Remus groaned, dreading it already. “But it’s  _ nine _ in the morning, Elías, how hot could it be?”

“Very. Come on,” he laughed and Remus complied, pulling his sweater off his body and rolling up his sleeves, heading to the chimney right after Elías left through it. With a handful of floo powder, he intoned, “ _ El Rompido! _ ” and threw the dust to the ashes, swallowed by magical harmless flames and appearing in the now familiar living room.

It was hot.

Remus breathed in, groaning as he felt it sink into his lungs, immediately making him start to sweat. He looked around, hearing the shower starting and with a sigh, he went to grab a glass of cold water. As he drank, already dreading having to go outside, he looked over  _ El Rompido _ , feeling now familiar with the place.

The kitchen was wide open, with the island in the middle, but the most interesting part was probably the wall leading to the back garden, which was from floor to ceiling just… glass. It had curtains to close off the sun and for privacy but it was designed so it could be opened up and Remus guessed that this house was mostly designed to fully enjoy summers. He wondered what this summer would look like, for himself and for Elías and -

And well, for Sirius as well.

Remus pondered over a lot of things while Elías showered and, by the time the Spaniard came back, Remus was a bit more discombobulated than he’d thought he’d be. And it definitely didn’t help that when he looked up, almost half of Elías’ flower-patterned button up was fucking  _ open _ . Hair wet, collarbones showing, jeans tight and that welcoming smile on his face. Remus was ten years too old for him to want to push Elías into the couch and just have his way with him. Too old, too jaded, too  _ not _ what Elías deserved.

“Let’s go?” Remus asked instead and Elías nodded, picking up the keys of his bike and Remus followed, trying not to stare at the back of his jeans.

The ride to town was pretty nice - wind in their hair, sun shining down, people crowded already at the beach. Remus could see San Fernando now in daylight and it was a blinding, bustling Saturday morning, music playing from every corner. The white buildings only brightened the streets and Remus could smell the frying of churros and fish already as Elías parked by a small marketplace, the man smiling brightly, sunglasses over his eyes.

“So! I’m gathering some ingredients to make the ultimate get-well soup my ma has passed down to me,” Elías began to explain, Remus following after him. There were so many  _ people _ , it was so loud, Remus looked everywhere and found laughter and yelling and more music, always the guitars. “Do you want anything? We could eat dinner here tonight and then directly go to see Sirius at the Shrieking Shack!”

“I think that’d be a good idea!” Remus called back and he fretted a bit at the thought of getting lost, wishing he knew the town better -

“Hey.”

Remus looked up from his feet at Elías, the man close, his hand reaching for Remus’. The two of them had sweaty hands but Remus found himself not minding, entwining their fingers, the heat soaking into him not as something uncomfortable but as something he kept trying desperately to control whenever Elías smiled at him, all quiet and private and intimate. Remus wanted to lean in and kiss him in the middle of the marketplace, damn the consequences, damn everything else.

But he held back, squeezing Elías’ hand instead and the grin that the Slytherin returned made his heart leap.

It didn’t matter what happened, who was behind the betrayal or what his father would say to him once the two finally met face to face after almost twelve years of disconnection - if he had Elías by his side, he felt like he could face anything.

They ended up getting vegetables of all sorts within a basket, as well as an  _ entire chicken _ . Just - a dead chicken, feathers not even off. Remus blinked at it as Elías dropped it in the wicker basket he’d taken from  _ El Rompido _ and he held onto it as the designed mule today. They finished in the market, found a pharmacy and also passed by a store to grab some thick blankets and a proper coat for Sirius. Elías didn’t even think about the expense or the amount of effort he was putting into it all but Remus was in awe, watching him putter about the town, saying hi to different store owners and musicians on the street.

It felt like something private of Elías, like Remus was privy to a life nobody else had seen - the muggle, carefree, happy life that Elías had outside of Hogwarts. Outside of being a muggleborn, a Slytherin, a Seer.

Remus and Elías then paused in front of a coffee shop that spilled onto the streets, Elías pulling him into it, the sound of a football match loud and a group of men gathered by the bar screaming at the TV. Remus grinned a bit, realizing that muggle or wizard, apparently losing their minds over sports was just human.

“You want just some plain coffee?” Elías asked Remus and the wizard nodded, looking at the owner - a brown woman with wild, dark curls and a bright white smile, speaking to Elías in loud Spanish, even slapping his arm with familiarity. But honestly, everyone in this town treated Elías this way and Remus was starting to think that these people were just this friendly.

“Alright, I ordered,” Elías nudged him, grinning. “Wanna sit down in the sun or inside?”

“Honestly, inside,” Remus begged, the fan providing some freshness.

Elías laughed, nodding, picking a metal table and putting their groceries aside, which he’d cheekily hit before with a freezing spell so they wouldn’t be ruined by the heat. Remus sighed deeply, leaning back on his chair and pulling rhythmically on his shirt to get rid of the heat gathered in his body.

“Oh, I hate this,” he groaned. 

“This is  _ nothing _ ,” Elías laughed, handing him his sunglasses, which Remus took with relief, helping his British eyes be shielded for a bit. “You’re a bit red around your cheeks, you burned?”

“I hope not, the kids would have a field day,” Remus mumbled, touching his cheeks. “No, it’s just the heat.”

“I ordered something to eat and iced coffee, don’t worry,” Elías hummed, sighing happily, leaning back on his chair, the crystal hanging from his neck dipping between his collarbones and Remus tried not to think about the hair that curled there, masculine and - 

“So after this, we head to the beach and you’ll finally tell me who’s behind all of this?” Remus spoke up instead, watching Elías nod. “I… is it going to hurt?”

“Yes,” Elías said softly. “I’m sorry, Remus.”

He looked genuinely pained, eyes moving from his lap to Remus’ greens and Merlin, they were so blue. It made Remus sigh.

“I guess I will know soon so… let’s just enjoy breakfast, I guess,” Remus stayed still as the woman from earlier walked over, leaving their iced coffee on the table and a bunch of thick churros with a little bowl filled with sugar, making Remus sit up a bit straight.

“ _ Gracias _ ,” Elías smiled at the woman, grabbing his coffee and drinking half of it in one go, groaning. “Gods. I’m too tired for Sirius’ shit. I don’t have enough coffee.”

Remus looked at him with a little grin, laughing, “Oh, trust me. If this all goes well, you’ll be saying that more often than you think.”

“I can tell,” Elías laughed, reaching for a churro and dipping it into the sugar, biting with a hum into it. “This place makes the best porras in town.”

“I thought these were churros?” Remus frowned, picking one up. Greasy and warm and smelling heavenly. He dipped it into sugar as well, just like Elías had, and brought it to his mouth, eyes widening as he chewed.

“I know, right?” Elías smirked, leaning back, unfairly attractive. “Porras are thicker. Churros are these thin, ribbonned shaped, like - like drops? Teardrop shaped? Porras are just thick and straight.”

“Ah, I see,” Remus replied. “They’re - they’re  _ delicious _ , I’ll be honest.”

“Anything fried and greasy is good for the soul,” Elías stated, laughing.

“Who said that?” Remus teased.

“My pa. Mostly when my ma catches him experimenting in the kitchen,” Elías snickered.

Remus let out a laugh, about to tell him that maybe she was doing it for his health when someone called Elías’ name and the two men turned to a  _ gorgeous _ blond girl who had paused by their table eyes wide. Remus froze, not really knowing who this was or what she had to do with Elías but the Slytherin let out a happy noise and stood, hugging her tightly to him, her tanned arms quickly moving around his waist, face against his neck, speaking in rapid-fire Spanish.

Remus didn’t often feel jealous, it wasn’t in his nature. But such was life, when he felt it, it was because this beautiful, young girl was kissing Elías’ cheek repeatedly, holding his head in, the man laughing loudly as he held her waist with familiarity. Who was this? Why did she act like Elías did with Remus, so intimate? An old friend?

“Blanca -  _ Blanca _ , let me introduce you to Remus, he’s a colleague of mine,” Elías blessedly spoke in English and Remus smiled politely, standing to shake her hand but the girl pulled him in for two kisses on the cheek, making him flush. Right, they’re Spanish. “Remus, this is my little cousin Blanca!”

Oh, Remus was an old, jealous  _ fool _ and the full moon was fucking with him.

“Hi,” he smiled, embarrassed. “Nice to meet you.”

“So nice to finally meet you, oh my God!” she replied, Spanish accent thick, tattoos and piercings and blue eyes - yeah, Remus was an absolute  _ idiot _ . “Everyone’s been talking about you!”

“Blan _ -caaaaa _ ,” Elías groaned, dropping on his seat and Blanca quickly grabbed a chair from another table, taking a porra without care, leaning into Elías’ space. “Seriously? What are you even doing here, aren’t you supposed to be training in Mallorca?”

“I finished early,” she spoke with a hand over her mouth to hide her chewing and Remus got to finally see Elías interact with someone from his family fully. It felt like something fascinating to him. “I’m officially a tattoo artist!”

“Oh, no way!” Elías laughed, throwing an arm over her, hugging her tightly. “Does this mean your dearest cousin gets to have you tattoo him now?”

“Yes! I can finally do you!” Blanca laughed and Remus noticed a piercing on her tongue. Elías wasn’t the only outlandish in fashion in his family, it seemed. “Whenever do you want it?”

“Fuck, like - can it be tomorrow night?” Elías asked and Remus choked on his coffee, making Elías frown at him. “Don’t judge me, it’s been  _ months _ since I got a tattoo.”

“So you’d just get one  _ tomorrow? _ ” Remus shook his head, smiling incredulously. “Do you even know what you want to get?”

“Yeah, I’ve got lots of ideas,” Elías retorted and Remus picked up his wrist, lifting it to look around his right arm. “ _ And space too _ ,” Elías stuck his tongue out at Remus.

“What will you do when you run out of space, then?” Remus chuckled.

“Get a piercing, of course,” Blanca spoke, finishing Elías’ coffee, the Slytherin cussing her out in Spanish but Blanca just laughed and stood. “Juan is here, by the way? He’ll be staying all of March so if you wanna say hi, he’s with mamún.”

“Gotcha,” Elías smiled at her, quickly reaching for her hand and squeezing her fingers affectionately. “Hey. I knew you could do it. I believed in you.”

“You were the  _ only one _ who believed in me,” she snorted before kissing his cheek again.

“With good reason,” Elías laughed, kissing her hand before he had a lapful of Blanca, hugging his little cousin tight, looking so happy that Remus had to hide a smile against his coffee cup. “Take care of yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow and maybe Juan could come? We’ll go to the bar, have some fun.”

“Don’t you have class in the morning?” she laughed as she pulled away.

“He does,” Remus pointed out and Blanca laughed harder as Elías waved it off.

“I’d have to go hungover to class one day or another.”

“ _ Elías _ ,” Remus scolded.

“It’s nice to meet you, Remus,” Blanca told him as she walked backwards to the front of the coffee shop and Remus gave her a small smile.

“Likewise.”

“Bye! ¡ _ Nos vemos mañana, Elías! _ ”

“ _ ¡Hasta mañana! _ ” Elías bid and Remus glanced at Blanca as she left.

“What did she mean by  _ no one believed in me _ ?” he asked curiously, more or less knowing what Elías was about to tell him. 

“Well, she never was good at school?” Elías told him, frowning before letting out a sigh. “Blanca, Juan and Luis… they’re all kids of Luis Sr. He’s… a good man, you know, he’s  _ good _ , just uh, not a great father,” he winced. “So when Chiqui and Luis got a divorce, the kids dispersed a lot. Luis was exemplary until lately, when he got arrested last summer. And Juan wants to move with my aunt Carmen to live in Brussels? Without a plan? And -” he paused, taking a porra and biting into it, leaning back on his chair. “Blanca was just bad at school. She was very much sick of her mother, her father and her father’s new girlfriend. So… she went a bit off the deep end? And everyone wanted to just call her a problem child and be done with it.”

So this was going exactly as he’d expected it, “Not you, though,” Remus lifted his eyebrows.

“Not me,” Elías agreed, nodding. “I sat down with her after a family dinner. We were all on like, this huge barbeque that my pa had set up and everyone was drinking and laughing and Blanca was outside and she looked like she was ready to cry? So I sat down with her and she told me everything that she felt. She only needed someone to hear her, to tell her that what she felt was valid and understandable and anyone in her position could be found having trouble with school. I sure did. She felt so much better after that and instead of trying to push through college, we looked up things that she could train for. And she loved my tattoos, so she started looking for schools for tattoos and stuff. I dunno, like - she just needed someone to sit down. Listen. Help her.”

“So that’s why you were so sure that Theodore just needed someone to talk to,” Remus whispered to him, nodding. “You’ve got experience with children already.”

“Well, no?” Elías frowned. “I’ve got experience with  _ teenagers _ . Kids aren’t as easy as teenagers, at least to me? Because teens just wanna be heard. Like - they just  _ want you _ to listen to them rant about their obsession and pretty soon, if you actually hear them out? They’ll just tell you what’s wrong. You need to reward them for the things they did well because most of them live in constant fear of fucking up  _ bad _ .”

“Yes, I - I know that part,” Remus murmured, watching Elías with different eyes. He’d never really pondered what would mean for someone to grow up in such a big family but it made sense now, how Elías connected with the students at Hogwarts. How the Slytherins had publicly apologized to the Gryffindor Quidditch team  _ and _ the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team without flinching too much. 

Elías pushed for communication a lot and he obviously felt like it was the most important thing of all. He’d confessed his feelings for Remus when it’d come down to it, instead of hiding - like Remus was. Maybe he should tell -

“So. Let’s go back?” Elías leaned in, giving him a smile. “I’ll start on the soup and we can… talk and all.”

“Alright,” Remus nodded, grabbing the last porra before taking the basket, smiling at Elías as the Spaniard laughed.

For all the heat, the bustling town, the loud noises and the constant music… this place truly brought out something  _ happy _ within Remus. Drab England felt like a stick in the mud compared to the people in this town, Elías a beacon guiding him through it. He knew that he - wizard, old, shy and quiet - didn’t belong somewhere like this but he couldn’t help but enjoy it, climbing into the back of Elías’ bike, one arm around his thin waist.

Finally back in  _ El Rompido _ , Elías began to putter about in the kitchen, turning on the ceiling fan and Remus gave a groan of relief, dropping on the stool, accepting a tall glass of clear, cool water that Elías presented him with before he took a deep pot and began to cut the vegetables.

“Will you tell me now?” Remus asked of him, quietly, looking at Elías as the man pursed his lips and nodded slowly, Remus’ heartbeat picking up hard. He could hear it in his ears, his own blood pumping and the thought of having the answer to such an old wound made his hands shake. “Elías,” Remus begged, making the Spaniard pause his knife. “Elías,  _ who did it _ ?”

“Scabbers, the Weasley’s rat,” Elías said quietly, looking up at Remus, who felt so confused until Elías continued. “The rat has a missing finger.”

* * *

Remus was a  _ mess _ .

By the time they came back to Hogwarts, soup in a magically bigger thermos and medicine tucked into a plastic back, he was more angry than sad and it showed. Elías said nothing, feeling like he had no place to poke and prod at this. Remus was  _ rightfully _ angry. Of course he was allowed to be angry. Pettigrew had betrayed them all, had sold Lily and James  _ and _ also ruined Sirius’ entire life. And Remus’ and Harry’s and uncountable others.

_ We knew there was a mole _ , Remus had told him once.  _ Fabian and Gideon knew who it was but they were killed in action before they could tell. _

Elías watched Remus silently stand in the middle of his class, having successfully avoided enough students on their way here. He said nothing, again, watching the shaking of Remus’ hands slow to a stop. And he stood there, in the middle of his Hogwarts class, somewhere he had probably shared with Peter before, had laughed with him in it. 

Abruptly, Elías saw from the door of the Defense classroom the way Remus just - relaxed. His shoulders fell, his back arched a bit and his head fell back, watching the ceiling, a blank look in his eyes.

“Remus -” Elías began but then the storm began.

Remus Lupin grabbed a piece of equipment from his own desk and threw it to the wall, startling Elías, jumping back as he screamed in frustration. Elías held onto his wand, casting a muting spell before anyone could hear him and he stood back for his own safety as Remus tore and clawed at everything in his sight and Elías didn’t know if it was the full moon or just… years’ worth of frustration and heartbreak and mourning in his heart.

He saw blood, though, as the blackboard fell down and immediately, Elías stepped closer, grasping Remus’ wrists, the man turning around with a low growl. 

“Remus,” Elías called softly, looking into his golden eyes, more animal than human but uncaring of his sharpened teeth or the ugly twist of his hurt expression. His hand had a cut in it and it’d been bleeding but because of the proximity to the moon, it was already closing. They looked more like claws. “Remus, it’s okay,” he tried, hands not gripping him tightly but attempting to at least stop them from breaking anything else that Remus would regret.

“ _ I’m going to kill him _ ,” he growled lowly, voice much raspier than the usual and this was the first time that Elías had ever seen him so out of control, eyes wide as Remus’ eyes shone with frustration and anger. “ _ I’m going to rip him apart  _ -”

“Remus, I get it, I know, I  _ know _ ,” he moved closer, slowly pushing, pinning Remus to the wall as gently as possible and pressing his hands to the sides of his face to ground him to reality, to something else than the full moon that would come tomorrow. “But this isn’t what you want. You want justice, you want him to pay for what he’s done.”

“ _ I’ll tear him into shreds! _ ” he snarled and Elías pulled him into a hug, making the werewolf freeze, claws lifted at Elías’ sides.

“No, you won’t,” Elías whispered to him, gently cupping the back of his head with one hand, the other against the small of Remus’ back, standing on his tiptoes to embrace him tight enough. “No, you won’t, because you’re Remus Lupin. You’re just sad, and scared, and hurt. And that’s okay, Remus. That’s  _ okay _ .”

Remus stayed frozen for that moment and time stood still, the two professors hearing the quiet laughter of kids outside, of life still going but the two of them… they held it all back. Just for a moment. Just for a second. Just until Remus began to cry.

And cry he did.

It was a hysterical type of sobbing, a sound that broke Elías’ heart over and over again as Remus’ legs failed and the two slid down the wall, to the cold floor. Elías held him tight, afraid that if he didn’t, he’d fall apart and Remus just -  _ broke _ .

He threw his hands at his face, covering it as tears dripped to Elías’ lap, the Spaniard trying desperately to be comforting but realizing soon enough that Remus was just finally letting it out. Elías kissed the top of his head, fingers tight on Remus’ back, nearly crying himself as he kept hearing Remus ask  _ why _ to the air.

Because  _ why _ would any of this happen?  _ Why _ did innocent people - entire  _ families  _ \- have to die needlessly in a war about  _ muggleborns _ and whether they deserved their magic or not? The Potters had been friends, parents, a son and daughter. They’d been a brother and a sister. Sirius had left his entire family behind for them, done his best for them. And Remus had been pulled out of a lonely, quiet existence. Elías held in his own crying, thinking of that gentle scene with a pregnant Lily throwing a pillow at Sirius and Peter while James cooked.

Remus cried - long and loud and uninterrupted, so hard that Elías was scared that he’d maybe faint but… it also seemed like that was what Remus needed. The anger, the sadness, everything he’d kept inside. For his friends and his family. His parents. His situation. Elías could only pull his head to his chest, hold him through it, let him know that Elías was there and would be for as long as was needed.

In the end, when Remus began to calm down, Elías let go of that strong hold, reaching into his pocket to pull out a tissue for Remus. The Gryffindor sobbed quietly and reached for it, trying to clean up his face shakily, eyes opening - and they were green. Elías gently pet his hair, Remus exhaustedly leaning against his chest. This poor man had a lifetime of burdens to carry on his shoulders and yet the world wasn’t through with him yet. It was unfair.

“How do you feel?” Elías asked him, his fingers reaching out to brush Remus’ hair away from his eyes, seeing him look away. “Remus, hey, it’s -”

Remus stood, walking to his desk, leaning heavily against it with both hands holding onto the sides, giving his back to Elías. The Spaniard sat on the floor for a moment, watching him breathe in and breathe out slowly. Then, quietly, Elías stood behind Remus, worriedly reaching out for his shoulder -

“ _ Don’t touch me _ ,” Remus rasped, shifting away and Elías pulled his hand back, a stab of pain hitting him between his lungs. No, but it was fair - if Remus didn’t want him to touch him, it was fair but - only if it was for the right reasons -

“Do you want me to leave?” Elías asked, throat closing up as he stood there, behind Remus, hoping he’d open up, hoping he’d let Elías in. Elías was  _ so tired _ of hitting walls with people. He was so tired of having to dismount them brick by brick. “I can if you want me to. I will. But you’ve to  _ want _ it, Remus. Not think that I should.”

“You  _ saw  _ it. You saw me. I’m giving you an out, how could you -” Remus sucked in a sharp breath, one hand moving to grip his own hair tightly. “How could you  _ want to stay _ ?!”

“Remus!” Elías called, horrified, eyes wide. “Remus, if you mean to tell me that I should want to run because you got  _ angry _ and a bit  _ wolfish _ then newsflash, asshole! I knew you were a werewolf the entire time! I didn’t expect it to be pretty!”

“I shouldn’t have let myself -”

“No!” Elías replied, moving before he could think too deeply about it and wrapping his arms around Remus tight, pressing his own front against the line of Remus’ back, face between his shoulderblades, Remus tensing. “You  _ idiot _ . You’re so smart yet so  _ stupid _ . I don’t care about the fangs, the claws, the eyes, the anger or the sadness. You just found out something horrific, Remus, I expected nothing less! And even if I didn’t expect it or wasn’t ready - well, who cares?! This is  _ you _ ! I don’t care about your lycanthropy! Fuck, Remus, I really, really,  _ really _ do not fucking care!”

“Well, you should!” Remus turned around, gripping Elías’ shoulders, shaking them hard enough to make Elías a bit dizzy. “What the  _ fuck _ is wrong with you?!” Remus asked, eyes red and face blotchy from crying. “Can’t you see?! Haven’t you already learned that everything I  _ touch _ just fucking  _ dies _ ?!”

Elías felt his heart stop at the words, eyes wide, eyes on Remus’.

“Can’t you see that every time I think things could go right, someone just  _ does this _ ?! And it’s my fault, it has to be  _ me _ , I’m the problem! I’m the one to blame because I was never supposed to be  _ happy _ in the first place!”

“Remus,  _ Christ _ , what -”

“I’m not supposed to be happy,” Remus told him, face twisted with pain and Elías shook his head, wanting to make him just  _ see _ that this was a mistake. “I was never supposed to have friends, family, this curse -”

Elías’ hand shot out, gripping the front of his shirt, tired of hearing him like this. “ _ No _ ,” Elías told him firmly, conviction in his voice. “For fuck’s sake, Remus,  _ stop it _ ,” Elías hissed, stepping forward until Remus’ back hit his desk, Elías between his legs, chest to chest. “Can’t you fucking  _ see _ what this is doing to you? This isn’t about Peter, this isn’t about Sirius or your father or  _ anyone _ . This is something that you’ve instilled in yourself for so  _ fucking _ long and I’m here to fucking  _ break it _ ,” he snarled at the man, Remus’ wide green eyes watching Elías’ blues. “You’re not a burden to society, you’re not a danger to society, you’re a fucking  _ man _ who’s had shitty fucking things happen to him since he was a kid but you know what we say to that shit?  _ Tough luck _ , you try  _ again _ , you stand up and you keep going!” 

“I  _ am _ a danger -”

“No, you’re fucking not! You can’t even manage to hurt me when you’re trashing the whole fucking classroom!” Elías snapped at him, Remus breathing hard. “There’s nothing we can do about the systematic oppression of werewolves but there  _ is _ something you can do about the way you see yourself and people like you! I am not going to fucking apologize for trying my best to help you, to stay with you, because I  _ want _ to!”

“You can’t!” Remus replied, voice weak, breaking in the middle, his hands gripping the end of Elías’ shirt. “Elías, I don’t want to hurt you -”

“You will hurt me, Remus!” Elías told him, making Remus’ eyes widen. “You will, emotionally and maybe physically! On accident, but you will! The same way that I will to you! Because that’s the way the world fucking works - you meet people and you love them and you hurt them and you make up and grow from it! That’s how it is!”

“You can’t  _ possibly _ want to keep being with me -” Remus choked.

“Yes, I can! I do!” Elías told him, taking a hold of Remus’ waist tightly. “Remus, I’m not leaving! If you don’t want me to, then I am  _ never _ going to leave! And I will  _ never _ let you go!”

And before he could continue, Remus’ hands cupped his face and he pulled him in for a kiss.

Elías’ eyes stayed open, gasping into Remus’ mouth, feeling his entire body  _ burn _ as the werewolf kissed him. He could scarcely believe it but pretty soon he was closing his eyes, leaning into the kiss, whining quietly and melting against Remus’ front. Mouth pliant, tongue loose, Elías felt Remus’ burning lips upon his, moving, sliding wetly and Elías wanted to  _ cry _ , kissing back the best he could in these circumstances, trying to pull Remus closer -

The door of the classroom opened and Remus wrenched himself away from Elías, the Astronomy professor stumbling back, looking over to find Harry staring, watching, catching them both and the disaster that was the Defense classroom.

“Harry -” he rasped.

“S-sorry,” the kid stuttered, quickly backing out, closing the door and Elías felt like he’d done something deeply wrong, his hand moving to his own face as he turned around and saw the guilt in Remus’ eyes.

“R-Remus…” he began, trying to vocalize, trying to already fix things that he could see crumbling down, not even by his own hand. “I -”

“I’m sorry, Elías,” Remus whispered, watching his own hands. “Don’t… know what came over me. I - keep doing this to you, giving you mixed signals but I think I’m just lonely.”

Oh. Oh, that  _ hurt _ . That hurt like nothing else ever had, Elías’ eyes burning hot as he tried not to burst into tears in the middle of the classroom, in front of Remus, who was still hurting, still vulnerable - Gods, Elías had kissed him  _ back _ . He hadn’t even thought that maybe Remus was using him to feel something, he’d just taken and taken and  _ taken  _ -

“I have to go,” Elías wheezed, hands shaking, starting to move to the door.

“Wait,  _ wait _ , Elías, I’m  _ sorry  _ -”

“I’ve to go,” Elías whispered, clumsily opening the door, passing by Harry the fastest he could and rushing towards the nearest staircase that could lead him to the Astronomy Tower.

Stupid fucking crush. Stupid fucking heart. Stupid fucking  _ Pettigrew _ . Damn him and damn every single person that led to all of this unfolding. Elías could’ve been happy, not knowing the taste of Remus’ lips, the way he held onto his face as they kissed. But now he knew and now he’d never get it out of his head, never be able to move past that. His first real, mutual, consensual kiss and to Remus it’d been a  _ way to cope _ .

Part of him was angry,  _ furious _ that Remus would ever dare to kiss him for anything other than true, romantic intent. He felt so frustrated that this kept happening and he wondered if it was because Elías was similar to Sirius or just because Remus was -

Fuck,  _ fuck _ . He was lonely, that was all. Elías was a willing body and he was there and Remus was desperate enough to kiss him to feel some semblance of warmth and that hurt  _ so much _ . He felt like he was unable to breathe, walking past Filch on his way to the tower before finally reaching the stairs, climbing two by two, bursting into his room, ready to stay the rest of Saturday within until he had to patrol with Severus tonight.

He hated this. He hated his heart, his foolish, naive heart and the way it bled all over his bedsheets because he’d left Remus alone in that classroom to pick up the pieces, instead of stopping the kiss, staying with him, calming him down. He wanted to keep away from Remus yet he wanted to go back as well, tell him that it was alright, that Elías understood. 

Elías had been used by so many people now - as a punching bag, as a shoulder to cry on, as a fuckhole and as a scapegoat. He was used to being the bad guy, being hated, spit on and stepped on. He shouldn’t feel this bad. Being used again shouldn’t feel this bad.

And  _ yet  _ -

Fuck it, fuck him, fuck his  _ heart _ . Fuck the moment he’d let himself think that someone like Remus would willingly think about kissing him. Fuck it all. Elías felt tears leak into his pillow and he quickly shaped himself into a cat, not wanting to cry, curling up under the protection of his sheets, wishing that his father was here. Or his mother. They’d know what to say, what to do. They’d reassure him that it wasn’t his fault.

_ You’ve always had a delicate heart, love _ , his mother would tell him.  _ And you don’t like to put walls around it, even though you should _ .

Elías never liked walls, never liked how they obstructed his view of the world. He didn’t want to hide from love, didn’t want to hide from everyone just because he’d been hurt before. It wasn’t the way he wanted to live. He hadn’t done it when he’d been assaulted and he wouldn’t do it after… after a kiss. 

That kiss, that  _ kiss  _ -

Elías let out a miserable meow and he was glad that he wasn’t able to cry at all, because otherwise he very probably would’ve poured his little heart out over the course of the afternoon.


	35. Slytherins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Couple of things.
> 
> Thanks to the people who joined the Discord Server so far, it's a joy to talk to you!! And thank the rest of you for reading and commenting and letting me know how much you like this story, it means a lot to me! Please, if you want, do come join us on the server, I don't think I've ever seen anything so unhinged!! https://discord.gg/9A4mMbd
> 
> Also, Twigger Warnings:  
> \- ED mention
> 
> Lastly, if you're interested, the songs played will be listed below!

“You liar!”

Theodore groaned as a pillow connected with his face, bringing his knees up before Pansy could think of throwing anything else at him. From the other couch, Vince and Draco laughed and Theodore cracked an eye open, way too comfortable as he laid on the couch to really care about moving. But Pansy was rushing to him, her face tight with anger and he honestly hoped that this wouldn’t be a blowout. He had enough with not going to Hogsmeade today.

“When did I lie?” he asked, hand raising to try and grab Pansy’s hand but she slapped it away, dropping right down on Theo’s stomach, sitting there primly, making Theodore groan loudly and Draco laugh harder.

“You promised you’d go today to Dervish and Banges to repair my autocorrecting quill but I didn’t know you’d start Detention with Professor Fernández  _ now _ !”

“Sorry,” he grunted, his arm moving around her waist as he sat up, giving her an apologetic smile. “To be honest, we got off lucky, last week.”

“Yeah,” Vince sighed deeply. “Father was  _ furious _ . If Fernández hadn’t told us to go clean up his classroom -”

“He did it on purpose,” Greg spoke, wincing. “...though he  _ did _ scold us hard.”

“It kind of hurt more than the Hogsmeade ban,” Theodore mumbled and Blaise spoke up from his seat finally, looking up from his latest book.

“Maybe that ought to teach the four of you not to pull of any other stupid prank, hmm?” his eyebrows raised, making Draco roll his eyes, leaning into Blaise harder. “I  _ mean _ it. Dumbledore’s with the Gryffindors. He wouldn’t hesitate to throw us under the bus - and you all managed to get Theo’s father  _ here _ .”

“I’m still sorry about that,” Vince told Theo, who just shrugged.

“It’s alright, mate,” he assured, thinking of Fernández’s hand over his shoulder, the way his father and the professor had held stares. He wondered what the Astronomy Professor thought of him now. He must’ve known, the way he’d looked at Theo. “I think Professor Fernández knows.”

“Knows what?” Pansy asked, her hand burrowing into Theo’s hair, making him relax.

“‘Bout my father,” he sighed. 

“I think so, too,” Draco leaned in, frowning. “Mother invited him for tea tomorrow. It’s a shame we won’t be there.”

“He accepted?” Greg’s eyes widened. “But he’s a mudblood!”

“Don’t say that,” Theodore said quietly, making everyone turn to him, his stomach churning. “Please.”

“Why?” Greg frowned.

Theodore shrugged, face buried on Pansy’s shoulder, feeling like he was about to get into trouble for that but… to be honest? The word had started to bother him  _ so _ much, even since that day where Professor Fernández cut open his hand to show him his… his red blood without mud in it. It’d begun to bother him, too, whenever they’d purposefully disrupt Lupin’s classes because Lupin was one of professor Fernández’s friends and…

“Theo, you wanna talk about that?” Blaise asked calmly and Theodore sighed, wincing, turning to his friend.

“I… just don’t feel comfortable with the word,” he tried.

“Why not?” Blaise cocked an eyebrow.

“Does it matter?” Theodore looked away, Pansy still petting his hair. “It’s fucking stupid, that’s what. Muggleborns don’t have  _ mud _ in their veins. It’s a lie.”

“How are you so sure?” Draco asked, laughing. “I bet if you punched Granger, she’d throw up dirt all over the -”

“Shut up,” Theodore snapped, turning to glare at Draco, making everyone freeze. “If you punched Granger, I’d punch you right back. You don’t punch girls, no matter their blood. You want to get in trouble again? I took one for you, Draco!”

“What’s going on with you?” Vince frowned as Blaise put away his book, narrowing his eyes at Theo. “You’ve been so weird these months.”

“Well, my father killed my mom, Vince, I don’t know if you missed that,” Theodore choked, making Vince look away and Draco flinch. “I… I’m not so sure I believe that muggles are stupid, either. Because it seems to me like  _ wizards _ are the stupidest!”

“Theo!” Blaise hissed, standing to press his hand against Theodore’s mouth, looking around. Luckily, today the Common Room was deserted and Pansy stood to double check, just in case. “Are you  _ stupid _ ?!” he snapped. “Don’t say things like that!”

“It’s true, though!” Theodore replied, swallowing hard as he began to fear being ostracized by his friends, being left alone but he couldn’t just sit by and let them talk like that. “Can’t you see? You all like Professor Fernández!”

“He’s a Slytherin,” Draco threw out.

“He’s a  _ muggleborn _ ,” Theodore threw back, making Draco look away. “I just - he’s really cool, he’s - I thought he maybe had magic blood in him or something but he confirmed that he has muggle parents!”

“No, he probably has a squib parent or something,” Blaise shook his head.

“No, he’s  _ muggleborn _ . And he said he was really close to being like a muggle and - and that he didn’t care at all, that he’s  _ proud _ of it,” Theodore pressed.

“Proud of being a muggle?” Pansy snorted, falling quiet when Theodore looked down at his knees in frustration. “Come on, Theo.  _ Muggles _ are idiots. They can barely function!”

“That’s a lie,” Theodore replied. “Remember that super big machine? The telescope? It’s even more potent than our magical telescopes!”

“A wizard must’ve been involved in that,” Draco told him.

“No, it’s all muggle!  _ You’re not listening to me _ !” Theodore called and everyone fell quiet. “You all trust me, always have! Why can’t you trust me with this?!”

“Why are you doing this  _ now _ ?” Blaise frowned, in front of him, a pillar of righteousness in their little group. He looked angry and Theodore felt the floor give out from under him. “It’s the way it  _ is _ , Theodore. Who’s been telling you otherwise?”

“No one,” Theodore bit out, thinking  _ fuck it _ as he stood chest-to-chest with Blaise. “No one, I just  _ looked outside _ . Like a normal person. Don’t think I didn’t see you with Granger in the library the other day.”

The entire group turned to Blaise and the boy’s brown eyes widened, caught, making Theodore immediately plunge into the wound while Blaise was scrambling for any excuse.

“You were sitting with her, laughing and smiling, discussing one of your books, I saw!” Theodore told him and Draco looked  _ hurt _ . “And you know what?!” he called, turning fully to Blaise. “Shite, Blaise, it’s  _ alright _ !”

“No, it’s not!” Draco stood, looking angry, Blaise rubbing his face. “Really?! Her?!”

“She - it’s not what you think!” Blaise tried.

“Aren’t we enough?” Pansy asked, sitting down next to Vince, eyes dropping to the floor. “I thought  _ we _ were your friends…”

“You  _ are _ !” Blaise called, looking over all of them. “She just - we were just - it’s just academic, purely academic!”

“And that’s fine!” Theodore told everyone. “He can have more friends! He  _ should _ !”

“But we’re a group! All of us!” Draco threw his arms wide. “We’ve known each other since First Year! And more!”

“That doesn’t erase it!” Theo rushed to grip Draco’s shoulders. “You’ve friends in France, don’t you? Other friends! And so does Greg back at home! So why shouldn’t we be able to have other friends outside of Slytherin? Why the hell are we always keeping to ourselves while the other Houses are making friends with Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors?!”

“We’re different,” Vince said quietly. “Everyone thinks we’re evil.”

“We’re  _ not  _ evil,” Pansy said firmly, her hand moving to grip his. “We’re  _ not _ .”

“Then why do we keep acting like we are?!” Theodore asked, frustrated, hands in his hair, pulling hard. “Merlin’s balls! Why don’t we  _ ever _ talk to anyone outside of Slytherin?! Why do we keep thinking that muggles are stupid when half of the people here at Hogwarts have at  _ least _ one muggle relative?!”

Nobody answered, watching him, Draco looking uncomfortable.

“You want to be friends with Granger? Go for it!” Theodore told Blaise, making him look wide-eyed at his yelling friend. “Fuck it. Fuck it! Who cares! Is she smart? Does she know what you’re talking about when - when you talk about Keats? Then talk to her!”

“She’s part of the fucking  _ Potter crew _ !” Draco burst out and Theodore shoved at him when he tried to get all up in Blaise’s face.

“Just because you’ve a crush on Potter doesn’t mean that  _ he _ should suffer the consequences!” Theo barked at him and Draco’s fist came flying before he even knew it, Theodore stumbling backwards and falling on the couch.

“Theo!” Greg gasped, rushing to help him.

“Take that back!” Draco yelled, held back by Pansy and Blaise. “Take it BACK!”

“No!” Theodore replied nasally, rubbing his tender nose. “No, I’m not! Just get over it! Get over it, Draco, you’re just bringing everyone down whenever you try and do some outlandish shit to get his attention! I’m tired! We’re all tired!”

“I-I -” Draco drew back, hands shaking, face red. “I don’t -”

“It’s alright, Draco,” Pansy said quietly, looking at the blonde. “We… we already knew.”

“I  _ don’t _ have a crush on Potter,” Draco insisted.

“Keep lying,” Theodore stood, wiping the blood from his upper lip. “But I’m  _ tired _ of lying. And just obeying my father and doing as he does. He’s a shithead. And so is everything in this fucking House who keeps saying the word mudblood, as if it isn’t the biggest shite we’ve all digested since we were toddlers. There’s no mud! There’s no fucking mud, Draco!” Theodore paused, eyes trailing to Blaise, who was looking away. “I’m glad you’re friends with Granger,” he told Blaise, who winced. “I think she’ll open your eyes.”

He began to walk out of the Common Room, out of the dungeons, to the outside world where everything wasn’t so bleak and he wasn’t always thinking of what he’d lose when he wasn’t at Hogwarts anymore. Theodore wanted too many things, he’d always wanted so much more and to think that maybe his friends would see what he was starting to realize… It felt liberating. Like he didn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore.

His friends knew. Blaise was out. They’d finally told Draco that they knew about his crush on Potter. It felt like the truth was slipping out and he couldn’t be happier about it - in fact, he had enough time in his hands to do something he wanted to do.

With sure steps, he began to head to the Library, up in the Fourth Floor, passing by a group of Gryffindors that seemed to murmur about his half-bloody nose, already bruising. He didn’t really care. As he finally arrived, he thought about where he’d be able to find her when he saw Potter and Weasley slip inside, quickly following after them.

“Potter! Weasley!” he called and the two turned to him, quickly adopting a defensive pose, Weasley narrowing his eyes deeply at him. “Sorry,” he began, immediately confusing the two of them. “I’m looking for Granger?”

“What for?” Potter asked, untrusting. Theodore couldn’t blame him. 

“Yeah, she’s had enough of you lot,” Weasley threw and Theodore rubbed the back of his neck, feeling like he’d gotten maybe a bit ahead.

“Yeah, I… that’s kind of the thing,” Theodore explained. “I wanted to apologize.”

“You  _ what _ ?” Weasley’s jaw dropped.

“I wanted to apologize,” Theodore repeated. “It was shite, what I said to her back at the beginning of the year. I wanted to apologize. Let her know I won’t be saying that word again.”

“Wait, wait, where is this all coming from?” Potter asked, suspicious, stepping a bit closer. “You and Malfoy and the rest of your little group have always picked on Hermione, have always called her mean things and thrown slurs at her. What changed? Did you suddenly get a heart or something?” he scoffed.

“No, I…” Theodore felt a bit small, looking around to make sure no other Slytherins were in sight but mostly everyone was still at Hogsmeade. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, sighing. “There’s… been a change. I can’t really explain it but I don’t… think that Granger is bad. She was just a muggleborn and -”

“You called me a muggleborn.”

Theodore’s eyes snapped up and the three boys turned to see the bushy-haired Hermione watching Theodore, eyes wide. Her face was a bit hopeful but mostly surprised.

“I… yes,” Theodore nodded slowly. “Granger, look, I’m - I’m sorry, I was an idiot,” he stepped a bit closer, addressing her directly, head a bit bent since she was so tiny, needing to make himself smaller even though he was so tall. “I will not be saying that word at you anymore, ever. I just wanted you to know.”

“I… alright,” she murmured, blinking at him, looking so stunned.

“That’s - I mean, that’s it, that’s all,” Theodore moved his hand towards her, offering it, Potter and Weasley tensing as Granger looked down at it. “Truce?” he offered.

Hermione blinked at his hand, looking up at him for a moment before finally shaking Theodore’s hand, her fingers firm. A good handshake. 

“Alright. Truce,” she nodded, stepping back and tilting her chin up to look at him. “Was it Blaise?” she asked, making Weasley choke.

“ _ Blaise _ ?!” he squawked. 

“Hermione!” Potter gasped.

“No,” Theodore confessed. “It was er, me, I guess. I saw you two and I just - he should be able to have other friends, not hide it, you know? So… that’s why I’m doing this. For Blaise.”

“You’re a good friend,” she said softly, looking almost sad. “Changing your views, apologizing to me… must’ve taken a lot. You’re alone. I’m sure no one else thought this was a good idea.”

“I’m sure if they knew, they’d tell me so,” Theodore gave a little nervous laugh and Hermione’s eyes widened. “I did this on impulse,” he confessed.

“Oh,” she mumbled. “Well, I accept your apology. Thank you, Nott.”

“Thank  _ you _ , Granger,” Theo replied, giving her a small smile before turning around and walking away, his heart in his throat, heading to the Astronomy Tower with the thought of how absolutely  _ weird _ it was to talk like that to a couple of Gryffindors, especially the Golden Trio.

He reached the Astronomy Tower in a state of disarray, a little bit lost in himself. He climbed the stairs, thinking of Draco’s denial and Blaise’s expression, the way his friends had all refused to think that there was something else. But there was. Theo had seen it everywhere else, why couldn’t Slytherins do it, too?

Theo reached the class at the top of the tower, glad to see he wasn’t late and when he opened the door, he found Professor Fernández sitting down behind his desk, seemingly working on essays. And he looked  _ terrible _ .

Fernández looked up, eyes a bit red-rimmed, exhausted, sadness lacing the smile that he gave Theodore. “Theodore. Hey,” he greeted in that strange American accent of his, gesturing at him to walk closer. “Come in, come in, shut the door behind you, please.”

Theo did, looking over the telescopes and other utensils spread around the tables, guessing quickly that this was his task of the day. It’d be a lot but he didn’t mind it much if Professor Fernández was here. He was pretty cool.

“How was your morning?” the professor asked, standing, leaning against his desk. Theo let his own blue eyes roam the tattoos in his arms, always staring at that snake winding up to Fernández’s hand. He really liked that one.

“It was good,” he replied, wanting to talk about what had happened with his friends but not really wanting to jump into it. “I was with my friends. What about yours, sir?”

At that, Elías’ eye twitched and he gave a small smile, soothing and gentle but still so  _ sad _ . “Well, it could’ve been better. But now you’re here and I’m here and we’ve both got a lot to do, still. So let’s begin.” he walked over to the desk, slapping the top of one. “Telescopes first! I want you to pull them apart and work on each piece. You’ve all the cleaning equipment you need here but if you need to break away from fumes or just to stretch your limbs, let me know.”

“Alright,” Theodore nodded, sitting down on one of the desks, pretty sure he knew how to do this. “Er… professor?”

“Yes?” Fernández leaned a bit into his own desk, watching him.

“Are you okay?” Theodore asked, a bit quietly, watching him blink slowly. “You look pretty bad, sir. Are you sick again?”

“No, I - no,” he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and Theodore wondered what exactly happened for the happiest, loudest professor to be like this today. He didn’t get it. “It’s been a bad day, Theodore, that’s all. I’m quite tired but there’s still a lot of today ahead of us. Can’t let one… one little thing ruin it, hmm?”

“Alright,” was all Theo said, but he knew it probably wasn’t one little thing.

“One last thing,” the Astronomy professor called, making Theo shift in his seat, letting him know that he was listening. “Do you mind if I play some music?”

Theo was delightfully surprised at the question, shaking his head, grinning at the other Slytherin. He wondered if he would play guitar again, or maybe another instrument but instead, Professor Fernández waved his wand and music began to ring through the classroom, making him jump. That was a spell he didn’t know. And a song he definitely did not know.

It was nice, though, so he reached for the first telescope and began to pull it apart with gentle hands, not wanting to break school property and maybe make Professor Fernández’s day worse. He truly looked back, so Theo stayed quiet and worked, pretty soon getting lost in the mechanical motions of cleaning with his hands. He only ever did it for detention but it actually brought him some peace of mind. It was almost soothing.

“ _ I came in from the outside, burnt out from the joy ride. She likes to roll here in my ashes anyway… _ ” he heard Professor Fernández sing along quietly and Theo smiled a bit, looking up. It was obvious that to the professor, music was important and it brought a bit of sadness in Theo, as he thought about it. His mother had loved music as well. His father not at all. Theodore wished he’d learned harp from her, before she was killed.

But he could enjoy music here, right now, at Hogwarts, in the Astronomy classroom. He could listen to this very obviously muggle song and not feel bad for liking it, for tapping his foot along to the beat.

“ _ Tell me who, and I'll be thanking them. The numbered lovers of Duke Ellington. Do I owe each kiss to lip and cheek as soft as Chet can sing "Let's Get Lost"... _ ”

He was a bit bummed that he wouldn’t be able to go to Hogsmeade but he didn’t mind it too much if this was his punishment. It could’ve and would’ve been much worse if Professor Fernández hadn’t intervened and Theodore acknowledged that. He only wished he could vocalize it, let the professor know that he was actually grateful, that he was listening and changing. That’d he’d even confronted his friends about it.

He’d felt scared about it but now, sitting in his classroom, now he felt  _ proud _ about it. He’d risked everything because he knew what they’d been saying was wrong. And Theo was right. For once, he was  _ right _ and he  _ knew it _ .

So he felt lighter, happier as he moved from one telescope to another, nodding along to every song Professor Fernández played, songs with lots of guitars and lyrics that were easy to follow and understand, at least to Theodore. 

“What’s this one?” Theodore asked at a particularly good song, eyes. “It’s  _ so good _ .”

“Oh,” Professor Fernández looked up, looking calmer now, more settled. “It’s called Sara, by Fleetwood Mac. They’re  _ really _ good,” he grinned.

“Yeah! It’s - it’s nice,” Theodore said quietly, smiling at his telescope. He wanted to say something more but he didn’t know what, exactly. He just wanted to keep talking to Professor Fernández, get him to say more things that felt nice. Whenever Theodore talked with him, he… felt lighter. Happier. Like he’d learned something for real, not just a date on a history book, but something he could actually  _ use _ . “You… like music,” Theodore said dumbly, just to start a conversation and the professor nodded, reaching for a cup of what looked like tea, drinking deeply. “Like a lot,” Theodore added.

“I do,” Professor Fernández chuckled, pushing some dyed green hairs out of his blue eyes. “I studied it, in fact.”

“Oh! In muggle college, right?” Theodore asked and the professor nodded. “So… you play more than one instrument?”

“Yeah, I play a few,” he smiled. “Mostly guitar, piano and bass.”

“That’s so cool,” Theodore breathed, grinning, hands pausing on the tool between his hands. “Do you, um - do you play drums?”

“A bit,” he nodded. “Why?”

“Drums are cool,” Theodore shrugged, looking down at the brass of the school telescope. “I just… I think they’re nice.”

“They are,” the professor seemed amused. “Do you want to learn them?”

“My father thinks it’s a waste of time,” he replied automatically and the professor leaned back on his chair, resting his quill aside, eyebrows raising.

“That is not what I asked, Theodore,” he told the student calmly. “I asked if you want to learn how to play the drums.”

“I mean, it’d be nice,” Theodore replied, swallowing, looking over at him. “To… to learn any instrument. The drums or… the harp. Or guitar. I dunno.”

“But you asked me about the drums,” Professor Fernández told him, standing, moving to sit on the desk in front of his, getting comfortable. “Do you like drums?”

“I like them,” Theodore said quietly and it earned him a grin - a big, wide, happy grin that made him smile back shyly. “They’re - they just  _ sound _ good.”

“They mark the rhythm. You can do a lot with drums, especially set the tone of what the song is going to be like,” Professor Fernández explained, giving him a nod. “Do you know about the Hogwarts choir?”

Theodore winced, “The singing nerds?”

Professor Fernández laughed loudly, throwing his head back and Theodore gave a laugh of his own, unable to help it. He was glad the professor was at least laughing.

“Yeah, the singing nerds,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, man, that’s a funny one. Yes, Theodore,  _ those _ singing nerds. You could learn an instrument with them.”

“But I don’t want to sing, I just want to play… something,” Theodore wrinkled his nose. “Besides, I really don’t want people to think I’m with  _ them _ .”

“Alright, alright,” Professor Fernández lifted his hands. “Very well. It was just a suggestion, is all.”

“Thank you anyway,” Theodore said, because he felt like maybe he was being stupid.

“No, no, it’s alright,” he reassured, giving Theodore a small smile. “Instruments are something very personal, can be, if you let them. I understand that music feels personal to you?”

“I - I wish I knew more,” he confessed quietly. “I honestly don’t know much.”

“That’s easy to change, though,” Professor Fernández told him, gently. “You just keep listening. Curate your taste. Start looking for an instrument that calls to you.”

“What’s your favorite?”

“Guitar,” the professor paused for a moment, then laughed. “Well, and violin. But violin is very hard. I barely know how to play it, I can only play  _ one _ song well.”

“Violin is beautiful,” Theodore murmured. “But I think the harp is better.”

“Quite a hard instrument,” Professor Fernández said with respect. “You said your mom played it?”

“Yes,” Theodore murmured. “She did. She was very good.”

“I bet she was,” the professor’s hand came down to Theo’s shoulder and Theodore felt a knot in his throat, watching him back, feeling like there was so much he wanted to say. Things like  _ look at me, talk to me, acknowledge that I exist and I’m alive and important. You make me feel important.  _ “You said drums, right?”

“Yes,” Theodore nodded.

“Alright,” the professor leaned back a bit, a glint in his eyes. “Al _ right _ .”

Theodore said nothing as Professor Fernández went back to his desk, the song changing into one full of drums from the very first second. Theodore gave a grin, taking the telescope part again and cleaning with fervor.

“Do you like history?” Professor Fernández asked as the balalaika began to ring and Theodore scrunched up his face, making him laugh. “Well, I’m gonna tell you a very interesting story about a very interesting man in muggle history. Listen to the song.”

“Alright,” Theodore mumbled, not too sure, but the song sounded really good, so he let it be. Then quickly, before he knew it, the entire feeling of the song changed - from traditional, Eastern European to a funky riff on bass, followed by strings. “Oh!” he laughed, surprised.

“Yeah!” Professor Fernández laughed. 

“ _ There lived a certain man in Russia long ago. He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow. Most people looked at him with terror and with fear but to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear _ .”

Theodore wanted to listen to it in detail, as he’d been told, listening to the Astronomy professor singing along, grinning as he found himself shifting along to the song in his seat, head moving. The song was catchy and nice and by the end of it he asked Professor Fernández for the name and he wrote it down. And wrote down the next and the next and the next, happy to hear more songs until the afternoon wore off and the sky faded to a glittery black.

Theodore hadn’t noticed that he’d missed dinner, instead talking to the professor even after he’d cleaned all the tools in the classroom, eyes wide as he taught Theo the basics of music language, of composition, of instruments and how they were divided. It was addicting, to think that he was willingly learning something - from Professor Fernández, explicitly against his father’s wishes. Fuck his father. Professor Fernández probably knew better than him anyway.

Soon, though, there was a knock on the classroom door and Theo looked over to see Professor Snape, making his back straighten immediately. Professor Fernández let out a breath, almost like a sigh of relief.

“Now, I believe, Elías, that you’re supposed to set a better example for the children,” the potions master began, approaching the two of them and Theodore nervously looked at Professor Fernández, maybe expecting him to be short with Professor Snape, but he just gave a weak little laugh. 

“Sorry, time passed by so fast,” he told Professor Snape.

“I can tell,” the other cocked an eyebrow, his dark eyes shifting to Theodore, who felt caught in something he wasn’t supposed to, watching Snape back. “Mr Nott?”

“Yes, sir?” he asked nervously.

“The kitchens should have dinner for you,” was all he said and Theodore took a moment to realize that he was being dismissed as Professor Snape leaned into Professor Fernández’s desk. 

“O-oh! I - yes, sir, right away,” he nodded, picking up his notes in parchments, happy to have written down everything Professor Fernández had told him. 

“Hey, Theodore,” the other professor called as he was almost out the door and Theo turned around to see him walking over, stopping in front of him. “You did well, today. You’re a quick learner, with things you enjoy. If you ever want to take up on what we talked about… just let me know, okay?”

Theodore felt his face brighten up and he almost lost his composure and hugged Professor Fernández, instead giving him a grin.

“I’d love that, sir!” he nodded, stepping out of the classroom.

Just as he did, though, a few of his parchments fell down and he sighed, crouching to pick them up properly, accidentally hearing the conversation in the classroom, beginning with a small gasp that made him pause, leaning a bit to look in.

Against the wall, Professor Snape was pinning Professor Fernández and Theodore felt a spike of happiness as he noticed the blush on the muggleborn’s face because it meant that Pansy and he had been right - there  _ was _ something going on with these two! It wasn’t Lupin, it was Snape! It made him unbearably happy and, hoping he wouldn’t be caught, he listened in.

“You can’t keep skipping meals, Elías,” Snape began.

“I can’t keep it in today, Sev, I - I just can’t,” Fernández replied, and Snape’s features crisped into something strange.

“What did  _ he _ do now?”

“Gods, how do you -”

“You look  _ crushed _ . What did he do?”

“Please, Sev,  _ please _ , don’t do this to me. Not now. I need to sleep on it, I think.”

“No, you need to  _ talk _ about this,” Snape pressed and Theodore felt like he was getting more questions than answers.

Everyone had been talking about Professor Fernández and Professor Snape, back in Slytherin House. Most everyone was  _ fine _ with Professor Fernández, if only because he didn’t deduct many points and he didn’t have an obvious favoritism towards Gryffindor, while still asking about their homework load and being just a good teacher overall. And those people in Slytherin that did  _ really _ like him had noticed how the professors had gotten close. More than close.

Hell, he and Pansy were  _ deep _ into this.

Watching it now, thinking of how he had to tell Pansy what he was witnessing, Theodore tried not to get caught by those two. He hoped they’d get together. He hoped people would see that there were more ways of being a Slytherin. And he hoped Professor Fernández would help them all get rid of the two-parchment essays Professor Snape always gave out.

“I don’t think I can without crying, Sev,” Professor Fernández said quietly and the silence that followed made Theodore think that maybe they’d heard him. Or that they were kissing. The thought was a bit gross and he almost walked out but then he heard Professor Snape sigh.

“Let me take you to dinner,” he said and Theodore wished so badly that Pansy was here to freak out with him. “Just - dinner. Eating. Which is my priority for you right now. And if you feel with energy and need to talk, I am right here, Elías.”

“...okay,” the other professor sighed back. “Dinner where?”

“My place.”

Theodore scrambled the quietest he could away from the door, knowing that sooner or later they’d catch him and he didn’t want to get into trouble. As soon as he was out of hearing range, he began to run back to the dungeons, eyes wide, grinning, panting out the password to the wall and stumbling into the Slytherin Common Room, where his friends were all seated as usual.

They all turned to him as he rushed inside and Blaise stood, looking guilty.

“Theo, we’ve talked and -”

“GUYS!” he laughed, almost falling against Greg, everyone watching him with surprise. “You won’t  _ believe _ what I just saw!”

* * *

Elías couldn’t lie. He was nervous.

He stepped into Severus’ home at Spinner’s End with a deep respect, understanding that Severus was giving him a lot of trust doing this and understanding that Severus was doing this for  _ him _ . He’d been caught, he’d been pinned to the wall, he’d been offered an ear, a shoulder to cry on. Gods, Severus had seen  _ right through him _ . Elías hadn’t realized that at some point, that had happened - that now Severus could read him like an open book. It felt dangerous.

As the two entered through the chimney, Elías blinked, realizing that here in Spinner’s End, the weather was much worse than at Hogwarts. Rain was beating down on the windows and Elías took a look around the living room - muted colors, white walls, not many frames and those that were hung were only of a woman that had Severus’ hair color and a sad smile. There was a sort of mood that immediately pressed into Elías, in this home, and he felt the cold seep into him. There were a lot of books on potions on the shelves, as well as dark tomes that he found himself interested in but Severus turned to Elías.

“Do you enjoy Italian?” he asked and Elías was unable to hold back a little smile.

“Any Mediterranean dish is good to me,” he told Severus, who actually took off his outer layer and laid it on the back of a chair, stepping into a door which Elías could see was the kitchen. 

Curious, he followed him inside, eyes widening at the sigh - oh, but what a beautiful rustic kitchen. It didn’t have an island but it had a sturdy wooden table in the middle and Elías looked at the older appliances with a sort of giddiness that only came when cooking was involved. He ran his fingers through the old wood, looking at the relic that was the oven, breathing in sharply.

“This is gorgeous,” he told Severus, whom he could see pulling out ingredients with the same precision that he handled potion ingredients with. Onion, celery, leeks, lardon, olive oil… Elías leaned against the counter, watching avidly, slowly feeling himself relax. Severus knew what he was doing in the kitchen and of  _ course _ he did, he was a potions master.

Still, it was - fuck, alright, it was  _ sexy _ . Elías liked a man who could -

This whole attraction thing was what put him in such a state and he shouldn’t be thinking of how much he was starting to like Severus, who was about ten times if not a hundred times more prickly and more walled up than Remus. So Elías forced himself to look away, to the window, where water running down the glass obscured everything else but the tree in front of it. It felt a bit depressing, this place.

“Wine?” Severus asked, making him look over at him, a bottle of white in his hand.

“I like a good Prosecco,” he admitted and Severus pulled out two glasses. “And I honestly need a glass or a bottle of one.”

“Did he fuck it up that much?” Severus asked bluntly, passing him the wine glass and Elías sighed, looking at his drink for a moment. 

With a short breath, Elías drank down his first glass in one go, Severus’ eyebrows rising high into his hairline as Elías finished it and filled it again, taking a sip, feeling anger and frustration well up inside him.

“Yep,” he stated, nodding. 

“Alright,” Severus took a quick sip of his own glass and set it aside, pulling out an onion knife - he had  _ good knives  _ \- and letting an onion roll to the wooden board he’d pulled out. “Would you like to help me?”

“Gladly,” Elías sighed, putting his drink next to Severus’ and wielding the knife with precision after washing his hands, starting to peel the outer layers. “Diced?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright.”

With that, he began to cut rapidly, partly wanting to show off and partly just glad for one of his favorite ways to de-stress. He began to play music, too, oldies that Severus had told him he liked, starting with some classic Frank Sinatra playing low. Severus didn’t acknowledge it but he didn’t complain, either, so Elías counted it as a win.

“So,” Severus began, taking a pan and drizzling some olive oil into it, letting it coat after it warmed up a bit. “Would you tell me what happened to upset you so?”

“Gods, I really am going to,” Elías whispered, rubbing his face. “You already hate the bloke, right? So it just… won’t do much. If I tell you, I mean.”

“Lupin is and has always been a spineless coward and I’m guessing the events you’re not telling me yet attest to this,” Severus said dryly and Elías winced.

“Not exactly,” he replied, finishing up with the onion and looking around the cabinets for a bowl, finding one easily and going on his tiptoes to grab it, pouring the diced onion in. “We… had a bit of a discussion. Not a fully blown fight? Tomorrow is the full moon and… well, fuck, he got mad at something that happened with his father and he got the whole - glowy eyes, claws and fangs out, you know?”

Severus nodded, “That may happen near the full moon, yes.”

“And I knew that! I know that! We’re not children here, we  _ know _ what it means for him to be a werewolf,” Elías sighed, taking his glass and having a good sip. “I certainly know.”

“But he decided you didn’t,” Severus said, taking the chicken thighs he’d set to the side and searing them in the pan, taking some chopsticks and a small, oval shaped bowl, setting it near the pan. “And pushed you away.”

“He  _ tried _ to,” Elías countered, frowning. “He was all,  _ oh, look at me! I’m a monster! I’m a danger to society! _ ” he pursed his lips, cutting the celery now. “Fucking - at this point it’s just unhealthy, Sev. And he keeps fucking doing it. So I told him that I was going nowhere, that he was in the wrong, that I was here to stay.”

“And what did he do?” Severus asked, taking his own glass.

“He kissed me.”

Severus choked on his drink, almost spraying it over the window and Elías would’ve laughed if the answer hadn’t brought him such misery. The potions professor look over at Elías, frowning deeply, confused and angry. Just like Elías.

“But he did what else?” he asked. “Because if he’d just kissed you -”

“He kissed me,” Elías cut in, swallowing hard as he put the celery aside and began to cut the leeks. “And then told me that it was a mistake and that the reason he keeps stringing me along is because he’s  _ lonely _ . And I’m left standing there like booboo the fucking fool. Because I’ve put -” 

Elías covered his mouth with his hand, eyes burning and Severus pulled the chicken out of the pan carefully, killing the fire under it, turning to Elías fully. Giving him his undivided attention.

“I thought there  _ was _ something, underneath it all. I didn’t want to hope but I  _ did _ ,” he confessed quietly. “And when he kissed me, I - I thought that was  _ it _ , you know? But no, he was just - he was just  _ lonely _ ,” Elías laughed wetly. “He kissed me because he was lonely, Severus.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Severus’ upper lip curled with disgust. “What a disgusting -”

“No, Sev, this is  _ my _ fault,” Elías whispered. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He’d rejected me before, I can’t believe I - I kissed him back! I kissed him back, oh, I’m such an  _ idiot _ !” he rubbed his face hard, sobbing. “It shouldn’t hurt this much!”

“It is  _ not _ your fault,” Severus told him firmly, moving in front of Elías, lifting his chin with two gentle fingers, his other hand caging the Slytherin in as it gripped the table where Elías was leaning against. “He’s the  _ fool _ who used you. He’s the one who rejected you, then kissed you, then rejected you again. He’s  _ toying with you _ . Don’t let him treat you this way and  _ get away with it _ .”

“I just want a straight answer,” Elías whined, hands against his eyes. “Fuck, Sev,  _ fuck _ , I hate this. I really thought I was starting to get over my feelings for him -”

“You never were,” Severus sighed, Elías’ hands dropping down to his sides. “It’s understandable. You two are - were - close. But he has to learn that this game he’s playing has consequences on you.”

“I really should,” Elías croaked out.

“And you will,” Severus told him, leaning down to look firmly into his eyes. “What will you say to him?”

“Please, stop?” Elías tried, laughing wetly, feeling Severus’ hand shift from his chin to his cheek, brushing a tear away with his thumb. “Sev, I just want to drink wine and hide in my bed for seventeen years.”

“I’m afraid that’s not an option,” Severus responded, rolling his eyes. “You tell him to  _ stop _ . No please. You’re way past asking or begging. Lupin is playing around with your heart when he knows that you’ve invested feelings in him. I don’t care what you think, I know him more than what you can believe.”

“I don’t -”

“Elías, just tell him to stop. Firmly,” Severus held his face firmly but when Elías moved, his fingers fell away, making Elías breathe easier, hand moving to hold Severus’ for support. To Elías’ surprise, Severus’ fingers squeezed his, his thumb rubbing against the center of Elías’ palm, thoroughly calming him down, head dropping against his chest. He felt like a whirlwind, like he couldn’t focus and he couldn’t stay still. 

“I’ll do that,” Elías murmured, sighing. “Can we go back to drinking wine and cooking? I like cooking. A lot.”

“I can tell,” Severus put gently, his hand moving to Elías’ wrist, gently brushing the inside of it and Elías’ heart jumped around his ribcage. “Let’s keep going, then. Finish cutting the leek, if you’d please.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, feeling Severus walk back to the stove, turning the fire back on with a flick of his wand and placing the pan once more on top, letting it slowly heat up as he also took a knife and a big piece of lardon, chopping it finely. “You enjoy cooking?”

“I do,” Severus nodded, glancing over at Elías, wrist moving with precision. “I find it as easy to manage and as soothing as brewing potions.”

“I agree,” Elías smiled softly. “I -  _ thoroughly _ agree. Whenever I’m stressed… I cook.”

“I could tell.”

Elías startled at the statement, turning to look at Severus before realizing that this was exactly why Severus had brought him to his home to cook, lungs collapsing a bit, eyes burning again. Severus had taken a leap of faith letting him into his home just so Elías could cook with him and feel better. Severus had done something selfless just so Elías could feel  _ better _ .

“Is that the onion or are you crying again?”

“Shut u-up,” Elías sobbed, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his wrist, finishing the leek as Severus poured the bacon into the pass, starting to sizzle. “Y-you’re stupid s-sweet sometimes…”

Severus rolled his eyes, taking the glass of wine, watching the pan avidly. Elías took a moment to compose himself, also grabbing his drink, taking two long sips before turning to Severus, eyes soft.

“Thank you,” he told the man, because he deserved to be thanked. “You didn’t have to let me in but… you did. And I’m grateful for it. Cooking with you, just like brewing, it… it means a lot to me, Severus. More than you think. So thank you.”

The potions professor let the glass rest on the counter, moving the lardon in the pan with a wooden spoon before taking a deep breath, finally turning to Elías and nodding. He didn’t have to say more, not really. It was enough for Elías, who leaned against the counter and watched Severus drop the aromatics into the pan. Before he could reach for the olive oil, though, Elías was already on it, swirling some on top. Severus gave him a small smirk, as if sharing something private while Elías finished up his second glass.

“We’ve patrol tonight,” he reminded Elías, eying the way the Spaniard filled a third.

“I ain’t no lightweight,” Elías replied, cocking an eyebrow at Severus. “Plus, I need it. Good wine solves every single problem I’m facing tonight.”

“Heartbreak?” Severus asked.

“Cisgender men being fucking stupid,” he replied and -

Severus laughed.

Elías nearly dropped his glass, eyes wide, watching Severus as his eyes closed, his mouth opened and a little chortle left his throat. Voice so deep, smile just… pure and unadulterated, letting it all out in the open for Elías to see, for him to scramble for hold. Elías felt his face burn and his stomach float away, butterflies roaming his insides. Gods.  _ Gods _ , Severus had a very nice laugh.

Elías giggled a bit nervously, taking a long sip as Severus shook his head, amused, moving the pan so the vegetables would be evenly cooked. It smelled heavenly.

“I made you laugh,” Elías pointed out and Severus looked over at him, still smiling a bit, making Elías curse the heavens because  _ who allowed this man to do that? _ “I told you I would.”

“That you did,” he admitted, eyebrows raising, smirking. “I suppose you do win sometimes, Elías.”

Elías just laughed, shaking his head, walking a bit closer. “So what is it that we’re cooking tonight?”

“Pesto chicken with cheese dumplings,” Severus hummed, Elías’ eyes widening. “You mentioned at dinner once that you liked dumplings. I do not know much about Asian cuisine so I looked for something European. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Sev, you’re going to  _ kill _ me tonight,” Elías breathed, hand over his heart, feeling gratefulness ooze out of him as his hand went to Severus’ arm, squeezing. “Just - how could you remember that? I don’t even know when I said that.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I  _ do _ listen,” Severus told him, taking the bag of flour and the seasoning and starting to drop them into the pan with careful pinches. Elías watched him, endlessly fascinated by all these things about Severus that he’d never been privy to. It seemed like the apology had torn something down within him, around his heart. Elías could catch now a glimpse of what people like Lucius Malfoy saw. “I… I don’t often say this to just anyone, but I’ve a condition called eidetic memory.”

Elías froze, eyes wide, watching Severus in a suddenly completely different light. The man had a photographic memory. The man could remember everything with  _ precision _ . That was why he was so detailed, so driven to potions. Gods.

“That makes a lot of sense,” Elías replied.

“Does it?” Severus questioned, turning to Elías for a moment.

“Mhmm,” the Spaniard nodded. “You’re a man of details.”

“You could say that,” Severus hummed.

Elías watched him cook and stir for a moment before reaching for the wine, making Severus sigh but instead of serving himself a fourth glass, he poured it into the pan, already knowing where this was going. Basic Mediterranean. He liked white better than red for cooking, in any case.

“Thank you,” Severus said as he made sure everything was surrounded by wine before taking the chicken he’d seared before, dropping the bay leaves and covering the pan with a little  _ click _ from the glass top. Turning to Elías, “Would you like to make the dumplings with me?”

“I’d love nothing more,” Elías replied, grinning a bit, his worries so much further away as Tony Bennett sang in the background. 

The rest of the preparation for dinner was much of the same - soft banter, discussion of Italian cuisine, a little bit more wine and an actual laugh from Severus. Just one more, when Elías made another dry joke that he didn’t mean to fully land. But it was delightful, so delightful, his heart less heavy and his body lighter by the time the stew and dumplings were in the oven.

“Honestly, I needed this,” Elías told Severus as the two walked into the living room, Severus and Elías sitting down on the couch, wine in hand and heads a bit lighter because of it. “I needed to cook, to get away from the castle, from… just everything, I guess. And the rain is kind of soothing.”

“Sometimes the bustling of London or the castle is overwhelming to me,” Severus confessed, finishing his glass and setting it aside while Elías nursed a glass of cool water. “I feel - as if the castle had too much. Too many memories.”

“Yeah,” Elías murmured. “I feel it too. I often go back home, as well, you know?”

“Yes, I noticed, that night when… Black tried to kill Weasley,” Severus sighed.

“Right,” Elías flushed. “Look, I just - San Fernando is hot, it’s humid, it’s got the ocean and I really can’t live without it.”

“The ocean,” Severus spoke up softly, looking at Elías with a curious look. “It means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just - the beach. The sand under my toes, the water around me, the salt in my mouth… it’s just soothing. Has always been since I was a kid. Hell, I learned how to swim before I learned how to walk.”

“I’ve never seen the ocean,” Severus confessed.

“I’ll take you to my hometown one day, then,” Elías said quietly, the song changing to Frank and Nancy Sinatra singing  _ Somethin’ Stupid _ . “It’s nice there.”

“Perhaps too nice,” Severus responded just as quiet and Elías didn’t question him.

The two sat in silence but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. Elías felt the calmness in the air, the music and the rain, dropping his head against the backrest of the couch and closing his eyes for a moment, smiling a bit, even. He didn’t feel as awful now and he was so very grateful to Severus for it, cracking one blue eye open to find the man with his elbow resting on the backrest, holding his head by the heel of his hand, eyes shut. 

He looked… calm. In a way that Elías had never seen him. Like he didn’t have to hide and the humble feeling it brought Elías was like a freight train, putting his glass of water away.

“ _ I practice every day to find some clever lines to say, to make the meaning come through but then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you. _ ”

“Sev?” Elías asked and Severus didn’t open his eyes.

“Hmm?”

“Tell me what song you want me to play next,” Elías smiled as Severus’ lips twitched a bit, his eyes opening, watching the Spaniard. “Whichever.”

“Whichever?”

“Whichever.”

“Very well,” he finished off his wine, setting it aside. “ _ I’ll Be Seeing You _ .”

“Billie Holiday?” Elías grinned.

“Who else?” Severus chuckled.

“Very well,” he laughed, letting the song fade before Severus’ song began, the old sounds of the captured instruments ringing through the room, making Elías relax deeply. Severus mouthed along as soon as it began to play, eyes fluttering shut again.

“ _ I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places that this heart of mine embraces. All day and through. In that small cafe, the park across the way, the children's carousel, the chestnut trees, the wishing well… _ ”

Elías didn’t speak, not wanting to break this delicate thing hanging here. This moment of soft friendship and trust. Watching Severus instead, the open expression in his face, the way music swayed the man and his emotions. He didn’t seem sad, though. Just… moved.

“ _ I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day, in everything that's light and gay. I'll always think of you that way. I'll find you in the morning sun and when the night is new, I'll be looking at the moon but I'll be seeing you… _ ”

Elías knew that soon the stew and dumplings would be done but he didn’t want to move, passing other songs, some that Severus whispered for him to play. It was so lovely, so utterly lovely and calm that Elías forgot about Remus, about Sirius, about the Slytherins and the Sights and the awful things that seemed to always loom in the distance.

For now, it was just Severus and Elías, listening to Etta James, Nat King Cole and Vera Lynn. The latter seemed to really light Severus up, his expression moving through the song  _ We’ll Meet Again _ . Elías loved it, loved all of this, loved how he was opening up to Elías and opening up in general.

“It’s a crime that we haven’t danced to any of these,” Elías told him when the moment finally broke with the magic alarm the two had placed for dinner. 

“I don’t dance,” Severus stated, very firmly and Elías hip-checked him on their way to the kitchen.

“You said the same about laughing,” he pointed out and Severus snorted.

“Touché,” he smirked. “But you will not catch me dancing.”

“Life is full of twists and turns, Severus, you never know,” Elías taunted as Severus pulled out his wand to open the open and take out the casserole dish he’d put the stew and dumplings in, the kitchen filled with a delicious smell that reminded Elías of just how utterly  _ hungry  _ he was. “Oh my Gods, that looks amazing.”

“It does,” Severus recognized, plates and glasses and cutlery flying around them both as he began to magically set up the table in the living room, over the dining table by the garden doors. Elías smiled, not used to doing this with magic but he had to admit that it was nice to look at. He’d still do it the muggle way, though. “No more wine for you.”

“Fair, I honestly think I’m a bit tipsy,” Elías admitted.

“Did you eat at all today?” Severus asked, frowning as he looked at Elías.

“Breakfast,” he replied and Severus grunted, reaching over to pull on his ear.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!” Elías cried out, batting at Severus’ hand until he was released. “It was a big breakfast!”

“I don’t believe you,” Severus rolled his eyes, pulling the chair out for Elías, making him blink before slowly sitting down, whispering a soft  _ thank you _ . Nobody had ever pulled out a chair for him. Christ. “At least now I know you’ll be eating.”

“I’m used to skipping meals,” Elías told him, like a dumbass, and Severus turned his sharp eyes onto Elías, pausing. “I mean -”

“You lost a lot of weight,” Severus pointed out, making Elías’ face drop a bit, looking down at his plate and not at his friend. “Back when you studied at Hogwarts -”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I was overweight,” Elías babbled, waving his hand, sighing. “Can we drop this?”

“Did you starve yourself?” Severus asked bluntly and Elías rubbed his face, groaning.

“Yes, I did, now can we enjoy dinner without bringing up my or your trauma? We had a nice thing going here,” he sighed.

“If you’re perpetuating bad habits -”

“It’s - it’s just hard, okay?” Elías said hastily. “I honestly don’t notice and it’s not because I want to starve, it’s because I  _ forget _ . It’s a habit, and I know it’s bad, but I just forget because I’ve better things to do or I just don’t have the energy.”

“Must I take you to dinner every night, then?” Severus asked, completely serious, making Elías recoil a bit, guilt rolling in his stomach. 

“N-no, it’s fine, Sev, you don’t have to,” he quickly tried to say, swallowing.

“Elías -”

“I don’t want to bother you,” Elías spoke up, wincing. “You’ve already done all of this for me, it… it feels like too much, Sev. Like I’m… a burden.”

“You are not,” Severus replied firmly, reaching over to flick his forehead, making Elías whine. “I am offering. Just like you’ve offered everything else in the course of our friendship. If you have trouble eating, I will personally come and get you so we can eat together. Would that help?”

“I mean -” Elías paused, looking down at his dinner before looking up at Severus, wanting to be honest with him. “...yeah, it would.”

“That’s settled, then,” Severus nodded, making Elías smile a bit despite the little ball of guilt he felt. “Do not feel guilty,” he spoke, because he could read Elías’ mind without using any godsdamn spells, of course.

“It’s hard not to, I don’t want to bother your schedule,” Elías mumbled, taking the jar of water and pouring him and himself some. 

“I am offering, it is not a bother,” Severus replied, tapping the knuckle of his index finger on Elías’ temple, making the Spaniard scrunch up his nose. “Let other people take care of you for once, Elías,” he chided, softer than Elías expected, making him flush.

“I’m just not used to it,” he explained.

“Neither am I, but we can always learn, can we not?” he posed, cocking an eyebrow, making Elías’ eyes widen. 

“Oh, you  _ cheeky _ bastard,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “Using my own words against me. Fine. But next dinner is on me. I’ll choose the meal.”

“Sounds good to me,” Severus hummed, starting to dig into his meal and Elías did the same, pulling a dumpling from the stew and savoring it, eyes going wide, the burst of flavors in his tongue nearly making him moan.

“ _ Oh my Gods _ ,” he gasped, looking over at Severus to find him watching Elías intensely, looking smug. “Sev.  _ Sev, this is amazing _ .”

“I know,” he replied and Elías laughed, reaching over to pull on Severus’ ear, earning him a gentle slap on the wrist. 

"Your ego is showing.”

“Nothing wrong with a bit of ego,” Severus replied. “You could use some.”

“I have some,” Elías defended, laughing. “In fact, I’ve a lot.”

“Real ego, Elías,” Severus rolled his eyes. “You could definitely use some more.”

“When I find some, I’ll let you know,” Elías chuckled, going back to his meal, playing some more music as the two settled to eat and honestly? Elías  _ was _ hungry and this dinner was so much better than anything he’d had recently at Hogwarts. The fact that he and Severus had cooked it only made it better and he enjoyed every bit.

In fact, he enjoyed every second of dinner, Severus asking about his favorite things to cook, offering information as to how he’d learned to cook - his mother had thoroughly enjoyed it and as a child, he’d taken to working with her in the kitchen. Elías listened to Severus talk for a while, smiling, hearing all about Eileen Snape.

“She sounds like she was a lovely woman,” Elías told him.

“She was,” Severus murmured, looking into his empty plate, eyes denoting slight sadness. Months ago, Elías probably wouldn’t have noticed it but now he did and he hesitated before reaching over and placing his hand over Severus’, the man’s eyes snapping to his.

“I’m glad you told me about her,” he said softly, moving a bit closer to the corner of the table so he could lean towards Severus. “I’m humbled that you’d let me into your home and tell me of her, Sev. So thank you.”

Severus watched his eyes for a moment, scrutinizing, analyzing them, trying to figure Elías out and Elías let himself be open and honest. His ringed, tattooed fingers slowly curled and, as Severus’ eyes went down to look at their joined hands, Elías squeezed his fingers, letting his own warmth seep to Severus.

Suddenly, Severus cleared his throat, face flushed, giving him a quick squeeze back and pulling it away. Elías smiled a bit, knowing that it was hard to be vulnerable and be so open but it was alright. One day Severus would be already with more affection shown outwardly.

“We should go back,” Severus spoke, standing, swirling his wand to make the plates all rush to the kitchen, starting to clean themselves. “It’s almost time for our patrol tonight.”

“Indeed,” Elías nodded. After patrol, he’d go to the Shrieking Shack… with Remus. “It’s best to leave already but - thank you. Your home is lovely.”

“It isn’t, don’t lie,” Severus snorted.

“Well, it’s yours,” Elías replied, frowning. “At first I thought it was a bit dark but - I like it now, after we ate dinner together. It’s lovely because it’s yours.”

Severus gave a sigh, looking away, the apples of his cheeks taking more color and Elías let out a huge grin. He’d  _ flattered the man _ . Tonight was just full of surprises for Elías, bad  _ and _ good. “Let’s go,” the potions master told him, grabbing some floo powder and Elías chuckled before he followed, giving one last look at Spinner’s End, the home of Severus, rain banging down a bit harder than when they’d arrived. As Severus disappeared into the chimney, Elías gave a swirl of his wand and let a single sunflower bloom on top of the coffee table, a little gift for Severus when he came back. A reminder that he’d given something that Elías would treasure and appreciate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://discord.gg/9A4mMbd
> 
> Songs played:
> 
> In the classroom (the ones mentioned)  
> \- Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier  
> \- Sara by Fleetwood Mac  
> \- Rasputin by Boney M.
> 
> In Severus' place:  
> \- I've Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra  
> \- Somethin' Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra  
> \- I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday  
> \- A Sunday Kind of Love by Etta James  
> \- Unforgettable by Nat King Cole  
> \- We'll Meet Again by Vera Lynn  
> \- The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennett


	36. The Map

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As always, a HUGE thank you to those reading, subscribing and kudo'sing this story! We're nearly at 3k hits and we've reached 150 kudos!! I can't believe it! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Consider joining us on discord! https://discord.gg/R6GtxzX
> 
> There are no songs playing today but here's the song that I was listening to while writing this chapter;  
> \- Human by Of Monsters And Men

Their patrol began in the Dungeons, walking into the Slytherin Common Room to make sure everyone was in bed. By the couches, the only ones awake still were the familiar little troupe of Slytherins and Elías smiled at them while Severus spoke up.

“Pray tell, what are you six doing out of your rooms?”

The six friends turned to the two professors and they all quickly scrambled up, already in their pajamas, looking ready for bed but not to call it a night. Elías smiled at them, softening Severus’ words a bit.

“It’s quite late and tomorrow the four of you have a lot of work to do in the Dungeons,” Elías reminded them, smiling softly and Pansy gave him a strange smile, giggling as she nudged Theodore, who also snickered, the group climbing up at the shallow stairs towards the bedrooms. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, professors!” they called.

“What was  _ that _ about?” Elías mumbled, touching his face. “I don’t have anything on my face, do I?”

“No,” Severus rolled his eyes. “They’re just  _ teenagers _ .”

“Right,” Elías laughed, grinning at him. “Because you know them so well.”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Severus turned on his heel, walking out of the Common Room, Elías right beside him. “They are narcissistic, their egos are indestructible and they’re reckless. And they  _ talk too much _ .”

“I think they’re misunderstood,” Elías replied, the two strolling with gentle  _ lumos _ shining in their wands. “I think they don’t know how to control their emotions or act like the adults everyone wants them to be. I think they’re treated as children and expected to act like adults and that frustrates them a lot. They should be allowed to be teens, not children or adults.”

Severus said nothing and Elías knew that it was because he was pondering his words, ruminating on it. Elías did not speak and the two walked for the first hour of their castle patrol in comfortable silence, wine and dumplings still warm in their bellies.

“Do you think Black will come again?” Elías asked him, trying to see if he suspected anything or if Remus and Elías had to be on the lookout.

“Yes,” Severus replied, frowning deeply. “He’ll be back.”

“Then we better be on the lookout,” Elías murmured.

“It won’t do much,” Severus said dryly, moving into a tight hallway in the Third Floor next to Elías. “Black knows how to get in, obviously. He and his friends back in school years… they moved fast. They know Hogwarts secrets. Secrets Lupin refuses to share.”

“I don’t know about that,” Elías scoffed. “If Remus saw Black, he’d wring his neck.”

“Are you sure about that?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Elías nodded, and he meant it. Tonight he’d very probably have to pull Remus away from Sirius at some point. “I am very sure.”

“I wouldn’t trust him, if I were you,” Severus told Elías, upper lip curling. “Look what he  _ did _ to you.”

“I’ll talk to him after patrol,” Elías sighed. “I’m not sure any of us are going to sleep after what happened so I’d rather get it over with.”

“And you’ll tell him to stop, yes?” Severus looked at him and Elías sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck. “Elías?”

“Yes, I will,” he nodded, glancing at Severus, finding him staring worriedly at his blues. “I will tell him to stop leading me on, alright? I’ll be firm.”

“Alright,” Severus murmured, nodding, seemingly satisfied. “You deserve better than that. Better than him.”

“You only say that because you hate him,” Elías told Severus, frowning.

“No,” Severus replied, unbothered. “I say that because he’s made you cry more than once. And that’s enough in my books to see he doesn’t deserve you.”

“ _ You _ have made me cry. I cry a lot. And that’s no way to figure out - like - it’s not about  _ deserving _ ,” Elías said with frustration. “It’s about mutual understanding.”

“Right, because you’ve got so much of that going on,” Severus said dryly and Elías flushed with shame, looking away. “You told him how you feel. He said he felt nothing, then kissed you because  _ he felt lonely _ . It sounds like a lie to me.”

“Doesn’t matter if it is,” Elías said quietly. “He said no.”

“Alright,” Severus blew out a breath slowly. “He said no. So why did he kiss you?”

“Because he’s an asshole,” Elías mumbled, rubbing his face. “And he was lonely.”

“No,” Severus replied, firmly. “Tell me why  _ you _ think he -”

“Because he’s still in love with someone he abhors now and he’s using me as a projection of him - a better, younger, happier person who hasn’t fucked up yet,” Elías snapped. “So there you go, Severus, that’s what I think.”

“I think that’s partly but not entirely true,” the potions master frowned.

“Oh, really? And -”

The two paused, wands going out as they saw a light to the left turn. Elías glanced at Severus and Severus pursed his lips, slowly taking a step forward. Elías was internally  _ begging _ for it not to be Sirius, to be a student or another professor or  _ anyone else _ . The two walked forward, turning the corner as the light turned off and Severus, slowly grasped Elías’ arm in the dark, the two advancing slowly before -

The light gave way to a familiar kid, both Severus and Elías breathing out - the latter giving quite a deep sigh of relief. Harry looked caught, green eyes wide, looking between Severus and Elías with a guilty look. Elías remembered that he’d caught the kiss from this morning, frowning at the kid, trying to be calm.

“Potter,” Severus’ lip curled in annoyance and Elías stepped a bit forward, wanting to get the brunt off Harry. The kid was stupid, yes, he shouldn’t be out of bed but he didn’t want Severus to take his anger on him. “What are you doing wandering the corridors at night?”

“Er… sleepwalking,” Harry said and the slap of Elías’ hand over his face was audible.

“How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter. He, too, was exceedingly arrogant, strutting about the castle,” Severus said and Elías turned to him before Harry could respond, gripping his arm and  _ pulling _ , making Severus nearly fall over, looking at Elías.

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up,” he hissed at him, Severus’ eyes wide with surprise but Elías would  _ not _ let him talk shit about the boy’s  _ dead father _ . “Potter,” he told the boy, who went tense. “Roaming the halls at night while there’s a  _ killer on the loose _ waiting to get you alone is a very,  _ very _ irresponsible and stupid thing to do. Do you understand how stupid this is?”

Harry winced, looking down at his shoes before nodding.

“Do you?” Elías pressed, needing him to hear it.

“I do,” he said quietly.

“Good,” Elías crossed his arms. “Thirty points from Gryffindor. Maybe by losing a cup, you’ll understand that roaming at night is dangerous now more than ever. I don’t care what you were doing or where you were going - I just need you in  _ bed _ .  _ Now _ ,” he pointed at the hall, towards the Gryffindor Tower and Harry swallowed, nodding, moving towards the tower when an old piece of parchment slid from his pocket, Severus catching it with a frown.

“What is this?” he asked and Harry turned, panic seeping into his eyes.

“Spare bit of parchment,” he shrugged, taking it quickly but Severus stopped him.

“Is it?” his eyes narrowed. “Open it, Potter.”

He did, making Severus and Elías lean in, watching the blank parchment. Elías frowned, pulling out his long wand, touching the tip of it to the old paper.

“ _ Revelus _ ,” he called. Whatever this way, Elías had a feeling that Harry didn’t want them to know - maybe something dangerous. The kid  _ was _ a foolish Gryffindor, after all. Yet as letters appeared and Severus barked at Harry to read it, the boy took in a deep breath.

“ _ Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Fernández, and _ …” he paused as Elías froze, not believing his ears. “ _...begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business _ .”

Severus snarled, pulling the parchment from his hands and Elías snatched it quickly, reading, unable to believe what he was seeing.

“ _ Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Professor Fernández is an ugly git _ ,” Elías read, making Severus  _ glare _ at Harry. “ _ Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Fernández good day, and advises him to actually have a normal hair color. _ ”

“ _ POTTER! _ ” Severus snarled, turning to the boy, who looked horrified.

“Wait, wait,” Elías wheezed, laughing into his hand, making Severus turn to him. “There’s one more! Listen, listen -  _ Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor when he can barely reach the railing of the stairs. _ ”

Elías burst out laughing, holding the parchment in his hands, shaking his head as he giggles wildly but Severus looked  _ furious _ .

“How can you laugh?!” he snapped at Elías, the Astronomy professor wheezing. “How could you ever laugh?! These four are -”

“Because it’s hilarious!” Elías giggled, shaking his head. “A parchment that insults whomever tries to read it. It’s juvenile, stupid, but well-crafted. A bit personal, though.”

“Elías, this is not a  _ joke - _ ”

“I was unaware that there was a gathering here so late at night.”

The three of them turned to Remus Lupin standing in the hallway, looking absolutely demolished by the day - red eyes, dark circles, exhaustion oozing from him. Elías felt his heart skip a beat despite it all, despite everything, expression turning to one of hurt and before he knew it, Severus was walking forward, eyes furious.

“No, no,  _ no, NO! _ ” Elías called, dropping his wand to grip Severus’ arm, pulling him back, Remus’ wide eyes on the two of them. “Stop, STOP!”

“You’re  _ so _ lucky that you’ve always got other people to cover up for the way you  _ fuck up _ , Lupin,” Severus snarled, all teeth and venom, a hissing snake letting Elías pull him back before Severus took the Zonko’s parchment and threw it at his face. “Next time you want to insult Elías, just do what you did this morning instead of complaining about the way he  _ looks _ .”

Remus grasped the parchment, looking at it before looking at Harry, eyes growing worried. Elías swallowed, feeling the tension in the air, Harry looking absolutely boggled by everything going on.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Remus said quietly and Severus lurched forward - but Elías held him back, heart in his throat. 

“Please, please,  _ please _ , Sev,” he begged quietly. “Please, just - just get Harry back to the tower, yes?”

“I’m not leaving you alone with him,” he hissed, turning to Elías, eyes hard. “You won’t tell him. I know you. You won’t say anything.”

“I will,” Elías replied, a bit choked. “Sev, I  _ will _ -”

“When he does it once more, you know where to find me, then,” Severus hastily ripped his arm from Elías’ hold, gripping Harry’s shoulder and pushing him forward. Elías nearly fell to the floor, knees shaking, confrontation always pulling adrenaline in painful ways for him.

He was left alone with Remus, then, making his heart sink to his feet and he leaned down to grab the wand, swallowing hard, hands trembling.

“Elías -” Remus tried to start but the Spaniard beat him to it, turning to Remus, face twisted with hurt.

“Don’t you  _ ever _ string me along like that again,” he told Remus, voice breaking, making the werewolf go pale. “I don’t care how lonely you are, Remus. I don’t care how similar I am to Sirius. If you do not like me, if you are not romantically into me, do  _ not _ fucking kiss me. I don’t think you understand how much that hurt me, to know you were fucking using me. Do  _ not _ use me to fill an itch you happened to have at the moment. D-do  _ not _ ,” he covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes hard. “Fuck, I am  _ very _ fucking mad at you.”

“You ought to be,” Remus murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What I did… I’m very sorry, Elías. You didn’t deserve any of that. I apologize.”

“I don’t forgive you,” Elías told him, frowning deeply, taking a deep breath to calm down. “Not yet. And maybe not for a long time. But we’ve got things to do tonight and I need us to work together. So come on. Let’s go to my rooms and get everything we need.”

“Alright,” Remus said quietly, following after Elías as he began to walk to the Astronomy Tower. “I…”

“I really don’t want to hear it,” Elías said quietly, eyes closing for a moment. “I don’t -”

“At the very least,” Remus lifted the parchment, looking pained. “You must know… I do not think you’re ugly at all.”

“Oh my  _ Gods _ , are you being serious?” Elías laughed with disbelief, anger boiling.

“It’s a map we made when we were younger, the four of us,” Remus hastily explained, Elías looking ahead instead of him. If he did, he knew he’d given in. “Detailing the grounds of Hogwarts, how to get in and out -”

“Harry Potter was carrying that  _ around _ as if he knew Sirius was innocent,” Elías snapped, taking the parchment paper from Remus, gritting his teeth. “Stupid boy.  _ Stupid _ boy. He has a fucking deathwish, I tell you. I should’ve given him detention.”

“I agree,” Remus sighed. “It frustrates me that -”

“Remus, no offense, but I do  _ not _ want to hear more of you than I should’ve,” Elías clenched his jaw, seeing the entrance to the Astronomy Tower and climbing two by two. “I had an awful fucking day and I’m about to stay up all night to take care of the man whom you keep fucking confusing me with.”

“It’s not like th -”

“I stopped Severus from decking you,” Elías turned to him, glaring deeply, making Remus stop. “Do  _ not _ make me regret it. I’m angry enough as it is.”

“Sorry,” he croaked out quietly, strangled, and said nothing else.

Elías entered his bedroom and reached for the magical thermos, the medicine, the bandages, the enchanted cold pack, the blankets he’d taken, the coat and other things before stuffing them into a little tiny purse. It was his sister’s, that she’d forgotten during Christmas, but it was bigger on the inside and that was all that he needed, throwing it at Remus, the man scrambling to hold onto it.

“Alright, I think we’ve got everything,” Elías breathed in deeply, pulling the tie out of his hair so he could redo it, eyes closing. “Gods, and I’ve got a headache incoming. Fucking great. Let’s just go - I’ll get out of the tower as a cat and you’ll walk out with the excuse of the moon being too much. Severus won’t bump into you, I’m pretty sure, but if he does, just say you need to take a stroll or something.”

“Alright,” Remus replied quietly, looking at Elías with guilt in those green eyes -

Elías shifted, stretching his paws and pulling out his claws as his back arched, tail swishing. He strutted towards Remus, taking the purse from his hand with his teeth and then moved to the window, turning to the defense professor, who gave a nod before exiting his rooms, the two headed for the Shrieking Shack.

That night was also cold and Elías stayed in cat shape as they entered the tunnel under the willow, past the Dementors and the watching eyes of any other professor who might be out of bed. Remus was right after Elías, who dropped the purse various times before stubbornly biting into the fabric to lift it, hissing at Remus when he tried to get it.

“Alright, alright, you can have it,” Remus lifted his hands, stepping back, and Elías kept walking through the long, winding tunnel. It was good that he was in this shape - within it, he didn’t have to crouch to make it through the tunnel and he was more comfortable. Also, he didn’t have to dignify Remus with an answer to any remarks he made.

Finally, they reached the end and Remus got ahead, gently picking up Elías and setting him aside so he could reach the trapdoor. Elías made an annoyed cat noise but let it happen as Remus pushed the trapdoor open, cat swiftly jumping out of the hole and into the house before transforming back to Elías, rushing up the rickety stairs.

“Sirius, we’re back!” Elías called, hearing a wheezing cough and he felt panic seize him, hoping the man wasn’t in a too bad condition. “Sirius!”

He slammed the door open, eyes wide as he saw Sirius laying against the wall near a window, face colored with fever, eyes half shut, looking sick but smiling at him.

“Hi, angel,” he rasped before a coughing fit took over him and Elías ran over to kneel beside him, opening the purse to take out the thick blanket, putting it around him. “Hey, first you should take me to dinner.”

“My  _ Gods _ , shut up,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “If you wanna flirt, do it when you’re not half-dying, dude.”

“ _ Dude _ ,” Sirius laughed, raspy, coughing again as he clutched the blanket tightly. “That’s so funny. That’s  _ so _ funny.”

“Fuck off,” Elías shook his head, touching his forehead before sighing deeply. “Gods, you’re burning up. Why are you out of bed?”

“Crookshanks may like to sleep a lot. I, on the other hand -”

“Are an idiot, as we’ve already established,” Elías rolled his eyes, taking out the warm thermos. “Here - some soup. It has some hard boiled eggs, some jamón, shredded chicken, you name it. Enjoy it.”

“Oh,  _ Merlin _ ,” Sirius breathed, taking the thermos with wide eyes. “All for me?”

“Yes! Yes, of course!” Elías said, a bit sad, sitting down properly next to him. “Eat it slowly, though, okay? We need you to keep it in.”

“Alright,” he murmured, opening it and letting out a little sob-laugh. “Oh, it smells  _ so good _ .”

“Hope it tastes just as well,” Elías smiled, tapping his knee. “Give me your ankle - I brought a cold pack and bandages and I’ve broken enough bones to know how to do this.”

“It’s gone mostly numb,” Sirius explained, gently lifting his foot and Elías immediately got to work on it, pressing the cold pack around the inflated area. He didn’t notice Remus just standing by the door, watching, nearly having a panic attack - first came Sirius’ health. Then he’d deal with the rest. 

Crookshanks  _ did _ come over, moving to lay by Sirius’ feet and Elías pulled out a huge tuna can from the purse, opening it and setting it down for the cat to enjoy, immediately pressing his flat face to his food. Sirius gave a laugh, blowing on the bit of soup that he’d poured himself on the cap, leeching off the warmth from it.

“He’s been a good boy,” Elías smiled, poking and prodding at his ankle and Sirius winced.

“Yeah, and a good friend,” he sighed. “Keeping me company and all. Ouch!”

“I think it’s twisted, not broken,” Elías sighed, moving so that his ankle lay on his lap for easier access. “That’s… fine, but it’ll be a bit of a bitch to heal. Just make sure you don’t put any more pressure on it. After we figure everything out and catch that rat bastard, we’ll get you some proper healing.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius murmured, taking a slow sip before his eyes widened. “Bloody fucking  _ hell _ , this is -”

“Ma’s recipe. I know,” Elías laughed. “It’s so good.”

“I’m gonna cry,” Sirius mumbled but soon busied himself by taking small sips. “You’re an angel. You’re an  _ angel _ .”

“More eating, less talking,” Elías chuckled. 

“Mhmm, mhmm,” the man nodded, doing just so and Elías busied himself with his ankle, working on the ointment that he’d also brought with him. 

It was as he finished the bandage when Remus stepped closer, making Sirius frown and look up - and almost drop the thermos, eyes wide, jaw dropping.

“Hello, Sirius,” Remus said quietly.

“Moony,” Sirius breathed and Elías looked over at the last heir of the Black House, seeing the happiness, the sadness, the guilt and the relief, all those years of regret. Elías felt suddenly like he was intruding into something deeply personal and he gently put Sirius’ bandaged foot down, standing, picking up Crookshanks.

“I think I’ll wait outside,” he told them both softly and Remus’ panicked eyes went to his but Elías was a bit tired of helping others at the expense of his own comfort, so he walked out and closed the door, leaning back against it, eyes falling shut.

Crookshanks meowed as Elías breathed in and out, trying to calm himself from the onslaught of emotion that suddenly took over him. 

“It’s okay, boy,” he whispered, petting Crookshanks, trying to calm himself, eyes burning. “It’s alright. I’m alright. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Elías pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, gently dabbing at the caked tuna on Crookshank’s nose and whiskers, the cat lazily lounging in the arm around him and Elías focused on that instead of the muffled voices behind the door. It wasn’t Sirius’ fault, what happened this morning. If anything, Sirius was the  _ least _ to blame in any of this. 

It was Remus’ and Elías’ fault. And it wasn’t fair for Elías to be jealous of whatever was going on there - it’d been years apart, years where lies had been spread, years where everyone was mad at each other for the wrong reasons. Remus and Sirius would make up, they’d go back to how they’d been - or be even better than before - and Elías would watch Remus slowly drift away from him because of it.

He had Sirius now - the real one. Why would he bother with Elías now?

“ _ Mmmrreow _ ,” Crookshanks insisted as Elías held back a little sob, both arms around the cat, hoping his warmth and purring would soothe him.

“S-sorry, Crookshanks,” Elías sniffled so very quietly. “I-I just got something i-in my eye…”

The cat, bless him, leaned up and with his stinky tongue brushed Elías’ jaw, making him laugh wetly, rubbing him between his ears, his purring getting louder. What a sweet little beast. Elías liked him very much.

“Hermione misses you, you know,” Elías told him softly. “I get that you can go with Sirius during classes, it’s very important that you keep him company - but I’d rather you also visit her, you know? She loves you very much.”

“ _ Mrrr _ ,” the other chirped, rubbing against Elías’ jaw and the Slytherin sighed a bit, moving to sit on the stairs, letting Crookshanks loaf up on his lap, petting him gently.

“Let’s just wait for them to finish making up, I guess,” he told the cat.

* * *

It didn’t take much - it seemed like much but it was only because Elías was overthinking things. He played a bit with Crookshanks, though the cat mostly wanted to laze on top of Elías, paws up, pink toe beans on display for Elías to cry about. They were perfect and Crookshanks was perfect and Elías was very fond of this cat now, his mood a bit lifted thanks to him.

Finally, the door opened and Elías looked up to see Remus, his eyes a bit red but a small smile on his lips. Elías stood, putting the cat in his arms without a word, passing by him to enter the room where Sirius was finally resting on the mattress, leg propped up.

“All good?” he asked Sirius, smiling, arms crossing. “Told you he wouldn’t deck you.”

“He nearly did,” Sirius laughed, patting the side of the bed and Remus and Elías took seats nearby him as he put away the thermos. 

“Did you take the medicine?” Elías asked, pulling out the purse to see if he’d forgotten anything else.

“Yes, I did,” Sirius nodded, giving him a lopsided grin. “You’re like a mother hen.”

“Ha ha, sorry I don’t want you to  _ die _ ,” Elías rolled his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“A thousand times better,” he confessed, sighing softly, eyes moving to Remus. “Just - a lot better. Did you guys have any problems coming here?”

“Not really, just a couple of Dementors that we managed to avoid,” Remus explained, putting Crookshanks on Sirius’ lap, the cat nuzzling the man’s dirty hand before jumping away, back to his big tuna can. “Biggest problem was finding Harry with  _ this _ .”

He dropped the supposed map on Sirius’ hand, his face lighting up as if it were Christmas morning. Elías leaned in, curious as to how to reveal it.

“No way!” Sirius laughed loudly, taking the old piece of parchment like a relic. “Where did he find this?! That’s brilliant! He must’ve taken it from Filch’s office! Fucking -  _ he’s like us! _ ”

“I’d hope not,” Remus pursed his lips a bit. “We uh, insulted Elías.”

“You insulted my height,” Elías pointed out, cocking an eyebrow, but he giggled when Sirius burst out laughing. “All of you pretty much just tore one open in front of Severus and Harry, so - that was fun. Severus almost punched the shit out of Remus when he appeared.”

“I honestly do deserve it,” Remus sighed and Sirius frowned. “It’s uh - a long story.”

“Remus was a dick to me this morning, that’s all you need to know,” Elías said dryly. “I’m really fucking angry at him. That’s the context of the day. Moving on - the map. You guys made this back in Hogwarts?”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “It was mostly Peter and Remus but James and I found all the secret entrances of Hogwarts, all the hidden nooks and crannies,” he grinned. “And we thought that after our time at Hogwarts was done, we’d hand this over to another group of mischief makers, of marauders, friends who would die for each other and stand hand-in-hand to play pranks on the entirety of the student body.”

“That didn’t turn out exactly as we planned,” Remus said softly, sighing.

“Pettigrew fucking betrayed us, but we’re still Marauders,” Sirius told Remus, hand moving to his shoulder, the werewolf looking up at his best friend with wide, caught eyes. “You and me - we’ve still got this map. And our memories of James. Prongs would’ve wanted this map to be Harry’s.”

“I don’t know, Padfoot,” Remus laughed quietly, sadly. “Kid’s reckless.”

“Good,” Sirius grinned widely, his entire face lighting up. “Then he deserves the map.”

“Hold on,  _ hold on _ ,” Elías said, snatching the parchment from them both, the two men looking caught. “Are you both  _ insane _ ? No way are you going to give this to Harry! He’s angry, he’s thirteen, he thinks  _ you killed his parents _ ! He’s looking for you, I am  _ not _ allowing you two to give him the map back, not until he knows the truth!”

“Then let’s tell him the truth,” Sirius threw back.

“No,” Elías slapped the top of his head gently with the map. “You’re both insane. You’ve no idea about teenagers, huh? Harry’s going to tell his friends - Hermione and Ron. And the moment they do, they’ll be obvious about looking for Peter, not Scabbers. Pettigrew  _ cannot know _ that we know he’s Scabbers. It’s integral to him coming back to Ron.”

“So what, we just let him think I killed Lily and James?” Sirius asked, looking hurt.

“For now? I’m sorry, but  _ yes _ . Our priority is to catch Pettigrew. If he’s in rat form, he’ll be harder to hunt down,” Elías sighed. 

“We could use the map ourselves, for it,” Remus suggested.

“Yes, but the names only appear when they’re explicitly within the castle,” Sirius replied.

“Wait, wait,  _ you can track people _ ?” Elías asked, eyes wide, looking down at the blank parchment. “What the -  _ you guys did this when?! _ ”

“Fourth Year,” Remus replied. “Beginning of it. We’d planned it over the summer.”

“Oh my  _ Gods _ ,” Elías threw a hand at his hand, running his fingers through it, incredulous. “That’s  _ insane _ . Remus!”

“We were invested in these pranks,” he flushed, laughing a bit. “And we kept getting caught so we thought of a plan to avoid Professor McGonagall.”

“That’s the only thing you used it for?” Elías asked, cocking an eyebrow at them both, unimpressed. “You mean to tell me that four fourteen year old boys made this map and used it only not to get caught?”

“I admit,” Sirius raised his hand a bit. “That I also used it to avoid Alaine Greengrass in Sixth Year. That woman was  _ restless _ .”

“Oh, Merlin, I forgot about that,” Remus laughed, rubbing his face, shaking his head. “I never knew what you  _ did _ -”

“She was  _ obsessed _ !” Sirius raised his hands, eyes wide. “I promise I did nothing! It was after that game, the one we won? I knocked Mulciber off his broom and we got to score enough to win that game, remember?”

“Yeah, you gave him a concussion,” Remus grinned. “And he almost pushed you off the Astronomy Tower during class.”

“Well, she just - appeared in the locker room and was  _ intent _ on dating me. I  _ swear _ that I didn’t even know who she was until she introduced herself -”

“You  _ are _ very flirty, though, she could’ve taken it the wrong way,” Elías pointed out.

“She followed him  _ everywhere _ , though,” Remus retorted, snorting. “He ended up using the map obsessively to avoid her. That’s how it ended in Filch’s office, by the end of Sixth Year.”

“A shame,” Sirius sighed. “But our pranking days were over by then.”

“Yes, they quite were,” Remus said quietly.

A miserable silence took over after that and Elías quickly solved it by dropping the map onto Sirius’ lap, eyebrows raising.

“Alright. Show me how to read it,” he told him.

“Easy,” he smiled, hand lifting. “I, er… need your wand.”

“Good luck,” Elías said dryly, giving him his long wand, making Sirius blink at it. “It’s not willing to work with anyone who’s not me.”

“Is this a Castañeda wand?” Sirius asked, looking at it. “Runes all over it… Divination?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, smiling a bit. “Yes and yes - it’s a very picky wand, though. Doesn’t work well with other people. It’s got thestral hair for the core, so good luck trying to make it obey you.”

“You’re joking,” Sirius laughed, looking at the shape of the handle. “That’s  _ beautiful _ , though. I’ve never seen a Spanish wand so close. There was a family friend who had one, though, with Transfiguration runes. Turns out his magic was attuned to it.”

“So is mine - with Divination, I mean,” Elías explained. “As I said before, after I broke your nose, I’m a Seer.”

“I do remember that,” he hummed, coughing a bit into his elbow before nodding, swirling the wand a bit. “I missed doing magic,” Sirius said softly.

“Go for it, then,” Elías smiled, watching him.

“Alright,” Sirius breathed in, eyes closing before flicking his wand at the parchment.

It didn’t move.

“Fucking -” Sirius laughed, looking at Elías’ wand. “That’s stupid!”

“Give it back, it doesn’t like you,” Elías laughed, taking back his wand as Remus gave his to Sirius’, the man sighing with relief. 

“Better?” Remus chuckled.

“For sure, this one knows me,” Sirius laughed, making the parchment float easily, a smile on his face. “Alright! So -  _ I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good _ .”

With that, ink bloomed on the parchment and Elías watched with fascination as the cover came through - the nicknames of their childhood; Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail. Elías felt a bit closer to James as he gently took the map, unfolding it, eyes wide as he saw all the names plastered on it. He saw McGonagall in her rooms, Dumbledore in his office still, the names of his favorite Slytherin students in their beds. He searched for Harry, blessedly found him in bed and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

“This is incredible,” Elías murmured, fascinated, looking around the castle. “There’s entrances and little tunnels that I never knew were there.”

“So have been blocked by Filch,” Sirius explained. “But not the hunched statue.”

“Shite -  _ Merlin _ , that’s how you got inside!” Remus gasped. “I didn’t remember that one!”

“That’s where?” Elías asked and Sirius pointed at a hallway near the Astronomy Tower. “Ah, that’s why you got cornered in my rooms.”

“I am  _ so sorry _ I attacked you,” Sirius told him, giving a little grin.

“I am not sorry I broke your nose,” Elías replied, making him laugh and Remus chuckle. “How do you feel, Sirius? You look much better already.”

“I really do feel so much better,” he told Elías, a bit more serious, his hand moving to Elías’ shoulder, squeezing. “Thanks, angel.”

“Oh, no, is that going to stick?” Elías asked, dreading it already.

“Yes, it is,” he grinned widely. “Look, you’ve saved my life… twice? Twice already?”

“Not your  _ life _ ,” Elías replied, recoiling a bit. “Just helped you.”

“I think I pretty much would’ve died in the Forbidden Forest, though,” Sirius pursed his lips, wincing. “If not from the cold, from illness or just from any other creature.”

“We’ve got Crookshanks to thank for that,” he waved to the fat cat, licking at his face, the entire can empty. “You ate it all?!” Elías gasped, rushing to Crookshanks, lifting his little head. The cat gave a miserable meow and Elías laughed. “You idiot! You weren’t supposed to eat it all in one sitting! You’ll be sick now! You fat little beast! Aw, come here,” he laughed, gently picking him up, bringing him to the mattress as Sirius laughed wildly and Remus shook his head. “He’s a menace. I love him.”

“I love him, too,” Sirius pet the furry ball, nudging his head to Remus. “Moony  _ does not _ get along with cats.”

“They hate me,” Remus defended.

“Nah, you just don’t know how to communicate with them,” Sirius told him and Elías snorted, finding the irony hilarious.

“I quite agree,” he said dryly, making Remus flush and Sirius glanced between the two of them before suddenly sitting up.

“So,” he began, giving a small grin full of mischief, Elías dreading what was about to come from his mouth. “Since when do you two know each other?”

“September,” Remus explained, leaning back against the rickety post of what used to be a four poster bed. “We both started working at Hogwarts this school year.”

“Ah, I see,” Sirius hummed, turning to Elías. “And you two get along real well.”

“Most of the time,” Elías replied, letting Crookshanks climb onto his leg and rub against his side.

“Oof, Moony, what did you do?” Sirius laughed, making Remus glance away, uncomfortable. “Alright, alright, I won’t pry,” Sirius told them both, smirking a bit. “But I sense something, hmm?”

“Sirius?” Elías asked calmly, making the man turn to him. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” he chuckled, leaning back. 

Elías rolled his eyes, grabbing the map again, looking at the hallways before he found his tower and - Severus was there. Not inside his rooms but standing outside, making his breath hitch. Remus and Sirius looked over at the sound, following his eyes and Elías quickly closed the map, flushing, putting it aside.

“Well, if you’ve got everything you need,” he cleared his throat, standing. “We should probably leave.”

“Already?” Sirius asked quietly.

“Well, Remus can stay, but I’ve got a lot of things to do tomorrow. I need some sleep,” Elías replied, running a hand through his hair, sighing. “Sorry, Sirius.”

“You’re still going to the Malfoy Manor?” Remus asked and Sirius’ eyes widened.

“Wait, what?!” he asked, confused. “What - what could you  _ possibly _ have to do in that -”

“Narcissa invited me for tea,” Elías replied, making Sirius’ expression change, his eyes roaming Elías. He was so easy to read, compared to Severus or even Remus. Elías could tell that his affection for Narcissa was fighting his distrust of Lucius Malfoy. “No worries,” he said lightly, just to be a little shit. “Severus is coming with me.”

“What the  _ fuck _ kind of friends do you have?” Sirius asked, distrusting now, frowning. “How can you be around Deatheaters?”

“I can be because they invited me,” he cocked an eyebrow. “There is no Voldemort, Sirius. Not for now. And if I can help them see that muggleborns are just  _ normal people _ , then I’ll take that chance. Demonizing the other side is what you want for wartime propaganda, not for real changes. If you want a black and white view, go for Dumbledore,  _ not _ for me.”

With that, he shifted into cat form and grabbed the purse, starting to walk out of the Shrieking Shack, Crookshanks in tow. He was a bit slower, probably after all that tuna, but Elías didn’t mind. The two of them walked through the tunnel calmly, silently, and Elías felt his paws finally touch grass, climbing out of the passage, Crookshanks biting on that knot for the Whomping Willow to relax. When the two finally got to the castle, Elías took Crookshanks into his arms, rushing a bit to his tower, wondering if Severus was still there. Not likely but - he hoped he was. If only to talk about what happened with Harry before.

Severus wasn’t in his tower, in front of his door, but he was exiting it when Elías got there, eyes widening, rushing to him. “Sev!” he called, making them man pause, startled, turning to Elías with a frown.

“You’re… not in your rooms?” he asked, confused. “What are you - whose cat is that?”

“Hermione Granger’s,” he explained, thinking of a quick excuse. “I saw him and I’ve been chasing him for over an hour. Tomorrow I can give him back to her. Say hi to Sev, Crookshanks!”

He lifted the cat, who meowed lowly at Severus, the potions master watching the beast for a moment before he lifted the cat’s head a little bit up. “This is not a full cat,” he stated.

“Probably not,” Elías shrugged, holding him close. “But he’s great. And Hermione has been looking for him for ages. So here I am. Hi. You were a huge dickhead to Harry back there.”

Severus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “He dares -”

“I don’t care what he does,” Elías replied, firm. “You don’t bring up his  _ dead father _ to insult him, and also insult the kid. What the fuck does James Potter have to do with the kid staying out at night?  _ Nothing _ . Because Harry was  _ one year old _ when he was orphaned. Do you understand how shitty it was, your attitude?”

Severus pursed his lips, looking away but Elías stepped closer, taking his chin and forcing him to look at Elías in the eye, the two standing closer, Crookshanks’ paw catching on Severus’ tunic.

“Do you understand?” Elías pressed.

“...yes,” he replied slowly, looking in pain at the admittance. “I do think -”

“I don’t care how James was. He could’ve been a saint or a shithead for all I care,” Elías told Severus with a deep frown. “But I don’t think you’re the same as your father, are you?”

The reaction that got him told Elías a lot about Severus’ father and his relationship with him. Severus’ face turned from horrified to furious to guilty, and then went blank again.

“No,” he said quietly. “No, I am not.”

“Good,” Elías let his chin go, stepping back. “Harry Potter isn’t, either, as much as he looks like him. So it’d do you well to stop mocking his  _ dead _ father. He’s thirteen. You’re thirty three, Severus. Have some fucking maturity,” Elías scolded and Severus had the sense to look slightly ashamed. “I’m quite mad at you for that but - if you’ve learned your lesson, we’ll eventually know.”

“If you knew his father -”

“But I can’t,” Elías replied, making Severus go quiet. “Again, because he - is -  _ dead _ . So stop yelling and bullying an orphan just because his dad was mean to you in High School.  _ You _ were mean to me in High School, and here I am.”

“That’s because you’re a heart,” Severus scowled.

“Well, so do you,” Elías slapped his chest with the back of his hand, glaring a bit. “Own up to it, Sev. Don’t pretend to care halfway. If you’re focused on changing, it’s not just to deconstruct yourself - it’s to get over things that still hurt you. It’s for  _ your own good _ . Alright?”

Severus sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair and Elías felt his heart rate pick up as it got out of his face, showing his ja -

_ Not the time to be queer as shit, Elías _ , his mind supplied.

“Alright,” Severus bit out, looking at Elías with a deep frown, annoyed. “The things I do for you -”

“You should do them  _ for you _ ,” Elías cut in, gently - softly. He moved closer, blues on black. “Honestly, Severus. Do them for  _ you _ . Not for me. This is so you can live… happy. At peace, you know?”

“Right,” he murmured, a bit caught off guard by that, apparently.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” Elías rubbed his nose, changing his grip on Crookshanks. 

“You may come to my office at four thirty,” Severus told him, making Elías nod. “I have a direct floo line with the Manor. Narcissa will be expecting us at ten.”

“Okay,” Elías sighed, nodding, kissing the top of Crookshanks’ head as he got restless. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. And I suggest you think about apologizing to Harry Potter -”

“You’re going too fast,” Severus growled, walking off, making Elías roll his eyes.

“One day, Crookshanks,” Elías told the friendly beast. “One d -”

The cat threw up all over his shirt and Elías sighed deeply, watching the stairs he had to climb back to his rooms. What a day he’d had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://discord.gg/R6GtxzX !!! Join us!


	37. The Malfoy Manor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a whooping 13k, Jesus CHRIST. I just COULDN'T STOP WRITING.
> 
> Trigger warnings for  
> \- Discussions of child abuse  
> \- Discussions of murder
> 
> Join the Discord! Have some fun! Yell at me about Slytherins! https://discord.gg/R6GtxzX

Breakfast was the only reason Elías got out of the bed when the morning came, groaning loudly against his pillow as Crookshanks’ heat soaked into his back. The little beast had slept there, curled up on the small of his back all night. Of course. He had to push the cat onto his bed, cover him up to keep that warmth he liked, move to the showers, come back to fix his hair because he forgot to bring his products in and then, finally, pick Crookshanks up and walk to the Great Hall, where hopefully Hermione was.

As he entered the Great Hall, he saw her immediately - leaning over some books, Harry next to her, Neville and Seamus in front. Elías gathered the looks of a few nearby students but not Hermione’s, forcing him to move between tables and stop right beside her, Harry nudging her side.

“What?” she asked, exhausted, and Harry pointed at Elías, making her turn around and gasp. “Crookshanks! Oh my God!”

“Here you go,” Elías sighed, setting the cat in her arms. “Saw him last night and chased him for over an hour. Hopefully, I had a good talk with him and he won’t be escaping much anymore, hmm?”

“Thank you so  _ much _ , Professor Fernández!” she gasped, her bright smile making Elías turn a bit tender. Children had always been a weakness of his.

“Of course,” he replied, glancing over at Harry. “Now, Harry, could I have a private word with you? Just for a moment.”

His friends all turned to look at Harry, eyes wide, and Harry gave a little tight nod before following Elías out of the Great Hall, passing by some Hufflepuffs that waved at Elías. He waved back politely, getting Harry into a deserted hallway before rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Now, I wanted to talk to you,” Elías began. “About… yesterday. All of yesterday.”

“Nothing happened yesterday, sir,” the kid said, very smartly, making Elías laugh.

“Not fooling me, Mr Potter,” he chuckled. “Just… did you tell anyone what you saw in the morning? With… Professor Lupin?”

“No,” he said quickly. Too quickly. Elías cocked an eyebrow. “...just Ron and Hermione, sir. That’s all. I promise I didn’t spread any gossip.”

“Thank you,” Elías sighed with relief, rubbing the back of his neck. “Whatever you three think… it’s really not like that. Don’t ah, get any ideas,” he told the kid.

Harry hesitated, looking behind him to make sure there was no one else before saying, “But… I mean, everyone’s been talking -”

“Gossip very often is not true, Harry,” Elías cut in before he could begin, aware now that people were talking about him and Remus. Great. “There is nothing there. Yesterday morning was a simple misunderstanding, is all. And I hope you’ve learned your lesson from last night.”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded at that, looking at his shoes. “Professor?”

“Yes?” Elías asked, sensing that he was about to say something important.

“I…” he frowned before looking up. “Thank you for defending my father, sir. Professor Snape hates me because of him, though I don’t… really know why. He’s always saying mean things about him and - and you’re the only one who’s ever told him to stop. I know he’s your friend and - and I know it takes a lot of courage to stop your friends from doing stupid stuff so… thank you, sir.”

Elías blinked, surprised at the spiel. He gave Harry a little smile, approaching him, hand moving to his hair to ruffle it, making Harry scrunch up his nose.

“When people are wrong,” he began, looking at Harry in the eye. “No matter who they are? You must call them out on it. That’s the only way to cut things at the root. Giving people leeway when they’re mean only means that they get away with behavior that isn’t  _ good _ . I was doing it for you, but also for Professor Snape. It’s time that we changed some things around here.”

“You already did,” Harry said, making Elías pause, confused. “Nott apologized to Hermione. And after dinner, Parkinson and Crabbe did as well.”

“Oh,” Elías breathed, his heart bursting with happiness, feeling his knees go weak. “They… they apologized?”

“For calling her a - well, you know,” Harry told him, nodding. “I know Nott likes you, and… you got Hermione’s cat back. Even if he  _ did _ try and eat Scabbers. But uh - yeah, just… thanks. For talking to Nott. And getting Hermione’s cat. And… standing up to Professor Snape.”

“You’re welcome,” Elías said quietly, giving him a small smile, eyes burning. “Go off. To breakfast. And don’t get into more trouble, hmm? I should’ve given you detention for that stunt you pulled off last night.”

Harry quickly turned around, eyes wide, walking off, “Bye, professor!”

“Stay in bed after curfew, Potter!” Elías scolded, laughing, rubbing a hand over his face and leaning against the wall. He felt his hands shake and he looked at them, giving out a hysterical little laugh that he quickly covered with his hands, unable to believe what Harry had just told him. They’d apologized -  _ apologized _ . And Theodore had been the first to step up. Had it been after his detention or before? What had changed for him to do it? Had it truly been Elías or was it mostly the cut he’d inflicted on his hand? 

It didn’t  _ matter now _ , though. Because there  _ had _ been a change. Someone had changed because of him, fuck,  _ shit _ , he’d  _ done something _ .

Elías took deep breaths, trying to calm himself, eyes closing, running a hand through his hair before he stood straight, grinning to himself. What a great way to start his day.

He entered the Great Hall, looking over at the Slytherin table only to find the group of Slytherins waving at him, making him grin, waving back. They went back to their breakfast, all of them talking about something or other with enthusiasm before Draco slapped a book out of Blaise’s hands and the two kids began to grapple, Draco laughing loudly. 

“Good morning,” Elías beamed at the staff table, and he got soft replies as he sat down next to Severus, grinning at him.

“You look better,” Severus stated without glancing away from his breakfast. 

“I had a good dinner last night,” Elías shrugged, serving himself some coffee and Severus smirked into his goblet, confusing Septima, who sat next to the potions master. 

“I didn’t see you at dinner,” she said.

“Mhmm,” Elías shrugged, chuckling. “I had Italian.”

“Good for you,” she laughed. “We had casserole. And not a good one.”

“Well, now I’m extra happy that I missed dinner,” Elías stated, and Severus almost  _ smiled _ . He saw the curl of his lips and Elías leaned towards him, whispering, “Have you apologized to Harry?”

“Yes, of course,” he said dryly. “Right after dancing the jitterbug in the courtyard.”

“How could I forget?” Elías shook his head, amused despite the sass. “Alright. I understand that it’ll take time but I truly think it’s the correct thing to do, Sev.”

“Are you ready for tea?” he asked instead, changing the subject and Elías nodded, grabbing a toast and biting into it after he’d topped it with peach marmalade. 

“Yes,” he said once he’d swallowed. “I don’t quite know what to expect but… I only hope they like me enough,” he confessed, a bit nervous.

“Narcissa will adore you,” Severus scoffed. “Lucius? I don’t quite know. He can be a bit… cold, sometimes.”

“So it seems,” Elías murmured, licking the juncture of his thumb and index where he’d dropped some marmalade and reaching for his coffee. “Honestly, all I want is to talk to Narcissa. I’ve heard and Seen great things of her.”

“Oh?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “Also, I want to check on my Amortentia today, so would you mind if I came with you to the Dungeons after breakfast?” Elías asked.

“I don’t mind,” Severus replied, nodding. “It’s coming along nicely. You did well with the sugar amount, it’s nearly perfect.”

“Nearly perfect isn’t perfect,” Elías sighed, only to have his forehead flicked by Severus. “Ow! Would you  _ stop _ that?” he laughed, rubbing his forehead.

“Don’t expect so much. You haven’t even done Advanced Potions II,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

“Am I gonna do that, too?” Elías’ eyes widened.

“Do you want to?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow and Elías grinned widely in lieu of an answer, making him chuckle lowly. “Thought so.”

“You’re  _ bribing me _ ,” Elías suddenly realized, incredulous, watching Severus smirk into his goblet. “I can’t  _ believe _ that you’d bribe me with brewing potions, Professor Snape.”

“Not hard to,” he replied, glancing over at him. “I can read your face so easily. I mention potions and immediately your pupils go wide. It’s like you’re always in your cat shape.”

Elías flushed, laughing, busying himself with his cup of coffee. The fact that Severus could read him so easily made him feel both warm and cold inside. He didn’t like to be an open book, even though everyone knew he was one. But also… Severus had learned to interpret these things, had learned his language. That was nice. To be known.

“In any case, I want to check on it, make sure it’s going well to my standards,” Elías replied, then paused. “Also, I’ve nothing better to do, to be honest.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm,” Elías finished up the sunny side up egg he’d slipped over his plate, enjoying the yolk. “And I enjoy my time with you, anyway. So I think I’ll bother you.”

Severus just rolled his eyes but Elías saw the amusement, making him grin widely. Once the two were done with breakfast, Elías stood after Severus, walking out of the staff table, passing by the center of the House tables, a ringing starting to crescendo in Elías’ ear.

“Hey, Sev?” Elías asked as they climbed down the podium at the end of the Great Hall.

“Yes?” he asked, tunic billowing behind him.

“I’m about to have a Sight,” he breathed, vision turning fuzzy and Severus snapped his head towards Elías, eyes wide. 

“ _ Elia - _ ”

The world went dark.

* * *

“Jesus  _ Christ _ , my neck,” Elías groaned as he blinked his eyes open, a bunch of students surrounding him in the Great Hall still, the first face he saw being Severus -

Severus was holding him. Arms around his waist, tilting his head, eyes stormy with worry and Elías blinked to try and get rid of the flashes he’d seen as Dumbledore tried and dispersed the crowd, the students all looking at Elías with concern.

“Elías, can you see me?” Severus asked, hand moving to hold his jaw and  _ fuck _ , Elías was too dizzy for this, everyone was watching him, this wasn’t  _ fair _ .

“I can,” he croaked, hand raising to his own head, moaning lowly. “Gods, that was bad. I really do need to check my sugar - sorry, everyone,” he told the students with a small smile. 

“Are you alright, professor?” a First Year Slytherin asked, her eyes moving between Severus and him. “You fell right down!”

“I’m alright, Ophelia, I’m okay,” he promised, Severus helping him up, one of his hands - fuck, shit,  _ fuck _ \- one of his hands moving to grip his waist, letting Elías lean into his weight. “I just need a little pick-up.”

“Can you walk?” Dumbledore asked, a few others in the staff watching him worriedly.

“I can, I can - don’t worry,” Elías assured. “Just… small fainting spell. Nothing special,” he told him, saying nothing and everything with it, Dumbledore nodding before stepping back, letting Severus start guiding him out of the Great Hall, scowling at anyone who dared be in his path. “Slow down,” Elías begged quietly, head spinning. “Fuck, that was a small but intense one, I’m having trouble breathing -”

“Just let me get you out of sight -” Severus turned to the right, out of the view of most of the students and staff before lifting Elías up in his arms, making the man squeak, eyes wide, scrambling to grab around his neck.

“Severus!” Elías cried out, head pounding.

“It’s  _ faster  _ this way and I need to get you to Pomfrey,” the potions professor grunted, effortlessly carrying Elías, one arm under his knees and another around his shoulders. Elías felt his face go a deep red and maybe he would’ve felt dysphoric if it wasn’t for the fact that  _ holy shit, Severus was so fucking strong _ .

“How - how the  _ hell _ are you -” Elías stuttered, spluttering as Severus’ steps echoed through the halls, a few students walking by gaping at the sight, making Elías quickly hide his face on Severus’ shoulder, his face  _ burning _ .

“I’m a  _ potions master _ ,” Severus replied dryly. “You truly think I haul full cauldrons around without care?”

“You’re a  _ wizard _ ,” Elías squeaked.

“You can’t do everything with magic, it makes you weaker without a wand,” Severus sighed deeply, frowning. “I carry my cauldrons and break ingredients I need with my hands. Potions requires a lot of strength, memory, stamina and patience, Elías.”

Elías gave a nervous giggle at the word  _ stamina _ and what it conjured in his mind, feeling his heart, his lungs, his entire fucking  _ insides _ to melt. He had a problem. He had  _ such _ a big problem and his headache was only getting worse. At least the Sight had been a nice one.

“Alright,” he squeaked, eyes wide against Severus’ shoulder. “T-thanks.” 

Severus said nothing, carrying him across Hogwarts, through the courtyard to the Hospital Wing. Elías knew students were passing them - few of them, but  _ enough _ . This was so embarrassing, this was  _ so _ exorbitantly  _ decadent _ that he heard his own pulse roaring in his ears, trying to breathe. Not only did he have a stupid fucking crush on Remus, now he had to deal with a crush on  _ Severus _ of all people. This was bullshit. This was so fucking stupid.

Elías was going to spend tonight thinking about those arms, fucking  _ Christ _ .

When they finally arrived, Pomfrey was already scolding him, calling him all sorts of things that Elías was used to - not to hold back his Sights, to warn others before it happened, to drink copious amounts of water after one, to make sure to to get plenty of sleep. Elías had heard it all and he let it turn into background noise as Severus carefully set him down on one of the hospital beds, Elías hand around the back of his neck to support himself, still flushed from the whole experience.

“I want this to be the last time Severus brings you in!” Promfrey huffed, already checking on Elías, touching up his head.

“Wait, what?” Elías blinked, looking over at the potions master as he crossed his arms, nodding. “You were the one who brought me in those other times?”

“Yes!” Pomfrey nodded, glaring at him. “So won’t you give the man some rest?”

Elías flushed, embarrassed, looking down at his lap. “S-sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Severus said lowly, glancing at Pomfrey with slight annoyance. “Is he alright?”

“Seems like so,” she sighed. “No concussions this time.”

“Caught him in time,” Severus told her.

“It’s not like I can  _ help it _ ,” Elías told her but Pomfrey gave him a look that quickly shut him up. “I just - you know, they come so suddenly - I even warned Severus!”

“That he did,” the man admitted, nodding, stepping a bit closer and frowning at him. “But you’ve been having more of these fainting spells around Sights.”

“I’ve to hold the small ones back,” Elías said softly. “I’m  _ teaching _ . I can’t just - stare blankly at a wall for an hour, now, can I?”

“Maybe you should designate a time of your day to do it, then,” Severus told him, thoughtful. “Can you force them?”

“I can, but it… I’ve never done it without focusing on a specific thing I want to know,” Elías told him, sucking in a sharp breath. “So I wouldn’t know how to do that.”

“With a legilimens, perhaps,” Severus pointed out and Elías shook his head.

“ _ No _ ,” he stated firmly, making Severus sigh. “No, I refuse. Nobody’s going to be digging into my head, I already have  _ enough _ of these visions. No, fuck that.”

“Elías -”

“I  _ refuse _ ,” the Spaniard said firmly. “I’ll try and force them on Sundays, on weekends or something, but that’s  _ it _ . I will not have a legilimens just throwing spells at me. No.”

Severus looked frustrated but Elías really didn’t care at all. He was already easy to read, he didn’t want Severus to know every secret of his. It left him feeling naked, vulnerable, no matter if he trusted the man with certain things. He still didn’t trust him with others. He didn’t want to give  _ anyone _ the power to reach into his entrails and pull on them like strings on a puppet. That was exactly why he didn’t tell Dumbledore  _ shit _ anymore.

Elías stayed in the Hospital Wing only for fifteen more minutes before he was finally dismissed, having taken a foul-smelling potion that got rid of his headache and the leftover dizziness he felt. He walked beside Severus through the courtyard, a few students asking him about his well being, worries that Elías quickly calmed with a small smile while Severus loomed like a menacing shadow behind him.

The two eventually made it to the potions class, nice and cool, making Elías smile softly as he entered. Truly, this was a bit of a safe space, much like Remus’ classroom or his own, up at the top of the Astronomy Tower. He moved to Severus’ desk, hopping on it, sighing deeply as his eyes fell shut, head leaning back.

“What did you See?”

“Mm,” Elías hummed, eyes opening, watching the ceiling of the potions classroom. “You, actually.”

“Oh?” Severus asked but Elías could feel the tension from here.

“Mhmm, in the future,” he told Severus, turning to him, finding the other Slytherin now intensely staring at him. “Sometime soon, you and I will be at Beauxbatons.”

Severus blinked, startled, “What?” he asked.

“Beauxbatons. I could recognize those gardens anywhere,” Elías explained. “It was pleasant. Not really anything I could hear, I… could only hear the waves. Sometimes that happens - my vision was a bit fuzzy, like looking through a close, dirty lens?” he rubbed his jaw. “Anyway, I made you laugh in that Sight. I, apparently, keep making you laugh in the future. That’s a nice thought.”

“That’s it?” Severus asked, frowning, coming closer and leaning his hip against his desk, watching Elías. “But that’s nothing important.”

“Maybe it is important later to you or me,” Elías offered softly. “That’s subjective.”

“Why would we be at Beauxbatons?” Severus questioned.

“I dunno,” Elías shrugged, picking on a thread at the broken part of his jeans, at the knee. “Any number of reasons. It was nice. I think it was Winter, or close to Winter. My hair was  _ much _ shorter than it is now. And it was my natural color. I think we’ll be guided by that,” he laughed, but Severus looked pensive. “What? You really think all my Sights are something incredible and revealing?”

“But you  _ fainted _ ,” Severus pressed, frustration lacing every word.

“Yeah, I did,” Elías nodded, giving him a little tired smile. “It happens, Sev. It just is what it is. I’ve been living with this for a long,  _ long _ time. And nobody has - no other Seer has this thing that I do, at least no other that we’ve been able to track, so… yeah,” he shrugged. “I guess it’s a magical mutation of sorts.”

“Divination magic is so volatile and unpredictable,” Severus said, almost to himself, his voice a whisper. “So frustrating. So mystifying.”

“It’s not that mysterious,” Elías rolled his eyes. “People often glamorize it or tell me it’s this magical amazing gift. I think it’s annoying. And… and exhausting, to be honest.”

“Must be,” Severus pursed his lips. “If word got out that you could do this -”

“I know,” Elías murmured, watching the classroom with a soft sigh. “I only tell those that I trust will do no harm to me. You know because Dumbledore told you but… if you hadn’t known by now, I probably would’ve told you. At the very least, last night at dinner.”

Severus said nothing and Elías turned to him, finding the potioneer’s intense stare on him, making Elías’ face burn, looking away quickly.

“I trust you,” he mumbled, rubbing his nose. 

“I know,” Severus said, softer than Elías expected. “I… I am trying to come to terms with that trust. And learning to see what you… expect of me. As a friend.”

“I expect you to not do shitty things,” Elías rolled his eyes, turning to him again, much calmer. “...but I  _ am _ realistic. I know you won’t change from night to day, you know?”

“You  _ did _ ask me to apologize to Potter,” Severus scowled.

“I still think you should do it,” Elías pointed out. “But I also understand that it’ll take time, so - not scolding you for that. Just reminding you.”

“Thank you,” Severus said sarcastically but he stood up straight, adjusting his sleeves, making Elías glance at them - fuck those hands, nevermind. “Anything else in that Sight?”

“No,” Elías said honestly. “Just - you and me through the gardens. I think we were going somewhere, we were in a hurry. You… you looked happy, though.”

Severus paused, turning to Elías, frowning but Elías gave him a small smile.

“Happy,” he deadpanned.

“Yep,” Elías laughed, grinning. “You looked  _ happy _ .”

“How do you know?” Severus asked as he began to move towards his supply closet, Elías swinging his legs from his spot on the desk.

“You were smiling!”

“I don’t  _ smile _ .”

“You do! And you laugh, too!”

“Those are exceptions.”

“Alright. Let me clarify,” Elías laughed, giving him a grin. “You smile  _ for me _ .”

The sound of a cauldron falling made Elías quickly look over, seeing Severus scowl as he picked up a small brass one that had slipped from his grasp. Elías grinned, watching Severus stand and glare at Elías.

Elías waited. Severus did not deny it.

“Check your bloody Amortentia,” Severus ended up barking at him, making Elías stand and walk over to the slowly bubbling potion by the only dungeon window, under direct moonlight at night. Elías busied himself with it, testing the texture, thickness, smell and color.

Elías began to roll up his sleeves, unbuttoning the cuffs, letting his hair loose to retie it again before moving to the supply closet, picking up a pomegranate. Severus watched him curiously and nodded as he saw the fruit, handing Elías his own knife. How nice of him.

“Thank you,” Elías hummed, taking it, moving in front of his Amortentia just as a knock rang through the classroom. “Who’s that?”

“It’s Detention,” Severus replied, “Come in!”

The four Slytherins walked in, looking a bit fearful until they saw Elías, the Spaniard waving at them. Their faces immediately lit up and Severus cleared his throat, Elías laughing into the back of his hand at the annoyance he saw on Severus’ features.

“Do not mind Professor Fernández,” he told the Third Years, the four of them nodding quietly. “Pick up a broom each. Start sweeping. After that, the mop. I want these dungeons to  _ gleam _ after you lot are done with them. Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir,” they all chorused, rushing to the cleaning closet, probably already familiar with it and Elías winked at Vincent as he dared to look at him, earning a small smile.

“I think some music would be nice,” Elías told Severus, who glared at him.

“Do  _ not _ ,” he hissed, moving towards him, glancing at the golden cauldron. “Focus on your potion,  _ not _ the children.”

“But Severus, the music is for  _ me _ ,” he said innocently, fluttering his eyelashes at the man, earning another scowl. “Just a bit? Low. It won’t bother you.”

“You’re too lenient on them,” Severus picked up the other half of the pomegranate, easily pulling it apart,  _ accio _ ing a bowl to drop the buds in. “They’re here for a good reason.”

“Right, right,” Elías nodded, pulling an overly serious face, hearing Draco laugh only for Severus to glare at him, the four kids rapidly gripping the brooms and starting to sweep. “Alright. No music. We’ll just stand here in silence.”

“A bit of  _ silence _ won’t kill you,” Severus rolled his eyes.

“A bit of  _ fun _ won’t kill you, either,” Elías replied.

“You’re insufferable,” Severus murmured, frustrated as he finished his half, Elías still working on the fruit. “Why the pomegranate?”

“Seeds will absorb the gunk from the stone powder - thanks to the moonlight imbued in the potion - and when I strain this whole thing, it’ll just taste nicer and be cleaner, better quality,” Elías shrugged.

“It’ll make it more liquid,” Snape pointed out.

“Then on the last day, I’ll just let it simmer a bit more, it’s fine,” Elías replied.

“That may become a problem, though, if you let it caramelize,” Severus told him.

“It won’t caramelize because by then, I’ll have added some moondew,” Elías grinned, making Severus pause. “Enhances -”

“Lightheadedness, a feeling of euphoria,” he finished, watching Elías with almost a curl to his lips. “Not a normal ingredient. Most people don’t use it anymore, since -”

“I know, I know, we’ve the alihotsy leaves - but they’re too potent and they do not cool and stabilize the way  _ water _ itself does, so… yeah.”

“Moondew.”

“Moondew.”

“You’ve passed,” Severus told him, making Elías blink, turning fully to the potions professor with his heart jumping inside his ribcage. The four students paused as well, mouths open. “The three of them with an Outstanding. My, my, Mr Fernández. Who would’ve thought?”

Elías leaned back against one of the columns in the classroom, hand over his forehead, laughing hysterically for a moment before covering his mouth, watching Severus, the man dropping the pulps gently on the potion and stirring.

“You’re kidding, right? You’re  _ kidding _ ,” Elías breathed, rushing to Severus’ side. “I  _ passed _ ?!”

“You’ve passed,” he nodded, glancing over at him. “Congratulations.”

“Oh my  _ Gods _ ,” Elías turned around, punching the air for a moment, letting himself celebrate before turning back on his heels, face bright, eyes fierce and determined. “I’m still finishing this potion.”

“Wouldn’t expect nothing less,” Severus hummed.

“And after that, Advanced Potions II,” he added, taking the ladle from Severus and taking over, the man stepping back.

“Of course,” he cocked an eyebrow, watching Elías, the Spaniard setting the ladle aside before turning back to Severus, letting the potion sit. 

There was silence for a moment, Elías simply… grinning at Severus and then he let out a loud sound of happiness and threw himself at the potions professor, catching Severus off-guard, the man scrambling for footing as Elías hugged him tightly.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” he laughed, arms around his neck.

“ _ Elías! _ ” Severus hissed, pulling him away, face aflame. “We’re in  _ detention _ !”

“Right!” Elías laughed, stepping back, giggling hard. “Sorry, just - I got excited.”

“I could  _ tell _ ,” Severus growled, straightening his tunic and when Elías looked over at the students, they all returned to cleaning, as if they hadn’t been watching. “After your Amortentia is done, we can move on to Advanced Potions II. Every Friday at 8pm. As always.”

“As always,” Elías grinned, nodding, cleaning the ladle before starting to put everything he’d used away, also cleaning the blade of Severus’ knife, handing it back to him, Severus taking it without another word and moving back to his desk. “So… what are we doing for Advanced Potions II? Just so I can start getting ready.”

“Principles of alchemy,” Severus replied, making Elías’ eyes wide wide, his face a picture of excitement. “Thus, we will be working with the Oculus Potion, the Aging Potion and the Draught of Living Death.”

“Holy  _ shit _ ,” Elías breathed quietly, unable to stand still, his entire body tingling from the  _ need to brew already _ . “Oh my  _ Gods _ . I - I am  _ so _ excited. I am so happy. Severus -  _ Sev _ -”

“Calm yourself,” Severus seemed amused, hand moving to tap Elías’ nose, making the Spaniard laugh. “There is a lot that must go into these potions. We won’t be taking just a couple of months. This will be extended and hopefully, you’ll understand Alchemy after I’m through. I will not tolerate any silly mistakes or any distractions from you. You passed the first test, but will you be able to continue in  _ my _ class? I don’t want anything less than an Outstanding from you.”

Elías let his grin drop into something more subdued, more honest, and he nodded, his stomach still bubbling with happiness. So many years, this had been… a point of sadness and frustration and hatred and anxiety. He’d never been able to finish Advanced Potions and now he had an  _ Outstanding _ . He couldn’t believe it. Even if it wasn’t real, if it’d never be featured into his academic history, this still meant  _ a lot _ . He couldn’t believe it.

“Thank you,” Elías told him, genuine and soft, wishing he could just hug Severus tightly again. He was nice to hug anyway, with how tall he was. “I - just  _ thank you _ . I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you. Without your guidance. And patience.”

Severus watched him, everything around Elías fading a little bit as he slowly lifted his hand, approaching Elías’ face, making the Spaniard’s heart jump to his throat. Slowly, gently, Severus brushed a stray lock of Elías’ hair out of his eyes, finally meeting Elías’ blues with his black ones. Elías felt himself stop breathing.

“It was a pleasure,” he said, and meant it, and Elías died inside and felt himself come back to life in that moment, throat closing up, his face growing warmer. He couldn’t look away. Gods, he truly couldn’t and it wasn’t until one of the kids made a noise that Severus and Elías turned away from each other, watching Draco scramble to settle a cauldron back in place.

“Mr Malfoy,” Severus sighed deeply. “If it’s possible, I’d rather you clean this classroom without breaking all of the school equipment.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, quickly putting the cauldron back in place, thankfully a tiny one.

“That reminds me,” Elías turned to Severus, a bit quieter. “Dinner is still on tonight?”

“Depends on how long we’re at the Manor,” Severus replied. “But I’d wager yes. It’ll be a late dinner, though.”

“I don’t mind that at all,” Elías hummed.

“Very well,” Severus nodded.

“I have  _ the _ perfect dish to show off my cooking skills,” he grinned at Severus, leaning fully into his desk as the potions professor began to putter around the classroom, taking a very small cauldron and preparing the ingredients for what looked like a Calming Draught - a common potion that Elías was sure would be gifted to the Malfoys. “Do you enjoy duck and mushrooms?”

“Indeed,” he cocked an eyebrow.

“Then we’re good,” Elías grinned. “I say we go to my place this time.”

“To an unbelievably  _ hot _ climate? I’m inclined to disagree,” Severus made a face.

“Awww, come on! It’s not that bad,” Elías told him, reaching over for a spare knife and already preparing the bloodroot stems, splitting them in half and gently cutting out the inside meat. “You Brits are  _ soooo _ delicate.”

“Says the one who cries at the minimum,” Severus snorted, making Elías laugh.

“I’m  _ sensitive _ , Severus,” he told him, smiling widely at him as he filled the small pewter cauldron and turned on the fire with a tap of his wand, reaching for the Fluxweed oil. “Listen, I admit I cry about everything - you remember Crookshanks last night?”

“Yes,” he nodded, focused on his potion but with an ear open for Elías.

“Well, he has  _ the _ pinkest little toe beans,” Elías sucked in a sharp breath, eyes wide. “I saw them as I went to bed and cried about them. Physically. For fifteen minutes.”

Severus covered his face with a hand, shaking his head, apparently absolutely done with Elías as the Spaniard felt his voice shake a bit.

“Just -” he breathed, fingers moving to show the size of the beans. “This small! All pink! They were so cute, Severus, I had to hug him! His squished  _ face  _ \- I can’t do it, I love cats so much, I  _ love _ cats so much, they’re so  _ cute _ ,” he sobbed a bit and saw Severus’ shoulders shake. 

“You  _ cried _ over  _ cat paws _ ?” Severus’ voice sounded strained.

“Severus, this is important! There’s nothing more important than the toe beans of a cat!” Elías told him, dead serious. “If I see them, I cry. It’s a trigger, it just brings out the  _ tender _ in me! They’re… so  _ pink _ -”

Elías paused as he heard the noise Severus made, the man dropping his hand down slowly to grip the table and Elías watched his face, the way it was adorably scrunched up, tears in his eyes as he  _ wheezed with laughter _ . Elías began to laugh too, so dumbly, hand over his mouth as Severus tried to hold it all in, unable to. 

What a delightful trail of laughter, the one that Severus finally let out, his deep voice ringing through the dungeons along with Elías’, two professors just having a good laugh out of the stupidest fucking thing Elías had ever said. And he’d say a million stupider things just to hear it, just to see Severus grinning so widely, pressing a hand against his face, doubled over his desk, just…  _ laughing _ .

Elías laughed and laughed and laughed and Severus laughed and laughed and laughed to the point where the two had tears in their eyes, having to lean into the desk for support, looking at each other for a moment of silence before bursting into chortles again, Elías’ belly and face hurting by the time the two finally calmed down.

“You are,” Severus chuckled, brushing a tear away from his eye, shaking his head. “ _ The  _ stupidest and simultaneously the smartest man I’ve ever met. You’re  _ baffling _ .”

“Aww, I’m the smartest man you’ve ever met?” Elías giggled, leaning further into the desk, closer to Severus, who was - fuck, the man was just  _ smiling _ . No hiding. “That’s a huge fucking insult to all your friends, Sev, not a nice thing to say.”

“You’re smart. Not intelligent,  _ smart _ ,” Severus pointed out, poking his forehead, Elías sticking his tongue out at Severus. “There’s a difference. Can we finish this potion or are you going to tell me what else you absurdly cry about?”

“I am  _ so _ glad that you’ve asked,” Elías teased, making Severus chuckle. 

“I was being sarcastic, please, do  _ not _ ,” he reached for the stems and Elías offered them to him, dropped now into the small cauldron, Elías reaching for the top so he could cover it as Severus lowered the fire to a barely-there flame. 

“In any case, as I was saying,” Elías told Severus, chin resting on his hands, elbows on his desk, watching the potions master. “Tonight. My place. And I’m making rice with duck and mushrooms a la foie.”

“That sounds delightful,” Severus told him, honest, no sarcasm behind it and Elías felt his belly swoop. His morning was going wonderfully, put into perspective. The Harry talk, the Slytherins saying sorry, the nice vision, the Outstanding on Advanced Potions, and now he got Severus to truly laugh. Laugh out loud, in the open, truly and purely. Elías felt so accomplished - was this how a dose of  _ Felix Felicis _ felt? “Family recipe?” he asked.

“Neighbor recipe,” he explained with a hum as he saw Severus taking a dried griffin claw, breaking it with tight thumbs so he could get it to the mortar and crush it to a fine dust. “I had a neighbor back when we lived in Madrid - he is from País Vasco and he taught my pa how to make it? And  _ Gods _ , it was just  _ so good _ that I had to learn. Incredible recipe. And it goes well with red wine, too,” he grinned.

“I’ll bring the wine, then,” Severus said, cocking an eyebrow at Elías. “Do we have to buy the ingredients, then?”

“Yep,” Elías nodded. “I should actually get back home and take care of that, if anything. Meet you back here at four thirty to leave.”

“Very well,” Severus hummed, finishing with the claw before dropping some black salt on it, starting to crush it again. “I will see you later. Please, do  _ not _ faint again.”

“Pfff _ ha _ ,” Elías rolled his eyes, chuckling. “You got it.”

He stood straight, giving Severus one last grin before moving to the door, waving at the kids, who looked very very much like they’d been listening in the whole time. But - well, there were already rumors and Elías was past caring. 

“Don’t be too hard on them!” Elías called out, giving a small, encouraging smile to Theodore, who smiled right back, genuine and grateful.

* * *

Elías was out of his rooms by four, hair perfect, shirt without a wrinkle and his usual jewelry in place, all of it silver, lowering the stairs of the Astronomy Tower leisurely. He’d left his rooms early because he’d received a letter from his cousin Emilio and he was moving to the Fifth Floor, to Remus’ office, not looking forward to seeing him but definitely looking forward for some help in his letter to the Ministry of Magic’s CPS.

So he stepped into the classroom, finding it empty but music was coming from his office, so he began to climb up the stairs into it, lips pursed, ready for Remus’ disinterest and dismissal. He had Sirius back now, after all. Had no need for Elías -

No. Elías couldn’t focus on that. This was about Harry, not about himself.

Without knocking, Elías stepped into his office, wanting to assert confidence and establish some new rules in their… friendship. Or whatever was left of it. Remus looked up, startled, jumping a bit in his seat and he looked  _ awful _ , making Elías pause as the bubbling goblet in front of him sputtered. Tonight was a full moon. Shit. 

“What are you doing in your office?” Elías asked, frowning, arms crossing.

“I was… finishing some corrections for Monday,” Remus replied awkwardly and Elías pointed at the door, eyes narrowed.

“To the Shack. Now,” he said firmly, offering no exceptions, making Remus pause at the sound of authority in his voice. “ _ Remus, it’s four thirty _ .”

“Yes, yes, I - Merlin, is it?” he ran a hand through his hair, looking feverish. “I’ll be on my way, I just - is there something you need? You… probably came here for a reason.”

“I got a letter back from Emilio, describing the details of the case,” Elías lifted the letter, making Remus’ face turn serious. “I’ll present it this Monday afternoon with him. And in the morning I’ll talk to Dumbledore about what I’m doing.”

“Bold of you to warn him right before,” Remus whispered.

“It’s smart, not bold,” Elías retorted, turning around. “I just wanted you to know, that’s all. See you around -”

“Wait,  _ wait _ ,” Remus called, rushing to Elías, hand moving around his elbow and Elías shook it off, Remus’ fingers quickly dropping from his skin. “Sorry, I -”

“What?” Elías asked, a bit harshly but he really didn’t have the patience for him. 

“I’m sorry,” Remus began and Elías inhaled deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose, already turning around and walking away but Remus followed him. “Elías, I am  _ so _ stupid, you’ve no idea how bloody  _ stupid _ I feel -”

“Good!” Elías told him, turning to shove a hand at Remus’ chest, glaring. “Because you probably have no idea how fucking stupid  _ I _ felt when you told me you kissed me out of fucking  _ loneliness _ , Remus.”

The werewolf winced, opening his mouth before quickly shutting it, looking down at the floor instead of Elías and the Slytherin let out a deep sigh.

“Tell you something,” he began, pressing a finger to Remus’ chest, making him look into Elías’ blue eyes. “If you truly feel so fucking lonely, use your fucking hand and leave me the  _ fuck _ alone, hmm? I’m done with your self-deprecating shit, Remus.  _ Own up _ to what you’ve done.”

Elías walked out, furious that he felt his heart break at the sight of Remus on the verge of tears, moving out of the classroom bile in the back of his throat. He heard the door shut and didn’t look behind him, headed for the dungeons, folding the letter and saving it in his pocket as he breathed deeply to calm himself. Out of the pan and into the fire. Now came the Malfoy Manor. He wore his good boots, just in case.

Arriving at the dungeons, Elías knocked first on the door, taking a deep breath. Behind it, Severus opened up, and Elías blinked at him, surprised, eyes wide as he looked him over. Instead of his usual tunic, he wore… just a different one. It was - a bit more elegant, only slightly, similar to a cut he’d seen Lucius wear that time he visited Elías in the Astronomy Tower. The collar was  _ definitely _ not what Severus usually wore and Elías could actually see his neck now, down to his collarbones where the buttons actually began and while it was still  _ black _ , it… it was  _ very _ nice.

When Elías’ eyes went back to Severus’, he found the man cocking an eyebrow, amused, Elías flushing as he realized he’d been openly checking out the man.

“You’re wearing something different,” Elías pointed out.

“How astute of you,” Severus teased, making Elías roll his eyes and push past him into the classroom, which looked  _ very much clean _ . Good job from those four boys. “Narcissa is always adamant that I dress appropriately for my visits,” he explained as he walked towards his office, Elías right behind him.

“You told me to dress as usual!” Elías gasped, eyes wide.

“Yes, because she didn’t tell you otherwise,” Severus replied, as if it were an obvious thing. “You said you wanted to give a message. One that spoke of your care of their son.”

“Yes,” Elías nodded, firm.

“Then just be yourself,” Severus shrugged. “You are, above all, the most parenting of any of the professors here. I have never in my life seen a person so willing to work hours on end to help a student pass. The passion you have for those children…” he pursed his lips, turning to Elías, making the Slytherin pause with wide eyes. “It’s admirable,” Severus ended, making Elías’ cheeks burn. “You’re admirable, Elías. And I think that’s the best you can present to Narcissa and Lucius, in my opinion.”

“I-I -” Elías stuttered, words caught in his throat, flattered beyond belief as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Wow, I… don’t know what to say, Sev.”

“Just be yourself. And they’ll like you,” Severus told him again, reaching forward to straighten the collar of his shirt, making Elías flush a bit deeper. “I’m sure Draco has been telling them enough about you, anyway.”

“Has he?” Elías asked dumbly.

“Are you ready?” Severus retorted, not bothering with an answer, making Elías swallow. “Don’t be nervous. This is a first meeting. If anything, this is the safest you’ll be in that house.”

“That’s not very reassuring,” Elías mumbled, brushing out any wrinkles on his shirt, sighing deeply before the two of them stood in front of the chimney, Severus grasping a bottle of that potion they’d brewed together earlier. “Are they your friends?” Elías suddenly asked before Severus could reach for the floo powder.

Severus paused, turning to him, frowning, “What?” he asked, confused.

“Are they your friends?” Elías repeated.

“Of course,” Severus began. “We’ve -”

“No, Severus, I mean - are they your  _ friends _ ? Friends like - like you and I are?” Elías pressed, biting his lower lip. “Do you trust them, do they have your back?”

Severus watched him for a moment, eyes dark, pondering every question and pondering whether to tell him, Elías was sure. The Spaniard waited patiently, returning his stare, heart beating a slow tattoo on his chest before Severus murmured his answer.

“I trust them with my life, my integrity, my past and my secrets, the ones that are mine to tell,” Severus finally answered and Elías relaxed deeply, nodding. 

“Alright -”

“And more importantly,” Severus added, taking a handful of floo powder, stepping into the empty chimney as he watched Elías. “I trust them with you.  _ Malfoy Manor _ !”

With a poof, Severus was gone and Elías was left to digest that, try and process it while he grasped a handful of powder himself, stepping into the chimney, trying to calm his flaming cheeks. He should get a handle of that stupid little crush he had on Severus. It’d go nowhere good and he was very happy with their friendship. He didn’t want a repeat of Remus.

He called  _ Malfoy Manor _ clearly, dropping the powder onto his feet, engulfed by beautiful flames for a moment before he blinked, seeing the most pristine white, rich living room he’d ever witnessed. Elías stepped out, seeing Severus right beside him and, to Elías’ half-horror and half-surprised, an elf in a tux walked over to them, bowing deeply.

“Master and Mistress Malfoy await for you in the greenroom, Professors,” he said in a small, squeaky voice and Elías felt panic nearly swallow him up but Severus just nodded his head at the elf, walking past him.

“Sev,” Elías breathed as he followed the potions master. “Is he -”

“Frederik is paid, not a slave,” Severus immediately said and Elías felt relief swallow him whole. “Do not worry about that. I believe only the House of Black was the one who… disregarded the Statute of Elven Freedom.”

“Disregarded,” Elías scoffed quietly. “Gods. I nearly - that scared me.”

“Frederik has worked for the Malfoys for years,  _ he  _ didn’t want to leave,” Severus pointed out, easily moving between corridors, Elías seeing various people employed, wearing cleaning uniforms and elegant tunics. There was an old lady feeding a poodle, too, which Elías almost stopped at but Severus cleared his throat, making him move again. “He wanted to stay.”

“Doesn’t mean there isn’t an - inherent difference in power dynamics,” Elías tried to stutter out, breathing slowly. “Slaves can be brainwashed by those in power.”

“I admit, that is very easily the case,” Severus raised his eyebrows a bit. “But he’s paid. And he loves Draco very much. And Draco loves him. So at least, there’s that.”

“I’m glad he’s  _ employed _ ,” Elías whispered, sighing, moving so that he was next to Severus and not behind him. “This place is  _ huge _ .”

“It’s a French Manor,” Severus explained to him. “Built by Septimus Malfoy, back in the 18th Century. He was so in love with Selina Selwyn that he told her he’d do anything to marry her and she, thinking he never would, proposed that he build her the perfect home… with his bare magic. Without help from anyone else.”

“And he did?” Elías’ eyebrows raised.

“Yes, and it caved in before he could show her,” Severus explained, making Elías smile a bit as he smirked at Elías. “But she was impressed, nonetheless, by his dedication to her, and his drive to conquer her heart.”

“She married him,” Elías stated, grinning.

“And built the house herself,” Severus added, turning on a corridor, making Elías laugh against the back of his hand. “The women who marry Malfoys… you’ll see. They’re quite similar, in the end.”

“I’m excited to meet them both for real,” Elías told him, smiling, and finally they entered a corridor full of floor to ceiling French windows, making him suck in a sharp breath. This wasn’t England. “ _ Oh _ ,” Elías paused, sunshine on his face, his hand pressing against the glass. “Oh, I didn’t know we were in Pays de la Loire! Oh, it’s so  _ green _ !”

“The Malfoys are French,” Severus cocked an eyebrow, watching Elías with a bit of amusement. “You speak French, yes?”

“Decently, yes,” Elías nodded, rushing to move next to him, looking over the beautiful gardens the Malfoys had. “Wow… it’s  _ gorgeous _ .”

“It’s quite a beautiful garden, yes,” Severus nodded, finally stopping in front of two big, beautiful crystal and white metal doors, the crest of the Malfoy family shining on top, making Elías pause. “Ready?” Severus asked him.

“I mean, I’m here, I’m queer, let’s fucking do this,” Elías breathed in, giving Severus a nod, which the potions master returned before opening the garden doors, letting the breeze of the French countryside and the smell of flowers embriagate the two of them. 

It  _ was _ a beautiful garden. Elías could see Narcissa with big garden shears, kneeling by the Irises and Elías watched her for a moment, stunned by her beauty. She had the straight nose, that deep black of her hair, the grey eyes and the high cheekbones - Sirius and her looked so alike that it was almost jarring, thinking of how she probably would be happy that her cousin was alright, if she didn’t believe that he was guilty. Or… even if he’d been guilty.

“Hello,” Narcissa smiled brightly at the two of them, slowly standing, wearing a shimmering black dress that should’ve looked out of place for such an occasion but it only made Elías feel underdressed, if anything. Her lips were painted a deep blood red and Elías was nearly left breathless as she walked forward. He - well, he could admit that he felt a bit flustered as she finally reached them both, taking off her gardening gloves, setting them over a wooden table filled with gardening tools. Her nails were sharp, had a point to them. Elías dreaded making her angry already.

“Hello, Narcissa,” Severus stepped forward, leaning down so she could kiss her cheek, the matron of the Malfoys lifting her hand to cup Severus’ jaw, patting it as she smiled. “You look radiant, as always.”

“Oh, you flatter me, Severus,” she chuckled, accepting the potion he handed her. “Oh! How convenient, darling, we were running low and it’s Charity Season - soon we’ll be coming home late from events and this will be perfect.”

“Glad I could help,” Severus hummed before gesturing at Elías, the humble professor walking forward. Severus was taller than Narcissa, yes, but Narcissa was a whole fucking head taller than Elías. He felt like he’d stepped into a colosseum without weapons or armor. “This is Elías Fernández Oviedo. As I told you, he’s the new Astronomy Professor at Hogwarts.”

“Yes, yes, so you’ve said,” her grey eyes went to Elías and she approached him with a smile, extending her hand to him. “Nice to finally,  _ properly _ meet you, Mr Fernández Oviedo.”

“Nice to meet you as well,” he took her hand and kissed her knuckles, having at least the decency and awareness to do that, her eyes gleaming with interest as he gently dropped her hand. “And please, just Elías is fine.”

“Then please, call me Narcissa,” she replied, clapping her hands, making the staff in the gardens start moving inside the Manor. Elías found it a little disturbing. “Lucius should be here pretty soon. In the meantime, I believe I owe you both some tea. Any preferences?”

“None for me,” Severus easily answered, following her towards a beautiful, wrought-iron white table in the middle of the gardens, surrounded by white rose bushes. 

“Any green tea will do,” Elías responded, making her nod, snapping her fingers at Frederick, whom Elías hadn’t noticed was around until now. He didn’t like that much but he sat in one of the chairs as Narcissa indicated, a fourth between her and Elías, for Lucius, surely.

Once Frederick was out with a  _ crack _ , Narcissa let her elbows rest on the table, holding her chin with her hands, watching Elías with such an avidly curious look. Like a little girl looking at a particularly delicate porcelain doll on the window of her favorite shop. Elías looked back at her, knowing perfectly that this could very well be a snake in disguise, that this could be a trap to get him somewhere he didn’t want to. It felt a bit like talking to Dumbledore.

“You’re quite young for a professor,” she began, making Elías laugh a bit because he knew that’d been coming. It always did. “How old are you?”

“Twenty two,” Elías told her, leaning back a bit on his chair. “I began on September, at twenty one.”

“Oh! Same age as Severus here!” she said, smiling at the potions professor, who merely nodded at her. “I didn’t really hear much from your time at Hogwarts, though, I must say.”

“I wasn’t a prodigy by any means,” Elías explained, honest. “I was just another student. However, I did enjoy Astronomy so in my time and, after finishing college, Dumbledore approached me about a job at Hogwarts. I accepted, since I didn’t really have much else to do, I’m afraid. And here I am. I quite like the choice I’ve made, I love being a professor.”

“And students love  _ you _ ,” she said, eyes glimmering, seeking information. Elías knew this was an interrogation, not just casually breaking the ice. He was careful about what he said. “Draco has spoken about you.”

“Has he?” Elías asked, actually surprised. He didn’t have that closeness to Draco as he had with -

“And Theodore as well - well, his friend group,” Narcissa explained, making Elías realize that whatever those kids knew, Narcissa knew. Uh-oh.

“They’re good kids,” Elías said, and he meant it, giving her a small smile. “I know they’ve been a bit misguided, but I truly believe they can do well. Blaise and Pansy are especially good academically, and I believe Draco is a gifted seeker.”

“He needs to spend more time behind books than behind Potter,” Severus scowled, speaking up just as Frederick came back with a silver platter, setting some  _ beautiful _ colored glass tea cups down in front of the three of them. Elías still felt uncomfortable being served by an elf, with the implication that he’d previously been a  _ slave _ here.

“Is he still with that silly crush of his?” Narcissa asked, sighing, frowning at the two professors. “I thought he truly would be over it by now.”

“Apparently not,” Elías hummed, surprised that someone of… such a conservative background was alright with a queer son. Elías had never really encountered a wizard with a problem with ah,  _ the gays _ , per se. Not really. Not the way he had in the muggle world. 

“How are his grades, though?” she asked, apparently forgoing the interrogation to ask about her son, making Elías relax a bit, dropping some sugar into his teacup. It smelled heavenly and he found a few bowls with dried herbs that he could put. There was also some cut lemon, which he gladly sank into his tea. “Is he doing alright?”

“He’s improving in the Astronomy department,” Elías told her, sipping his drink, delighted. Probably the best tea he’d ever had. “Had his problems finishing essays -”

“He’s  _ always _ had problems with the conclusions, though,” Severus pointed out, making Elías and Narcissa nod. “He should focus on structure. Perhaps in the summer, Narcissa.”

“He’s been neglecting his writing studies,” she explained. “All he thinks about is Quidditch,” she rolled her eyes. “And Lucius only  _ encourages him _ .”

“Quidditch is an admirable sport, and Draco  _ is _ admirable as a seeker,” Elías put in softly, calming the two other Slytherins down. “But I quite agree that he’s leaving other things aside, in his pursuit of sports. Writing and composition is one of them. What does Draco enjoy in books?”

“He read a lot as a young boy,” Narcissa sighed. “As of lately, he hasn’t much. I worry about that, he’s so smart.”

“It’s the distractions,” Severus pointed out.

“He’s  _ thirteen _ ,” Elías scolded him gently, hand moving to pull on Severus’ ear, the man scowling at Elías. “He’s at the prime time where he wants to pull pranks, have fun with his friends and not think about his future. It’s  _ normal _ ,” he turned to Narcissa. “I’ve got multiple smaller cousins, Narcissa, and I can assure you that it’s the age. If anything, during the summer he just has to set a book per month or a small book per week. Make a quick report, do a little essay and that’s it. I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”

“Thank you,” Narcissa gave him a smile, this time a genuine one, looking at Elías with slightly different eyes. “Draco and his friends speak very fondly of you, Elías.”

“Is that so?” he asked, finishing up his tea, Severus easily taking the teapot and serving him some more. Elías thanked him softly.

“They say you, unlike the rest of the staff at Hogwarts, do not have a preference for the other Houses. That you do not favor anyone when it comes to taking or giving points,” she sipped her tea, catching Elías off guard, blinking at her. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” Severus replied, making Elías turn to him with surprise. “He doesn’t.”

“Nobody has a preference,” Elías told her, frowning. “Except… well, except Dumbledore -”

“Severus does,” she cocked an eyebrow and the potions professor looked shameless as Elías gaped at him. “He certainly moves the Slytherins forward.”

“Severus!” Elías hissed but the man was unchanged.

“With everyone docking points everywhere from my House, do you think it’d be better if I was fair?” he asked Elías, making him pause. “You know they’re not fair at all.”

“Well, I - I do know that there’s prejudice against us,” Elías confessed, making Narcissa nod. “But everyone has prejudices. I try to be fair, the best of my abilities. I love Slytherin House very much, I’m proud of being a Slytherin -”

“Is that so?” Narcissa jumped in, grinning, and Elías felt the coiling of an anaconda around him, surrounding him, right where the Matron of the Malfoys wanted him to be. “How delightful, a muggleborn who enjoys being a Slytherin.”

“I find pride in who I am,” Elías told her, pursing his lips a little bit. “This wouldn’t be the strangest thing.”

“What do you enjoy about Slytherin?” she asked.

“The drive. The no-bullshit attitude, once you get past the niceties,” Elías told her easily. “The power-play, a little bit. I’m terrible at it, as you’ve probably already seen. But I brand honesty like a weapon and most people don’t expect it. That’s a weapon on itself.” he paused, sipping his tea again, enjoying the taste before speaking again. “And I enjoy the venom, I’ll admit. There’s something… just  _ pleasurable _ in hitting someone right where it hurts.”

Severus glanced at him but Elías was engaged with Narcissa, grey meeting blue, her smile only growing. It reminded him very suddenly of Bellatrix Lestrange, on the cover of the Daily Prophet, when she’d been arrested five years ago on the account of muggleborn torture and killing. Elías felt a spike of fear, his fight or flight sense activating but all of a sudden he felt Severus’ hand under the table, gripping his knee, making his cheeks flush brightly at the  _ touch _ .

Narcissa blinked when Elías broke eye contact and she turned to Severus, eyebrows raising, Severus’ hand quickly slipping from his knee but it was already done and things had already happened and  _ bless _ the sound of the garden doors opening and Lucius coming in, his long hair tied carefully with a black ribbon and Narcissa stood, smiling genuinely at him.

“Lucius, dear!” she called, walking forward to him. “We’ve got comp -  _ Lucius _ !”

Elías laughed into his hand as Malfoy lifted his wife into quick spin, hands on her waist, setting her down before kissing her deeply, lovingly, exhaustion hidden by the utter passion he showed his wife and Elías felt deeply moved, looking away with a small smile. Narcissa and Lucius may be scary but if there was one thing Elías could appreciate was this love so shamelessly displayed. 

“Lucius, we have  _ company _ ,” Narcissa hissed, her cheeks flushed, brushing her dress of wrinkles and the man looked over at the table and finally noticed Elías, body swiftly changing into a position of higher standing, an aristocrat instead of a husband once more. “This is Professor Fernández, from Hogwarts? I invited him for tea, you remember?”

“You did not mention,” Lucius said sibilantly, glancing at Narcissa, who blinked innocently. “Or at the very least, I do not remember, dear.”

“Oh, my bad,” she said loftly. “Why don’t you sit with us? We were discussing Draco.”

“What did he do now?” he sighed, taking off his coat, letting Frederick handle it, the elf easily folding it before taking Lucius’ cane, walking away. Lucius took a seat next to Narcissa, taking off his gloves, and Elías realized that he’d never seen Lucius without them.

It… seemed like there was a reason for it, as he saw the warped, scarred skin of most of his right hand and some of his left. Elías did not stare, watching Lucius instead with a small smile.

“Nothing, nothing, just - talking about his grades. He  _ has _ been improving in Astronomy,” he told the man, making him look a bit relieved, nodding, Frederick appearing with a crack to leave a teacup and saucer along with a silver spoon in front of Lucius, disappearing soon after. 

“And Potions?” Lucius questioned, looked over at Severus.

“He’s adequate,” Severus replied, a bit dryly, and Lucius gave a frown.

“Does he need classes again?” he sighed.

“I’ll know by the end of the year. So far, I believe he can improve,” Severus confided, putting his teacup down. “He’s been focused on Quidditch too much.”

“He’s good at it,” Lucius told him.

“No one is saying he’s not, darling,” Narcissa chuckled, patting his hand.

“We’re just saying that he needs to focus more on academics for now,” Severus told Lucius, cocking an eyebrow. “And definitely focus less on sports and boys.”

“I’ll have a talk with him,” Lucius sighed.

“Don’t be too harsh, I implore,” Elías spoke up, making Lucius look over at him. “I… I know that Draco has gotten into trouble recently. And that his grades may leave something to be desired. But if anything, he’s at the age where this shouldn’t leave anything big in his records. He's a kid, just… let him be a kid. Remind him to read and review some things but also, let him enjoy his summer. We're only thirteen for a short amount of time."

“I agree,” Lucius said, face impassive, his ice blue eyes analyzing Elías. “I did not know you’d be coming today, Professor Fernández. Quite a surprise to see you here… willingly.”

“I know,” Elías replied, filling Narcissa’s cup as she finished it, letting his tattooed hands rest on the table once he set the teapot down. “Quite a surprise for me, as well. But I wanted to get to know the both of you.”

Severus paused as he was about to drink, eyes on him, not knowing what Elías was about to do. Good. He liked being a wildcard.

“Oh?” Lucius asked, curious. “Is that so?”

“Yes, I want to make sure it’s clear what I’m here for,” Elías sighed, leaning back on the chair, deciding to just - y’know. Throw it all out the window. Fuck it. Severus seemed ready to tackle him to the ground but Elías wanted to be clear from the beginning. He wasn’t good at power and mind games, never had been. He liked them, sure - but he knew when he’d lose. And he knew he was in a vulnerable enough place. And he knew what Narcissa had been doing when she’d asked him what he liked about Slytherin. Elías knew every damn tactic because he’d already been through it before.

And now, leaning back, having the attention of these three Slytherins, he gestured at the Malfoys, shaking his head.

“I don’t want any power,” he told them, making Narcissa blink, lips on the rim of her beautiful thousand-euro teacup. “I don’t want money, I don’t want influence, I don’t want advantage over anyone and I certainly don’t want to be in your little club. I think my muggle parents and family would be quite upset about the latter. So I’ll spare you the attempts to try and recruit me over tea parties, then eventual parties, then real meetings after you’ve got all my secrets to hang over me.”

Severus groaned, hand rubbing the bridge of his nose as Lucius cocked an eyebrow and Narcissa grinned, looking truly amused, watching Elías with what seemed like delight.

“Then what are you here for?” Lucius asked, sardonic. “If, of course, I may ask?”

“Of course,” Elías nodded, completely serious. “I’m here for your son.”

Their expressions changed - they dropped the seemingly niceties and Narcissa let her teacup back into the saucer, a cool breeze the only sound breaking the mood as Severus fought not to just drop to the ground and give up on Elías. Well, fuck him. Elías was going to do things his way - with blunt honesty and not a single shit to give. He was past word play, he had to let them know what his game was if he wanted to be uninterrupted by the rest of the world.

“I am here for Draco,” he stated, finishing up his second cup of tea. “For his education, his growth and his safety - the latter the most prominent.”

“Why would his safety be at risk?” Lucius asked cooly.

“Don’t act a fool,” Elías replied, making Severus jerk a bit in his seat. “We all know the storm that looms over the horizon, Lucius. We’ve all seen the signs. We all know it’s just a matter of time. So I sit here and hope, honestly  _ hope _ , that I am not considered an enemy due to my affiliations or my blood, or an ally because of my friends and my House. I want to be considered a - sort of neutral ground? I hope to be a safety net when things come crashing down. For the children.”

“For the children,” Narcissa repeated, red lips pursed. “Is that so?”

“They’re my priority,” Elías stated, arms crossed, watching them both seriously. “You may believe me, you may not believe me, but I walk out of here with my intentions laid on the table for you to see.”

“Your honesty is disarming,” Narcissa confessed.

“His honesty will get him  _ killed _ ,” Severus growled, annoyed, glaring at Elías, who turned to Severus with his eyebrows raised. “Have I told you  _ nothing _ ? What do you have against them now? Huh? You  _ always _ need something under your sleeve.”

“I’ve got nothing to hide to these parents,” Elías replied, seeing Severus’ game. He did have things under his sleeve, things Severus knew, and the man was giving him such a  _ perfect _ disposition to hide it that Elías was sure he’d done this before.

“I do not trust you, Elías,” Narcissa spoke up, her eyes on his, making Elías turn to her slowly. “But Severus seems to. And I do trust his judgement…” she paused and Lucius gave a little smile, chuckling behind his warped hand. “...most of the time.”

“Narcissa -” Severus warned.

“Oh,  _ relax _ , I think you’re fine this time,” she patted Severus’ cheek, the potions master tolerating it, making Elías slowly begin to smile as well. “I do believe, at the very least, that you are looking out for my children - not just my son, but his friends as well. Theodore…”

Lucius cleared his throat and Narcissa took in a deep breath. “Well,” she sighed.

“Theodore,” Elías sighed as well, nodding. “Yes. I understand.”

“He’s been doing better,” Narcissa said, now a bit softer. “And Draco alluded to it being your doing.”

“I wouldn’t say that it’s all been me,” Elías countered, frowning. “The boy - he’s got good friends. Solid friends. People ready to change and adapt to what he sees and needs. I think that’s important. I can tell that those six kids are tight, they love each other very much. And that’s exactly what Theodore needs - to know he’s not alone. That he’s heard and beloved, even if… back at home it’s another story.”

“We try our best,” Lucius added as he stirred some rosemary into his tea. “But we cannot hold him inside every summer, I’m afraid.”

“Has anyone tried to contest Nott?” Elías cocked an eyebrow and Narcissa winced.

“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” she sighed, rubbing her brow. “Paschal has a hold of the committee.”

“How much of a hold?” Elías asked, thinking.

“Enough that the anonymous testimonies sent have gone missing,” Severus told Elías, making him purse his lips. “Even as we tried to make this quiet.”

“I see,” Elías murmured. “So there’s no hope for Theodore?”

“I wouldn’t say so,” Lucius said easily. “He’s a bright boy. And strong, too. We keep him safe for as long as we can and… hope for the best.”

“Hope for the best won’t stop his father from hurting him. Causing lasting damage,” Elías told Lucius, frowning deeply. “ _ Truly _ , what’s stopping anyone from just walking into CPS at the Ministry of Magic and reporting this?”

“It’s been done before, privately,” Narcissa explained.

“What if it was public?” Elías countered, making the three other Slytherins freeze. “What if - fuck it, what if someone went to the press with this? We would need to ask Theodore -”

“Nott would ruin you,” Severus told him, point-blank, making Elías turn to him. “Whatever you think you can hit him with, he’s got ten times the power - and the manpower - to make you regret it, Elías. Not only would you lose the case, you’d lose your job and the minimum respect you have gathered in the magic community.”

Elías sighed, rubbing his face, “Gods, that’s frustrating.”

“You get used to it,” Lucius said in a deadpan tone, finishing his tea with a bitter look in his face. “Won’t be the first time, won’t be the last time you see this among… our families.”

“You mean purebloods?” Elías asked.

“We mean Slytherins,” Narcissa explained. “As a muggleborn, you probably were… quite out of the main group, I suppose.”

Elías snorted, “That’s a nice way to put it.”

“Every family has expectations,” Lucius told him and Elías was suddenly reminded of his screams as his sister was killed in front of him and Severus. His hands had been gloved back then, as well. Had he gotten those trying to defend his sister?

Elías said nothing and Narcissa moved her hand to brush some of Lucius’ hair out of his face, behind his ear, his lips spreading into a small smile as he gently grasped her fingers and kissed the tips, a gesture that brought a quiet longing and happiness within Elías.

It was, at the very least, obvious that Lucius and Narcissa loved each other very, very much. Lucius was unashamed and evident in his affections and he cared a lot for his son, too, which made Elías feel absolute relief that the most worrying thing about Draco was perhaps his juvenile way of showing affection - pulling on pigtails was a small worry compared to the scarring on Lucius’ hands or the screams of his younger sister.

“It truly is a lovely tea, Narcissa,” Elías said softly as he looked into his empty teacup, giving him a genuine small smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever had anything quite like it.”

“Thank you, the one in the teapot is trà lài,” she explained and Elías recognized the pronunciation a bit, thinking immediately of Sirius. “It was my aunt’s favorite tea. I still get an import from Lam-Dong.”

“How delightful,” Elías said softly, feeling a wide ache at the thought of Walburga. Remus had called her abusive but Elías wondered just how many scars she’d maintained since childhood. It seemed like nobody was safe. “I should get some for personal enjoyment.”

“Oh, nonsense! I’ll give you a bag of it,” she replied, waving her hand, and Elías wanted to complain but he knew it’d do nothing and he’d just look inconsiderate, so he just nodded, giving her a small smile.

“Thank you,” he murmured, taking a deep breath. “Now, that was a depressing conversation!” he stated, clapping his hands once, making Severus look over at him, unamused. “I, personally, would love to move on to the fact that I’ve high hopes for the Quidditch cup this year.”

“So do I,” Lucius smirked, relaxing slightly, leaning back against his chair. “I believe we have it quite easy this year.”

“Not with Potter on a Firebolt, though,” Elías sighed and Lucius’ eyes crisped. 

“It’s the wizard, not the broom that makes the player,” he told Elías.

“Yeah, but equipment is important,” Elías replied, leaning back. “Draco has been training so hard because of it. I believe we’ve got a very good keeper this year, though. Barely seen her let a quaffle pass -”

Narcissa cleared her throat and the two men turned to her and Severus, both looking bored, making Elías flush a bit and Lucius chuckle.

“No sports in the garden table,” Narcissa stated, slapping Lucius’ arm. 

“What do you want to talk about, then,  _ mon chou _ ?” he asked, amused.

“ _ N'importe quoi par sport, Lucius, c'est tout ce dont tu parles _ ,” she huffed, making him laugh, Elías snorted a bit as she threw a sugar cube at her husband. 

“ _ On pourrait parler de Severus, puisque tu me harcèle un peu _ ,” Elías suggested, making Lucius and Narcissa turn to him, surprised. 

“Oh, that’s  _ quite _ a Belgian accent!” Narcissa laughed, delighted, grinning at Elías. 

“Ah, I lived in Mons for a while,” Elías explained. “Not too much, I was soon off to Hogwarts, but I did live there in the summers. Ma thought it best for me to learn French so - here I am.”

“Any other languages?” Lucius asked.

“Well, there’s my mother language, Spanish,” he replied. “And uh, I can defend myself in German. Latin was the one I never finished but I can also handle it. A little bit.”

“And you’re a muggleborn,” Lucius’ eyebrows raised a bit. 

“Born  _ and _ raised,” Elías nodded proudly, chin tilted up, meeting his gaze dead-on. 

“Do you feel Spanish or British?” Narcissa asked curiously and, at that, Severus snorted against his teacup, making Elías laugh.

“He’s  _ Spanish _ ,” Severus said, taking a napkin to clean his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Infuriatingly so.”

“Ex _ cuse _ me?” Elías turned to Severus with a grin, kicking him under the table lightly. “How am I  _ infuriatingly _ Spanish?”

“You make a face whenever I tell you a French brewing method,” his eyebrows raised and Elías paused, pursing his lips as Lucius turned to him.

“Alright, you can’t fault -”

“And whenever someone in Slytherin marked a goal, you kept saying  _ olé _ ,” Severus remarked, making Elías laugh. “You actually do it way more often than that - you also do it when your potions go well.”

“Do I?” Elías blinked.

“Yes,” Severus said dryly. “ _ Way too much _ .”

“That’s because of my sister, I’ll be honest,” Elías laughed, rubbing his jaw. “She says it so much, she stuck it to me again during Christmas, I suppose.”

“You’ve a sister?” Lucius asked, eyes narrowing. “Another Fernández? Who happens perhaps to be called Elena?”

“I see you’ve been to Beauxbatons,” Elías pointed out, making him nod and Narcissa suddenly gasped.

“Oh! You’re Elena’s brother?!” she asked, grin spreading and Severus watched her with confusion. “She was at the Clover Charity Ball last year! What a delight of a woman, she was with her, ah, boyfriend? Alejandro?”

“Alex, yes,” Elías nodded. 

“An incredible photographer,” Narcissa said, making Elías smile. “How come you weren’t there, dear? Don’t you and your sister work together?”

“Oh, no, no,  _ no _ ,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “She’s the popular, social flower. I’m more… reserved in my family.”

“ _ Reserved _ ?” Severus asked, doubtful.

“Elena was a delight, do tell her I said hello,” Narcissa said, making Elías nod. “Fernández is enough of a common name that I didn’t put two and two together. You two  _ do _ look a bit similar, now that I think of it. It’s the nose.”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, always so uncomfortable at being compared to his sister.

“Have you met any of them, Severus?” Narcissa asked, turning to the potions master. “Since you two seem to be so close.”

Severus gave her a little glare but Narcissa was all smiles and white teeth, making him sigh, “No, I have not. Our…  _ friendship _ is merely academic.”

“Is that why you went to dinner last night with him?”

Elías choked on his tea and Lucius hissed, grinning, watching his wife before looking over at Severus, “You can’t lie to her, Severus, you know this,” he laughed.

“It’s not academic,” Elías said honestly, chuckling.

“ _ Elías  _ -”

“We’re  _ friends _ . What’s wrong with saying it?” the Spaniard rolled his eyes before reaching over to pat his cheek the way Narcissa had done, chuckling. “Are you allergic to the word, Severus?”

“I do not know why I put up with  _ any _ of you,” Severus stated, dropping his napkin on the table, leaning back as if to have a tantrum and Lucius leaned into the table, laughing lowly.

“Don’t be like that. We’re just glad you’re making friends,” he patted Narcissa’s hand, gripping it lovingly. “Especially one we approve of.”

“You approve of me?” Elías’ eyebrows raised, smiling at the pair.

“As of yet, we -”

“I do,” Narcissa cut him off, making Lucius roll his eyes fondly. “I like you, Elías, if I may be so bold. And I know that perhaps this seems… disingenuous but in Easter we’re going to have a ball for the Flummox Charity and I’d love it if you attended?”

Elías blinked, surprised, “...me?” he pointed at himself. “I’m very sorry to say, Narcissa, but I’m quite broke.”

“It’s a matter of optics, not money,” Severus pointed out. “If you’re there as a muggleborn -”

“Right,” Elías realized. “The Flummox Charity. Isn’t that to help orphans integrate into wizarding society? Since there are no wizarding orphanages?”

“Indeed,” Narcissa nodded. “So if you’d be so kind…?”

“I -” Elías hesitated. “Would you give me some time to think about it, Narcissa? It’s quite generous of you, but I must - ponder it, if you will.”

“That’s just fine, Elías. Send me a letter when you do decide,” she replied, smiling. “And Severus -”

“Not going,” the man replied and Lucius sighed.

“You never do.”

“And I’ll still not go,” Severus finished his tea and stood, brushing his lap of wrinkles on his tunic. “Shall we go?” he asked Elías, who nodded and stood. The sun was starting to set, color turning a paler tone. “It was… interesting to see this happen,” Severus sighed as he looked at Narcissa and Lucius, the two Malfoys standing to bid them goodbye.

“It was actually a pleasure to properly meet you both,” Elías told them, shaking Lucius’ hand, eyes on his. “Outside of court, that is.”

“Indeed,” Lucius chuckled, his grip firm before Narcissa moved to give Elías a kiss on each cheek, familiar and Spanish, more attuned to him. He still took her hand, gave it a kiss, and let Severus nod at Lucius and give a gentle hug to Narcissa, who patted the potioneer’s back with a taloned hand. She seemed to whisper something into his ear and Severus jerked back, cheeks flushed, making Narcissa throw her head back and laugh loudly, bells ringing.

Gods, she was a  _ gorgeous _ woman and Elías couldn’t deny it.

“Thank you so much for your time,” Elías said again, smiling at the both of them. “And sorry you didn’t get to verbally spar with me that much. I’m afraid I’m a little disappointing in that department.”

“Nonsense, it was refreshing to talk to you,” Narcissa told him, hand touching his arm, her body language much more different than when Elías had arrived.

“Do keep us updated if Draco gets out of hand,” Lucius told him with a sigh, making Elías laugh, grinning at him.

“Oh, I definitely will,” he replied.

“Let me just - Frederick?” Narcissa called and with a  _ crack _ , Elías saw the house elf appear, his posture perfect as he lifted a beautiful glass jar filled with tea leaves to the muggleborn, who gently took them, knowing who this was going for right away. “There we go.”

“Thank you so much for your time. And tea. And conversation,” Elías nodded at them both. “I will hopefully see you soon.”

“Hopefully,” Lucius hummed. “ _ A bientôt _ .”

Severus and Elías walked back into the Malfoy Manor in silence, Severus easily gliding through the corridors as Elías watched the glass, thinking of Narcissa and her sisters, and her cousins, and Lucius’ scarred fingers, and Severus’ hastiness to dismiss his father and glorify his mother, and Remus’ words about Walburga, and Theodore’s enthusiasm for instruments.

He was deep in thought and it wasn’t until the two finally went through the chimney and walked into Severus’ office that he realized the tension in his shoulders, letting them drop a bit, watching Severus rub the back of his neck and sigh deeply.

“So…” Elías began, a bit awkward. “Uh… how did I do?”

“How did you  _ do _ ?” Severus asked, turning around, looking incredulous. “Are you  _ joking _ ?”

“No,” Elías mumbled, letting his tea sit on Severus’ desk, dropping onto a chair and rubbing his face. “Gods, I - I felt like it went well? But I don’t know! You know them better than I do! Did I do well?”

“Elías, I have  _ never _ seen them take onto someone so  _ easily _ ,” Severus gave a dry laugh. “In fact, I’d say that it was  _ way _ too easy.”

“Ma says that people trust me easily because I’ve just got  _ that _ kind of face,” Elías said.

“What kind of face?” Severus frowned.

“Just. The kind of face that makes people trust you,” he shrugged. “I dunno. When I meet people, they somehow tell me things they usually don’t tell others. You’ve had that happen. Same with Remus. It’s not - it’s not any magical thing, it’s just that I… I don’t like to divulge secrets and I guess people can sense that.”

“You -” Severus paused, rubbing his jaw. “You  _ are _ quite easy to trust. Huh.”

“But did I do  _ well _ ?” Elías pressed, standing, moving closer to Severus. “Did I actually - you know, not fuck up? I know now that they… more or less like me, but was it out of sheer luck or did I do well?”

“You’re infuriatingly unpredictable,” Severus told him, frustration lacing his voice and Elías watched his eyes, crossing his arms. “You did well, Elías. Grabbed the carpet and ripped it off their feet - and mine, I must admit.”

“Oh?” Elías grinned, satisfied. 

“I didn’t know you’d go for the kill so - directly,” Severus grunted, looking at the Spaniard with a bit of a tired sigh. “I thought I was finally starting to understand you.”

“Well, I like this. Being a wild card. I need to keep you on your toes,” Elías smirked, hand lifting to adjust his collar in a mirror image of earlier in this very same office, Severus looking at him in the eye with slight - and fond - annoyance. “Duck, wine and the seasalt, then?” he asked, tapping the hollow of his throat, unable to resist since he was so close to him, just a foot away, Severus’ warmth radiant in the cold dungeons.

“Duck, wine and seasalt,” the potions master nodded, finally pulling his gaze away from Elías’ and walking to the door, the Spaniard grabbing his tea, delighted that this day was going much better than he’d anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://discord.gg/R6GtxzX


	38. Duck, Wine and Seasalt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE SERVER MADE ME DO IT, I HAD TO UPLOAD AGAIN TODAY. Join ussss
> 
> Trigger warnings:  
> \- Cult tactics  
> \- Discussion of murder  
> \- Discussion of violence  
> \- Discussion of suicide  
> \- Discussion of ableism  
> \- Discussion of death

The two professors floo’ed into Elías’ home and, immediately, the heat was oppressive. Severus let out a grunt as he stepped out and Elías laughed when he turned to glare at Elías - only to pause, blinking at the windows in his living room.

“Welcome to San Fernando!” Elías told him, grinning widely, arms spread.

“It smells…” Severus wrinkled his nose for a moment before his face fell flat again. “...like brine.”

“How astute,” Elías told him and Severus actually sent him an amused look. “Yes, it does. Let me turn up the fans and you can shed some layers. Will you help me cook?”

“Of course,” Severus nodded, looking curiously around the open ground floor, eyes roaming his living room, the thousand framed pictures, the cozy hand-knitted blankets over the backrest of the comfortable couches, the long dining table meant for a lot of people, the mishmash of chairs, the white wallpaper with a millions grown-up marks, names littering every little one. The tallest one was still Emilio but Alessandro was well on his way. “It’s very… lived-in.”

“Mhmm, it’s actually my grandma’s,” Elías told him, waving his wand to make sure the place cooled a little bit, seeing Severus relax slightly, even though he did shed his outer layers. He had a shirt - just a normal shirt, wizard-cut on the collar and cuffs - that was a perfect black and he walked over to the kitchen, scanning it. “Lots of people come here in the summer or during Semana Santa but like - I’m mostly left to my own devices. I was supposed to get together tonight with my cousin Blanca and Juan but I met them this morning instead. She might come over just to meet you and annoy you, she’s a nosy one.”

“Is that so?” he cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed, watching Elías pull out all the ingredients he’d need, the Spaniard starting to play some music - the type that Severus liked, because he was  _ nice _ . So he put Andy Williams and let it simmer in the background, Elías’ eyes closing for a minute as he listened in to a crash nearby. The tide was high at this hour. “How can I help?” 

“So we’ve got to prepare the carrots, shallots and the spring garlic,” Elías told him, washing his hands on the sink, Severus following his example as Elías pushed his sleeves up, buttoning them over his elbow, retying his hair with a small smile as he saw Severus with the peeler already working on the carrots. “I’ve a mandoline, so you can use it for the carrots - then it’s cutting the shallots thinly and also cutting the garlic in medallions.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Severus nodded.

The two worked on the aromatics, Elías comfortably humming along to the music, opening the garden doors so the night ocean breeze could slip in, making him smile. His shoulders were relaxed, eyes calm, and he felt his slicing be more precise and quick than ever, putting the shallots and spring garlic into a bowl as Severus finished with the mandoline, the carrot exactly like Elías needed it.

“Give me a nice, thick piece of garlic?” Elías asked Severus, throwing the whole head at him, Severus easily catching it and peeling it as he looked at Elías curiously. The Spaniard set up a low but wide pot on the stove, filling the bottom with olive oil, putting the aromatics nearby. By the time he was turning around, Severus was walking forward and dropping a nice, squished piece of garlic into the pan - a perfect piece. Elías knew cooking and brewing was, indeed, different but he wondered if one day he’d be able to be as good of a potioneer as Severus. “Thank you.”

Severus said nothing, leaning into the counter as  _ Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You  _ began to play, making Elías’ face light up.

“Oh, I  _ love _ this song,” he grinned at Severus and, to his surprise, the other professor nodded and gave a very small smile.

“One of my favorites,” he confessed quietly and Elías felt his heart leap at another little piece of information that now Elías could hold between his hands greedily.

“ _ You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. You'd be like Heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much… _ ” Elías sang as he put the aromatics into the pot once the oil was warm from the fire, using a wooden spoon to move them to the right place. “ _ At long last, love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true… Can't take my eyes off of you. _ ”

“You’re not a bad singer,” Severus pointed out as Elías moved to the mushrooms - not the ones found in stores. They were different kinds and Severus watched him pull them out of a tied bag. 

“Thank you, I’ll take that as a compliment,” Elías chuckled, starting to clean the mushrooms, Severus taking half the stack and doing the same, following his head. 

“I was a compliment,” Severus confirmed dryly.

“With you, I never know,” Elías laughed, giving him a little nudge. “I jest, I jest, Sev. I’m very sure that you’ve a lovely voice, if you ever sang.”

“I don’t sing,” Severus stated, firmly.

“Or dance,” Elías added, making him nod. “Or smile or laugh, right?”

“I am not dancing or singing, Elías,” Severus told him, rolling his eyes as the smell of the vegetables on the pot became more prevalent in the kitchen.

“You say that now. Let’s see a year from now,” Elías replied, chuckling as he kept singing. “ _ Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothin' else to compare. The sight of you leaves me weak. There are no words left to speak but if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it's real. You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you… _ ”

As the beat picked up, Elías leaned right into Severus’ side, grinning wide, moving his shoulders to the rhythm, the potions master looking over at him with something akin to amusement in his eyes. The Spaniard leaned most of his weight into Severus and danced for the break of the song, laughing hard as Severus actually gave a small smile.

“ _ I LOVE YOU, BABY! _ ” Elías sang, taking the now clean mushrooms and added them to the pot, moving his hips with the song. “ _ And if it's quite alright, I need you, baby! To warm the lonely night, I love you, baby! Trust in me when I say… _ ”

Severus reached over Elías’ shoulder to add some rosemary from the plant Elías had gotten this morning, sitting next to the ingredients. Smart man. He was also mouthing along to the lyrics.

_ “Oh, pretty baby! Don't bring me down, I pray! Oh, pretty baby! Now that I've found you, stay and let me love you, baby! Let me love youuuuu! _ ”

Elías leaned fully into Severus’ chest, the top of his head against it, grinning up at Severus while he looked down at Elías, facing each other backwards and Elías gave a laugh, feeling pretty happy with this Sunday. Especially when Severus actually looked at him and smiled back, his hand moving to the small of Elías’ back so he wouldn’t fall over.

“I like cooking with you,” Elías told him, making Severus freeze for a moment, his eyes a bit wide as Elías smiled. “And brewing potions with you.”

“Do you always use your honesty with such blunt force?” Severus asked Elías.

“What?” Elías laughed.

“Your honesty,” Severus repeated, watching his eyes, those dark, dark irises so intense that Elías felt a bit breathless. “You say these things so easily. Throw them at me, as if they didn’t…” he trailed off and Elías let his grin drop into something more subdued, more gentle.

“...take you off guard?” Elías finished, making Severus sighed, his other hand moving to stir the contents of the pot. “Well, it’s just how I work. I don’t do it specifically to fluster anyone or make anyone feel, uh, attacked?”

“Do you?” Severus asked, his hand so very warm on Elías’ back, the younger Slytherin still resting against him, a solid pillar. 

“Mhmm,” Elías closed his eyes. “Ma taught me that if you’ve nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I know it’s not… something to apply to everything. But I also do realize that when you  _ do _ have something nice to say, you should say it.”

“So you always say what you think if it’s… nice?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Elías smiled at him and Severus looked down again, away from the pot. “I like brewing and cooking with you, Severus.”

“I enjoy my time with you, regardless if it’s cooking or brewing,” Severus replied, making Elías’ heart almost stop, his entire stomach  _ exploding _ with butterflies. “I enjoy talking to you, you are a fascinating man. Even if you do make me think of very uncomfortable realities.”

“Like what?” Elías asked, turning the music a bit lower, letting Severus speak.

“Like my relationship with Lily, and what I expected from her,” Severus murmured, making Elías nod the best he could with his head against Severus. “How I treated her. How I… viewed things to her detriment. And mine, as well.”

“Those things are uncomfortable to think about, yes,” Elías whispered. “But… they do let you start to process things, don’t they?”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” Severus said quietly, looking at the pot on the fire instead of Elías. “A lot of mistakes, Elías. And every time I look back… I just find more.”

“I know what you mean,” Elías said and Severus turned to him, frowning, confused. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, too, Severus. I have… been a very bad person. A very violent person. I have said awful things to my sister because of things she didn’t know or couldn’t control. I have lost friends because of my temperament, because of my outburst of emotions. I have put a strain on my parents for a long time - outside of being trans or queer, just… I was not a good kid, you know?”

“I think that’s a far cry from being a Deatheater,” Severus pointed out.

“Yeah, I know,” Elías admitted, standing straight, turning fully to Severus as he lowered the fire. “I… got arrested. When I was seventeen.”

“Arrested?” Severus’ eyebrows shot up.

“Huge fight,” Elías explained. “I was beating up this guy who was like - fuck, I don’t know? Twenty three or something? Thing is - he was bigger and tougher and meaner. And I wanted him to go down.”

Severus watched him, saying nothing and Elías turned to the kitchen island, grabbing the foie and the brandy, mixing them together in a bowl.

“I started up a fight because I could,” Elías told him. “And it broke out into this huge thing but all I could focus on was  _ that man _ . I had to beat him, I had to punch him, I had to just… let all my anger out on him. He could’ve had a switchblade, he could’ve been just some random, nice guy around, you know? But the moment he said something nasty, I was on him. Police arrived, I was put in the police station, they put me on record and my sister came to pick me up and silvertongue her way out of a permanent stain where my name was in their files.”

Severus watched him pour the mixture inside the pot, letting it mix and reduce, leaning against the counter and shrugging.

“Elena was furious,” he told Severus. “Ask me what the fuck was I doing, why did I do that, why was I just picking fights, and I… I realized that I’m just a very fucking violent person, Severus,” Elías sighed. “Just this - awful fucking person, always itching for a fight. It didn’t need to be physical, it was mostly verbal. My sister picked on me, sure, and she was mean to me, but I should’ve been the bigger person instead of trying to one-up her. I was so resentful, so  _ bile _ to a lot of my family. Just because they didn’t  _ know _ .”

He sighed, rubbing his forehead, trying to get past the knot in his throat.

“I have good qualities. I know that,” Elías murmured. “But it’s hard to try and see them when I’ve got this background of punching the teeth out of someone and  _ enjoying _ it. I know if I were to get in a fight again, I’d still enjoy it. Because I like violence and… that’s a hard thing to admit to myself.”

“Anger is a justifiable emotion to feel,” Severus told him, his voice low and Elías played something instrumental and calming, just to keep himself a bit more sane. “Especially when you so very often have had to hide.”

“Trans anger is justified,” Elías told him. “Anger just for the sake of it -”

“You’ve seen death and war a lot,” Severus cut in. “You’ve normalized it.”

“I suppose,” Elías whispered. “I don’t know, just… I suppose that’s why I never tried to learn how to duel. I’m… a bit afraid I’d like it  _ too _ much. And it’s something uncomfortable for me to realize, about myself.”

Severus was quiet for a moment, looking at the pot, the kitchen island, the framed photos on the wall and finally to Elías, his eyes a storm of different thoughts. 

“You didn’t have to share that,” he finally told Elías, pursing his lips.

“I know,” Elías shrugged. “But I felt like… it’d make you feel better. We’ve all - we’ve all got something dark inside us, Severus. Whether it’s an unhealthy penchant for violence or an interest in the Dark Arts that someone took advantage of when you were younger. It’s a matter of understanding that it doesn’t make you a bad person -”

“Being a Deatheater doesn’t make you a bad person?” Severus’ eyebrows shot up.

“No,” Elías replied, quietly, sad as he looked at the pot. “Because from what I saw back in the Manor…” he sighed, deeply. “Severus, you can admit that you all regret it.”

Severus rubbed his jaw, his neck, looking away with a frown. That was all the confirmation Elías needed, and he nodded, taking the wooden spoon again and stirring so the bottom wouldn’t burn.

“How many are in your close group?” Elías asked him, making Severus close his eyes.

“The deserters?” he chuckled dryly. “There’s the Malfoys, of course. Avery. Yaxley. Gibbon as well, though he doesn’t like to speak of it. Goyle and Zabini, as well as Jugson and Parkinson. They’re… my friends. Were my friends. I don’t talk to them as much as I used to. But I see them, from time to time.”

“They all regret it, then?” Elías turned fully to Severus. 

“How couldn’t we?” Severus breathed, eyes on the geometric patterns of the kitchen tiles, hand tightly gripping his own arm. “Marked for life, a stain in our souls. We watched innocent people die over and over again. It never mattered until suddenly it was someone we knew. Someone we loved. There was always a traitor, always someone to be blamed. Voldemort began to look less humane the more we followed him, until we could barely recognize him as one of us. Yaxley’s wife was brutally murdered and he lost his damn mind. By then, Bella was also barely recognizable.”

Elías felt his heart sink as Severus spoke, gripping the counter tightly.

“We’d been seduced by power, by retribution to those who had always pushed us away,” Severus whispered quietly. “Slytherin House was full of those who spoke of revenge. Exacerbated by the staff’s attitude, by  _ Dumbledore _ , we…” he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I was young. And stupid. And my father was a  _ monster _ .”

“Sev -” Elías breathed, stepping closer, his fingers moving around his wrist gently, feeling his heart break. “Severus, it’s  _ gone _ , it’s  _ over _ .”

“It is not,” Severus swallowed. “And you know it better than anyone else.”

“We can stop it,” Elías told him firmly.

“It’s already in the works,” Severus whispered, making Elías freeze. “There’s been rumors, Elías. Rumors in the shadows, in the corners of pureblood homes. If he chooses to return -”

“He’ll be outnumbered,” Elías replied, firmly. “We’ve got  _ you _ on our side. And those that have seen the light -”

“What light?” Severus asked him, making Elías pause. “There was never light for us, Elías. We made a mistake. Now it’ll haunt us - rightfully so. We murdered and pillaged and did it all in the name of  _ purity _ .”

“I  _ know _ , but - but the war has been over for almost  _ fourteen years _ . Has… has no one approached any of you? Tried to mend any bridges?” he asked desperately.

“There never were bridges in the first place,” Severus replied, looking sadly at him. “This was… always bound to happen, Elías. With indoctrinated children? All of them growing to resent a single house, forcing that house to resent the other three? Ostracizing them, alienating them, telling them that they’re  _ evil _ . How could the kids even think of breaking away from that?”

“It’s a combination, then?” Elías asked. “Of - of the Slytherin hatred and the fucking cult tactics of blood puritans?”

“Pretty much,” Severus nodded.

“So not even the so-called  _ good guys _ are helping,” Elías scoffed, shaking his head, feeling his anger and frustration move over to just absolutely  _ everyone _ . “People like Dumbledore -”

“We both know who he really is,” Severus said dryly. “He wants to win the war.”

“He wants to win the war  _ his way _ ,” Elías told him, eyes dark. “Which is machiavellian.”

“The ends have always justified the means, in Dumbledore’s mind,” Severus sighed and Elías frowned deeply. “He told me to protect Potter but he leaves him in  _ Petunia’s _ home.”

“So you know about it,” Elías said, a bit hurt. “You know how they treat him.”

“I can guess,” Severus murmured, checking the pot, nodding as he saw that it still needed time. “Petunia was a jealous little snitch. She hated Lily because she envied her. Now she hated her son because Lily died.”

“Reminds me of someone,” Elías said, before he could stop it, making Severus freeze. “Oh, you didn’t notice?” he asked, eyebrows raising.

“I’m not in  _ charge _ of the  _ kid _ ,” Severus defended, making Elías sigh.

“You’re his  _ professor _ ,” he retorted, a bit angrily. “Harry’s done nothing wrong.”

“His arrogance -”

“He has no  _ arrogance _ , he just wants to be a  _ kid _ !” Elías snapped, making Severus look away hastily, conflicted. “If you ever had an honest conversation with him instead of looking at James, maybe you’d know. He’s a good kid, he has a good heart, and he doesn’t deserve the treatment that you give him.”

“I’d be the one to decide that,” Severus replied.

“Yeah, you will, after you apologize to him,” Elías took the spoon from Severus, looking at the pot, a bit furious. He hated this part of Severus - the one that hated James Potter above all else, above his empathy or his reason. It was so prevalent and it just frustrated Elías to no end, because he knew that Severus could be  _ better _ .

“I’m sorry,” he heard the potions master mutter.

“It’s not me whom you should be apologizing to,” Elías whispered, eyes sad. “Hasn’t the war taken enough, Severus? All those people that you mentioned - Narcissa, Lucius, Avery, Yaxley, Gibbon, Goyle, Zabini, Parkinson… why keep… the  _ hate _ there?”

“Hard not to,” Severus replied, just like that, and worst of all is that Elías knew he was right. The Deatheaters had done a lot of harm but Elías couldn’t ignore the role that the Order of the Phoenix and the Hogwarts education had done to them before they were adults. “It’s frustrating to me as much as it is to you.”

“Is it?” Elías grunted. “Gods, it feels like I’m the only one here trying to fix things.”

“That’s because you are,” Severus snorted, arms crossing. “It’s years upon years of blood purity taught at homes. Then perpetuated in school. Coupled with hostility from the houses that are supposedly so very welcoming to everyone else. Once you hate the others, you’re in an echo chamber. Hard to get out.”

“Theo did. Theodore has,” Elías told him, making Severy pause.

“ _ What _ ,” he hissed.

“He apologized to Hermione Granger,” he explained, making Severus recoil as if hit, his face a picture of broken expectations. “And so did Vincent and Pansy.”

Severus looked absolutely floored, his jaw a bit slack and his face a bit pale. Like he’d seen a ghost and Elías wondered just how important this was for him. Had he tried, before? To stop this brainwashing and cult recruit of children? Or had he merely settled for trying to defend Slytherins from the pain, from the alienation, from the loneliness that it entailed to be part of that House? Elías remembered being in the pit. He got off easy.

“Did they?” he whispered.

“They did,” Elías nodded.

“They’ll be torn to  _ shreds _ ,” Severus said gravely, eyes showing a fear Elías had never seen before. “They’ll -”

“I know,” Elías murmured. “But they’d got each other, Severus. And they’ve got  _ us _ . We’ll make sure they’re taken care of. And we’ll make sure that… well, that others can safely follow their footsteps.”

“That’s  _ absurd _ ,” Severus told him, shaking his head. “No, they can’t, their parents -”

“Don’t have to know,” Elías said firmly. “Let them learn, Sev. Let them - let them have other friends, walk out of the dungeons for once.”

“This is insane,” Severus groaned, rubbing his face. “How did this happen -”

“It was bound to,” Elías replied, taking the duck broth and pouring it into the pot, turning up the fire as he stirred. “Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Merlin, this is going to be a mess,” Severus sighed, reaching over for the wine he’d brought and starting to open it, making Elías eye the bottle. “I cannot be completely sober for this,” he said dryly to Elías.

“I feel bad that I made you wanna drink,” he laughed, smiling a bit.

“No, you’re not,” Severus told him.

“No, I’m not.”

“Glasses?”

“Upper cupboard,” Elías pointed and Severus easily opened it, putting down two wine glasses and filling them with a succulent red. Elías could smell it and he grinned as he reached for his glass, taking a sip. “Oh,  _ wow _ .”

“It’s good,” Severus hummed, taking a sip himself and Elías nodded. 

“It’ll go well with the duck,” he told Severus, stirring, the song changing once more into Etta James. Severus was quiet for a few moments, songs passing by as Elías let it all reduce, adding the salt and pepper and some more rosemary. Then he added the rice, covered the pot and leaned back on the kitchen island, seeing Severus staring.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“How - how can you change the mood so suddenly?” Severus asked.

“I’m bipolar,” Elías joked and Severus started. “No, really - I  _ am _ bipolar but it’s not because of it. I’m changing the mood because there’s nothing we can really do about it  _ right now _ ? So… all we can do is cook the duck and like, enjoy dinner.”

“You’re bipolar,” Severus stated, frowning.

“Yes,” he nodded, looking over at him, cocking an eyebrow, feeling defensive. “Is that a problem?”

“No, just…” Severus looked down at his wine, pensive. “My mother was bipolar.”

Elías’ defensive stance fell, “Oh.”

“Type II,” he explained.

“Yeah, I’m type II as well,” Elías murmured. “How did she do?”

“Bad at first,” Severus explained, pursing his lips. “Then better, with medication. Then horrible by the end of her life.”

“Did she get sick?” Elías asked him softly.

“No,” Severus replied, sounding bitter. “My father shot her in the head and then killed himself when I was seventeen.”

Elías stood still, heart stopping, nearly dropping the wooden spoon into the pot as Severus finished up his glass of wine quickly, putting it aside, making Elías feel absolutely awful for even asking. 

“I…” Elías tried, throat closed up, but Severus lifted his hand.

“It’s fine. Happened a long time ago,” he told Elías. “He was a drunken muggle bastard that let my mother be disowned by her family before beating her near to death whenever he felt like it. We were poor because he did not want my mother to leave for work and he was unable to hold onto any reputable job. When I left for Hogwarts, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life.”

“And because he was a muggle…” Elías began to put two and two together. “And you were sorted into Slytherin…”

“She was a pureblood,” Severus explained and Elías swallowed. “Abandoned by everyone else because she chose  _ wrong _ .”

“Severus, that’s  _ horrible _ ,” Elías murmured. “I -” he stepped a bit closer. “I don’t know what to say, I -”

“Lucius took me under his wing,” Severus explained, watching Elías with a flowing of words that he’d never seen before on the man. Elías didn’t stop him, seeing a confession unfold, serving as a pastor behind a veil with a hand moving to grab his own drink. He’d need it. “He taught me of my mother’s… culture, you know? Told me about the Princes. I could never get close to them, of course, Lucius warned me. When I did try… they were quick to reject me. I strayed closer to the Malfoy’s. And thus, Abraxas Malfoy.”

“Draco’s grandfather,” Elías murmured.

“Horrid man,” Severus explained. “An absolute monster to his daughter. But so very succinct with Lucius and I. By the time he killed her, I was too deep into it all. I didn’t have Lily. I didn’t have anyone else but Lucius, Mulciber and Avery. Gibbon and Yaxley in my year. So we were all within this little group and I felt… like a traitor if I even dared to walk out. Because they were my friends, and I… I knew them. And I knew their struggles. And I loved them.”

Elías just looked sadly at Severus, the potions master watching his glass.

“When I came home after Sixth Year…” he began, taking a deep breath. “Mother was… out of control. She did not appear at King’s Cross. I had learned to apparate but -  _ well _ ,” he laughed dryly. “I didn’t dare go back there. I did not want to. So I left with Lucius.”

Elías knew where this was going, “Sev -”

“If I’d gone back,” he swallowed. “If only I had gone back home instead of… refusing to see her. She was weak, she was lonely, she was  _ sick _ . What kind of son leaves his sick mother with a  _ monster _ at home?”

“Severus, you were  _ seventeen _ ,” Elías breathed, hand moving to touch his arm but Severus’ hand snapped to grip his wrist.

“Only seventeen?” Severus asked, eyes dark before he pushed Elías’ hand away and undid the buttons of his sleeve, opening it, offering it to Elías.

And Gods, it was  _ draining _ to look at it. Before, when he’d seen it, it’d been in a moment of adrenaline. But now, in his home, in this little nook of peace and quiet, it felt  _ wrong _ . Elías stepped back, on instinct, wincing. And Severus quickly tied his sleeve back up, making Elías feel so very guilty. For all the tolerance and sympathy he’d been showing, he still… recoiled.

“I killed a muggle at seventeen,” Severus told him, focused on his buttons and not Elías. “I killed him in cold blood and I  _ liked _ it.”

“Christ, Sev -” Elías choked.

“And I enjoyed all the killings for a while, you know what I felt when this Mark was placed on me?” Severus glared deeply at Elías. “ _ Pride _ . I felt so much  _ pride _ that he’d even think of me as a worthy  _ wizard _ . None of it mattered - the killings, the torture, the spying, the war? It was nothing compared to what that  _ vile creature _ did to my mother. So to me, no matter what we did, we still weren’t  _ as bad as muggles _ .”

Elías was left breathing a bit hard, heart bleeding, hand over his mouth. He felt like he’d never looked at this side of things and it hurt  _ so much _ , to know that this man had… been like this. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to see it.

“Do you regret it?” Elías asked, a bit choked up, and Severus laughed a bit hysterically, rubbing his face.

“Regret it?” Severus asked, turning to Elías. “The only reason I haven’t killed myself is to protect that  _ damn Potter kid _ and do for Lily what I couldn’t while she was alive. I regret  _ everything _ .”

“ _ Severus _ ,” Elías sobbed, hand running through his hair. “Fucking  _ hell _ -”

“You wanted the truth, there it is,” he pursed his lips, watching Elías.

“Gods, fuck,  _ Christ _ ,” Elías sniffled, trying to breathe, his empathy running on high, making his stomach drop to his feet. “Do you still -”

“It comes and goes,” Severus cut in, looking away from Elías. “It… comes and goes.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Elías whispered and he wondered if this is how Remus felt when he’d told him about his own thoughts of suicide. If so… how horrible. “I - Severus, you’re my  _ friend _ , I  _ care _ about you -”

“I know,” Severus whispered, sighing, turning to look at Elías, his eyes conflicted. “I know you do, stupidly.”

“I’m not stupid for caring,” Elías retorted firmly.

“No, you’re stupid for caring about  _ me _ ,” Severus replied. “Your teenagehood bully. The one who pushed you away from your dreams of becoming a potioneer. Someone who’s goaded you into violence, into fights. Someone who alluded to Lupin only caring for you because I thought you were  _ fucking _ him.”

There was bitterness in his voice and Elías realized that he was on a list of regrets that Severus had, his hand reaching over to grip his dark shirt, holding him closer, their chests touching.

“Severus, you’ve changed,” Elías said firmly.

“Barely so -”

“You’ve  _ changed _ ,” Elías pressed, making Severus’ lips close together. “You’re capable of changing, of making things better, of becoming someone  _ better _ .”

“I’m a  _ murderer _ ,” Severus bit out.

“You can’t undo the damage but you can  _ help _ the next generation  _ not _ be murderers,” Elías said, hand reaching for his chin when Severus looked away from his eyes, making sure their stare held. “Gods, I know what it’s like to hate yourself so much that you’d rather just…”

Severus jerked a bit, hand moving to Elías’ elbow. “You -”

“This is not about me right now,” Elías told him firmly. “This is about what you can be, who you can be, Severus.”

“I already told you that there’s not much of me worth  _ bettering _ ,” Severus said to Elías, looking dead serious. “I was a piece of shit back then and I’m still one now.”

“If you truly think so, then  _ strive to be better _ ! You’re already doing so well!” Elías pulled on his shirt, making him lean in a bit, closer for Elías to talk to. “Sev, please,  _ please _ , you gotta believe me on this, I wouldn’t  _ lie _ .”

“I know it’s what you believe,” Severus murmured. “It’s why I think you’re quite stupid. Smart. But stupid.”

“You are  _ so _ stubborn,” Elías told him, eyes burning. “No more self-deprecation. No more  _ I can’t change _ , Sev. You were a very bad person in the past - now we’ve got another chance with those kids. Show them what it means to change. Show them what it means for you to be a  _ good _ man. I know there is one inside, in your heart. I know you’ve got a heart in the first place. I don’t care what you, or anyone else says. I believe in you.”

“Then you’re a fool,” Severus whispered, voice breaking, eyes looking shiny.

“So be it,” Elías replied, pulling him down gently for a hug, going on his tiptoes and holding Severus tightly. “Call me stupid all you want,” he murmured. “I’m not going to let you fade away because nobody believes in redemption anymore.”

“You’re such a -” Severus embraced him back tightly, almost to the point of pain but Elías let him, feeling Severus’ shoulders shake before he suddenly went lax. “You make it so hard for me to hate you.”

“Good,” Elías said, smiling a bit. “I’m going to annoy you for the rest of your long, beautiful, happy life.”

“You’re obnoxious.”

“I’m the  _ life of the party _ ,” Elías laughed, feeling Severus pull back, standing in front of him as Severus tried to discreetly brush at his eyes, rubbing them both with a firm hand. “You okay?” Elías asked softly, hand moving to pat his chest. “That was a heavy conversation.”

“I have  _ no _ idea why I told you any of that,” Severus sighed, pursing his lips before looking over at Elías, shaking his head, grunting, “You’ve got that  _ face _ .”

“What face?” Elías smiled.

“The one -” he rolled his eyes, flicking Elías’ forehead.

“Ow!”

“The one that makes me want to tell you way too much,” Severus finished, looking over at the pot, checking on it. “We should pour the rice.”

“Hmmm, just one more minute,” Elías said as he looked at it, then turned to Severus. “No but really - are you alright, Sev?”

The other Slytherin looked from the pot to Elías, looking like he wanted to be honest but also looking like he wanted to lie to Elías. The Spaniard waited patiently, taking the rice and duck confit and starting to pour it into the pot. Once he’d covered the pot with the glass top and lowered the fire a bit, he turned back to Severus, who looked a bit more calm.

“I’m alright,” he said softly. “I… feel lighter.”

“That’s good,” Elías smiled at him, taking Severus’ glass and filling it with the nice red he’d brought Elías, offering it. “Truly, Sev, I’m glad you do. Maybe you’ll sleep really well tonight.”

“Perhaps,” Severus responded, sipping from his glass, watching Elías. “You… said you knew.”

“About wanting to kill yourself? Oh yeah,” Elías nodded. “I don’t, anymore, for the record. Rest easy, I’m not feeling like that anymore. Especially lately.”

“Is that so?” Severus asked, frowning. 

“Mhmm. I went to therapy, I talked to my family, I have kids to look after and a lot of things to do. Like helping you. And helping those kids. And making Remus see that he isn’t a danger to society and get his head out of his ass,” he sighed.

“I see,” Severus said. “So you live… for others?”

“Not necessarily but… mostly, yes,” Elías confessed. “It’s not - I know it’s not healthy, but it’s a coping thing. At least until I find a reason within myself to live?”

“Can someone find a reason within oneself?” Severus asked quietly.

“I hope so. I’ve been told so,” Elías nodded. “Therapy truly is your best friend, Sev.”

“Who would tend to someone like me?” Severus laughed, shaking his head.

“Anyone who’s actually professional,” Elías told him, firmly. “If you want, I’ll help you look for a therapist.”

“A wizarding one?” Severus asked.

“Well,” Elías laughed a bit. “If you want to talk about things related to wizards, we probably should find one like that, yes.”

Severus didn’t laugh or smile, simply sighing, going back to his wine.

“It’s gonna be hard,” Elías warned.

“I’ll see if I go,” was all Severus said but for Elías, it was enough. He was thinking about it. That was good. “Can we drop this disgustingly depressing conversation now?” 

“Yes,” Elías nodded, giving him a small smile. “It smells good, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” he confessed. “Should we start setting up the table?”

“Don’t you want to eat on the beach?” Elías asked and Severus scowled.

“I hate sand,” he told Elías and Elías gasped.

“Why does  _ everyone _ hate sand? I don’t get it! Sand is great! You’re all so obnoxious about hating sand, oh my Gods!” he laughed, shaking his head. “Fine. We can eat in the garden. Set up the table there.”

“Why do you have a pool when you’ve got the beach beside you?” Severus asked as he opened the garden doors, frowning. “It’s not that big either…”

“Sorry all your friends are rich,” Elías rolled his eyes. “We’ve got the pool because sometimes el levante can get a bit too much. Sand everywhere and not in the fun way, so we go to the pool. The winds can get bad so - yeah.”

“Thus, why people hate sand,” Severus rolled his eyes, waving his wand to set up the table on the wooden garden table that Elías’ father had made when he was sixteen. Still holding up. 

“Weaklings, all of you,” Elías laughed, uncovering the pot and smiling at it. “Oooh, this looks so good, Sev. You’re going to  _ love _ it.”

“Time to impress me,” Severus cocked an eyebrow as he walked forward to the pot, looking over the meal. “Looks… impressive indeed.”

“Here,” Elías took a small spoon, dipping it into the pot, getting a bit of everything before lifting it to Severus. Instead of taking the spoon in his own hand, though, he leaned down and wrapped his lips around it, making Elías’ stomach grow  _ warm _ for a moment, his cheeks darkening a bit. Especially when Severus hummed in that deep voice of his - oh,  _ man _ . 

“Delightful,” Severus whispered, eyes opening to look at Elías.

Elías was  _ fucked _ .


	39. The First Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeh, this isn't the best chapter out there. I know there's a lot of jumps but I wanted to get to many points and wanted to talk about some things without leaving other obvious stuff. I'm not entirely happy with it but I promise next chapter will be better. Sorry!
> 
> Warning:  
> \- Mentions of child abuse

Dumbledore looked up from his desk, probably not expecting to see Elías once again in a suit on Monday morning, entering his office with all the papers he’d need and Harry Potter right behind him, the boy wearing his street clothes, looking nervous. 

“Good morning, Albus,” Elías greeted, ready for war.

“I see,” Dumbledore hummed, eyes moving to Harry, who stared at the floor. “I’m guessing you’re going directly to the Ministry of Magic?”

“It’ll just be for this morning, I promise,” Elías assured, adjusting the cuff of his jacket. “I’ll try to make it quick. We’re only going for CPS.”

“And do you think it’ll do anything?” Dumbledore asked, lips pursed.

“I think it’ll do a hell lot more than what you’ve done so far,” Elías raised his eyebrows, making Harry look up with wide eyes, the kid looking absolutely baffled but Elías was unmoved, standing there, staring at Dumbledore’s old blues. “Are you going to help me?”

“The boy has a family,” Albus said softly, immitating that stupid  _ wise old wizard  _ voice that he’d put on when he’d stopped Elías from telling anyone else about Fawley. “Why does he have to go through all of this suffering?”

“Because you put him in their doorstep in the first place,  _ Albus _ ,” Elías snapped, moving to the chimney, looking at Harry, whose eyes were shiny as he shamefully looked away from Dumbledore. “Don’t you fucking  _ dare _ make him feel bad for this,” the professor hissed at him, Dumbledore standing, looking calm on the outside. Elías knew he was anything but. “Don’t you look at this boy and tell him he doesn’t deserve better. He does.”

“You’re fired,” Dumbledore told him firmly.

“Like  _ hell _ I am,” Elías replied, taking a handful of floo powder and stepping inside, hand on Harry’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. “You can’t afford to lose me.  _ British Ministry of Magic! _ ”

The flames engulfed them and, once inside the corridor, Elías and Harry stepped out of the chimney, moving aside so the flow of people could continue, Elías turning to the boy and giving him a clean, crisp white handkerchief. Harry stopped rubbing at his eyes and reached forward to take it, whispering a quiet, “Thank you, professor.”

“Take your time,” Elías said softly. “We’ve to go to the main entrance so Emilio can come in with us, alright? He won’t say much, he’ll just supervise. For now, he’s here so that everything can have witnesses and be put on record. But if you feel uncomfortable or ready to cry and you’re just feeling overwhelmed? Let me know, yes?”

“Alright,” Harry sniffed a bit, taking a deep breath. “Why… why did Professor Dumbledore not want me to go?”

“Because he has other ideas about family,” Elías said, not wanting to shatter Harry’s view of Dumbledore. Not for Dumbledore, never for him. But for Harry. Because he had only one hero, one mentor, one other person in his life who seemed to care and look after him. And it was fucking Albus. Because the old man knew when to spot weakness and extort it. “He thought the Dursleys would change. And he thought they’d love you. That what you’re going through isn’t as bad, you know.”

“... he fired you,” Harry whispered.

“No, he didn’t,” Elías replied, starting to walk to the entrance, Harry rushing to keep up with him. “He wanted to. But he can’t.”

“Why?” Harry asked.

“If this all goes well, I’ll tell you,” Elías promised him, turning to Harry. “But I can’t tell you as of now. I’m sorry, Harry.”

“Well, at least you’re telling me that there  _ is _ something,” Harry sighed. “Most people deny that they’re hiding things from me.”

“You’re smarter than that,” Elías laughed. “I’m not an idiot. And neither are you. Underestimating people is a mistake.”

“Sometimes I doubt that you’re a Slytherin,” Harry told him. “And then you - you say things like that, professor. I want to trust you but…”

“But what? The adults in your life have all been extremely condescending to you while simultaneously hoping that you’d make adult decisions?” Elías asked and Harry nodded. “That’s being a teenager, Harry. Some people don’t do it but most of the adults you know, will.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Harry told Elías.

“I’m pretty sure you do,” Elías calmed him, lowering the stairs towards the front doors of the Ministry. “But I’m also pretty sure that you’re still young and need some type of guidance, too, yes?”

“Professor Lupin helps me a lot.”

Elías pursed his lips, breathing in and nodding before sighing.

“Yes, he does,” he murmured. “He’s a good man.”

“Are you two fighting, Professor Fernández?” Harry asked and Elías’ eye twitched. “He… he wasn’t at breakfast today.”

“He’s alright. Just tired,” Elías explained softly. “We  _ are _ fighting.”

“Over Saturday,” Harry pressed and Elías sighed, turning around, facing Harry. “Sorry,” the kid immediately said, green eyes wide. “I won’t ask,” he promised. It was a lie.

“Harry, all you have to know is that the kiss was misguided and it won’t happen again,” Elías told him, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Don’t think about it. Don’t worry about it. Focus on your grades, your Quidditch and your friends, alright?”

“Alright, sir,” he nodded.

“Good. Let’s go,” he sighed, finally getting outside, where Emilio was in his own suit, a huge pillar of a man against the rest of London. Elías recognized the mop of blond hair anyway. “Billo!” he called him by his nickname and he turned around, grinning at Elías, marching forward. Once he passed the wards, a few aurors at the sides of the entrance began to approach them. “You got your papers?”

“Straight from the Ministerio,” he nodded at his briefcase, pulling them out, Harry watching the aurors finally reach them.

“Muggles are not permitted to enter the premises,” one began, frowning deeply at Elías, speaking to him and not Emilio despite his size. “The breaking -”

“He’s got a permit,” Elías explained, pointing his thumb at the papers Emilio held, the other auror reaching over to read them - then turning the page to the English part, finally nodding. “Do we need anything to let him pass freely?”

“What department are you headed for?” she asked instead, still holding to Emilio’s permits, making annoyance spike in Elías but Emilio stepped in smoothly.

“We’re headed for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, to report a case of child abuse,” he said firmly, making the auror blanch, looking over at Harry, who was sticking so close to Elías that he might have been hiding against his back. “If you’d like to ask questions to the kid -”

“Go on ahead,” she gave him back the papers hastily, Emilio grasping them without another thought. The other auror reached into a pocket, pulling out a card for Emilio. “As soon as you’re done with your visit, come back here and give this pass back to us. Do not stray away from this wizard. Do not wander around on your own. If there are any incidents regarding your visit, your memory will be wiped and you will be forced out of the premises. Understood?”

“Understood,” Emilio nodded.

With that, the two aurors finally stepped aside and the three of them began to climb back up the stairs into the ministry, Harry breathing out slowly, Emilio glancing at him.

“You dyed your hair green? Really?” he asked, laughing.

“Yeah? It was boring otherwise,” Elías shrugged.

“How’s it in Hogwarts? Any trouble?”

“Dumbledore tried to fire me, ha!” Elías told him.

“Highly illegal, if he tried to fire you for reporting to Child Protection Services,” Emilio said darkly, glancing over at the kid. “You’re Harry, right?”

His accent was much, much thicker than Elías’ and it seemed like Harry struggled for a moment to understand but he nodded and adjusted his glasses, startled when Emilio offered him his hand. Slowly, Harry reached over and shook it, finding Emilio’s firm grip.

“Don’t worry,” he told Harry. “I’m here to make sure you don’t go back to that house.”

“Thank you,” Harry murmured. “Are… you brothers? You look alike.”

“He’s my younger cousin,” Emilio pointed at Elías. “He called me to take care of this.”

“Oh,” Harry said eloquently, looking at Elías’ back, his face changing a bit. “Thank you. Er - thanks.”

“We’ll get you out of this,” Elías told him quietly, finally reaching the center of the Ministry, where the fountains and golden statues were, Harry’s eyes wide as he looked at them for the first time. 

“ _ Pues menudo gasto _ ,” Emilio snorted as he looked at it.  _ “No han mejorado desde la última vez que estuve aquí _ .”

“ _ Son británicos, ¿qué te esperabas? _ ” Elías raised his eyebrows, unimpressed, heading towards an empty elevator. 

The three of them slipped inside, the doors closing and Elías looked over at Harry, the boy nervously looking at the metal bars, obviously nervous.

“How are you doing?” Elías asked him quietly.

“I’m - good,” he replied, swallowing. “N-nervous. I don’t know… what to say.”

“Just focus on answering questions as honestly as you can,” Emilio told him, Harry nodding slowly before he pushed his glasses up his nose, hands shaking. Elías wished he could give the kid a hug but that would have to wait when they got back to Hogwarts. He only wished he’d been able to bring Ron or Hermione here. He was sure they would’ve helped calm Harry down. 

Finally, they arrived, the elevator stopping with a melodic voice coming from the comms in perfect British, “ _ Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services _ .”

“Here we go,” Elías breathed in, stepping out of the elevator, eyes on Harry. “Don’t worry, Harry, we’ll be quick -”

A body  _ slammed _ into Elías’, the wizard quickly scrambling to grasp whomever was about to fall on him, finding a waist and stumbling as he struggled to keep this person standing, coffee splashing all over his jacket. 

“Fuck, shit,  _ fuck _ !” a feminine voice whisper-yelled and Elías blinked, holding onto the waist of a brightly-haired young woman, the coffee cup still in her hand, now empty, all over Elías’ front. “Er… hi there!” she giggled, waving at Elías. “I am  _ so sorry _ ,  _ Merlin _ .”

“It’s fine,” Elías breathed, standing, letting her use his arm to stand up straight. She was surprisingly shorter than him, with a bright, messy ponytail of purple hair and familiar grey eyes. Elías’ mouth went dry.

A Black. Another one.

“Oh, shit, your jacket,” she breathed, looking at it but Elías swiftly took it off, holding it over his arm, eyebrows raised. “Alright, that works,” she put her hands on her hips, sighing. “Truly, I am  _ so sorry _ , I’m just - you know, so distracted today, there’s so many things to do, and the weather is kind of funky today, isn’t it?”

Elías cocked an eyebrow at her, highly amused by her rambling and a bit stunned by how pretty she was, but every single Black he’d met was beyond compare in the beauty department, so he wasn’t too surprised.

“Do you know where Child Protective Services is?” Elías asked her, in lieu of an answer, making her blink before she grinned.

“Ah, yes! I work in that department!” she said, suddenly blinking and looking over at Harry. “Oh.  _ Oh _ ,” she slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. “Oh, I’m  _ so sorry _ . This is so inappropriate.”

While Emilio didn’t look too amused, Elías could tell that Harry was relaxing at his side, and so was Elías, smiling at her.

“Could you show us to the office, then? We’ve an appointment for today,” he explained and the woman nodded, looking at her empty cup before throwing it into the trash. 

“If you’ve an appointment for nine, you must be Elías Fernández, right?” she pointed at him. “Or… any of you three.”

“That’s me,” Elías nodded. “This is my lawyer, Emilio Fernández, and this is Harry. Harry over here will be answering some questions but should he feel uncomfortable -”

“It’s alright,” the woman nodded, smiling over at Harry, making the kid feel much more at ease. “I get it. It’s annoying to retell at best and horrid to talk about at worst. I have some water in my desk and we can sit and talk about this, yes?”

“That’d be nice,” Harry murmured, rubbing his nose. “What’s your name?”

“Oh! Just call me Tonks!” she grinned.

* * *

Emilio left the card back with the aurors and walked out after telling Elías and Harry that they had all they needed for the moment. It was just a matter of waiting now. So Elías and Harry were left outside of the Ministry in the middle of London and lunchtime was soon, so Elías nudged the kid.

“You want to go out to eat?” he asked, smiling a bit, Harry looking much more calm than after he’d finished with Tonks. That woman had been  _ wonderful _ to Harry, Elías could attest, but it turned out that the damage the Dursleys had done had been extensive. Tonks hadn’t even freaked out about it being Harry  _ Potter _ . She’d just nodded and offered Harry a small smile of encouragement.

“Can we?” Harry asked, surprised.

“Don’t care if we can, I’m taking you somewhere you want either way,” Elías laughed, undoing some buttons of his shirt, taking off the tie in his hair and letting it run free. “You’ve gone through a truly awful thing and you did it bravely and head-on. I’m proud of you, kiddo,” he told Harry, ruffling his hair, the boy grinning a bit, looking much better. “A burger?”

“Pizza,” he replied.

“Pizza it is,” Elías laughed, nodding. “Let’s go.”

Elías treated Harry to soda and pizza on a little joint he’d learned about a few years back with his father, and the two enjoyed their lunch in the bustling city of London, the sky overcast but no rain falling at all. The professor listened to Harry talk for longer than he’d ever heard the kid talk - venting about Dursley, about his first months at Hogwarts, about Ron and Hermione’s constant fighting and Draco’s fixation on him ever since he refused to be his friend before the Sorting Ceremony. 

Elías learned a lot about Harry that afternoon, affection growing for him, thinking about how his little cousin Alejandra was about Harry’s age, turning fourteen soon. They were both shy at first and boisterous and talkative later, a little bit too sarcastic for their own goods. Elías would do anything to protect this kid and he was reminded of how Severus, despite his hatred for James, had told Elías that he’d do anything for the safety of Harry.

How Sirius and Remus would, as well.

“How did you get your hands on the map?” Elías asked him as he finished his slice, cleaning his hands on a napkin, making Harry pause as he was reaching for his drink. “Yes, I know it’s a map,” he smirked. “Don’t try and hide it. How did you get it?”

“I don’t want to snitch on anyone,” Harry said, sullen.

“Alright, no names,” Elías accepted, taking a sip of his beer. “But someone did. Passed it on to you?”

“Yes,” Harry nodded. “Since I couldn’t go to Hogsmeade…” he suddenly closed his mouth, realizing what he’d said and Elías’ eyebrows rose.

“Harry James  _ Potter _ ,” Elías began, looking at the kid. “You got  _ out of the castle?! _ ”

“Just a few times!” he promised, eyes wide.

“Sirius Black on is on the loose!” he hissed, watching Harry frown and look away. “Do you want him to catch you, is that it?” he asked, frustrated.

“And what if I do?” he retorted, making Elías freeze. “What if I want to kill him?”

“ _ Harry _ ,” Elías murmured, aghast, leaning forward. “Harry, you don’t mean that.”

“He killed my parents,” Harry murmured, arms crossing, looking furious in a way only a thirteen year old could - no barriers, no holdbacks. “He was their friend… and he killed them.”

“That’s no reason for you to speak about  _ killing _ anyone,” Elías replied, frowning. “Do you know what killing does to you, Harry? Do you know what it means to take a life?”

“He deserves it,” Harry said, voice thick. “Because of him, they’re  _ gone _ .”

“Because of Black, and Voldemort, and many,  _ many _ others, your parents are gone. Killing Sirius Black won’t bring your parents back, Harry,” Elías said softly. “I understand that you’re angry and you feel… like you can’t really do anything. But I promise that if you kill Black, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“I just -” Harry struggled to find the words, hands moving to run through his messy hair. “I’m so  _ tired _ about everyone else knowing my parents when I don’t know  _ anything _ . Hagrid - he gave me an album of pictures of them.”

Elías felt a pang on his chest, watching the kid sniffle.

“Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon tell me the most awful things,” he whispered. “Hagrid can’t tell me much. And those who did know them… only tell me what they looked like. I want to know who they were, professor. That’s all I want. I want to know them.”

Elías watched Harry, watched his frustrated tears as he used his too-big hoodie sleeve to rub at his nose, looking so angry at the world that Elías wondered how he’d gotten past everything. This boy needed to talk to someone - someone  _ professional _ who could help him. He was a war orphan, he was surrounded by the greatest expectations, even from those who were supposed to protect him - such as Dumbledore. Elías felt almost as if Sirius was right behind him, hand on his shoulder, pushing him towards Harry.

Sirius wasn’t here. So Elías would play the part.

“Alright,” Elías hummed, taking his chair and moving next to Harry, smiling at him. “You want to know? I’ll help you know. I don’t have all the information, I didn’t know your parents. But I do know a lot of things that others have told me about them. About their everyday lives. About the kind of people that they were. What do you want to know?”

Harry turned to him, surprised, looking at Elías with wide eyes. “You… you’d tell me?”

“Yes, I would. Although I know someone who’s more qualified for the job, though.”

“Who?” Harry asked, eyes wide.

* * *

Elías knocked on Remus’ door, waiting, knowing he was either still at the Shack with Sirius or here to recuperate a bit. Maybe he’d gone to class, the absolute madman, exhausted from the full moon. But no, when Elías stepped back, the door opened, revealing a very tired but very much functioning Remus Lupin, bags under his eyes but looking perfectly fine otherwise, even by normal standards. Sirius beside him… it’d done a lot of good.

“Harry,” Remus whispered, looking like he’d been stripping down to go to bed, his jacket off, his shirt slightly unbuttoned. “Elías. Merlin, come in, come in -”

The two entered Remus’ rooms and Elías closed the door behind him, seeing Crookshanks lounging on his couch, meowing loudly as he saw Elías and rushing to rub against his ankles, making Elías coo, picking up the little beast.

“I’ve missed you too,” he grinned, kissing the top of his head, scritching him, making Harry laugh a bit. “He likes me!”

“I can tell. He likes no one but Hermione,” Harry spoke, then paused. “Actually, he only seems to like you.”

“How did it go?” Remus asked them, making Harry and Elías turn to him, the professor watching them expectantly. “Did - did it go through?”

“It went through,” Elías nodded and Remus let out a sigh of relief, giving a wide smile to Harry, ruffling his hair as Harry returned the small beam.

“I’m so very glad,” he told Harry. “How do you feel?”

“Like things are finally changing,” Harry confessed softly. “Like… like I won’t always have to go back to them.”

“I hope you don’t,” Remus told him softly.

“Well, I have a small favor to ask of you,” Elías spoke up, making Remus turn to him, surprised. “Could I have a word with you? In private?”

Remus hesitated, looking over at Harry for a moment before nodding, leading Elías over to his bedroom, Elías closing the door behind him as Harry sat down next to the Crookshanks, scritching him under his chin. Once the two of them were alone, Remus ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath, looking at Elías with an exhausted, sad look.

“You look good,” he said quietly and Elías wanted to punch him.

“Don’t,” he told Remus, wincing. “Just -  _ don’t _ . I’m here to - to ask you for something. I’ll forgive you if you do it, whatever, it’s for Harry.”

“I - no, it’s alright, what is it?” he asked softly, eyes soft, on Elías.

“He wants to know about James and Lily,” he told Remus, making him freeze. “Remus, kid just wants to know about his parents, for Christ’s sake. He wants to know who they were from someone who actually knew them. Please.  _ Please _ . Tell him some stories. Tell him about their wedding, the pregnancy. Tell him of the good times,  _ I beg of you _ .”

“Did he ask for them?” Remus asked quietly.

“Yes,” Elías nodded and Remus walked past him, opening the door, making Harry turn to him. Remus nudged Crookshanks but the cat didn’t move from his spot, opening a single yellow eye to watch the werewolf. Remus hesitated, then sat down on the coffee table, making Harry laugh and Elías snort, the latter shifting into his cat form and moving to lay half on top of Crookshanks, the other beast allowing it.

“Whoa! You’re a cat?!” Harry asked, eyes wide, looking at the snowy white creature. “You… look like you do, professor. Only in cat form.”

“You know, he kind of does,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head, reaching over to scritch Elías before the Astronomy professor bit his finger - not hard. Just bit it and held on. “Alright, I deserve that,” he sighed, turning to Harry. “You want to know about Lily and James, yes?”

“You knew them?” Harry asked, surprised.

“Yes,” Remus nodded, reaching into his pocket to drop the map on his lap, Elías moving a bit forward to do kitty biscuits on Harry’s side, the boy moving his hand to scritch him unconsciously. Elías purred loudly, making the boy look at him with surprise. “He uh, likes to be pet as a cat,” he explained, chuckling. “Yes, I knew your parents.”

“How close were you?” Harry asked softly.

“Well, considering your father, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and I made that map…” he gestured at it, making Harry freeze. “We were four friends, Harry, back in Hogwarts. James was one of my best friends. He was one of the first friends I ever made.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry looked hurt, gripping the map between his hands, eyes seeking Remus’. “Why - why didn’t you let me know?”

“I didn’t -” Remus sighed, rubbing his face. “Look, I wanted to take you seriously, Harry. I’m quite sure that in your time at Hogwarts, you’ve had plenty of  _ you look like James with Lily’s eyes _ . I didn’t want to be another person pointing out how painful it is that you didn’t get to know them, while I selfishly did.”

“It’s not selfish,” Harry said quietly, looking down at the blank map. “Just unfair,” he finished, swallowing. “You… knew Sirius Black.”

“Let’s not talk of him,” Remus told Harry gently. “Focus on your parents. What do you want to know?”

“How - what kind of man was my father?”

“A good man,” Remus gave a small, sad smile. “James was a right git at first. A bit too cocky, a bit too arrogant, a bit too egocentric. But he loved those around him very much. He was very close to your grandparents, while they were alive. He loved cats. And he loved his friends. Despite his faults, he always strived to be a better person. And he was a natural-born leader, too. He just… had a handle of pressure. He could handle it well, wherever it went. He was smart about money and smart about business - due to his father, mostly. Er… he disliked the mountain a lot because he liked running? It was the one other thing he did when he wasn’t on a broom. Hmm… what else?” 

Remus rubbed his chin, thinking, a small smile on his lips as Harry listened avidly.

“Oh, right -” Remus laughed, grinning at Harry. “He was a very big prankster. And - well, so were the four of us,” he chuckled. “We… were much like your friends, the Weasley twins. We started a lot of feuds between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, including the infamous Slippers Accident of ‘77.”

“That was you?!” Harry laughed. “That stuff is legendary!”

“We began all those,” Remus chuckled, rubbing his nose. “And Merlin, Lily  _ hated the pranks _ .”

“She did?” Harry asked, eyes bright.

“Mhmm,” he nodded, chuckling. “Your father - ah, bless him, he was an absolute  _ idiot _ when it came to women. Honestly, it’s rather impressive that he finally matured enough during Seventh Year for Lily to even consider dating him. She was… fiery. Full of passion. The bravest woman I’ve ever met, Harry. And the most honest. She was always a beacon of light and she wasn’t afraid to throw down when it was needed. She was prefect and, later, Head Girl of our year.”

“Wow,” Harry breathed, eyes sparkling. “Did she play Quidditch?”

“She could, but she didn’t like it much,” Remus chuckled. “She ah, was like me. We were more inclined towards academics. She enjoyed German literature and abhorred poetry. Prose was her favorite. She liked mystery novels, ah, Agatha Christie? Those were her favorite. I… I got her a collection of her books when we were nineteen,” he told Harry.

“Agatha Christie,” Harry murmured. “Mystery, you say?”

“Murder mysteries,” Remus chuckled. “The more grisly, the better.”

“You’re joking,” Harry seemed delighted, letting Crookshanks move onto his lap, still scritching Elías between his ears. “She liked that?”

“She also loved horror movies,” Remus nodded. “Just… made me go to the cinema with her. A lot. And I don’t like horror movies but she always convinced me. We were close.”

Harry smiled, watching Remus with shiny eyes, “What other things did she like?”

“Disco music,” Remus groaned, rubbing his face, making Elías’ ears twitch. “Disco and funky. She  _ loved _ Michael Jackson. Oh, Harry, it was  _ torture _ . She was always ready to make anything her dance floor but if I hear  _ Blame It On the Boogie _ one more time, I’ll implode.”

Harry burst out laughing, leaning back against the couch, Elías watching his entire body relax, happiness evident. It was disheartening to think that this was the most he’d ever heard from them.

“What music did my father like?” Harry asked.

“Rock. Classic rock. He  _ really _ liked Queen,” Remus hummed. “We all did. We went to one of their concerts, together, when we were uh, twenty? A month before your mother told us all that she was pregnant with you. James got so excited that he forgot his wallet and we were almost late,” he laughed. “I don’t enjoy concerts, I’m not… one for crowds. But I did enjoy that one. A lot. It’s a very pleasant memory.”

“How did you meet?” Harry asked and, from then on, it was just question after question after question from Harry, Remus looking tired but quickly perking up as he remembered and relished with Harry. Elías relaxed, curling into a little shrimp of a cat, eyes closing as the two of them spoke and, before he knew it, the hardness of the day had caught up with him and he was falling asleep.

* * *

Elías awoke much, much later, almost at dinner time, opening his eyes as he was poked a prodded. He quickly closed them, feeling the light of the chimney too strong, burying his little face into the crook of his paws instead of facing whomever was trying to talk to him.

“I’ve tried that twice, he won’t budge,” came Remus’ sigh.

“I see,” Severus hummed before Elías felt a pair of hands pick him up, making him meow miserably. “Don’t you  _ chirp _ at me,” Severus glared as he lifted Elías so that the Spaniard would finally look at him. “You would’ve missed dinner. I made you a promise. Even if you’re a lazy cat.”

Elías licked the tip of his nose, grateful, and Severus rolled his eyes, letting him move to his shoulders where Elías curled around his neck, still too lazy to go back to human.

“Thank you,” Remus spoke and Elías looked over at him, finding him looking so much better than when he and Harry had arrived - where was Harry? Elías looked around, tail curling around Severus’ neck as his little peets moved to the top of his head, trying to look over the two men around the room. Gods, Severus was so  _ tall _ . “If you’re looking for Harry,” Remus began, making Elías turn to him with interest. “He left a long time ago. It’s seven in the afternoon.”

Okay, so Elías had been a bit tired -

“How  _ long _ did you sleep?” Severus asked and Elías lowered back to his shoulders.

“ _ Mmeow _ ,” was all Elías said and Severus grunted.

“You’re lucky it’s my turn to cook,” he sighed, turning around. “Goodbye, Lupin.”

“Goodnight,” he called and Elías turned to look at him as Severus walked out of his office, Elías slipping down Severus’ back to walk on the floor, stretching hard, following Severus with a little chirp. 

“I heard about what you did this morning,” Severus began, most of the hallways empty and Elías felt a bit of amusement as he realized just how much  _ hair _ he’d left on Severus’ clothes. Hehe. “You’re  _ insane _ .”

“You could say so,” Elías said as he shifted back again, straightening his dress shirt, cocking an eyebrow at Severus. “But when I came back, Dumbledore didn’t say a word. And the case went through. And now the Dursleys will be investigated and busted for being pieces of shit. And Harry will be able to find a new home.”

“You called CPS on the family Dumbledore chose,” Severus told him.

“Yeah, well Dumbledore needs  _ me _ , so he can suck my balls for all I care,” Elías scowled, brow furrowing as Severus’ eyebrows shot up. “The kids come first.  _ Then _ all of us pesky adults.”

“I see how it is,” Severus said, serious, looking over at Elías with strange eyes before he cleared his throat, looking ahead. “Tonight I thought we’d go for German.”

“Oh, delightful,” Elías smiled brightly. “Where do you get these recipes?”

“This one is from a potioneer I met back in Aachen, as I was finishing my apprenticeship,” Severus explained, barking at a pair of students that were running to slow down, their terrified faces making Elías give them a smile, just to calm them down.

“I’ve a cousin who lives in Aachen,” Elías told him.

“How fortuitous.”

“We’re going to Spinner’s End, then?” Elías asked.

“Yes,” Severus nodded. “Do you have somewhere to be, soon?”

“I have class at eleven,” Elías nodded. “So we’ve got around four hours. Think we can make do, Professor Snape?”

“We’ll manage.”

* * *

“Hello, angel.”

“Hello, Sirius,” Elías greeted as he shifted back to human, approaching Sirius with the very generous amount of leftovers from dinner, warm and succulent roast beef stew. “I’ve brought you dinner! I’m guessing that you finished your soup, so I got you some of the  _ sauerbraten _ that I had for dinner.”

“It smells  _ so good _ ,” Sirius breathed, sitting up properly on the bed. He looked a lot better, his fever mostly gone and his voice back to normal. He gratefully took the fork and knife that Elías handed him and the Spaniard sat down on the mattress, sighing deeply, exhausted from the Seventh Year class he’d just had. “So how was your day?”

“Exhausting,” Elías confessed, hand moving to pet Crookshanks, the little scoundrel still here to keep Sirius company. “In the morning I went to the Ministry of Magic with Harry. I reported the Dursleys to CPS and I’m going to get Harry to a better home.”

“Moony told me, yeah. Thank you for that,” Sirius nodded, biting into the potato dumpling and moaning a bit. “This is  _ so good _ . You’re an amazing cook.”

“Wasn’t me,” Elías chuckled and Sirius looked up from his plate, frowning. “This was the dinner I made with Severus.”

“Snivellus made this?”

Elías’ hand flew to the back of his head, a practiced move by now, and smacked him upside the head, making Sirius whine and reach to rub the sore spot.

“What did I say?” Elías began, sighing.

“Sorry, sorry, force of habit,” Sirius groaned. “So. You and Snape made this.”

“Yes.”

“In the kitchens?”

“His home,” Elías rolled his eyes as Sirius blinked at him. “We’re  _ friends _ , alright? Leave it be.”

“Talking about you and S… Snape,” Sirius began, pointing a fork at Elías. “How did that happen, anyway? He’s as prickly as a cactus and I’m pretty sure you’ve to be a Slytherin for him to even look your way without screaming.”

Elías paused, giving Sirius a very, very amused look, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“What House do you think I was in?” Elías asked.

“Well, you’re Spanish, so… I’m guessing you don’t have a House,” Sirius blinked. “Altavista doesn’t have the House system, anyway.”

“I went to Hogwarts,” Elías laughed.

“Oh.  _ Oh! _ ” Sirius looked over at him, then at the snake tattoo coiled in his arm, the silver jewelry, the green hair, his restrained, amused look and suddenly it dawned on him, face changing into one of horror. “ _ Oh no… _ ”

“Hiss hiss, motherfucker,” Elías stuck his tongue out and hissed a bit for effect.

“You’re a  _ Slytherin _ ?!” Sirius asked, stunned in his seat, eyes wide. “I - but -  _ angel, how could you do this to me _ ?!”

“Maybe that oughtta teach you not to judge by House, hmm?” Elías asked, rolling his eyes, watching Sirius sputter a bit, trying to process the new information. “Is that so bad? That a Slytherin helped you out?”

“Is there something you want out of this?” Sirius asked, frowning, and Elías felt a spike of hurt run through him. He’d known that people had a bias against his old House but  _ Gods _ , for Sirius to just outright throw away everything Elías had done for him?

“You’re being a dick,” Elías told him, frowning deeply. “Nothing’s fucking changed, Sirius. I’m still Elías Fernández Oviedo. I’m still a cat animagus. I’m still  _ angel _ , as annoying as that fucking nickname is. I’ve been a Slytherin the whole time.”

Sirius looked uncomfortable, looking away, “Sorry,” he murmured. “I just…”

“Family trauma,” Elías summarized dryly and Sirius gave a laugh.

“Pretty much,” he sighed, rubbing his face. “Merlin, I feel like I’m going insane here, waiting for my ankle to be fine.”

“It’s why I got you this,” Elías spoke, digging his hand into the purse before pulling a little, almost rectangle shaped little machine from it, handing it to Sirius, smiling. “Here.”

“What… is this?” Sirius asked, frowning, looking at the clunky grey thing.

“It’s a videogame console,” Elías explained. “Muggle thing. You play games in it.”

“Games?” Sirius watched it curiously, smiling a bit. “What kind of games?”

“Well, I got you a few,” Elías said, pulling out the cartridges, watching Sirius pick them up and go through them. “These are all different games. I’m prone to accidents and, when I used to be stuck at home in the summers with a broken foot or arm, my cousin Jaime would come over and we’d play videogames. I thought it’d help you out? Because being stuck here I’m sure isn’t fun, especially recovering. We’ve got to make sure you’re a tiptop shape and I… well, I don’t use my GameBoy anymore. So I thought you could use it.”

“You’re giving it to me?” Sirius asked, frowning a bit at Elías.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “I mean, Remus did say that you’re not a big reader, so… yeah.”

“That’s -” Sirius groaned, rubbing his face. “Fuck, angel, now I feel bad about the Slytherin thing.”

“Good. You should feel bad,” Elías laughed, moving to sit next to him, taking the Final Fantasy Adventure cartridge and sticking it in. “C’mon, let me show you how to play - and how you how to recharge the battery with - well, I brought an electricity stone, since you’ve no wand yet? You could use it to charge it, it’s… it’s no wand, but it’s something to put your magic into. I know some squibs can even use it.”

“That’s genius,” Sirius gave a little laugh, jumping as Elías turned on the GameBoy. “It plays sounds!”

“It does,” Elías nodded, chuckling.

“Muggles are amazing,” Sirius grinned, delighted.

And for a good amount of the night, Elías and Sirius played Final Fantasy Adventure, the Spaniard explaining the rules of videogames, how the machine worked, Sirius’ eyes taking in everything with a delight Elías hadn’t even had the first time he’d played with a GameBoy. They spoke of other things, too - about Harry, what had happened in the afternoon at Remus’ rooms, the way Dumbledore had acted, Elías’ dinner with Severus.

They spoke for a while, and for so long that Elías didn’t even notice he was tired until he’d finally fell asleep on the old, dingy mattress, Sirius looking over as he breathed calmly. The wizard turned down the volume of the console, reached for the corner of the blanket around him and pulled it over Elías, nodding to himself.

Slytherin or not, the bloke was alright.


	40. No More Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is a bit better and it's finally here. I want to thank everyone in the discord server who always motivates me to do better and be a better writer, while simultaneously rubbing my hands like a villain whenever anything mysterious happens. In any case, thank you, server!
> 
> Songs:  
> \- Lust for Life by Iggy Pop  
> \- Sugar, We're Going Down by FOB
> 
> Trigger warning:  
> \- mention of child abuse

On Thursday noon, the 20th of March, Elías found himself hauling Theodore’s present up the Astronomy Tower, grunting as he realized, one it was in the classroom, that he could’ve just used his magic to do it. Sometimes he hated being a muggleborn.

He was sweating but he was ready to set it up, sitting down on the floor, taking the tools to set it up as he began to play _London Calling_ by the Clash. He’d picked up something quick for breakfast and come directly from San Fernando the moment he’d got it, if only because he didn’t trust any other instrument shop than his usual. 

“Is that a drum set?”

Elías turned to the door, watching Remus walk in, the surprise in the defense professor’s face evident. Elías nodded, scooting closer so he could work on the bass drum. 

“Yep,” he called. “Theodore wants to learn how to play drums.”

“So you got him a _set_?”

“I got it from my usual luthier, the man owes me one. This was cheaper than you think,” Elías assured him, moving on to the snare drum. “And yes, I did. I heard it’s his birthday today and I was going to get it anyway so - yeah.”

“That child is going to _love_ you,” Remus chuckled, leaning against the wall, watching Elías work, his eyes roaming the sure way in which he handled the instruments. “Do you know how to play those?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded. “In any case, I also got Theo some books so he could come here and practice whenever he wants.”

“It’ll make noise,” Remus told him.

“Not if I’ve put a soundless enchantment into the classroom,” Elías threw back.

“Alright, alright. Cheeky,” Remus chuckled.

“Is there anything you want?” Elías asked, not unkindly, simply curious. Remus wasn’t pulling the guilty eyes or the self-flagellating look, which was a welcome change. 

“I wanted to talk to you, if possible?” Remus asked.

“Is it to apologize again?” Elías sighed.

“Partly,” Remus admitted. “But also just… really talk.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, moving back from the kit, standing as he moved the stool in place and sat on it, drumsticks in hand. “Lay it on me, Lupin.”

“First off,” he sighed, moving to sit on the floor, watching Elías. He looked like he’d slept well, which was the first thing that came to mind. Elías was pretty sure he’d stayed to sleep with Sirius last night, after the three of them had shared the dessert Elías had made for dinner at Spinner’s End. Severus had told him that he didn’t enjoy sweets too much but he’d eaten his slice of cheesecake surprisingly fast. “I want to tell you that I understand now why calling myself stupid to apologize is just… bad.”

“So far, so good,” Elías nodded, eyebrows raising at the professor.

“Second,” Remus continued, rubbing his jaw. “I may have been stupid but it’s not just a fluke. I… I was close to the full moon and I was out of control but I could’ve perfectly told you that instead of saying _I’m lonely_. It’s not fair to you, Elías. And it’s especially shitty of me after you confessed… that you had feelings for me.”

“Have,” Elías corrected, making Remus jerk a bit, eyes wide. “No sense in lying, Remus.”

“Right,” he murmured, swallowed, looking guilty. “Um… yes, so - I spoke with Sirius.”

“Oh no,” Elías began but Remus shook his head.

“No, no, Sirius is - Sirius is _good_ at helping me… pull my head out of my arse,” Remus sighed, hand running through his hair. “Look, I - I am sorry that I treated you like someone I could use to feel less lonely. You’re my friend, you’re one of my _best_ friends and I don’t want you to ever think that you deserve to be treated like an object. Like - the way I treated you. So for that, I am sorry, Elías. I promise that it won’t happen again.”

Elías pursed his lips, watching the drumsticks in his hand, taking a deep breath before exhaling loudly. It felt nice, the apology. Like a real one, instead of Remus trying to put himself down and using Elías to do so.

“I accept your apology,” Elías told him and Remus closed his eyes, deflating, giving out an incredulous little laugh. “But don’t - don’t do it again, yeah?”

“I won’t,” Remus nodded, watching Elías a bit sadly. “I… can I say that I’ve missed you?”

“It’s been less than a week, Remus,” Elías chided softly, smiling despite it all.

“I know,” Remus replied, giving back a small beam. “But I’ve missed you.”

“You -” Elías almost threw his drumstick at him, Remus ducking already, the two laughing for a moment before Elías sighed. “Damn, I always wanted a drum kit of my own. I’ve only played back in college, because my roommate played as well.”

“Oh?” Remus looked interested at the instrument. “Can you play, then?”

“Yep. I’m just rusty,” Elías pulled back his sleeves, foot moving to the pedal, trying every drum and cymbal for a moment before he took a deep breath. “Alright, anything you want?”

“I can ask for a song?” Remus blinked. “Er… I don’t know anything with good drums. You know I’m not that savvy with music.”

“Alright, then,” Elías thought for a moment, trying to see which song to play. A smile suddenly took over his face and he got ready, looking over at Remus. “I’m gonna play the whole song, you ready?”

“Yes,” Remus smiled, moving back a bit so he wouldn’t be pounded in the face with the loudness of the instrument, sitting on one of the student desks.

Elías took a deep breath, “A one, a two, a one, two, three, four -”

He began to play, feeling the power and beat of the drums under him, already starting to grin, letting the guitars, piano and bass flood in with his magic while he set the rhythm easily. If he’d looked up at Remus, he would’ve seen that he recognized the song. Then Elías began to sing, not caring if he sounded good at all. That was the magic of Iggy Pop.

“ _Here comes Johnny Yen again! With the liquor and drugs - and the flesh machine!_ ” he sang, arms moving easily through the instrument, slowly oiling his limbs back to what they’d been on this instrument. “ _He's gonna do another striptease. Hey man where'd you get that lotion? I been hurting! Since I bought the gimmick - about something called love - yeah something called love!_ ”

Remus laughed and Elías looked over at him, seeing his delight. Drums often had that effect on people, it wasn’t an instrument that many gave much thought to but once they were in front of it, it was hard not to. Elías simply kept playing, going through _Lust for Life_ with ease until the song was finally over and his arms were aching a little bit. He’d missed that ache. He’d missed certain aches from instruments he didn’t often play.

“How was that?” Elías laughed, hands on his knees.

“That was _incredible,_ ” Remus was beaming. “It looked like so much fun. I’ve heard this song before, too. Sirius really likes it.”

“Of course he does,” Elías grinned. “Does he play any instruments?”

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “Guitar and violin.”

“Oh, I should bring my guitar tonight, then!” Elías gasped. “That’d be fun!”

“I’m sure he’d love it,” Remus leaned in a little bit, hesitating before - “Hey, you - want to go to dinner to Hogsmeade tonight? Not like - not as a _date_ , I’m not -” Remus let out a deep sigh. “Merlin, I always put my foot in my mouth - I mean as in… inviting you to dinner and doing something nice for you.”

“Well, tonight Severus and I are going to San Fernando to cook something for dinner, would you like to come?” Elías asked and Remus paused.

“He’s going there?” he asked, voice strained and Elías frowned.

“Yeah, we’ve been going one night his place, one night my place,” Elías pursed his lips. “Is that a problem to you?”

“Oh, no! No, no, I just -” Remus hesitated. “I don’t think Severus would appreciate me going with you two, is all.”

“Well, you and I are friends. So he better get used to it,” Elías shrugged, pedalling a cymbal and frowning as it caught a bit, starting to work on that. 

“What if he doesn’t?” Remus asked.

“Then he can suck on a lemon,” Elías replied, making Remus chuckle. “We’re adults here, Remus. Time to stop the petty little disputes of the past.”

“It went past petty,” Remus admitted.

“It’s petty _now_ ” Elías told him. 

“I suppose,” the werewolf finally gave in. “Still. You won’t get Sirius and Severus in the same room without them trying to kill each other.”

“Oh, I already know,” Elías snorted. “The other day Sirius found out I’m a Slytherin -”

“Yes, I heard all about that,” Remus laughed. “He looked so betrayed. Poor bloke. He had you at very high standards, though.”

“Did he?” Elías rolled his eyes.

“He’s still very grateful to you,” Remus explained, letting his elbow rest on his knee and his chin on the heel of his hand. “He just doesn’t know where you’re coming from. And I understand him a bit, you’re… weird.”

“I’m Spanish, and you all aren’t used to the way we Spaniards work,” Elías said, pedalling, satisfied with the cymbal now before he stood, leaving the drumsticks on the side as he stretched. “I’ve only seen him a couple of times, too. And mostly just to keep him alive.”

“That’s true,” Remus nodded. “Maybe you should visit more often.”

“Maybe,” Elías yawned a bit, turning to Remus, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s go to Hogsmeade for lunch. Fuck it. You’ll come to dinner another day. I don’t feel like having to be a mediator tonight.”

“Alright,” Remus gave a small smile, standing, walking over to Elías. “I’ll invite you.”

“Suit yourself,” Elías chuckled, watching Remus as the Gryffindor began to move to the door before suddenly grabbing his sleeve. “Remus, wait -”

Remus turned, eyes on Elías, a bit surprised as he saw the Slytherin hesitate, eyes roaming his face before dropping to the floor. Slowly, Remus turned fully to Elías, giving him his undivided attention making Elías swallow.

“I’ve to be honest,” the Spaniard murmured. “I… I’ve missed you, too.”

Remus let out a short, surprised breath and, before Elías knew it, the two of them locked into a tight embrace, Elías’ face pressed to his chest, feeling his heart ricochet between his lungs. Remus was _so warm_ , he’d missed his touch so much. It was insane, how much he cared for Remus, and he partly hated it and loved it, how close he was to the man.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said again.

“Shut up, just shut up and hug me,” Elías breathed and he felt Remus’ arms grow a bit tighter. “I just want to forget this whole fiasco.”

“Me too,” Remus sighed, kissing the top of his head and Elías melted a bit. “Let’s go to lunch, alright?” he pulled back, hands on Elías’ arms, squeezing gently. “And we can get some sugar quills and chocolate frogs, as well.”

“You got it,” Elías smiled, following after him, out of the classroom. “I have to talk to Hagrid before we leave, though. The appeal for Buckbeak has been sent…”

* * *

“I’m going to kill her -”

“No, you’re not, he deserved it -”

“Theo!”

“Let’s be real, he deserved it.”

“Blaise!”

“She _broke my nose_ ,” Draco whined, holding onto it.

“And almost gave you a concussion, too,” Vince laughed, going quiet when Pansy glared at him, dabbing the blood away from Draco’s mouth. “I’m just saying, _have you come to see the show_ isn’t the greatest thing to tell those three.”

“She has a mean right hook,” Greg nodded, looking impressed.

Theodore laughed from his spot on the bed, watching Draco struggle to come to terms with losing a fight against Hermione. He wished he’d been there, if only to see Draco’s ego pop like a balloon. He loved his friend dearly but sometimes Draco could be too much.

“Did you get anything for your birthday from the owls?” Blaise asked Theo, closing his book of medieval poetry. 

“No,” Theodore shrugged. “It’s to be expected, honestly. He can barely remember I exist, why would he remember my birthday?”

“He’s a wanker,” Draco threw, dropping between Theodore and Blaise, Pansy sitting on the armchair with Greg. “We’ll celebrate ourselves.”

“We could ask Professor Fernández for the Astronomy Tower!” Vince called.

“Yes!” Pansy nodded, her grin wide. “Grab something from the kitchens - mother said she was sending you a cake!”

“So is my mother,” Draco laughed, making Theo grin. “She said in Easter you can come over to mine, Theo, and we’ll properly celebrate, yeah? Make a big party.”

“I’d like that,” Theo murmured, feeling Draco’s fingers move to his, squeezing softly, Vince moving to rest his back against the couch as he sat on the floor. “We could ask Professor Fernández for the Tower tonight. D’you think he’d mind?”

“He’d do anything for you, Theo,” Pansy laughed. “You’re his favorite.”

“No, I think Potter is,” Theodore replied, sighing as he rubbed the back of his neck. “You all heard, right?”

“About the CPS investigation?” Blaise asked and Pansy’s jaw dropped. “I heard.”

“No, no, I didn’t hear! What’s going on?!” she gasped, hand moving to Greg’s shoulder as she leaned in and Greg quickly wrapped an arm around her waist so she wouldn’t fall.

“Professor Fernández took Potter to CPS,” Blaise explained, leaning back on his couch. “Apparently, he and Dumbledore had a _fight_.”

“A fight?” Greg laughed, a bit nervously, then went quiet when Blaise’s face didn’t change. “Professor _Fernández_ fought with Dumbledore?!”

“Yes,” Blaise leaned his head against his hand, watching his friends with a glint in his eye, the one that spoke of devilish amusement. Blaise hated Dumbledore. “And he _won_.”

“No way,” Draco said, eyes wide. “He _won_?”

“He took Potter to the Ministry of Magic,” Blaise nodded. “And I mean, I don’t know why Dumbledore would want to fuck over Potter, but it seems like Professor Fernández really doesn’t care what Dumbledore thinks.”

“It makes sense, though, doesn’t it?” Greg spoke, frowning. “Professor Fernández doesn’t like favoritism. He gives everyone equal treatment.”

“But he took Potter to CPS,” Vince spoke up. “And not Theo.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Theodore sighed, knocking gently on Vince’s head. “ _Obviously_ , he can make a case against muggles but not my father. He’s a muggleborn. There’s only so much he can do with my father.”

“Do you think he would if he could?” Draco asked, pulling his legs up onto the couch.

Theodore shrugged, “I dunno. He’s nice to me and all but…” he frowned. “Potter’s a golden boy, you know? He - he’s worth something to everyone.”

“You’re worth a thousand Potters,” Pansy stated firmly, eyes dark. “And whoever says that’s not true, then they’re an idiot and they don’t deserve you.”

“I think Professor Fernández would do it,” Vince said quietly, making everyone turn to him, almost hopeful. “If you told him -”

“He very obviously knows,” Blaise said. 

“Mother said that even father liked him,” Draco told Theodore. “So… maybe my parents could help him do it? He’s a muggleborn, he’s got nothing to lose, right?”

“Except his job,” Theodore replied, making Draco fall quiet. “It’s fine, alright? It’s just a couple of times a year. It’ll be fine. I’ve got all of you, after all.”

“Yes, you do!” Greg laughed, throwing Pansy at him, the girl squeaking as she fell over Vince, Draco and Theo, a laughing heap on the couch. “You’ve got all of us! Forever!”

“Yeah!” Pansy giggled, accidentally kicking Vince’s shoulder, making him groan. “Sorry, sorry! Hey, come on - let’s ask Professor Fernández for the tower, yeah? And we’ll make plans for tonight!”

“Yeah!”

The six of them scrambled up, Blaise moving to Draco for a moment to check on his head and nose before they all took off and Theodore noticed the flush to Draco’s cheeks, the way he avoided Blaise’s gaze. Theodore’s eyebrows shot up and he wondered when exactly _that_ happened and if there was finally a reason why he’d been so against Blaise and Granger.

“We’ve got potions in half an hour, come on! I wanna make sure we can get to him before he leaves the tower!” Pansy called for Draco and Blaise, the latter who nodded, walking towards the group. “How do you all feel about the exam?”

“Like shite,” Theodore mumbled.

"It’ll be fine,” Draco nudged him. “It’s just gonna be an antidote, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, but I’m awful at potions,” Theodore sighed. “I can never seem to get it right.”

“I’ll throw you some answers if you’re stuck,” Pansy assured. “But in this exam I’m paired with Vince, we should see how we can arrange everything.”

“I’ll go with Theo,” Draco told them.

“It’s you and me, then, Greg,” Blaise told the tallest of them, Greg giving a wide grin and a thumbs up.

Just as they were exiting the dungeons, Theo caught a glance of Professor Fernández and Professor Lupin about to walk out of the castle, making Pansy grab Theo’s arm and _pull_ , Theodore nearly falling face-first into the floor as he struggled to keep up.

“Professor!” Pansy waved frantically and Fernández and Lupin paused, the Spaniard looking so happy to see them and Theodore felt the telltale tug of his heart. He liked this professor a lot. Whenever he was around, Theodore didn’t feel inadequate or like an absolute child. “It’s Theo’s birthday!”

“I know!” Professor Fernández grinned, turning to him. “Happy birthday, Theo! Happy fourteenth birthday. That’s a big one!”

“Thanks, professor,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Happy birthday, Theodore,” Lupin gave him a small smile and Theodore returned it, wanting to get along with him as well.

“Thanks, Professor Lupin.”

“We were wondering,” Draco began, throwing an arm around Theo’s neck, ruffling his hair, making Theodore groan, trying to pull away. “If we could hang out by the tower tonight to celebrate? We don’t want to bother the people in the Common Room.”

“We’ll be super clean, super quiet, and we won’t bother you!” Pansy clasped her hands together and the six friends looked over at the tattooed man, who seemed a bit surprised. 

“We promise we’ll behave!” Greg added.

“It’s _fine_ , guys,” Fernández laughed, smiling at all of them. “Use it as much as you need tonight, as long as you don’t break anything or do anything dangerous, yeah? Your present is in the tower, anyway, Theo.”

At that, everyone turned to Theodore and Draco gave a laugh, hugging Theo tight, the kid feel like his lungs were expanding, expanding, expanding, there was something, an emotion, so big in his chest and he quickly hid his face on Draco’s shoulder before he could be seen crying.

“You didn’t have to,” Theodore whispered to the professor.

“Oh, it’s for my own enjoyment. I didn’t do it for _you_ , Mr Nott,” Professor Fernández winked, making him laugh. “Enjoy it. We’ll begin whenever you want. For now, I’ve lunch to go to. And I believe the six of you have a potions exam.”

“Did Professor Snape tell you anything about it?” Pansy asked, eyes on Fernández and the professor hesitated.

“Elías -” Lupin warned him, laughing but Fernández quickly leaned down to whisper.

“It’s a Shrinking Solution,” he snitched, making Blaise immediately reach for Vince’s bag, looking for the recipe in their textbook. “But I didn’t say anything,” the Spaniard added.

“Nope. You didn’t,” Pansy grinned. “Have a nice lunch, Professor Fernández!”

“Good luck!” he bid, nudging Lupin to keep walking to the outside of the castle.

“I got it, I got it!” Blaise called, all of them huddling around the book to reread the Shrinking Solution. “You’re going to pass this exam, Theo.”

“Yeah,” he sniffled a bit, laughing, feeling his heart filled to burst. “And after that, we go to the Astronomy Tower. I wanna see what he got me.”

“You’re his favorite,” Draco said, grinning. “Not _Potter_. I don’t see a present that he gave Potter, do you?”

“Draco,” Theo laughed a bit, feeling a bit happier to think that someone just - liked him. That an adult thought he was good enough. It just - it felt nice.

* * *

“Mr Nott.”

Theodore paused as he was putting his quill back into his bag, looking up, freezing as he saw Professor Snape gesturing at him. Oh no. Had he noticed that he’d known it was the Shrinking Potion? Had he heard the way Granger had whispered to him the correct way to crush the Billywig eggs?

“Yes, sir?” he asked, seeing his friends all waiting by the door, approaching Snape with a bit of fear.

“Your Shrinking Solution was particularly clean today,” he spoke, making Theodore blink, surprised. 

“Is… is that a compliment, sir?” he asked dumbly, unable to believe it.

Snape cocked an eyebrow at him, “It is, Mr Nott.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, eyes wide. “Er… thank you, sir.”

“Do not thank me, just keep up the good work,” Snape replied, making Theodore nod, smiling up at him. Then, after a moment, Professor Snape gave a grunt.

“Sir?” Theodore asked, a bit surprised as the professor gave a deep sigh.

“Happy birthday, Mr Nott,” he said, making Theodore grin. “I was… led to understand it was today, yes?”

“Yes, sir!” he nodded. “Professor Fernández apparently has a present for me!”

“Of course he does,” Snape rolled his eyes. “Get out of my classroom, Mr Nott. And do keep it up. You’ll pass my class if you make the same effort you’ve put into this exam.”

“Yes, sir, thank you, sir!” Theodore grinned, rushing to his friends, all of them getting out of the dungeons with huge smiles.

“You did it, Theo!” Pansy laughed, hugging him around the middle, her arms tight as they all walked out of the classroom. “And even Professor Snape complimented you!”

“That may have been Professor Fernández,” he laughed. 

“He’s _so_ cool,” Draco breathed and Blaise rolled his eyes a bit.

“Come on, let’s get to the tower to see his present and then go for lunch,” Blaise told them all, hand moving to grasp Theo’s shoulder. “We’ll give you ours when we have dinner up there.”

“You guys got me stuff?” Theodore looked over at Blaise and he nodded, finally letting out a small smile. “You’re the _best_.”

“I’m _so_ hungry, can we go quick to the tower?” Greg groaned.

“It’s so tall, can’t we just go there tonight?” Vince put.

“No! I wanna see my present!” Theodore laughed, taking off, Draco right after him.

* * *

Lunch was a delightful little pause in time, what with the spring equinox making the clouds part and Hogsmeade seem much less depressing. They’d spent it in the Three Broomsticks and it almost felt like nothing had ever happened between the two of them. Elías also could now forget the way Remus’ mouth felt against his and he could maintain a normal conversation with him without feeling hurt.

So by the time the two of them walked back to the castle, still with some jackets due to the cool temperatures, Remus was laughing and Elías was grinning and they were talking about the coming Easter holidays, which Elías was planning on spending with his family in Cartagena.

“So you’ll be gone for the holidays, then?” Remus asked.

“Very probably, yeah,” he nodded, glad for the warmth that enveloped them both as they entered the castle, walking calmly without any aim. “I’m still not sure, it depends on how the case with Harry is going. Tonks said she’d send me an owl if anything happened.”

Remus paused, blinking, “Tonks?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, smiling. “I already guessed that she’s related to the Black House. The Grey eyes and the - y’know, the mole thing. They all have the same nose, too.”

“What’s her name?” Remus asked curiously.

“Uh, she didn’t say? I saw an N, though, on her plaque,” Elías told him and Remus’ eyebrows shot up, a smile on his face.

"That’s Nymphadora,” he said, laughing. “I bet she’s got really brightly colored hair like you, yes?”

“Yeah! She was delightful!” Elías grinned.

“Sirius is her uncle,” he told Elías. “She’s the daughter of Andromeda, Sirius’ cousin and -”

“Narcissa’s sister,” Elías finished, a bit sadly. “The one married to a muggle, right?”

“Mhmm,” Remus nodded. “I met Nymphadora when she was… five? I think?” he tried to think about it before accepting it. “She was so bright and happy. Andromeda was the only one who spoke to Sirius after he ran from home. So - yeah. Nymphadora loved him.”

“How sweet,” Elías said softly, smiling at Remus. “She’s - Gods, she’s _really_ pretty, too.”

“Oh, I bet,” Remus laughed. “All the Blacks are -”

“Yep.”

“Very…”

“ _Gorgeous_ ” Elías breathed in. “Narcissa - Gods, that was uh, a direct hit.”

“ _N_ _arcissa_?” Remus turned to him, eyes wide. “She’s _scary._ ”

“I like scary women,” Elías replied, shrugging. “The only reason is that if they can crush me, good. I never want to be a menacing picture in a woman’s life.”

“I feel like this is more like… you’re randy for women who can crush you,” Remus said and Elías paused.

“Alright, so there’s _two_ reasons -” Elías burst out laughing, Remus following him. “Listen - _listen_. I can’t help it.”

“You’re a lost cause,” Remus shook his head. “So - Nymphadora. She’s your age, right?”

“Very probably,” Elías shrugged. “But it’d be _highly_ unprofessional of me to ask her out when she’s _working_ . I don’t want to be one of _those_ guys. If by the end of this whole thing, everything’s gone right and we’re all good and she seems to be interested… I might ask her out.”

“Oh?” Remus turned to him, surprised. “Wow. Weren’t you afraid of straight women?”

“Listen, buddy, she wore a leather jacket and a flannel - she’s either a lesbian or a bisexual woman. I’m hoping the latter but knowing me, it’s probably the former. If so, good for her.”

“I’m glad to see you throwing yourself out there, though,” Remus told Elías.

“Don’t count your chicken before they hatch,” Elías breathed. “I’m still scared. I probably won’t say a thing. She’s just - she’s _really_ funny. And she was super nice to Harry.”

“I’m glad she was,” Remus said softly, smiling at Elías. “You’re slowly tangling yourself up with the Black House, huh?”

“Just Narcissa and Tonks,” he shrugged, passing by some students on their way to the Astronomy Tower. “But do tell me,” he began as they climbed the stairs, now out of earshot. “Because I know the other night you weren’t in your rooms.”

Remus’ face flushed deeply and Elías turned around, hand moving to the wall of the Tower, caging Remus while he was taller than him. 

“Remuuus…” Elías sang, making the man shrink a little. “How have you and Padfoot been doing hmm?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Aren’t you supposed to not want to talk about that?” Remus mumbled, looking at Elías with a slight and beautiful blush.

“I’ve never been the jealous type,” Elías shrugged. “C’mon. Lay it on me. Are you finally together?”

“No!” Remus squeaked, way too loud, hand slapping over his mouth as his entire face turned red. “I mean, _no_ . We’re - you know, we’ve just… reunited after so long. There’s so many things we haven’t spoken about yet. And a _lot_ that we shouldn’t even consider, because of the current circumstances.”

“Yeah, but did you finally smooch him?” Elías asked, laughing.

“I -” Remus hesitated, swallowing. “I almost did but to be honest, kissing impulsively hasn’t landed me anywhere good, lately.”

“Ah, good thinking,” Elías admitted. “Did he, though?”

“No,” Remus rubbed his face. “But he hugged me. Tightly. We… spoke about our distrust and what led to what happened, you know? And - and well, I… I apologized for exacerbating the situation and just… being really unforgiving about everything. He made a mistake. And then that mistake cost us everything. It shouldn’t have had to.”

“You forgave him for Fifth Year, then?” Elías asked, surprised.

“Yes,” Remus nodded. “It hardly matters anymore, does it? So stupid, to think about it… I wish I could tell my sixteen year old self. In the grand scheme of things, all that matters is that he’s alright. And he’s - he’s sorry for what he did. And he knows why it was wrong. That’s it.”

“I’m glad, Remus,” Elías told him, smiling gently. 

“Yes, and - I cried a lot,” Remus admitted, laughing. “He did a bit. As well. And I just… fell asleep. It was very emotional, is all.”

“I’m glad you two could fix things,” Elías said softly. “Honestly, I do. Tonight after dinner we could go see him?”

“If you’ve no classes -”

“I had my classes this morning,” Elías replied. “So none tonight.”

“Perfect,” Remus nodded, giving him a small smile before he suddenly paused. “Hey um… does this mean that we won’t have San Fernando dinners anymore?”

“What? No! I can miss dinner with Severus, it’s fine. We do it every night, it’ll be _fine_ if I miss one,” he replied, hand moving to Remus’ arm, squeezing. “I can even organize a big dinner that we can take to Padfoot, yeah? Bring my guitar, too, make it fun while he recuperates.”

“I think he’d like that,” Remus smiled.

“Yeah, me too,” Elías beamed back, finally moving his arm away from the wall, straightening up. “So! Let’s go check on the kids, see if they’re at the tower. I need to grab some exams from last week to correct anyway.”

“Elías -” Remus called, hand moving to his wrist and Elías turned to him, expectant. “I… I just want to let you know that Sirius and I - even if we still felt exactly the same as years ago… it’s going to take a long, long time for us to rebuild that. I’d rather if you um, didn’t… expect things.”

“Oh,” Elías said softly. “I won’t pressure you. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he replied, following Elías up the stairs. “It just took me off guard.”

“I just want you to be happy, Remus,” Elías told him with a hum, pausing when he heard Remus stop his legs. He turned, confused, watching the werewolf look at him with so much guilt that Elías had to suck in a deep breath. “Hey - _hey_ . I’m fine. Gods, really, I’m _fine_ . I mean it. I want you to be happy. Not necessarily with me, like - you _do_ understand that, right?” Elías laughed a bit, turning fully to Remus, walking down a few steps until he was face-to-face with him, hands moving to Remus’ shoulders. “I - like, _anyone_ gets jealous, sometimes I’ll be like _oh shit, I feel a little jealous_ but it’s nothing that… is detrimental to me? So you can live your life and rest assured that I’m not just hopelessly pining for you, yeah? It’s - it’s not how I work. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Remus sighed deeply, resting his head against Elías’ chest, making the Spaniard smile a little bit, hugging him. “What did I do to get a friend like you?”

“Exist,” Elías laughed, kissing the top of his blonde head. 

“You’re great, Elías.”

“I know,” he smirked, pulling back and giving him a wink.

“Also, I’m pretty sure you’ve not just crushed on me or Nymphadora,” Remus pointed out.

Elías turned around and walked up the stairs, ignoring Remus as he began to laugh, his face on _fire_. Of course Remus had noticed. Damn it.

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” Elías stated.

“Oh, really? Because he wears black and his name rhymes with _cape_ -”

“If you tell Padfoot this, I’ll kill you,” Elías hissed, turning around to glare at Remus, who had a mischievous little smile on his face. Fucking Gryffindors.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Remus assured. “But you didn’t deny it.”

“I already told you that I think he’s hot, what else do you want?” Elías groaned, watching Remus. “Look, he’s just - he’s _sweet_ under all that prickly personality. I promise he is.”

“I’m not judging you,” Remus raised his hands. “Not at all, considering whom it is I love, so… I’m just saying that you can talk to me about it.”

“Are you _sure_ you’re not judging me?” Elías asked, skeptical.

“I promise,” Remus nodded, grinning. “But really, _him_?”

“Oh my _Gods, Remus_!” Elías groaned, rubbing his face.

“You’ve horrid taste in men,” Remus told him firmly.

“No, I just like older men,” Elías whined, rubbing his face. “It’s awful. All of this is awful. I keep crushing on men that won’t ever look at me that way.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Remus nudged him. “He may take some time but… who knows?”

“I know,” Elías said, sighing. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Alright, alright,” Remus kissed his forehead. “Sorry.”

“I hate you,” Elías mumbled. “Stop making fun of me.”

“I’m not making _fun_ of you,” Remus laughed. “Just - you know, questioning _why_.”

“Ugh,” Elías turned around, climbing again. “No more talk about this. Or I’ll burn to death. I feel like my face is on fire.”

“It is,” Remus chuckled.

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, too.”

Elías opened the door to the classroom and immediately the sound of drums reached them both, six students turning to the professors. Theodore sat on the stool, drumsticks in his hands, and he looked flushed and sweaty, one of the beginner books opened by Pansy.

“Hello!” Elías grinned. “I see you found your present!”

“You got me a drumming kit?!” Theodore stood, laughing, and Elías nodded as he approached.

“Well, you did say that you were interested in it and a friend of mine had a spare that he sold me for cheap so I - _oof_ ,” he grunted as Theodore hugged him tightly, the kid smelling of sweat and chocolate. Elías gave a small sigh, patting his back with a laugh, watching him pull away with the brightest smile. He’d never seen Theo so happy. “I see you like it.”

“Will you teach me, sir? Please!” Theodore begged.

“Well, I’m not the best drummer in the world, but I can teach you a bit, yes,” Elías nodded, giving a smile to the rest of the kids. There was a chocolate cake half-eaten, not cut neatly but ravaged probably by the spoons they’d all brought. Draco looked happily at Elías and Theodore. “We can have some classes on Thursdays and Mondays? In the afternoon?”

“I’d love that,” Theodore grinned, nodding. “Can - can you play something?”

“Yeah, sure,” Elías nodded, giving Remus his shoulder-strap bag and taking the drumsticks from Theodore. “What do you wanna hear?”

“Anything!” Theo moved to sit between Blaise and Vince, grinning.

“Alright,” Elías breathed in, thinking for a moment before he began, his work on the drums slow before the song began and the guitars and bass poured in, making the rest of the kids jump.

Theo laughed, delighted, and Elías focused on the kids instead of Remus' lovely smile as he began to sing. " _Am I moooore than you bargained for yet?_ "

The kids were _in_ on it, watching, learning, eyes wide and leaning into each other and Theodore cataloged every movement of his arms, hoping to one day be able to do the same and more. So much, much more.


	41. "We Could've Been Great"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning! Thank you to everyone reading and the people in the server! Join us! https://discord.gg/9A4mMbd
> 
> A quick thing before you read; this fic isn't a sort of lesson for everyone to learn. I do not speak for everyone or everyone's experience and I am not a pillar of knowledge. How you approach the discussion between Severus and Elías will depend on you and only you. Second chances and abuse are tricky. Treat that with respect and take what Elías says with a grain of salt.
> 
> Songs:  
> \- I Fall In Love Too Easily by Chet Baker  
> \- It's Always You by Chet Baker  
> \- Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley  
> \- I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James  
> \- A Sunday Kind of Love by Etta James  
> \- More Than a Feeling by Boston
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Discussion of suicide  
> \- Discussion of mental illness  
> \- Discussion of abuse  
> \- Discussion of necrosis/loss of a limb

“Remus apologized.”

Severus paused halfway through drinking his ouzo, slowly letting the glass back down on the counter as Elías watched the beef start to brown on the ovenproof pan. He took in a deep breath, watching Elías before letting it out slowly, lips pursed.

“And you accepted his apology,” he finished.

“Yes,” Elías nodded. “He actually apologized properly? Said what I wanted him to learn, what he did wrong, and what he would never do again.”

“He should’ve grovelled more,” Severus scowled, eyes harsh. “At your feet.”

“Kneeling like you?” Elías smirked.

“On hands and knees,” Severus smirked back and Elías laughed. “Are you alright?”

“With that apology? Yeah,” Elías nodded. “I don’t… I don’t forgive easily but if I see a change? If I see true regret and they know what they’ve done wrong? Like - if the lesson is learnt? Then yeah. I forgive.”

“... I see,” Severus murmured and Elías reached for his own ouzo, taking a sip. “I still think he shouldn’t have been forgiven so easily. But -” he quickly added as Elías opened his mouth. “It’s your choice, not mine. And you are the one who knows him in a way I never could.”

Elías blinked, turning to Severus, surprised to see him speak like that and  _ mean it _ , most of all. He gave a slow smile to Severus, the other Slytherin watching the pan instead of Elías, relaxed and almost seemingly bored. But Elías knew better by now, he knew him well - Severus was putting up a front so Elías wouldn’t read him.

“Is that so?” Elías asked, smiling wide.

“I just hope he doesn’t take advantage of you again,” Severus said quietly.

“I’ll be a bit more ready for that, if it ever happens,” Elías told him, hand moving to Severus’ collar, adjusting it a bit, making the man finally turn to look into his ocean eyes. “But thank you. For saying that it is my choice and I know what I’m doing. It’s… refreshing to hear you say it.”

“It’s true,” Severus murmured.

“I know. But it took you a while to realize it,” Elías pointed out. “I’m glad you know now.”

Severus said nothing, the sound of Chet Baker the only thing breaking the silence between them. The night today was a bit warmer and Elías had let the windows open, the smell of the sea mixing with everything else. They were making moussaka tonight and Elías was making a bit more than was needed just to give to Sirius tonight, after dinner was over. 

Severus had even brought a bottle of ouzo, which wasn’t Elías’ favorite but he was enjoying it by the time he’d finished one glass, lightheaded and a bit high on good music and better company. Once he made sure the beef was properly cooking, he moved on to work on the aubergine with a fork, Severus putting his glass to the side and starting to mix the yogurt, egg, parmesan and seasoning together.

“Easter is coming soon,” Elías began. “Any plans?”

“None in particular,” Severus replied.

“Aw, come on,” Elías nudged him. “Not even an invitation from Narcissa?”

“Oh, plenty of those,” Severus rolled his eyes. “And from Yaxley. They’re trying their damnest to get me to those outrageous parties they throw.”

“Don’t you want to go?” Elías asked, moving to microwave the aubergine a bit, just to soften it up enough as the song changed, still Chet Baker, only this time  _ It’s Always You _ . 

“No,” Severus said firmly.

“Not even a little bit?” Elías chuckled.

“No,” was the same reply, Severus frowning deeply. “I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate the crowds they gather and the amount of times I’m told to  _ smile _ . If I don’t want to smile, I won’t.”

“Fair,” Elías grinned a bit to himself, pulling out the plate from the microwave and walking back to the island, checking on the beef. He grabbed the sun-dried tomato purée next, mixing it with the chopped, garlicky tomatoes and the boiled potatoes, fork working fast. “Do you not enjoy parties at all?”

“Not usually,” he sighed, turning to Elías once he’d finished his own mixture, huffing at the way the Spaniard forked at the potatoes and taking over himself, making Elías step aside. “I may enjoy the occasional dinner, I will admit, as a gathering of people. But not  _ parties _ .”

“Is that why you’ve never gone to one of Narcissa’s charity events?” Elías asked.

“Partly,” Severus admitted. “I also do not… think I could be of any service to her work.”

“I feel the same,” Elías let in a sharp breath. “I’m  _ intimidated _ .”

“You should be. It’s all politicians,” Severus spoke dryly. “You’d probably run into people you really don’t want to see.”

“You mean the Fawley’s,” Elías deadpanned and Severus nodded. “Thanks for the warning. That just makes me not want to go at all.”

“It’s better that way,” Severus shrugged, finishing the mixture before the two Slytherins moved to the pan, pulling it from the fire and starting to arrange the moussaka. “I think you’d be uncomfortable in that setting unless there was something you’d need out of it.”

“I don’t need anything out of any politicians,” Elías replied.

“So far,” Severus reminded him, eyes moving to his. “I know you don’t plan on, ah… joining Narcissa and Lucius in their attempts to climb the social ladder once more. But you never know when that might be useful.”

“They’re pretty high up,” Elías said dryly, reaching for his ouzo as Severus opened his modern oven and slid the pan inside, closing it quickly. 

“Not as much as you’d think,” Severus said, taking his own drink in hand and leaning back against the kitchen island. “They’re still untrustworthy, in the eyes of the public.”

“But everyone knows that they’re rich, and powerful, and fearsome,” Elías pressed. “It’s an advantage. They’ll -”

“Not everyone trusts them that way, Elías. Not when it all could come crumbling down the moment they’re found to be ah, worshipping the Dark Lord again,” Severus finished up his drink, cheeks a bit colored with drink, arms crossing. Elvis Presley was up next and Severus closed his eyes for a moment, the line of his shoulders slowly letting loose and Elías had the urge to touch them for a moment, wondering just… if they were as strong as his ar -

“They don’t worship him, though. Not anymore,” Elías pointed out, then paused. “Right?”

“He ruined their lives,” Severus said dryly. “If he came back, unfortunately, their hand would be forced. The Dark Mark beckons all of us. There is no escaping him, once you have it.”

“It… it’s a tracker?” Elías frowned.

“Yes,” Severus nodded, wincing. “And a… way to keep us all in check.”

Elías felt a bit of dread, looking at Severus with wide eyes, “What… what does that mean, Sev?”

“If he so wanted to,” Severus began, sighing. “He could… take my arm.”

“ _ He what?! _ ” Elías choked on his drink, putting it away. “What does that mean?”

“He could essentially kill my arm,” Severus explained, lifting his left hand, his right one moving around his elbow. “From the tips of my fingers to my elbow. My limb would… just be ridden by necrosis. That is why he marks your wand arm.”

“Jesus  _ Christ _ , that’s  _ sick _ ,” Elías whispered, hand running over his own wand arm, his right one, feeling a bit nauseous. “So if he came back -”

“I’d lose my arm, yes,” Severus’ eyebrows lifted. “Thankfully, if we manage to find a curse-breaker for when it happens -”

“My sister is a curse-breaker,” Elías said and Severus paused.

“Right. Your sister,” he began, looking at Elías strangely. “You… rarely talk of her.”

“Do I?” Elías asked, shrugging awkwardly. “I mean - it’s Elena. She’s… her.”

“She’s older? Younger?” Severus asked curiously.

“Older. By three, almost four years,” Elías explained, looking at the bottom of his glass, watching the crystals of the ouzo melt slowly. “She went to Beauxbatons.”

“That explains why I didn’t meet her,” Severus hummed and Elías nodded, still not looking up. “Do you have a good relationship with her?”

“Right now, yeah,” Elías nodded.

“Right now?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes, right now,” Elías laughed, finally finishing his ouzo and pushing the empty glass to the side, leaning down to check on the pan only to nod and stand back up again. “We got along like shit back when we were kids. Now we tolerate and worry about each other.”

“Do you have any other siblings?” Severus cocked his head.

“No. Just her. And tons of cousins,” Elías explained, walking over to the chimney and pulling from the top a photo frame of two summers ago in Ibiza, where all the cousins were gathered. “Er… ignore my very obviously no-testosterone look. This is my sister.”

He pointed at her, watching Severus lean down to look, blinking suddenly.

“Oh,” he murmured. “I’ve seen her before, I believe.”

“Wait, what?” Elías asked, stunned.

“She came to Hogwarts. Through floo. Back before Christmas,” he told Elías.

“Oh!” the Spaniard nodded, putting the frame back. “Yeah, she came to check on me.”

“I see,” Severus looked at the rest of the frames, curious, and Elías let him, watching the potions master’s face. “You have… quite a big family,” he pointed out.

“Mhmm,” Elías smiled. “We’re a lot.”

“You must’ve all of them here,” Severus’ eyebrows lifted.

“They wouldn’t  _ fit _ ,” Elías laughed. “And I’m only talking about the Fernández family. If we put the Oviedos, it’d be - it’d be  _ insane _ . I’ve got second-cousins I haven’t met yet. And second-cousins that only realize we’re related when we introduce ourselves. I’ve met more family at a bar than at weddings!” 

“That sounds exhausting,” Severus confessed, eyes a bit horrified. “So many people…”

“Well, I - I enjoy it,” Elías said softly, smiling a bit. “I know I’ll never be alone. I get along better with some than with others but in the end, if something fails… I know I’ve got my family, you know? My parents may be overbearing at times, my cousins a bit judgy and my sister may… may make me feel insecure at times but she means well. They all do. And I love them very, very much. All of them.”

Severus said nothing, his dark eyes roaming the frames, suddenly looked over around the house. There were signs of Elías’ family everywhere, truly. In the photos, the wear and tear of the couches and loveseats, the stain at the corner of the curtains, the table outside in the garden, the broken tile of the upper bathroom where Jaime once had fallen down and nearly torn open his foot. Elías could recall so many memories in  _ El Rompido _ . 

“Is this your childhood home?” Severus asked and Elías approached him, smiling around until he stood in front of the potions professor.

“One of them,” he explained. “This was my grandmother’s. Still is but - she lent it to me. We used to have all the Fernández family meetings here. So it’s ridden with memories, this place. My real childhood home is deep in town, next to the huge christian school,  _ Compañía de María _ . It’s an apartment home.”

“I see,” he murmured. “You were born here?”

“Close by,” Elías replied. “Military base. Rota.”

“Military,” Severus frowned a bit. “Your father?”

“Mhmm. He does paperwork, mostly now. But he’s a retired helicopter pilot. He’s in the navy, though.”

“The sea, again,” Severus looked over Elías’ features. “You sound like you had a happy childhood.”

“I did,” Elías admitted, nodding. “I’m one of the lucky ones. I was very happy with my childhood until… probably eight or so. But mostly happy. With very good parents.”

“No divorce?” Severus asked.

“Nope.”

“No cheating.”

“Not at all, they love each other very much.”

“Money problems?”

“Sometimes we had some, but nothing serious. We’re not rich, nor poor.”

“Gambling? Addiction ?”

“Gambling came from an in-law part, addiction has been dealt with, but we did it as a family,” Elías replied and Severus let out a long breath, looking thoughtful.

“... transphobia?” Severus finally asked and that’s when Elías winced.

“That…  _ was _ a problem when I came out at sixteen.”

“How much of a problem?”

“Uh…  _ tried to kill myself _ problem,” Elías explained and Severus frowned deeper. “My mom and sister were… not in on it.”

“I see,” Severus murmured. “And now they are?”

“They have to,” Elías shrugged. “Or they’d suffer unnecessarily. And so would I.”

“Just like that?” Severus asked, surprised.

“Not - it look a  _ long _ time,” Elías told him, a bit sourly. “Elena is still...well. And so is ma. But they love me and they’re willing to accept me, however I feel, however I want to be. Because that’s how family works, Severus. They  _ love _ you. Through their beliefs, their faith, their political leanings or their afflictions. They love you.”

Severus pursed his lips, looking almost sad as Elías finally returned his gaze.

“You’ve a good family,” he whispered.

“I know,” Elías told him. “It’s not perfect. Far from it. But I love them.”

“I -” Severus paused, then sighed, walking to the oven.

“No, what?” Elías pressed a bit, watching his back as he pulled out the moussaka, ready to be served, smelling delightful as Severus placed a wicker circle on the island so he could rest the pan there without burning anything. “Say it. No judgement here. If there’s a question I’m uncomfortable with, I’d let you know.”

Severus said nothing for a moment, pouring himself another glass of ouzo, taking his time as he waved his wand and moved two plates, the cutlery, the napkins and everything that’d be needed to the garden outside, the pool playing reflections on the plants clinging to the fence around the backyard.

Then, running a hand through his hair, he turned to Elías.

“I -” he paused again, sighing. “How do you know when to give up on a family member?”

Elías blinked, startled, not expecting that question.

“Oh,  _ boy _ , that’s a hard one,” he breathed in sharply, eyes wide. “Well, you know for  _ sure _ when they’re violent to you or people around them. If a parental figure or a guardian is hitting their kids?  _ Get out _ . Or better yet, kick them out. If someone is just  _ abusive _ , as in… neglectful or angry or psychologically harming you? And they’re doing it on purpose? Then  _ out _ .”

“That’s the easy part,” Severus replied quietly. “What if it’s because of an illness?”

“That’s trickier,” Elías sighed, making a face. “Do they constantly refuse help? Refuse ways to cope with that mental illness?”

“No,” Severus whispered. “No, it just - it gets worse. Even with medicine.”

“Then it’s not their fault. And unfortunately… there’s many shades of gray with that,” Elías replied, moving a bit closer as Severus closed his eyes, looking conflicted. “People… well, mental illness can change a person. A  _ lot _ . When it gets bad…”

“It feels like a nightmare,” Severus breathed and Elías let the music fade away, the only sound their breathing and the crickets outside, ringing in the night, the waves of the ocean. Very slowly, Elías put Severus’ glass away and let his tattooed hand fall on top of Severus’, not curling around it yet. “It feels like - like there is no escape. And they’re suffering and you can’t -”

“Abuse can be fatal,” Elías said quietly. “And we never know when it’s worth it to stick around. My mother and sister were - they were  _ bad _ . And I refused for the longest time to admit that they’d been abusive to me. Things changed, with patience and care. But it doesn’t mean that it’s always the smartest option. You’re the one who chooses to stay or to leave.”

“You chose to stay,” Severus opened his eyes, finding Elías so close, his nose brushing Elías’ hair as he leaned down a little. “You… gave them a second chance.”

“And it paid off,” Elías nodded, his other hand moving to brush some hair away from Severus’ eyes, making the man jerk before he relaxed, suddenly - and a lot. “Sometimes people change. Sometimes they don’t. It’s a bit of a gamble. And there are no easy answers, I’m afraid.”

“Are there ever easy answers?” Severus finally let his chin drop on top of Elías’ head and Elías let him rest against his body, giving a little sad laugh.

“I’m afraid not, Sev.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Severus murmured. “I’m glad to know that it worked for you and your mother and sister. Even if you don’t have the best relationship with… Elena?”

“Elena.”

“Hm. I like Elías better.”

“Thank you,” Elías laughed, delighted. “I chose it myself.”

Severus gave a laugh, small but deep, resonating within his chest, close enough for Elías to feel in his bones and the Spaniard gave a wide grin, flushing a bit, one arm moving around Severus, his other hand curling around his fingers and, to his surprise, Severus’ fingers twitched and… slowly curled as well.

“Look at us,” Elías laughed, grinning. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Not me,” Severus replied dryly. “You’re just -” he grunted. “I hate hugs.”

“You started it.”

“No, I  _ didn’t _ -”

“Yes, you did!”

“Your arm moved first.”

“You  _ liar _ , you got so close -”

“You keep moving close to me -!”

Elías shoved at him, laughing, giving Severus a wide grin as the potioneer rolled his eyes, grabbing the pan and moving outside, performing a quick charm to keep their food warm in the pan. Elías followed, letting Etta play again, looking at Severus’ back and feeling like he was finally on firm ground with him, yawning softly as he sat down on the garden chair, dinner in front of him. Severus filled his glass, served him a ration of dinner and, with a moment’s hesitation, he finally gave Elías a small smile.

And Elías smiled back with all he had.

* * *

“So he’s with Snivellus, right?”

Remus looked up at Sirius, his childhood friend cocking an eyebrow at him, making him flush hard. He could always read right through Remus and it was gutting to know that he still could. Almost like old times. Remus put aside his book, sighing deeply, Crookshanks opening his eyes from Sirius’ lap.

“They’re friends, Padfoot,” Remus chided softly, trying to be calming. “And Elías hates it when you call him Snivellus.”

“Yes, so he’s said, but I feel like he’s pretty delusional for going to  _ his place _ without anyone else. As a muggleborn,” Sirius replied, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t,” Remus told him, frowning. “He’s been always looking out for Elías’ safety. He even hates  _ me _ harder after what I did to him.”

“He’ll take any excuse to hate you,” Sirius snorted, leaning in and rubbing the back of his neck. He looked so much better than when they’d first met, high with fever and hunched over, voice rough. He almost looked like the same Sirius he’d always known… but older. And with a beard instead of his carefree stubble, sometimes clean look. “I don’t trust him.”

“I surprisingly do,” Remus told him, making Sirius scrunch up his nose. “Sirius -”

“Elías is too nice,” Sirius stated and Remus was about to tell him no when he paused. “See?! Even  _ you _ know it! Which is  _ weird _ . Shouldn’t he have been a Hufflepuff?”

“He’s too vain for it,” Remus laughed.

“Gryffindor?” Sirius retorted.

“He’d rather throw himself off a window,” Remus shook his head.

“Ravenclaw?”

“Too ambitious for it, too  _ cunning _ ,” Remus sighed, looking at Sirius. “You don’t know him the way I do. You’ve only known him for a little bit.”

“He can be a dick sometimes. Bit bossy.”

“Funnily enough, he reminds me of you sometimes,” Remus chuckled.

“Aw, Moony! Does he?” Sirius pouted, making Remus grin.

“Mhmm. The music style was the first thing,” he told Sirius, who paused, blinking. “He’s a musician, Padfoot.”

“Oh,” he replied. “I didn’t know. That’s - fuck, that’s great. I’ve missed music.”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t played any for you yet,” Remus smiled softly. “He’s always playing one song or another. Feels like he has always the perfect song for the moment. And because he’s a Seer, he’s got songs from the future? It’s  _ insane _ .”

“That’s  _ brilliant _ !” Sirius laughed, changing Crookshanks’ position as his thigh went a little numb, smiling at Remus. “You really fancy this guy, huh?”

Remus’ smile dropped, looking away, “It’s… it’s a passing emotion.”

“You like him, Remus, don’t lie,” Sirius nudged his knee. “You can talk to me about it, you know I won’t judge you.”

“He’s twenty-two,” Remus said dryly. “We’ve had this conversation already -”

“So? He’s an adult,” Sirius shrugged. “And he’s kissed you. And told you that he feels pretty much the same about you.”

“He deserves better than a werewolf,” Remus sighed, rubbing his face. “Plus, he - he has other people he might be interested in. So I’m not going to walk in and - fuck up all over again.”

“If maybe you kissed him and didn’t take it back…” Sirius gave him a  _ look _ .

“That was stupid. I shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place,” Remus told Sirius, groaning. “Look, I just - he’s great. He’s amazing. He’s bright and kind and good with kids and he’ll make someone else the happiest person in the world. I’m not that person.”

“Because you don’t let yourself be,” Sirius reached over and slapped his cheek gently, Remus reaching up to catch his fingers, making Sirius entwine them together, Remus’ cheeks going pink. Sirius’ grey stare was intense, roaming Remus’ face, thumb brushing his lower lip like the absolute  _ danger _ he was. “You still look so fucking cute when you blush.”

“ _ Sirius _ ,” Remus breathed, looking away, lungs stuttering, but Sirius turned his chin. Still unable to make Remus look into his eyes, Sirius sighed.

“We could’ve been great.”

“You fucked up.”

“I did.”

“I’ve forgiven you but -”

“I know. There’s a lot going on,” Sirius sighed, letting go of his chin, leaning back against the wall again. Their fingers were still together, though, and Sirius let his thumb run through the back of Remus’ hand. Remus felt his heart in his throat, a bit guilty, a bit happy that this was happening. “I loved you. I think I still do.”

“I don’t know if I do,” Remus confessed quietly. “I really don’t, Sirius.”

“It’s fair,” Sirius sighed, looking up at the broken ceiling. “You should go for Elías.”

“Sirius -”

“I mean it,” Sirius told him, looking dead set as their eyes met. “Merlin, I’m pretty sure this guy is crazy for you. Who wouldn’t be? You’re sweet and smart and kind. I bet he’s never met anyone like you in his life. And you’re going to throw that away?”

“Yes,” Remus murmured. “For  _ his _ sake.”

“Do you love him?” Sirius asked.

“Merlin, no,” Remus laughed, rubbing his nose. “But I do fancy him. A lot. As in… a  _ lot _ .”

“Tell me about him,” Sirius smiled, still stroking Remus’ hand. “I wanna know why he makes you happy. I like seeing you smile.”

“Sirius,  _ by Godric _ , don’t say things like that -”

“I’ve kept them at bay for years, I won’t,” Sirius replied firmly, making Remus blush again, groaning. “C’mon, Moony. Tell me about your man.”

“He’s - he doesn’t care about the werewolf thing,” he began slowly.

“Obviously he doesn’t - and no one should,” Sirius nodded and Remus would fight him but he’d already fought for enough years about it. So he didn’t.

“He, um… he’s obviously handsome,” Remus continued.

“He’s fucking  _ hot _ ,” Sirius grinned and Remus kicked him. “Ow!”

“Sorry, sorry, but  _ yes _ , he’s - handsome. Pretty eyes.”

“Very blue, mhmm.”

“And - well, he… feels very wise? For his age?” Remus pursed his lips. “Like he’s got a lot of things figured out. He has principles and he’ll run through anything with them. He cares a lot about the kids, Sirius - he went through  _ Dumbledore _ for Harry.”

“Yeah, blooke’s got  _ balls _ ,” Sirius laughed loudly. “I really appreciate it. But I won’t celebrate yet, not until the kid’s out.”

“Yes, I - I feel the same,” Remus sighed quietly, watching his lap. “He’s um, a good cook. And sings very well. He plays… guitar differently than you do.”

“Yeah?” Sirius smiled, watching Remus with an openly fond look.

“Yes,” Remus smiled back, a bit shyly. “Softer. You’re - you’ve got this rough sound, your voice is better than his but - but -” he licked his lips, thinking of the beach, of  _ El Rompido _ , the sound of the piano and the sound of his voice. “...I don’t know, Sirius. I like him. I do. I can’t ruin him, I - I just can’t. I’m not ready in any case a-and I -” he swallowed. “He’s  _ good _ .”

Sirius went quiet, watching his best friend in silence for a moment, Crookshanks purring loudly as Sirius used his free hand to scritch him.

“He showed me the ocean,” Remus murmured.

“We’ve never gone to the beach,” Sirius grinned. “Is it pretty?”

“I don’t think there’s anywhere prettier,” Remus laughed, smiling at him. “You’d love it. If you knew Elías - fuck, Sirius, I think you two would be a whirlwind.”

Sirius laughed loudly, making Remus grin. “Is that so, Moony?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, squeezing Sirius’ hand. “He’s musical. It means a lot to him, the way - the way it does to you. You both are stubborn. You both are unapologetically political. A bit vain -”

“Hey!”

“- and most of all, you’re good men,” Remus finished, making Sirius go quiet. “The - the kind of people that are - too beautiful, too popular, too perfect for me.”

“Remus, don’t be fucking  _ daft  _ -”

“I’m  _ not being daft _ ,” Remus pressed, Sirius’ mouth closing. “You should’ve seen the way his sister saw me, Sirius. She saw right through me. She knew what I wanted, what - what I feel for her brother. And immediately I could tell that I wasn’t good enough for him.”

“His sister’s full of shit, then,” Sirius stated, frowning.

“I’m an impoverished werewolf with a  _ million _ scars, Padfoot,” Remus swallowed. “Not exactly what you’d want for your baby brother.”

“Regulus would’ve been so much better if he’d been with you,” Sirius deadpanned.

“Sirius,” Remus warned a bit.

“I’m joking,” Sirius sighed, giving a loud groan. “It’s impossible with you. Your self esteem is through the fucking ground, Moony, there’s no reasoning.”

“Sorry,” Remus whispered. “But I’ve thought about this. I’ve made up my mind.”

“I think he’s good for you,” Sirius murmured, making Remus frown hard. “I think he could bring out a lot out of you. He’s bombastic and bright. He jokes a lot and makes light of things. And he - shit, mate, he always does nice things?”

“I  _ know _ ,” Remus said, a bit frustrated. “He just - does kind little gestures without expecting anything in return. And he does it  _ a lot _ . He forgives way too easily, too.”

“He got me a muggle little thing to keep me entertained,” Sirius told him, making Remus smile a bit. “Game console thing. I’ve been  _ hooked _ and every game he brings me, he has like, a  _ thousand _ hours logged onto it. It’s insane. And he just gave it to me?”

“Elías said he’d prove you innocent, no matter what,” Remus told Sirius, making the Gryffindor grow quiet, watching the werewolf. “And if not, he said he’d even hide you in his own home, out of the U.K. so you’d be safer.”

“When did he say this?” Sirius whispered.

“Before he broke your nose,” Remus replied and Sirius snorted, shaking his head.

“Fucking idiot,” he sighed, rubbing his nose, looking over at the window. “He’s even got heart enough to befriend Snape, huh?”

“You should see how he treats Elías,” Remus told him, amused. “Elías keeps snapping at him to straighten up and, most amazingly, he  _ is _ .”

“ _ Snivellus _ ?” Sirius laughed. “No way.”

“Yes way,” Remus nodded. “The other day, I heard from my students that a Gryffindor flunked a potion and Snape didn’t yell at him. Looked like he was  _ about to _ , but didn’t.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius smirked. “Is he whipped like you?”

Remus flushed, “I - I’m not  _ whipped _ .”

“You make starry eyes whenever he smiles, Moony,” Sirius laughed. 

“I-I  _ don’t _ !” Remus quickly hurried to say.

“Aww, it’s alright!” Sirius giggled, hand moving to ruffle Remus’ hair. “It’s cute. You look cute when he’s around. If he makes you happy, I like him, Mooners.”

“I know you two will be the best or friends or want to kill each other,” Remus replied, watching Sirius with a small smile, suddenly breathing out, eyes closing. “Sirius, I -”

“Do  _ not _ apologize,” Sirius said firmly. “Please,  _ please _ , do not.”

“Merlin, I want to,” Remus felt his head move back against the post of the frame, eyes closing. “There’s so much I wish I’d done. So much I wish I’d said.”

“Nothing we can do now, except - try to live our lives. Fix what we  _ can _ fix. There’s no reason to linger on what could’ve been,” Sirius reasoned, pulling on Remus’ hand until the werewolf fell on the bed, laying next to Sirius’ legs. “And move on, too.”

“You want me to move on from you, as well?” Remus whispered.

“If it’d make you happy? Fuck yeah,” Sirius grinned. “I just want to see you happy.”

Remus closed his eyes, feeling them burn, hand moving to grip Sirius’ arm with frustration as he remembered that afternoon, how Elías had said the exact same thing to him. With that exact same smile. 

“I really don’t deserve you two,” he laughed wetly, trying hard not to cry.

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up,” Sirius reached over to brush some tears away. “You do. You deserve to be happy. Stop being an ass about it.”

“I’ll try,” Remus sniffled, looking up at Sirius. “You look like a crackhead Iggy Pop. But Asian.”

“Fuck you, too,” Sirius laughed loudly, making Crookshanks meow at the ring of his voice, moving away only for his ears to twitch, rushing to the door, scritching and meowing at it. “Oh, here comes the silver boy. You going to finally tell him?”

“Keep dreaming,” Remus snorted, getting comfortable on the bed. “Smells good already.”

“Freaky werewolf,” Sirius chuckled before they heard the steps of Elías coming to their room. “Hey,” he whispered, making Remus hum. “Is he a good kisser, at least?”

Remus blushed hard, pulling his arm over his face. “Fuck you.”

“Is he?” Sirius whispered.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Remus grunted, making Sirius grin right before the door opened, Crookshanks already rubbing against Elías’ legs. 

The man looked tired but happy, carrying a bag with hopefully Sirius’ and Remus’ late dinner and a guitar in hand, making Sirius’ eyes widen with happiness.

“Angel!” he called, Elías quickly throwing the bag at him. “What’s for dinner?”

“Moussaka,” he replied in perfect accent, sitting down on the bed. “It came out  _ amazing _ , I’ll admit. So come on, dig in.”

“Not hungry, you can have it,” Remus nudged Sirius, who frowned at him. “I’m a bit dizzy, still. Ate lunch but my stomach’s queasy. Don’t worry.”

“Alright,” Sirius replied softly, opening up his dinner, face bright. “Aw,  _ hell yes _ . Thanks, angel. You going to play a song while I eat?”

“Remus told me that you play guitar,” he hummed, pushing some of his green hair behind his ear. It was starting to fade, like normal muggle dye. It was probably muggle dye. “So I brought it. I can play something while you eat and then you can take it for a while.”

“I’d love that,” Sirius grinned at him, watching the instrument. “S’that a Gibson?”

“Knockoff,” Elías admitted, laughing. “Can’t afford a real one, man. But it does its job very well, yeah?”

“Oh yeah? Show me, then,” Sirius leaned back, picking up his fork. “Surprise me.”

“Wanna be surprised?” Elías’ eyebrows shot up. “Alright. Give me one.”

“ _ More Than a Feeling _ ,” Sirius told him, challenging, eyes narrowed. He didn’t bother with the artist - if Elías knew it, he did. If not, he didn’t. He wouldn’t have been disappointed if the guy didn’t know but Elías simply moved the capo on the frets and began to pluck the strings, making Sirius laugh, incredulous. “No way.”

“Told you,” Remus laughed from the bed, eyes closed, smiling as Elías began to sing.

“ _ I looked out this morning and the sun was gone. Turned on some music to start my day. I lost myself in a familiar song. I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaaay… _ ”

Sirius jumped a bit as the electric guitar came in along with the bass and drums out of nowhere, eyes widening and when he looked at Remus, he just grinned. Sirius turned to Elías, delighted, taking a bite of his dinner -  _ fuck, it was good  _ \- and smiling as he swallowed before he began to sing along, not having sung in… so fucking long. He was probably rusty.

“ _ It's more than a feeling - _ ” he began.

“ _ More than a feeeeeeling! _ ” Elías chorused.

“ _ When I hear that old song they used to play - _ ”

“ _ More than a feeeeeeling! _ ”

“ _ And I begin dreaming - _ ”

“ _ More than a feeling! _ ”

“ _ 'Til I see Marianne walk awaaaay _ !” Sirius sang, feeling his throat get accustomed again, Elías grinning so wide that the blues of his eyes were just sparkles in the low lights of the dingy room. “ _ I see my Marianne walkin' away… _ ”

Elías worked on the strings of the guitar and Sirius felt a bit of his soul return to him from the depths of Azkaban, remembering the last time he’d heard this song in the Potter kitchen, with Harry barely old enough to blink his huge green eyes and the sudden onslaught of emotions made his own eyes water a bit.

“ _ So many people have come and gone. Their faces fade as the years go by. Yet I still recall as I wander on. As clear as the suuuun in the summer skyyyy _ !” Sirius sang, letting his voice go through, no holdbacks, hearing the deep exhale of Remus beside him and hearing the quiet  _ whoa _ of Elías, the blue-eyed man watching him with a small gasp, fingers still sure on the frets. 

They sang the chorus together but Elías let him lead the song and part of him wanted to scream them, wanted to go back to his room at the Potter’s, wanted to enjoy playing this song and hearing James’ horrid, horrid fucking voice trying to remember the lyrics. But for now, he had Remus beside him. And a new ally, a new  _ friend _ . Someone who cared for Remus and Harry deeply. He wouldn’t let himself go down the rabbit hole, not now, not ever. For Remus. For Harry. And for Lily and James.

“ _ When I'm tired and thinking cold _ ,” he sang softly, eyes on the guitar. “ _ I hide in my music, forget the day. And dream of a girl I used to know. I closed my eyes and she slipped awaaaaay… _ ” the guitar picked up and he took a deep breath. “ _ She slipped awaaaay! It’s more than a feeling! _ ”

“ _ More than a feeeeeeling! _ ” Elías nodded.

“ _ When I hear that old song they used to play - _ ”

“ _ More than a feeeeeeling! _ ” 

“ _ And I begin dreaming - _ ”

“ _ More than a feeling! _ ”

“ _ Till I see Marianne walk awaaaaay! _ ” the two sang together, the song slowly finishing, drums fading away, bass too, leaving only the strings of Elías’ knockoff acoustic Gibson, coming to a stop, Sirius’ face feeling wet. “That’s -” he laughed, wincing. “Fuck.”

“It’s a good song,” Elías said softly.

“Yeah,” Sirius rubbed his eyes, breathing in sharply. “Yeah, it is.”

“Eat,” Remus chided softly, giving him a small smile, his green eyes kind. “You need it. Once you get better, we can plan. We can catch the rat. And we can set you free.”

“It’ll be great,” Elías told Sirius, the man daring to hope. “We’ll get you and Harry free. And in the summer, you all can come down to the beach! Have some barbecues, listen to music, teach Harry some guitar, play Quidditch. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah,” Sirius laughed, heart breaking a bit. Because nothing was ever that easy but… if only it could be true. 

If only.


	42. Exhaustion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!!! We've reached 4k hits!!! That's so insane, I'm just --- THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 
> 
> And thanks to the server for always talking to me, screaming at me, inspiring me to keep writing and make this all the best I can. It's such a delight to have all of you, to have met all of you. Especial thanks to Rene, my partner, for inspiring a lot of Severus and Remus' scenes. Come join us on Discord!! https://discord.gg/FA3nf4N
> 
> Trigger warning:  
> \- Heavy bullying

On Friday, as it usually did, Elías had classes in the morning and it seemed like his students walked in with slightly green faces, making Elías’ eyebrows shoot up. His Seventh Years had Herbology? No, but Pomona had said during breakfast that she had an easy morning. Was it Potions, then?

“What’s got you all with those faces?” he frowned, sipping on his mug of coffee.

“We had… Potions,” Jane whined, the Head Girl of this year, a very short, chubby and friendly Gryffindor that always tied her hair into a perfect ponytail. “And it was  _ horrible _ , sir!”

“Oh, come on,” Elías told her gently, leaning against his desk. “It couldn’t have been that bad, could it?”

“Katie botched her potion,” Anthony pointed at the Ravenclaw and she flushed.

“I was distracted! I stayed up late doing my rounds!” she said shrilly, throwing an eraser at him, the Gryffindor dodging with a laugh. “Professor Snape put me as an example,” she whined, dropping her books on her desk and huffing. 

“What happened?” Elías laughed, amused.

“She was trying to make Aggrotentia,” Jane explained, nudging her friend. “But she mixed up some, er...  _ ingredients… _ ”

“She almost turned it into a lethal poison,” Liam chuckled, smiling at Katie, who just sank further into her seat. “And he asked us if we knew the smell of the gas, if we could recognize it.”

Elías felt a spike of panic as he remembered, eyes wide, “Oh, I’ve been through that,” he scowled. “When I was in Sixth Year, he did the same.”

“Yeah, so - he told us to back off, that he was about to turn it into the poison?” Anthony explained, making Elías blink with surprise. “Told us that the lethality of the gas was just how faint it was, that we should always be aware of scents, blah blah blah -”

“Are you serious?” Elías told them.

“Yeah! And he made the poison until we could all smell it before he vanished it!” Liam told Elías, throwing his hands up. “Then he called Pomfrey! Who does that?!”

“You’re all  _ weak _ ,” Elías gave a loud laugh, throwing his head back. “In my year, he made the poison and wouldn’t let us out until we identified which one it was. He  _ locked the door _ . Pomfrey had to treat us all.”

“What?!” Katie gasped.

“He was a dick -” Elías paused, making everyone laugh. “Pardon me, do not - please, don’t follow my example. I am  _ very _ glad that he’s changing his methods. That’s a better lesson for all of you, instead of being  _ poisoned _ .”

“Professor Snape is actually getting much nicer,” Jane nodded, suddenly grinning at Elías. “In fact - Professor Fernández?”

“Yes?” he cocked an eyebrow, finishing his mug, seeing the look of interest in their faces.

“So we have - a Potions exam soon,” she began and everyone seemed to immediately straighten up, seeing where Jane was going, Elías amusedly watching his entire class become model students. 

“Yes?” Elías smirked. 

“And - well, we’ve  _ so many exams _ ,” she told him, eyes wide. “After Easter, you know we begin N.E.W.T.s and - and we’re not really ready for that Potions exam? Because we’ve a History of Magic exam the same day so - maybe - you could talk to Professor Snape? To see if he can push back the date?”

“Only for a day! Only one, we only need one!” Philip spoke up, groaning.

“Oh?” Elías chuckled. “I see how it is.”

“Please, please,  _ please _ , Professor Fernández,” Rose begged, usually so quiet in the back of the class, hands clasped together now as she tried to make her eyes impossibly big. “If there’s someone who can get through to him, it’s you!”

“Hmm,” Elías rubbed his chin, watching his students. “But  _ are _ you ready for that exam, anyway? If he pushes it back one day, I want you all to pass, yeah?”

“We just need one more day,” Liam held onto his desk, eyes wide. “Preeetty please, sir?”

Elías looked over at all of them, taking his fingers on the side of his mug, narrowing his eyes as he pondered.

“You do know,” he began. “That I can’t assure anything, right? Even if I ask him, it’s up to  _ him _ to change the date of your exam.”

“But will you ask him, sir?” Jane breathed.

“Oh, I will,” Elías sighed, making everyone cheer. “I can’t deny all those wide eyes” he chuckled, reaching over with a rolled up map and bapping Liam over the head, making him laugh. “I hope, at the very least, that you behave today in class, Mr Woodworth.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Liam nodded, grinning. “No talking!”

“Liar!” Jane laughed, making the class follow, Elías delighted to see them in a better mood than when they’d arrived.

“At the very least, I’d love it if you tried, Liam,” Elías told him, fondly.

“I’ll try, sir,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Very well - let’s talk about the Local Supercluster, starting with the galaxies near us.”

Elías waved his wand, pulling the curtains of the tower closed until they were surrounded by darkness before the galaxies lifted from the ground, surrounding the students for a moment, taking them all the way from the Milky Way, beyond its bounds. He stood in the middle of the classroom, letting a single light shine over the desks, enough for them to be able to see and write on them but also letting them watch the stars and nebulas floating around perfectly.

“We’ve covered Andromeda in the last week, so let’s keep going and focus on Centaurus A… quills and pens out, everyone - this will be on the next exam.”

* * *

As lunch approached, Elías began to walk towards the defense class, climbing down the tower, yawning hard. He was  _ exhausted _ and the day had barely begun. Elías had slept pretty well but he felt like he could sleep for a hundred more years, rubbing his eyes a bit as he moved through the Hogwarts hallways. Tired as he was, he didn’t notice at first the laughter coming from one of the empty classrooms but pretty soon he saw two Ravenclaws posted in front of it, trying to keep the door from opening, laughing with each other.

Elías knew that kind of laugh.

“You two!” he called, frowning, making the two kids freeze, eyes wide. They were Sixth Years, Elías remembered. They weren’t in his classes. “What are you doing?”

“O-oh, hi, professor!” one of them said, quickly facing Elías, eyes wide. “I - well, we - the door of the classroom was stuck?”

“ _ Please, let me out! _ ” a panicked voice called from inside and Elías shoved the two sixteen year olds aside and opened the door, the Second Year Ravenclaw falling immediately to the ground, sobbing hard. 

Elías felt rage build inside him as he crouched, helping poor Luna Lovegood to her feet, his heart breaking as he saw the streaks of tears in her eyes. Her hair was a mess and he could see that her colorful headband was lacking the little bow it always had. She was always such a happy child, sticking with Gryffindors and speaking in a breezy voice. 

And she was  _ twelve years old _ .

“You two,” Elías hissed, glaring at them. “ _ A hundred points from Ravenclaw _ .”

The two of them paled, watching Elías with horror, the first one - who was holding to two colorful shoes that Luna was not wearing on her mismatched socked feet - began to stutter, “Y-you can’t take away so many points!”

“I can and I will!” he barked at them, making them blanch. “Another fifty! Shall I keep going or would you rather I reach two hundred?”

“N-no,” he whispered, looking terrified.

“I want you both to come after lunch to Dumbledore’s office,” Elías told them, eyes hard, his arm around Luna, the girl sniffling softly. “Bullying, accosting,  _ abusing _ a girl who is  _ four years younger _ than the two of you. Aren’t you  _ ashamed _ ? Have you got  _ no integrity _ ? The arrogance that you both display makes me  _ sick _ . Bullies!” he called, making them flinch. “Immature little  _ imbeciles _ ! Your guardians will be notified and let it be known that this will not go without a stain in your record.”

“B-but professor -”

“ _ Scram _ !” he shouted and they dropped the bow and Luna’s shoes to the ground, running away, Elías leaning down to take the girl’s belongings. “Are you alright, Ms Lovegood?” he asked softly, making her blink those huge blue eyes of hers before she nodded, sniffling. “May I ask what they did?” he moved to face her, gently handing her the little pink bow.

“T-they um, shoved me around,” she recalled, sniffling hard. “R-ripped the bow out a-and pulled on my e-ears a-and shoved me t-to take my shoes…”

“They’ll be punished for it,” Elías told her.

“I just want them to leave m-me alone,” she cried softly, rubbing her eyes and Elías kneeled in front of her, taking out his handkerchief, gently offering it to her. She took it, dabbing at her eyes and Elías softly grabbed her shoes and helped her back into them. They were full of scribbles - one upon a time they’d probably been white converse but now they had smiley faces and rainbows all over them, a huge  _ Ginny _ on the side, a  _ Neville :)  _ in another. Elías knew where to take her next, then. 

“They’ll leave you alone from now on, Luna,” Elías assured her, even tying her shoes, giving her a small smile. “May I ask why you hadn’t told anyone?”

“I d-didn’t want to b-bother anyone,” she confessed. “My f-father works late… he’s really b-busy, I don’t want him to worry.”

“Well, but you’ve been hurting,” Elías whispered to her. “It’s important that that’s acknowledged.”

“I g-guess,” she sobbed, looking down at her feet, letting the tips of her shoes touch. “T-thank you for opening the door, sir.”

“Of course,” Elías murmured, hand moving to gently brush her hair out of her eyes. “Would you like me to accompany you to lunch? Would that make you feel safer?”

She nodded, handing him back his handkerchief and Elías took it, cleaning it with a wave of his wand before tucking it back into his pocket.

“Very well,” he stood, smiling at Luna. “Hold on, wait - may I take the bow?”

Luna paused, looking at it, scrunched up in her hand before handing it to Elías. The Spaniard brushed it with his thumbs, getting rid of the wrinkles and, carefully, he used a sticky charm to put it back on her headband, adjusting it over her head, making Luna watch him.

“There we go,” he smiled. “All good.”

“Thanks, professor,” she whispered, not crying anymore.

“You’re very much welcome, Luna. Come on, it’s time for lunch,” he urged her softly, hand over her shoulder, walking back to the ground floor. On the way, though, he saw Ginny Weasley, her flaming red hair, looking around the bodies of students moving to the Great Hall and Elías moved Luna towards her, hoping that seeing a friendly face would calm her.

“Luna!” Ginny gasped, pushing through the throngs of people to get to the two of them, eyes wide. “Luna, where were you?! You missed class!”

“They  _ kept you out of class? _ ” Elías asked, horrified.

“Y-yes,” Luna nodded, quickly moving to hug Ginny, the Weasley wrapping her up in a tight hug, looking  _ murderous _ . “I-I’m sorry.”

“Was it Clearwater and McDougal again?” Ginny asked and Luna nodded. “Those - those  _ bullies _ !”

“Rest assured, Ms Weasley,” Elías spoke up, making her look up at the professor. “They’ve been summoned to Dumbledore’s office this afternoon. Do not worry.”

“Oh,” her eyes went wide. “Are - are they going to be punished?”

“Yes,” Elías crossed his arms. “Rest assured.”

“He stopped them,” Luna told Ginny and Ginny gave Elías a slow nod of respect.

“Thank you, Professor Fernández,” she told him, hand moving to grasp Luna’s. “Could we go to lunch?”

“Of course,” he nodded, looking over at the blonde. “Take care, Luna. I’ll handle everything else, alright?”

“Thanks, sir,” she smiled a bit before huffling close to Ginny, who reached up and adjusted her headband, making Luna smile, the two walking to the Great Hall.

Elías’ smile dropped as the two girls left and he felt a headache incoming already, rubbing the bridge of his nose and sighing deeply. He had to let Dumbledore and Flitwick know, as Headmaster and Head of Ravenclaw House. He’d never seen such an extreme case of bullying and he wanted nothing more than to scream his lungs off at the two students he’d caught. What fucking jackasses - sixteen, two of them, bullying a twelve year old girl. 

“Elías?”

The Astronomy Professor looked up, surprised, seeing Remus approach him with a bunch of parchments from his latest essay collection. Immediately, Elías rushed to grab some of them, helping Remus, the werewolf giving him a small smile.

“Thanks - what’s going on? You look exhausted.”

“I caught two students bullying Luna Lovegood,” Elías murmured. “ _ Heavily _ bullying her. I was - Gods, Remus, it was awful. I’ve to talk to Dumbledore and Flitwick about it.”

“They’ll probably be in the Great Hall,” Remus told him, frowning, looking sad. “Who was it?”

“Clearwater and McDougal. They’re not in my classes,” Elías pursed his lips.

“They’re in mine,” Remus sighed deeply. “Cocky. Overconfident. Very mean to other Ravenclaws. And to Hufflepuffs.”

“I scared them and hopefully that’ll knock some sense into them,” Elías sighed deeply. “Fucking -  _ bullies _ . Gods, it makes me  _ sick _ .”

Remus just patted his shoulder, trying to be supportive as they entered the Great Hall and thankfully saw the Headmaster and Head of Ravenclaw at the table, starting lunch. With a sigh, Elías walked forwards and moved before Dumbledore, who lifted his gaze. He no longer looked angry at him, his face neutral and a bit curious as Elías gave a wince.

“I caught Clearwater and McDougal bullying Lovegood. Brutally so,” he explained, making Flitwick look up, eyes wide, looking horrified. “They shoved at her, took off her shoes, ripped accessories off her and closed the door of a classroom on her to the point where she missed class.”

“That’s why she was absent,” McGonagall brought a hand to her mouth, looking sick.

“Dear  _ Rowena _ ,” Flitwick took off his glasses, breathing in sharply.

“That also explains the amount of points taken off from Ravenclaw,” Dumbledore mused, nodding. “I suppose you have sent them to my office?”

“After lunch, yes, sir,” Elías nodded. “I helped Ms Lovegood find her friends and promised her that this would have consequences.”

“And they will. Severe ones,” Dumbledore promised, making Elías’ shoulders sink a bit with relief. “I’m so very sad that this has happened.”

“Me too, Headmaster,” Elías murmured. “It was horrible.”

“I’m glad you were there to stop it,” the old wizard said, and he meant it, making Elías nod. “Sit down and have lunch. If you wish to talk to the boys -”

“No,” Elías shook his head. “I’d get too angry, sir.”

“I see,” Dumbledore sighed. “I’ll take care of it with Fillius, then.”

“Thank you,” Elías nodded one last time and moved to sit next to Remus, since Severus was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Hagrid, Septima or Sybill. “Well, that was good, at the very least. I’m ready to finish lunch and sleep for the entire weekend,” he sighed.

And just as he reached for his goblet, needing to alleviate somehow this headache, the owls flew in and a letter dropped once again on his lunch, making him groan as it splashed over his face. “Fucking -” he hissed, taking the letter from the lentils where it’d begun to sink. “I  _ hate _ owl messengers. They  _ suck _ .”

“Today really isn’t your day, huh?” Remus chuckled but he went quiet as Elías glared at him. “Alright. We’re touchy today.”

“It’s - from your father,” Elías murmured as he opened the letter, making Remus jump a bit, leaning closer to Elías. “He says this Sunday’s a good time for lunch. Says the lake would be somewhere nice? Gosfield Lake?” he turned to Remus, who was reading over the letter, looking vulnerable. “Is that okay with you?” Elías asked, a bit softly, head pounding.

“Yes,” Remus said quietly. “Y-yes, that’s fine, I… are you still coming?”

“If you want me to,” Elías nodded.

“Please,” he murmured. “Please, I - might need it. No, I  _ do _ need it, I - can’t go alone.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Elías finalized, folding the letter and giving it to Remus. “Here. Do you want us to go by apparition or would you rather I drive?”

“Drive?” Remus frowned. “Why would -”

“I find driving, going by car, is much,  _ much _ better to clear your head,” Elías explained. “I can ask my cousin Lola if she could lend me the car my sister gave her when Elena got a new one. We’ll just take it out for a day, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“... I’d actually like that,” Remus sighed deeply. “Is she nearby?”

“She lives in London,” Elías nodded.

“So it’d be just an hour or so,” Remus murmured.

“I’ll send her a quick letter then - you’ve got some parchment and quill?”

“Yes, here -” Remus nodded, handing him some before Elías pushed some plates away, writing a quick letter in Spanish before beckoning one of the resting owls to him. The fucker bit his finger when Elías didn’t give him any food so Remus was forced to give him some bread before he finally flew away, Elías looking down at his finger with a sigh. “Today is  _ really _ not your day.”

“I hate this,” Elías murmured, eyes closing, rubbing his temple. “And I still have to check on my Amortentia and go to dinner with Sev.  _ Ugh _ .”

“I’m sure he’d understand if you didn’t want to go,” Remus put gently but Elías sent him a look. “You know what? You’re right. He’d drag you out.”

“I’ll just let him know when I get to the dungeons,” Elías grunted.

“Where is he, anyway?” Remus hummed.

“Severus?” Pomona spoke up from Elías’ right, making the Spaniard turn to her. “Oh, he’s got detention with a few Hufflepuff boys this noon.”

“So he hasn’t eaten yet?” Elías frowned, looking around, starting to gather a plate for him. “Damn it, Sev.”

“Oh, how the turntables,” Remus teased.

"Shush," Elías replied, chuckling a bit as he finished setting up a decent lunch, finishing up his own before he stood. "I'll be in the dungeons, if you need me."

"When aren't you in the dungeons?" Remus asked, grinning, and Elías rolled his eyes, walking out of the Great Hall with one last glance at the Ravenclaw table, happy to see Ginny and Neville disregarding the non official rules of the tables and sitting beside her, working hard to make her giggle.

Careful not to drop Severus' lunch, Elías began to make his way towards the potions classroom, yawning hard, exhaustion leaking into his limbs. What he wouldn't do for a nice, long nap. Perhaps he  _ was _ turning into a stereotypical southern Spaniard. 

The hallways were deserted at this hour, with everyone either enjoying lunch in the Great Hall or outside or in Hogsmeade, so Elías' steps echoed and he began to feel the edges of a Sight starting to creep in. He whined a bit, wanting to push it but instead he slinked into an empty classroom, putting Severus' food on a desk, leaning against the wall and just… letting it pass gently. Like the flow of a river, Elías buoyant in time and space.

He found himself in the future this time, and he knew because Harry looked older, had some stubble, was leaning against the rocks of Hogwarts, by the bridge on the East side. He was staring down at the vastness of the fall, touching his split lip, eyes tired, when Hermione and Ron walked over to him, just as old and just as banged up, leaning into his sides, making him smile.

_ "Now what? _ " The Hermione from the Sight asked.

" _ Yeah, now what? _ " Harry replied, laughing, voice sore as he held onto his wand tight, looking at the horizon. " _ It's a bit crazy, isn't it? To think that it's finally over _ ?"

" _ I don't know what you two are talking about _ ," Ron told them, grinning, leaning into Harry further. " _ Don't you both know we never get a break, huh? _ "

The three friends laughed a bit, sounding exhausted but… satisfied.

" _ I think _ ," Harry began, slowly, turning a bit more serious. " _ I think I want to spend time with my family. Enjoy the summer. Just this once, you know _ ?"

" _ That's a good one _ ," Ron murmured.

" _ I can get behind that _ ," Hermione smiled, ruffling Harry's hair, and the three of them smiled before Elías was taken back to the present. He rubbed his face, blinking hard, looking at the time to find that only thirty seconds had passed, more or less.

It was comforting, he found, to see that in the future there was a chance that it all worked out. Only a chance but… still one. Elías felt like he could collapse at any moment from relief, taking deep breaths, eyes closing, vision going from blurry to solid. Once it did, he stood, a bit gobble, and made his way down to the dungeons, wanting to give Severus his lunch, check on the Amortentia and just  _ go to sleep _ .

He knocked on the door first but he heard Severus speaking, probably not hearing his intrusion, so Elías poked his head inside, blinking as he saw two boys deeply cleaning the biggest cauldrons with toothbrushes as Severus read them… their own essays? The kids must've been Fifth Years.

"Elías?" Severus frowned and Elías waved. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on my potion," he explained, holding back a yawn and moving forward, offering him what he'd gathered at the Great Hall. "And I brought you lunch, too."

"Ah," he blinked, surprised, watching Elías for a moment before taking the plate, putting it on his desk, frowning at him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I'm just - tired. Don't think we can do the usual tonight," Elías confessed.

"Feel free to skip it, then," Severus said, but he looked worried. "Your Amortentia is in my office."

"Thanks," Elías sent him a smile, walking behind Severus' desk and into his office, finding the little golden cauldron by the window to the lake. 

He sat down, ready to work on it but just for a moment, he leaned into the window, closing his eyes, feeling the coolness of the lake and the relief of his Sight and the exhaustion from this morning all mixed up. He didn't want to, thought he was simply closing his eyes for a moment but before he knew it, he was falling asleep on Severus' chair, seeing a mercreature wander about, the warmth of the fire in the coolness of the dungeons lulling him into a deep, dreamless slumber.

* * *

When Elías woke up next, it was to someone retiring the potion from the table, making him blink into his arms, wondering when he'd hunched over to rest against the wooden table. He yawned, looking up a bit, seeing Severus moving around, gently setting the golden cauldron in a safe place before turning to Elías, frowning.

"You fell asleep," he stated.

"I did, sorry, I - I had a Sight outside your classroom and it was a nice one. I - was relieved and I also - well, I  _ did _ sleep well but uh, I caught two Ravenclaws bullying a poor girl and then I also have to - well, I-"

Severus lifted a hand, making Elías stop, the Spaniard too tired to keep going anyway. He rested his chin on his arms, exhausted still. He could go to bed now, right? There was nothing stopping him. He had no classes and Severus had told him that he understood.

"How long have you been tired?" Severus asked.

"Huh? Oh - since Monday. Maybe late Sunday," he explained, rubbing his eye. "I think I'm just a bit burnt out, is all."

"Hm," was all Severus said, pursing his lips. "Then go catch up some sleep. Use this weekend to rest."

"Mhmm," Elías nodded, standing carefully, sending Severus a small smile as he passed the potions professor, too tired to notice the worried furrow of his brow or the way he prepared his hands to catch Elías if he fell. "Thanks, Sev. Did you like your lunch?"

"I did," he murmured. "Thank you. For… thinking of me."

"You do the same," Elías patted his chest before his hand slipped away, covering another yawn. “Oh, I forgot - could I ask you for something?”

Severus pursed his lips, watching him sway a bit, hand moving to the small of his back as Elías looked up at the potions master, so tall that he was.

“Yes,” Severus sighed.

“Your Seventh Years - Ravenclaw and Gryffindor? They’ve an exam on History of Magic on the same day and they’ve been super stressed, trying to figure out how to get both equally prepared. Do you think you could perhaps move the date back a bit? Just like, a day?”

Severus sighed deeply, eyes already hard, ready to tell Elías no and the Astronomy Professor groaned a bit, leaning into his chest, playing it up for his students with a pout and tired eyes, trying to be cute.

Severus hesitated, his hand on Elías’ back twitching.

“Please?” Elías added, breathy, trying to be as convincing as possible.

“... I’ll think about it,” Severus scowled, looking away. “How about you take care of yourself, hmm? Since you can  _ barely stand. _ ”

“I’ll try,” he grunted, rubbing his face and stepping back. "Gods, I'm really burnt out."

He laughed a bit, moving on to the classroom and finally exiting the dungeons, blinking as he realized that it was dark already. Elías frowned, wondering how much his recent Sight had fucked with him before he moved forward, thinking only of his bed at the… Astronomy Tower…

Elías paused, frowning, looking back at the dungeons and being tempted to ask Severus if he could just sleep in his office. As a cat it'd be nice, spread on the rug. Warm by the fire, lulled by the sight of the dark waters of the Black Lake and the occasional mercreature. He wondered if Severus' rooms were also in the dungeons and he suddenly felt jealousy pour into him. He should've gone for the dungeons, for his rooms. Could he change that, perhaps next year?

He ended up choosing to go to Remus', because asking Severus to sleep in his office made a bit of shame crawl up the back of his neck, while asking Remus didn't feel too bad. The man must've been in his office and that one was cozy as well - so he headed there, passing by students that were ready to start enjoying the weekend, smiling tiredly at a few and finally reaching the defense classroom.

To his surprise, he found Pansy and Blaise waiting outside, along with… Hermione Granger, of all people, the two girls talking with smiles, although Pansy's was more of a smirk.

"C'mon, you're telling me that they don't beg you for essays?" Pansy laughed.

"They sure do!" Hermione huffed and Blaise rolled his eyes.

"Lazy. I don't do anyone's essays."

"That's a lie, you do Theo's," Pansy pointed out and Hermione straightened up, wiggling her eyebrows at Blaise, who flushed and shoved at her face a bit, making Hermione and Pansy laugh. "Don't look at me like that, Granger!"

"Hey, guys," Elías said softly, smiling as wide as he could, although he was extremely tired, making the three of them look over at him. "What's going on?"

"Theo's in Professor Lupin's office," Pansy told him, smiling. "And then we're going to eat dinner by the Greenhouses. Professor Sprout said we could!"

"Ah, that's so nice," Elías smiled at them, glancing at Hermione and Blaise - the latter who still didn't seem too impressed with Elías. "I see you're making new friends?'

Hermione flushed a little, smiling a bit and nodding, blushing as Blaise's arm moved over her shoulder, eyes a bit challenging. Elías didnt know exactly what he'd done for Blaise to distrust him but in a house like Slytherin and in a family like the Zabini's, he didn't have to guess much. He was protective of his friends and that included Hermione, which meant all good things 

"Yes, s-sir," she stuttered.

"Good. Don't live in an echochamber," he told her, approving, just as the door opened and Theodore walked out, making the three of them turn to him. Theodore seemed caught for a moment as he saw Elías, but then grinning.

"So? What did he say?" Pansy urged, her hands moving around Theodore's elbow, eager.

"If I pass next exam," he announced, laughing. "Then I pass this term and the previous."

"YES!" Pansy shouted, throwing herself at Theo, the boy laughing wildly as he hugged her back, Pansy raining kisses on his cheek while Hermione clapped a bit, bouncing on her heels, Blaise ruffling Theo's hair. "I told you! I told you you could do it!"

"Thanks to you, Hermione," Theo smiled at her, offering a fist, which she clumsily bumped. "Thanks for that summary you made, that… that was a  _ lifesaver _ ."

"O-oh! You're welcome! I - I already had it made, it was - it was nothing!" She hurried to say but Pansy moved to her side, smiling wide, hip-checking her.

"She's a nerd! Just like Blaisey!" Her arm went around Hermione's shoulders, pulling her along. "And you shall be treated as such! Queen of the nerds, Granger!"

"Pansy -" Blaise warned, he and Theo catching up with the girls, the clash of gold and red vs silver and green making something catch in Elías' throat. He'd never thought he'd see that. And he only hoped that it'd last. And spread. And  _ change _ what everyone else thought.

He eventually walked into Remus' office, sighing deeply, fighting to stay awake and honestly? Fuck it. He changed into cat shape, yawning as he slipped into the office, seeing Remus working away at his desk. With a soft meow he called his attention, making Remus blink at Elías, quill still in his hand.

"Elías?" He laughed, watching him approach. "What's going on? Why are you a cat?"

Elías said nothing - as cats are to do - and dropped on the carpet in front of the fireplace, curling up, yawning hard again before closing his eyes.

"Too lazy to go up the tower, huh?" Remus asked, Elías' ear flicking in acknowledgement. "Alright, alright. I won’t say anything. You can stay there and sleep.”

Elías relaxed, purring softly, feeling his entire body relax on the soft carpet before delving once more into sleep, his paws curled underneath his fluffy body and his tail moving slowly.

* * *

Remus stood as dinner approached, putting his quill and ink away, looking over at the carpet in front of the chimney to check on Elías - the cat was dead asleep, on his side, curled like a shrimp. He felt a small smile come over his lips and he didn’t fight it, watching for a moment. He usually didn’t like cats but… Elías as a kitty was kind of cute.

He approached Elías, looking down at him, seeing him breathing softly, little furry body moving with each inhale and exhale. Remus hated the thought of actually waking him up so he tried to gently scoop up Elías into his arms, ending up cradling him against his chest, Elías’ paws brushing his jaw, making him chuckle. He hesitated for a moment, then, and reached up to grab one of his paws, squishing the beans. Just one. Professionally.

Elías chirped, bapping him on the face and Remus laughed, “Sorry, sorry, keep sleeping - they’re just really pink.”

The noise Elías made was adorable but Remus reigned it in, carrying him like a baby in his arms, walking out of his office and locking it behind him, starting to walk to the Astronomy Tower. He was a bit worried about how much sleep Elías was requiring lately but the bloke was probably either burnt out from so many things happening at once. Nothing that a weekend’s rest wouldn’t heal.

Remus  _ did _ feel a bit sad that tonight Elías wouldn’t join Sirius and him - the previous night they’d all had such a good time, almost as if Sirius wasn’t still wearing Azkaban clothes and wasn’t an escaped convict. He’d been singing with Elías all those songs that Remus had heard from both of them before, talking in rapid-fire conversation, hitting it off just like Remus had thought they would. He felt his hand move to gently stroke Elías’ little head, the cat purring loudly, tail swishing. Sometimes he felt like Remus should’ve been in Sirius’ place, like he’d deserved to have a free life more than Remus did.

“Here we are,” he murmured as he entered Elías’ rooms, walking to the bedroom and gently putting him down in bed, Elías immediately slinking into the sheets like a little goblin. Remus laughed. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to dinner?”

A chirp from him, an annoyed one. Remus lifted his hands and stood.

“Alright, alright. Have a good night, Elías,” he told the cat, not expecting an answer and already turning around.

“Night, Moony,” he murmured back and Remus froze, surprised to hear him say that particular name, turning around to see Elías laying on his bed, eyes closed, already asleep.

He frowned a bit, worried, tapping with his finger the frame of the door before just walking away, closing everything behind him. Elías just needed sleep. That was all. He should stop hovering over him and worry so unnecessarily. If there was something going on, Elías would tell him. And if he didn’t tell Remus, then he’d tell Severus, and Severus would do something about it. And it’d be  _ fine _ . Because Remus could see that at the very least, Severus cared for Elías. In what way? He didn’t know but - it didn’t matter. It was none of his business.

So he had his dinner, sitting down at the table with the rest of the staff, and saw Severus walking into the Great Hall, his eyes scanning him. He looked mildly annoyed but Remus knew it was his default face, so he didn’t think too hard on it. Yet as he took a bite of his dinner, he heard the chair beside him scrape and Pomona watched with wide eyes as Severus sat next to Remus, almost giving McGonagall a heart attack, the woman gaping.

“Where is he?” Severus asked.

“Asleep,” Remus replied, knowing this was about Elías and nothing else but unable to help it as he glanced at Severus, a bit amused. “He was tired.”

“So he said,” Severus scowled. “Damn fool. Should take better care of himself.”

“I… agree,” Remus said slowly, still surprised that Severus was engaging him in a conversation, even if it was about the one friend that they had in common. “He’s obviously a little burnt out -”

“He’s depressed.”

Remus blinked, not expecting that turn, and he thought about how Elías had been mildly annoyed but not… sad?

“I… don’t know about that,” Remus began. “He didn’t seem  _ sad _ .”

“I don’t mean depression,” Severus rolled his eyes. “A  _ depressive episode _ . Right now he won’t be sad, just tired. And then he’ll start feeling apathetic. And then he won’t even come out of his rooms.”

“Oh.  _ Oh _ ,” Remus felt a bit like a fool, indeed, as he remembered that Elías was  _ bipolar _ . He’d told Remus before, and - well, he hadn’t thought much about it. “Are - are you sure? How do you know it’s not just - a burnout? Or maybe getting sick?”

“I know it,” Severus said against the rim of his goblet before sighing. “Just - get him out of his rooms in the morning, will you? I’ll take care of the nights. If he locks up, it’ll be worse in the long run.”

“A-alright,” Remus stuttered, surprised that Severus was confiding him in, a small smile on his lips. “You know, Severus, it’s nice to see you caring so much for s -”

“The sound of your voice is grating and obnoxious, Lupin,” Severus hissed at him, making Remus’ jaw click shut. “I tolerate you only because he, for some ungodly reason, enjoys your presence -” he paused, glaring at Remus. “- and more. Don’t think I don’t know what happened.”

“I know you know,” Remus whispered.

“You’re still standing only because he wants you to,” Severus told him.

“I very much know that, yes,” Remus admitted.

“Good. Keep in mind, Lupin,” he said, pushing away his half-eaten plate before he stood, angrily walking down the Great Hall, Remus wondering if his own ability to piss off the potions professor was the same ability Sirius had of pissing Remus off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join uuuuus! https://discord.gg/FA3nf4N


	43. Quizás

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Trigger Warning:  
> \- Mentions of cult tactics  
> \- Discussion of bullying  
> \- Discussion of mental illness (bipolarity type II)

On Saturday, Remus awoke in Sirius’ bed, face pressed to the man’s shoulder, grunting softly as he let his eyes flutter open. He let in a breath, yawning wide, rubbing his face hard as he looked over at Sirius - sitting up, eyes on the window as always, longing exuding from him. Remus reached over for his arm, squeezing where that tattoo of the four of them sat, where he knew his fingers would brush the past but ground Sirius back to the present.

It seemed to work, Sirius blinking before he turned to Remus, giving him a small smile. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink.

“You alright?” Remus asked quietly, raspy, voice unused.

“Yeah, just - couldn’t sleep,” Sirius murmured, watching Remus. “You got any plans today?”

“None, really. Mostly correcting exams before Easter begins,” Remus sighed, letting his head rest against Sirius’ side, trying not to feel too happy about Sirius’ hand moving to touch his hair. “And you?” he teased a bit.

“Oh, you know - I was thinking of traveling for a while. Hanging out in London. Maybe go back to France and pay my cousin a visit,” he laughed, making Remus huff a bit. “Hey - are you doing better, mate? Last night was emotional.”

“You could say that,” Remus mumbled, thinking of the way he’d cried and sobbed hysterically and nearly had a panic attack about seeing his father again. 

“It’ll be fine, Moony,” Sirius told him, tweaking his nose with a gentle hand. “Yeah? You’ll see papa Lupin again and he even gets to approve of your lil’ crush.”

“ _ Sirius _ ,” Remus flushed, punching him in the stomach, making the man laugh and choke a bit, doubling over. “Fuck - what time is it?”

“Dunno,” Sirius yawned and Remus reached over to his own pocketwatch, cursing, starting to stand and trying to look presentable. “You look like you just got fucked and are doing the walk of shame.”

Remus blushed up to the roots of his hair, feeling his stomach burst into butterflies when he looked at Sirius and found him smirking, still looking delectable through the grime and unkept beard and horribly long hair. Remus hated that he did. Remus hated his grey eyes, his wide smirk, the way he leaned back in such a familiar position and he was taken back to the hundreths of times that he’d furiously wanked as a teenager because of  _ him _ .

Sirius received a blanket to the face, making him laugh loudly and Remus worked hard to straighten up his collar, still red on the cheeks.

“You know, I thought after all of this, you would’ve matured a little,” Remus pointed out with a huff.

“Oh, I have,” Sirius peeked over the blankets, grinning wide. “Just - you know. I also don’t give a shit about hiding how I feel about you now, even if it’s not going anywhere.”

“Have you  _ ever _ cared about hiding your feelings, Padfoot?” Remus rolled his eyes, grabbing his wand from between the blankets, leaning down just enough for Sirius to grab his arm and pull him in, making Remus stumble into the bed and into Sirius’ lap. “ _ Sirius! _ ”

“Don’t leave,” Sirius told him, rolling so his bandaged ankle was safe and he caged Remus into the bed with one arm and his own body, Remus’ green eyes wide. “It’s Saturday. You’ve no office hours until Sunday.  _ Fuck it _ . Stay with me.”

“I’ve got so many exams to correct,” Remus breathed at him, trying not to throw up his heart as Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Nerd. No. You can do that tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow I’ve lunch with my  _ father _ , Sirius -”

“But the rest of the day is free!”

“You just want me to yourself -”

“And what if I do?” Sirius challenged, making Remus breathe out with a stutter. “I want you to myself. Sue me. Elías and all those students get to see you and talk to you out in the open. I only get to have you at night. Have you thought that maybe I wanna see you during the day? When your eyes look so  _ fucking _ beautiful?”

“Sirius -” Remus choked. “Merlin, how can you just  _ say _ those things?”

“Because I’ve held them back for years, do you really think that after all we’ve been through, I’m not gonna tell everyone what’s in my mind?” Sirius said, a bit furious. “Good fucking Godric, Remus, you’re  _ beautiful _ . You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met. I think you fucked me over because ever since I started to look at you? I’ve never been able to see any other man.”

“That’s a lie, you’ve fucked plenty,” Remus swallowed. “I know you have.”

“Doesn’t mean I’ve felt anything for them,” Sirius murmured, hand reaching to play with Remus’ hair, as if the werewolf wasn’t already having a heart attack. “Has Elías told you how fucking good looking you are?”

“He’s alluded to it,” Remus blushed hard and Sirius grinned.

“Hell yeah,” he laughed, suddenly leaning down to kiss Remus’ cheek, making him whine. “Can I do that?”

“You already did,” Remus laughed a bit hysterically, then nodded. “Fine. But don’t - get carried away.”

“When don’t I?” Sirius let his own head rest on the pillows, chuckling.

“Idiot,” Remus replied fondly, swallowing before he sat up, standing again, checking his clothes. “I’ve to go. I made - a promise, too. Can’t tell you because it’s personal but uh, I need to check on Elías this morning. And it’s already late enough.”

“Is he alright?” Sirius frowned, looking worried. “He didn’t come yesterday -”

“He’s -” Remus hesitated, frowning. “Well, I - he’s tired. Exhausted. I think he’s burnt out but Severus pointed to something else? But again, it’s - it’s private, Sirius, I don’t want to tell you anything that Elías might not want you to know.”

“Alright, that’s fair,” Sirius nodded, giving him a small smile. “Just - let me know tonight if he’s doing fine. I think I quite like him, yeah?”

“I know,” Remus chuckled, smiling at him. “You two should make a band.”

“Oh, sure,” Sirius laughed. “A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. That’ll end in two weeks.”

Remus just shook his head, giving Sirius one last glance before he walked out of the shack, feeling his heart go  _ bum bum bum _ as if hearing it would help him at all. He thought that once he saw Sirius, he’d find himself a bit more grounded, a bit less floaty. Elías had assured him that Sirius was alright, that he was innocent, that everything Remus had wished, was real. And now that it was in front of him, it only gave him the usual panic that came with Sirius - the fast heartbeat, the blushing, the stuttering whenever he did something out-there. Whenever he was vocal or flirted.

And now he did it  _ whenever they were alone _ . 

Remus hurried back to the castle, trying not to think about his conflicting feelings about Sirius, hiding with an easily invisibility spell before slipping into the Astronomy Tower, climbing up the stairs. It was nearly eleven in the morning, he didn’t really expect Elías to be asleep still, but he  _ was _ a bit worried. He’d never thought about what  _ he _ would do if Elías had a depressive episode or if he had hypomania. Severus seemed so sure of himself while Remus felt like he was fumbling in the dark.

Which… seemed to turn out exactly like that. Because when Remus knocked and there was no answer, he poked his head in - and blinked through the darkness, surprised. Elías’ rooms were never dark, curtains wide open always but as Remus lit up the tip of his wand, he saw that indeed, the thick curtains were drawn. Worried, Remus moved to the bedroom, knocking on the door, frowning deeply. “Elías?” he called.

No answer.

Remus took only a split second to open the door, heart in his throat, fearing what he might see, entering the bedroom and finding Elías frowning as he shone the light towards the bed. Remus breathed out a sigh of relief as he saw the Spaniard unharmed, still in yesterday’s clothes, wrinkled, the curtains drawn as well here. It smelled and felt stifling in the room and is lupine side picked up the crude, rolling smell of apathy, feeling his stomach clench at it.

“Remus?” Elías groaned, putting his hand over the light and Remus pursed his lips.

“It’s late, Elías, you should get up,” he told him gently, sitting down on the edge of the bed, shaking the Astronomy professor with a soft hand but Elías turned his back on Remus, humming. “Elías -”

“I’ve had such a busy week,” he rasped. “Can’t I just - stay in bed for an entire day?”

Remus sighed, “No, you’ve to eat.”

“Ugh, no,” Elías groaned, pulling one of his pillows over his head. “M’so tired.”

“You’ve slept for over  _ twelve _ hours,” Remus said, incredulous, hand moving to pull away the pillow and touch Elías’ forehead, finding it kind of warm but not burning. He had no fever -

Elías’ breath hitched, eyes fluttering and Remus froze for a moment, watching the man’s hands shake before he quickly put them away, somewhere Remus couldn’t see. But he’d already caught him and Remus pursed his lips.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I’m just tired,” Elías whispered.

“Elías, you can’t be  _ tired  _ -”

“Well, I  _ am _ ,” the Spaniard bit out, pushing his hand off his forehead, looking away. “I want to stay here, go away.”

“You’re not staying in bed all day,” Remus decreted before he suddenly found himself in the floor with a hard thud, dropping his wand, realizing that Elías had  _ kicked him out of the bed _ . He could scarcely believe it, turning to the man but he was already pulling pillows over his head. “You’re acting like a child, get out of be -”

“I  _ am _ a child, though, aren’t I?” Elías sneered, the tone making Remus blanch. “Or am I only a child when you’re not kissing me, hmm?”

Remus felt a pang of pain over his chest and he clenched his jaw, standing slowly, gabbing his wand.

“You’re lashing out,” he told Elías. “Because you’re having a de-”

“I’m telling you to leave me the fuck alone, I’ve nothing else to do and I’m  _ exhausted _ . You’re the one who woke me up, who came into my rooms, who’s calling me a child for the thousandth fucking time!” Elías snapped, taking a pillow and throwing it at Remus, the man dodging it. “Now  _ fuck off _ !” he barked, dropping back on the bed.

“Fucking  _ hell _ , Elías!” Remus gasped, eyes wide. He’d never seen him act this way and it was partly terrifying and partly annoying. He wanted to pull him out of bed by the ankles but he knew better than to do it himself. Elías would kick at him and they would possibly get into another fight that wouldn’t end well. So Remus walked out of the bedroom, out of his rooms overall, and began to make his way to the dungeons, sighing deeply. 

He’d thought he’d be dealing with a melancholic, possibly crying Elías. That, he could do but anger? Annoyance? That stubbornness? He couldn’t handle that. Comfort was easy to give to Elías and he’d thought that maybe a hug, an ear to lend, a bit of a bribe - going to San Fernando, getting some nice food, soaking into the waves - it’d do him well. And it would, right now, but he didn’t know how to  _ deal _ with this at all.

So he went to Snape. Because he wouldn’t have mercy on Elías.

Remus found him in his office, of course he did, and Remus looked like shit, probably, or maybe it was just that Severus hated him with a passion, because the disdain on his face truly was something to frame. Remus ignored it, walking in after knocking, sighing deeply.

“So - do you remember our conversation yesterday?” he began and Severus was already rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Elías refuses to get out of bed.”

“Of  _ course _ he does,” Severus sighed. “And you didn’t think of pulling him out?”

“He kicked me away,” Remus replied, feeling a bit foolish now that he said it, getting Severus’ infamous eyeroll before the potions professor moved a potion he’d been working on out of the fire and to a safe place, standing, walking past him with narrowed eyes. “He - he won’t answer the door -”

“Obviously, he won’t,” Severus deadpanned.

“You know a lot about this,” Remus began as he followed him up the dungeon stairs to the ground floor. “Has this happened bef -”

“If he hasn’t told you, I won’t tell you,” Severus cut him off, making Remus swallow down his next words. “Just because you’re  _ useless _ when he’s not pretending to be  _ happy _ , doesn’t mean that you get to feel  _ bad _ now, Lupin.”

Remus felt his insides clench at the words, guilt flooding him, “What do you mean pretending?” he whispered.

“You truly think the bipolar, traumatized, seer on  _ steroids _ is that bubbly and kind and happy for real?” Severus huffed. “He’s a  _ mess _ . And he likes to pretend he’s not by keeping up a happy front for everyone. For the kids, for the staff, for you and even for me.”

“Elías is a happy person,” Remus replied firmly. “He may get - like this sometimes, but that’s his mental illness, Severus. Not  _ him _ .”

“His mental illness  _ is  _ part of him, you utter imbecile,” Severus sneered, climbing up the empty stairs of the side corridor he’d chosen to go through, devoid of children roaming the halls on a Saturday morning. “No one is that cheerful. The man has been through hell, you truly believe it’s not a front?”

“I know it’s not a front,” Remus stated, glaring at bit at the back of Severus’ head. “Not everyone thinks like you, Severus. Not everyone has to be outwardly  _ miserable _ .”

“Oh? Instead they choose to be miserable only when it suits them, right?” Severus spoke, making Remus start to slow his steps on the lit corridor, watching Severus’ back, knowing a fight was coming. “You only choose to show how  _ miserable _ you are when it gets you a kiss, doesn’t it, Lupin?”

“That was a mistake and we’re already past that,” Remus murmured but Severus lifted a hand, still giving him his band, slowly clenching it as if the man was imagining wringing Remus’ neck. “It’s none of your busin -”

“Like  _ hell  _ it’s not,” he whipped around, taking the few short steps to reach Remus, pressing a finger into his chest but Remus had known this man since they were eleven years old and he wouldn’t back down, glaring back. “You sit in your high Gryffindor throne, waiting for praise to rain down on you just because Elías is  _ good _ and you look  _ sad _ enough for him to take pity. It’s  _ disgusting _ .”

“I don’t ask for pity,” Remus told him patiently - at least for the moment. “Elías and I are friends, I made a mistake near the full moon, that is all there is.”

“Don’t take me for a fool,” Severus sneered, glaring back at Remus.

“I don’t,” Remus sighed. “I know you hate me for what I did -”

“No,” Severus replied, making Remus look up with surprise into his dark, black eyes. “I hate you not because of what you did, or what you are, Lupin. Do not mistake my intentions - I hate you because despite it all, despite all of what you’ve seen, all that you’ve learnt, all that you have lost, you  _ still _ believe that you’re above me. And above every single person around you.”

“I don’t -” Remus swallowed, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’m -”

“Narcissism feels nice, doesn’t it?” Severus spat, making Remus just freeze. “To believe that everything is about you, everything revolves around you - it doesn’t just involve  _ you _ , you imbecile. Now you’re playing with Elías, too. So perhaps you should tell him the truth and admit that you’re just a lowly coward who can’t confess his feelings and the wrongness of it - instead of telling him that you’re  _ lonely _ and he was  _ conveniently there _ .”

“I -” Remus felt his hands shake. “I can’t tell him. If I do -”

“What? He’ll get closure and move on?” Severus seemed  _ livid _ . “How so very like you, Lupin. To be so afraid that you’ll harm others. You use pity and sympathy like a weapon against those that care about you and they ignore their own needs because your situation is just  _ that much worse _ , isn’t it?”

“Severus,  _ please _ ,” he begged, choked up.

“You take advantage of people who are  _ good _ , and that’s how you live. Like a leech, taking everyone’s happiness with you,” Severus continued, no mercy to his words, stepping closer and closer, forcing Remus to move back, his eyes wide and shiny. “What a slimy little  _ shite _ . You were a coward back in Hogwarts and you’re still a coward now.”

Remus said nothing, trying to breathe, feeling his throat close up. He felt shame running through his veins, self-hatred almost making him double over because Severus was  _ right _ .

“You and your friends stood in a pillar of self-righteousness while hanging me upside down, letting everyone see me in underwear,” Severus spit out. “And you dare - you  _ dare _ to fool Elías into thinking you’re a good man now, that you’ve changed, that if Potter, Black and Pettigrew were here, you wouldn’t do it all over again. How many times have you held yourself from calling me all those petty insults you used as a teenager on me?”

“None,  _ none _ ,” Remus breathed, trying to make him understand but Severus was  _ furious _ , red in the face, shoving him against the wall.

“I’m taller than you now, Lupin,” he snarled. “And I can put you on the ground if I so desired. You have no power over me anymore.”

Remus panted a bit, feeling on the verge of tears, knowing that this wasn’t unfounded, that this was a direct result of years of bullying. And Merlin, he regretted those. He regretted his participation, his complacency with it all. He saw the sullen, pale-faced Severus from the past, trying to move in the air, panicked as everyone laughed at him and as an adult now, as someone who could see it from an outsider’s perspective, it  _ horrified _ him.

“I’m s-sorry,” he stuttered, trying to make it real, trying to give Severus something, anything. Because he’d taken a lot from him already. “Severus, I’m  _ so sorry _ .”

“I’m not Elías,” Severus stepped back, stony gaze heavy on Remus. “I do  _ not _ forgive you. And I never will.”

“That’s fair,” Remus croaked, hand moving to his tie, loosening it a little. “I - that’s fair.”

“The only reason you stand is because  _ he _ is allowing it,” Severus repeated his words from last night but Remus saw them for what they were now. Not a simple statement. It was a threat. “Do another of your  _ full moon mistakes  _ and you’ll find yourself under the ground. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” Remus murmured.

“Good.”

With that, he turned back towards the end of the hall, walking to it, leaving Remus with an unsettling feeling in his chest. He knew it was owed, he knew he should feel it, but he hadn’t allowed himself to. He’d kept telling himself that it was in the past, that it didn’t matter anymore, and Elías had agreed - but maybe he hadn’t known the extent of it. Maybe he didn’t know about the nicknames that had been spread, the ridicule, the  _ focus _ James had had on Severus for such a long time. He wondered what parts Elías had Seen.

After he shook himself out of it, he pondered whether to follow Severus and help Elías or to hide away in his rooms to ponder over Severus’ words. But he was worried. And Severus didn’t need the burden of helping Elías on his own. Remus owed him at least a little bit of help, if only to try and be a better man than he’d been before.

He caught up with the man, seeing him make a displeased face but since he said nothing further, Remus let it be, keeping silent himself. The two moved on to the Astronomy Tower in that tense quiet and as they climbed the spiral staircase to Elías’ rooms, Remus began to feel doubt overtake him. Maybe he shouldn’t come here. Maybe he wasn’t as alright with Elías as he thought he was. Maybe -

Severus pushed the door open without grace, flicking his wrist harshly to move his wand, the curtains immediately thrown aside by his magic, windows flung open, fresh air and light streaming into the rooms. Already it looked and felt much different. Remus paused as Severus marched straight to the bedroom, hesitating, thinking that it’d be a full-blown fight in just a moment.

The potions professor had the same treatment for the room where Elías was deeply sleeping and Remus winced as light flooded in and Elías whined, pulling a pillow over his head. He was  _ still _ wearing yesterday’s clothes. It was around noon by now.

“Get up,” Severus told him, no room for discussion but Elías simply rolled over. “Elías, get  _ out of the bed _ .”

“Fuck off.”

“Very well, you left me no choice,” Severus growled, wand moving and Remus stumbled back as the mattress flew up to the ceiling, Elías yelping as he rolled off it into the floor, grunting hard. “Get up, Elías.”

“No,” he replied, taking the blankets that had fallen and trying to pull them over him. “You two are so entitled and ann -”

“If you want us to  _ stop _ treating you like a child, then  _ stop acting like one _ !” Severus told him, making Elías throw a middle finger at him. “Get up. Wash your face.  _ Shave _ .”

“I can do that tomorrow,” Elías told him, Remus watching this all unfold, wondering how Severus had the patience for it. Severus had  _ no patience _ with anyone, as far as he could tell. “Why are you two so fucking annoying? Seriously, it’s just one day -”

“It’d one day, then the next, then the next and the next, and you can fool Lupin but you can’t fool  _ me _ ,” Severus rolled his eyes and reached down to rip the blankets from Elías, Elías sitting up finally but only to glare at his friends. “Elías -”

“I just want to  _ sleep - _ ”

“Elías, you’re on a  _ depressive episode _ ,” Severus snapped and that seemed to finally do it.

Elías blinked, startled, his puffy eyes closing as he quickly began to rub them, swallowing, hand running through his hair. He looked at Severus for a moment, then at Remus, at the mattress slowly falling back onto his bed frame and the blankets stewed around him.

“Oh,” he mumbled.

“I know it’s hard to see it, it’s understandable,” Severus sighed deeply, dropping the blanket before offering a hand at him. “Get up. Wash your face. Shave. And you’ll -”

“Yeah,” Elías murmured, taking his hand and Remus saw the curl of their fingers together, the way Elías’ pale, tattooed hand slid perfectly into Severus’ and for some reason, it brought him a small sense of relief - to know that even if Remus couldn’t get through to him, couldn’t do the right thing, Severus… he did care for Elías. And they were friends. And the man wanted to help him.

There was no jealousy. Just relief.

“Thanks, Sev,” Elías murmured, shamefully looking down at the carpet but the potioneer lifted his chin up with the fingers that weren’t still holding onto Elías’, eyes dark.

“Do not apologize for your illness. You cannot help it. Apologize for the actions that hurt others, if anything. But don’t apologize for being exhausted and irritated.”

Remus took note of that, leaning into the doorway, watching the interaction. He suddenly thought back of Lucius and Severus, when he’d seen them at Narcissa’s wedding, the way Lucius had been a mentor figure. There was something similar to that, in this moment, of Severus gently guiding Elías with loose fingers on his chin. But - something else as well. Something Remus now hesitated to call Severus’ fancy. It wasn’t like that. At least, he felt, not  _ yet _ . But he knew it could happen.

“Alright,” Elías sighed, eyes dropping from Severus’. “Thank you.”

“Go wash your face,” was all Severus replied with, oddly soft for his usual tone of voice, waving his wand to put the bedroom back together as Elías marched towards his washroom, not meeting Remus’ eyes. 

Remus said nothing, either, not sure what to say but he put the living room back together as well, blankets like Elías liked them - over the back of the couch. Much like back in  _ El Rompido _ . He also lit the fireplace, to try and make it a bit homier and combat the kind of cold breeze sweeping through the rooms. Once Severus was done with some cleaning magic, he leaned against the wall, waiting for Elías.

With the washroom door open, Elías began by pouring cold water over his face, making a noise of complaint but he quickly did it again, shaking his head, panting a bit. He looked a bit at war with himself as he reached for some muggle shaving foam, sighing.

“Put some music,” Remus encouraged, making him look over at him with surprise. “Something nice. For me?” he smiled a bit and Severus pursed his lips but said nothing, Elías biting his lower lip before the melodic tones of a foreign, probably future song began to play and Elías lathered his quite-grown beard with foam, sighing a bit. He looked a thousand times better already. “This is nice, which one is it?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed quietly, voice so subdued compared to his usual boisterous tone whenever he spoke of music. “S’just nice.”

“It is,” Remus agreed softly. Severus still kept his silence.

The three said nothing else as Elías finally began to shave, clumps of hair falling down the drain, his hair obscuring Remus from seeing his face but after a few minutes, Elías finally finished, throwing water at his face one last time to clean himself up.

And then he stood fully, watching the mirror, hand running through his clean face. It was strange to see Elías completely shaven, not that Remus through about it, but that’s when Severus nodded.

“Better?” he asked.

“Fuck. Yes,” Elías laughed a bit sadly, fingers running through his dirty hair. “I’m - I’m so sorry for what I said, how I acted, I -”

“It’s fine,” Remus began but Severus shook his head.

“You need to understand when you’re falling into an episode - be it depressive or hypomania. It’s key to the way these affect you.”

“I’m really bad at seeing them until they’re almost gone,” Elías confessed quietly.

“Then we’ll help,” Severus said firmly, startling both Remus and Elías - the former because he didn’t think that after what he’d said in the hallway, Severus would want to invite Remus to  _ anything _ . But he was proving Remus wrong, again, by thinking of Elías first and his own wants second. It made Remus realize just how much Severus had changed from their high school days. From his time of friendship with Lily. 

“I wouldn’t want to burden you both with that,” Elías whispered, looking away, uncomfortable with the need to be aided. 

“It’s not a burden,” Remus told Elías, giving him a small smile. “We’re offering, Elías. Truly. We  _ want _ to help you.”

“Feels like asking for too much,” the Spaniard confessed.

“It’s not,” Remus insisted, moving forward, his fingers finding Elías’ hair, brushing it back kindly, watching his sad, blue eyes. “You’re not a burden. And it’s not too much to ask for help when you’re down, Elías. It’s friendship. It’s a two-way street.”

“You’ve helped us plenty,” Severus said dryly, giving Remus a small glare before turning his softer gaze to the Astronomy professor. “So now we return the favor.”

“That’s a lie, I haven’t helped  _ you _ much,” Elías told Severus, frowning. “In fact, you’re the one teaching and testing me in potions, cooking for me, helping me work with parents that are difficult to reach -”

“You’ve cooked for me, helped me understand things I wouldn’t otherwise, you’ve brought me lunch much in the same way that I’ve brought you dinner,” Severus paused, then, scowling a bit. “And as much as I hate to admit this… you’re teaching me to be a better professor.”

Remus almost laughed at the discontent on his face but Elías seemed moved, his face changing into a picture of tenderness, hand over his chest. “Sev? Have you truly taken my advice?” he asked, voice a bit choked.

“Yes,” Severus sighed deeply, rolling his eyes. “I have.”

“ _ Sev _ ,” Elías whined, moving towards the potioneer with a sniffle, hugging him tightly and Severus tensed, eyes flickering to Remus before just deeply glaring at him and glancing away, returning the gentle embrace. Remus looked away just to be polite. “Sev, you’re gonna make me  _ cry _ .”

“You’re already crying, you fool.”

“Because you’re so much  _ sweeter _ than I anticipate and every time you say things like that, it hits so hard!” he sobbed quietly, arms around him, face against his chest. Remus tried hard not to smile but he couldn’t help it, chuckling quietly. “You’re great.”

“Do not flatter me -”

“Shut up, you’re great, I’m depressed, let me live.”

Severus sighed deeply and audibly, gently rubbing Elías’ back before pulling away, seeing Elías brush away his tears and straighten up a bit, hand over his chin.

“I felt like I was holding sadness there,” he murmured, looking at the two men. “Uh… I don’t have much energy. I would offer to cook you both something but -”

“We can just go to the Great Hall,” Severus replied, rolling his eyes.

“Or the Three Broomsticks,” Remus told them, smiling at both. “It’ll do you good, anyway. Go out, have some fresh air.”

“I actually agree,” Severus sighed. “Let’s go to Hogsmeade.”

“Alright. Let me shower and we can leave,” Elías murmured, pushing some of his hair behind his ear and moving to his bedroom, leaving Severus and Remus alone once again.

Remus looked over at Severus, thinking deeply, wishing that Sirius could see this side of the man - the gentle, patient and caring part. Remus had long ago changed his mind about Severus but he was afraid of the ramifications of Sirius being free to walk up to the potioneer and being a dick again. Or worse - being a dick again  _ in front of Elías _ .

“Thank you,” Remus told him, because he felt a deep need to.

“I didn’t do it for you,” Severus sneered.

“I know. And that’s why I’m thanking you,” Remus replied, eyes a bit sad. “I know - I know I’ve never been a good example of a proper man. I’m a coward and I admit it, openly. And I know I did you wrong, we all did. But if you get something from me today, is that I am very glad that Elías has a friend like you. And I’m very glad that you’re allowing yourself to be changed by him in return for his friendship. You and I… we’ve had our differences. And I understand that an apology won’t cut it. But I  _ am _ sorry for what I did to you in past years, Severus. And I  _ am _ sorry that I haven’t properly shown you the change expected of me in these past months. I can… I can only hope that I can still grow and change and become better. And… that’s all, really.”

“Just don’t hurt him again,” Severus whispered, making Remus’ throat close. “You don’t deserve someone like him, someone so forgiving, so willing to look at your good side. Someone who doesn’t know the extent of what you did to me. Don’t you  _ ever _ hurt him again.”

“I will try my hardest not to,” Remus murmured, a promise that he meant with all his heart.

* * *

Saturday slithered down the snow - painful on Elías’ skin, scraping against his insides but he managed to get through it with Remus and Severus’ help, the two keeping him busy, keeping him doing things, moving, walking, hauling cauldrons with Severus in the dungeons. So when sunset began to approach, it found them both working on a Sleeping Draught.

It was better to work on potions. Cooking, baking, brewing - this was relaxing for Elías, something he could fully focus on and let himself loose with. And it helped that this time, instead of making the potion by himself, Severus was beside him.

The potion was coming along nicely, already turning a deep blue hue like the night sky as Elías minced the Valerian sprigs with quick wrist work on his knife and Severus stirred in the powdered moonstone, glancing at the silver cauldron. He lowered the fire, reaching over Elías’ shoulder to grab the wormwood, Elías quickly reaching up for a moment to brush a dead leaf from it, the two eying each other. That was a disaster avoided.

“Good,” Severus told him, slowly crushing the wood in his hands, the cracking noise followed by a wheeze under the spell Severus cast, non-verbal, making Elías blink. He’d done it without his wand, too. 

“The Valerian is ready,” Elías told him, cleaning the knife and Severus eyed the minced sprigs and nodded, grasping the cutting board Elías has used and taking the knife from his hand, dropping them into the cauldron. “Oh, shouldn’t the fire be -”

“Let them stew,” Severus replied. “We get a more intense concoction. What we need is a deep sleep - no dreams, no nightmares, just sleep. Valerian has to stew.”

“Okay,” Elías replied quietly, looking at the bubbling, thin mixture with curiosity. He’d never seen a Sleeping Draught with that shade but he trusted Severus, of all people, to know what he was doing. It’d always been one of his favorite potions to look at - back in Second Year, he’d found himself brewing it just for fun, putting it into his prettiest phial and watching the potion under the moonlight. 

“It should be done in fifteen minutes,” Severus hummed, starting to wave his wand to clean everything up, Elías watching it all move through the air. He was still tired but he didn’t feel that deep exhaustion in his bones and the need to hide in bed all day. That - well, that was thanks to Remus and Severus. Gods, he had to apologize to Remus later. “And then we can go for dinner.”

“Oh,” Elías murmured. “I… I don’t have anything prepared, I -”

Severus lifted a hand, shaking his head, “We’re not going to your place tonight. If you’d like, Elías - Narcissa has invited me over for dinner with Sienna and Corban.”

“Sienna and Corban,” Elías said slowly, swallowing. “You mean Blaise’s mother. And Yaxley.”

“Yes,” Severus nodded. “Narcissa has been trying to get me to convince you to come. She quite enjoyed you and her time with you in her gardens.”

“I… am pretty low energy tonight, Severus,” Elías said softly. “I’m a bit scared of…”

“Being taken advantage of?” Severus asked, making him wince and nod. “It’s alright. I understand. There’s a fear factor and I don’t want you to go if you’re unprepared or hesitant.”

“Thanks,” Elías murmured before pausing. “Is the dinner big?”

“No,” Severus admitted, shrugging as he gripped the sides of the big cauldron and pulled it off the fire, making Elías’ mouth go dry. Fucking  _ hell _ , that was - he was strong. “It’s just a small little get-together. I wouldn’t have asked you if it was something bigger.”

“Oh,” Elías murmured.

“Sienna is pregnant,” Severus explained, exhaling deeply as he set the potion on the cauldron spot in front of his desk, making Elías blink. “It’s a celebration. The fourth child in the Zabini’s.”

“Oh,  _ wow _ ,” Elías breathed. “That’s - that’s  _ great _ .”

“It is,” Severus hummed, looking over the potion before finally dropping the rest of the lavender into the mixture, leaning back on his desk. “It’s a time to celebrate.”

“It sure is,” Elías smiled a bit, feeling a bit optimistic. “I’m happy or your friends.”

“So am I,” Severus said quietly, and Elías knew he meant it. 

“So Blaise had two other siblings?” Elías asked, smiling. “I haven’t seen them here.”

“One is in Altavista,” Severus explained, making Elías smile. “Allen. He’s a year younger than Blaise. And then there’s Alessandro, who’s begun in Settima Città, back in Italy.”

“Oh!” Elías’ eyes widened. “So they’re all in different schools?”

“Mhmm,” Severus nodded. “Sienna is smart. Smarter than all of us.”

“Smarter than Narcissa?” Elías asked, smirking.

“You’d be surprised,” Severus said dryly, making Elías laugh a bit, already feeling lighter. “She’s the most astute. But also the sweetest. She loves her children very much.”

“Why send them to different schools?” Elías asked curiously.

“To not make the same mistake her family did,” Severus told him, making Elías frown. “She doesn’t want an echo chamber.”

“Oh,” Elías breathed, surprised.

“The Zabinis…” Severus sighed. “They were deeply involved with Grindelwald.”

“Ah, I see,” Elías murmured. “And she and her siblings -”

“She’s the only one alive of them.”

“Oh.”

“Mhmm.”

“Well, good for her, to want to… break that,” Elías sighed.

“Too bad her husband at the time was one of us Deatheaters,” Severus told Elías, eyebrows raised and Elías understood, wincing. “In any case - she is happy now with Giorgio. And we’re all very glad for her pregnancy.”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, sighing a bit. “I’d - I’d go for dinner.”

“You would?”

“Not tonight but - another time.”

“I see.”

“I want to meet your friends,” Elías told Severus and Severus paused, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Not on their terms. But  _ mine _ . I want to be their friend, not another one of the group. Do you understand?”

“Perfectly.”

“Good - then good,” Elías breathed in, sighing again. “So - no dinner with me tonight?”

“I’m afraid not,” Severus replied. “I’m sure Lupin can entertain you.”

“You two fought this morning, didn’t you?”

Severus didn’t reply, eyes on the potion and Elías knew already what the answer was, moving to sit on Severus’ desk before rubbing his face hard.

“Was it about me?” he asked quietly.

“Partly,” Severus admitted. “But most of it about the past.”

“I see,” Elías breathed, feeling much better about it. “Did… it end alright?”

“To me, it did,” Severus snorted.

“ _ Sev _ .”

“He apologized properly to me,” Severus told Elías, finally meeting his eyes. “The most honest apology he or his little group of friends ever gave me. And I don’t know how to process it, because I don’t forgive him. And I don’t want to forgive him.”

“You’re in your right,” Elías admitted.

“I know,” Severus finally began to wave his wand to beckon phials of glass over to him, filling each one with the contents of the cauldron. “And I told him as much.”

“Not everything can be forgiven, and I get that,” Elías said quietly. “But is it worth it, Sev? To - to always have that thorn on your side? I - I don’t care about how Remus feels about what he did to you. I’m talking about how  _ you _ feel.”

“I don’t know how I feel,” Severus scowled, corking the last bottle before turning to Elías. “They tormented me for  _ years _ , Elías. And now he - he just apologizes and expects it to be fine!”

“It’s all about closure,” Elías murmured. “Sometimes - sometimes there’s none but - if you can find it, that might be good for you.”

“I don’t  _ know _ ,” Severus said hastily, hands moving to the edge of his desk, eyes closing, looking affected by it all, making Elías frown with worry. “I… I don’t  _ know _ .”

Gently, Elías reached over, brushing some hair out of Severus’ face, the man flinching at first but then relaxing deeply, his shoulders sinking a bit. Elías turned, leaning into Severus, and he responded, “There’s no rush with this, Severus. And it’s  _ your _ feelings. If you ever accept his apology, do it when it’s right. When it  _ feels _ right.”

Severus nodded and Elías gave a small smiled, arms moving around Severus’ elbow, hugging his arm, smiling.

“You’ll be alright, Sev.”

“Perhaps,” he murmured, standing, eyes opening to look over at Elías. 

"Perhaps?" Elías asked, frowning.

Severus hummed, hand moving to Elías' face, smoothing his brow before whispering, " _Quizás_."


	44. Musically Inclined to Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter made for me and just for me because there are some instruments that truly need some love. This is the equivalent of the musical episode in a show and I will not apologize for it. You've been warned.
> 
> Songs in the chapter:  
> \- Come Out and Play by Billie Eillish  
> \- Iron Horse by Mean Mary (On Fast Banjo!)
> 
> Trigger Warning:  
> \- Discussion of bullying

“I have to admit,” Elías began as he finished his last spoonful of risotto, leaning back on his old, too-soft couch, putting the plate on his coffee table. “That was really good. A bit too thin, I like a thicker risotto - but it was good.”

“Not all of us can be savvy in the kitchen, Elías,” Remus laughed, having finished his plate a bit faster, comfortable as he laid his side against the back of the couch. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Elías confessed quietly, rubbing his face with a sigh. “But a bit better, I’ll admit - well,  _ much _ better than this morning. And noon.”

“Scared me a bit,” Remus told him and Elías felt his stomach drop a bit. “Not - listen, Elías, if you ever feel bad -”

“No, no, it’s -” the man groaned, eyes closing, heels of his hands against them. “Gods, it’s just so stupid, sometimes. I can’t believe I didn’t see it, I - I said some nasty things to you.”

“I get it,” Remus assured, hand moving to pull Elías’ hands away from his face, leaning down to make sure Elías saw him smile, only succeeding in making Elías’ stomach burst into butterflies. His smile was so nice. “Don’t apologize. Remember what Severus said.”

“I know,” Elías sighed, dropping his head on Remus’ shoulder, feeling the werewolf’s hand rubbing his back. The sound of the ocean, at the very least, was relaxing enough that Elías didn’t feel on edge. “Still. I’m sorry about those nasty things I said.”

“I forgive you,” Remus told him. “And hey - now I know how to react when you get like this, right? I’m not Severus Snape but I think I can be authoritative when I want.”

Elías snorted, “Right.”

“Hey -  _ hey _ ! I can be scary!” Remus told him with a laugh and Elías shook his head, grinning. “Elías, don’t make  _ fun _ of me!”

“I’m not! I’m not, I just - you’re a little dumpling of love,” Elías pulled back, hands moving to press against the sides of Remus’ face, making him groan. “I mean, you can be an asshole, but I expect it. You’re a Gryffindor, after all.”

“Not all Gryffindors are assholes,” Remus mumbled through the tightness of his face.

“Name one,” Elías told him, deadpan.

Remus hesitated.

Elías laughed, leaning back on the couch, shaking his head. “Oh, man, that’s priceless.”

“Do you truly dislike us that much?” Remus chuckled, not seeming too bothered.

“Well, Gryffindors bullied me the most in Hogwarts? So  _ yeah _ ,” Elías rolled his eyes, making Remus frown a bit at his words. “Talking about bullying Gryffindors -”

“Oh, here it comes,” Remus breathed, bracing himself.

“You and Severus had a fight,” Elías stated and Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, nodding. “Sev wasn’t very useful. He did say, though, that you gave him an apology. A  _ proper _ apology. Which - did you not apologize properly before?”

“I -” Remus winced. “I think you’ve made me be better about apologies.”

Elías felt dread sinking into his stomach and he began to frown, smile dropping, watching Remus as the man guiltily watched his hands.

“Remus,” Elías began slowly. “When did you apologize? And  _ how _ did you apologize?”

“I apologized… I believe after my interview my Dumbledore?” Remus confessed. “I ran into Severus and…”

“And?” Elías prompted, eyes hard.

“And…” Remus groaned. “Merlin, it was a shitty apology, alright? I know - I know now and I’ve properly apologized and -”

“You told me that -”

“I told him to let bygones be bygones,” Remus finally said and Elías felt his eyes go wide and his jaw drop. “I know -”

Elías’ hand came up to his head, slapping the back of it hard in a move that would’ve made his grandmother proud and Remus’ head fell to his chest from the force, groaning. But Elías did it again - and again and again, Remus trying to stop his hands.

“You fucking  _ degenerate _ !” Elías barked at him. “Let  _ bygones be bygones?! _ You didn't even say  _ sorry _ ?!”

“I knew he would’ve - I mean, I wasn’t -” Remus tried but Elías stood, laughing incredulously, shaking his head. “I know  _ now _ that it was stupid!”

“Stupid?! No, no, this is a  _ new _ kind of audacity, Lupin!” Elías told him as the werewolf stood but Elías couldn’t even look at him, he was  _ furious _ . “Gods,  _ Gods _ , I can’t believe I defended you from Severus. No fucking  _ wonder _ he can’t stand you. You called him names and made fun of his appearance for  _ years _ , developmental teenage  _ years _ , and you say  _ let bygones be bygones _ ?”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said awkwardly.

“No, no, you shouldn’t be saying  _ that _ to  _ me _ ,” Elías laughed, head shaking. “Fuck.  _ Fuck _ . Like, I get that you’ve changed and you wouldn’t do that again but  _ fuck _ , Remus.”

“I know,” the man replied, hand running through his hair, sighing. “I respect Severus, I do. And I understand now that not only is the past not as - as erasable and easy to get over as I thought it was. I’m really trying to get better, Elías, I - I gave him a proper apology and I’m not going to expect him to forgive me at all.”

“That’s good, because he shouldn’t be expected to do it for  _ you _ ,” Elías told him, turning to look at Remus with a bit of hurt on his face. “Forgiveness is for yourself, never for the other person. It’s so you can get closure, so you can move on. Nobody’s entitled for forgiveness from the person they’ve hurt. And now I can say for sure that I am very,  _ very _ disappointed in you, Remus.”

The man looked like he’d been punched, looking away but Elías felt no pity.

“I’m not saying that everything Severus had done is all fine and dandy, because it really isn’t. He’s still to blame for actions that have hurt others and I  _ stand by that _ . But I don’t care how mean, how ugly or how Slytherin he was, Remus, you four  _ bullied him _ .”

“I know,” Remus rubbed the back of his neck. “I regret that. I deeply regret how I acted, what I allowed to happen and what… what I did and how I justified it. Even just a month ago.”

“Good, that’s a step forward,” Elías sighed, sitting down on his kitchen stool, eyes closing, rubbing his temple. “Gods, and let’s not talk about Sirius.”

“Please,” Remus grunted, already knowing where this was going. “Not tonight.”

“But soon,” Elías replied. “When - when it’s all sorted out and shit is done and Harry is safe and so is Sirius? With Pettigrew behind bars?  _ Then _ we’ll get Sirius to therapy and hopefully, he’ll understand his wrongdoings - and the things that were out of his control. Sirius needs to  _ go - to - therapy _ .”

“I agree,” Remus said softly, moving towards the kitchen island and resting his elbows on the counter. “I… really agree.”

“Seriously,” Elías laughed, eyes wide, shaking his head. “ _ Fuck _ .”

“I know.”

“Like,  _ fuck _ , Remus. There’s so much to unpack -”

“It’s a lot that happened.”

“Has he even  _ mourned _ properly? How do you mourn in Azkaban?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t even mourn properly.”

Elías said nothing, watching Remus, still feeling conflicted from the reveal of his apology to Severus. It was all so fucking complicated and Elías wanted nothing but to get it all in place, let it all end - Pettigrew in jail and Sirius free and everyone going to therapy and getting along. He knew it was highly unlikeable. In fact, he knew that if Severus had a hard time forgiving Remus, he’d have no mercy for Sirius. And Elías felt a bit of the same, if Sirius wasn’t willing to change and see the error of his past actions.

He was sure that Sirius was past it, though. Nicknames and monikers aside, he felt like Sirius, if he was a good man, would realize just how badly the damage he’d done in his youth affected Severus. And probably others. All Elías wanted was for people to move on from all this pain held inside their lungs, it felt like everywhere he looked, everyone had  _ bad blood _ .

“Can you at the very least,” Elías began slowly. “Can you  _ promise me _ that you won’t be an enabler anymore?”

“I can promise that,” Remus nodded, eyes serious, and Elías reached over and ruffled his hair a bit, if only to take away the tension in the room. “You worry too much.”

“I worry enough,” Elías replied, frowning.

“I mean,” Remus responded, voice soft. “You worry too much about things that are out of your expertise and control, Elías. This has very little to do with you.”

“But you guys are my friends,” Elías murmured. “I can’t - I can’t help it. I want you all to stop hurting over something that happened twenty years ago. I want you all to live your lives fully.”

“Are you over the things that happened in Hogwarts?” Remus questioned.

“I’m twenty two years old, Remus, what happened in Hogwarts happened eight years ago, not twenty,” Elías began, swallowing. “And none of you got r -”

“Right,” Remus cut in, breathing out slowly. “I meant - the bullying.”

“Mine was a bit more extensive,” Elías murmured, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, like,  _ so  _ extensive. There wasn’t a day I wasn’t looking over my shoulder, Remus. And I had  _ no friends _ . Severus had his little group, at the very least. I had  _ no one _ .”

Remus pursed his lips, eyes on the counter, not saying anything and Elías sighed again, dropping his face over his crossed arms on the kitchen island. 

“This is a tough one, huh?” Remus tried to laugh a bit, looking sad. 

“Severus is valid for not wanting to forgive any of you,” Elías said quietly, staring out the window to the pool, his eyes half-lidded. “He’s in his right. But he also needs to understand that he wasn’t an innocent party - he used purist slurs against Lily, he joined the Deatheaters, he constantly insults James Potter in front of Harry and he has bullied his students for the  _ longest time _ .”

“He’s not free of guilt,” Remus nodded. “But neither are we. Sirius and I.”

“Exactly,” Elías murmured, eyes closing. “Gods. I hate this. The reality of these shades of grey. Things would be so much better if I was like Dumbledore - Gryffindor is good guys, Slytherin is bad guys and the rest can go to the other House or Houses, fuck if he knows Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff exists.”

Remus laughed a bit, making Elías smile and shake his head.

“It’s also - also not your job to help us, Elías,” Remus told him and Elías shrugged.

“I know,” he murmured. “But I do want to, Remus, I… I’m tired of watching scenes go by. I’m tired of watching the train pass by, you know?”

“Watch the train pass by?” Remus asked, frowning.

“My Sights… my Seerness?” Elías laughed a bit, watching his hands, seeing them shake a little. “I… I’ve had these as long as I can remember. The big ones began later but - but I always saw so many glimpses of other people’s futures, pasts… I saw this… this hopeful outlook to a lot of them. If only someone did  _ anything _ .”

Remus was quiet for a moment, watching Elías, looking through his features before he reached over, touching his shaking fingers and gently entwining them with his.

“There’s a train passing by,” Elías told Remus quietly. “I see it, Remus. I see it every time I have a Sight. And even when I don’t. People… people never  _ do _ anything. And a lot of times I’ll have this Sight where I -”

Elías paused, using his free hand to cover his mouth for a moment, cover the ugly sob trying to be ripped from his lungs, shutting his eyes hard.

“Where I can’t do  _ anything _ , Remus. Sights of the past. Or Sights of things that are currently happening. I… I have been  _ watching _ for so long. I’ve been watching that train pass by for so fucking long, with no one to take it…” he breathed in sharply, feeling Remus move closer so he could throw an arm around Elías’ shoulders. “I’m tired,” he whispered. “I’m tired of not taking that train. I’m tired of not doing anything. So whenever I  _ can _ do something… I  _ will _ .”

“That’s a very noble principle to have,” Remus told him quietly.

“It’s not noble,” Elías murmured, eyes closing as he rested his head against his chest, Remus’ touch grounding him to the Earth. “I’ve seen so much death, Remus. I’ve seen  _ so much _ . I’m tired of it. So I’m going to do anything that needs to be done, because otherwise nobody else will.”

“It’s understandable,” Remus whispered to him.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Elías confessed quietly. “I want to say that it turns out alright. That Harry and Sirius can be a family once again. That Severus will one day move on and be at peace. That one day you’ll stop pushing everything that ever made you happy away. I want to have faith, to have… hope. But I can’t see  _ anything _ of use.”

“It’s not something you can control, Elías,” Remus sighed.

“I wish I could -”

“But you can’t,” Remus cut in gently, fingers running through Elías’ loose hair. “All you can do is - well, what you’ve been doing. Helping those kids like Theodore, like Harry, like Hermione and Luna and Draco. You’ve been steadily helping the people around you, wanting to change things because you genuinely want them to be better. It’s - I’ll admit, I’m a bit worried about this complex of yours of helping everyone -”

“I’ve  _ Seen them _ -”

“You’re trying to help everyone,” Remus repeated, firmly. “And it’s bound to stretch you thin, Eli. Just -”

“Did you just call me Eli?” Elías asked, surprised.

“I - yes?” Remus blinked as Elías pulled away. “Do you not like that?”

“No, it’s just - only pa calls me Eli,” the Spaniard replied, giving a small smile. “S’nice, though. You… you can call me Eli.”

“Alright,” Remus ran his eyes over Elías’ face and gave a small smile back, still looking a bit serious. “But deflecting won’t get you out of this conversation.”

“I don’t know what -”

“You’re burning out, Elías,” Remus told him firmly and Elías sighed. “Do take some time to yourself. And don’t think that you’ve to save everyone around you. They’ve to make the effort, too, you know?  _ I _ have to make the effort without you always guiding me. Because it’s not fair to you. I don’t like… I don’t enjoy using you for my development as a person. It feels really bad when you keep giving and giving and giving and I can never repay you -”

“I don’t want you to  _ repay me _ -”

“Then let me do a thing or two for you,” Remus told him, a bit passionately, frowning at Elías, leaving him wordless. “Let Severus and I take care of you, for once. Like this morning. At lunch and in the afternoon.”

“It feels unbalanced,” Elías croaked, chest hurting from the confrontation.

“That’s because you’ve got a shitty chronic hero perspective,” Remus told him, hand moving to pinch Elías’ nose, making him whine until Remus finally released him. “You have to stop sometimes, Elías. And let yourself think about your own mental health.”

“That’s the hard part,” he mumbled.

“Practice, then,” Remus told him, reached over to kiss his forehead and Elías sighed, shoulder dropping. “Like this Easter. You told me that you weren’t sure if you were going to Cartagena to see your family. You  _ love _ your family. Why wouldn’t you go?”

“I -” Elías paused, realizing that he’d been worried about the people around him.

“Go,” Remus said, hands on his shoulders, shaking them a bit, giving him a small smile. “Go see your parents. And your sister. And all your cousins. Speak Spanish over English for a while. Enjoy some homecooked meals. Get annoyed at everyone in your family, in a house too small for all of you. Enjoy all the wonderful things that you’ve told me about them.”

Elías swallowed, feeling longing in his heart, missing all of his family already. Especially his father, at that moment. His pa would talk to him, give him some advice about everything going on. But his parents would also worry too much. His sister would go ballistic if she knew what was going on behind the scenes, with Elías trying to befriend a bunch of ex Deatheaters. 

But his father alone - he’d understand. And help.

“I miss them,” Elías breathed. “I miss them very much.”

“I know,” Remus replied, smiling at him. “So go see them in Easter.”

“I will,” Elías replied, making Remus nod. “Will you take care of the k -”

“I’ll oversee the children with Severus,” Remus promised. “And try not to get into anymore fights with him, too, alright? Though I promise nothing.”

Elías laughed a bit, “Take care of Sirius, too, yeah? I don’t want him to run off and do something stupid, as he’s bound to do.”

“Alright,” Remus nodded, giving him a small smile, a sad one. “I do regret it, Elías. I regret a lot, a  _ lot _ of things. And one of them is the way we treated Severus. I want to say I’m not that person anymore but that’s… that’s distancing myself from what I did. And that’s not what I want. I know I’ve a lot left to do, a lot of growth to take on. But I’m willing to learn and - and move on, as you said. Even if Severus never forgives me, I understand.”

Elías felt relief and he let out a deep breath, head resting against Remus’ shoulder, slowly hugging him, eyes closing. “Thank you for that,” he whispered. “Thank you.  _ Thank you _ .”

“Don’t thank me,” Remus laughed, hugging him just as tight. “You… you make me want to be a better person, Elías. And I think Severus feels the same way.”

“I don’t know how I -” Elías swallowed. “I don’t know. I just see a lot of good in you both. So much… wasted potential, you know?”

“I don’t see it. But that’s why I’m me and you’re you,” Remus murmured. “I’ve always been a pessimist. And you’re so positive - sometimes in a delusional way, I admit. But… maybe it’s a bit of what we all need lately.”

Elías said nothing, eyes closing, letting himself be embraced and comforted, the weight in his chest lifting only a little. The exhaustion he felt wasn’t in his bones anymore but in his muscles, thanks to all the work Severus had put him through in the afternoon and Elías suddenly remembered where Severus was - back at the Malfoy Manor with his friends. With a newly pregnant Zabini matron, with his friend Yaxley who had lost his wife, with Lucius and Narcissa, who worried endlessly about their son, and Elías felt a bit of sadness.

Those people didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. They were still stuck inside a purist cult of sorts but Elías knew now that all of them regretted so. He wondered what it was like, to be expecting a child in a world that could shift and change and go back to torturous in just a year or two. Elías thought of Blaise, always so distrustful, so cunning, so acute to catch changes and new people trying to get into his good graces. But also the first of the group of Slytherins to make a muggleborn friend - and not just a muggleborn friend but  _ Hermione Granger. _

“You’re thinking hard. I can hear the cogs,” Remus interrupted his train of thought and Elías laughed a bit, sighing. “What’s in your mind?”

“Just - Slytherins. And Gryffindors. And the House system and how it was supposed to bring the best in everyone but instead… only managed to separate and discriminate.”

Remus said nothing and Elías pulled back, yawning, rubbing his eye and Remus frowned a bit. “I think about it, sometimes, too,” he told Elías quietly. “How… we always talk about Slytherin as a cult yet we forget that they’re  _ kids _ .”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded. “Pretty much.”

“You look so tired, I’m sorry, I can’t focus when you’re making that face,” Remus chuckled and Elías punched him lightly in the arm. “It’s still early, can’t go to bed. Those were Severus’ instructions.”

“I know,” Elías whined. “But I’m  _ so tired _ .”

“Why don’t you play something?” Remus suggested, nudging him, making Elías actually perk up. “Yes? See? Music always lifts you up. Give me a song you want to play.”

“Gods, there’s so many I’ve heard this week,” Elías laughed, rubbing his face with a small smile. “There are some  _ really good ones _ that I’ve heard.”

“Show me one, then,” Remus urged, helping Elías stand, his fingers curling around Elías’ and pulling him over to the living room, where most of his instruments stood in a small corner. “What do you want to play?”

“Guitar,” Elías said softly, immediately reaching for his first acoustic, an old beat-up, black guitar that he’d loved for many years. His father had passed it down to him. “I - I think I’ve got a song I want to show you.”

“If it keeps you awake, go for it,” Remus replied, sitting down on the coffee table as Elías sat down on the couch, playing a few strings before he quickly grabbed the capo and put it on the first - no, second fret, nodding to himself. Better. 

“I - you have to listen to it,” Elías told Remus.

“I always do,” he replied, elbows on his knees, watching him expectantly. “You look… nervous.”

“It’s a good song,” Elías mumbled, sighing. “And - I don’t know, I - I thought of you? Immediately?”

“Oh,” Remus flushed a bit, making Elías’ shoulders raise, hunching over a bit over his guitar, blushing as well.

“It’s not - it’s not  _ romantic _ , I’m not that kind of pushy asshole,” he quickly told Remus, who nodded, cheeks still rosy. “It just - it’s - ah, just - listen to it, yeah?” he cleared his throat, getting a feel for the tone of the song, nodding to himself. “Listen… and uh, my voice isn’t as nice as the singer’s but - yeah.”

“Alright,” Remus said quietly and Elías took in a deep breath, eyes closing.

Elías began to play, fingers moving into the familiar C chord, his right fingers plucking the strings so very softly, letting a drum as gentle as a heartbeat mark the raspy humming he let out at first, “ _ hmmm _ …”

Remus leaned in a bit, watching him but Elías tried not to focus on him at first, nervous as he was. He didn’t want to fuck up the song.

“ _ Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty? _ ” Elías sang, letting his voice be almost a whisper. “ _ When we talk, you say it softly but I love it when you’re offly qui-et… _ ”

Elías met Remus’ green eyes, giving him a small smile and the tender look he received as a balm on all the things that had happened today. Despite it all, they were still friends. And Elías wanted him to hear these words coming from  _ him _ , because Elías meant them.

“ _ Hmmm… hmmm… quiet... _ ” 

The percussion became a bit more evident and Remus let out a soft breath, almost a sigh, moving to sit on the other end of the couch, Elías adjusting only a bit, his knee brushing Remus’.

“ _ You see a piece of paper. Could be - a little greater. Show me what you could make her -” _ his eyes met Remus’ again. “ _ You’ll never know until you try it… _ ”

Remus’ breath hitched for real this time and Elías gave him a soft, sad little smile, percussion roaming around them both, along with voices chorusing in the back. 

“ _ Hmmm… hmmm… you don’t have to keep it qui-et… _ ”

The piano came in, then, along with more bass, so very quiet, Elías focusing on every piece and every part of the melody while also letting it all flow through him, magic spilling from his every pore. He wanted Remus to hear it.

“ _ And I know it makes you nervous, _ ” he sang to the other professor with a small smile. “ _ But I promise you it’s worth it… to show them everything you’ve kept inside… _ ”

The instruments slowed to a stop except for the piano, Elías’ fingers stopping on the guitar, watching his dear friend, cheek resting against the mast of his instrument.

“ _ Don’t hiiiide… _ ” he begged quietly. “ _ Don’t hide _ …”

He let the song stop for a moment, just watching Remus, his caught look, the shine of his eyes and Elías reached over for his hand, gently taking it, squeezing his fingers.

“ _ Too shy to say but I hope you stay, _ ” he sang, piano around his words. “ _ Don’t hide… away… _ ”

“Eli -” Remus breathed.

“ _ Come out and play _ .”

The rest of the instruments flooded in, Elías’ fingers on his guitar again, lights going out except for the lone lamp by the TV, casting Remus and Elías in a soft, warm glow and Elías let the melodic instruments of the song surround them both, Remus’ chest stuttering as he watched Elías, looking on the verge of something.

“ _ Look up, out of your window _ ,” Elías kept singing as everything built up around them. “ _ See snow, won't let it in though. Leave home and feel the wind blow, ‘cause it's colder here inside in silence. _ ” 

Louder, a bit louder, overwhelming the sound of the sea crashing to the shore outside - Elías made his own ocean, added it to the song, let it spill from the windows, wave after wave, eyes still on Remus.

“ _ You don't have to keep it quiet _ -” he kept singing, voices behind his. “ _ And I know it makes you nervous but I promise you it’s worth it _ ,” he laughed a bit as Remus furiously rubbed at his eyes, a little choked up as well.  _ “To show them everything you’ve kept inside… _ ”

“Merlin,” Remus whispered, laughing a bit, Elías chuckling into the mast, feeling like crying a little bit himself, too.

“ _ Don’t - _ ” Elías laughed, shaking his head, smiling at him. “ _ Don’t hiiide… don’t hiiide… _ ”

The piano was last to fade, leaving only the guitar Elías played.

“ _ Too shy to say but I hope you stay _ ,” he sang to Remus. “ _ Don’t hide… away. Come out and play _ .”

The last bit of strings finished, Elías’ hands relaxing on his guitar, sighing deeply as Remus shook his head a bit, sighing as well.

“Did you like it?” Elías asked gently.

“Are you joking?” Remus laughed, incredulous. “You… this song made you think of me?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, smiling, arms over the body of his guitar, chin resting over them. “It really did. It’s fitting.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Remus murmured, rubbing his nose a bit, looking down at his socked feet. “I… I’m… I’m humbled that you think so, Eli.”

“You’re welcome,” Elías replied, because he didn’t really know what else to say.

The two of them sat down there, on the couch for a while, letting the ocean waves swallow any other sound, Elías’ eyes closing softly. He didn’t fall asleep, just… relaxed for a moment before the couch dipped a bit and he quickly looked to see Remus getting comfortable, looking at peace, at least for a little bit.

“I really liked that song,” Remus told him and Elías smiled.

“I’ve heard some from this same artist. She’s good,” he told Remus. “I only wish I knew when she starts  _ existing _ as an artist. She makes… very sad songs. But very beautiful ones, too.”

“Is there any artist from the future that you really enjoy? As in - more than any of the already existing ones?” Remus asked curiously and Elías nodded, eyes wide.

“Oh, for  _ sure _ . The tattoo I got? The  _ forgiveness _ one? I really love that band but I’ve only been privy to very few of their songs. I’ve loved  _ every _ single one of them. They’re very religious, curiously, since they’re… a band that essentially screams their lyrics.”

“Ah, sounds… delightful,” Remus said carefully and Elías laughed. “Not my type of music.”

“You don’t even have a  _ taste _ ,” Elías told him, throwing a pick at him, Remus trying to dodge with a laugh. “For real! You just  _ enjoy _ some songs. But you never listen to music.”

“I don’t know, I just -” Remus shrugged. “You’ve a good taste. One that is able to read what I will like. Why curate it when you want to play the songs you know, anyway?”

Elías paused, narrowing his eyes, “Alright. That’s a compelling argument.”

“Sirius and you are a walking radio - you moreso because you’ve got your magic music thing,” Remus wiggled his fingers at him, making Elías nod and shrug. “So why should I even try to find other music when I’ve got no idea? If I like a song, Sirius will immediately pull out seventeen other different bands that I’ll enjoy.”

“So that’s how you know songs but not their names or artists. Sirius  _ spoiled you _ ,” Elías figured out, making Remus laugh.

“I suppose so, yes.”

“Dick,” Elías giggled as Remus rolled his eyes. “Sirius ruins everything.”

“If only you knew half of it,” Remus said with a dry sigh, only making Elías laugh harder before he broke into a yawn, making Remus smile a bit. “Come on -” Remus urged, suddenly. “Play me another. A bit more upbeat.”

“Alright,” Elías replied. “Another that reminds me of you?”

“You’ve another?” Remus blinked.

“Yeah! I’ve got lots of songs that remind me of you, Theo, Harry, Sirius, Sev…” Elías shrugged. “I’ve got lots of songs in my head, Remus. Just tell me which to play.”

“Alright, um - what about other instruments?” Remus asked, now curious. 

“Other instruments?” Elías was surprised. “You want me to play piano or bass or -”

“One that I haven’t seen you play yet?” Remus begged, eyes widening and Elías hesitated a bit, biting his lower lip. “Come on. I know your best are those three but I’d like to hear others! I bet you’re not that bad.”

“I just don’t have much confidence but -” he sighed, standing, putting away his guitar, taking off the capo, walking out of the living room and into the basement. Remus waited on the couch, excited to see what he’d come out with. And of all instruments that he had thought of, Remus really hadn’t expected for Elías to sit down with a banjo on his lap, giving Remus a small grin. “Not a guitar. A bit er… different.”

“That’s a  _ banjo _ ,” Remus laughed, incredulous. “Sirius won’t believe this. He  _ loves _ the Wild West whole - thing. He used to watch cowboy movies with Lily.”

“No shit?” Elías grinned widely. “Oh man - okay, fuck, now I really want to play this for Sirius - should we go?”

“Now?” Remus’ eyes widened, looking over at the clock. “Shite, I - I mean, we  _ could _ .”

“You grab my guitar in my rooms and I’ll carry the banjo, let’s go!” Elías said abruptly with a laugh, standing, moving to the chimney and Remus struggled to catch up, laughing as well at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. Elías had a  _ banjo _ .

The trip to the Shrieking Shack was a  _ mess _ . The two of them, carrying stupidly big instruments, had to hide on two occasions from Filch and once from Fillius, who had been returning to his rooms from patrol. By the time they reached the old shack through the tunnel under the Whomping Willow, Elías was filled with excited energy - he wanted to show Sirius this song and play it with him, wanted to share his music. He hadn’t felt like that in a while.

“Sirius!” Elías called as he threw the trapdoor open.

“You’re here early!” Sirius laughed from the room.

“Sirius, Sirius! You gotta play with me!” Elías called, laughing, rushing up the stairs.

“Oh, I’ll play with you  _ anytime _ , ange -”

“I will  _ throw _ the guitar at your face,” Elías warned as he walked into the room, finding Sirius finishing the latest thermos of  _ gazpacho _ Elías had made him the other day. “Oh, you liked it?”

“Best tomato soup I’ve ever had,” the man replied, taking the guitar that Elías handed him, then grinning wildly as Elías sat at the foot of the bed. “Is that a  _ banjo _ ?!”

“Remus told me that you like country, so let’s play country,” Elías told him, face bright as Remus laughed from the doorway, walking in and sitting down at the side, watching the two of them.

“You’re joking - you’re  _ joking _ . That’s a banjo, angel, you’re  _ killing me _ ,” Sirius giggled, giddy, playing a few chords to test Elías’ guitar. “What are we playing?”

“You know Iron Horse?” Elías asked.

“By Motörhead?” Sirius blinked.

“ _ No _ . Gods, I’m an idiot, of  _ course _ you don’t know the song, it doesn’t  _ exist _ yet,” Elías groaned, slapping his forehead.

“Oh, shite, we’re playing a song from the future?” his eyes sparkled.

“Yep. Alright, so - chords. I’ll just tell you the chords,” Elías told him. “So - I think the capo is on the third fret?”

“Here we go,” Sirius nodded, adjusting the pincer, looking back at Elías. “Chords.”

“Just three - G, E minor and A minor,” he told Sirius. “It starts with only E and A.”

“Alright, first A minor?” Sirius put his fingers easily on the chords.

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded. “You’ll know when the song changes and, if not, just correct real quick. I just - I was going to play this song anyway and Remus mentioned you liked country so - yeah. I wanted to play it with you.”

Sirius paused, looking up at Elías, surprised but pleasantly so. He gave a smile at the Spaniard and reached over to clasp his arm, friendly, giving him a nod. “Thanks, angel.”

“No problem,” Elías laughed, adjusting his finger picks, making sure they were in place correctly. “Let’s just begin. One, two, three, and -”

He began with the simple plucking, the familiar melody, no other instrument coming from his magic for the moment. Remus and Sirius watched and listened, Sirius  _ delighted _ as the simple percussion slowly drifted in.

“ _ We rode the plains as lovers do, we raced beneath the summer sun _ ,” he sang, Sirius ready for his cue for when he had to play. “ _ My dusky eyes met his so blue, our soaring spirits breathed as one… _ ”

Remus leaned in, watching Elías’ picks on his fingers move along the thin strings.

“ _ We blazed our love across the sky, surrendered to its ancient force. Until the day he said goodbye and climbed aboard the Iron horse… _ ” he nodded over at Sirius and the man got ready as Elías kept singing, the first chord of the guitar right on point, as Elías had guessed Sirius would be. He enjoyed music like Elías did, after all. “ _ I heard its challenge, loud and shrill as we chased it up the Great Divide. And though my steed had the stronger will… the iron horse had the longer stride. _ ”

Sirius first gave a single strum, trying to get a hold of the song but pretty soon he found himself marking a rhythm along with Elías, foot moving, making Remus’ eyes start moving between the Slytherin and Gryffindor.

And it felt so  _ good _ to have someone play the way Elías played, too, Sirius watching Elías with a grin and Elías laughing a bit as Sirius imitated the way his banjo strung the song.

“ _Its whistle cut me like a blade, I loathed its screaming, smoky cry_ ,” Elías sang. “ _How could he leave His Indian maid? I'll ride like wind and ask him why…_ _Astride my fearless painted dun, I chose my pace and set my course. To catch this demon on the run -_ ” he saw Remus, saw the way he listened to the story that the song told, his eyes wide. “ _My steed against this iron horse…_ ”

Sirius sat up a bit, nodding at Elías and Elías understood now that Sirius had completely caught on the song, even though he’d never heard it before. He felt the connection, though, felt his own foot pressed to Sirius’ shin, the way Elías’ magic and Sirius’, if only slightly, floated in the air to let the song ring.

“ _ I heard its challenge loud and shrill _ ,” Elías sang. “ _ As it labored up the Great Divide. And though my steed had the stronger will, the iron horse had the longer stride _ .”

Again, Elías changed the way he plucked and Sirius followed him, easily so, even when Elías slowed a bit, let the castañuelas play, mark the rhythm, and Elías showed Remus the skills he had on the banjo with the solo that he plucked. Sirius played as well, in the background, letting Elías show it. The two Gryffindors watched Elías breathe in a bit, steadily and easily playing.

“ _ It roared its challenge loud and shrill _ ,” Elías stopped playing, letting Sirius be the only presence, the man smiling at him. “ _ As it labored up the Great Divide. And though I had the stronger will, the iron horse... had the longer stride… _ ”

Elías plucked a bit more and Remus grinned, leaning back, Sirius already starting to let his fingers come loose on the mast but Elías’ eyebrows raised, smirking, making Sirius quickly scramble to play the next chord, surprised that the song was still going. Remus was a bit baffled, too, but Elías kept singing and playing.

“ _ Through the thunder of its blare, I yelled my fury at the beast, _ ” Elías sang, making Remus breathe in sharply. “ _ Wasted words lost in the air as it roared its way forever east… _ ”

He looked then at Sirius, the wizard’s grey eyes on Elías’, firm, the two caught completely in the story until Elías broke out into a knowing smirk.

“ _ And the Iron Horse’s speed in- _ ” he saw Sirius’ grin suddenly turn wild. “ _ -creeeaase… _ ”

He began to play faster, faster, faster,  _ faster _ and while Sirius could only follow for a moment with single strums, by the time Elías’ fingers were gliding through the strings, he had absolutely gotten the hang of it, Remus letting out an incredulous laugh as Sirius let loose with Elías, the two playing with rapid-fire fingers for much longer than the song actually was, trying to one-up each other. But the song had to end at some point. And when it did, it was with a final strum, the two doing it together, eyes wide, already laughing, Elías’ heart beating against the back of his throat and he quickly put the banjo aside before he threw his arms around Sirius, Sirius hugging him back tightly.

“I have never,  _ never -” _

“How did you know when to stop?!”

“I just  _ felt it! _ ”

“The  _ solo _ -”

“Fuck that solo, the end part -”

“You were so  _ fast, so fast _ ! That was so -”

“ _ I _ was fast?! You were going to break a string!”

“Wow,” Elías giggled hysterically, sitting back, his cheeks hurting as Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “It’s like playing - playing with someone who  _ actually _ hears what I do.”

“Music means a lot to me,” Sirius grinned, watching Elías with different eyes.

“Yeah,” he rubbed his face, dropping back on the mattress, seeing Remus smiling wide as well. “Yeah, to me too, Sirius.”


	45. The Lake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I've got a bit to say and I'd like you all to read, if possible;
> 
> Unfortunately, due to COVID19 related issues, a relative of mine has passed away. He was someone very close to me and my cousins and illness just gripped him and did not let him go. He was an incredible man and his death has hit me pretty hard. That's the reason why I did not upload yesterday, along with a bit of burnout which I hope you guys are able to understand. This fic is a comfort of mine, first and foremost, and I think I've forgotten that a bit so if I miss a day or two or uploading, please keep in mind that this is for me, not you. Thank you for being understanding.
> 
> I still want to thank all of you who are commenting still and leaving kudos on this work. It means a lot that something so stupid and self-indulgent of mine is enjoyed by so many people, and I'm very glad to realize that I've made a couple of friends through the discord server (if you want to join us, do! https://discord.gg/fBzhrEg). 
> 
> Songs in this chapter:  
> \- Twin Cabins by Swing Lynn (Slowed, Tiktok Remix)  
> \- Above the Clouds of Pompeii by Bear's Den  
> \- Get You the Moon by kina (feat snow)  
> (Also, if you wanna be a memelord like me, you can picture the meeting in the last part of this chapter with the Let It Happen tiktok meme)
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Mentions and discussion of relative death (mother)  
> \- Mild mention of fascism

Sunday morning began with an owl slipping into Elías’ rooms, dropping a thick, official envelope from the British Ministry of Magic and the Spanish Ministry of Magic, the Spaniard looking up from where he was fiddling with his hair, the buzzed sides starting to get long enough to annoy him. He pulled it up into a quick, messy bun, though, and walked over to the owl, giving him a few seeds from a jar he’d saved for such occasions, watching him leave through the window once more and grabbed the letter.

The Spanish Ministry of Magic was mainly informing him of the legal ramifications of starting a case in England as a Spanish citizen and he read over it carefully, nodding to himself, since he was the one who had decided to put his name visibly where everyone could see it, should they look into the case, too. The second letter, the one from the British Ministry of Magic, informed him of much more; the case was underway, they had assigned Nymphadora Acrux Tonks to investigate the Dursleys and that shall someone want to file for adoption, in the case that it was indeed found that Harry was in an abusive home, they should file with Tonks. Very well. All in order.

It left him much calmer, though, to know that the machine was already working, that strings were being moved, and that Tonks, of all people, was behind it. She’d seemed a bit clumsy, a bit distracted, but she had a good heart and a good eye for kids. He dropped the opened letters on the table and walked over to his bedroom, pulling out his clippers and pondering whether to cut his hair or do a quick hair spell, eyes on the window.

Lyall Lupin had already seen him with his green hair but it was very much faded now, and dull. For some reason, Elías wanted to give him a good second impression, and he wanted Remus to feel at ease with Elías, too. They’d go into the car, drive to the lake, have a nice lunch with Lyall and hopefully… hopefully Remus would patch things up with him. Elías had been invited only because Remus needed courage, that was all. He wasn’t there to influence, to talk, to do _anything_.

So the best course of action was to not stand out much.

Once he was done fixing his hair, he pulled it to a low ponytail, getting dressed comfortably in a soft sweater and some jeans, slipping into his boots, grabbing the letters and moving on out of his rooms. He had to find Harry - since Elías had missed breakfast hours - and let him know about Tonks and how his case was moving forward, just in case he received anything threatening from the Dursleys. So he headed first for the Gryffindor Tower, receiving incredulous looks from a group of Slytherins as he climbed down the stairs.

“Professor, your hair!” one student gasped and Elías paused, smiling a bit. “What - what happened to the green?!”

“Ah, it was fading and I was getting a bit bored of it,” he replied, chuckling. “I change it a lot, don’t be surprised.”

“I think it looks _great_ ,” another student nudged her friend, glaring a bit.

“Thank you, Ina,” Elías gave her a kind smile before moving on, knowing he’d get a few stares on the way, but it was alright. He needed to find Harry and very quickly get to Remus. The two had to leave for London soon.

Thankfully, as he entered the Gryffindor Common Room through the portrait hole of Sir Cadogan (after copious calls to duel), he immediately found Harry sitting with Ron and Hermione on the couches, surrounded by the Weasleys, all of them talking about Easter until they looked up to see Elías, their faces varying shades of surprise.

“Hey,” Elías smiled at them, Hermione waving and Ginny as well. Harry grinned. “So - Mr Potter, I think you and I can agree that Tonks taking on your case are good news, yes?”

“Yes! Is she?!” he gasped, rushing to stand in front of Elías.

“Mhmm,” Elías put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, squeezing. “Things are moving along, kiddo, so - look bright! Things might just turn out alright,” he lifted Harry’s chin a bit, grinning. “Enjoy your Sunday.”

“Thanks, sir,” Harry's smile was brilliant and Elías felt something tender shift in him. He loved kids so much and Harry had a golden heart. Clearing his throat, Elías looked around at the Weasleys and Hermione and gave them all a nod before turning around and walking out of the tower, not too comfortable around all that red and gold.

Finally reaching Remus’ rooms, Elías knocked on the door, waiting patiently - though he didn’t have to wait long. Remus opened almost immediately, looking flustered and worried and like he’d barely slept, bags under his eyes and hands shaking - though he tried to hide that by gripping the door, still.

“You - your hair is long. And _brown_ ,” Remus pointed out, blinking.

“It’s _dirty blonde_ ,” Elías rolled his eyes, pushing past him. “Yes, it’s my natural hair. And I grew it out because I wanted it long. Are you ready?”

“This is _brown_ ,” Remus chuckled, closing the door, turning to Elías.

“It’s blond. I was as platinum as a Malfoy when I was a kid,” Elías told him. “England and Belgium are just depressing and my hair hasn’t seen the Spanish sun without being bleached and dyed in a while. Can we go?”

“You look like a wizard.”

Elías froze, blinking, turning to Remus with a startled look. “I’m sorry, what?” he laughed, stunned.

“It’s customary for pureblood wizards to wear their hair long - male and female,” Remus explained, walking forward and looking over at Elías’ new hairstyle. “That’s why jeweled combs are considered to be a present of high calibre. And why they’re such a common relic among pureblood families. On top of that, wizard Englishmen wear their hair in a fashion like yours right now - the low ponytail. Only, they usually get embroidered silk to tie it.”

“I didn’t know this was suddenly a lesson on wizarding culture,” Elías mumbled.

“Well, I - I know you’re… making new friends,” Remus began slowly and Elías snorted, amused, making Remus chuckle. “And they all have certain traditions that you may not know? I mean - you’re muggleborn. And I’d hate for you to feel out of the loop around people you don’t fully trust, yet.”

“So I look like a pureblood English wizard?” Elías asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, aside from your clothes? Yes,” Remus admitted, then paused. “You’ve seen Sirius’ hair.”

“Yes,” Elías frowned, touching a strand that had fallen over his face. “Though, wouldn’t he cut it short? Wanting to break away from your family, and all that?”

“He cut it short, once,” Remus told him, pursing his lips. “He hated it? I tried to talk to him about it but he got ah, a bit... aggressive and defensive. So I dropped it.”

“I see,” Elías murmured. “Are all wizards with long hair purebloods?”

“Not all,” Remus replied. “...but most.”

“Oh,” Elías mumbled. “So that’s why everyone was looking at me so weird.”

“To be honest, it’s _really_ long,” Remus told him, letting out a surprised laugh, turning Elías’ shoulder a bit to see where the tips rested - right over the small of his back. “Damn.”

“I wanted some change,” Elías flushed. “I - I didn’t know it’d -”

“It’s _nice_ -”

“I wanted it to be _inconspicuous_ ,” Elías groaned, rubbing his face and Remus laughed louder, looking much more relaxed, at least, as Elías looked at him from between his fingers. “Be honest, do I look like I’m a desperate muggleborn trying to be a fascist?”

“No,” Remus chided softly, pulling his hands away, a soft smile on his lips. “You look like Professor Fernández, muggleborn eccentric who does crazy things with his hair. That’s all.”

“That’s a relief,” Elías murmured, giving him back a little smile. “Should I - should I let it loose, at least? I wanted to look - masculine but elegant. I was - fuck, I was immitating Lucius, I’ll admit. He looks pretty suave.”

“He does,” Remus nodded, chuckling. “But he’s also a pureblood who followed a fascist.”

“Gods, I’m an idiot,” Elías breathed, pulling off the tie, his hair spilling over his shoulders and face, raking his fingers over his head to pull it back. “Better?”

He looked at Remus and paused, finding him staring. Elías for a moment thought - but _no_ . He’d been through this. It was just - it didn't mean he looked like a _woman._ “I look very different, don’t I?” Elías gave a lopsided smile. “It happens. Short vs long hair.”

“Yes,” Remus murmured, nodding jerkily, looking away. “I - we should go. It’s getting a bit late.”

“How are you feeling?” Elías asked, enjoying the feeling of his hair between his fingers, pulling it over his shoulder. “You look like you didn’t sleep much.”

“I didn’t,” Remus admitted, pursing his lips. “I… I’m really nervous, Eli, I’m not going to lie. Seeing my father again… after _so many years_ -”

“It’ll be okay,” Elías promised, hand moving to grasp Remus’, squeezing it gently. “I’ll be here. I - I think it should be a private thing between you and him but um, if you want me there? I -”

“I _need_ you there,” Remus swallowed, looking down at the floor, avoiding Elías’ gaze. “I’m sorry. I keep asking so much of you. You’ve already done enough for me. And more. And I’ve repaid you with nothing but disappointment.”

Elías sighed, his free hand moving to tilt Remus’ chin up a bit, enough so that the werewolf was watching his eyes again, giving him a small smile.

“Repay me with this, then,” Elías said quietly. “Come with me to see your father. Come and talk to him. Rebuild your relationship. Have a good day at the lake, get some closure from all these years of isolating yourself.”

Remus breathed out slowly, eyes falling shut, forehead slowly falling against Elías’, his fingers squeezing Elías’ so, so tightly before they suddenly went slack. “Merlin, I’m a coward.”

“I don’t think you’re a coward,” Elías replied. “It’s legitimate to be scared, Remus.”

“I’m a Gryffindor, aren’t I?” Remus said, frustrated. “Alright. Bloody hell, _fine_ . Let’s go. There’s - I want to see my father. I _want_ to see him. I miss him. So let’s go see him.”

Elías didn’t feel like being a Gryffindor was a good crutch to lean into when things got hard and scary but if it helped Remus, he’d take it. As the defense professor pulled away, Elías moved to his chimney, which had been activated for today to connect to Lola’s home. She was married to a wizard, so it’d been an easy process in the end, and when the two walked through the chimney into Lola’s living room at ten in the morning -

 _“TITO LILI!_ ”

“ _¡Mis Niños!_ ” Elías laughed as he stepped out after Remus, the other professor startling as three children barrelled through the living room to throw themselves at Elías, giggling and pulling and pushing him to the carpeted floor, making Elías cackle loudly. “ _¡Pero qué mayores estais! ¡Mírate, Irene! ¿Cuántos años tienes ya?”_

“ _¡Cinco!_ ” she giggled, showing five pudgy little fingers at Elías as she sat on his thigh, Antonio and Hector touching his hair and his most recent tattoo on his neck. 

“ _¡Pues yo tengo siete!_ ” Antonio stated proudly.

 _“¡Y yo tengo ocho!_ ” Hector puffed up his chest.

“ _¡Eh!_ ” a familiar voice called and the four of them looked over at the hallway, where Lola had her hands on her hips. “ _Dejadle respirar a vuestro tío Elías, ¿no? Venga, levataos._ ”

“ _Si, mamá_ ,” the three kids chorused and Elías stood, grinning, stepping forward to hug and kiss his second-cousin tight. 

“You look good,” Elías told her, in blessed English for Remus, who stood a bit awkwardly to the side. “Thank you so much for lending us the car.”

“I expect you to repair my stupid heater,” Lola spoke in a perfect British accent before turning to Remus, giving him a smile and offering her hand. “Hi! You must be Remus Lupin?”

“Ah, yes,” he nodded, shaking her hand, giving her a smile. “Thank you so much. It’s great to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she grinned and Remus realized that she had those same blue eyes. There was nothing else that seemed to tie her to Elías’ usual family traits - not the nose, not the chin, or the moles and freckles they all had. But she had those eyes from the Fernández side. 

“Now!” Elías rubbed his hands. “Show me the heater? Why didn’t John fix it?”

“He doesn’t know how to fix appliances with magic,” Lola sighed, guiding him into her kitchen and when Remus tried to follow, he felt resistance.

Looking down, he blinked at one of the kids, the smallest one, Irene, with her wild platinum curls and her bright blue eyes and freckles. Remus felt his heart melt a bit - she was so tiny and adorable.

“ _Remus es el chico ese de la historia de Roma_ ,” she told him in Spanish and Remus gave a chuckle, crouching. “ _¿Tienes un hermano que se llama Romulo?_ ”

“I’m sorry, little one,” he told her, smiling. “But I only speak English.”

“Oh,” she said, blinking. “Did you build Rome?”

The ability that children had to learn languages was astonishing and it left Remus a bit startled, to hear her perfect London accent, her brothers approaching her and Remus as well.

“I didn’t, I’m afraid,” Remus laughed. “I only share the name.”

“Okay,” she replied, suddenly shoving the teddy she’d been holding at him, Remus slowly taking it. “His name is Pipo.”

“Wonderful name,” he stated.

“She calls every toy Pipo,” Antonio told Remus and Hector nodded.

“Pipo is a great name, no wonder she uses it a lot,” Remus chuckled and Irene nodded.

“Yeah but when she asks us to get Pipo, we don’t know which!” Hector huffed.

“That _is_ quite a problem,” Remus hummed, looking down at the toy before watching Irene. “Well, what if we called this one Bear Pipo?”

“No,” she said stubbornly.

“Teddy Pipo?”

“No.”

“ _Oso Pipo_ ,” Elías spoke up, making Remus look over his shoulder and Irene narrowed her eyes. “¿ _Osito Pipo?_ ”

 _That_ seemed to appease the little girl, smiling wide, her two lower front teeth missing and Remus felt his heartstrings pull at the sight. She really was an adorable little one.

“ _¡Si! ¡Osito Pipo!_ ” Irene declared and Hector let out a sigh of relief, a bit too dramatic in the way kids were sometimes, Remus laughing as he stood, knees protesting a bit. 

“ _Oye, tío Elías,_ ” Antonio pulled on the astronomy professor’s hand, making him look down with a smile. “ _¿Podrías hacer el avión?_ ”

Elías chuckled, crouching in front of him, ruffling his curly hair with a wide grin. “ _El avión, ¿eh? ¿Quieres el avión? ¿El avión? ¡PUES VENGA!_ ”

Elías picked him up by the waist, making loud plane noises as he settled the kid over his shoulder, moving through the living room. Antonio giggled wildly, arms spread and Irene began to do the same with Pipo as Hector sat on the couch, laughing just as loud. 

He hadn’t seen these kids in almost a year, since the previous summer when he’d visited London after his interview with Dumbledore and he’d missed them so much. He saw Lola by the kitchen, smiling at them but also crossing her arms, eyebrows raised, making Elías mimic a motor failing as he pulled Antonio off his shoulder, back to the floor, the kid not even standing, just letting himself roll on the carpet, making Elías laugh.

“Alright, alright, no more _avioncito_ ,” Lola declared, gesturing at the kids and they all complained before following her hand to upstairs, to their rooms. “You make them _so_ rowdy,” Lola told Elías, slapping his arm before gently grabbing it, smiling. “They’ve missed you.”

“I’ll babysit this _Semana Santa_ all you want,” Elías winked at her. “How’s John?”

“Busy,” Lola sighed. “His latest gallery was a bit of a failure but hopefully this next one brings his business back up.”

“I’m sorry to hear,” Elías told her, kissing her temple. “And you? I read that article about you, the other day! Your mother sent it to _everyone_.”

“Oh, God, yeah,” she laughed, flushing a bit. “It was - it’s my best work, I’m really proud of it,” she looked over at Remus, who seemed confused, and delightedly said, “I restore art. Lately I’ve been working at the British Museum with pieces that will be returned to Egypt.”

Remus’ eyes widened, “Oh, that’s _wonderful_. That’s - wow.”

“She’s _so_ good,” Elías grinned proudly, throwing his arm over Lola’s shoulder.

“So art is in the family?” Remus asked, smiling.

“For sure,” Lola giggled and Elías rolled his eyes a bit. “Anyway, you need the car, right?”

“Yes, yes,” Elías nodded and Lola slapped the keys in his hand. “I’ll bring it back with a full tank.”

“No need, seriously,” Lola assured, moving down the hallway to the front door, Remus following after Elías and his cousin. “Have a good lunch, I guess?”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Elías told her, hugging her tightly. “Hopefully I’ll see John when we get back, yeah?”

“Hopefully,” Lola murmured into his shoulder, her hands rubbing Elías’ back as the two embraced for a while. Finally separating, stepping outside, Remus saw an old, beat-up Fiat in red. It was in good condition, though, and he tried to remember the last time he’d been inside a car, both men bidding goodbye to Lola before she closed the door and Elías opened the pilot’s door, slipping inside.

“So,” Elías began as he put on his seatbelt, Remus clumsily following. “What did you think of them?” he smiled at the werewolf before starting to adjust the mirrors.

“The same as everyone else in your family,” Remus laughed, rubbing his nose. “Bright. Friendly. Art-lover. Fashionable.”

Elías chuckled a bit, starting the car, the radio turning on. He quickly shut that down, hating the buzz and the unclearness of it, unable to pick the perfect song for each situation. He had his own music, thank you, radio.

“She’s my second-cousin but we were close, back before I moved,” Elías explained, pulling the car out to the driveway, humming. “We used to spend a lot of time together.”

“She’s very nice,” Remus said softly. “Do you also get along with second-cousins?”

“Mhmm, pretty much the ones I know,” Elías nodded.

“Damn,” Remus murmured, looking like he was trying to get used to the car. “So you don’t just have your already huge family on your father’s side, you also have second-cousins?”

“I know,” Elías laughed, grinning at him briefly before focusing on the road. Thankfully, they were on the outskirts of London and traffic wouldn’t hold them up too much. “I - I know I’ve said this before but I honestly love it? Weddings are fucking crazy.”

“So you said,” Remus smiled a bit. “You said it takes days?”

“I mean, it depends,” Elías shrugged. “If you want everyone to see the wedding, it’s best to take three days. The venues are usually open and we always try to pick a place that it’s, you know, able to hold a couple hundreds.”

“ _Couple hundreds?!_ ” Remus threw his hand to his forehead. “That’s insane. Elías, that is _insane_. How do partners even get to meet all of them?”

“Well, eventually,” Elías shrugged. “There’s no rush.”

“Right,” Remus leaned back on his seat, sighing. “It just - Sirius has a big family but… not like _you_ . And you all are - there’s something intrinsically _you_ , yes? With Sirius, it - it varies. James, Peter, and me… we all have - _had_ very nuclear families. Very small ones.”

“I understand how you could be ah, _baffled_ by it, but… it’s just two generations that happened to have a lot of kids. Boomers in Spain, man, they’re another breed,” Elías laughed, shrugging. “Now - roll down the window.”

“Roll what?” Remus blinked.

“The window,” he pointed at the door and Remus touched it all until Elías nodded at him, surprised to see the window start going down, the wind running through his hair. “See? Clears your head.”

“It… alright,” Remus mumbled.

“Hold on - let me think of an appropriate song,” Elías hummed, pausing at a red light, thinking hard. “I’m wondering if you need something upbeat or if it’d benefit you more to relax.”

“I’d like to relax,” Remus confessed.

“Alright, then I’ve got it,” Elías murmured before a song began to play, melodic and soft, a low guitar. 

Remus immediately leaned back on his seat, getting comfortable, his cheek against the raspy material of his seatbelt as he watched through the window, exhausted from lack of sleep and nerves. He felt his limbs slowly relaxing even as the song picked up slightly.

Elías did a thing with the noise around them, the noise of London, muting it around Remus, leaving only this song for him. And Elías always knew how to choose his songs, eyes closing a bit as he slid further on his seat and sighed.

The car’s vibration and the soft background buzz of it mixing with the song was soothing and soon, Remus found himself half-asleep, watching the morning view of the outskirts of London transform into the passage of roads as they slid into the highway. The sound and force of the wind for a moment were too much before they were suddenly perfect and Remus thought that maybe Elías was looping the song but he didn’t mind, mind blessedly blank.

Before he knew it, Remus was fast asleep, leaving Elías to drive in gentle melody with his own song of choice. Remus took a nap of an hour, leaning against the seatbelt with the wind on his face, about to face his father whom he hadn’t seen in ten years. But at least he got some sleep. 

And the next time he opened his eyes, he saw the lake.

Remus felt his breath hitch and he blinked his eyes, sitting up straight, feeling his heart immediately ache at the sight. Elías glanced over at him, a bit worried, his right hand moving to Remus’, the werewolf jumping a bit and turning to the astronomy professor.

“Are you alright?” Elías asked him softly.

“Yes, I just - I haven’t been here… in such a long time,” Remus replied quietly. 

“When was the last time?” Elías paused the car outside of the premises, the gravel under the tires making a crunching, pleasant noise. 

“We spread my mother’s ashes over this lake,” Remus explained, making Elías feel a pang of hurt at the way Remus stared at the waters. “She loved it so much. So very much… we would come here every summer for a month at the very least. And my father would rent a little boat and… and we’d fish together. It was the only muggle thing that my mom got him to try, at the time, and he loved it. I… I don’t know if he still likes it. I used to bring a book with me and he’d talk and talk and talk. And I’d listen.”

Remus went quiet, breathing in softly before exhaling, pointing at a path. 

“The lake house is that way,” he explained. 

“Is that where your father will be?” Elías asked, already moving the car.

“There’s nowhere else he’d be,” Remus sighed and Elías nodded. “I… how long did I sleep?”

“An hour or so,” Elías told him, smiling a bit as he brushed his hair out of his face, music playing low. “Do you feel better, after taking a nap?”

“Yes, I - I do,” Remus confessed, turning to Elías and giving him a small beam. “Thank you, you were right. The car helped. It’s - I can’t believe a loud machine like this would be soothing but -”

“I know,” Elías replied, shrugging, following Remus’ directions, going slowly through the stone path. “Car rides help me assimilate things. My bike - it just doesn’t have the same as a car. It’s why I still have my little Hyundai back home.”

“Maybe I should learn how to ride a car,” Remus chuckled, rubbing his face.

“Drive,” Elías corrected, laughing. “How to _drive_ a car. And honestly? That feels a bit dangerous but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

“I was _joking_ ,” Remus laughed, turning to Elías. “Do you like driving more than the bike?”

“Depends,” Elías shrugged. “Mainly on my mood. Most of the time, though, I like driving better. I think driving focuses you, realigns you. I love it very, very much.”

“Well, I enjoyed it, too,” Remus said quietly.

“I’m glad,” Elías murmured, giving him a soft look.

“Here - _here_ ,” Remus told him, Elías stopping the car in front of a small little cabin, tiny but sweet, probably enough for a married couple and their child. It was cute. Especially the little boardwalk to the lake, a chipped little boat tied to the end. And Lyall, in comfortable clothes that shielded him from the wind, sat with his feet soaking on the water. “That’s… him.”

“Do you want me to stay here?” Elías asked him, killing the engine, turning to look at Remus fully with an understanding look, the two of them taking off their seatbelts. 

“I -” Remus swallowed, nodding, watching Elías with a look of fear in his eyes. “What… do I say?”

“The truth,” Elías replied, fingers moving to brush Remus’ hair back, his other hand sliding to cup his jaw, thumb brushing his cheek. “That you miss him. That you love him. That you never wanted to let your insecurities and self-hatred get in the way of your loved ones, but you did, and you regret it endlessly. That you’re sorry. And that you’ll do better.”

Remus looked terrified but he nodded jerkily and Elías pulled him into a deep hug, feeling his lungs expand as Remus desperately hugged him back, his face against Elías’ neck, breathing hard.

“You can do this, Moony,” Elías whispered to him, gripping the back of his sweater tightly. “I know you can. Your father loves you very much. And I know you love him as well. Do the right thing - and let him know.”

Remus let out a quick breath, holding Elías for a couple more seconds before he pulled back, eyes closing, looking very suddenly at peace. Elías smiled at him, watched him push the passenger door open and stand, staring at the back of his father. Then, taking a deep breath, he began to walk forward, bravery and resolve in his eyes, and Elías watched from behind the wheel, eyes wide, an spectator that only wished the best.

It was torture, the walk to Remus’ father and Elías closed the windows to give them the most privacy he could, arms over the wheel, eyes on Lyall as he looked over his shoulder and gave a small smile at his son, patting the wood at his side, inviting him to sit over. Remus took off his shoes, socks, adjusting his pants before he sat as well, their shoulders touching.

They were talking but Elías couldn’t hear them, blue eyes on them, wishing suddenly that he had a camera because it was such a nice shot - the lake before them, the sun hitting son and father, their backs casting shadow. Elías could only hope that they were being kind to themselves.

He watched for a while, seeing them talking, shoulders touching until, suddenly, forty minutes in, Elías saw Lyall’s shoulders start shaking. He sat up a bit, heart breaking but Remus’ arm came around his face and the two embraced tightly, Remus’ chin over his head, and from this distance Elías couldn’t be sure, but it looked like he was crying as well. 

The Spaniard rubbed at his eyes, relief and happiness running through him as Lyall and Remus held each other once more, laughing by himself in the car. Remus was talking to his father and he could see Lyall nodding rapidly, the two pulling apart only for Lyall to cup Remus’ face, smiling wide. Elías was going to _sob_.

Oh, no, no, now Lyall was looking back at him. Elías waved, a bit awkwardly from the window and Lyall enthusiastically waved back before gesturing for Elías to come. Oh, man.

Elías climbed out of the car, closing the door and starting to move through the boardwalk, seeing Remus laugh at something his father had said and he couldn’t help but smile. After so much anxiety, so many sleepless nights, so much guilt, Elías saw that Remus really could get past all of it. Make small steps.

“Hello, Lyall,” Elías smiled brightly at him, stopping in front of the Lupins. “Good to see you again.”

“Good to see you, too,” he nodded and Elías realized his hand was tight around Remus’. “So you brought me my boy.”

“I did no such thing,” Elías said, sitting down on the creaky wood, criss-cross, giving him a little smirk. “I just… pushed him a bit forward.”

“He encouraged me all the way,” Remus told Lyall, making his father turn to the werewolf with a slow nod. “Elías has been my first friend in a long time, dad.”

“I - you’ve friends now,” Elías flushed.

“But you were the first,” Remus replied, giving him a small smile. “And also, I do consider you my best friend, so -”

“And you’re not dating anyone?” Lyall asked, a bit disappointed, making Remus blush.

“Dad!” he groaned, covering his face, making Elías laugh loudly into his hand.

“Look, I thought that by now you would’ve snagged a nice man for you,” Lyall grumbled, making Elías giggle endlessly into his hands. “I want grandkids!”

“ _Dad_!” Remus rubbed his face, looking embarrassed to hell and back. “That’s - that’s way too fast, alright? Let’s just - reunite for now.”

“So no man?” Lyall sighed.

“None,” Remus looked down at his lap, laughing incredulously.

Elías bit his tongue, knowing perfectly that once the waters had settled and everything was cleared and _some people_ if not _everyone_ went to therapy, he and Sirius would eventually become an item. The two men had a lot of love for each other, even if the time wasn’t quite right. 

“What about work?” Lyall asked softly, making Remus smile a bit. “Do… do your colleagues treat you right?”

“They do,” Remus said softly. “They’re all very kind and fair to me, dad.”

“That’s good,” Lyall looked bright with relief, hand moving to nudge Remus’ chin in a fatherly gesture, Elías smiling. “Elías told me that the kids love you.”

“Some of them,” Remus said humbly.

“Most of them,” Elías replied, making Remus sighed with a bit of fond annoyance, giving him a look. “Oh, don’t do that, they _adore_ you, Remus. Your classes are fun and everyone says how you’re the first professor teaching Defense that actually knows what he’s doing.”

Lyall grinned, nudging Remus, “That’s my boy!”

Remus’ cheeks went a bit rosy, rubbing his nose. “I… I try.”

“What about you, Lyall?” Elías asked as the birds and the rippling water took over the conversation, breaking silence. 

“I’m doing good,” he said softly. “Missing my son, but now he’s back.”

“I am,” Remus added quietly, hand moving to hold his father’s. “We can reunite on holidays, if you want. Have dinner at Easter.”

“I’d love that,” Lyall said, voice breaking, his eyes looking shiny and Elías felt tenderness sink into his stomach. “Talking about dinner and food - we should probably eat lunch.”

“There’s a restaurant nearby,” Remus told Elías as he stood, Elías following and the two helping Lyall up, though the man looked strong and healthy. Elías still helped, anyway.

“No, no, I cooked something in the house,” Lyall assured them and Remus gave a little sigh, giving him a look. “I enjoyed it, don’t worry, my lad.”

“Well, then,” Elías smiled at the two of them. “Let’s set up a table outside? It’d be nice to enjoy the good weather!”

“While it lasts,” Lyall remarked, making Remus laugh. 

“I'll bring out the table,” Remus pulled out his wand as they all walked to the cabin, his green eyes roaming it, looking nostalgic. “Did you rent it for the day?”

“I rented it the entire weekend,” Lyall told him, making Remus glance over at him. “I hadn’t in a while. And I wanted to enjoy some peace here.”

“It looks the same,” Remus murmured. “Yet everything has changed.”

“Some for the worse, some for the better,” Lyall nodded, climbing up the porch stairs before opening the front door, Remus and Elías stepping inside, the werewolf’s breath hitching as he looked around. “Your mother loved this cabin very much. When she passed away, the owners told me that they’d planned on selling it. But - well, you know how your mother was. Always making friends everywhere.”

“They kept it for us?” Remus asked, voice quiet, touching the back of the couch as Elías observed what must’ve been part of a Lupin tradition.

“Yes,” Lyall sent him a small smile. “Now their kid owns it, ah, Ava is her name. She told me that this cabin isn’t much of an interest to anyone else. We were the last to rent it.”

“And now you rent it again,” Elías smiled softly, making Lyall nod as he walked into the kitchen, opening the door, letting something that smelled delicious reach Remus and Elías. “Oh, that smells delightful.”

“Thank you, lad,” Lyall laughed. “I’m not the best cook, but I do try.”

“I’m sure it’s amazing,” Remus grinned, waving his wand to shrink the dinner table by the living room, levitating it to the outside, Elías turning to Lyall.

“So -” he began but was cut off when Lyall approached him and gave him a tight hug, Elías blinking, started. “Lyall -”

“Thank you,” his voice shook, making Elías’ eyes _immediately_ water. Godsdamn it. “Thank you for bringing me my son. Thank you for encouraging him. Thank you for being a friend to him. I always worry and - and to know that he has a friend… a friend who _knows_ about his - his condition -”

“It was a pleasure,” Elías told him, trying not to sob, lower lip shaking from emotion. “It - Gods, it really was a pleasure. Remus is a good man. Stubborn and too self-deprecating sometimes but he’s a _good man_. I am so very glad I could help, Lyall.”

“Don’t give up on him, please,” the man begged and Elías froze. “I know - I know he pushes everyone away, I know it’s _my_ fault, I taught him to -”

“Lyall -”

“But I know he can rise above that,” he pulled back from Elías, looking at him in the eye, almost begging him. “Don’t let him push you away.”

“I won’t,” Elías sniffled a bit, rubbing his eyes. “I’m not. I know and - I’m not letting him, Lyall. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” he breathed, suddenly laughing. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I’m a big crybaby, this is nothing,” Elías giggled, shaking his head. 

“Still, I - thank you, is all,” Lyall gave him a small smile. 

“You’re very much welcome,” Elías returned, nodding. “So! Let’s bring out everything, yeah? Smells amazing and I am _hungry_.”

They brought out everything, Remus joining them after he’d put everything over the grass, overlooking the lake, each chair secured along with the table. As Lyall and Elías put lunch down, Remus glanced at the lake, his eyes a bit distant, and Elías paused. Lyall walked back to the house to get a pitcher of water but Elías touched Remus’ shoulder, making him turn to him.

“You okay?” Elías asked in a quiet voice.

“Yeah,” he whispered, eyes on Elías’ face, giving him a sad smile. “Just… just wishing my mother could be here now.”

Elías didn’t know what to say, keeping quiet, willing to listen to Remus as he sighed softly, overlooking the lake again.

“She would’ve loved you,” Remus told him.

“Yeah?” Elías gave a small smile and Remus laughed, nodding, turning back to Elías.

“Yes. She loved music, too, but she had _no talent_ with any instrument. And neither with singing. Dad and I put up with her singing just because we loved her but sometimes… sometimes it got to _too much_.”

“She sounded like a pair of fighting cats,” Lyall stated as he walked back with the pitcher and Elías laughed. “Awful. Simply _awful_. But she didn’t care.”

“That’s the way it should be,” Elías told them, grinning as they three sat down, Remus right next to his father on the rectangular dinner table, Elías taking the side, next to Remus, so he could look at the lake as well. “Let nobody care how they sing. Just sing for the fun of it.”

“I bet you sing very well,” Lyall said dryly and Remus laughed as Elías’ jaw dropped. 

“No, I - I just think anyone should be allowed to sing, even if they’re tone deaf!”

“He sings very well,” Remus told his father, who rolled his eyes and Elías grinned, feeling like the lightheartedness of the situation was only endearing him more and more to this man. “He’s a musician, dad.”

“Oh?” Lyall looked up and Elías kicked Remus under the table. “Is that so?”

“I studied music,” Elías replied and Lyall blinked.

“In Beauxbatons?”

“In college.”

“Oh, you’re - muggleborn!” he said, surprised and Elías nodded. “Sorry, it’s just - the snakes, the long hair, the whole… Slytherin thing you’ve got -”

“I get that a lot,” Elías replied, digging into lunch. “But yes, I’m a muggleborn.”

“I see,” Lyall said, a bit quietly. “And - and you came by car, yes?”

“Yes, I thought it’d help clear up Remus’ head, and it’d be nice to drive here,” Elías said softly, making Lyall look over at his son. 

“Your mother had a car, she didn’t like driving it too much,” he told Remus, who paused, surprised, turning to him.

“Did she?” Remus was surprised.

“We sold it once you started Hogwarts and we moved back to Essex. It was rusting away. I don’t remember what she called it, you know she liked to put names on all her muggle machines but - but I remember it was blue, do you remember?”

“...yeah,” Remus murmured, face once of deep thought. “I - I remember.”

Elías said nothing, not wanting to interrupt the conversation, eating the frankly delicious roast beef Lyall had done. The sauce was spectacular.

“I never… well, I never understood muggle technology,” Lyall said and Elías was caught for a moment as he looked over at him. “Could… I join you both later? For the ride back to London?”

Elías glanced at Remus and he nodded, smiling, making Elías nod as well, “Yeah, of course. It’d be nice to drive you back, Lyall.”

“Thank you,” he said softly.

The rest of lunch was a bit lighter but Elías noticed a pattern where it would slow down and stop every time they mentioned Hope. The wound of their loss was still very much open and Elías could kind of understand why - if he ever lost his mother, he didn’t think his own family could recover from such a blow. It only made him want to see his mother even more.

But it was still relaxing, still nice. Lyall spoke of his work, of how he’d been able to push into bettering the whole department of regulation of magic creatures, how people knew that they were people now. He was friends with various lycanthrope activists and Remus seemed to sink a bit into his chair, guilt in his face until Lyall started talking about all the good friends he’d made there. All the good werewolves, all the good people, that cared for him and invited him to Christmas dinners and little reunions.

Once lunch was over, the three of them stayed on the table, still conversing about Hogwarts, about life, about students like Harry and Theo, about Flitwick’s choir and Pomona’s latest batch of mandrakes, about books and literature and muggle movies and Elías’ own family. And Remus seemed _so happy_. He was smiling, beaming, a beacon of light whenever his father would clap him on the shoulder and the two looked at each other.

When they began to pull the dishes back into the house, Lyall proposed a little fishing moment on the boat and Remus’ face lit up so much that Elías ended up telling them to go on their own, that he’d clean the dishes the muggle way - “I enjoy it,” he assured Lyall as he frowned and Remus gave Elías a soft, kind smile.

As Lyal began to prepare the boat and Elías played some music lowly while starting on the dishes, Remus walked into the kitchen, making him pause. “Hey!” he smiled at him. “How are you fee -”

It seemed to be a pattern for the Lupins, because Remus interrupted him with a deep hug, making Elías laugh, patting a still wet and soapy hand over his shoulder. 

“I take it you’re feeling good,” Elías said as Remus pulled back, grinning. “So?”

“You were right,” Remus laughed. “I just had to be honest with him.”

“It’s about time you learned that I’m always right,” Elías told him, raising a single eyebrow at him, patting his cheek while Remus just chuckled, watching Elías with unabashed gratefulness. “Remus, I didn’t do much. I only happened to run into him. You came here, you talked to him, you did all the things you had to. It’s your doing. And I’m proud of you.”

“Still,” Remus said softly, hands finding Elías’, squeezing both, watching the Spaniard with a look Elías couldn’t really decipher. “You’ve done so much for me. So -” he took a deep breath. “So I was thinking that I might just do a little something for you.”

“And what is that?” Elías asked.

“I’m going to attend _every single_ barbeque in the summer that you and your family invite me to,” he stated, making Elías gasp. “No exception.”

“Remus!” Elías laughed, arms moving around his neck to hug him tight. “Oh my Gods! For real?! You’ll come?!”

“All of them,” he promised, hugging Elías back. “Even though I’ll burn like a shrimp. And not understand any Spanish. And probably use a fork for something that’s not eaten with a fork but fuck it. You want me to go, so I’ll go.”

“Oh, I’m gonna cry again,” Elías sniffled, making Remus embrace him tighter, lifting Elías a little bit off the ground. “Re _muuuus_!”

“Eliaaaas,” he returned, finally putting him down, Elías rubbing his nose and leaving suds on his face, Remus chuckling as he lifted the edge of his sweater to clean it. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Elías sighed, scrunching up his nose before shoving a bit at his chest. “I’m proud of you. _Again_.”

“I’m just happy to have him again. And - and to have you, too,” Remus admitted, making Elías’ heart pitter patter against his ribs like a xylophone, flushing a bit. “I’ve to go on that boat and… hopefully I can talk to him a bit more about… mom.”

“You two miss her very much,” Elías said softly.

“We do,” Remus murmured, sighing. “I just… I only wish I knew what she would’ve wanted for me, you know? I wish I had her advice with me.”

“I depend so much on my father’s advice, I understand,” Elías told him, rubbing his arm before going on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Just go. Go talk to him. If you want, I can even play you two some music.”

“Would you?” Remus chuckled a bit, his hand moving to cup Elías’ elbow, smiling at him. “You’d have just the perfect song. You always do.”

“Music is the one thing I _do_ know a lot about,” Elías laughed. “And I’ve got the advantage of having my Sight.”

“Alright,” Remus murmured. “Choose a song for us, then.”

“I know just the one,” Elías whispered, letting Remus slip away, out of the cabin, and he hoped this song would help the Lupins. But first - cleaning the dishes.

He focused on that, occasionally looking up through the window to see Lyall and Remus talking, setting up the rods and bait, father taking off his own hat to smack it on top of Remus’ head, slapping his cheek fondly, gently, Remus nearly falling off the boat in an attempt to avoid it. Elías suddenly missed his father a lot, thinking of all the history and facts and tips that he gave when the two went fishing out to the bay at Cádiz. 

Once he was finally done, he put the dishes on the rack to dry and moved out to the porch, sitting on the swinging bench, pulling out his wand. Lately he hadn’t needed it as much to make music, maybe because it was starting to become instinctual. But Remus and Lyall were a bit further from him and he wanted it to sound nicely around them. So he closed his eyes, tightened his hold on his wand and breathed out.

He knew the moment the spell had taken effect, his fingers buzzing and Remus and Lyall reacting, the guitar playing softly at first. Lyall seemed to look over his way and Elías waved a bit, receiving two waves. And then the lyrics began.

“ _We built our home out on the slopes, Pompeii beneath, she lay above_ ,” Elías sang under his breath along with the song so he wouldn’t miss a single beat and Remus seemed to freeze as he sang the next words. “ _How she haunted our home, how she haunted our home… You were God in my eyes; above the clouds, above the sky. You were God in my eyes, you were God in my… eyes…_ ”

He let the song get a little louder, Lyall and Remus facing each other and Elías pulled his feet up to the bench, hoping that this was the right move. Lyall said something. Remus laughed, looking a bit like he was choking.

“ _You took me walking through the town, showed me the statues underground. Said just don’t they look in peace? Sometimes I wish that was me. I was the son you always had, tugging at your coat when you were sad. I was the son you always had, I was the son you always had…_ ”

Remus looked over at him and Elías couldn’t really make out his expression from this distance but he thought he saw surprise in his eyes, that look he had when Elías picked a song and it… got to him. The same way Sirius had looked when he’d played sang _More Than A Feeling_. If Elías had chosen well, this was the sign to keep going. And so he did.

“ _Don’t cry, hold your head up high_ ,” he played, son and father reaching for each other. “ _She would want you to, she would want you to. Just don’t cry and hold your head up high, she would want you to, she would want you to…_ ”

Soft trumpets joined and Elías heard them echo through the lake, looking up to see the weather starting to worsen a bit. The clouds had been threatening a bit but it wasn’t too bad yet. The lake was still calm, in any case.

“ _You said stay in the car and wait, there’s just some things I have to say. Don’t you know I miss her too? I miss her just as much as you_ ,” Elías saw the visible reaction from Remus, jerking forward a bit and catching his father on the shoulder, Lyall’s hand rubbing his face hard. “ _So my father and my son, as you end what she’s begun, you’ll lay patient by her side, with roses red come lilies white._ ”

They were crying, Elías could see it well and he decided to keep staring at the rolling, grey clouds instead of this intimate moment. He was only here to provide a little push, a little bit of help, the guitar slowing down.

“ _I was too young to understand the flowers slipping from your hands. I was too young to understand, I was too young to understand._ _I was too young to understand the flowers sleeping in her hands. I was too young to understand, I was too young to unders… tand._ ”

The music picked up again and Elías let his chin rest on his knee, hearing the beginning of rain start to fall, just a light little thing. Lyall and Remus didn’t move, though, talking through the instrumentals, Lyall’s hand cupping the back of Remus’ head, foreheads together, Remus looking like he was sobbing hard.

“ _Don’t cry, hold your head up high. She would want you to, she would want you to. Please, just don’t cry, hold your head up high. She would want you to, she would want you to, please…_ ”

The rest of the song kept echoing around them both and Elías smiled as the two of them seemed to calm down a bit, rowing back to the boardwalk as the rain started to fall heavier, Elías standing and taking his wand to cast an umbrella charm, rushing to the two of them as they ran towards the cabin.

“Here, here!” Elías laughed a bit as Remus almost slipped. “Rain came out of nowhere.”

“Not _nowhere_ , I told you,” Lyall laughed, his eyes a bit red. “It’s so obvious you’re not an Englishman.”

“Oh? What gave it away?” Elías asked sarcastically, the three now on the porch, casting drying charms and a warming one, moving inside the cabin. “Was it the American accent or my very much not English name?”

“He’s sassy,” Lyall told Remus, who laughed. “I really liked that spell you cast back there, though, Elías. You said you studied music?”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded, smiling at him.

“Well, it was a very nice song,” he told him, hand moving to squeeze his arm. “Thank you. Thank you very much. Lovely.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Elías murmured, brushing his hair back with a small smile. “If it’s going to rain, I think it’s best if we leave now. Traffic can get very bad in London.”

“Then we should go, yes,” Lyall nodded. “Let me just get my bags.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, watching the man walk away before turning to Remus, who looked exhausted but - changed, somehow. “Was - was it the perfect song?” Elías asked him, a bit nervously. “Or too -”

“It was the perfect song,” Remus replied quietly, hand moving to brush some of Elías’ hair behind his ear, his eyes tender. “It… it was exactly what we needed. What I needed.”

“I’m glad,” Elías whispered, hand moving to grip his, squeezing. “Are you okay, though? For real?”

“I haven’t been okay in a long time,” Remus told him and Elías nodded, understanding, watching Remus take a deep breath. “But - but I think I could be okay, starting from now. After all of this… maybe things will truly be alright.”

Elías felt his insides clench and he nearly began to cry again, looking away to rub at his eyes, feeling so absurdly _happy_ that Remus felt that way. He sniffled a bit and Remus took a hold of his chin, turning his face to his, giving him a sad little smile.

“I keep making you cry,” he said quietly.

“This one’s happy, shut up,” Elías slapped his chest, sobbing. “That was really tender and nice, out there. I saw you two hug. And I kept - I kept thinking of how nervous you were and how scared you were and I - I’m just _really happy_ for you, Remus.”

“Thank you,” Remus told him once again, swallowing before he hugged Elías, making the Spaniard’s eyes shine again. “This has been the greatest day, Eli. You’ve no idea how much I wanted this.”

“W-when we get b-back to Hogwarts,” Elías whined. “You better not p-pull the same s-self deprecating s-shit, Lupin.”

“I’m going to try my best,” he murmured.

“Good,” Elías slapped his shoulder, lower lip shaking. “ _Tonto. Mira que eres tonto._ ”

“I understood that.”

“ _Good_ ,” Elías pulled away, hand reaching to brush some of Remus’ hair out of his eyes. “And next time, we’ll host lunch for your dad, yeah? He shouldn’t be the one cooking for his adult son. It’s rude.”

“I didn’t expect him to have _cooked the meal_ ,” Remus replied, sighing.

“Well, next time we know _better_ ,” Elías scolded. “Honestly, the man deserves a break.”

“I know,” Remus told Elías.

“We can prepare something nice, you know, impress him!”

“You want to impress my father?” Remus laughed, hands on Elías’ elbows as Elías pinched his neck. “Ow!”

“I want to impress everyone I meet, Lupin, don’t take me for a _Gryffindor_ ,” he warned, eyes glinting and Remus just laughed again. “Yes, I want to impress your father. I like him.”

“He likes you, too,” Remus grinned, pulling him a bit closer. “A lot.”

“Good, I’m very likeable,” Elías huffed and Remus laughed again, resting his forehead on Elías’, the two breaking out into twin smiles. “You owe me one,” Elías told him teasingly, smirking.

“Oh, I sure do,” Remus chuckled, eyes opening to meet Elías’. “What would appease your snakey little heart? Shiny things?”

“Mmm, I do love shinies,” Elías laughed. “But no, no. I want you to _sing_.”

“Oh no,” Remus groaned, dropping his head back, Elías trying to pull him back down with a wild snicker. “Haven’t we talked about this? I’m going to look ridiculous.”

“I want to hear you sing.”

“I’m _awful_ -”

“Remus -”

“Like nails on chalkboard -”

“ _Mooonyyyy_ …” Elías sang. “You prooooomised!”

“You’re going to regret it,” Remus warned him, pinching his cheek, making Elías whine when they heard Lyall loudly walking down the stairs, pulling apart as if burned, realizing just how close they were standing. “Dad. Are you ready?”

“Yes!” he was smiling brightly, his eyes sparkling with happiness. “To the car?”

“To the car,” Elías chuckled, the three walking out and closing the door of the cabin, rain coming down hard by now. Elías enjoyed it, inhaling deeply the smell of petrichor, feeling his magic buzz a little bit with excitement. “Come on.”

Climbing into the car, they all dried up whatever was wet with some magic and Elías started it, pulling away from the cabin and beginning the trip back to London, Elías quickly playing another song - quietly, nicely, not letting it get in the way of talking, if Remus and Lyall wanted to. Lyall sat in the back, in the middle, needing some help to put on his seatbelt but he looked a bit delighted to be in the car.

“So you’re like a walking muggle radio!” Lyall pointed out, making Elías laugh.

“More or less, yes,” Elías admitted, smiling. “I’m always listening to music.”

“How nice,” Lyall said softly. “You’re a good influence for my Remus.”

“ _Dad_ -”

“Oh, I-I wouldn’t know about that,” Elías laughed, flushing hard. He’d never been called a _good influence_ on anyone. Not a great student, full of tattoos, dyed and weird hair. It was strange for Lyall to state so but it did flatter him greatly.

“I think you are,” Lyall said firmly, slapping Remus’ shoulder. “Learn from him to be a little happier, yes?”

“Yes, dad,” Remus sighed, but gave a small smile, watching Elías, making him blush a bit harder. “I _am_ trying to… be happier. Be kinder to myself.”

“That’s good,” Lyall told him, ruffling his hair, Remus chuckling. “I quite enjoyed lunch today. Are you free in two weeks time? I have a free spot on Saturday night and maybe you two could drop by the house?”

“The one you own in London?” Remus asked.

“Yes!” Lyall nodded. “Make a habit of visiting me, lad, I _miss_ you.”

“I will, dad,” Remus murmured. “But I’m pretty sure that by then, Elías will be in Cartagena -”

“I can spare a Saturday night,” Elías replied, shrugging, making Lyall grin. “If you want me there -”

“I do,” the two Lupins chorused and Lyall gave Remus a look that Elías didn’t catch, Remus looking away from his father.

“Then I’ll be there,” Elías told them both, smiling. “It’s a promise.”

* * *

After dropping Lyall off at his apartment, filling the tank of the car again and showing Remus awful gas station candy and finally returning the car to Lola’s home, where they met John and bit goodnight to the kids, the two professors arrived back at Hogwarts.

“Well,” Elías breathed out, grinning as Remus ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know about you, but I think that went _very_ well.”

“That went -” Remus laughed, incredulous, turning to him. “That was brilliant.”

Elías smiled, rushing in again to hug him, rubbing his back. “Ah, Remus!” he laughed into his shoulder. “You and your dad are good!”

“We’re good,” Remus breathed, hugging Elías back. “Merlin…”

“Do you want to celebrate?” Elías asked him, grinning. “We can go to San Fernando again. Have some dinner in El Bartolo? If you want? Should be nice and warm outside.”

“It’s tempting, Eli, but I’m exhausted,” Remus laughed. “Plus, we have to check on Sirius and I don’t think I’ve enough energy in me to actually - you know, come back to the castle, much less go to San Fernando.”

“Understandable,” Elías nodded. “Well - I’ll grab dinner from the kitchens, then, and we’ll meet in the Shack? Though I _do_ have to go to the Dungeons first, so I might be a little later.”

“Sounds good to me,” Remus nodded before reaching forward and kissing Elías’ forehead again, making the Spaniard smile, scrunching up his nose. “Thank you. For today. For the song. For _everything_. I really do need to give you something petty and shiny.”

“No, you don’t. Just talk to your dad, work on yourself and maybe go to therapy,” he told the man, rolling his eyes before walking out of his rooms, his heart filled to burst. He was in a _great_ mood, nothing like on Saturday morning.

So he wasn’t paying much attention as he walked to the dungeons, kids already moving to their dorms, looking sad that their weekend was over and he passed by Greg and Theo as they walked out of the dungeons, looking happy.

“Professor!” Greg gasped. “You’ve got long hair!”

“I do, Greg, I do,” Elías laughed, smiling at him.

“It looks good, sir,” Theo grinned. “Are you here to see Professor Snape and Corban?”

“Oh,” Elías blinked, surprised. “Yaxley is here?”

“Yeah,” Greg nodded, smiling. The kids seemed fond of him. “He came here to eat dinner! And we got to see him! He’s barely around, lately, so it was nice to see him!”

“I’m glad you got to, then,” Elías smiled at the two of them. “Now come on, go off. You two should get back to the Slytherin dorms. I don’t want you to be caught by Filch - wouldn’t want Hufflepuff to win over us in this year’s House Cup, hmm?”

“No, sir,” they chorused, moving along, Elías smiling at their backs as Greg nudged Theo and Theodore gave a laugh. It was good to see them happy.

He walked down the stairs to the dungeons with a bit more care, realizing that one of Severus’ friends was there, taking a deep breath. He quickly ran his hands over his hair and, after a moment, decided to just pull it over his shoulder. Maybe he should cut it, just a bit. The long hair fantasy wasn’t as good as he’d thought but there was no point to pondering it now.

Would Severus like it?

No, _no_ , he should never cater the way he dressed or the way he did his hair to anyone’s tastes but _his own_. That was a slippery slope to being a miserable fool. So he shook it all off, thinking only of his Amortentia and meeting another pureblood in his quest to deradicalize a bunch of pureblood fascists.

Gods. His father would _kill_ him if he knew.

Knocking, Elías slowly opened the door, smelling immediately the familiar fumes of a blood-replenishing potion, waving his hand a bit. It seemed like the beetle eye had just been added, by the amount of smoke in the classroom and Elías coughed a bit.

“Elías?” Severus called and Elías waved his wand to get rid of the fumes, revealing Severus and a short, older Asian man wearing dark red robes, looking _exhausted_ , dark circles under his eyes and his hand tight on his wand. “You’re back.”

“Yep. Sorry for the interruption, I came in to check on my potion?” he called, standing in front of them, Severus glancing at Yaxley before looking intensely at Elías. “Er… hi?”

“Hello,” Yaxley spoke, giving him a slow, curt nod. He spoke with a very light Irish tilt. “I believe you’re Elías Fernández?”

“Yes, that’s me,” he smiled, nodding, offering his hand and Yaxley glanced at it for a moment before veeeery slowly shaking it, his palm sweaty and a slight tremble to his fingers that he hid with a firm grip. Elías didn’t comment, didn’t give any indicator that he’d noticed.

“Severus has spoken of you,” Yaxley began and Severus gave him a _deep_ glare.

“Is that so?” Elías grinned widely at his friend.

“Narcissa more so,” Yaxley added and Elías laughed a bit. “I was wondering what type of person you were.”

“Sorry I could not make it to yesterday’s dinner invitation,” Elías apologized and Yaxley just nodded, Severus watching the interaction with sharp eyes. “Next time, I won’t refuse.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he replied, eyes curious as they ran over Elías - his clothes, his wand in hand, his hair, his face, even his shoes. He was slowly calculating him, the same way Lucius had done the first time they’d met in the Astronomy Tower.

“Well, if you need me, I’ll be working on my potions,” Elías told them both, walking past them and into Severus’ office, happy to see that Severus had already put it on the fire, low and simmering, ready for him to add the moondew they’d talked about before.

He reached for it, already laying in a tiny little phial, wand at the ready to pull it drop by drop into the mixture, which was exactly what he did, stirring thoroughly between each drop. It was a delight to see the potion turn from a too matte solution into a clearer, more shimmery mixture. He could even begin to smell a slight change from potions into something else.

He was fifteen minutes into the brewing process when the door of the office opened and Severus and Yaxley walked in, Severus wordless and Yaxley bidding a quiet goodbye before he disappeared through the chimney, flames engulfing his red figure. Once gone, Severus turned on his heels, watching Elías.

“You’ve been gone all day,” he pointed out.

“Yep. Personal stuff,” Elías nodded.

“Is everything… alright?” Severus asked, looking confused.

“Yes?” Elías frowned, turning to him, just as confused. “Why do you ask?”

Severus didn’t respond for a moment, watching Elías, the Spaniard blinking back at him. Severus looked _frustrated_ , almost, and Elías wondered what the fuck had he done to deserve that look. Had he fucked the potion up? Had he applied too much moondew? Now enough? Was Severus judging him or judging his disappearance or -

Severus reached over to his hair, taking a strand and letting it slowly slide through his fingers, thumb brushing it. Elías watched him, watched his eyes run through the strand that finally fell down, his hand still raised, as if it was still there. Elías stopped breathing as Severus’ eyes moved to his.

“Your hair,” he said, and Elías remembered what Remus had told him. “Is it a statement?”

“No, I honestly just wanted long hair,” Elías confessed, snorting a bit, grinning at Severus but the potioneer wasn’t smiling at all. “What, do I look stupid?” Elías challenged, a bit annoyed. “You look like you want to kill me. Did I look ridiculous in front of Yaxley, or what?”

“No,” Severus schooled his features, still staring at him. “It’s just… strange.”

“My natural hair color?” Elías asked, wondering just what the fuck that expression was.

“The length,” Severus told him. “It…”

Elías waited as the potions professor trailed off, brow furrowed, watching Elías as if he were a particularly hard puzzle that he hadn’t figured out yet. Elías didn’t understand why this was frustrating Severus so and he was starting to regret ever changing his hair. As if it were a _big deal_. Fucking pureblood wizards, man.

“It what?” Elías prompted.

“It suits you,” Severus finished with a breath and out of all the things that Elías had been expecting, that reply wasn’t it, making his eyes widen. “Makes your jaw look sharper. You look more elegant, more wizarding. It complements… everything that you are.”

“Is that so?” Elías whispered, heart in his throat, butterflies exploding in his stomach.

“You are not a pureblood wizard. You never will be,” Severus stated, hand resting on the table, arm brushing Elías’ hip and Elías felt himself trapped and _enjoying it_ , belly simmering with heat at the intense stare Severus had. “You’re absurd. Baffling. You keep gallivanting through Slytherins, through the customs, dressing however you want, damn the consequences. You are not trying to sent a message at all, you just _like it_ . You are unabashedly _wild_.”

“It frustrates you,” Elías murmured, feeling Severus’ breath wash over his face, swallowing. “I frustrate you,” he said firmly.

“You do,” Severus admitted.

“And you also find me fascinating,” Elías dared to say, seeing the twitch of his eyebrow. Hook, line and _sinker_. “Because you don’t know what I’ll do next. Because you thought you knew everything you needed to know about me. But you don’t.”

“But I don’t,” Severus repeated, swallowing himself, his throat moving. “Do you have me figured out, Elías?”

“Absolutely not,” Elías confessed and the chuckle that came from Severus made him giggle. “I told you I was honest!”

“Merlin,” Severus stepped back, a part of Elías disappointed in that, hips shifting and breathing out slowly. He hadn’t known he’d been holding his breath. “Every time I think you might just be able to outsmart me, you confess that you’ve no idea what you're doing.”

“That’s because I don’t,” Elías laughed, shaking his head, turning to check on his potion before he put out the fire, able to walk away from it and towards Severus’ desk as he sat down, organizing the top of it. “I never have any idea what I’m doing, Sev, I thought that was obvious.”

“It is, now. Painfully so,” he stated, then paused. “Potioneers need to know how to hold back their hair, lest they get into potions. Do you know how?”

“Are you asking me if I know how to braid hair?” Elías blinked.

“Yes.”

“I do,” Elías rolled his eyes. “Don’t - wait, do you?”

“I am a potioneer, am I not?” he cocked an eyebrow and Elías grinned. “In any case - goodnight, Elías. I’ve much to do before Sunday ends and I need some peace.”

“Aw, alright,” Elías laughed, stepping back. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Dinner?”

“Dinner indeed,” he nodded. “I’ll come by your rooms tomorrow night.”

“Sounds good,” Elías smiled, giving him a little smile. “Why don’t you invite Yaxley as well?”

Severus blinked hard, looking up at Elías as if he’d grown a second head, “Excuse me?”

“Invite him over,” Elías told him again. “To our dinner tomorrow. We can do it at Spinner’s End if that makes him more comfortable.”

“Why on Earth would you want to invite Corban?” Severus was baffled.

“Because I want to get to know him,” Elías told him, as if it was the most evident thing he’d ever said to the potions professor and Severus simply watched him, as if not really trusting his word. “The kids - I saw them on my way here. They spoke of Yaxley as if he was the cool uncle of the bunch. I trust their judgement more than mine, since I have only barely met him. So - let me meet him properly. No Hogwarts, no expectations, no need to hide. Just - dinner between friends.”

“You’re much more scheming than you think you are,” Severus told him.

“Oh?” Elías brushed back his hair, eyebrows raising.

“You - you play the naive card a lot. Or maybe you don’t realize that you’re scheming at all. But I see you. I know what you’re doing,” Severus sighed deeply, leaning back on his seat. “Alright. I’ll extend the invitation for dinner - very probably not tomorrow night.”

“Saturday?” Elías offered. 

“Saturday it is,” he nodded. “But Elías -”

“Yes?” Elías gave him a sickly sweet and innocent smile, Severus rolling his eyes.

“Behave,” he told him before waving his hand. “Now leave me be.”

“Yes, sir,” Elías laughed, stepping back. “Goodnight, Sev.”

“Goodnight, Elías.”


	46. Of Sand and Seers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Back at it against with a 1.25am chapter! Haha! And here's SO MUCH MAGIC LORE AND EXPOSITION EHEHEHEH
> 
> Songs in this chapter:  
> \- Just put Vera Lynn on shuffle. What a gal.
> 
> Trigger warning:  
> \- mention of self harm  
> \- mild discussion of bullying  
> \- mild sexual content

Elías woke up on Tuesday morning early, too early, heart beating rapidly, sweat coating his hairline and underwear _soaked,_ eyes wide as he panted hard, his entire body on _fire_.

“ _Joder, joder -”_ he breathed, hands running over his face, gripping his hair hard. Never in his life had he had such a wildly _vivid_ sexual dream as the one he just had, his face burning and his thighs pressing together, dick pressing insistently against the front of his underwear. “ _Me cago en la p –_ “

He wanted to _scream_ , and he did – against a pillow, his entire body fizzing with sexual frustration, trying to forget, forget, _forget it ever happened_. It had just been so – so fucking _real_ , had it been a dream? Had it been a _Sight_? Fuck, what if it was a Sight? What if there really was a probability to –

This was _ridiculous_. This was stupid, there was no use to pining after men that wouldn’t look twice at him, both Remus and Severus. But –

But _Sirius_? _Really_?

Elías grumbled against his pillow, glaring at the ceiling, hating his overactive mind and the latest weeks without a single orgasm to appease him. Of course he had a vivid dream, of _course_ it was about one of the most attractive men in his life, but did it have to be fucking _Sirius_ of all people? Elías barely knew him! Elías didn’t even – like, alright, yes, they both were musically synchronized, they both got along, Sirius was a terrible, terrible flirt and Elías was maybe just very, very, _very_ lonely and horny.

He felt so embarrassed, though, thinking of the way his dream had detailed the feeling of Sirius’ hands over the backs of his thighs, spreading them roughly as he kissed Elías deeply, pressing him into his bed in San Fernando, smelling of summer, chlorine and rum. It made his cock pulse with need and Elías rolled onto his front, covering his head with the pillow. The sun wasn’t even out and Elías was fantasizing sexually about _Sirius_.

This couldn’t be happening. This was a nightmare.

But _had it been a dream_ or _had it been a Sight_? That was the real question. And after a few minutes of idly grinding against his mattress, he decided very firmly that he did not want to know. At all. So he stood, at five in the morning, grabbing his clothes for the day so he could get a cold ass shower and forget about all of this. If it was a dream, it’d fade easily from his memory.

If not… then he’d have to face Sirius and try very hard not to think about what his Sight had told him that tongue could do.

The cold shower helped and he made it brief but meaningful, reminding himself that he wasn’t a teenager anymore, he was a _professor_. He was a Seer, someone who had to be professional. Sirius was a convict, still, and he wasn’t free and he hadn’t taken a shower in what probably was _years_. The man was also in a terrible position to start anything at all, aside from the fact that he and Remus were _in love_. Gods – _Gods_ –

There was just so many levels of fucked up in that Sight, and it was going _nowhere_ and Elías was annoyed, horny and a little bit angry with Sirius. And with himself, too, for good measure. Because Sirius was a vain, self-serving, cocky little _Gryffindor_ with too much of an ego and Elías would be _caught dead_ before he slept with him. He might be young and desperate and impulsive, but he wasn’t _that_ feral.

With that in mind, Elías started his day by preparing the very first drumming lesson with Theodore, moving up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower with a heavy head full of _fucking hair_ that he actually really loved but just wasn’t used to, just yet. He sat down, began to write the notes on the principles of music reading, a little bit of historical context and let the early morning pass by as he sat on his desk, waiting for an appropriate time to go to breakfast.

It’d be fine. It’d be alright. It was only a _possibility_. Nothing else.

* * *

“Tonight I’m a bit busy,” Elías told Remus in a bold-faced lie before dinner, after Theodore’s lesson – quite a success, really, especially since he had picked up on everything fast. He’d easily paid attention, eyes wide, and even though he’d only gotten to know the names of each drum and cymbal instead of downright playing on this first lesson, he’d still paid attention, fascinated by everything Elías had to say. It’d been kind of inspiring, if Elías was honest, to see him so into a lesson the way he wasn’t with anything else.

Remus, though, walking beside him down the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, simply nodded, giving him a small smile. “You’ve got class tonight, right?”

“Yeah,” Elías sighed. “Three classes, one right after the other, and two are Seventh Years. I’ve got a Sixth Year exam, too. So tell Sirius I’m sorry but I won’t be there – you’ve dinner for him, right?”

“Mhmm, don’t worry,” Remus nodded, giving him a small smile. “Take care of yourself.”

_Yes, by avoiding Sirius, I definitely am._

“Thanks, I will,” Elías sighed, stretching a bit as the two left the tower. “Man, I am _so_ very glad that Severus is the one behind dinner tonight. Lately I’ve been running out of ideas.”

"You two truly make dinner every night?” Remus’ eyebrows raised.

“Well, not every night of the week. Sometimes life gets in the way but uh, yeah,” Elías nodded, brushing some of his hair out of his face, wondering if he should’ve braided it before going to the dungeons.

“Those seem like dates,” Remus pointed out with a little knowing smirk and Elías’ face went red, shoving at him, the other professor laughing loud enough to make a few students on the hallway turn in their direction.

“No, they’re not!” Elías whisper-yelled, embarrassed. “Gods – _Remus_ , you little _shit_!”

“Sorry, sorry, I had to,” he snickered, nudging Elías back but much gentler. “But really, Eli, you’ve gotta look at them a bit, hmm?”

“Severus and I are friends, idiot,” Elías rolled his eyes. “I’ve no idea why you suddenly want me to get together with him.”

“I don’t,” Remus replied, hands moving to his pockets and Elías blinked, surprised. “But he makes you happy. I, personally, think he needs to grow a _lot_ before he even is deserving of breathing your way. Or anyone’s way, really. But – you know, it’s a crush and it’s cute and I like teasing you because your blush _so easily_.”

“I will _murder you_ ,” Elías narrowed his eyes at Remus but the man just threw his head back and laughed. He had been in such a good mood since Sunday that Elías couldn’t really complain, giggling a bit, shaking his head and shoving him just one more time. “Lupin, you’re asking for it.”

“What did he do _now_?”

Elías and Remus turned around and Severus cocked an eyebrow, making Remus snort and Elías freeze.

“Nothing!” Elías said, immediately shoving his hands over Remus’ mouth, the werewolf struggling to push them away. “Nothing, _nothing_!”

“ _Ghmmhm_!” Remus tried to say past Elías’ fingers.

“Nothing!” Elías insisted.

Severus sighed deeply, rubbing his temple as Remus licked Elías’ palm, making him shriek and pull back, trying to rub his saliva off on Remus’ jacket.

“I’m surrounded by _idiots_ ,” Severus murmured.

“Aw, don’t be like that!” Elías laughed, hands moving around his wrist, pulling him along. “Come on, tonight I finish my Amortentia –“

“Oh, you finish it tonight?” Remus asked, eyes wide.

“Kind of, maybe? Why don’t you come join us?” Elías asked and Severus made a noise of complaint, which Elías ignored. “It’ll just be a moment, it’s the last steps. If it's fermented enough, anyway”

“Sure,” Remus nodded, turning to Severus as they all began to walk to the dungeons. “So he’s going to start Advanced Potions II?”

“He passed Sixth Year,” Severus said dryly, glancing at Remus at his right, Elías on his left, the three professors getting stares as Remus dared to have a nice conversation with the potioneer. Elías looked around – he _loved_ their loose jaws, gaping at them. Let it be known that bad blood could be overcome. “So yes, now he’s headed for Seventh Year potions.”

“Congratulations,” Remus told Elías, grinning at him and Elías beamed back. “You must be so happy. I know you love potions.”

“I _love_ potions,” Elías breathed with passion, nudging Severus, the man scowling as Elías gave him the brightest smile. “And I’ve rekindled my love for it! Sev is indulging me, I’ll admit.”

“I’ve no doubts that he is,” Remus directed a little smirk at Severus, who glared back. “When will your Advanced Potions II tests begin?”

“After Easter,” Severus stated, pausing. “Unless you’re staying here for the holidays?”

“Ah, I’m afraid not,” Elías gave a small smile. “I’ve missed my family very much and we’ve got big plans in Cartagena.”

Severus’ face changed a bit into one of curiosity, “Cartagena? In Murcia?”

“Ah, yes,” Elías knew where this was going.

“There’s quite a bit potioneer community there.”

“I know,” Elías grinned. “I was actually thinking of passing by the Mercado de Arena. I’ve never actually gone there? But I could actually go now.”

“There’s a potioneer named Julio Alvarado,” Severus explained as they walked down the stairs to the fourth floor, his eyes with a curious glint. “It was one of the options for a mentor, back when I was looking into an apprenticeship at seventeen. He did not choose me, he’s known for being quite picky, but if you see him –“

“Alvarado,” Elías blinked. “You mean from the –“

“Yes, the Alvarado House,” Severus nodded. “The inventors of the timeturner.”

“Wow,” Elías breathed, eyes wide. “I – I didn’t know it was Spanish?”

“It is,” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him, amused. “British Magical History?”

“Imperial Britain,” Elías nodded and Severus snorted. “What?” 

“With the ah… _abilities_ you possess,” he began, the three of them reaching the ground floor, headed to the dungeons. “I would’ve thought you’d look more into Time Magic.”

“It’s Dark Arts,” Remus cut in, frowning. “Dangerous and unreliable. Not much is written about it and, what is, is hidden in the Restricted Section.”

“I was _never_ allowed into the Restricted Section,” Elías pointed out.

“With good reason, since your record with returning books was _absurd_ ,” Severus snapped at Elías, who gave an embarrassed laugh.

“I… forgot about a few of them,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“And again, Dark Arts,” Remus repeated, frowning deeply. “Not to be trifled with.”

“Bitch, I _am_ Dark Arts, then,” Elías told him, making Remus splutter as they descended into Severus’ classroom, opening the door wide for the three of them to walk in. Elías didn’t know if he was upset about the bitch or the Dark Arts part. “Like – Remus, c’mon, you _teach it_. You know perfectly that Time Magic may be chaotic and very widely unknown, but it’s not _oooh, Dark Maaagiiic_.”

“It’s considered Dark Magic,” Remus said, a bit miffed. “It’s _egregious_.”

“So is the tweed you wear,” Severus said, face straight, turning to Remus. “But do you see me complaining?”

Elías _froze_ as Remus’ jaw dropped, Severus calmly walking to his desk and humming as he looked over at some letter that had arrived. But Elías was starting to laugh, incredulous, hand clapped over his mouth as he began to _lose it_ , Remus’ face a mask of surprise and embarrassment, looking down at his jacket with a bit of a frown.

“Oh m-my _God-ds_ ,” Elías was wheezing, doubling over, slapping a hand against a desk so he wouldn’t fall over. “ _Oh my Gods!_ ”

“Did you –” Remus stuttered a bit, turning to Severus. “Did you just _burn_ me?”

“No, I just said what’s on everybody’s mind, Lupin,” he replied.

“You dress like a _bat_ , you can’t say –“

“I will. And I have. You’re in my classroom, Lupin,” Severus cocked an eyebrow as Elías kept laughing, face red, sounding like a seagull having a seizure. “The Dark Arts are something that has been categorized by a corrupt and elitist government meant to keep everyone in check, including you – werewolves _are_ in the curriculum, are they now?”

“It’s a curse, of course they are,” Remus frowned.

“And so is how to detect them,” Severus returned as Elías wiped away some tears from his face, trying to gain his breath back. “Now, imagine if they had also chosen people like Elías.”

“Oh, you mean the whole _how to detect trans people_? Yeah, that’s so fucked up,” Elías sat on Severus’ desk just to be annoying, the potions professor glaring a bit at him but Elías just leaned back a bit. “Remus, it’s fucked up.”

“I… don’t think it is. Could be dangerous,” Remus murmured.

“No,” Elías and Severus chorused, Elías looking at the other with surprise, Remus too.

“It’s only dangerous once a month. Twice on a blue moon,” Severus said dryly. “You _are_ dangerous as a werewolf, Lupin. As a person?” he looked the man over, making him flush with embarrassment. “Not so much.”

“Alright, alright, enough with that,” Elías scolded him. “The tweed thing was funny. Now you’re just insulting him.”

“I’m still just telling the truth,” Severus shrugged, opening a letter.

“I’m actually nothing impressive,” Remus admitted and Elías took a piece of parchment and bonked him over the head with it, making Remus laugh. “Eli –“

“You two stop it, that’s my best friend,” he huffed, making Remus smile softly. “In any case – you and I, Remus? We’re considered creatures of the Dark Arts. Entities with a type of magic that others do not understand. Not all Dark Arts are inherently _bad_. Necromancy is very evidently a horrid practice that belongs within the _bad_ tab of it. But Time Magic? Really? Shouldn’t it just be called Unpredictable Magic and that’s it?” he rolled his eyes a bit.

“Time Magic is considered _evil_ because messing with time continuum has _awful_ consequences,” Remus said, very seriously. “The Timeturner is a piece of equipment that had worked only under serendipitous circumstances.”

“Belarmino Alvarado knew what he was doing,” Severus interrupted, frowning, dropping the letter on his desk to talk fully to Remus. “Penicillin was serendipitous but we can all agree that it wasn’t _only_ the result of a coincidence.”

“The Sands of Time are _volatile_ ,” Remus pressed, looking a bit desperate trying to convince the other two professors. “You could _disappear_. Or everyone could forget you. Or you could travel back in time and _never_ be able to come back.”

“I agree, but it does not mean that we shouldn’t study it, or discuss it,” Elías frowned. “That’s a very slippery slope into willful ignorance. It leads to grave mistakes, Remus, and it stops people from advancing. Time Magic could house a lot of groundbreaking magic for – for anything, really!”

“Healing magic would definitely benefit,” Severus pointed out. “But in any case, the Sands of Time are limited.”

Elías paused, turning to him, “Wait, are they?”

Remus nodded, “Yes. Nobody’s ever found the Nexus Harenae.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so confused,” Elías frowned. “The _what_?”

Severus frowned, watching Elías, “You _truly_ did not look into Time Magic? At all?”

“I told you, I never got to enter the Restricted Section,” Elías explained, sighing deeply, looking annoyed. “No teacher would ever let me.”

“None?” Severus stood, looking at Elías with a strange look. “What do you mean none of them? Truly? Not even Flitwick?”

“Nope,” Elías shook his head. “And like, anything timey? Like – you know how in Third Year I was the best of my class?”

“Yes,” Severus nodded, Remus leaning into the desk to listen in.

“Well, Flitwick suggested a Timeturner –“

“No, that was me,” Severus cut in, making Elías freeze, turning to Severus with wide eyes. “It was me. But Dumbledore refused.”

“Yeah, he did,” Elías murmured, blinking. “He was so adamant about it.”

"Yes… he was,” Severus whispered, cogs turning, looking thoughtful. “You’ve never touched a Timeturner. Seen one?”

“No,” Elías shook his head.

“Perhaps –“ Remus began, making the two turn to him. “It reacts badly with Seers?”

“Never heard of such a thing,” Severus hummed, hand on his chin, eyes narrowed. “But then again… Time Magic is rarely spoken of. I’d have to investigate such a thing.”

“Do you think a Timeturner would go nuts if I touched it or what?” Elías laughed. “I’m a _Seer_ , not a – fucking child of the time sands, guys. It’s not gonna do anything weird. Dumbledore probably just knew it’d be a waste on me.”

“But does Dumbledore ever do anything because it’d be a waste of time?” Severus asked Elías and Remus nodded, looking serious. “I think he knows something.”

“Do… I mean, I –“ Elías felt like an _idiot_ , watching Remus and Severus, swallowing hard. “Of course he does. Of course he _lied_. Gods, I’m so _stupid_.”

“No, you’re not, he’s just that good,” Severus pursed his lips before moving in front of Elías, hand extended. “Could I see your wand?”

“My wand?” Elías blinked.

“Yes. It’s Spanish, is it not?” he asked.

“…it is,” Elías nodded, pulling it out from his sleeve, handing it gently to Severus.

While on Sirius’ hand it’d looked a bit silly and misplaced, Severus’ fingers wielded it correctly. Perhaps it was about size – Elías had a very long wand, good for potions, for alchemy, for astronomy and divination, and Severus’ wand was almost the same length.

“It doesn’t really respond well with other p –“

As Elías tried to warn Severus, he flicked it and his desk, right under Elías, gave a groan and _shattered_ , making Elías fall right down to the floor between wide splinters, Severus quickly reaching to grab his arm and pull him out of danger. Elías stumbled into Severus’ side, heart in his throat and Severus looked at the wand, eyes wide.

“Thestral hair?” he asked dryly.

“Yeah,” Elías breathed.

“Highly volatile,” he pursed his lips, handing the wand back to Elías, who swallowed as he took it. “Which describes your magic.”

“My _magic_?” Elías asked, feeling a part of himself be a little hurt from that, hand tight on the vinewood. “I – I can use other wands!”

“Can you?” Severus asked.

"Yes! My sister’s wand!” he replied, feeling defensive. “My magic isn’t volatile –“

“What core is your sister’s wand?” Severus asked.

“Sand and glass,” Elías replied and Remus blinked hard.

“Excuse me, _what_?” Remus stepped over to face Elías. 

“Common practice in the South of Spain,” Elías replied, frowning at Remus. “Sand from Cádiz has a lot of magical properties, it’s one of the oldest cities in Europe,” he explained. “The sand from the bay of Cádiz is extracted and turned to glass, but only the outside. They’re hard wands that are extremely precise and made for people –“

“Who are born leaders,” Severus finished. “Salazar Slytherin had a glass core wand. But of course, he was also -”

“He was also Spanish,” Elías nodded. “Makes sense, he was from San Fernando, too.”

“La Isla de León,” Severus cocked his head. “I didn’t know it was called San Fernando now.”

“It’s my home,” Elías said. “And very, _very_ muggle. You've only seen my house but I only know of a couple witches and wizards living there. It’s just – very much muggle now.”

“No trace of Slytherin there?” Severus asked, surprised.

“No, but there’s traces of Lutero Salazar,” Elías replied. “Before he changed his name –“

“That’s all very nice,” Remus cut in, making Elías and Severus turn back to him. “But can you tell me what it means for you to have volatile magic?”

“My magic is _not_ volatile,” Elías defended, glaring, making Remus look away.

“Perhaps not,” Severus said, appeasing, moving a bit between Remus and Elías. “Perhaps what we call volatile is… simply unpredictable.”

“Unpredictable,” Elías huffed, eyebrows raising. “Chaotic.”

“Maybe we just don’t understand it,” Remus put in, waving his own wand to restore the desk back to how it was. Elías didn’t sit on it again. “Maybe there’s a perfectly good reason why your wand reacted the way it did.”

“But my wand isn’t my _magic_. It’s just a _tool_ ,” Elías said, irritated, looking down at his wand with gritted teeth. “Fucking hell, my magic is _fine_.”

“Is that why you _black out_ whenever you have a big Sight?” Severus asked and Elías wanted to punch him in his smug fucking face in that moment, shooting daggers at him with his eyes. “Elías, you’ve admit that there’s something wrong –“

“There is _nothing_ wrong with my magic. It works _fine_! It’s just the stupid – the stupid fucking Seer thing! The thing I didn’t even want in the first place!” Elías snapped.

“Eli,” Remus said softly, hand moving to his shoulder and Elías whipped around, ready to throw fucking _hands_ with anyone who said again that his magic wasn’t _right_. “Eli, it’s alright. I don’t think there’s anything _wrong_ with it.”

“Damn right,” he nodded, arms crossing and Severus pursed his lips.

“What we think,” Remus continued, gesturing at Severus and himself. “Is that maybe there’s a part of your magic that we don’t understand fully.”

“Quite so,” Severus sighed. “You seem to be attuned to Divination magic, right?”

“Yeah, _duh_ ,” Elías lifted his wand. “I couldn’t get the right wand in three days. Had to get some runed wand to finally do it. I thought I’d been duped and Dumbledore had been wrong in his letter. And Madame Maximé. And – well, also Director Cevedo.”

“You needed runes?” Severus frowned, stepped forward and gently reaching for Elías’ wrist, the Spaniard allowing it only because he wanted answers, letting him raise Elías’ wand up from his own hand to look at the runes. “Divination runes. Of course.”

“So his magic stems from Divination,” Remus stated.

“Possibly,” Severus hummed. “It’s quite rare to see such an attunement.”

“Is it?” Elías asked, frowning. “There are people attuned to Transfiguration magic–“

“Yes, but metamorphmagi are much more common than seers,” Severus hummed, eyes running over the wood, thoughtful. “Same as Herb Magic – Pomona is attuned. And we believe so is Longbottom, which is why he’s not a disaster at it.”

“Don’t be mean,” Elías chided but Severus simply continued.

“Seer aren’t necessarily harmonized with Divination magic,” he explained. “But a lot of times, if they are, their prophecies are something to behold. Morgana Le Fay was attuned to Divination. But she hasn’t been spoken of as… someone who blacked out from those.”

“It’s because he’s holding them back,” Remus said.

“No, I – sometimes I _do_ just black out, even if I haven’t been holding them for a while,” Elías said quietly.

“Seers also tend to _not_ remember their prophecies when in trance,” Severus said, finally releasing his hand. “Which leads me to believe something I’d suspected for a while.”

“What?” Elías asked, dreading the answer, looking at Severus as he watched Elías with those intense black eyes.

“That you, Elías,” Severus said, arms crossing. “Are not a Seer.”

Elías watched Severus for a moment, words dying in his throat, thinking that he’d been ready for just about anything that came from the potioneer but definitely not expecting _that_. And neither had Remus, apparently, because he was just as stunned as Elías. The Spaniard tried to make sense of it, tried to think but he came up blank, swallowing, watching Severus.

“That’s – that’s _ridiculous_ ,” Elías giggled nervously, hand pulling back his own hair from his eyes, feelings his fingers twitch on his wand. “What – what _else_ could it be?”

“I don’t know,” Severus replied, shrugging. “But you do not behave like a Seer. Your abilities are not like other Seers. The only common factor you have is that you may see the future. And not even in the same way. You’ve uttered no prophecy, you have remembered painfully every single Sight you’ve had and you’ve also Seen the past. Your eyes go white. You may spend an hour or a day within a Sight. You’re not a Seer. You’re something else.”

“This isn’t comforting at all, Sev,” Elías rasped, hands shaking.

“I’m sorry,” Severus said and Elías could see that he somewhat meant it, reaching over to grasp Elías’ shoulder. “I could be wrong. My experience with Seers have all been in the United Kingdom and Germany. Perhaps the Mediterranean Sea –“

“But I’m not from the Mediterranean Sea,” Elías cut in. “I’m from the Atlantic Ocean, the same as – fucking hell, maybe there’s different kinds of Seers!”

“There could be,” Severus nodded but he didn’t look convinced and Elías made a sound of frustration, hands running through his hair, pulling at it. “Elías –“

“Every time,” he choked, eyes burning. “Every _time_ that I think I’ve got something down, every time that I believe I’ve got a hold of this, every single fucking _time_ , there’s just _anything_ to tell me that I’m _wrong_.”

“You knew nothing in the first place,” Severus said, frowning.

“Fuck, I know!” Elías wanted to punch a wall, frustration in his every limb. “Fuck, fuck, _FUCK!_ ” he paced down the classroom, trying to calm down. “So I’m not a Seer. Great. Amazing. Something else to _fucking_ figure out.”

“I didn’t mean to frustrate you,” Severus tried, leaning against a column and Remus frowned with worry, watching Elías pace rapidly.

“I hate this,” he groaned, hands slowly turning to fists. “Why can’t I just be fucking _normal?!_ I wouldn’t have to worry about fainting, about people who have nothing to do with me! About – about things that could or couldn’t happen! It’s not even fucking _precise_!” he turned to Remus and Severus, snarling a bit, eyes wild. “Is it my _wand_?!”

“No,” Severus easily replied. “It’s your magic. Or you, perhaps.”

“So I’m a mutation or something,” Elías said, voice dripping with disdain. “I’m a fucking defect or something, right? Why couldn’t I just be like my _fucking_ sister?”

“Hey,” Remus cut in, approaching Elías, hand moving to grasp his fist gently, eyes soft. “None of that. _None_ of that, Eli.”

“She’s normal, why can’t I be normal?” Elías asked, eyes burning. “Gods, Remus –“

“I know,” Remus sighed, looking over at him before pulling Elías into a hug, Elías’ muscles going limp, eyes closing, holding Remus back tightly. “I’m so sorry, Eli. This… I can’t really understand what you’re going through but I get that it’s hard. And frustrating. And unfair. What we can do is some research –“

“If Dumbledore has anything on it, he’s probably taken it away from my reach,” Elías murmured, sighing. “Gods. Fuck. _Fuck me_.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus repeated, rubbing his back and Elías forced himself not to cry. “I’ll still look into it, if you’d like me to.”

“Only if you’re not busy,” Elías whispered.

“In Murcia,” Severus began, approaching the two of them, Elías pulling back with red eyes but no tears. “Look for the Library of Estefanía. She’ll be able to help you search for… less desirable tomes to the public.”

“Whoa, whoa, _wait_ ,” Remus began, making Severus sigh deeply. “Is that a Dark –“

“Yes,” Severus replied, irritated. “We’re all Dark wizards who got put into Slytherin because we’re evil and we love evil magic, Lupin, are you done now?”

“I just want him to be _safe_ ,” Remus replied.

“He’s an _adult_ ,” Severus snapped, waving at Elías. “Stop acting like you’re his father!”

Remus drew back as if slapped and Elías felt a spike of gratefulness, looking at Severus with wide eyes. He hadn’t expected something like that to come from Severus but – well, he was grateful anyway, swallowing as he saw the guilty expression on Remus’ face.

“If you give me directions, I’ll go,” Elías told Severus.

“I’ll write them down,” Severus nodded.

“Or –“ Remus began, making the two Slytherins glance at him. “You _could_ go with him.”

“That’s also an option,” Elías nodded, turning to Severus. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

"I… wouldn’t,” Severus replied slowly, looking like he was holding something back. Elías rubbed his face, already exhausted from the conversation. His heart wasn’t calming down anytime soon, either. “It’s much easier to find it if I go with you.”

“Great. My parents will love you,” Elías said sarcastically, making Remus let out a surprised, breathy laugh but Severus winced hard, making Elías blanch. “Sorry, that was – mean.”

“I know I’m not the paramount of happiness that you are,” Severus replied, rolling his eyes. “It’s _fine_.”

“Very well,” Elías sighed. “I will… try to look in the Restricted Section, anyway,” he waved his hand and rubbed his temple. “I… I really should’ve look more into this, you know, guys, but… going back to the muggle world…”

He trailed off, frowning, feeling a bit of sadness.

“It was easier,” he murmured. “Forgetting all the things that made me upset. The Fawleys, Dumbledore’s inaction, my failure in potions, my awful attempts at friendship, how alienated I felt from wizarding society… it was better to just… _go back_ , you know?”

“I don’t,” Severus replied, serious. “But I do know most muggleborns do leave. And never look back at all. Over sixty percent, if I’m not wrong.”

"Over eighty,” Elías replied and Remus looked so absolutely boggled by that, eyes wide. “It’s just – it’s just _better_. I’m white, guys, I’d never seen so much _vitriol_. Because being gay or trans, you can hide it? And maybe being muggleborn too, but _shit_ , some people are just – they see my muggle clothes and go _apeshit_. Everyone knew I was muggleborn. I was locked in toilet stalls, I was dumped ice cold water in the morning, it was _horrible_.”

“I didn’t know that was happening,” Severus said quietly.

“Even if you had known, you wouldn’t have cared,” Elías threw, a bit petty but he felt it was the truth. Severus didn’t even try to deny, though he looked ashamed. “Anyway, it’s better to go back and just do magic at home, when you do remember that you’ve magic.”

“And… don’t you miss it?” Remus asked quietly. “Wizarding towns? Streets? People?”

“Which ones, Remus?” Elías asked, tiredly. “I had _no one_.”

Remus fell into silence, rolling his lips, looking at Elías with pity, the Spaniard looking away with a sigh.

“It’s alienating. It’s disgusting,” he whispered. “Worst of all was – was bringing notebooks and pens and anything muggle that was of use. I didn’t want to use a quill, it’s _annoying_. Pens are better, _notebooks are better than parchment_. But everyone would – they would find them, throw them to the lake.”

“Fuck, Eli,” Remus whispered, horrified.

“You’d threw my bag into the lake,” Severus snapped at him, Remus’ shoulders raising to hide himself a bit. “Don’t you _dare_ look like that.”

“You what?” Elías whispered, eyes wide, his stomach sinking to his feet as he looked at his friend, swallowing. “You _what_?”

“I know,” Remus whispered. “I – don’t have an excuse. I have nothing.”

“Then say nothing,” Severus snapped, looking angry.

“Stop it,” Elías sighed, hand over his face. “Gods, just – I’m so tired. I’m _so_ tired of this. I can’t believe none of you thought of why muggleborns go back to the fucking muggle cities. You were a fascist puppet and you were a Gryffindor bully. You both were fucking shitty people that still need to unlearn a lot of things. We have settled this already. I have settled that I had a shit fucking time at Hogwarts. Can we talk now about – what we can do to learn about my magic?”

“Cartagena,” Severus spoke, breaking through the tension, giving Elías something to lean on instead of overthinking about Remus and whom he’d been in his youth. And Sirius, too. And James and Peter. “When do you want to –“

“In two weeks?” Elías asked. 

“Sounds good,” he nodded, making Elías nod back, sighing. “Elías –“

“What?” he asked, exhausted, not liking his tone already.

Severus kept quiet for a moment and Elías _hated it_. He hated those thoughtful silences, the ones Remus and Severus used to think about how best to approach the subject. They were torturous, filled with anxiety-ridden thoughts for Elías.

“What?” Elías repeated, this time quieter, more subdued, turning to Severus.

“I’m sorry,” he said, finally, making Elías laugh bitterly. “I didn’t mean –“

“Don’t be sorry, you meant well,” Elías murmured, shaking his head. “You’re right. As much as I don’t want you to be. Ignoring the truth won’t do anything – if I’m indeed not a Seer, then it means we’ve been looking at this wrong the whole time. And maybe the way to control… whatever it is that I have, is to look into what I _am_ exactly.”

"I only have one question,” Remus spoke up, making Elías and Severus turn to him, Remus looking like he’d had a revelation that was horrifying. “Elías, you haven’t told any prophecies.”

"Yes,” Elías nodded.

“But if Seers do not remember their own prophecies,” Remus whispered, making Elías’ muscles lock, eyes wide. “…how do you know you haven’t?”

* * *

“Slow down on the wine,” Severus told him as Elías diced the tomatoes in Spinner’s End, the storm outside rattling the windows, music coming from Severus’ gramophone instead of Elías because the Spaniard was too rattled to even play music. He’d also downed two glasses of white wine already and he was thinking they’d need to pull a second bottle before the Hungarian goulash was ready. “You’ll get drunk. And you've class tonight."

“That’s the point,” Elías said miserably, finishing up the tomatoes and moving on to the potatoes whilst Severus added the beef to the pot. Vera Lynn was playing and it wasn’t helping Elías relax at all. “I want to desperately forget today ever happened. I don’t want to think about _anything_ related to my magic or my Sight or _any of the sort_.”

“Ignoring it won’t help,” Severus told him. “You can’t get drunk every time you realize things are more complicated than you thought.”

“Oh, no? _Watch me_.”

Severus turned to Elías, frustrated, taking the glass of wine off his hand and slamming his hands on the table on each side of Elías’ hips, caging him, making Elías suddenly remember the way he’d woken up this day, flushing hard. Severus had a very serious problem with pinning Elías to places. Maybe he should tell the potioneer.

“Do _not_ ,” Severus hissed. “That’s a slippery slope into alcoholism.”

“I’m sorry, I was joking,” Elías said softly, shame crawling up his spine. Severus had mentioned that his father had been a violent drunk and Elías felt insensitive, now. Careless.

“Good,” Severus sighed, looking at Elías with a deep frown. “Elías, you can’t –“ he made a noise of frustration, pulling back a bit, letting Elías breathe. “I thought cooking would relax you. Calm you down a bit.”

“I’m _very_ out of my mind,” Elías laughed a bit hysterically, raising his hands, showing just how shaky they were. “I’m out of my godsdamn _mind_ with anxiety.”

“You’ve… anxiety too?” Severus frowned.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Elías said.

“But – but you’re –“ Severus let out a loud sigh. “You’re _very_ social.”

“Anxiety isn’t just _social_ anxiety,” Elías explained, swallowing. “It can be just… you know. Overthinking, intrusive worrying, restlessness, fatigue, difficulty with focusing on something… you name it.”

“So you’ve both bipolarity and anxiety?” Severus asked quietly.

“And probably some form of ADHD, if I’m honest,” Elías shrugged. “But – yeah. Illnesses can overlap, Sev. It happens.”

“I didn’t know you had anxiety,” Severus murmured. “I thought you were just…”

“…insecure?” Elías cocked an eyebrow and Severus nodded. “No, yeah, that too. If you think Remus’ self-esteem is bad, you should try living in my head for like, one day.”

“That’s not funny,” Severus told him as Elías laughed a bit.

“I’m sorry, I use humor to try and – cope,” he explained softly.

“I see,” Severus whispered, watching him for a moment before he fell quiet. Again, another of those terrible silences. Elías didn’t want to look him in the eye, not when he knew the man could read him so well. “I…” Severus began but his jaw clicked shut for a moment. Then – “I booked an appointment.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Elías asked, taken off guard. “An appointment for what?”

“…therapy,” Severus scowled and Elías’ face went from confusion and exhaustion to pure happiness in a split second, throwing his arms around Severus’ neck and hugging him tightly, making the man freeze.

“Sev!” Elías gasped, eyes wide, hands tight on the back of his tunic. “Oh my Gods! Really?!”

“Y-yes,” the potioneer stuttered a bit, hands unmoving from the table.

“That’s amazing! That’s so good! I’m so glad!” he laughed, eyes burning a bit as he pulled away, watching Severus with a grin. “Oh my Gods! I – I’m so happy for you! Where – is your therapist wizarding? Is it provided –“

“Private,” he cleared his throat a bit, not looking at Elías, staring at his shoulder instead. “Her name is Dr Ahuja.”

“What made you finally go?” Elías asked, curious, and Severus paused. “It’s – it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

“No, I –“ Severus sighed, head dropping back a bit, looking at his ceiling. “A friend of mine… he needs to go, as well. I… I promised him that if he did, so would I.”

“Oh,” Elías murmured, smiling. “That’s an _amazing_ thing to do. I am _so proud of you_ , Sev, I’m – oh, Gods, I really am.”

“….thank you,” Severus whispered, making a face of discomfort. “Can – I want to drop this conversation now.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, hands also dropping from his shoulders. “Check the beef.”

“S _hit_ –“

Severus rushed to the pot, salvaging the beef as Elías went back to the potatoes, music being the only sound between them for a little while. It’d cheered him up a bit, distracted him, the news about therapy. Elías never thought he’d actually do it on his own but he _had_. And he’d done it for someone else, too. Selflessly. Elías glanced over at Severus, smiling a bit to himself. It was good for him. It’d do him a _lot_ of good.

“You’re staring,” Severus said dryly.

“Staring proudly,” Elías chuckled before turning his gaze back to the potatoes. “I should get an appointment as well, now that I think about it. Haven’t gone in a long time.”

"Do you… go to therapy often?” Severus asked.

“Well,” Elías sighed. “When things get heavy… yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“And – and were you ashamed? At first?” Severus asked.

“No,” Elías confessed. “I mean – first time I went was after my parents found out I was self-harming. That caused a stir and they immediately got me into therapy. So I _was_ ashamed of my actions and why I was there, but not of being there, you know?”

Severus said nothing and Elías glanced at him to find his jaw tight, saying nothing.

“Eventually, it did help. But that first psychologist was a mess,” Elías laughed. “Honestly, it’s a bit of hit and miss. If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, do say so. You can always find someone who will work better with you.”

“Thank you,” Severus murmured. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“And tell your friend, too,” Elías added. “Some therapists can be dicks.”

Severus nodded jerkily, still looking uncomfortable and Elías decided to not speak any further on it, giving Severus the broth when he reached out a hand, wordless. They’d started to have a bit of a coordinated dance in the kitchen and Elías would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the fuck out of that.

“When did you first go?” Severus asked, breaking the silence once again as the two settled on the couch, waiting for the timer to go off, glass of wine back in their hands.

“Er… sixteen? Seventeen?” Elías frowned. “I think sixteen. Yeah, sixteen.”

“Back in Hogwarts,” Severus murmured. “And you… went for how long?”

“Ever since, actually,” Elías shrugged. “But I’ve got a really nice therapist now. He’s a squib, Spanish, back in Madrid, actually. I always get some coffee with my cousin Jaime after that, see some friends we have in common. Sometimes go to the cinema. I find that to be some sort of positive reinforcement, you know? Plus, therapy sessions can be depressing and draining. Being with someone, getting together with some friends? It can help a lot.”

Severus stared at his wine, thoughtful, face sour.

“My mother never went to therapy,” he said quietly and Elías paused, watching him. “Only – they only took her to psychiatrists.”

“Not everything can be solved with pills,” Elías murmured. “They help – they _do_ , truly, modern medicine does _wonders_ and a lot of times, mental illnesses can be greatly curbed by a balance of chemicals in your brain. But other times –“

“Other times you need to be heard,” Severus sighed, putting his glass away, leaning into the back of the couch to rub his temples. “Merlin, what am I doing?”

"You’re working to get better,” Elías nudged his foot. “It’s commendable.”

“And what if they tell me I’m bipolar, as well?” Severus asked.

“Then you talk to a psychiatrist, you keep going to your therapist, you adjust and adapt and you work with what you’ve got,” Elías replied easily, shrugging, making Severus turn the him. The Englishman looked shameful and Elías knew there was a bias against therapy in the wizarding world but _Gods_ , this was bad. “There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, Sev.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” he chuckled mirthlessly, shaking his head. “I’m taking advice from you. I’m taking advice from _you_ , who never tells anyone whenever he feels shitty.”

“Hey, I _do_ ,” Elías frowned, finishing his wine and putting his glass away. No more for him tonight.

“You _barely_ do, and only when it’s inevitable,” Severus threw at him.

“I’m trying to do better,” Elías defended. “I told Remus about how I felt when he fucked up, you know? I did what you said.”

“Because that’s the _right thing_ ,” Severus sighed deeply. “You couldn’t – you shouldn’t let people trample over you just because you’ve feelings for them.”

“This is about you, not me,” Elías tried to redirect the conversation, uncomfortable. “Don’t make this about me.”

“You never ask for help,” Severus whispered, eyes on Elías. “It’s as if it physically pained you.”

“It does,” Elías confessed. “And you’re the same.”

“I am,” Severus admitted, nodding. “I don’t like being dependent of others.”

“And I hate being a bother to others,” Elías replied. “But – well, we need help sometimes.”

Severus groaned, hand running through his thick black hair, jaw locked tight.

“Why do you hate to depend on others?” Elías asked him, throwing it all out the window.

“Because I hate feeling like I don’t have control of the situation. Because everybody has something they want,” Severus replied. “ _Everybody_. Including you, too, paragon of samaritanism that you are.”

"I’m not a good Samaritan,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “It’s not even altruism. I help others because otherwise I feel like shit.”

“That’s still altruism,” Severus shrugged. “Why do you hate bothering others?”

“Because I’ve been a bother to absolutely everyone my entire life,” Elías said, the words bitter on his tongue and Severus shifted, looking at him with a frown. “Don’t give me that look, Sev.”

“You still think so,” Severus murmured. 

“You still hate being out of control,” Elías told him and Severus nodded curtly. “Gods, we’re _so_ fucked, aren’t we?”

“Who isn’t?” Severus snorted. “Slytherin’s a _mess_.”

“You didn’t help much,” Elías told him, tone hard.

“No, I didn’t,” Severus admitted, nodding, giving a small sigh. “I… am trying to change.”

“I heard from the Seventh Years that you moved that exam date,” Elías smiled a bit, making Severus reach for his wine immediately. “that was nice of you.”

“I’m not _nice_ –“

“That was _nice_ of you,” Elías repeated, laughing, Severus giving an eyeroll. “Being kind isn’t a crime, Severus. I get that you’ve built an unbreakable persona of spikes and poisoned words but having children love you is the least of your problems.”

"Children love professors like Lupin or you,” Severus scowled. “Soft and _attentive_. I don’t want them to come to me with problems they should fix at home.”

“They’re kids, Sev,” Elías replied softly. “Far away from home, from their parents. A lot of them for the first time. They need some gentle hands to help them get to the other side of the road. We shape the way they think, they’re _so young_.”

“Life is unfair, coddling them won’t do anything,” Severus told him.

“I’m not coddling them,” Elías defended. “I’m harsh when I need to be. And I punish when I need to, as well. But they’re also _my_ kids. I’ve been watching them grow for a year. I love them all,” he told Severus and the potioneer frowned at Elías.

“Do you truly?” he asked, smirking a bit but it disappeared when Elías nodded firmly, completely serious. “Elías –“

“I love every single one of them. The rowdy ones, the lazy ones, the ones who don’t have aptitude for Astronomy or magic, even. I love the muggleborns and the half-bloods and the purebloods. I love all of them. My little ducklings,” he laughed a bit, feeling his chest tighten. “They’re the future of wizarding society, Severus. And I hope I can teach them tolerance, respect, critical thinking and a little bit of love.”

“Love,” Severus repeated, exasperated. “You sound like Dumbledore.”

“Well, it’s the only thing we’ve ever agreed on,” Elías shrugged.

“What?” Severus’ eyebrows shot up.

"I believe,” Elías told Severus, honest to the bone, smiling softly at him. “That of all the magic in this world – time, blood, onumency, necromancy, divination, evocation, transfiguration, astronomical, zoological… all of them? Love, Severus, is the strongest of them all. Both magic –“ he nudged his foot, grinning a bit. “- and just normal love.”

“Truly?” Severus snorted a bit. “Why?”

“Because love is selfless, kind, patient and _powerful_. More than anyone truly realizes,” Elías told him. “We weave it into everything. And it shapes us. It’s only normal it shapes our magic, too. The way love can change a patronus.”

“I… see,” Severus actually seemed to, nodding slowly.

“Your patronus is Lily’s, isn’t it?” Elías guessed and Severus sighed deeply, eyes closing.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Hmm,” Elías nodded, smiling a bit. “Yeah, I’d guessed. What is it?”

“A doe,” he murmured.

“Is the memory you use one with her?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever used another?”

“…no.”

“Maybe that memory shapes it,” Elías sighed a bit, thinking. “I think that’s why my patronus isn’t a cat, like my animagus is.”

“What’s your patronus?” Severus frowned.

“You’re going to kill me,” Elías laughed, making Severus look horrified. “It’s a lion.”

“ _No_ ,” he looked disgusted. “No, it _isn’t_.”

“I think it’s my father,” Elías told him, grinning. “I – I think it’s cause I use normally a memory of my dad.”

"Do you?” Severus seemed surprised. “May… I ask what it is?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded. “It’s a fairly recent one, actually. Just last year, back in Belgium. It has a bit of a story, are you ready for it?”

“Go for it,” Severus waved a hand. 

"Alright, so –“ Elías laughed a bit. “So when I was a kid, I was very prone to accidents, yeah? I used to fall a lot and hurt myself a lot because I was kind of a wild kid.”

“I can tell,” Severus said, looking amused.

“Oh, _shut up,_ ” Elías laughed, kicking at his foot. “Thing is, because of that, I cried a whole lot. Because I was always getting hurt! My dad, whenever he was around - due to being in the navy - would always hold me and try and calm me down but he never got me to stop sniffling until my mom came, you know? Like – sometimes I was just inconsolable. And it’s because I fell down _hard_ , Sev, like – broken bones all the time. I always had a cast in my arm or leg as a kid.”

“I saw the photographs,” Severus nodded and Elías could see a hint of a smile, almost.

“So - so this one time I had a really bad fall and a really bad scrape, I was bleeding all over the place. I don't remember when it was, can't remember my age, but I remember that my dad came over with these wide eyes, holding a gauze over my knee, and I was crying _so_ hard that he thought I’d pass out. So he told me that if I laughed about falling instead of crying, I wouldn't feel the pain so much,” Elías smiled a bit, eyes closing, remembering the park, the concrete part where he’d fallen, the dress his mother had chosen so carefully ruined with dirt and blood and leaves, his father’s face, back when his hair had color. “I've no idea what clicked in my brain but it was so instantaneous. So I… laughed. And you know what?”

He opened his eyes, looking at Severus, watching the fascination on his face.

“What?” Severus asked.

“It didn’t hurt,” Elías murmured. “And from then on, whenever I fell, whenever I got hurt… I just laughed. It’s an instinct. I stub my toe? I’m laughing. I hurt my funny bone on the elbow? I’m already giggling.”

“You do laugh when you get hurt,” Severus whispered, as if realizing it.

“I still do it to this day, yeah,” Elías grinned. “It just… stuck with me. And my happy memory is – it’s last year, when I was at my parents’ house in Brussels. It was night and it was really hard and I was going to the bathroom and didn’t notice that my dad was inside. So I was about to open the door when _wham!_ Door to the face! I fell down on the floor and my nose hurt _so bad_ ,” Elías laughed loudly. “My dad was so worried! He tried to help me up but I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t, you know? Tears in my eyes!”

Severus gave a genuine smile at that – a small one. But Elías could see it.

“My dad was like, _why the hell are you laughing?! Are you okay?!_ And I – I realized that my dad didn’t remember? So I told him, _dad, you told me to laugh_ ,” Elías felt his throat close up a little bit, eyes burning. “And he… looked very moved. I think I helped him remember. He… my dad doesn’t get tender, he makes fun of me when I get weepy but – but he got kind of weepy too, you know?” Elías paused, looking down at his lap. “My father means a lot to me.”

“You talk of him very fondly,” Severus told him gently. “Must be a great man.”

“I only wish I was half the man he is,” Elías muttered, sighing a bit. “He gets exasperated with me a lot. I’ve terrible habits – forget to do the dishes, don’t like to make my bed in the mornings, I don’t go out a lot… but he understands me in a way that my mom and sister doesn’t, you know? With – with how I want to be. What kind of man I want to be.”

“And what kind of man do you want to be?” Severus asked, watching Elías intensely and Elías felt his body deflate a little, breath catching, unable to lie to Severus and say something like, _a real man_ or _someone everyone admires._

“A good man,” Elías croaked, eyes shining, looking down at his lap. “Just… a good man, Severus. S’all I want.”

“If so,” Severus muttered, shifting on the couch and when Elías looked up, he was much closer, reaching for a few strands of Elías’ long hair that had escaped the messy braid he’d tied it with before they’d began to cook. Severus’ fingers were gentle as he pushed them behind his ear and Elías swallowed hard. “then I think you’re on the right path.”

“I hope so,” he whispered.

“I know so,” Severus promised, hand tilting Elías’ chin up. “I _know_ so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOIN UUUUS IN https://discord.gg/fBzhrEg


	47. Pinewood, Pewter and Pomegranate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't upload yesterday but 2020 keeps having a shit track record and a very dear friend of mine, Manchitas the cat, died yesterday. I loved that cat with all my heart and he will be missed, old man that he was, pink peets that he had, afraid of fans and too fond of mortadela. May he rest in peace.
> 
> Here comes a long and domestic chapter that's a bit of a balm for me right now, guys. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Trigger warnings:  
> \- Mention of sexual abuse (very mild)  
> \- Mention of death (Lily's)

Elías awoke on Wednesday morning with a kink on his neck, four hours of sleep and a sort of determination he hadn’t had in a while. He showered, dressed and walked into the Hogwarts library, checking with Madame Pince for a moment before entering the Restricted Section, where he found exactly _two_ books on time magic – _Inter Arena_ by Herpo the Foul and _Of Time Magic: Cause and Effect_ by anonymous. The first was falling apart and Pince gave him an intense stare as he checked them out, promising her seventeen times that’d he’d care for these books the way he took care of the very children of Hogwarts.

Yet the moment he opened _Inter Arena_ he let out a breath, eyes wide, cursing into the back of his hand. It was in _Latin_. Shit, fuck, he hadn’t done Latin books in so long. It was bound to be a long process and he thought for a moment about starting with _Of Time Magic_ but quickly put that thought away – it was best to start translating now.

So he went to his office, up at the top of the Astronomy Tower, and put down the two tomes, sighing deeply, rubbing his nose. He’d stopped at his rooms on his way up to grab the Latin dictionary he had kept among the shelves and sighed as he sat down, pulling out a brand new notebook, some spare paper and a mechanical pencil. He’d need the latter to keep his notes clean.

At the very least, the day was nice. Light streamed into his office at the very peak of the Astronomy Tower, the tilted windows allowing Elías some sun on his face, despite it being a little bit colder than he liked. He tilted his head back for a moment, eyes closing, enjoying the dripping dregs of sunshine before he sighed, opened his notebook and _Inter Arena_ and began to work on it.

That Wednesday was dedicated to getting the hang of the language back, trying to remember and filling page after page with what he thought made sense, nibbling on his lower lip to the point of it hurting. It didn’t help that the book was as foul as the author, starting with the ways one could exploit time magic if they so desired. He put examples of everything he could think of, all the vile abuse he could perfect and Elías only pushed through it just to see the introduction end.

He didn’t finish it – at all – but he did feel like he was a bit further along than when he’d first began by the time his after lunch class filled up his classroom. That was also when he realized he’d missed lunch and he hoped, he _honestly hoped_ that Severus hadn’t been at the Great Hall at lunch. If he had been, Elías was going to get a scolding that night.

His three classes went by in a breeze, mostly because they were all low level, and Elías would’ve spent the rest of the night translating if it were not for Severus, indeed, who walked up the stairs into his office with a glance at the single candle lit on his desk.

“You’ll strain your eyes like that,” Severus told him and Elías startled a bit, jumping on his seat before looking up at the potioneer, blinking hard. “How long have you been here?”

“I’ve _no idea_ ,” Elías confessed, blowing out a breath, eyes wide. “Shit, it’s night already? Did I miss my midnight class?”

“No, I came here to get you for dinner,” he cocked an eyebrow, glancing down at the tome he was working on, the Latin dictionary, the notes written on muggle paper with a muggle pencil. “I see you’ve made use of your access to the Restricted Section now. Was this all you could find?”

“Yeah,” Elías sighed. “ _Inter Arena_ and _Of Time Magic_.”

Severus’ upper lip curled with disgust, glancing at the Latin book with a knowing look, “This is probably the reason you skipped lunch.”

“It’s disgusting,” Elías sighed, pushing the candle a bit further and rubbing his face. “And worst of all is that my Latin is so rusty that I’m going at a tortoise pace.”

“If you’d like,” Severus began, making Elías look up at him as the potioneer leaned into the desk, looking over Elías’ notes. “I could read it again. Pass you some notes.”

“Oh, no, nobody should be made to read this,” Elías told him, guilt in his stomach. “I – you’re probably much better at the language than I am but – I’ll be fine, Sev.” 

“Are you sure?” Severus asked, dryly, looking over at Elías.

“Yeah, it’s alright,” Elías nodded, hand reaching to touch his, making Severus’ eye twitch but Elías patted it gently. “Ah, shall we go? I’m quite – hungry now.”

“Yes,” he cleared his throat, moving back, Elías standing from his chair and stretching hard, back cracking, making him grunt. His braid was a mess and he pulled the tie off it, raking through his hair as the two walked down the stairs of the Astronomy tower, Severus frowning a bit at him. “…can’t you use a comb?” he asked, very obviously miffed.

“I don’t have one on me right now,” Elías replied, laughing a bit at his annoyance.

“You’ll rub sweat and ink all over it,” Severus told him, jaw tight.

“I –“ Elías blinked at him. “It’s _fine_ , Severus. My hair isn’t that delicate.”

“If you want to have such long hair then you should take care of it,” Severus scolded and Elías squawked a bit, gripping his hair to his chest, offended.

“I take _care_ of it!” he spluttered.

“Not with those _filthy_ fingers,” Severus rolled his eyes, the two professors walking through the classroom towards the stairs, Elías flushing as he looked at the ends of his hair. It was soft and healthy and taken care of. Did it look unkept? Did he look messy?

“I didn’t know it looked bad,” Elías mumbled and Severus grunted.

“It doesn’t,” he sighed, looking over at him. “You just – you _can’t_ use your fingers to comb it so carelessly. You’ll ruin it.”

“Maybe _your_ hair is delicate. Mine isn’t!” Elías retorted, a bit petty. Severus’ hair was completely different from Elías’ – thick and black and beautifully shiny. It’d been growing little by little over the school year and it reached a bit past his shoulders now. Elías wondered if he did it because of his mother’s roots.

Severus gave Elías a look that told him to cut the bullshit and Elías groaned a bit, “You’ve been seeing me bleach and dye and cut and buzz away my hair for years, Sev, why does it matter to you now?”

“Because it’s the first time in a long time that you’ve let it be this… _natural_ ,” he explained, irritated as they reached Elías’ rooms, the Spaniard pushing the door open, rolling his eyes. “I know you do not care about the treatment of your hair at all, if you _bleach it_ –“

“I still take care of it,” Elías replied. “My hair is still healthy, even after bleaching it!”

“If you used dye potions, you wouldn’t have to in the first place –“

“It’s a _ritual_ , Sev, it helps me clear my head!”

“The fumes, for sure.”

“Hey!” Elías laughed, turning to Severus as he held some floo powder into his hand, shaking his head. “Listen, I’ve no idea how to dye my hair with dye potions. And maybe I don’t know how to take care of my hair the wizarding way. But I’ll let you know that I _do_ feel like the way I have it now is lovely and I’m careful with it. I comb it and I put it in a braid –“

“Too tight,” Severus told him and Elías blinked, going quiet. At that, Severus rolled his eyes a bit and shoved Elías gently into the chimney. “Go. I’ll explain there.”

“Fine,” Elías huffed, “ _El Rompido!_ ”

Elías walked into his home, sighing happily at the heat he found, wand waving to cast all windows and the door to the backyard open and just as Severus appeared from the chimney. “I didn’t really get many groceries this morning,” Elías sighed, thinking hard while he walked to the pantry, looking into it. “We could go for something simple tonight. How about prawn orecchiette with roasted shell olive oil?”

“If you’ve parsley and prawns, I don’t see why not,” Severus hummed, taking off his outer tunic, gently folding it over the back of a chair before walking into the kitchen with ease. He’d been here enough to know the ropes by now. “Shells and heads on the pan first?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded, pulling back his sleeves, starting to play Frank Sinatra as he pulled out the shrimp from the freezer, unfreezing them with a simple wave of his wand. If anything, _this_ was the reason why magic existed. “Leave the tails.”

“Very well,” Severus nodded, making space on the kitchen island by pushing the bowl of figs away – Elías had gotten those on Monday, practically given away by his neighbor and he couldn’t wait to have some tonight. “So as I was saying –“

“About my hair,” Elías chuckled a bit, now taking it with humor as he put the bowl of shrimp on the island and Severus pursed his lips when he saw Elías start washing his hands.

“Just – can’t you just _take care_ of what you put in it?” he growled a bit, moving by the sink as well and washing his hands. “A comb? Don’t you have a comb here?”

“Fine! Alright, this is _very_ obviously personal to you and I don’t get it? But _fine_ ,” Elías rolled his eyes, drying his hands and moving to his bathroom to grab his hair brush, walking back down the stairs as he brushed his long hair. “There! See?”

“That’s _plastic_ ,” Severus grunted as he saw it. “Don’t you – don’t you have a _bone_ comb?”

“I’m Spanish _and_ muggleborn, Sev, plastic works just fine,” Elías frowned a bit. “Does it really bother you that much?”

“As much as British cooking bothers you,” Severus said, sighing deeply.

“Oh shit,” Elías paused. “Alright so it’s – cultural, right?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Severus approached him, taking the comb with distaste, looking over the bristles.

“Remus told me about it, briefly,” Elías said, pulling his long hair over his shoulder, frowning at it. “How pureblood families hold importance in this and stuff.”

“ _And stuff_ ,” Severus laughed dryly, shaking his head. “Do you know why?”

“Not really,” Elías shrugged.

“Hair is capable of holding magic,” Severus explained and Elías nodded, giving him his full attention. “In ancient times, it was believed that hair was the source of your magic. Wizards and witches would take care of it with oils and scents, leading to a variety of traditions within wizarding culture. Such as never cutting your beard when you turn a hundred.”

“Is that why Dumbledore’s is so long?” Elías’ eyebrows shot up.

“Very much so,” Severus nodded, glaring at his hairbrush. “Different materials for combs would be used – bone, wood, stone, eventually metals as well. Within wizarding society, the way you present your hair is the way you present your magic, the way you present yourself as a _wizard_. If it’s kept, taken care of and evidently worked on, then people will take you as a wizard of good repute. Wearing your hair completely loose is a sign of purity, of freedom and availableness. Certain braids indicate an incoming marriage. Certain hairstyles are used for the day of your wedding, or a birth, a funeral, etcetera.”

“Wow,” Elías blinked. “I had _no idea_.”

“Obviously,” Severus snorted, glancing at him. “You braid your hair like a Vestal.”

Elías flushed, hand over his face, “Oh, _no_ , noooo… do I?”

“No, I just wanted payback for frustrating me,” Severus smirked and Elías gasped, shoving at him, the two laughing as Elías slapped his shoulder.

“Sev! You’re a dick!” he laughed into his shoulder.

“I jest, I jest,” he cleared his throat a bit. “But ah… wearing it loose often… offers a message. And unless you want suitors, perhaps you should make a habit of tying it back.”

“Oh, shit,” Elías blinked. “Like – like Lucius does?”

“Lu – _no_ ,” Severus spluttered, eyes wide. “He wears a married man’s _hair_.”

“Okay, alright, _geez_ , I don’t know any of this! Stop treating it like it’s obvious!” Elías said, embarrassed, taking the brush from his hands and running it through his hair. “Like what, then?”

“A _proper braid_ ,” Severus sighed, hands moving to Elías’ shoulders, directing him to turn around and Elías did, giving Severus his back and, before he knew it, he felt the gentle tug on his scalp. “You wear them too loose. That’s why your hair is always on the way.”

“I only just began to wear this hairstyle,” Elías mumbled, clutching the plastic of the handle tight, feeling like this was _indecent_ somehow, blush high on his cheeks. “I feel a bit like a fool.”

“You’re weaving a thread into traditional wizard society yet you haven’t looked into it at all,” Severus told him, clicking his tongue with frustration. “Truly, Elías, with the amount you read –“

“I didn’t –“ Elías paused, swallowing. “I tried to. Once. When I was a kid. And there was a lot of vitriol about how superior purebloods were compared to lowly muggleborns and muggles. So forgive me for not reading a thousand page book on pureblood society."

Severus went quiet, working in silence and Elías stared at the window to his garden, realizing that the roses had dried overnight. Growing roses in Cádiz was an absolute pain in the ass. He only wished he had the green thumb Narcissa seemed to possess.

“I’m sorry,” Severus spoke up and Elías sighed a bit, looking down at his hands.

“It’s fine, Sev. Just… you gotta understand, I – I’ve only lived in wizarding society for like, seven years?” he shrugged a bit. “I wasn’t planning to go back at all, you know? Not until… well, the Carrow incident.”

“Right,” Severus muttered. “You… helped in Alecto’s arrest.”

“I broke her jaw,” Elías deadpanned and Severus hummed.

“Amycus must’ve loved that,” he said dryly.

“He threw a killing curse at me so – yeah. Not a fan of me,” Elías replied quietly. “They’re both in Azkaban now but… I know they’ll get out. I’ve Seen them out. I’ve Seen them outside _a lot_. It’s going to happen.”

“Dumbledore told me of your safety deal,” Severus nodded. “Being in England for most of the year, being appointed a professor at Hogwarts publicly – they can’t do anything with that. It’d attract too much attention.”

“One of the reasons I accepted the job,” Elías nodded.

“And the others?” Severus asked, pulling out something from his sleeve but Elías couldn’t see.

“I like working with children,” Elías shrugged. “I’m good with them.”

“You are,” Severus admitted, hands moving off his hair. “It’s done.”

“Oh! Thank you,” Elías said, walking over to the nearest mirror by the entrance and blinking as he brought to braid over his shoulder. “Holy shit, Sev, that’s the most perfect braid I’ve ever s – is this silk?” he touched the tied bow, a vivid forest green with golden stitches.

“Silk is best for hair, yes,” Severus cocked an eyebrow, leaning into the archway that led from the hallway to the living room. “You may keep that one. I’ve got others.”

“I – but –“ Elías was a bit speechless, belly warm, turning around to smile at Severus softly. “Thank you. It’s a lovely color.”

“It is,” he murmured. “My favorite.”

“I like all colors,” Elías told him, then paused. “Well, not all, I’ll admit. There are some _horrible_ shades of yellow out there. But I like all greens. And I wear it plenty.”

“I can tell,” Severus chuckled a bit. “You wore it on your hair, after all.”

“I did,” Elías smiled, gently touching the braid, looking at the artful way every strand was placed, biting his lower lip, thinking of precision and balancing ingredients and those damn hands of his; Elías’ weakness in Severus. “Thank you, in any case, Sev. It’s good work.”

“Mmm. You’re welcome,” he replied lightly, moving back to the kitchen, Elías following after him so they could start working on the prawns.

 _My Way_ began to play next, Elías singing under his breath, rapidly working on the shrimps with expertise. He found that for the first time, he was faster than Severus and he grinned a bit – all those Spanish Christmas dinners had served a purpose other than to make his belt tighter, after all.

“Let me get the pan started,” Elías told him while Severus finished peeling and cutting, moving to the stove just as Severus spoke up.

“Have you found anything yet about time magic?” he asked.

“Not really, just – the awful things you could do if you could control it,” Elías mumbled, wincing. “Says a lot about Herpo the Foul, huh?”

“He was the first to breed a basilisk and the first to split his soul,” Severus told him dryly. “Don’t know if he was a genius or a fool. In any case, he was cruel to a fault.”

“I should’ve started with the other book,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face as he dropped a good dollop of olive oil on his favorite pan, letting it heat up. “I’ll just do that when I get back.”

“ _Of Time Magic_ is a bit… fanatical,” Severus explained to him, making Elías nod slowly as he finished with the shrimp and moved to wash his hands of brine, drying them as he walked over to stand by the stove as well. “Talks in detail about _Atlantis_ , of all places, so it’d do you well to focus on the first and lasts chapters.”

“Atlantis?” Elías blinked. “What does Atlantis have to do with time magic?”

“Well,” Severus sighed. “The Nexus Harenae is theorized to have been within Atlantis.”

“Nexus Harenae, you’ve mentioned it before,” Elías murmured, taking the heads of the shrimp and the shells and dropping them onto the pan. “Is that the source of – like what? The sands of time?”

“Pretty much,” Severus pulled out a pot, filling it with water and setting it on the stove before setting it boiling with a wave of his wand, dropping gently the oriechiette on it, enough for two. “Time magic was not considered part of the Dark Arts in Ancient Greece and they were the pioneers of it. We know the Nexus Harenae existed because we’ve evidence of the sands of time – which is where all the timeturners that the British Ministry of Magic has come into play.”

“They stole it,” Elías murmured, eyes narrowed. “From the Egyptians, mostly, I’m guessing.”

“Mhmm,” Severus nodded. “The sands of time have been found mostly in the Mediterranean, so it only led to wizarding historians further pushing the Atlantis narrative.”

“But – but where –“ Elías frowned. “What _are_ the sands of time?”

“Sand embued with time magic,” Severus replied, calmly and patiently. “It’s only natural that they’re the one element that holds it well – erosion is the prime example of time and what it can do. Sand, thus, can hold magic well.”

“I didn’t think of that,” Elías said softly, moving the shells and heads around the oil, letting it soak.

“The Nexus Harenae was, supposedly, a school dedicated to the study of time magic,” Severus explained, checking in on the pasta. “All the fundamentals of time magic were found there and it was thoroughly interwoven into… _Atlantean culture_ ,” he rolled his eyes a bit. “Some say it was this tampering hubris that led to the ah, _Gods_ sinking the city.”

“They’d do that,” Elías nodded, shrugging, and Severus glanced over at him.

“You believe in Gods?” he asked, surprised.

“Yep,” Elías nodded, tapping his wing earring on his left ear. “Morpheus is my patron within my spiritual craft.”

“Ah, muggle witchcraft. I see,” Severus looked a bit amused. “The muggles who wanted to be wizards and couldn’t.”

“Say that again and you won’t be allowed again into my home,” Elías told him, dead seriously, turning to glare at Severus, who seemed stunned. “Do not take disrespect my craft, my beliefs and my heritage in the same phrase, Severus. It’s fucking _rude_. And purist.”

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking away. “I didn’t mean –“

“You did,” Elías interrupted. “Don’t lie to me. You think witchcraft is absurd because muggles can’t do magic – well, fuck you. It’s a spiritual purpose and a system of beliefs that have guarded people’s hearts and mind for a long time. So like – fuck off, yeah?” he frowned.

Severus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “I didn’t want to offend you.”

“No, you wanted to make fun of muggles and hoped that I would just suddenly forget that I’m a muggleborn and most of my godsdamn family is muggle, right?” Elías deadpanned, making Severus wince. “You feel bad now, don’t you?”

“…yes,” Severus confessed.

“ _Good_. Stew on it,” Elías pulled out the shells and heads, discarding them as Severus worked to get the pasta out of the pot with a strainer on the sink. “Maybe that will teach you to stop making fun of muggles.”

“How can you believe in Gods?” Severus asked, suddenly, making Elías roll his eyes.

“I believe in a lot of shit that other people don’t,” he shrugged. “And I just _do_. I don’t need to over analyze the world around me. If you believe in shit, good for you. If you’re an atheist, good for you, like – who am I to try and understand the human psyche? Plenty of wizards are religious.”

“No, we’re not,” Severus frowned.

“What do you call your little cult, then?” Elías raised his eyebrows and Severus’ jaw clicked shut. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Alright,” Severus sighed deeply, rolling his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m an idiot.”

“You are,” Elías nodded, smirking at him before reaching up to pat his cheek the way Narcissa did, making the potioneer scowl. “But you’re slowly learning. That’s good. I think I want you to have lunch with my family when you come to Murcia.”

“ _What_ ,” he snapped, eyes wide, looking horrified.

“I think it’d do you good!” Elías told him, throwing him a head of garlic, Severus catching it before peeling two cloves, starting to mince them. “You know, meet muggles! People related to me that you can actually enjoy.”

“You’re throwing me into the pit,” Severus told him, incredulous. “How – how _many_ are in your family?”

“To Cartagena are coming just a few,” Elías waved his hand. “Plus, you’ve seen my parents before. Don’t think you _met_ them but you’ve seen them, right?”

“Graduation,” he mumbled, sighing deeply. “I… do I have an option to say no?”

“Nope!” Elías grinned. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“Sure it will be,” Severus muttered, thinking it’d be just the opposite as he took the minced cloves and put them on the hot pan, Elías throwing down some chili as well before putting the pasta and peeled shrimps in, humming. “This is revenge.”

“Yep,” Elías nodded, grinning. “For that muggle comment. Though it’s not just to torture you, I promise. It’s mostly to make you see that they’re not savages,” Elías paused. “My little cousins might prove that wrong, though – just _ignore_ my sister, Luis and Emilio and it’ll all go fine.”

“Are they as… rowdy as you?” Severus asked, looking slightly amused.

“Severus, I’m _tame_ in my family,” Elías replied, making him grunt. “If you think I’m way too happy and way too loud, wait until you get to know the rest.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Severus told him sarcastically, then went quiet. “Aren’t you afraid of what they’ll say?”

“Mmm? Whom?” Elías asked, turning to him.

“Your _family_ ,” Severus said, frustrated, as if the answer was obvious and Elías blinked. “About _me_. And about you. And about – you being friends with someone like me.”

“I’ve had weirder friends,” Elías replied. “And I _am_ the weirdo of the family. Along with my cousin Jaime, like – Sev. Sev, _honey_ ,” he laughed, patting his chest, Severus looking at Elías strangely. “Trust me, if they say shit, I won’t care at all. Let them lay down in bed with their judgmental thoughts, I’ll sleep just fine. You’re my colleague, my friend and someone I admire greatly within the field of potions. So if they wanna talk shit about the way you and I look, then maybe they should try and brew _Felix Felicis_ , hmm?”

Severus was quiet, not replying to that and Elías finished up their dinner, pointing at the cabinets so Severus would set up the table with a wave of his wand, the both of them working in silence except for the sound of Billie Holiday in the background.

It was when they were finally sitting down at the table, cracking open a bottle of rosé that Severus finally spoke, serving Elías an appropriate amount.

“… I’m sorry,” Severus said, without gritting his teeth or looking annoyed or getting the words out as if they were a disgusting taste in his mouth. He meant it. “I know I’ve a lot to… unlearn, if you will, about muggles.”

“Yes, you do. But that’s why I’m inviting you to meet my family,” Elías replied, taking a healthy sip of his glass. “So that whenever you think of muggles, you’ll think of them instead of those silly little cartoons you purebloods have built in your head.”

“I’m not a pureblood,” Severus immediately said.

“Arguable – your mother was,” Elías shrugged.

“I’ll never be a pureblood in the eyes of wizarding society, though,” Severus pointed out, taking a bite of dinner before he paused. “This is really good.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Elías grinned.

“Mhmm,” Severus looked down at his meal, then at the gardens for a moment, the palm trees and succulents spread around, looking pensive. “It used to bother me.”

“What?” Elías asked, surprised. “Not being pureblood?

“Yes,” Severus admitted. “that I had – to share blood with _him_.”

“Your father,” Elías murmured. “I… I’m sorry, Severus. Fathers are supposed to be protectors, nurturers. Not monsters.”

“I made my peace with what he did years ago,” Severus replied, pursing his lips. “It’s… alright now. Back when I was sixteen, I took a bit of pride in it, being a half-blood among all my pureblood peers. I believed myself especial. The exception. A prince that had risen from peasant.”

“Like the Tale of the Half-Blood Prince,” Elías whispered, smiling a bit.

“Yes,” Severus looked surprised, turning to Elías. “You know wizarding fairy tales?”

“I do enjoy reading a lot,” Elías replied, shrugging. “I was curious to see which stories were told to wizarding children. My favorite is probably The Warlock’s Hairy Heart, from the Tales of Beedle the Bard.”

Severus nodded, “It’s a somber one.”

“It is,” Elías hummed. “But it shows just how much one can be corrupted if they refuse to feel, to love. It has some beautiful imagery. And it reminds me not to distance myself from my loved ones.”

“Mine was The Half-Blood Prince, indeed,” Severus murmured, Elías listening as he ate, watching the wind ruffle Severus’ dark hair. “Rising above his station, proving everyone wrong. And –“ he paused. “Well, my mother was a Prince.”

“Oh,” Elías blinked, then gasped. “Oh my _Gods_ , you’re a _Prince_?”

Severus sent him an amused look, “Yes. I haven’t taken her last name because I’ve decided to clear mine. And make a name for myself. But yes, I am.”

“So you’re – oh my Gods, Sev,” he laughed, incredulous. “So you literally come from the only line of wizarding Monarchs in the history of – of _ever_.”

“Well, my mother was… disowned,” he began, bitterly, taking his glass with a sigh. “But she did, ah, place value in chivalry. And knighthood.”

“A literal English Prince at my table,” Elías laughed, shaking his head before pausing. “I mean, fuck the current monarchs of my country? Leeching money for doing _nothing_. But Alfonso X was pretty cool. And Monarchs aren’t _always_ bad. So I’m willing to leave aside my political views on theist absolutism and, you know, let you be.”

“I am not a _prince_ ,” Severus said, cocking an eyebrow at him. “It’s just my heritage.”

“I know,” Elías laughed, grinning at him. “But it _does_ make sense how you’re so…” he waved his hand. “You know.”

“No, what?” Severus looked so very entertained. “I’m what? Aloof?”

“ _Princely_ ,” Elías replied and Severus choked on his wine. “You do things as if you were a regency man! Jane Austen must be shaking in her grave!”

“I’m merely a product of the way I was _raised_ , Elías,” Severus told him, scowling a bit. “Not my problem that you muggles are so technologically advanced that you don’t even use your own language right.”

“Listen, slang is valid,” Elías glared playfully, pointing at him with his fork.

“Not in _every_ sentence,” Severus grunted.

“You’re classist,” Elías told him.

“No.”

“And pretentious.”

Severus paused, “Alright, yes.”

“Why _is_ wizarding society so behind, though?” Elías frowned. “The school could benefit a lot if it implemented more technology. I know it’s kind of hard to get a grasp of but honest, Sev, like – not everything can be solved with magic.”

“I know, but try to tell that to the Board of Directors,” Severus said dryly, making Elías sigh deeply, hand on his jaw as he chewed thoughtfully. “I personally don’t see the benefit of muggle technology but that is because I don’t know it. But I believe you.”

“You’ve been submerging me into wizarding society,” Elías smirked a bit, taking his own glass. “Maybe I should show you what it’s like to be in muggle society?”

“No,” Severus said firmly.

“Aw, come on, Sev!” Elías laughed, grinning at him. “Just once!”

“No,” he repeated but Elías pouted hard. “Do not make those eyes at me, Fernández –“

“Listen, just once – when you come to Cartagena!” Elías gasped. “We could – I could show you around! Come on!”

“I refuse,” Severus growled, glaring at Elías. “If I’ve to wear infernal muggle clothes, then I _refuse_.”

Elías blinked, hand moving over his mouth as he began to giggle, “Oh my Gods. Sev. _Sev –_ “

“Merciful Merlin, take me with you,” Severus groaned as Elías leaned on the table.

“Please, please, _please_ , I need to get you into jeans. Please. _Please_ ,” Elías gasped, eyes wide. “I have to, now. I have to show you.”

“I wore jeans for most of my life as a teenager, I _refuse_ ,” Severus snapped but Elías’ blue eyes were wide and shiny. “We’re going into a wizarding street in Cartagena, what’s the point?!”

“To make me happy?” Elías sent him a playful grin and Severus scoffed. “Oh, _pleeeease_? And – and I’ll let you dress me like a real wizard!”

“Why would I want to do that?” Severus frowned at Elías. “You don’t even dress like a muggle, you just dress like an _idiot_.”

Elías laughed, leaning back on his chair, now with a goal in mind. “Come on, Sev. _Sevvie_ –“ 

“Do _not_ ,” Severus narrowed his eyes at him.

“I’ll do _whatever you want_ ,” Elías told him and Severus paused, making Elías realized what he’d said. “Wait –“

“You said whatever I want,” Severus smirked, making Elías groan.

“Oh no,” he sighed, rubbing his face. “ _Fuck_.”

“I will keep that for later,” Severus told him and Elías frowned a bit, making him pause. “Nothing untoward, I promise. I… if it truly makes you uncomfortable, I will not make you do it, Elías. I know how important choice and integrity are to you.”

“Thank you,” Elías relaxed, sighing. “I’m sorry, too. If you don’t want to wear jeans –“

“I will,” Severus sighed deeply. “When in Rome…”

“But if it makes you feel bad –“

“Elías,” Severus told him, making the Spaniard look up. “Shut up. For the love of Salazar, shut up. I’ll wear the bloody jeans and… see your muggle Cartagena. But in return,” he finished up his glass of wine, giving him a firm look. “You must allow me to take you to the Semois Valley.”

Elías blinked, stunned, watching Severus with a slowly widening smile, “Les Ardennes?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “You know of the town?”

“The capital of potion making in Europe? _Yes_ ,” Elías said, excitedly. “It’s in Belgium!”

“I’m surprised you haven’t been there. It was a bit of a shot in the dark, I’ll admit,” Severus hummed. “Since you told me you’ve lived there.”

“Yeah, but – I don’t like going places alone,” he confessed. “And my sister is the only other witch that could’ve gone with me. And she didn’t _want to_.”

“Well, I need to go by Les Ardennes, as I am in need of quite a few tools that have become obsolete within my repertoire,” Severus explained. “If you’d like, this Easter, if you’re not… too busy. We could – we could go.”

“I’d love that,”’ Elías confessed, beaming at Severus. “That’s so lovely of you, Sev.”

“I took your love for potions away once,” Severus murmured, looking away. “I want to make up for it. That’s all.”

“You’re sweet,” Elías countered and enjoyed the _fuck_ out of making Severus flush a bit. “You’re bluuuushing!”

“Eat your dinner and shut up,” Severus scowled.

“You’re cute,” Elías dared to flirt, making Severus blush harder, trying to hide on his cup and Elías laughed loudly. “You get so flustered!”

“You’re _outrageous_ ,” Severus told him, glaring.

“Oh, for sure,” Elías nodded, smirking a bit. “But we’re frieeeends.”

“We unfortunately are,” Severus grunted.

“And you enjoy meee and my conversatioooon,” Elías sang.

“Now you’re bordering on insufferable.”

“Alright, I’ll stop.”

* * *

“You’re not coming to the shack?” Remus asked on Friday, blinking at Elías as he gathered his notes on _Of Time Magic_ in his rooms, having left a nice bag of Spanish sweets in his hands. “He’s been asking for you.”

Elías felt a pang of guilt immediately followed by the image of Sirius biting at his neck, making him flush a bit. “Sorry, there’s just – so much to do, you know?”

“Mmm,” Remus frowned, watching Elías with a bit of a sigh. “Maybe if you let me help you with that Latin book –“

“Oh, trust me, you don’t want to,” Elías promised, sighing. “It’s horrible. I’ve left it aside for now, and I’m just focusing on this one.”

“Maybe Sirius knows something?” Remus suggested. “He could’ve heard something.”

“Maybe,” Elías nodded, nibbling on his lower lip, sighing. “Listen, Remus, I just – I’m busy, you could ask him for me?”

“What’s going on?” Remus asked, approaching Elías, gently pulling away the notes from his hands, setting them on the coffee table and turning to the astronomy professor. “There’s something that’s making you not want to go. Did he do something?”

“No, _no_ ,” Elías rubbed his face, groaning. “No, Remus –“

“Did he _say_ something?” Remus looked like he knew well where this was going.

“No!” Elías assured him, hands moving to Remus’ wrists, gently squeezing. Remus sighed deeply, entwining their fingers together, frowning. “It’s – look, it’s _embarrassing_.”

Remus blinked, “What?”

“I… had a Sight,” Elías began, unable to believe that he was telling Remus this.

“A Sight. Of Sirius,” Remus guessed and Elías nodded, his face moving to hide on Remus’ chest, making the other wizard blink. “Of – of what? What did you See?”

“I saw him in – a compromising position,” Elías squeaked.

“Oh,” Remus murmured. Then he froze. “ _Oh_.”

“I can’t _face him_ ,” Elías groaned and Remus gave a laugh, making Elías slap his arm. “Don’t you fucking dare laugh at me!”

“It’s just a Sight, Elías! Listen, Sirius – Sirius was _promiscuous_.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Elías whimpered. “That was – it was _graphic_ , Remus!”

“Hasn’t this ever happened to you before?” Remus was giggling a bit. “I mean – Sirius won’t _care_. The man’s been everywhere, I’ve seen him and James naked more times than I can count.”

“You don’t _get it_ ,” Elías groaned. “It was in the _future_.”

“Oh,” Remus paused a bit, frowning. “Well, then it means it could happen, it – did…” he flushed. “Oh, uh – was it with… me?”

“No,” Elías blushed hard, pulling back, running a hand through his hair. “It was with _me_.”

Remus spluttered. “W-what?!”

“I _know_! It’s the bottom of the barrel!” Elías burst out, tired of keeping this secret, wanting to let it all out. “He’s a fucking _child_! Immature, annoying, too petulant, too pushy, and a godsdamn _Gryffindor_!”

“I’m a Gryffindor,” Remus frowned.

“No, but he’s – he’s everything I hate in a Gryffindor!” Elías told him, starting to pace. “I can’t fucking believe there’s even a _chance_ for me to – no, _nnnno!_ I’m not – I’m not _that_ desperate, am I?” Elías held his own face, eyes wide, staring at the wall. “But fuck, what if I become that desperate? Remus – _Remus_ , am I going to end up alone?”

“Elías –“ Remus began to laugh as Elías gave a whine.

“What if he’s the best option? Oh, Gods, oh _Gods_ ,” Elías turned to Remus, who looked way too giggly. “Remus, what if in the future I have sex with him because he’s the _only option_? Am I destined to be so fucking desperate that I fuck _Sirius_ , of all people?”

“Elías, your Sights are _possibilities_ ,” Remus laughed, hands moving to his shoulders, gently squeezing them. “If you don’t want to fuck Sirius, you don’t _have_ to fuck Sirius. You two barely know each other, alright? Plus, I don’t think he is any position to fuck _anyone_.”

“Right,” Elías said, embarrassed. “Right. Shit. I – Remus, I can’t face him.”

“Yes, you can,” Remus said softly. “It was just a stupid Sight. You couldn’t control it, you two can laugh it off and it’ll be _fine_. Sirius is _exactly_ the kind of person who won’t overthink that, Eli.”

“I’m _not_ telling him that I Saw we fucked,” Elías told Remus, dead serious.

“So you’re just going to keep that in until the day you die?” Remus asked, unimpressed.

“Yes, I _will_ die with this knowledge,” Elías stated, moving to get his notes. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve an Amortentia to finally finish and a stupid ass fucking _book_ to talk about with Severus. And no talking to Sirius about this!”

“I won’t,” Remus replied calmly, chuckling as he shook his head. “…was it at least nice?”

“ _Moony!_ ” Elías snapped, face burning, turning to glare at him. 

“What?! I’m just – look, if it doesn’t work out for Sirius and I –“

“Do not, oh my _Gods_ , do fucking _not_ start with me,” Elías told him, holding a finger to Remus, who was giggling into the back of his hand. “Oh, you’re loving this.”

“I’ll admit, I find it quite hilarious,” Remus laughed.

“Just – why Sirius?!” Elías burst, slamming his notebook on the coffee table. “The only thirty three year old man in the vicinity whom I haven’t got the hots for and my fucking Sight goes _we-he-hell! Let’s fucking go!_ Like, what the absolute _FUCK_?!” he shouted.

“So it would’ve been fine if it’s been Severus?” Remus guessed, eyebrows raising.

“Yes! At least there would’ve been a reason! I wouldn’t be able to look at the man in the eye, let’s be real, but fuck! At least there’s a reason for my fucked up bullshit powers to conjure that one up! Jesus!” he dropped on the couch, rubbing his face. “Oh, I’m so lonely.”

“Get a pet,” Remus teased, nudging his foot.

“Not funny,” Elías pouted at him.

“Well, you’re young,” Remus tried to encourage him, nudging his foot. “Can’t you just… go out? Get a date?”

“No, Remus, that could potentially get me killed if I don’t know that person,” Elías mumbled, making Remus wince. “Listen, it’s just complicated.”

“How about no strings attached? You look… like the kind of person who can do that,” Remus suggested and Elías blanched so hard that he nearly fell off the couch. “No?”

“I do _not_ do that,” he laughed hysterically, looking over at Remus. “Man, I’m a _virgin_.”

Remus froze, blinking hard at Elías, frowning for a moment. “I thought –“

“That first time was with Fawley,” Elías snorted. “And I’m not fucking counting that as sex at all. So no, Remus, I don’t do _no strings attached_. I’ve got trauma, mate.”

“Right,” Remus flushed a bit. “Sorry, that was stupid of me to ask –“

“No, no, it was fine,” Elías sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I mean, I already have issues with sex as a trans man, so like – just more on top, y’know. I would, gladly, fuck a stranger if I didn’t have it. So you’re kind of right. But it’s a bit of a mess.”

“Are you alright?” Remus asked, sitting down on the couch and Elías stared at him, not understanding. “You had a sexual Sight and – if it triggered you…”

“Oh. Oh! No, no, it didn’t – in my Sight, I was _fine_ with it,” Elías told him softly, hand moving to squeeze Remus’ hand. “It’s okay, Remus. What I feel when I’m experiencing a Sight is what the people in the Sight experience.”

“Good,” Remus said, quietly, looking worried. “I would really hate it for you to… fuck –“

“I’d like to fuck,” Elías laughed and Remus gave a loud laugh as well.

“You know what I mean,” Remus chuckled, hand moving to brush a bit of Elías’ carefully braided hair behind his ear. “I just want you to – not feel threatened. Or bad because of a Sight. You already suffer enough from those.”

“Thank you, Remus,” Elías told him, hand moving to squeeze his. “I… may go tonight to see Sirius, but I’m not too sure. Maybe – maybe on Sunday, alright?”

“Alright, I won’t make you,” Remus replied, sighing. “But he did ask for you, multiple times, you know?”

Elías felt a bit guilty, groaning, “Did he?”

“Yes, he’s a bit worried,” Remus smiled softly. “He likes you, even if you two aren’t always on the same wavelength.”

“I feel so bad now,” Elías groaned, leaning into Remus a bit, pouting. “The man’s trapped in that fucking house, Remus, like – I know he isn’t the perfect example of a saint but I _do_ feel bad for him and I do know that he has a heart.”

“I know,” Remus sighed a bit. “It’s just unfortunate that we haven’t caught Peter yet.”

“Have you been looking at the map?” Elías asked.

“Every day, whenever I can,” Remus nodded. “And nothing. No sign of him.”

“I’m sure he’s still on the grounds,” Elías told him. “Gut feeling.”

“Me too,” Remus murmured. “We just have to be patient.”

“Yeah,” Elías’ head dropped on his shoulder, sighing, watching the fire burn on the chimney. “Remus?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you,” he smiled a bit. “You actually helped.”

Remus chuckled, patting Elías’ knee, shaking his head. “No problem, Eli.”

“How did you come up with the names?” Elías asked, suddenly. “You know – Moony is obviously because of the moon. Is it all the animagi stuff?”

“Prongs because of the antlers. Padfoot because he’s a dog. And wormtail because Pettigrew’s a rat,” Remus said, amused as Elías nodded, seemingly understanding now. “Why?”

“I didn’t understand Prongs or Padfoot,” Elías laughed. “But I think that’s a language thing. What would my Marauder name be?” he grinned, turning to him.

“Oh, you’d have to ask Sirius,” Remus chuckled. “he was the one who made them.”

“I’ll ask, next time I see him,” he nodded before glancing down at his watch. “I should go. We’re starting with the first class soon and I really want to finish the Amortentia.”

“Alright, good luck,” Remus stood, helping Elías up. “You’re really taking this potions thing seriously. Do you think you’ll pursue it, after you’re done with Advanced Potions II?”

“What? Nah,” Elías waved it off, taking all his notes and the book, walking out of his rooms with Remus beside him as they descended the stairs. “I like potions, doesn’t mean I’m good at them. Or that I _could_ pursue it.”

“I haven’t seen you actually making them, so I won’t say anything, but I _have_ heard you talk with Severus,” Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “You can keep up with him, Eli.”

“I can but because I’m a _nerd_ ,” Elías laughed. “I’ve got so much to learn, still. And – and even if I had the skill, I didn’t actually _pass_ Advanced Potions, Moony. I just – Severus is unofficially doing it because it makes us both feel better about the shitstorm that were my two last years at Hogwarts.”

“It doesn’t count, then?” Remus asked, a bit sadly.

“Nope,” Elías sighed, giving him a lopsided little smile. “It’s alright…”

“Well, but – but if you _could_ ,” Remus pressed a bit, nudging his shoulder as the two exited the Astronomy Tower. “Would you? Pursue potions?”

“If I could,” Elías told him, cocking an eyebrow. “I’d already be a potions master, Lupin.”

* * *

“Hold it firmly.”

“My pulse is _shit_ –“

“Then perhaps you shouldn’t have drank that second cup of coffee after dinner –“

“I want to finish this _tonight_ , no way am I going to –“

“ _Firmly, Elías!_ ”

“I am!”

His Amortentia quivered in the golden cauldron as Elías transported it to Severus’ desk, the potions master quickly clearing the surface with his wand. It was a bit unstable but that was to be expected for the last night. It smelled of burned caramel and roses strongly and Elías needed only to add the last ingredient – a drop of mermaid song, gathered in a teardrop shaped garnet, which rattled within the little bottle in Severus’ hand.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Elías breathed, moving his hand to Severus and the other Slytherin dropped the vial in his hand, making the Spaniard breathe in sharply. “Last step.”

“For the love of Merlin, be _careful_ ,” Severus scolded and Elías cleverly pulled his wand out so he could get a single tiny garnet, grinning at Severus, who sighed with relief. “Alright. Go for it, then.”

Elías took in a deep breath as his index and thumb moved around the little gem, the sound of bubbling from the Amortentia and Nat King Cole singing _Unforgettable_ relaxing him enough to slowly extend his arm and drop the garnet. Instantly, the bubbling stopped and the white smoke turned a soft pastel pink, slowly drifting around the golden cauldron, the smell changing.

“That’s it,” Severus nodded, arms crossing. “You’ve successfully made Amortentia.”

“Oh,” Elías flushed a bit, hand over his cheek, getting a good whiff and _immediately_ thinking of Remus – he could recognize the notes of that deep parchment and ink smell that lingered around him, the one that stayed on his bedsheets, back when Elías had slept in his bed. And on top of that, the smell of Severus was _potent_.

Maybe it was because Severus himself was here, next to him, but Elías could smell the pewter of his most often used cauldrons, the harmonious notes of pinewood from his wand, the lovely little aftertaste of _pomegranate_. He hadn’t smelled that on him but somehow, he knew it was Severus’.

Elías felt his face burn, stepping back from the potion, hand over his nose and when he looked at Severus, he saw him frowning at the Amortentia as well, as if baffled.

“Is it wrong?” Elías asked, suddenly, startled at the look he had.

“Maybe,” Severus muttered, leaning over it and inhaling, frowning deeper. “I – that’s strange.”

“What?” Elías laughed a bit. “Did you get a crush on someone?”

“No,” Severus told him firmly. “It’s just… it doesn’t… smell as strong as last time.”

“Oh,” Elías blinked, watching the conflict on his face. “Oh, um… how… do you feel about that?”

“I don’t – I don’t _know_ ,” Severus murmured, leaning back, looking quite defeated. As if he’d been punched in the gut. Elías approached a bit, worried, seeing his hand raise to his face, rubbing it hard. “Does… this mean I’m… moving on?”

“It’d be nice, wouldn’t it?” Elías offered but Severus looked _hurt_.

“Will I lose her, then?” he asked Elías, finding his eyes. “Will I – will I lose this, then? Her smell, her voice, her eyes… the way she spoke? Her stupid horror pulp novels?”

“No!” Elías said firmly, finally moving forward into Severus’ space, gripping his hands tightly as Severus looked away, his eyes a bit shiny. “Severus, moving on doesn’t mean _forgetting_. Moving on means that you get to accept what happened and be at peace with it. No longer will it hurt, to think of her. Maybe – maybe hurt a little bit, yeah, but not the kind of pain that you experience now.”

“I don’t want to forget her,” Severus confessed.

“You don’t have to,” Elías promised him, squeezing his fingers, noticing how sweaty Severus’ hands were, the shake of them. “Sev, you shouldn’t have to forget your friend. No one is telling you to. Just because you’re moving on and your affections don’t run as deep doesn’t mean that you’re a bad man, a bad friend. It’s actually good. I’m sure that she would’ve liked you to have a peaceful life, even without her.”

“She hated me,” Severus told him, voice breaking and Elías swallowed. “How couldn’t she, Elías? I… I treated her like something that belonged to me, not like the friend she was. The more we speak of Lily, the… the more I realized how utterly _cruel_ I was.”

“It’s good that you’re realizing it, though,” Elías said softly. “When we’re kids… we make a lot of mistakes. I won’t excuse them, Severus, but I also understand that you regret them and that you are unlearning and making an effort to change yourself. That’s good. You’re doing good. And I’m sure that this is what she wanted you to do – become a better person.”

Severus sucked in a sharp breath and Elías watched his face, remembered the way Remus had spoken of Lily, how he’d smiled softly and explained to Harry all the wonderful things she was – stubborn, fiery as her hair, compassionate, altruistic, a fan of murder mysteries, charcoal drawing and disco music, someone to go to when you had a problem within yourself. And a friend. A very, very good friend.

“I miss her,” Severus whispered. “I wish she was here. I wish she could see me change. I wish I – I wish I had been able to apologize, let her know that I never… never thought she had mud in her veins.”

“I’m sorry, Sev,” Elías muttered, hands moving to his face, gently brushing with a thumb a stray tear. “I couldn’t possibly know what you’re going through. But I know she was a very loved woman who did a lot of good.”

“She did,” Severus closed his eyes, breathing in slowly before exhaling, leaning just a little into Elías’ hands. “Merlin. You two would’ve gotten along.”

“Would we?” Elías grinned and Severus gave a wet laugh, opening his eyes, watching Elías as he nodded. “Why do you think so?”

“Because she was infuriating and she loved to embarrass me,” he told Elías.

“It’s a good pastime,” Elías giggled, watching his face change a little, into something tender. Whenever they spoke of Lily, he looked like that. “I think we would’ve united forces to make you want to apparate away.” 

“Surely so,” Severus rolled his eyes, still smiling a bit and Elías realized that when he’s grasped Severus’ face, the potioneer’s hands had fallen on his waist, making him pause. “El –“

“Sorry, I just –“ Elías stepped back a bit, trying not to blush, looking over at the potion with a sigh. “Can… I throw it out?”

“You want to throw it out? Not even use them for classroom purposes?” Severus frowned at him.

“I _hate_ love potions,” Elías muttered. “So yes. I want it down the drain.”

“Very well,” Severus nodded, gripping the edge of the cauldron before tilting it, spilling it into the drain on the floor, Amortentia splashing on the floor – far from Elías, thankfully, and only lightly staining Severus’ desk. But that was fixable with a wave of Elías’ wand, nodding. “Alright. That’s done.”

“What a trip, that potion,” Elías sighed, leaning against one of the columns, shaking his head. “We started it _so long ago_. Remember the explosion?”

“I remember everything, Elías,” Severus reminded him.

“Right, yes, right,” Elías laughed. “How’s your arm?”

“Completely healed,” he shrugged. “Pomfrey gave me a good ointment. I wasn’t too bothered by it by the end of the first three days.”

“Right. Magic,” Elías muttered. “Did it leave a scar?”

“No,” Severus finished cleaning his golden cauldron and moved it to the cauldron closet, closing the doors after he was one and turning to Elías. “Do you still feel guilty?”

“Yes,” Elías confessed quietly.

“Of course you do,” Severus sighed, walking towards him, hand moving to unbutton his left sleeve and the intense stare, the smell of Amortentia and the way he approached Elías made his innards _burn_ with sudden want, Elías’ throat clogging. Severus wasn’t allowed to look this good, _fuck_ , especially not with Julie London playing.

Severus stopped a few inches from him, finally finishing with his sleeve and pulling it, along with his undershirt, back, showing his pale forearm to Elías, the edge of the skull barely visible to the Spaniard. Slowly, Elías reached for the place where his arm had been badly cut, barely brushing his skin with the tips of his fingers. To his surprise, he saw goosebumps but he ignored it, if only to be polite to Severus. The man surely didn’t have his arm touched much, was all.

“Looks fine,” Elías muttered, trying to turn his arm but Severus cleared his throat. “I just… want to look at it.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Severus told him, serious, and Elías dropped his hands at his sides, Severus quickly pushing his shirtsleeve back down and buttoning his tunic. “I do not like… you being near it. Much less touching it.”

“Why?” Elías asked, frowning.

“I already told you,” Severus looked over at Elías. “It’s very dark magic – _real_ dark magic, not – government regulated Dark Arts.”

“Do you think it’s contagious?” Elías asked sarcastically, eyebrows raising.

“I don’t know how corrupting it is,” Severus pressed, not looking happy at all, forgoing the lightness Elías was trying to inject into the conversation and turning fully to the astronomy professor. “You don’t understand it.”

“I don’t,” Elías confessed, sighing. “I just – hiding it won’t help.”

“It should be hidden,” Severus whispered, sighing. “It’s hideous.”

“I… won’t lie, it is,” Elías told him slowly, wincing. “It’s pretty much a _fuck you_ to me but er… I mean, you don’t have to _hide it_ with me, you know? Like – when we’re cooking? You should roll up your sleeves. I know you get stains in them more often than not.”

“I don’t want you to see it every time you look my way,” Severus told him firmly.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Elías sighed. “But okay. I get it. I’m sorry for being pushy, I just… don’t want you to do stuff just to not make me uncomfortable.”

“Elías, that’s basic decency,” Severus reached over to Elías’ ear and pulled it gently, making him whine. “Of course I will try not to make you uncomfortable. You’re my friend.”

Elías smiled a bit at that, “Oh, I like hearing you say that. We’re friends!”

“You’re _such_ a cat,” Severus rolled his eyes, making Elías laugh. “It’s getting late. Why don’t you head to bed early? It’d do you good, if you want us to go to market.”

Elías blinked, “We are?”

“Well, you want to cook dinner, don’t you?” Severus cocked an eyebrow. “If you’re doing it at Spinner’s End, it’s best to go to market.”

“Right,” Elías flushed. “So after lunch, we leave?”

“After lunch,” he nodded. “Let me accompany you to your rooms.”

“Oh, you don’t have to –“

“Elías,” Severus gave him a look and Elías laughed a bit, shaking his head.

“Alright, Half-Blood Prince,” he smirked and Severus grunted as the two left the dungeons behind, climbing up to the first floor.

“I shouldn’t have told you about that,” Severus glared a bit but Elías just beamed at him. “Dangerous little creature, you are.”

“I’m not _little_ ,” Elías huffed and Severus snorted, making him flush. “You’re just obscenely tall! It’s not fair!”

“I’m only 1’96,” he replied and Elías flapped his hands, incredulous.

“That’s so tall! That’s absurd!” Elías told him, spluttering. “I’m 1’62! This is bullshit!”

“Shouldn’t have been born so short, then,” Severus shrugged and Elías almost tackled him, the potions professor smirking as Elías fumed. “Take a look at it this way – it’s easier for me to carry you when you split your head open on stone columns or down some stairs.”

“Listen, you tall _fuck_ ,” Elías whispered, wiggling his index at Severus as he kept smirking. “Do not patronize me. I’m the perfect size to steal your stupid kneecaps.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Severus said dryly and Elías hipchecked him, making Severus’ step stutter a bit, throwing an incredulous look at Elías, who laughed. “Don’t be a _child_.”

“You’re the one challenging me,” Elías responded. “Though, to be honest, I feel like the moment you got your wand out, I’d be on the floor. I’m not a good duelist.”

“You should,” Severus said, a bit quieter, a bit more somber. “Hard times are approaching."

“You believe so, too, huh?” Elías pursed his lips. “Yeah, they are. I should learn how to duel, then.”

“Are you free on Tuesdays?” Severus asked him and Elías blinked, turning to him.

“Wait, wait, you’re going to teach me how to duel as well?”

“Yes,” Severus nodded and gave him a hard stare. “I won’t be _nice_.”

“I’m hoping you won’t be,” Elías replied, frowning. “I don’t want you to hold up. But I need some _basics_ first, Sev. I really have _no_ idea. I was really bad at it and I don’t even want to think about what it is now – should I _pay_ you for all these classes?”

“Don’t be _absurd_ ,” Severus rolled his eyes. “You’re making these potions that I can showcase to my students, as well as letting me teach you, an adult, without need to be _delicate_.”

Elías paused, a slow smile starting to pull at his lips, “You enjoy teaching me,” he stated.

“Yes,” Severus’ lip twitched. “I do. Did you want to hear that?”

“Say it with your own words?” Elías teased, making him roll his eyes.

“I enjoy teaching you, Elías,” he said and Elías grinned widely. “Now, do you have Tuesdays free?”

“No, unfortunately,” Elías explained. “I’ve got classes with Theodore.”

“Classes?” he frowned.

“Wednesdays I help him with Astronomy,” he explained. “And on Tuesdays and Thursdays I teach him drums.”

“You’re… teaching him an instrument?” he asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he wanted to,” Elías smiled at Severus widely. “Got him his first drum kit for his birthday! And we started this week – he’s super passionate and happy about it!”

“You got him _drums_?” Severus looked stunned.

“Yeah. He wanted to learn. And I’m a professor, who am I to deny him?” Elías laughed a bit, climbing up the stairs to the second floor, Severus watching him, scrutinizing him and Elías gave him a small smile. “I know. Someone might say I’m stupid –“

“No, no,” Severus replied, quietly. “I’m just… surprised. You truly care for that boy.”

“He’s a great kid,” Elías said softly, heart bleeding a bit, eyes worried. “He deserves to learn art. To know that he can accomplish whatever he wants. I sure wish a teacher had given me half the attention I give him, you know? Just… sat down with me and told me that I could do it. I think I would’ve been much better if they had.”

Severus was silent for a moment, pensive, and Elías let him stew in that silence, hoping he’d learn something from Elías’ actions. He did love Theodore – and his friends. Harry and his friends. All of his students – Lucille and her tilted handwriting, Liam and his perfectly timed jokes, Jane and her donkey-like laugh. They were his _kids_. He’d protect them with all he had. He’d help them with everything he had.

When they finally reached the Astronomy Tower, Elías began to climb up the steps but a hand – Severus’ hand fell on his wrist, gently gripping it, so loose that Elías easily slipped out of his grasp as he turned around, standing two steps up, looking now face-to-face at Severus.

“Yes?” he asked, curious. Severus looked ready to say something important.

“I’m not –“ he began by cutting himself off, looking a bit frustrated and Elías gave him a reassuring smile.

“Take your time to get the words you need,” he told Severus.

“I have them,” Severus replied, taking a deep breath before looking at Elías in the eye. “I do not like children. I have _never_ liked children. I’m not good with them, I’m not gentle nor kind nor forgiving in my teaching.”

“I know,” Elías told him, a bit dryly.

“No, I – I just – you make me want to change that. If only a little,” Severus said and Elías’ breath hitched a bit at the confession, his eyes meeting Severus’. “And it’s not just my teaching methods, it’s – it’s _me_. I want to change. I _have_ been changing. And – and somehow, whenever I do something that I know isn’t right… I think of you. And the way you’d look, if you knew I’d thought or said that. And I… feel bad.”

“I’m glad I’m a little angel on your shoulder,” Elías told him, smiling a bit, finger moving to tap Severus on the shoulder. “I think it’ll do you good. To think more about the way you affect children in your classroom. I’m proud of you.”

Severus blew out a breath, nodding. Then; “I have – something for you.”

Elías paused, blinking, “What?”

“I’ve got – I’ve got a gift,” he looked embarrassed, glancing away, hand running through his hair, pulling on his own ear, a nervous habit. “For you.”

“Oh,” Elías said, ever the eloquent man, feeling his cheeks flush a bit. “…thank you?”

“It’s – oh, for Salazar’s sake,” Severus scowled, reaching into his tunic and pulling out a wide, beautiful glass potion bottle, handing it to Elías. “It’s for your _hair_.”

“Ooooh, my hair!” Elías gasped, taking it, uncorking it with curiosity, lavender immediately reaching his nostrils and Elías felt his heart swoop. “Lavender…”

“You did mention them,” Severus told him, clearing his throat. “When we began to brew Amortentia. This is… a simple potion to apply before sleep. Hopefully, it… helps maintain your hair healthy.”

“This is _delightful_ , Sev,” Elías breathed, holding the bottle close to his chest, smiling widely at him. “Thank you so much, it’s – _thank you_.”

“You’re wel –“ 

Severus froze as Elías leaned in and hugged him, arms around his neck, smiling wide. It took him a moment, as it always did, to return the embrace but he did it so very carefully, his hand warm between Elías’ shoulderblades.

“Thank you,” Elías repeated before he pulled away, smelling it again. “How delightful. I’ll try it tonight right away.”

“Good,” he nodded, then paused. “Mondays?”

“Mondays I’m free,” Elías nodded, patting Severus’ chest. “Goodnight, Sev.”

“Goodnight, Elías,” he bid, giving him a small nod before turning on his heels, disappearing out of the tower, leaving Elías with a lightheaded sort of happiness that could only be explained with the fumes of Amortentia still boggling his mind.

Surely so.


	48. Corban Yaxley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe the updates may start to go from daily to once every two days. I know it's half the usual pace but I feel like I'm getting burnt out, guys, I'm so sorry. I'll still try to make it worth your time, though, and updates may start to get longer, if anything.
> 
> Songs in the Chapter:  
> \- The usual of Vera Lynn, Nat King Cole and Etta James, really  
> \- Uptown Girl by Billy Joel
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Mention of violence  
> \- Discussion of injury  
> \- Mention of cult  
> \- Mention of phobias  
> \- Drug mention

Saturday morning began with Remus walked into his rooms before breakfast, Elías just showered and dressed, gently brushing through his – his _frankly_ beautiful hair, he must admit. He didn’t know what had been in that potion but he couldn’t stop _touching_ his hair now, grinning down at it, sitting comfortably in his bed.

“Eli?” Remus called.

“In my bedroom!” Elías replied and Remus knocked before poking his head in, blinking. “Hi! Do you like my hair?”

“I – yes, what did you do?” he laughed, walking forward, watching him with a smile. “It looks nice.”

“Severus gave me a potion to care for it,” Elías breathed, grinning so wide that his cheeks hurt, flushed a bit, giving an involuntary giggle. “He – he just gave it to me!”

“Mhmm,” Remus smirked back at him, sitting down on Elías’ bed comfortably, wiggling his eyebrows. “Just like that, huh?”

“Remus, no!” Elías laughed, shoving him. “It’s – _no_ , it’s not like that!”

“How did your Amortentia smell? Like dungeons and bitterness?” Remus teased.

“No!” Elías kicked at his thigh a bit, shaking his head, chuckling. “I’ll let you know that it smelled like pinewood, pewter and pomegranates! It was very delightful!”

“Ah, I see, so it _did_ smell like him,” Remus beamed and Elías flushed, covering his face with a groan. “It’s alright! Eli – _Elías_ , listen to me –“

“It’s _embarrassing_ ,” Elías whined as Remus gently pulled his hands away from his face. “You don’t know what it’s like to have a crush on him, Remus!”

“Nope, I _very_ much don’t,” Remus said, giving a little snort.

“He’s – it’s torture!” Elías flapped his hands a bit, eyes wide. “Like, you – you know how he just – he has these _hands_ –“

Remus was laughing _hard_ into Elías’ shoulder, shaking his head and Elías couldn’t help but giggle, hand moving to the back of Remus’ neck, gently squeezing there, hoping Remus would mistake the rapid beating of his heart for something about Severus. Having two crushes really wasn’t helping Elías at all.

“He’s a bat,” Remus told him, amused, not in a mean way.

“Bats are _adorable_ ,” Elías countered, huffing, pushing at Remus until he sat back up. “I should’ve never told you about this.”

“It’s kind of obvious,” Remus giggled.

“Is it?” Elías’ eyes widened.

“Probably not to _him_ , I must say,” Remus quickly assured him. “But hey – he’s giving you all these things, teaching you potions, doing a _lot_ for you. Things that I’ve never seen him do. It must mean something, right?”

“I’m his only friend at Hogwarts, though,” Elías countered, starting to work on a careful side braid, trying not to make it too tight or too loose. “You know, we actually – he’s going to let me show him Cartagena. Muggle Cartagena. We spoke about it and – it took some convincing but in return, he’s going to take me to Les Ardennes! The potion brewing capital of Europe!” he said, excitedly, stars in his eyes as he bounced a bit on his bed, making Remus grin.

“He makes you so happy,” the werewolf murmured, hand raising to gently brush some stray hairs away from Elías’ eyes, making Elías flush a bit.

“He… does, I’ll admit. Whenever he’s behaving and he’s just… himself? He’s sarcastic and witty and has an incredible sense of humor and – I dunno, Remus,” he laughed. “I just – he has his faults and he has a lot to unlearn from years of being in that fucking purist cult but – he’s trying. He’s trying his _best_.”

“Good. That’s what matters,” Remus nodded, looking over at Elías’ clothes now, surprised. “Are you going somewhere today?”

“Oh, um – yeah, in the afternoon,” he nodded. “Dinner with Severus and Yaxley.”

“Yaxley. Corban Yaxley,” Remus winced. “Right.”

“What?” Elías asked quietly, dreading the answer a bit.

“Uh… I took his eye back at war,” he coughed and Elías blinked _hard_.

“His – his _eye_?” Elías spluttered.

“Yeah,” Remus blew out a loud breath. “With a _reducto_ explosion. His left eye I think is glass or something. It was a messy fight.”

“Shit, Remus,” Elías murmured, gnawing on his lower lip. “I… I heard his wife died?”

“Philippa Yaxley,” Remus nodded, rubbing his face. “Yeah, she was our mole.”

“ _What_?” Elías gaped at him, eyes wide. “She –“

“She was found out. And killed. She refused to torture some muggles,” Remus muttered, looking a bit haggard as he retold the events. “That was the last straw. She’d been slowly trying to get Yaxley into our side and last time I talked to her, she seemed positive that she was making a change in him. I… I was told she was killed in front of him.”

“Christ,” Elías swallowed, feeling his throat close up.

“Sorry, that was – crude and grotesque, I shouldn’t have –“

“No, no I wanted to know,” Elías sighed. “He… didn’t look like he’d slept much, when I saw him the other day in Severus’ office. He was a bit unkept, a bit…”

“Yeah, he’s uh, a recluse now, last I heard,” Remus explained, making Elías wince. “But I could be wrong. I’ve been out of the loop for a while. But if there ever was a _good_ Deatheater… it must be him, Eli. Philippa loved him very much. And she did her best to change people.”

“Tragedy follows everywhere Voldemort goes,” Elías muttered. “And the people he’s fucked over the most aren’t just the ones fighting for muggleborn rights, but also his _followers_. How did he fuck that up so much?”

“That’s what you get when you rule with fear,” Remus told him. “Not loyalty. Never loyalty. Just dishonesty. And betrayal surrounds you. That’s why Dumbledore works with debts. And not _magical_ debts, just debts born out of the other person’s basic sense of reciprocity.”

“Yeah,” Elías sighed, rubbing his jaw, which was starting to turn from stubble to beard. He had trimmed it a bit, this morning. “Does he… hold animosity towards you?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Remus replied, shrugging. “It was war. We lost eyes, limbs, fingers, toes. We knew it was part of it. I can’t feel part of my right foot because rubble fell on it. The healers were able to reconstruct my foot but… not the nerves.”

“I didn’t know,” Elías muttered.

“Again, part of war,” Remus gave Elías a small, sad smile, gently flicking up his chin. “Don’t look so glum. It’s over now.”

“Yeah,” Elías breathed in, nodding, looking away. “It is.”

“So,” Remus told him, nudging his shoulder with his own. “Enjoy your dinner with Severus and Corban, alright? Go with all your Slytherin friends,” he grinned, making Elías laugh. “I know you and them are on a different wavelength and I don’t blame you for liking their company, Eli.”

“Really?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck, giving a small smile.

“Really,” Remus nodded, leaning over to kiss his temple. “I understand. You guys have the same style, that unrestrained ambition. It’s good for you, to surround yourself with people who push you to keep learning and keep working on yourself.”

“You push me to learn, as well. And work on myself,” Elías countered, looking at Remus with firmness in his voice.

“I’m glad I do,” Remus smiled, making Elías nudge him a bit, the two giving out little laughs for a moment, if only to shake off the heavy feel of war talk. “Should we go for breakfast, then?”

“Yes!” Elías nodded, standing. “Have you got any plans for lunch?”

“None,” Remus followed him out of his rooms, humming.

“Good, then you’re coming with me,” Elías grinned. “Three Broomsticks, I invite.”

“You got it.”

* * *

“Udon?” Severus paused as Elías told him the menu for the night, arms crossing, grinning. “ _Homemade_ udon? Why complicate yourself?”

“Because it tastes _so_ much better and I’ve got _you_ and your knife expertise, so I’m not worried,” Elías told him, hoisting himself up on Severus’ desk in the dungeons around four in the afternoon, grinning at him. “You mentioned that Yaxley enjoys Japanese. And curry udon is the _best_.”

“I’ve never had it,” Severus confessed. “But Corban is a _very_ good cook. If you’re trying to impress him…” he chuckled. “Well, I haven’t in a long time.”

“Good. It’ll be a challenge,” Elías told Severus, glancing over at the essays he was working on, surprised to see him scribbling instructions and detailed corrections. “ _Sev_ ,” Elías gasped, eyes wide, grinning.

“What?” he asked calmly, circling an _Outstanding_ on an essay by _Hermione Granger_ of all people. Elías couldn’t believe it, his heart going _bum bum bum_ rapidly.

“Nothing,” he breathed, smiling, trying to hide it by looking away. No need to embarrass him or make him shy away. He was doing it well. “Are you nearly done?”

“Halfway,” Severus replied, cocking an eyebrow at Elías despite paying full attention to his essays. “Perhaps if you hadn’t come in an hour before we agreed –“

“I have _nothing to do_ ,” Elías groaned. “I finished _Of Time Magic_ without any clues to my seerdom, I already corrected everything that had to be corrected, I already gave out the exams, everything is done! I even finished the extra credit for Theo’s Easter _and_ handed it to him!” he huffed. “You just give the _so_ much homework.”

“Hogwarts is for studying, not for gallivanting,” Severus told him patiently and Elías rolled his eyes.

“That’s a damn lie and you know it,” Elías smirked a bit, leaning over to Severus. “I bet you were also a nerd about the castle.”

“Oh?” Severus glanced briefly at him before crossing out an entire paragraph, starting to furiously write on the margins with a frown.

“Come on! Don’t tell me you never tried to explore the castle!” Elías gave Severus a grin. “I was up all night on weekends avoiding Filch and trying to find hidden secrets everywhere! It was like one of my adventure books! I loved it!”

“So that’s why you were always out and about at night,” Severus threw him a sour look, glaring a bit. “Stirring up trouble for the people patrolling.”

“There was no danger to it,” Elías rolled his eyes. “Not like in these last years, Sev.”

“That, I will actually agree about – the last part, at least. But the castle _is_ dangerous and there are many secrets about it that not even Dumbledore knows about,” Severus warned, passing to the next essay and sighing deeply as he read over the first paragraph.

“Right but – but it’s still _fascinating_ ,” Elías said, excitedly. “Did you know Salazar Slytherin built an entire aqueduct under the castle? It was insane! He was fond of the aqueducts in Andalucía and –“

“He kept his basilisk there, yes, we’ve been through that,” Severus scowled. “Potter and _bloody_ Lockheart made sure to open the damn Chamber of the Secrets.”

“Wait, _what_?” Elías blinked. “It was opened?!”

“Last year,” he threw a few crosses into the essay here and there, indicating the correct answer and why before passing to the next. “That basilisk was on the loose and it was _insane_. The school nearly shut down.” 

“And… where is it now?” Elías asked, eyes wide.

“Dead,” Severus turned to him, tone dry. “Potter _killed it_.”

“ _What_?” Elías hissed, frozen. “A _twelve year old_ killed a _damn basilisk_?”

“I was as surprised as you,” Severus told him, rolling his eyes. “But that boy is _resilient_.”

“Why did he go against it? What the fuck – _where_ was Dumbledore in this?! I would’ve fucking lost my marbles if my kid went against a basilisk! Who died?!”

“Nobody died, they were just petrified,” Severus explained with irritation. “Ginevra Weasley – ah, it’s a _long_ tale,” he sighed, pushing the rest of the essays away. “Let me just explain it to you on the way to the market.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, standing, seeing Severus roll his wrist. “Oh, um – do you know how to stretch it properly?” 

Severus paused, turning to him, shaking his head. Elías approached him, seeing Severus fully face Elías before he offered his left wrist, the one he used, since he was a lefty. Elías gently moved his fingers around his wrist and began to explain.

“Basically, you need to do first a wrist extension, then a flexion, then another extension. Focus more on your palm? Grip it like this,” he demonstrated, thumb pressing to the back of his hand before stretching it slowly, making Severus nod. “Then flex it –“ he changed the position of his palm, moving it towards his inner wrist. “Keep your arm extended – that’s it, yeah. Then extension again. Good. Do one last wrist flexion but this time, with a loose fist – perfect. Now push your palms together,” he moved both of Severus’ hands together, smiling a bit at the silly picture the potions professor painted with praying hands. “And loooower them, like that, slowly. Do you feel the stretch?”

“Mhmm,” he hummed lowly, his voice echoing in Elías’ bones, making his spine tingle.

“And now shake it off!” Elías demonstrated and Severus imitated him, looking surprised down at his hands. “How is it?”

“Infinitely better,” Severus seemed mildly impressed. “Where did you learn this?”

“Painting,” he shrugged. “I… do not paint very well, kind of stopped doing it as I began to pursue music. But I still paint from time to time. And it goes well after doing violin and piano, too.”

“You play violin and piano, as well?” Severus frowned.

“Yep. And bass. And I’m decent with other instruments,” he shrugged.

“That’s – virtuous,” he blinked a couple of times and Elías felt a bit of pride.

“I studied it, I should be,” Elías laughed, starting to walk towards Severus’ office and the man said nothing, making Elías turn to look at him over his shoulder – he found Severus still watching him with such a curious look. “What?”

“I’ve heard you sing. I’ve heard the songs you play,” Severus told him, grasping some floo powder and stepping into the chimney. “But I’ve never heard _you_ play.”

“You haven’t?” Elías asked, surprised. “I play… almost every day, if I can.”

“I see,” Severus shifted his pose a bit, looking away before he threw the powder at his feet, swallowed by flames, not even bothering to say the name of his home. Elías knew he was good at non-verbal casting, anyway, and he followed him easily, appearing in Spinner’s End just as the rain began to fall.

“Does it always rain here?” Elías asked quietly, looking at the garden.

“Most of the year,” Severus replied, walking towards his dinner table and checking in on the plants there, taking out his wand to water them gently, making sure the earth on top was thoroughly soaked. “Does it bother you?” he asked, amused.

“No,” Elías confessed, smiling a bit. “I enjoy the rain.”

“A Spaniard _would_ say that. You barely see it,” Severus chuckled.

“Ah, no, I see it plenty, don’t worry,” Elías laughed, approaching the door to the gardens, looking through the window outside. “You know, for such a small industrial town, Cokeworth doesn’t look that depressing from your home.”

“Wait until you go outside,” Severus said dryly and Elías frowned.

“Do you not like it here?” he asked, watching Severus move to a closet near the front door, pulling out an umbrella, Elías walking to him, knowing they were about to leave the house for the first time since he’d first visited his home.

“It’s a house,” Severus replied, lips pursed. “It’s useful in the summers. And I keep my most important belongings here.”

“So you don’t consider it your home?” Elías felt a bit of sadness burst from his stomach, watching Severus with a small frown.

“No,” Severus told him, turning to Elías and returning his stare. “Hogwarts is my home.”

“Everyone needs their own home, though,” Elías countered as Severus offered him a scarf, taking it only because he knew he’d actually get cold, even in April. Stupid England. Maybe the rain wasn’t so nice. “You as well. If you don’t like it here, why don’t you sell it?”

“I couldn’t,” Severus sighed, putting on a scarf himself before opening the front door, stepping outside and letting the umbrella unfold, a big one – but still a single one. Elías shuffled to his side, closing the front door of Severus’ house and looping an arm around Severus’ elbow, the potions master not complaining about the close position.

“Why not?” Elías looked around the street and felt his heart drop a little – deserted brick houses with a few broken windows, useless streetlamps, the smell of a not-so-clean body of water nearby. “…you grew up here?” he breathed.

“Charming, isn’t it?” Severus cleared his throat a bit, walking forward, Elías following with quick steps to keep up with his long strides. “I cannot sell the house.”

“What’s stopping you?” Elías looked around, thinking of his own childhood back in San Fernando, where music rang through and his sister went out with her friends and his father took him to the park and his mother laughed as Elías tried to pet every dog on their way to school. This was the most run-down street he’d ever seen and pity threatened to swallow him – the contract of the white of San Fernando and the dingy grey of Spinner’s End was making him realize just how utterly privileged he had been, to have such a nice childhood.

“Me,” Severus finally replied, turning the corner onto a slightly better but no less pitiful street.

“You want to be miserable here?” Elías questioned.

“No,” Severus replied. “I don’t know anywhere else, Elías.”

“Sev, _anywhere is better_ ,” Elías told him, waving his hand around, pulling a bit at Severus’ right arm where he was holding on. “Couldn’t you – I don’t know, live with the Malfoy’s? Or with Yaxley? Gibbon?”

“They’ve offered, I’ve refused,” Severus replied, dryly. “I don’t… enjoy those big houses that they have. They’re empty. Triggers…” he sighed, looking forward, very pointedly away from Elías’ inquisitive eyes. “…triggers my agoraphobia.”

Elías said nothing, processing his words, his tone, the whisper with which he said them, almost unheard with the sound of rain furiously beating down on them. Elías changed his grip on Severus’ arm and he pulled a bit, making him stop, Severus still looking straight ahead.

“Sev?” Elías asked him softly. “Sev, can you look at me?”

“I’d rather not,” he muttered.

“Okay,” the Spaniard said gently, his free hand moving to arm wrap around his forearm, squeezing. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

That made him snap his head to Elías, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline, “ _Thank you_?” he repeated, boggled, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, giving him a warm smile. “You just told me something that must be very personal to you. A phobia can control your life and you just… put something of yours into my hands. You’re trusting me with this. And I want you to know that I acknowledge this and I’m humbled that you’d trust me this way, Sev.”

Severus said nothing, staring at him, eyes analyzing every movement that Elías made. This silence, Elías understood – it was a moment of stunned quiet, of processing what Elías had just said.

“You told me that you’re bipolar,” Severus said quietly. “I wanted to –“

“There’s no need,” Elías told him, making him grunt. “Sev, there’s no _need_. I told you because I _wanted_ to. And it’s not like I’m hiding it.”

“I _am_ hiding mine,” Severus whispered.

“I know,” Elías stepped a little closer, still smiling. “That’s why I’m thanking you. It means more to you than it did to me, telling you about my anxiety and my bipolarity.”

“You – you just – have this… _face_ ,” Severus said, frustration lacing his voice and Elías gave a little laugh, Severus suddenly echoing him, shaking his head, the sound of the rain over the umbrella almost deafening but the curve of it creating little space for them both, separated from the rest of the world. “I can never understand you. I can never… _predict_ what you will do next. You’re absolutely infuriating, Elías.”

“Good,” Elías told him, grinning, leaning up to kiss his cheek before pulling him along the street again, trying to calm his racing heart. Normal. Just act normal, Elías. “That oughtta keep you on your toes. Come on, tell me about the basilisk last year."

* * *

“So it’s three hundred grams of all-purpose flour,” Elías began, his hair tied back in a tall ponytail as Severus worked to make the easy curry roux, tunic gone, working in his pants and wizarding shirt – which was just a poet shirt, let’s be real here. “And one hundred and fifty grams of salted water – with 20 grams of salt.”

“You’ll start with the udon, I suppose?” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him, taking his wand from his sleeve to lower the sound of _Be My Baby_ by the Ronettes. He looked much more relaxed now than back at the market, shoulders loose and hair also pulled back into a short little ponytail, since they’d be working with a more complicated recipe – not so complex, but they were doing everything from scratch, after all.

“You’re the one with biceps like a hippogriff, so _you_ should be working on the udon,” Elías huffed, making Severus chuckle. “But no, actually – you can step on the udon. It’s the usual technique. So I can do this, yes.”

“Alright, I’ll work on the dashi first, then,” Severus hummed, looking for the kelp and bonito flakes among their groceries and Elías cleared a side of the kitchen table so he could start working on the udon, measuring each ingredient. “Is udon your favorite?”

“Japanese meal? _Hell yeah_ ,” Elías grinned. “I’m a sucker for curry, one of my favorite spices, and to have it in a _soup_? With _nice, thick noodles_? Amazing, Severus.”

“I enjoy unagi the most,” Severus breathed, as if tasting it and Elías grinned as he saw the man work easily in his kitchen, pulling out the roux he’d made into a little crystal bowl on the counter, waving his wand to clean the pot and start on the dashi. “Over some white rice…”

“You’re salivating,” Elías teased, making Severus flick his wand, Elías’ bowl of water splashing, soaking his hands. “ _Sev!_ ” he laughed wildly, eyes wide. “You ass!”

“Careful there,” he smirked. “Don’t spill it everywhere.”

“I should spill it all over _you_ , see how you like that,” Elías shook his head, too happy to see him joking to actually care about getting wet. “I’m gonna play obnoxious 60s songs now.”

“All 60s songs are obnoxious,” Severus rolled his eyes.

“Ex _cuse_ me?” Elías gasped. “David Bowie is _not_ obnoxious!”

“He has _one_ good song,” Severus told him, unimpressed. “The rest are obnoxious, repetitive and uninspired.”

“Sev, you’re _killing me_ ,” Elías began to pour the measured amount of flour onto the table, gasping. “David Bowie is a genius!”

“Not to me,” Severus replied and Elías huffed.

“And _who_ is a genius to you, hmm?” he raised his eyebrows as he poured the water into the little hole he’d made on the flour. “Musically.”

“I don’t know enough about music to challenge you to this,” Severus told Elías, turning to him as he let the water boil away, approaching the kitchen table and watching Elías work on the dough, sleeves rolled to show off his tattoos and keep the flour out of his hands. “You surely know better than I do – after all, you _do_ know music from the future.”

“Yep,” Elías nodded, smirking at him. “Clever man.”

“I think, though, that Billy Joel is one few can compare to,” Severus finally said and Elías gave a wide smile, nodding toward his own right arm.

“I’ve got _Vienna_ tattooed on me. One of my first tattoos,” he told Severus, who looked curiously at his right arm, the one with the snake and moon. “My dad’s song that he _constantly_ sings to my mom is _Uptown Girl_.”

“It’s a good one,” Severus admitted and Elías immediately played it, making the corners of Severus’ lips twitch. “Is there any song you don’t know?”

“Lots! And I can’t wait to learn them all!” Elías laughed over the music before he began to move his hips, working on the dough, singing as obnoxiously similar to Billy Joel as he could. “ _Uptown girl! She's been living in her uptown world! I bet she's never had a backstreet guy! I bet her mama never told her why!_ ”

Severus mouthed along – but never sang – to the lyrics, checking on the dashi, easily speeding up the process with a wave of his wand before he drained the kelp and bonito flakes from the stock. He set it aside, along with the roux, which he threw in and stirred as he began to prepare the pan for the beef and onion.

“ _I'm gonna try for an uptown girl! She's been living in her white bread world! As long as anyone with hot blood can! And now she's looking for a downtown man! That's what I am!_ ”

Elías finished mixing the dough and quickly covered it up once it was dropped into a bowl, setting it aside, cleaning his workspace with a rag and moving to the sink to wash his hands, dancing slightly and singing with a smile. Severus watched him, a bit amused as he let the oil in the pan heat up.

“Come on, Sev, you know the lyrics!” Elías laughed, hands clean and dry, moving to him and pulling on his wrist a bit. “Sing with me! Dance with me! There’s nobody else around!”

“I already told you,” Severus rolled his eyes. “I don’t sing, nor do I dance.”

“You’re booooring,” Elías stuck out his tongue at him.

“I’m very happy being boring,” Severus told him, not pulling away from Elías’ grip on his wrist, at the very least. Elías took it as a good sign. “With my books and my potions. I don’t need singing or dancing.”

“Aw, everyone _does_ ,” Elías told him, lowering the volume of the song a bit, pouting at Severus. “I couldn’t picture my life without doing any of those things. Or playing music.”

“Music is important to you, yes, I’ve quite noticed,” Severus told him, turning back to the pan and dropping the already chopped onion and beef into it, using a wooden spoon to move it around. “…did you ever consider potions? Again?”

“Of course I did,” Elías said softly, leaning against the counter, giving him a small, sad smile. “But – well, I hadn’t been able to finish Advanced Potions. So there was no point, looking into it. I did keep up with Weekly Potioneer and other magazines and articles but – well, you know. I only really did basic potions since I finished Hogwarts.”

“I see,” he murmured, thoughtful, frowning at the pan and Elías got a bit closer, inspecting his face.

“Say it,” Elías told him, nudging him a bit. “Say what’s on your mind, c’mon.”

“You’ve still got it,” he told Elías, stubbornly looking at the pan. “That gift, with potions.”

“I don’t know about that,” Elías immediately countered with a laugh but he was met with a frustrated look from Severus. “Aw, come on, Sev – I liked potions. A lot. Like, _a lot_. I still love them so very much but do you _realistically_ think I could’ve pursued it as a career?”

“Yes,” Severus replied, no hesitation and it left Elías a bit frozen on the spot, staring at him, feeling something akin to flattered but too… disbelieving to truly be that.

“It doesn’t matter, anyway,” Elías told him, swallowing, taking over the wooden spoon and working on the pan. “What’s done is done, y’know. I studied music. And I’m happy with it.”

“Why aren’t you working with music, then?” Severus asked him and Elías shrugged. “No – Elías, _tell me_ , please, it’s been –“

“I’m…” Elías felt his mouth go dry. “Music is personal to me, Severus. I used to – be able to go on stage and sing my heart out. I used to do theater in the summers. I used to have a good relationship with the stage but I don’t want it. I don’t want the fame, I don’t want the attention, I don’t want money or record deals or people lining up at my door to talk to a version of me that is _fake_ , that’s fabricated. I don’t – I can’t deal with that.”

Severus was quiet for a moment, frowning deeply, “…did you have to deal with that?”

“Last year of college,” he muttered. “You know, back then? I wanted to be _famous_. I wanted to be someone big, you know? Someone admired, loved, feared. I wanted all the glory that you’d corked back in your classes – but I wanted it to be _real_. Not a product of magic but all _mine_ to enjoy. So I worked hard as a musician. And began to make my own music, my own songs. And people liked it. And I got a record deal. And I got a lot of money thrown my way.”

“And then?” Severus asked softly.

“And then someone offered me a line of coke, I went down the rabbit hole for two weeks, had a bad trip on LSD where I had a Sight about Carrow killing a little muggle girl and I quit.”

Severus froze, blinking, “Wait, what?”

“I quit. I left college,” Elías told him, shrugging. “I don’t have a college degree. I studied but I never finished. Quite like your classes, hmm?” he laughed a bit, mirthlessly. “Gods, Sev, these Sights ruined my fucking life and saved it at the same time. Dumbledore offered me this job after the Carrow incident and now I’m… here.”

“Sounds intense,” Severus tried to joke a bit and Elías snorted.

“You could say so,” Elías rubbed his face and Severus moved to slowly pour the dashi and roux into the deep pan, Elías deglazing with a sigh. “Yeah, no, I didn’t even finish muggle college. Fucking failure and all.”

“I disagree,” Severus told him gently. “School is not for everyone. And you know this. But if that lifestyle was making you miserable and you knew it would lead you to that… then I think you made the responsible choice.”

“Thanks,” Elías murmured. “At least I learned a few instruments.”

“A few, he says,” Severus laughed and Elías gave a small giggle, shaking his head, happy to see the curry stock done. The two covered it up, hitting it with a warmth spell before turning to the udon, which still had to develop some more gluten. “My mother knew piano.”

“Oh,” Elías turned to him, smiling a bit. “Did she?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “Piano is my favorite.”

“Billy Joel,” Elías smiled.

“Barry White,” Severus added.

“And I see the way you smile at Vera Lynn, too,” Elías poked the middle of his chest, making Severus smile sideways, looking away. “And Billie Holiday. And Tony Bennett.”

“Yes, yes, you got all my favorite classics,” Severus chuckled, hands moving to his shoulders, turning him around and moving him to the udon. “Now get working.”

“Also, Earth, Wind and Fire! You love them!” Elías laughed. “And Boney M.! I knoooow them all, Sev!”

“You’re perceptive when you want to be, hmm?” he cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Elías to show him how to press the udon, the younger Slytherin grabbing the bowl where he’d left it and taking another kitchen cloth, setting it all on the floor, the dough between two pieces of parchment paper. Then he began to step on it mostly with the heels of his feet. “That’s it?”

“Yes,” Elías laughed. “It’s super easy. The downside is if you slip.”

“Have you?” Severus asked.

“I haven’t. My dad has,” Elías giggled. “Nearly tore his head open, he fell against me and broke my toe. I was _screaming_ my head off.”

“Unsurprising from you,” Severus chuckled.

“Shush,” he laughed, nudging him before taking the udon and folding it back into a ball, once again covering it up. “Dooo you have some wine?”

“No wine tonight,” Severus shook his head, making Elías pout.

“Aw, why?” he walked out of the kitchen, stretching a bit, pulling out his ponytail to let his scalp breathe.

“Because Corban is on his first successful week of abstinence, I won’t be rude,” Severus explained and Elías turned, wincing. “You didn’t know, it’s fine.”

“I’ll make sure not to mention alcohol, then,” he promised but now he felt a bit worried. “Is… he alright?”

“No,” Severus sat down on his couch, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. This was the most casual Elías had ever seen him, actually, now that he thought about it. He’d never seen Severus without his tunic. And with his hair back. “No, he’s not.”

“I’m sorry,” Elías offered, sitting down as well, starting to carefully braid his hair.

“Not your fault,” Severus waved a hand, rubbing his temple a bit. “It’s a complicated situation. An ongoing battle. The war took a lot from him.”

“Right,” Elías nodded, not wanting to be insensitive but also too curious. “He… Remus told me a bit about him?”

“Lupin gouged out his eye during a skirmish in Nottingham,” Severus said dryly. “The result of some _reducto_ debris. I remember. I had to drag Corban by the back of his tunic to the portkey before he bled out.”

“No matter how many times I’ve seen these things or heard them, I just… never get used to it,” Elías whispered. “I didn’t… notice his glass eye.”

“It’s got a charm, normally,” Severus shrugged. “The glass disturbs most people.”

“He should wear an eyepatch,” Elías grinned, trying to lighten the mood and Severus gave a low chuckle.

“Maybe,” he murmured. “…he used to have the best sense of humor out of all of us, back then. Now I’m afraid you won’t get a lot from him tonight. It’s been rough, these past two weeks, trying to get sober.”

“Were they for him?” Elías asked softly. “The Sleeping Draughts?”

“Yes,” Severus nodded, pursing his lips. “He needs help.”

“He could get help,” Elías told him. “Through AA. Muggles have a lot of programs around England, I’m sure. It’d just be a matter of finding one for him.”

“Muggle therapy,” Severus laughed bitterly. “Don’t know if he’d even _ponder it_ as an option. He’s been refusing medical help.”

“Well – let me try to convince him,” Elías told Severus, hand moving to his arm, pulling a little, Severus turning to him with an apprehensive look. “I won’t be too forward or too aggressive. I’m not even sure I’ll try tonight. Just – first of all, he’s your _friend_. And I want to know your friends and Narcissa’s and Lucius’. Because I – I actually enjoy you, guys, even if at times you’re scary.”

“Narcissa likes you,” Severus told him and Elías smiled a bit.

“Well, I hope Corban likes me, too,” he murmured, taking in a sharp breath.

“Me too,” Severus confessed quietly, looking away, to his garden windows and Elías watched him for a moment, biting his lower lip.

“Hey, Sev?” he asked.

“Yes?” the potions professor turned to him.

“Could I… ask you about your agoraphobia?”

Severus didn’t respond immediately, eyes closing, rubbing his temple for a moment and Elías was tempted to take the question back but instead, he waited patiently, turning his body a bit to fully face Severus. Finally, the potions master sighed deeply and he nodded, opening his deep black eyes to watch Elías.

“Yes,” he responded calmly. “What do you want to know?”

“Have you told anyone else about it?” Elías asked first, just in case he was wrong about how to approach this but Severus shook his head. “No?”

“You’re the first I’ve told,” he confessed and Elías felt, in his mind, the way Severus laid a dagger onto his hand and pressed it to his throat, the kind of trust that Elías was nearly uncomfortable with, his breath hitching. “Because somehow, I trust you with this.”

“Don’t know why,” Elías muttered before he could think of holding that back.

“You won’t use it against me. Even if you hated me,” Severus replied, shrugging. “I think you’d only be cruel to those who have wronged you and been smug about it, perhaps.”

“Aaand there it is, you can read me like a book. As always,” Elías tried to go for lightheartedness and was rewarded with a small chuckle. “But for real, I – you haven’t even told Lucius?”

“No,” Severus shook his head. “I’ve… only recently realized it was even happening.”

“Was it hard to go outside just now?” Elías questioned, feeling guilty.

“No, it was raining,” Severus explained. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t white brick the way the Malfoy Manor is made. How… the windows are so tall and wide, how the whole space looks too much. I feel… small.”

“Is that it? Feeling small?” Elías reached over to gently rest his hand over his arm, watching Severus’ face. He looked calm and Elías didn’t know if it was a mask or if he really felt relaxed in his couch, in this little corner of the world.

“No, it’s… about being in an environment I can control,” he told Elías, frowning a bit, giving a sigh. “This house is a nightmare. But I know every nook, every cranny, every corner. It’s not good. It’s not happy. But it’s _safe_.”

“Do you feel unsafe, when you’re out in the open?” Elías let the side of his head rest against the back of the couch, watching him.

“Yes,” Severus confessed, swallowing. “I… I do. Sometimes, I’ll… stand on the threshold of this house. Towards the open. And I am – I am unable to move. Paralyzed. I feel like I cannot step outside, I just _cannot_.”

“I see,” Elías muttered, moving a bit closer, desperately wanting to comfort Severus and not knowing how. “And Hogwarts is safe, too?”

“Mostly,” he nodded. “The dungeons most of all. Your classroom and office are a nightmare,” he scowled and Elías gave a small frown. “It’s alright, Elías. I can be there for ten minutes. It’s not – I won’t have… a panic attack from it.”

“Have you had panic attacks, recently?” Elías squeezed his arm a bit.

“No,” Severus said, honest, watching Elías’ face before whispering, “I’m… able to focus on other things. But I greatly dislike the Malfoy Manor. And Corban’s home as well. All those empty, too-big homes…”

“So that’s why you like the dungeons,” Elías smiled a bit. “Nice and cozy. Underground.”

“I do,” Severus’ lips twitched a bit. “It’s safe.” 

“Where else is safe?” Elías asked curiously.

“Your home. _El Rompido_ ,” he told Elías, making his face light up. “It’s shielded by rocky hills. I dislike looking into the ocean but I do not mind your garden and the house itself.”

“I’m _so_ glad,” Elías breathed, laughing a bit. “Oh man, you must really hate the ocean.”

“Haven’t been closer to it than at your home and I plan for it to stay that way,” he scowled a bit and Elías grinned a bit, way too fond of that face he made when he was annoyed. “In any case… it’s fine as long as I’m not – not in the _center_ of an open space. Like open fields, the middle of the ocean, someone flat and…”

“…easy to hit you with,” Elías finished, startled. “Did… this happen after the war?”

“Yes,” Severus nodded. “I know it’s a byproduct of it. Always looking over your shoulder.”

“You could talk to your therapist about it,” Elías suggested, making Severus grunt. “She’ll be there for that reason! When is your appointment?”

“In a few weeks,” he muttered. “On Monday. In the morning.”

“Where is it?” Elías asked curiously.

“Diagon Alley,” Severus closed his eyes, shoulders drooping a bit, relaxing as thunder rang out through the valley.

“Well, it’s not too far away,” Elías nudged him a bit, smiling, making Severus hum. “Hey, is… is there anything I can do to help? If I ever see you struggling in an open space?”

“If I’m struggling in an open space, I will leave,” Severus told him, making Elías frown a bit. “You won’t ever see me in an open field, hopefully.”

“Hopefully,” Elías told him, feeling a bit sad that Severus would never get to enjoy the ocean in a way he did. “You know,” he suddenly spoke up, much brighter, trying to change the glum tone of their conversation. “I know what to gift you, now!”

Severus blinked several times, opening his eyes to look at Elías with a confused look, “Pardon, what did you say?”

“I know what to gift you,” Elías grinned.

“Gi – it’s not my birthday,” he deadpanned.

“It wasn’t my birthday yesterday, either, but you did gift me something! So!” Elías stated, beaming brightly at Severus. “I am going to start giving back to you.”

“I don’t _need_ anything,” Severus told him, frowning.

“I know, I know! But I wanna give you something!” Elías told him passionately. “You’ve – like, Sev, _come on_ , you’ve been helping me out nonstop. I want to return all those good faith favors!”

“I didn’t do them so I’d get something back,” Severus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and Elías laughed.

“I know and that’s _exactly_ why I’m giving back,” he said. “Just you wait!”

“I’m dreading it now,” Severus groaned.

“You’ll love it,” Elías giggled, poking his shoulder and Severus’ head moved to rest against the back of the couch as well, staring at Elías with a bit of a glare while Elías stared back with a big smile. “I never thought I’d feel so at ease with you,” he said softly and Severus made a noise of surprise, standing, making Elías blink. “Wait, did I do it again?”

“You did it again,” Severus rolled his eyes, helping Elías up to his feet, walking back to the kitchen. “You and your bloody honesty. You’ll kill one of us one day.”

“Did it kill you?” Elías laughed, following Severus and he said nothing as Elías went to grab the udon, repeating the same process as before. “Anyway, when is Yaxley getting here?”

“In an hour,” Severus replied as he looked at the clock. “So we still have time.”

“We _do_ ,” Elías’ eyes sparkled. “In fact, we’ve time to make a small cake for dessert!”

“Cake?” Severus looked unimpressed.

“I know you don’t like sweets, but you ate _mine_ ,” Elías told him.

“The cocoa and sugar ratio was _adequate_ , that’s why,” Severus told him dryly.

“Then let me make this spongy little cake, come on, it’ll go amazing after such a salty and spicy meal,” Elías pouted.

“Alright, kitchen is yours,” Severus waved his hand, leaning back against the counter and Elías happily began to pull out the ingredients he’d need, putting some of his own favorite music, from the future, a song he hadn’t played in a while.

The rest of the time that they spent alone was baking a spongy, nice, palatable chocolate cake and finally cutting the udon, Severus proving to do exactly as Elías had predicted and making them perfect as he dropped them into boiling water to cook. He also added some last aromatics to the three awaiting bowls on the counter, freshly chopped and crunchy. For the soul.

By the time Yaxley was scheduled to arrive, the storm had abated and it was barely raining, Elías working to get the dinner table set up just as the chimney lit up and the man himself walked in, wearing more casual robes this time – black, because of course nobody could wear some damn color around here.

“Hi,” Elías greeted, turning around to smile at Yaxley. He froze, seeing Elías first, looking startled. “Sorry,” Elías laughed, walking forward and offering him a hand. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright,” the man replied. He still had his unkept beard, the bags under his eyes, his long dark hair pulled back into a loose braid. After everything Severus had told him about wizarding manners and traditions, Elías could see just how rundown the man looked. His coat had a wrinkle on it, too. It only made Elías feel more sympathy for him. “…Elías Fernández, was it?”

“Just Elías,” he reassured, feeling him finally shake his hand, Yaxley’s fingers trembling a bit, trying to disguise it in a firm grip once more.

“Then just Corban to you,” the man nodded, looking around. “And Severus…?”

“Oh! In the kitchen,” he told him, smiling as he pushed open the kitchen door. “Sev, guest is here.”

Severus looked up from the bowls and set the ladle aside, walking forward, out of the kitchen, his eyes looking over Yaxley before he nodded. No hugs, no smiles, no _how are you_ ’s and Elías could guess that it was because of _him_. If Elías was here, Corban couldn’t be open and vulnerable to his friend. He felt a bit guilty.

“Smells good,” Corban poked his head into the kitchen, eyebrows raising. “Ramen?”

“Udon,” Severus replied, cocking an eyebrow at him. “About time I attempted something to impress you.”

“You never can,” Corban huffed, frowning a bit. “What made you go for it?”

“It was _his_ idea,” Severus pointed his thumb at Elías, who waved a bit.

“Ah, I see,” Corban murmured. “Well, it smells delightful, Elías.”

“Thank you, hopefully it tastes the same,” he smiled a bit.

“Get comfortable,” Severus hummed, waving his wand, the three steaming bowls moving to the dinner table as Elías began to pull his hair into a proper braid, not wanting to have it loose in front of Corban. Felt a bit stupid but this was a language for people like him.

“So Elías,” Corban began to speak as he sat down at the table, right across from the Spaniard. “Fernández is a common name but I was wondering if you had anything to do with Elena Fernández?”

“That is indeed my sister, yes,” Elías nodded, internally sighing as Severus also sat down, passing some beautifully ornate chopsticks to the other two men at his table.

“A very apt curse-breaker, even better businesswoman,” Corban complimented and Elías took a sip of his water, nodding.

“Thank you. She’s incredible,” he admitted.

“Now, I haven’t personally met her, but it intrigues me,” Corban entwined his fingers together, resting his chin over them, watching Elías. “How come you’re a Hogwarts Professor when you could’ve gone for Altavista?”

“I didn’t go to Altavista,” Elías replied, giving him his full attention. “I went to Hogwarts.”

“Hmm. I see,” Corban glanced over at Severus, who was busy making sure he ignored the both of them. Corban seemed a bit amused but his small smile didn’t really reach his eyes. “So you’re in the U.K. now.”

“Only for work,” Elías replied. “I live back in Spain.”

“Don’t you like England?”

“You’ll excuse me for saying this,” Elías gave a small smile and Severus snorted, trying to hold back a quip for sure. “But I find it not to my enjoyment, much.”

“Someone from a sunny, southern country _would_ say that,” Corban smirked a bit.

“And you?” Elías asked, eyebrows raising. “I know the Malfoy’s live in France.”

“No, no, I live in Surrey,” he hummed, taking his chopsticks and finally digging into his meal, Elías and Severus following. “This is _good_ ,” he said, surprised, making Severus’ eyes snap to his friend with mute amazement. “Congratulations,” he nodded at Elías. “You managed to impress me.”

“ _What_ ,” Severus snapped, making Corban glance over at him with disdain. “I also –“

“You couldn’t impress me with your cooking even if you tried,” Corban told him, pointing his chopsticks at Severus, making Elías laugh quietly into the back of his hand. “I know the way you work. You always make things that are predictable. I didn’t expect udon, I didn’t expect it to be _good_ and I didn’t expect you to rope me into dinner with a _friend_.”

“Wait, you’ve told the others that I’m your friend?” Elías asked, face a bit tender as he looked at Severus and Severus gave a grunt.

“No, I did _not_ –“

“He did,” Corban nodded and Elías was starting to notice a pattern with these Slytherins, laughing a bit. “He’s been _raving_ about you –“

“I have _not_ ,” Severus hissed at him and Elías looked between them like a ping pong match, seeing Corban further relax into the conversation.

“ _Oh, Corban, you’ve to come to dinner! I promised him that you would come_!” the man said dramatically, hand moving to his forehead to imitate a fainting maiden, trying to speak in Severus’ accent, actually succeeding, making Elías laugh hard.

“I did _not_ ,” Severus smacked him over the head, Corban trying to dodge. “You _fiend_. Must you embarrass me every time I invite you to dinner?”

“Yes, I must,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “It’s my thing. And Narcissa’s.”

“I thought I’d be happy to meet Severus’ friends,” Elías told them both, grinning wide at Corban. “And so far, I was _absolutely_ right.”

“Is that your goal, then?” Corban asked, cocking his head. “Meeting his friends?”

“Oh, for sure,” Elías nodded, laughing. “There’s no sinister thing. I just barely have friends and I like torturing Severus.”

“They all do,” Severus said dryly as Corban began to smile a bit.

“Is he honest? Is this what Lucius mentioned?” Corban asked Severus.

“Yes,” the potioneer sighed. “That’s his thing.”

“You all have been talking about me and I am _so_ curious to know,” Elías told them, excited. “What’s the general consensus?”

“That you’re a very bizarre man,” Corban confessed and Severus glared at him.

“Well, I’ve been called worse,” Elías shrugged.

“That you’re at least… tolerable,” Severus told Elías. “Everyone is thinking of the kids.”

“Those children _adore_ you,” Corban pointed out and Elías felt a genuine smile rush to his lips, looking down at his bowl of udon with happiness. “And from what I’ve heard, you really do care for them. So for now… you’re alright.”

“Thank you, I do care,” Elías explained to Corban with a softer one. “I take my role as a professor very seriously.”

“Seems like. So thank _you_ for taking care of them,” Corban pursed his lips. “Since good ole Dumbledore doesn’t care for anyone that isn’t a Gryffindor.”

“Yeah, that’s the pattern,” Elías said dryly.

“I heard you took a case to CPS,” Corban said and Elías nodded. “With _Harry Potter_.”

“The kid’s been in an abusive household for his entire life, I’m not going to sit idly just because Dumbledore thinks it’s the best for him,” Elías snorted. “Fuck him.”

“And he didn’t fire you?” Corban’s eyebrows shot up.

“Nope. He knew it’d be bad press, if it was found out,” Elías lied smoothly, shrugging. “Honestly, I’m just glad I get to keep helping kids. I would help Theodore if I could…”

“Theodore’s case is… complicated,” Corban frowned, cleaning his mouth with his napkin before he sighed. “We’ve all tried out best. And we couldn’t get it through.”

“Then it’s a matter of protecting him the best we can during the summer,” Elías replied, making Corban nod. “He usually goes with Draco?”

“Yes. And with Blaise,” Severus explained. “The Zabinnis mostly reside in Italy, so it’s far enough that Nott doesn’t bother to check on him.”

“Man doesn’t check on him anyway,” Corban snorted.

“It’s not fair for Theo,” Elías murmured. “He deserves a father.”

“We don’t always get one,” Corban replied softly.

“Gods, what is this? The _daddy issues_ club?” Elías snorted, making Severus and Corban look at each other with knowing looks. “Seriously? Does everyone have daddy issues?”

“And mommy issues, not going to lie,” Corban sighed.

“Did anyone have a decent childhood?” Elías groaned, rubbing his face.

“In a cult? Not happening,” Corban replied and Elías looked at him with surprise, not expecting the term. “Er… yes, I know it’s a cult.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Severus said dryly but Elías nodded.

“It’s a cult. You’re the first person within it to call it so, I’m surprised,” he said, eyebrows raising.

“I just don’t care for… you know,” he winced a bit, putting his chopsticks down and using the spoon now. “Keeping up appearances anymore – why am I telling you this?” he suddenly frowned and Severus smirked a bit.

“He has that effect,” he told Corban. “I told you.”

“I know. Shite,” Corban looked over at Elías. “Tell me something of yours. This is hardly fair.”

Elías laughed, “What? What am I supposed to tell you?”

“Anything, honestly – how’d you meet Severus?” he asked, turning to his friend.

“I studied at Hogwarts,” Elías replied, amused as Corban looked at Severus with a sudden smirk, Severus very obviously kicking him under the table. “He was my professor.”

“I see,” Corban hummed. “And now you two are… friends.”

“Friends,” Severus nodded, firmly.

“Friends,” Elías nodded, shrugging. “It’s life. You grow and you change.”

“Riiight,” Corban said slowly, still smirking and Elías had the feeling that he was missing something. “So Narcissa was right – you’re changing Severus into an acceptable member of society, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say –“ Elías flushed, caught. “I just – I’m a _muggleborn_ , I can’t just let –“

“- bigotry pass you by, yes, yes,” Corban nodded, finishing up the soup and leaning back comfortably on his chair. “I understand.”

“Well,” Elías was very pleasantly surprised, smiling at Corban gently. “You sure are self-aware. It’s very nice to actually see.”

“Maybe if he did something with it,” Severus spoke up, scolding, making Corban sigh. “Then he’d be busier, rather than just sit by with nothing to do everyday.”

“I’m fine tending to my house,” Corban murmured.

“Do you have any hobbies?” Elías asked, trying to steer the conversation out of that delicate place. He didn’t want to make the man uncomfortable, he obviously didn’t trust Elías yet. And with reason, since they’d just met.

“I like antique restoration,” he said, brightening up slightly and Elías felt a smile take over his lips. “Especially toys. I enjoy… bringing them back to life.”

“That’s amazing,” Elías grinned at him after finishing his own meal, resting his chin on his fist, watching Corban. “How long have you been doing it?”

“Oh, several years,” he waved a hand. “It truly is a hobby, I – I’m not a professional of any sort.”

“Still, that’s a beautiful hobby,” Elías insisted. “How did you get into it?”

“Severus here, actually,” Corban told him, making Severus nod. “He helped me get rid of a lot of heirlooms that I did not want in my family home. And we came upon a small toy of mine, from my childhood. I was hesitant to throw it away but it was falling apart. So Severus told me to try and repair it, gifted me a book on restoration.”

“You’re so gooooood,” Elías laughed, grinning at Severus, who glared mildly at him. “Sev also helped me out this year. He’s helping me get better at potions. _And_ he promised he’d teach me how to duel, since I can’t really… hold myself in a fight, if I’m honest.”

“That’s important to any wizard,” Corban said, nodding. “And Severus is the best I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m not –“ Severus tried but Corban threw a clean napkin at his face.

“Let people say nice things about you, Severus,” the man scolded and Elías laughed.

“I’ve heard of his dueling skills,” Elías spoke and Severus frowned.

“From whom?” he asked.

“Remus,” Elías replied, shrugging, making Corban suddenly laugh out loud, Severus smirking a bit. “He said that you wiped the floor with his face, back at Hogwarts.”

“He could’ve done a bit more to prevent it,” Severus replied, rolling his eyes. “He refuses to fight unless it’s to save someone’s life. Damn pacifist. It’ll get him killed.”

“Lupin isn’t a bad duelist,” Corban spoke up. “He’s very good when he has terrain to work with. Lost my eye to that.”

“If it helps, he said it was unintentional,” Elías told him and Corban nodded.

“Even if it had been, it was a different time,” he explained, waving it off. “It’s alright. I’ve gotten used to it by now. There are people who had it much worse.”

“You’re pretty optimistic,” Elías said, smiling at him. He liked Corban. He liked him a lot, he was a very nice man, from what he could tell so far.

“Optimism, I’m afraid, is all I have now,” he gave Elías a tense smile before drawing his chair back. “If you’d excuse me, I must go to the bathroom.”

He left the dinner table and Elías watched him walk away, turning to Severus, the professor looking back at Elías already.

“I like him,” Elías told him.

“I know, I could tell,” Severus replied, cocking an eyebrow. “Do you enjoy embarrassing me and patronizing me with the rest of my friends?”

“Thoroughly,” Elías reached over to pinch his cheek, earning him a slap on the wrist. “How is he? Do you think he’s alright with me?”

“I do. But I don’t think he wants to trust you,” Severus replied, shrugging, leaning back on his seat before muttering. “I didn’t… broadcast you to everyone, if you must know.”

Elías laughed, “It’s okay if you did, Sev. I don’t mind you talking about me to others.”

“They _made_ me talk about you,” Severus scowled.

“Well, that’s not inherently _bad_ ,” Elías reassured, patting his arm. “I _bet_ you sang me praises,” he teased.

“Oh yes, along with _Let’s Get It On_ ,” Severus smirked.

“Marvin Gaye is _great_ ,” Elías chuckled, watching Severus with an insufferable grin. “But did you?”

“Did I what?” Severus deadpanned.

“Sing me praises?” Elías cocked his head a bit and Severus rolled his eyes.

“I told them that I… enjoyed your friendship and company,” he finally said and Elías felt his heart flutter a bit. “Narcissa is having fun with that.”

“You’re making new friends, that’s _fun_ ,” Elías put, laughing.

“I don’t do _new_ friends. That’s why it’s strange,” Severus told him, making a face of annoyance. “None of us do new friends.”

“Cult mindset, I get it,” Elías shrugged. “That’s why it’ll be nice for me to infiltrate your little group. Muggleborn Slytherin undercover, hoping to get some people out of shitty situations.”

“You’re playing with fire,” Severus warned him.

“I like the heat,” Elías retorted, eyes sparkling with ambition. “I like the challenge. And I like you lot. I think I could learn from you as much as you can learn from me.”

“Empathy vs venom,” Severus pointed out. “Is that what you want? Some venom?”

“On the snake scale, I’m probably a hognose,” Elías told him and Severus chuckled, smile on his lips, shaking his head. “Small. Cute. Very big eyes. Did you _know_ that the western hognose snake can live up to twenty years? And they’ve _the_ most adorable face in the entirety of the animal kingdom?”

“They’re diggers, are they not?” Severus asked.

“Yes! Little sand diggers, they’re _adorable_ ,” Elías sighed, eyes sad. “I want one so bad.”

“Why don’t you get one?”

“Well, everyone I know _hates_ snakes,” Elías scowled a bit, rolling his eyes. “They’re super fucking mean to them. I also don’t think I could bring it to Hogwarts, really, the pet rules are a cat, a toad or an owl. And also, western hognose snakes are hard to find in the market from a reputable breeder that is humane.”

“You know a lot about them,” Severus pointed out, surprised.

“I like snakes,” Elías raised his hand with the head of a viper. “A lot. It isn’t just the Slytherin motif, I _love_ reptiles a lot. Of any kind. But snakes the most.”

“Snakes are symbols of rebirth, immortality, transformation and healing,” Corban spoke up as he walked back towards the dinner table, making Elías turn to him with a nod. “Good animals. I remember Narcissa had one as a child?”

“Yes, Asmodeus, I remember,” Severus smirked a bit. “A ball python. Lucius was fond of him, would sometimes overfeed him.”

“That snake was _massive_ ,” Corban chuckled. “But hognose snakes are so small.”

“Yeah,” Elías sighed, longing. “I really enjoy animals, to be honest, but I’ve been hesitant to get a pet. First it was because of college and now it’s because I don’t know if a cat would be safe in this castle.”

“Owl? Like any normal wizard?” Severus suggested dryly.

“No, I just – snake. One day, I’ll get one,” Elías sighed.

“I enjoy dogs, I’ll be honest,” Corban said. “I used to have a _mastín_.”

“Spanish mastiff,” Elías grinned. “Big ass fucking dogs, yeah? Why don’t you get one?”

“Oh, I… I don’t know,” Corban gave a small little laugh. “Couldn’t take care of a dog now, if I’m honest…”

“And you, Sev?” Elías turned to the potioneer, smiling. “Do you like any animal in particular?”

“I find snakes beautiful,” he admitted. “And… I’m fond of cats.”

“ _Yeah_ , you fuckin’ are,” Elías burst out laughing, Severus rubbing the bridge of his nose as patience left him, Corban looking at the two of them with a bit of a smirk.

“How about,” Severus grunted, standing. “I go get dessert? Dessert would be nice, yes,” he muttered to himself, walking off to the kitchen and Corban glanced at him before turning to Elías, eyes glittering with mischievous intent.

“So,” the man began, tone low so Severus wouldn’t hear them, Elías leaning in slightly. “You met Severus as a student.”

“Yes, and I hated him,” Elías replied, making him chuckle.

“Of course you did,” Corban watched his face curiously. “What changed, then?”

“He actually offered me to help with a highly complicated potion I want to brew, told me that I wasn’t skilled enough for. I’ll admit that I was way in over my head at the time about it, and I accepted his help to get me through Advanced Potions I and II. I’m moving on to II now. And… well, we’ve become friends along the way.”

“I see,” Corban muttered, looking him over. “He’s changed.”

“I know.”

“For _good_.”

“I know, yes.”

“You’re a muggleborn,” Corban pointed out, waving a finger at Elías’ clothes. “And you’re very abrasive. And loud. And yet for some reason, _everyone_ is talking about you. And not just the Malfoy’s and the kids but Severus _too_ , Elías, I am _fascinated_ by whatever it is that you want to bring to the table.”

“Just – friendship, if I’m honest?” Elías shrugged. “I do care about the kids. And about Severus. I don’t have many friends so er… I would actually get to know some more.”

“Mhmm, mhmm,” Corban nodded, eyebrows raised, reading all of Elías’ body language easily. “Severus cares about you, too.”

“I know,” Elías gave a small smile. “Surprising to see, I know.”

“My wife was killed for thinking that she could change us,” Corban told Elías, who paused at the crude wording he used. “What makes you think you can just stroll in and make them see that it’s all lies? Everything they’ve been told?”

“Because they already _know_ ,” Elías replied and Corban leaned back a bit. “They already know it. Convincing won’t take _that_ much. It’s the other habits that need to change, and you know this. Because you’ve already stopped those. You’ve treated me as you would anyone else. Narcissa and Lucius did not.”

“I’m not a saint patron of reformation,” Corban told him, a bit bitterly. “I certain took my time. And I’ve still got no idea about you muggles and muggleborns. But I do not hate you. I haven’t in a long time.”

“That’s good,” Elías finished his glass of water and set it aside. “And maybe it’s good that I can _stroll in_ and give them an example of what a muggle is like.”

“Maybe,” Corban replied, inhaling deeply before sighing, eyes roaming Elías’ face. “Do you have a crush on him?” he asked bluntly and Elías choked on his own saliva, eyes wide. “Oh, I got you now, Narcissa was _right_ ,” he grinned widely and Elías covered his face, dropping his head on the table, heart in his throat.

“This isn’t happening,” he breathed.

“I get it now, I _get it_ ,” Corban laughed, grinning, whispering. “You _fancy_ him.”

“Shhh!” Elías told him, looking at the closed kitchen door. “For the love of _Morpheus_ , don’t let him hear you!” he whisper-yelled. “Please, _please_ , he can’t _know_.”

“I am so happy, I am _so_ happy,” the man grasped Elías’ hands, making the Spaniard blink. “Here I was thinking you wanted to infiltrate under the guise of hating Dumbledore, that the Potter thing was a ruse and he just wanted a spy on us but _no_ , it’s just a _crush_.”

“I’m glad this is amusing you,” Elías mumbled, miserable. “You can’t tell him.”

“I _won’t_ ,” Corban promised, his face looking different as the happiness reached his eyes. “Oh, he deserves this. He deserves this _so_ much.”

“He doesn’t – _Corban_ , this is not – it’s just –“ Elías struggled to formulate words before sighing deeply. “I’m _so_ bad at hiding my feelings, he probably _knows_ already.”

“That’s _bollocks_ , he’s clueless,” Corban beamed. “I haven’t met any person with a crush on Severus, this means that you actually want to _help_ him. Is – are you the one that suggested therapy to him?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded and Corban nodded, as if he already knew.

“I knew it, I _knew_ it,” he chuckled. “Merlin. This is _good_. Alright, Elías, I’m in.”

“You’re… in?” Elías blinked, confused. “In on what?”

“On helping every one of my friends,” he stated, pointing at the kitchen door. “Starting with Severus.”

“Oh,” Elías felt a bit of elation, shoulders relaxing. “Oh, I – that’s actually very nice? Thank you,” he laughed a bit, a previously unknown weight in his stomach lifting. “Is – it’s not like this is a charity event and I’m doing it just to feel better, it’s just… that… if I see something unjust and I can _do_ something about it…”

“I know,” Corban said softly. “I know, I… I stayed in the sidelines. And watched for the longest time. I’m not…” he laughed bitterly. “I’m a recovering alcoholic, let me be honest. And recovering is being too kind. But I want them all to seek help the way Severus is, now.”

“Me too,” Elías said quietly. “Severus is doing very well.”

“I’m proud of him,” Corban nodded and he opened his mouth to add something else but the kitchen door opened and Severus walked out with three plates floating after him, the cake perfectly cut and presented. “Well, well, do my eyes fool me? Is that something sweet?”

“I indulge from time to time,” Severus rolled his eyes.

“No, you don’t,” Elías said, glaring until the plate gently rested in front of him. “I can never get the presentation done right. This is amazing, Sev.”

“Thank you,” he replied calmly. “I hope you two had your share of gossiping about me behind my back while I was gone.”

“Plenty,” Elías laughed, looking over at Corban, who threw a little wink his way.

“I see,” Severus sighed, seemingly more fond than annoyed and Elías felt like, for once, he could actually achieve a real change.


	49. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!! So one of the things that I've decided to do, in view of how lore-heavy this fic is getting, is make a little blog with all the things that I wanted to add or change, with my own drawings to accompany them, hopefully! The discord server (Psst! Join us here!! https://discord.gg/rnhcy6s) has been a lot of help with these things, to be honest, and I can't wait to show you! Also, I've decided that I might have to split this story into years, since apparently, it's gonna get SO long that it's gonna be a bit of a hasstle for readers to go around it. Don't worry, though, I'll still update frequently!
> 
> Also, this chapter was SO much fun to write, guys! I hope you like it as much as I did!
> 
> Songs in this Chapter:  
> \- Color by paniyolo
> 
> Trigger warnings:  
> \- Child abuse discussion

“So… did I pass?”

Elías looked up from his desk, blinking at Oliver, his corrected essay in his hand, watching Elías with wide eyes. Monday morning and it was the day before the Easter Holidays began and Elías could see the nervousness in everyone at the class – it was Seventh Year and they were all on edge, waiting now for their grades, seeing if they could take certain N.E.W.T.s. Oliver was one of them, on the edge between failure and success in Astronomy, and the entire Gryffindor side of the class was staring at Elías, awaiting the answer.

The professor stood, walking over to the Quidditch captain with a small smile, star map rolled in his hands, bapping the boy on his head.

“Yes, Mr Wood,” he told him, chuckling. “You’ve passed Astronomy.”

The entire classroom _exploded_ into cheers and Elías laughed as Oliver was hoisted by half his team, every Gryffindor piling on him, Angelina even kissing his cheek.

“Class, class! Calm down!” Elías laughed, trying to reign over the rowdiness of these teenagers. “Go! Come on, leave! Happy holidays, I will see you when they’re over!” he dismissed, watching them all leave through the stairs, their celebration echoing through his entire tower, making Elías laugh with a little grin. Oliver deserved it – he’d worked so hard to get his grades back up and now he could focus on his Quidditch and his N.E.W.T.s.

Elías couldn’t really believe that the second term was over, smiling to himself as he began to put away all the tools around the classroom, making sure they were inside the supply closet as the high noon sun shone down to the top of the Astronomy Tower. Pulling out his wand, Elías waved it to open every window at the roof of the tower, letting in all the fresh air, parting the thick curtains as well. He also began to play some music, uncaring that the classroom door was open and would let it out. This hour had been the last before holidays.

Tomorrow morning, the Hogwarts Express would take the students back to King’s Cross and Elías would step into _El Rompido_ through the chimney and enjoy his Semana Santa in Cartagena with his family. But before that, he had a few important things to do.

Such as giving Sirius a few things to make up for how he’d been avoiding him for over a week – a good, heavy dinner, dessert to go with it, another cartridge game and also lending him his own acoustic guitar to pass the time.

He was finishing putting some astrolabes into the closet, standing on his tiptoes to reach the shelf when a familiar scarred hand grasped the tool and placed it where it ought to be, Remus hovering over Elías with a little smile, Elías beaming at him.

“Hi,” Remus watched Elías as his heels touched ground once again. “So. Holidays begin.”

“Yes!” Elías grinned, turning around to face him. “Oliver passed my class! And so did Theo, Sandra, Will Bucksworth and Neville! I’m so happy!”

“They also passed mine,” Remus beamed, stepping back so Elías could close the closet door. “Everyone’s on high energy today, my last class was with Seventh Year Slytherins and Hufflepuff and they nearly broke the wall when they got out of the classroom!”

“I know, right?! Same with my class!” Elías laughed loudly, hands moving to grip Remus’, spinning him around, the man having to duck to do so but complying with Elías’ nudge to the rhythm of the song playing. “Tonight you’re coming with me to San Fernando so we can make a big dinner for Sirius, yeah? It’ll be great! I’ll even show you how to bake a pie!”

“That sounds delightful,” Remus confessed, chuckling. “But let me remind you that after lunch we have the staff meeting.”

“And I also have a lesson with Severus,” Elías said, remembering and Remus looked surprised.

“Lesson? Weren’t they on Fridays?” Remus asked.

“Well – these are dueling lessons,” Elías gave a sheepish grin and Remus nodded, looking serious.

“That’s something that you should definitely learn. I encourage you to,” he told Elías, squeezing his fingers gently, not wanting to crush his rings together. “Though with a wand like yours, it’s gonna be complicated.”

“Oh yeah. I know,” Elías sighed, pulling out his wand, all eighteen inches of it, frowning at the darkened vinewood. “You know, I _still_ wonder sometimes just how this thing hasn’t broken in all the years I’ve had it.”

“I couldn’t handle one so big,” Remus said and Elías snorted, making Remus laugh loudly. “No! Stop it!” he shoved at Elías’ shoulder a bit. “Merlin, you’re _awful_.”

“I couldn’t help myself,” Elías snickered, looking at the runes on the handle for a moment, remembering the way it had reacted to Severus and Sirius before turning to Remus. “Would you like to give it a try?”

“Oh, no,” Remus shook his head, eyes wide. “That would be a disaster. I just know it.”

“Aw, come on, we’ll just throw a _reparo_ to whatever it breaks,” Elías laughed, smiling at him. “You’re used to yours but I am really curious to see how mine reacts to you.”

“My wand is ten inches and much more pliable than yours,” Remus showed it off for a moment, the bright cypress wand varnish shining under the bright light of the day. “Not as… complex as yours, sorry to say,” he chuckled.

“What’s the core?” Elías asked, gently taking it as Remus took the vinewood wand.

“Unicorn hair,” Remus hummed, looking at the runes once more. “Again, nothing like thestral or rougarou hair –“

“Rougarou?” Elías frowned. “Werewolf hair? Who has that core?”

“Severus,” Remus replied and Elías’ eyebrows shot up.

“Holy fuck, really?” he snorted. “How ironic.”

“Rather so, yes,” Remus chuckled, looking at Elías’ awkward grip on his wand. “No, you – you hold it too far from the butt of the wand –“

“I’m used to the center of equilibrium being there,” Elías mumbled, letting Remus adjust his fingers and Elías did a few flicks without magic. “Damn. _Damn_. That’s so fucking weird.”

“Too short?” Remus laughed.

“For sure? I can see this being torture for charms, astronomy or potions,” Elías confessed, frowning before turning to a chair and trying to make it float. But it barely lifted. “Oh, fuck _that_. My wand’s more sensitive.”

“You need strength in every movement with shorter wands,” Remus explained, trying out different grips on the vinewood before finally settling for an elegant hold near the top of the guard. “I’m probably going to break something.”

“Just try it,” Elías laughed and, with a sigh, Remus did.

And surprisingly, the chair floated – a bit aggressively, yes, but Elías had a feeling that it was about the length and rigidness more than the core and wood. Remus was as stunned as Elías, both looking at each other, Elías grinning.

“Hey! My wand likes you!” Elías clapped a bit, turning fully to Remus. “That’s amazing! No one else is able to use my wand!”

“Is that so?” Remus flushed a bit, looking at the runes again, seemingly happy at this new discovery. “Could it be the thestral hair?”

“Maybe,” Elías shrugged, looking down at Remus’ cypress wand, suddenly feeling soft fondness for it. It wasn’t as sensitive as Elías – it was strong and resilient and a little flexible. It took a bit to work with it, strength behind every move, as Remus had said… just like Remus. “I think your wand suits you a lot, Moony.”

He handed it back, Remus also giving Elías his wand, who sheathed it back on its usual holster. Remus gave a small smile at Elías, “Well, I think yours as well. A bit strange, a bit mysterious. Nobody knows how it works. But it works well and it can do incredible things. Just like you.”

Elías gave a sound of happiness and rushed to hug Remus, arms around his middle, pouting, “You’re so nice to meeee!”

“Come on, lunch,” Remus chuckled, patting his back, kissing his temple before parting and moving to the stairs. “I wouldn’t want you to miss another meal because we’re playing with our wands.”

“At least take me to dinner first, Remus,” Elías gasped dramatically and Remus groaned, making Elías laugh loudly. “You put that one on a _silver platter_ , Moony.”

“I agree, but _still_ ,” Remus giggled a bit, shaking his head, lowering the stairs with a slight spring in his step. He was in a _great_ mood, apparently. “I’ll be staying here at Hogwarts to help Padfoot and such but if you owl me, I’ll probably by with my father at the lake house.”

“Oh! For real?” Elías grinned, hand moving to squeeze Remus’ arm.

“Yes, we’re going to be enjoying Easter together,” Remus beamed widely.

“That’s amazing! I’m so glad, Remus!” Elías told him, feeling butterflies swarm his stomach. He couldn’t believe that Remus had once lost sleep over seeing his father. Not with the way Remus hummed, ready for the holidays. “I’ll be fully in Cartagena. I’m – actually a bit worried about Padfoot, Harry, Theo and the others… don’t wanna leave them alone.”

“They’ve Severus here, though,” Remus reminded him and Elías frowned a bit. “Look, I’ll take care of them to the best of my abilities, alright? Make sure they don’t do anything they’ll regret,” he chuckled and Elías gave a lopsided smile.

“Alright, alright, I trust you,” Elías sighed, laughing a bit, passing by hoards of students trying to get to the Great Hall. “So much traffic,” Elías joked as a First Year squirreled between the professors to reach his friend.

“Tomorrow they leave, they’ll want to spend time with their friends,” Remus smiled softly, waving at a few students who greeted the two professors.

“It’s such a nice weather outside, though,” Elías murmured, looking outside, feeling a bit at peace with throngs of students around him, Remus beside him and the sky looking completely blue for once. It made him close his eyes for a moment and simply enjoy the moment, breathing in, thanking his lucky stars that he had the privilege to exist like this.

“Come on,” Remus told him gently, making Elías’ eyes flutter open. “Let’s get some food before you fall asleep standing.”

“It’s just nice here,” Elías laughed, following Remus into the Great Hall, finally escaping the crowd as they climbed up the podium to the staff table. Every single one of the Hogwarts professors was there, including Hagrid and Sybill. Elías happily sat beside Severus, Remus on his other side. “Hey! How was your morning?”

“Busy,” he scowled a bit, looking annoyed. “Everyone is irritably happy today.”

“There’s reason to! Let kids be kids, Sev,” Elías laughed, nudging him, making him cock an eyebrow at him. “Look at it this way, now you’ve a while free of children!”

“Don’t think so,” Severus grunted. “Narcissa invited us both for lunch this Sunday. With everyone else.”

“Oh,” Elías’ eyebrows shot up, excited. “With everyone?! Like – the kids, too?”

“That is the plan,” he nodded. “Would you like to come, then?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” Elías grinned and Remus gave a smile at the two of them. “Oh, that’s so _nice_. Where is it going to be?”

“The Malfoy Manor,” Severus replied, making Elías hum. “The gardens, specifically. It’ll be a _casual_ event but do not let that fool you. Narcissa will want your best within casual.”

“I’d guessed,” Elías snorted a bit but he looked over at the kids on the Slytherin table – Pansy was leaning into Vince, fluttering her eyelashes and the rest of the kids were also doing just so, seemingly begging for something until Vince finally rolled his eyes and finally said something, making all his friends holler loud enough to be heard from the staff table. Elías smiled widely at them. “That’ll be fun.”

“You just want more time with the kids,” Remus pointed out, sipping from his goblet.

“Of course I do! They’re great,” Elías laughed.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, yes?” Severus asked Elías, who nodded. “Then it’s good we’re having the meeting before you see your sister.”

“Oh, don’t _spoil_ it,” Remus told Severus, making Elías look at the two of them like a tennis match, confused. “It’s not fair that Fillius told us before the meeting.”

“It just slipped!” the Head of Ravenclaw called from beside Severus.

“ _What_ slipped?” Elías frowned at them all. “What surprise? What does it have to do with my sister?”

“You’ll see _later_ ,” Remus insisted, glaring playfully at Severus. “Don’t spoil it.”

“He’s going to know _anyway_ ,” Severus rolled his eyes.

“Yes, but I’m sure he’ll be excited!”

“Of course he would be. He’s the type to.”

“Then stop trying to spoil the surprise!”

“Guys, I’m _right here_ ,” Elías laughed, pointing at himself. “So if we could stop talking as if I’m not here, it’d be nice. Whatever the surprise is, I have patience for it.”

“Do you?” Severus snorted.

“No, gimme,” Elías kicked his foot gently and Remus snickered. “You’re all awful and I hate you, just so you know.”

“Of course,” Severus replied, unfazed as the owls began to pour in and Elías moved his plate away just as a letter dropped on the spot where it’d been, making him grin.

“I’m _learning_ ,” he stated, Remus laughing into his hand while Severus just gave him an amused look. Then Elías looked at the Ministry letter and paused, putting his cutlery to the side so he could open it. “It’s from CPS,” he said quietly to the two of them and immediately, Severus and Remus huddled a bit closer to read over his shoulder.

“ _Dear Mr Fernández Oviedo_ ,” Elías began to read quietly so only the professors beside him and Hagrid, also leaning over them three, could hear. “ _We reach out to you through this letter with the intention of discussing case #002493, which began on the 8 th of March…._blah blah blah… _The home of Mr Harry Potter, owned by the muggle family the Dursley’s, has been investigated by your caseworker Ms Nymphadora Tonks on the 20 th of March_… yes, yes, but _where_ is the results?” he scanned the three stupid pages of the letter before Severus reached over and plucked the second one, turning it around.

“ _As of today, we may confirm that we’ve found evidence of negligence, physical and emotional abuse within the home and family…_ ” he spoke, trailing off, eyes on the letter with a growing horror in his eyes, Elías and Remus watching with sad eyes while Hagrid’s hand tightened on the back of Elías’ chair, the wood groaning. “ _… Within negligence we’ve found denial of a proper bed, a proper window, attempt of education denial, evidence of humiliation, intimidation and isolation, along with lack of health care records for the child_.”

“They don’t even have his records?” Elías asked, incredulous, leaning back on his chair and Remus turned to Hagrid, who was shaking. “How – how do you _fuck up so bad_?”

“It goes on,” Severus muttered. “Into… physical and emotional abuse…”

“Well? And what else does it say?” Elías prompted.

“ _Due to Mr Harry Potter’s stay in Hogwarts, we’ve decided that the subject does not need to be immediately removed and thus, further investigation will occur._ ” Severus kept reading, voice a whisper. _“The subject is to attend to another interview in two days’ time, in room 312 of the Department of Child Protective Services. If in this last interview, the interviewer determines that the child is safe, we will proceed with legal action._ ”

“So he was in that home, being abused?” Hagrid asked, anger in his voice and Elías nodded, the wood of the chair almost snapping. “How – how _could they?!_ ”

“Lower your voice,” Severus immediately told the half-giant, who watched Severus with furious eyes. “Not for _us_. For the bloody kid. You think he wants everyone to know what happens at home? Wants everyone to look at him with _pity_ , more than they already do?”

Elías stared at Severus, wide-eyed, for once seeing empathy within the potions master when it came to Harry. Remus was also watching, just as surprised but Elías realized that Severus probably _related_ to what he’d just read. It made his heart shrivel, to think about how Severus hadn’t had a professor that had cared, or just an _adult_ that had cared.

“Mr Potter will be _fine_ ,” Severus assured the other three, throwing the letter back to the table, looking… disturbed. “If Nymphadora is half as competent as her mother, she will end this case in no time. And we can go back to treating Potter just the _same_.”

“I’ll take him in two days’ time to the ministry, then,” Elías murmured, looking at the letter before glancing to Harry, who was watching them back. Hermione’s head was resting on his shoulder, trying to give him comfort just as Ron squeezed his hand and Elías knew that he had probably guessed what was going on.

Elías stood, leaving the rest of his lunch aside and began to walk to the Gryffindor table, very much aware of Dumbledore’s eyes on him but ignoring them anyway. He approached Harry and his friends, smiling at the other worried Gryffindors before he stopped, Harry watching him with those wide green eyes that he’d Seen countless times.

“Good afternoon, Harry,” he spoke softly. “Could I speak with you in private?”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded, starting to stand, his hands shaking a bit and Hermione looked at Ron, the both of them silently communicating.

“If you’d like,” Elías offered, making the Gryffindor pause. “You can bring Ron and Hermione. Only if you’d like.”

“Please,” Harry muttered and immediately, his two best friends stood, knights at the ready to comfort and _be there_ for the boy. Elías felt a bit calmer at the sight and he walked out of the Great Hall with more than a couple eyes on the four of them.

Once the four of them were out of the Great Hall and inside a nearby classroom, Elías closed the door, waving his wand to open the windows, pull away the curtains. Not in darkness, not these devastating but good news.

“I received a letter from the Ministry of Magic, Harry,” Elías told him, Ron’s hand on his and Hermione’s arm around his shoulders, Harry’s eyes wide. “And they want an interview in two days. They’ve determined that yes, there has been abuse happening to you, but you’ve to speak to Tonks one last time before they move into charging the Dursley’s with it.”

“So… what does that mean?” Harry asked, voice sore.

“It means that whatever happens from now on, Harry, you _never_ have to go back to that house,” Elías told him and Hermione let out a sound of relief as Harry’s knees failed him, his friends quickly helping him so he could stay standing.

Elías rushed to him, pulling over a chair, letting Harry sit while Hermione hugged Harry tightly, Ron kneeling by the chair and gripping Harry’s arm tight. The boy was hyperventilating, hand on his forehead, that lightning scar visible between his fingers. He looked on the verge of crying but seemed like he couldn’t and Elías crouched, hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t _ever_ have to go back to them, Harry,” Elías told him softly. “You’re safe now.”

He expected tears. What he didn’t expect was for Harry to throw his arms around his neck and hug him tightly, sobbing, Elías quickly embracing the kid back, feeling his heart slowly bleeding. The Spaniard held Harry tightly, letting him cry it out loudly into his shoulder, relief and happiness exploding from this poor thirteen year old boy who’d had it too hard his entire life.

“You’re okay,” Elías promised him, feeling his eyes water as well, rubbing Harry’s back. “Gods, you’re okay now. Nobody’s ever going to hurt you again, Harry. You _never_ have to go back to that family, that house.”

“You could come with me,” Ron told Harry as the boy pulled away, rubbing his puffy red eyes and turning to his best friend. “I – I don’t know if we’d have much for you, but you could come with us! Mum has been going insane over this, you know that. She’d take you in anytime.”

“I wouldn’t – I-I wouldn’t want to i-impose,” Harry sniffled and Hermione’s chin dropped gently on top of Harry’s head as she hugged him, his hands moving to softly grip her arms. “You – you d-don’t have much.”

“I know but… well, I can ask anyway,” Ron said, smiling at him. “I’d give you everything I have if I could, Harry. You’re my best friend.”

Harry sobbed loudly and threw himself at Ron, the three friends hugging tight and Hermione blubbered a bit as the two boys pulled away only slightly so she could be fully in the hug, the girl clutching at Harry’s uniform.

“I-I would, too, H-Harry! Everything!” she sobbed and Harry gave a laugh, trying to wipe away her tears. “I’d fight t-two trolls! Alone!”

“And I’d f-fight a basilisk again,” Harry sniffled, rubbing his nose.

“And I’d even fight spiders,” Ron grinned, making the other two laugh.

Elías rubbed at his own eyes, trying hard not to cry again, watching the little trio with a wide smile as Ron turned to him.

“Thank you, sir,” he told him, in the way Ron always addressed the teachers of Hogwarts, humbly and respectful. “Can you try and see if Harry could come with my family?”

“Well, that’s something that we have to look at,” Elías said, a bit nasally, giving a little laugh. “I’ll send a letter to your parents and maybe they could come in two days to the ministry with us, yes?”

“Could we come as well?” Hermione asked, eyes wide.

“Maybe _after_ the appointment,” Elías said softly. “Too many people would be unlikely to be able to come to the department. But after that, we could all go for lunch, how does that sound?”

“Like the first time?” Harry smiled.

“Yeah, Harry,” Elías beamed back, ruffling his wild curls, leaving his glasses a bit skewed as he pulled his hand back. “Things will change for the better from now on. I promise.”

* * *

“Oh, boy,” Elías breathed as he sat down on the couch in the staff room, Severus, Remus the firsts to be there, since Hagrid had gone to check on Harry. The Spaniard was rubbing at his eyes, still, feeling too emotional. “That was a wild ride.”

“Is he alright?” Remus asked as he sat next to him, patting Elías’ knee, the Astronomy Professor leaning into him, head on his shoulder.

“He’s _more_ than alright. So relieved,” Elías laughed a bit. “Oh, but Hermione and Ron were so sweet, so good to him? I was _crying_ , Remus.”

“He has good friends,” Remus nodded, giving a small smile. “And sometimes in life, that’s all that matter. He’ll be alright, I think.”

“Can’t believe Petunia went so far,” Severus muttered as he paced in front of the fire, making Elías glance at him, frowning. “Neglect… but physical abuse? As well?”

“Neglect and emotional is fine?” Elías asked dryly, glaring at him.

“No, it’s not,” Severus replied, sighing. “Sorry, this just… surprised me.”

“It didn’t surprise _me_ , and I’ve been here for less than a year,” Elías muttered, rubbing his face, leaning further into Remus, who watched Elías groan loudly. “I haaaaate that it happened for so _long_. I wanna kill them both. Fucking – aunt and uncle. Monsters. Beasts. Brutes. I want them _dead_.”

“Anger doesn’t solve anything,” Remus reminded him, tapping Elías’ nose. “Calm down, Eli. It’s fine now. Harry will have his interview and they’ll be charged and taken to muggle jail, if it all goes well.”

“Hopefully,” Elías sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before looking up at Remus. “Could you give me scritches?”

Remus blinked, “What?”

“Scritches. Can I have someone?” Elías asked. “I need some.”

“A-alright?” Remus laughed and Elías grinned before shifting into his cat form, loafing up on Remus’ lap, eyes closing. “Ah, I see. Just… don’t bite or scratch me, yes?”

“ _Mreow_ ,” was all Elías responded with.

“I don’t trust that, but alright,” Remus chuckled, starting to scritch him behind his soft velvety ears, looking over at Severus, who was looking through the window with a pensive look. Remus gave him a small frown and spoke up, “Are you okay, Severus?”

“Mm?” the potioneer turned to Remus, the frowned. “I’m fine, Lupin. Merely… thinking, is all – where’s Elías?” he startled.

“Oh, here,” Remus lifted the cat the best he could, with his size and Severus rolled his eyes as Elías meowed in protest. “You’re pretty lost in thought. A sickle for your thoughts?”

“No,” Severus replied, walking to the armchair next to the couch and sitting down, Elías leaping off Remus to jump on Severus’ knees. “You’re leaving your fur all over me, Elías, _no_.”

Elías ignored him, moving into a shrimped position on his lap and closing his eyes happily, the professor sighing deeply before his hand moved to scritch him under his chin, Elías’ tail moving so very slowly, curling around his other wrist.

“You’re going to leave white fur all over my clothes and I am going to make you clean it,” he told the cat, Remus grinning at the two of them, his own lap powdered with cat hair. “I don’t even know why I indulge you. Little beast. Dangerous creature.”

Elías chirped, opening his big blue eyes to look at Severus but Severus quickly began to rub his index knuckle by his jaw, making him purr so loudly that Severus was almost startled, Remus laughing at them both.

“You like cats?” Remus asked Severus and he nodded shortly. “Then you’re fine, let him be.”

“What else do you think I’m doing?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Complaining,” Remus chuckled.

“I don’t _complain_ , I’m _scolding him_ ,” Severus scowled, glaring down at Elías as he stretched his paws, claws out, beans parting. “Look at him. He’s enjoying this too much.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Remus grinned, reaching over to thumb at the beans on his back paw, Elías chirping. “Don’t. I deserve it, you’ve also put fur on my clothes.”

“We should clean up before the _Minister of Magic_ comes by,” Severus said dryly and, immediately, Elías shifted back to human on Severus’ lap, the potions master scrambling to grab a hold of his waist before he could fall off to the floor, Elías’ hands gripping the front of his robes.

“The _what_ is _coming_?!” he exclaimed, eyes wide.

“The Minister of Magic,” Severus told him, glaring a bit, knees shifting so Elías wouldn’t need to keep balance. Remus watched with his hand covering his mouth, trying not to laugh. “It’s about what we talked during lunch.”

“What the fuck is going on?! What’s happening?!” Elías asked, turning to Remus. “Did you know?!”

“Oh, I did, Fillius spoiled the surprise,” he grinned and Elías left Severus’ lap, standing, brushing some cat hair off him before Severus quickly waved his wand, getting rid of all the fur. “Thank you, Sev – but what’s going on?! Is it bad?!”

“It’s not bad, just _annoying_ ,” Severus said through gritted teeth.

“It’s not,” Remus countered. “It’ll be fun! Come on, it’ll be so much fun.”

“What _is it?!_ ” Elías laughed, hands on his hips when they heard voices approaching the room, the door opening to reveal, of course, Dumbledore alongside McGonagall, the two greeting the other professors. “What’s going on?” Elías asked.

“Minister is about to arrive,” Minerva replied, smiling brightly. “Oh, how exciting!”

“I’m so confused,” Elías told her, shaking his head but she grasped his arm gently, giving him a bright grin.

“You’ll love it! Your sister has been working with us in this, very closely!”

“My _sister_?” Elías blinked hard, looking at Dumbledore, who had an amused little smile on his lips. “Am I the only one that doesn’t know?”

“Pomona and Sybill are still in the dark,” Remus told him, standing as well, brushing some leftover fur from his pants. “It’ll be fun.”

“But what does _my sister_ have to do with anything Hogwarts?” Elías questioned as more of the staff spilled into the room, baffled by everything. “I swear, if Elena has been going at something behind my back –“

The Minister of Magic walked into the room, then, and Elías went quiet, feeling Severus right behind him, tall enough to watch from the back. McGonagall, next to Elías, gave the Spaniard a bright smile as the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement also walked in, making Elías blink. And, of _all people_ , Ludovic Bagman, the ex-beater of the Wimbourne Wasps, also walked in.

“The hell?” Elías whispered to Remus at his left, who simply grinned.

“Hello everyone!” Cornelius Fudge greeted in that bubbly, happy way he went about, always filling Elías with a sense of relief that he wasn’t a British wizard. This man in office seemed like a waste of money, if anyone asked him. “I see we’re all here, we’re all here?”

“Only Septima left,” Dumbledore spoke up and the ministers seemed to nod, waiting for the last professor. “In the meantime, I’d like to thank all of you for staying here, still. There is a lot we need to cover for next year’s preparations.”

“Fortunately, twenty schools have already agreed!” Fudge spoke up, making Elías’ eyebrows shoot up. _Twenty schools_? What the hell was he talking about. “And Bloeiende _Gronden_ is already working on expanding their grounds!”

“Bloeiende?” Elías whispered to Remus, eyes wide. “The magic school in Maastricht?”

“Shhh,” the werewolf nudged him, smiling, Septima apologizing as she rushed into the room.

“Sorry! Sorry, everyone,” she panted a bit, and Fudge simply gave her a smile as she joined Charity on the sideline.

“Very well! We’re all here!” Fudge grinned, clapping his hands once before rubbing them. “Bartemius, if you would?”

“Gladly, minister,” he nodded, stepping forward, hands spreading a bit. “It is with great honor and enthusiasm, professors of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, that I’m announcing the return of the TriWizard Tournament to Europe.”

Elías gasped loudly and a few of the staff turned to him, the Spaniard gripping Remus’ arm and shaking him with excitement, unable to help the sound of happiness that he made, “Ah!” he squealed, making McGonagall laugh. “Oh my Gods!”

“Indeed!” Fudge grinned at the professor.

“There has been an agreement between twenty out of the twenty four European schools, over the past couple of months, and they have all agreed to participate within the tournament,” Crouch explained. “My friend here, Mr Bagman and I, have been speaking with different representatives of different countries and it was quite evident that the TriWizard Tournament was a thoroughly brilliant idea that was executed poorly. We shall be changing a few aspects of it but the concept remains the same – a week of celebration! An opening ceremony for wizards and witches of all over Europe to meet each other and know neighbors and also those furthest away! The goblet of fire, which shall choose three champions from three different schools – although this time, an age limit will be placed and only those that are seventeen may participate.”

“That’s wise,” Remus murmured but Elías’ eyes were wide and he wasn’t even listening to the werewolf, his smile making his cheeks hurt.

“The schools of the chosen students shall host two trials each with the help of the other schools!” Bagman spoke up, arms crossed, two bulging guns that Elías was terribly envious of. “And the ministry of each country will help with the grounds expansion the moment that the champions are chosen. The Hogwarts Express will be prepared in case one of our students are chosen – if not, the thestral chariots can carry the representatives of Hogwarts. Two students of each year except First Years. They will get to study abroad in three different schools for the year, under the protection of the government.”

“This is _magnificent_!” Pomona exclaimed, eyes wide. “Bloeiende Gronden was mentioned! Will the opening ceremony take place in Maastricht, then?”

“Yes, indeed, Professor Sprout,” Fudge nodded, a bright beam on his face.

“Oh, all the _flowers_ ,” she sighed dreamily, making Hooch chuckle, nudging her friend, Dumbledore smiling at the Herbology professor.

“Preparations are underway,” Crouch explained to the staff, a bit more serious than Ludo or Fudge and Elías wondered where he’d heard his name before, trying to wrack his brain for the answer. “Hopefully, England can participate this year. An act has to be prepared for the Opening Ceremony, in any case, and we already have our hands full with the Quidditch Cup.”

“Are you leaving the opening act for us, then?” Dumbledore questioned, looking over at Flitwick, who nodded and stepped forward, ready to take on the task.

“If you’d be so kind, Albus, yes,” Crouch nodded, adjusting his cravat. “We’ve got quite the competition this year. Spain and France were notified first and you know the Spanish.”

“Hell yeah, I do,” Elías whispered, smirking widely as his colleagues all turned to look at him and Crouch seemed to notice him, startled. Elías waved a bit. “Hello, minister,” he chuckled a bit, stepping forward.

“You’re a Fernández,” he pointed at him and Elías nodded. “Yes, Ms Fernández spoke of her brother.”

“Of course she did,” Elías chuckled. “My name is Elías and yes, I’m Spanish.”

McGonagall gave a gasp, “Elías! You wouldn’t compete against us, would you?”

“I’m working at Hogwarts, no, Minerva,” Elías told her, hand moving to gently pat her arm. “I’ll work on Hogwarts, minister. I promise I won’t compromise anything,” he chuckled, Ludo smiling at bit at him. “I came to school here.”

“Well, we can always use someone as liaison, in any case,” Crouch spoke gruffly, making Elías nod at him.

“Good for relations, good for it all, I say!” Fudge told everyone. “You’ll be informed of every step taken by the Ministry of Magic regarding the TriWizard Tournament and, hopefully, by September, we’ll be working on the Hogwarts trials.”

“Thank you for your time, minister,” Dumbledore spoke up, the staff giving a polite clap as the three men stepped aside to talk to the Headmaster, Elías turning to Remus and Severus with a wide grin.

“This is amazing!” he gasped, eyes sparkling. “Now I get why my sister was mentioned! She probably set up the first Spanish/French meeting!”

“You’ll have to see her a lot if Altavista is chosen,” Remus told Elías, who suddenly paused, making Severus cock an eyebrow. “You alright with that?”

“Damn, didn’t think of that,” Elías grunted. “Annoying.”

“Of course you’d be excited at this,” Severus grunted, making Elías turn to him. “Such a cumbersome event. I don’t know why it should be made.”

“Be _cause_ , Sev,” Elías told him, hands on his hips, glaring at him. “Meeting people from other countries, learning their culture, their language, their people – that’s so important! It expands your horizons and makes you much more open than you normally would be! Such an international event shouldn’t have been cancelled, people should’ve just taken measure to make it safer, like they did just now! This is a multicultural event and not just I, but all of us get to enjoy an entire week of gastronomy, dancing, singing and fun!”

“It’s not fun for everyone,” Severus rolled his eyes and Elías huffed.

“Well, _we_ ,” he began, moving between Severus and Remus, his arms looping around their elbows firmly. “Are going to have _so_ much fun. Yes? We’ll go about to meet people from all over Europe! And hopefully, Hogwarts will have a chosen champion and we’ll get to cheer on our talented and bright students!”

“Hopefully not a Gryffindor,” Severus said and Remus laughed, making Elías giggle.

“That’s _some_ spirit, I guess,” Elías snorted, starting to pull them out of the staff room when the Minister of Magic called his name, making him turn.

“Fernández, yes?” he smiled, making Elías nod politely, watching Fudge as he extended a hand. Elías shook it, firm and professional. “And Mr Lupin, Mr Snape. I can see you all get along, very well, very well, we need _all_ the positive feedback we can get.”

“Ah,” Elías said so eloquently, realizing that he’d probably be used to campaign just how great Britain got along with Spain, probably to push a campaign or something out to the European Council of Magic. Ugh. “Yes, I… get along with my peers.”

“Your sister spoke very well of you,” Ludo Bagman said, walking forward, making Elías flush a bit. “She said you’ve outstanding musical skills.”

“She did?” Elías blinked, trying to picture his sister singing him praises and coming up with that one time she smacked him after he pulled out his tooth with a string, bleeding all over the carpet. He almost laughed. “Er… I’ve got… _some_ musical skill.”

“Will you work with Mr Flitwick, then?” Fudge smiled and Elías frowned a bit.

“Wait, isn’t… this supposed to represent the U.K.?” he asked, looking between the three men. “I have musical talent but we can find _anyone else_ that truly knows the U.K.? Like an Irish singer or a –“

“Well, we leave it in your hands,” Crouch determined, making Elías almost recoil. He hadn’t _accepted_ but before he could even complain, Fudge was already leading the men out of the room, making Elías stare incredulously at their backs.

“What?” he breathed, furious, eyes crisp with anger. “Just like that? They don’t care?”

“They care about winning the cup,” Severus told him, unimpressed. “They do not care about the things you do, Elías. I thought that much would be obvious.”

“But the Opening Ceremony – that’s the _best_ part of the TriWizard Tournament,” Elías muttered, feeling a bit hollow that they just _ignored_ the importance of it. “And they leave two professors in charge of it? But what funds do we have, what sources are we reliant on? What if I’m _busy_ with a CPS case?”

“It’s okay, lad,” Fillius spoke up, making Elías turn to him. “Leave it to me, it’ll be fine.”

“No! No, I’m not just going to leave you with all the weight!” Elías exclaimed, drawing the attention of the rest of the staff, including Dumbledore. “You know what, Fillius? You and I aren’t capable of representing the U.K. but we _will_ find someone who will! And we’ll make it the best damn Opening Ceremony of all!”

“That’s the spirit,” Remus grinned, hand moving to pat Elías’ back.

“I’ll start looking, then,” the Charms Professor smiled at Elías. “Thank you. We can work together to make something the Founders would’ve been proud of.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” McGonagall moved close to them, happiness in her face. “We will show the best Hogwarts can do!”

* * *

Once the meeting over preparations and trial ideas was over, Elías, Severus and Remus walked out of the staff room, the latter looking particularly exhausted since he’d been the one to propose the maze. Everyone had grilled him with questions and he looked like he’d regretted giving out an actual good idea.

“Personally, I like the crown trial,” Elías spoke up as they walked through the halls of Hogwarts, most of them empty as the kids all stayed outside, in the courtyard and gardens to enjoy the sun out. “That seems like a fun idea.”

“The Forbidden Forest would be good for it,” Remus admitted.

“Dangerous,” Severus spoke up. “This whole thing is _dangerous_.”

“And fun,” Elías added. “Come on, there’ll be so many people to prevent any real damage. Governments and officials and trainers and just – _so many people_. It’ll be fine, Sev.”

“I don’t like it,” the professor insisted, sighing as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what Albus is thinking. The amount of time and effort and magic that we’re going to need to be put into the castle if Hogwarts is chosen –“

“It’ll benefit the kids, stop complaining,” Elías hipchecked him. “ _I_ think it’s a great idea.”

“Of course you do,” Severus turned to him, slightly amused. “You love new things and changes.”

Elías smiled at him, always so surprised to see Severus knowing him so well.

“That I do,” he winked at him before turning to Remus. “And you?”

“I think it’ll be interesting,” he said, neutral, and Severus rolled his eyes as Elías pouted. “It’s the truth! I don’t know yet how it’ll go about. I haven’t read much on the subject.”

“It’ll be a disaster,” Severus declared.

“It’ll be wonderful!” Elías countered and Remus just had to laugh, watching them both with a grin. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just. How you both said it? It’s impressive that you two are such good friends, is all,” Remus chuckled.

“I know, but he’s a sweetie,” Elías wrapped his arms around Severus’ elbow and hugged him, making the man grunt in protest. “See? Harmless!”

“We’re starting the dueling lessons in a moment, do not think me harmless,” Severus warned him, making Elías look up at him with sparkling eyes. “You get _too_ excited for dangerous things.”

“I enjoy some excitement in my life,” Elías defended.

“Good luck with that lesson,” Remus told Severus, amused, and Severus glared at him as Remus parted ways, moving onto the stairs towards his office. Elías waved bye at him and turned to Severus, stepping a bit back so the potions master could breathe.

“So! Where are we going?” Elías asked curiously.

“To the Duel Room,” Severus replied, as if it were obvious and Elías blinked.

“It still exists?” he asked, surprised. “I searched for it when I was a kid here –“

“It’s closed up. It opened last year, when Lockheart tried to make a _Dueling Club_. You can guess how that went,” he scowled.

“Wasn’t he a fraud?” Elías frowned. “You told me he was, why would he open a club if he had no idea?”

“Because he was an absolute _idiot_ , that’s why,” Severus rolled his eyes hard, walking through the second floor towards two double doors that – they hadn’t _been there_ the other day, had they? Had Elías not noticed them? “I spoke with Dumbledore and he was fine opening this room, as long as only you and I use it.”

“Dumbledore let you?” Elías cocked an eyebrow.

“He might be a war general with an army of children,” Severus said, taking out his wand to unlock the doors. “But he doesn’t just want to make your life impossible, Elías. He doesn’t hate you, I think.”

“No, I just hate _him_ ,” Elías sighed. “Even if I do know he does his job more or less competently, compared to other people.”

The double doors parted in front of them and Elías walked into the room, eyes wide, hearing his every step echo as his eyes took in the domed ceiling, the stars painted on it, the famous duels depicted across the walls. There were scars of fighting and a long dueling podium in the middle of the room, crowded by benches where the public could sit, also painted in a deep blue. Elías walked forward, in awe, touching the obvious blast mark on the wood.

“Wow,” he breathed, turning to Severus with a smile. “This place is gorgeous.”

“We won’t be dueling anytime soon, but I thought I’d get you acquainted with this room,” Severus explained walking over to Elías, looking at him. “We’ll start with the most basic of dueling and move on from there. Some rules, reviewing the spells you know, the different dueling schools, non-verbal casting and then we’ll finally move to combat.”

“Why don’t _you_ make a Dueling Club?” Elías asked.

“Because I hate children,” Severus replied, watching Elías with an obvious look.

“Right. Of course,” Elías snorted a bit, grinning at him. “How could I forget?”

“Are you ready for the first lesson, then?” he pulled out his wand and Elías did as well, nodding, following Severus up into the dueling table, feeling immediately invigorated as Severus waved his wand and a door on the side of the room opened, a dummy floating to the end of the podium. Elías blinked as Severus turned to him. “Stun it.”

“Right now?” Elías asked, surprised.

“Yes, now,” Severus sighed, rolling his eyes, moving aside. “Throw it something, anything. Show me what you’ve got, your style.”

“ _Ho_ , boy,” Elías suddenly felt nervous, thinking of the hold on his wand before biting his lower lip, trying to change it a bit so he could get a better grip. “Er… alright. Okay. Okay, I got this,” he told himself, glancing at Severus, the professor watching him avidly with dark eyes and his arms crossed. “…are you going to be staring?”

Severus rubbed his temple, giving Elías an irritated look, “Just throw the bloody spell.”

“ _Expelliarmo_!” Elías recited, swinging his wand with a hard stop, the red spell impacting on the dummy’s hand, fake wand flying away. “Oh, hey, not bad,” Elías said, grinning, turning to Severus to see him still rubbing his temple. “Uh-oh. That’s not a happy face.”

“It’s _expelliarmus_ ,” Severus began and Elías scoffed.

“Here it is. In the south we say _expelliarmo_ , so excuse me for using my own regional spells, Sev,” he told the man, who frowned a bit.

“Alright. Sorry, then,” he sighed, moving to Elías. “Your pose is too rigid, you _spoke_ your spell, your footwork is a _catastrophe_ and I don’t even want to talk about the way you hold your _wand_ ,” he scowled, starting to walk in circles around Elías, making him flush with a bit of shame, realizing that indeed, he was rigid as a board. “If you want to duel, you do _not_ want to be broadcasting what you’re throwing to your enemy. Non-verbal spells are a _must_.”

“Okay,” Elías sighed, nodding.

“We’ll start with your footwork,” Severus stopped in front of him, facing Elías. “…and your entire pose.”

Elías moved into the position he’d used before and Severus nudged at his feet, frowning, “Feet further apart. If you lose balance, it’s over. Make sure that you’re grounded and you’re able to physically dodge if needed – I will not permit you to dodge until later on in these lessons but you’ve to build a foundation for it. Feet apart. Further. There, good, turn your right foot a bit? To the right, yes, good. You’ll need to get used to this stance.”

“Okay,” Elías nodded, trying to burn this footwork into mind.

“Next, your hips,” Severus explained. “Parallel to your feet. You must use your _body_ , not just your arm, to throw a shielding spell against a powerful attack. If it’s just your arm, you risk making it too small or missing the attack completely.”

“So if I throw a _protegio_ , I –“ Elías tried to make a full body movement and Severus shook his head, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t just _flail_ ,” Severus sighed, moving a bit further down the table, taking off his outer robes, leaving him in his tunic and pants, _thoroughly_ distracting Elías as he threw it to the wooden benches at the sides, the light of the window at the other end of the room marking his slender profile, Elías’ gay little heart skipping a beat. It wasn’t _fair_ that Severus was this elegant.

Once he was at the other end of the table, Severus lifted his wand, getting into perfect position, his foot position impeccable and his right hand behind his back. French. That was a French style, Elena used it.

“Throw a spell at me,” Severus commanded and Elías hesitated, making him sigh. “It’ll be _fine_ , Elías. This is to showcase how a _protego_ should be done.”

“I know, just –“ Elías frowned a bit, sighing as he got into a clumsy position. “I know I’m gonna have to fight you in these lessons but I don’t like even thinking of hurting you. It makes me feel awful.”

“How sweet,” Severus said before a small blast brushed Elías’ head, making him dodge with wide eyes, the wall behind him smoking. “Your enemies won’t be so merciful.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Elías breathed, heart beating wildly, watching Severus with wide eyes. “ _Sev!_ ”

“Throw a spell at me, damn it!” Severus snarled and Elías swallowing, nodding, flicking his wand and using a non-verbal _confundus_ , Severus easily throwing a shield the right way, using his shoulder to do so. It was a bit too much for the weak little thing Elías had thrown but Elías understood now how to approach.

“Did you see properly?” Severus asked, sheathing his wand into his holster before pulling a silken strap from his pocket, tying his hair back, Elías swallowing as he approached the other professor.

“Yes,” Elías nodded jerkily. “I feel like… it’s gonna take a long time for me to learn a lot of basics. Unlearn habits, yeah?”

“It’s a matter of practicing,” Severus told him, moving a finger from the tip of Elías’ raised want to the guard. “You’ve a wand that also works against you in this field. Shorter wands are excellent for combat, as they permit a bigger input of strength, while long wands are sensitive to movement. One wrong move and it could become too much.”

“You’ve a long wand,” Elías countered, gesturing at the pinewood he used. “And you’re the best Hogwarts has seen.”

“Hardly so,” Severus replied dryly, cocking an eyebrow. “But I practiced. And I know the limits of my wand when it comes to dueling, both defense and offense. I know my style of dueling, and various others so I can adapt to whichever benefits me both.”

Elías nodded, listening to him before biting his lip, curious, “…what’s the most often used, in Spain?”

“ _The True Art_ ,” Severus replied, making Elías’ face light up.

“ _La Verdadera Destreza_ ,” he whispered, grinning. “That’s – that’s also in muggles! Muggles use this school in rapier fights!”

“It involves using only one hand, the other under your cloak or cape. Footwork is very important in this school,” Severus explained. “You visualize a circle between you and your opponent, use off-line footwork to find the best angle to attack and your wand is usually extended straight to your enemy.”

“That’s _fascinating_ ,” Elías gushed, eyes intense. “You use… French school?”

“Sometimes, yes, it’s the easiest to understand,” Severus explained. “I used it here to show you, only. I tend to lean into German style, though.”

“What’s that?” Elías asked.

“Quick and precise. You seize up your opponent and work to neutralize them the fastest way possible,” he explained, moving his hand into a strange position Elías hadn’t even seen in a duel – index and middle knuckles around the top of the guard, the rest of his fingers wrapped around the ornamented handle. “It’s based on speed.”

“Are you fast, then?” Elías asked him, grinning, and Severus gave him a smug look. “I’d actually love to see that.”

“You will. Later on,” he replied, turning to Elías. “For now, I am going to show you the French School of dueling. Easiest, good on beginners and doesn’t have an obvious weakness that other schools might exploit.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded.

“Get back on the right footing,” Severus waved his hand, arm behind his back, pacing once more around Elías, the Spaniard obeying, only needing some correction this time, Severus’ toe nudging his heel forward. “Hips,” he commanded next and Elías complied again, making Severus sigh, moving behind him. “ _Hips_ , Elías.”

And his hands came down to Elías’ body, turning him a little, those lithe, warm fingers wrapping around his waist so he could show Elías the right stance. Elías felt his mind go completely _blank_ and a deep heat settled between his legs, making him flush. Severus… had very long fingers. Big hands. Big _hands_.

“Right,” he said, strangled as Severus finally stepped back. “Like this?”

“Decent enough,” Severus sighed, his hand moving to the small of Elías’ back next before the other one – _oh fuck_ –

The other one moved to the center of Elías’ chest, around his side, under his arm. He pressed his palm to it, fingers brushing Elías’ collarbones and Elías preyed that he couldn’t feel the frantic beating of his heart, eyes wide.

“Like _this_ ,” Severus hissed into his ear and Elías nodded, gulping. “Stop being so nervous, you’re too tense, Elías. Forget about Potter and concentrate on this.”

“Sorry,” Elías mumbled, breathing in and out slowly until he felt his heart calm down. Thankfully, Severus was assuming it was leftover stress and not the fact that Severus was _touching Elías all over_.

“Better,” Severus nodded, arching Elías’ back a bit before moving Elías’ left arm behind his back, pressing on his palm to loosen up Elías’ fingers. “No fists. No tension. Not now. Looseness is ideal.”

“Yes,” Elías muttered, letting his body relax enough. Not fully but _enough_.

“That’s it, _that’s_ it,” Severus nodded, moving now in front of him. “Chin up. In any scheduled duel you’ll have, honor should be your priority.”

“What?” Elías turned to him, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” he frowned. “Honor matters.”

“Like _hell_ ,” Elías replied, hands on his hips, turning to Severus. “You guys are _British_. Honor, my _ass_. You invented piracy!”

“The Spaniards made _la picaresca_ ,” Severus said dryly.

“Hell yeah! I’m not gonna play _fair_ or whatever is considered fair in a fight! I’m going for the fucking eyes if I’m against someone who wants to _murder me_!” Elías threw his hands up. “What does honor have to do with any of this?!”

“It means nobody will throw a spell at your back,” Severus snapped at him, dead serious and Elías’ jaw clicked shut. “If you ask for a duel and your enemy says _yes_ , you will fight them in a clean, honorable _fight_. Nobody else will intervene, nobody else will do _anything_ unless you’re killed or you kill your opponent. If you play dirty, the rest will, as well.”

“Do you play dirty?” Elías asked, watching Severus intensely.

“Yes,” Severus easily answered. “Do not ever expect me to play fair. When I duel, I do it to win. I will not go easy on you. I will not hold back. I will not be _kind_.”

“Good,” Elías said, gripping his wand tight. “I don’t want you to… but I understand that others whom I may encounter will have honor in mind. Thank you.”

The potioneer simply nodded, flicking his wand to put the dummy back on the end of the table, stick of wood in hand.

“Hit it,” he commanded, stepping back and Elías got into position. “Correct your shoulders. Right foot back. Arch your back more – _more_. There. Now move.”

“ _Confundo!_ ” Elías called, using his hips and shoulder for the blast and with surprise, he saw a much stronger, much more coherent spell hit the dummy right on the head, sending it spinning back, out of the table, crashing onto the floor. “Ah!” he gasped, turning to Severus, who cocked an eyebrow at him, smirking. “You were right!”

“I denote surprise,” Severus frowned, suddenly, looking _offended_.

“No, no, no!” Elías laughed, quickly approaching him, patting his chest. “It’s just – I’m so fucking bad at dueling, I wasn’t expecting… such a first improvement.”

“That’s only a first step,” Severus told him, eyes glinting with the ambition of the Slytherin within him, Elías started as Severus’ hand moved to his chin, lifting it, looking at Elías with intensity. “When I’m done with you… you’ll render them all useless.”

“Oh, you _enjoy_ teaching,” Elías told him, smirking back at him. “I know the answer now.”

“No,” Severus replied, hand falling away from his chin before pulling out his own wand, watching Elías as he stepped back, behind the Spaniard. “I enjoy teaching _you_. Seeing you improve in things you are _dastardly_ awful at.”

“Oh, I see,” Elías laughed, grinning at him over his shoulder.

“In any case, you’ve still got a long way to go,” Severus told him, now deadly serious, hands behind his back after setting the target back into place, perfect posture, watching Elías. “Get into position. Hit it again.”

* * *


	50. A Black & White Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Thank you so, so much for all the lovely comments you've been leaving! I was a bit doubtful that you would like the lore I've been adding, as it's not really perfect and I'm still trying it out a bit but you guys seem to love it!! Thank you!!
> 
> We're at chapter 50, can you all believe it?? :0
> 
> Join us on discord! https://discord.gg/rnhcy6s
> 
> Trigger Warnings of this Chapter:  
> \- Mention of sexual assault  
> \- Mention of ableism  
> \- Mention of cult tactics and just cult stuff  
> \- Very strong fight at the end, if that makes you feel awful, tread with care  
> \- Mention of death in a very hurtful manner

By the time Elías arrived at Remus’ rooms he was _exhausted_. His right arm was aching and he was still running through footwork in his head, which was spinning a bit. Thankfully, they were heading to San Fernando and the sea breeze, cooking and music would help him clear up his mind a bit.

Knocking on the door, Elías sighed, leaning into the frame, pulling the tie out of his braid and shaking out his hair so it’d breathe a little. Remus didn’t care about his hair so it was nice to just let it loose. The door opened, revealing Remus with a small smile, “Hey!” he greeted. “How did it go?”

“Better than I expected but he’s _brutal_ ,” Elías’ eyes widened and Remus chuckled.

“I expected it,” he walked out, closing the door behind him. “He _looks it_.”

“Just – repeat this! Do it again! No, another ten times! Now twenty!” Elías groaned, rubbing his shoulder. “I mean, I’m thankful! I just didn’t expect a _drill sergeant_. I did improve already, though, but that’s expected for the first lesson. I know a bunch of things now that I didn’t know before the class.”

“That’s the important part, that you’re learning,” Remus told him, nudging his shoulder with his own.

“Yes, Professor Lupin,” Elías giggled, making Remus laugh. “So we’ve to go to market. There’s no food at home, at least not enough to cook something nice for Padfoot.”

“Alright,” Remus stretched a bit, his arm elbow popping a bit. “Well, it’ll be nice to cook there one last time before we leave for Easter.”

“Don’t forget about this Saturday,” Elías reminded him, tapping his arm, passing by a couple Gryffindors on their way to their tower, who waved at the two professors, bidding them goodnight. Elías and Remus waved back, the former’s hand moving to high-five the fifth years before turning to Remus. “ _We_ will cook for your father, yes? No letting him get away with another full-course meal!”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Remus smiled at him. “We’ll be at the lake house by then, so you know already where to go, yes?”

“Yep,” Elías nodded, beaming back at him. “And tomorrow I see my family!”

“Yes, you do!” Remus grinned. “Excited?”

“For sure,” Elías sighed happily, stretching his arms up, eyes bright. “Especially because we’re gonna drive there! I’m picking up Juan, Blanca and Luis and since Jaime is also in San Fernando already, I’ll also drive him.”

“Car will be full,” Remus laughed, climbing up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, Elías next to him. “How many of you are going?”

“Oh, it’ll just be like, maybe twenty of us?” Elías said, frowning as he thought and Remus choked. “Like, my sister and parents, a few cousins, Paco and his family are coming – little Marquitos! He’s so small, Remus, he’s still got the fat little arms and leggies!” he sighed, eyes starry. “He’s _so cute_! Also, I forgot, but Paco’s dogs are also coming!”

“That’s a lot of people,” Remus said, incredulous.

“Nah, we can all fit,” Elías waved it off. “We’ve rented a big place in Cartagena, we’ll be _fine_.”

“Do you have to share room?” Remus asked curiously, opening the door to Elías’ bedroom, the Spaniard ducking under his arm to go inside.

“Yep! I share with Jaime,” Elías nodded. “Since his girlfriend isn’t coming, we’ll just share.”

“Jaime is… your _almost_ brother, right?” Remus asked, trying hard to remember as Elías disappeared into the chimney and when he came back out on the other side, he was met with _chaos_.

Remus startled at the people in the house, eyes wide as Elías was pulled into a hug by whom he knew was Blanca, her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, shrieking something in Spanish as two other young but _much taller_ boys wrapped Elías into a hug, ruffling his hair and shoving him about, the Astronomy Professor shouting something else in Spanish.

“Wait, wait, guys!” Elías laughed, choking a bit as one of the guys’ arms went around his neck to pull him into multiple cheek kisses. “I’m with my friend! Guys! ¡ _PESAOS_!”

“It’s okay,” Remus laughed as the three cousins pulled away and he immediately saw that they were indeed family, their faces so similar. He already knew Blanca and he was guessing these other two were Juan and Luis, her brothers. “Hi.”

“Hey, man!” the tallest one greeted, accent so thick. “Blanca told us about you!”

“What are you _doing_ here?” the other smirked at Elías, making him flush. “Ooooh, I’m telling Elena!”

“No, you’re _not_ ,” Elías snarled, smacking him up the head. “You little _shit_ , we were going to cook dinner and bring it back to the castle for the staff!”

“ _Claaaaro, siiiiii_ …” Blanca giggled into her hands and Elías took her glasses off her face, making her gasp. “Give them back!”

“Tough shit,” Elías replied, keeping her at arm’s length and Remus watched, amused, as the other two just laughed as well. “Here you go, you _idiot_. Did you at least get groceries?”

“Nope,” she grinned.

“ _Capullos_ ,” Elías scoffed, turning to Remus. “These are Juan and Luis, my _little cousins_.”

“He makes an emphasis because he’s the shortest of the family,” Juan pointed out, the tallest of them all, nearly as tall as Remus. From what Elías had told him, he was _eighteen_.

“Shut the _fuck_ up,” Elías punched him in the gut, making him double over with a groan and a laugh. “Go get groceries.”

“Why should we?” Luis groaned, leaning into Elías.

“Because Remus and I are cooking for the three of you as well! So chop, chop, off you all go!” Elías waved at the cousins when the door of the hallway opened and in came _another cousin_. Remus was starting to lose count.

“ _¿Pero qué cojones está pasando?_ ” a young, blond man asked, glasses perched on his nose over Elías’ same blue eyes. He, unlike the people Remus had so far met, did not wear outrageously fashionable clothes, instead just doned some jeans and shirt, making Remus feel much better about how casual he himself was.

“JAIME!” Elías shouted, rushing to hug him and Jaime embraced him back, the two cousins even rocking a bit, making Remus feel a bit like an intruder. There were _so many people here_ , he hadn’t accounted for that. And he was sure Elías hadn’t, either. “What are you doing here?!”

“Elena came down from Madrid so I just followed, why are we talking in English?” he asked, frowning when he finally noticed Remus. “Who’s this?”

“Be _nice_ ,” Elías punched his arm lightly. “This is Remus.”

“Oh. Ah! Okay, okay!” he nodded, moving to shake Remus’ hand, the professor giving him a small smile. “Yeah, I’ve heard about you. I think. Did I make that up?”

“No, you didn’t,” Elías laughed. “We were going to make one last dinner for the staff before holidays but apparently, we’re cooking for all of you.”

“Nice, free dinner,” he grinned and Elías pointed at the door.

“No, you’re going with _el trio calavera_ to go get groceries,” he told Jaime.

“No, I’m not,” Jaime replied, turning around and about to go into the other side of the house when Luis walked over, grabbing him by the collar. “No, you can’t make me!”

“You’re the only one who drives!” Luis groaned. “Otherwise we’ll have to walk!”

Jaime sighed, rubbing his face, looking at Elías, “Can’t _you_ go?”

“You’re invading my house,” he replied.

“It’s not your house!” the entirety of the cousins chorused but Elías raised a finger.

“I’m _cooking_ ,” he replied and Jaime finally groaned.

“Fine. Give me a list and I’ll take them all to get food,” he grunted and Elías gave him another hug, Jaime’s hand patting his head.

“I’ve missed you,” Elías told him and Jaime seemed to soften up, then immediately rolled his eyes and shoved Elías away, making him laugh. “I’ll make that list, hold on –“

The wizard moved to the kitchen, sending Remus a smile, grabbing a notebook and pen and starting to write as Jaime disappeared outside and Blanca suddenly leaned on Remus, startling the man a bit.

“So, hello,” she grinned at him, mischievous and with intent. Remus was reminded that this woman was Elías’ _family_ and this could mean nothing good. “You’re here again.”

“I am,” he chuckled. “Thought Elías would need help with cooking.”

“Something’s cooking alright,” Luis muttered and Juan burst out laughing. “So you’re going to be around a lot, right?”

“Er… I don’t know about that,” Remus laughed, rubbing his neck, realizing he was in the lion pit with these three younger, astute Fernández’s.

“Are you the one coming later to Cartagena?” Blanca asked him.

“No, no, that was another one, right?” Juan asked, crossing his arms. “That dickhead professor he told us about.”

“He’s not a dick anymore, though,” Remus told them and three pairs of blue eyes snapped to him, making him a bit nervous. “He’s been a good friend to Elías.”

“Good,” Luis said tightly, glancing over at Elías’ back further from them. “We were wondering if we had to kick his ass.”

“We would,” Blanca told Remus, still leaning into him and Remus realized that this is where Elías’ touchy-feely nature came from, how he was always craving touch and ruffling kids’ hair and hugging and pulling at everyone. It was just the way his family worked. “We _could_.”

“We should,” Juan added and Remus laughed a bit.

“Honestly, it’s fine,” he assured, smiling at them. “It’s nice to see that Elías’ family cares for him. He’s talked so extensively about all of you.”

“Good!” Blanca grinned.

“Alright, here’s the list,” Elías told them, voice a bit authoritative, handing a piece of paper to them, Luis grabbing it with an innocent little grin. “If you pick wine, make it _red_ , okay? And if you pick any other drink, make sure there’s enough for _everyone_. Don’t just grab a bottle of tequila so we have to fight over who gets the most.”

“You got it,” Luis winked at him, giving him fingerguns and Luis kissed Elías’ temple, Blanca moving away from Remus so she could hug her cousin. “See you later!”

“And bring tequila, not rum, you _fiends_!” Elías called, the three siblings just laughing as they walked out, leaving the house in blessed silence, finally. Elías put his hands on his hips, nodding a bit before turning to Remus. “Sorry about that. That must’ve been a lot for you.”

“It’s alright,” Remus smiled at him. “It was good to see them. They’re… very similar to you.”

“Oh?” Elías smirked, amused, arms crossing. “How so?”

“High energy, touchy-feely, loud and just… full of laughter,” Remus told him, tapping Elías’ arm. “It was good to meet them. They were very defensive of you.”

“As we all are of each other,” Elías shrugged a bit. “Except Jaime. He’s a bit grumpier but much more chill than all of us. I’m considered tame between my cousins.”

“I don’t want to know the kind of chaos that you’re throwing Severus to,” Remus laughed, following Elías into the garden, where a few cups and an empty pitcher sat, towels thrown over the backs of the chairs. “Do your cousins just… come by whenever?”

“It’s not really _my_ house so like, yeah?” he laughed. “Which can be awkward sometimes but I really don’t mind. I love surprises and I love surprise visits. I’m so happy to see them.”

“It’s strange to think you’re a middle cousin,” Remus told him, helping him clean up the cups left by the others, moving to the kitchen. “You seem like an older type to me.”

“Well,” Elías sighed a bit, starting to clean the cups by hand, taking some soap and a sponge, Remus grabbing a drying towel and leaning into the counter. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew my older cousins more. Jaime is older. So is his brother and my sister. There’s also Paco.”

“But the rest are younger,” Remus pointed out.

“You know, I always thought of myself as one of the younger ones,” Elías’ eyebrows shot up. “But damn, I’m part of the older ones. I never thought of that.”

“You’ve got… big nurturing habits,” Remus told him, grabbing a now clean cup from Elías’ hand and drying it gently. “With the students? You know how to work with them. I’m guessing it’s because of all your smaller cousins.”

“I mean, _yeah_ ,” Elías laughed a bit, smiling. “I… I like kids. Like a _lot_ , Remus. I love playing with them and taking care of them and interacting and seeing them grow and helping kids. Teaching wasn’t my first option but I am _loving it_ , I’m not gonna lie.”

“I can tell,” Remus felt his lips curling as well. “So you… definitely want kids?”

“Oh, for _sure_ ,” Elías nodded quickly, eyes wide. “Fuck, like, I’d _love_ to have kids.”

“Can you?” Remus asked curiously before he paused. “Fuck, was that insensitive?”

“A bit,” Elías sighed deeply, pursing his lips. “I mean, I _could_ , if I stopped taking testosterone for a year, you know?”

“O-oh?” Remus’ eyebrows shot up.

“Yep,” Elías nodded. “But I would rather _die_ than be pregnant. Kudos to any trans man who can but like, holy _shit_ , that’s something right out of my worst nightmares, you know? I’m not _infertile_ , I can become pregnant, but to have a successful pregnancy I’d need to lay off T for a while. Doesn’t mean I _want_ to, though. Adoption is the thing I want to do. Or maybe become a foster parent, if anything.”

“I see,” Remus said softly, wincing. “…sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Elías shrugged. “I never really talk about this stuff with anyone. S’nice to get it out.”

“Personally,” Remus added, voice gentle. “I think you’re very good with kids. Especially teenagers. You got through Liam and _nobody_ had until you put him aside and talked to him.”

“The kid felt like he was utterly unmoved by school, Remus,” Elías said sadly. “Nobody had faith in him, he just needed someone to tell him that he could do it. That’s all. Kids are so delicate at that age, they need all the positive reinforcement they need. It’s all they want, acceptance.”

“I can see that, now,” the werewolf nodded, putting the last cup and the now dry pitcher away, turning fully to Elías. “You’re a good teacher.”

“Thank you,” Elías said quietly, shoulders sinking a bit, looking relieved. “I don’t always know if I’m doing the right thing, getting so involved with people like Theo or Harry. I care about those two boys a whole lot.”

“I think they needed someone like you,” Remus replied.

“Just want them to be okay,” Elías rubbed his jaw and Remus saw immediately what he needed, his arms spreading only for Elías to immediately step into them, hugging Remus back tightly. “Moony, I’ve got you trained,” he mumbled into his chest and Remus laughed.

“Is that so?” he chuckled.

“Giving out hugs so easily…” Elías closed his eyes, gripping the back of Remus’ shirt. “Nnngh, happy. M’happy now. All I gotta do now is train Severus to do the same.”

“Good _luck_ with that,” Remus snorted as Elías pulled away.

“I got him to smile and laugh, I think I can get him to hug,” Elías replied, grinning and Remus felt a bit floaty at the way Elías’ happiness shone in his eyes. He looked so very soft, whenever he thought of Severus and perhaps Remus in his right mind would’ve been jealous but… not when Elías was flushing softly and his lips were curling up into that particular kind of smile. It just made Remus happy that Severus was treating him right.

“Actually,” he said, hand moving to Elías’ chin, tilting it up gently with a beam. “If there’s anyone who can make him do that, it’s you.”

Elías laughed, the sound ringing through the kitchen and Remus was a _fool_ for letting his throat close up and his insides go all melty. He should be over this little crush already, it’d been months since he’d resolved himself to forget it but Elías just kept… doing it. Being himself, unapologetically, wholly, with those blinding smiles and that horrid seagull-like laughter and the meaningful words that always hit Remus like a bludger to the guts.

“So what are we cooking today?” Remus asked, hand dropping, smiling at Elías to break that dream-like moment he’d been staring into.

“Arroz al horno,” Elías explained, starting to roll back his sleeves. “Everyone in my family loves it and I want Sirius to eat a little bit of Spain tonight.”

“Anything you make is wonderful so I trust you with that,” Remus chuckled.

“Sirius wouldn’t happen to have any allergies, does he?” Elías asked, eyes wide.

“Nope,” Remus shook his head, then paused. “Maybe an allergy to responsibility and self-awareness but food allergies? None.”

Elías laughed a bit, “Alright. Good to know because there’s a _lot_ of seafood in it.”

“He does enjoy seafood, don’t worry,” Remus reassured, suddenly laughing. “Oh, that reminds me of that one time we went with Alice and Frank to that sushi place they loved? Back in Essex, it was – we were like, sixteen? And all of us got food poisoning _except_ Sirius, who somehow has an iron stomach. Lily never went back to that restaurant and she told us that she would never have sushi again – which was a lie, of course, because Lily _loved_ sushi.”

Elías grinned, giggling into the back of his hand a bit, “Oh Gods, that sounds _awful_.”

“It was the best summer we ever had, though,” Remus hummed, thoughtful, smiling a bit “Sirius and I were… a bit awkward but I remember going to the lake with all of them. And Sirius finally being away from his house, living with the Potters? We went to Godric’s Hollow a lot. Spent the days away in the grass, the riverbank… Alice would make these amazing tarts and Dorcas would _always_ sneak in and eat two or three before we could get them.”

He felt his stomach clench a little, remembering Dorcas’ face and their hands rising into the air as Marlenne tackled them into the grass, Sirius screaming _fight, fight, fight!_ It’d been so many years since those days but Remus remembered them with so much fondness.

“Sounds wonderful,” Elías murmured, making Remus nod.

“Yes, those days were… were wonderful,” he replied, giving Elías a sad little smile. “But they’re gone, now. And… well, we’ve to move on. Dwelling in the past won’t help anyone, especially me and Sirius. Now we have other things, other people. We’ve got each other – and… well, _I_ have you now.”

“Yes, you _do_ ,” Elías told him, hands moving to Remus’ shoulders, squeezing, making him feel his chest expand at the intense look in Elías’ blues. “We’ll make new memories! Once Sirius is declared innocent and Pettigrew is in jail, we can help him find a home in Godric’s! Harry can go live with him and you can show me the river and the grass fields! And Harry will be able to invited Ron and Hermione and all his friends! You’ll see.”

“I hope so,” Remus said, a bit shaky, his own hands moving to grip Elías’ wrists gently, breathing in deeply. “I really hope everything turns out alright.”

“We’ll have a wonderful summer,” Elías insisted, earnest, hands moving around the back of Remus’ neck, pulling him closer until their bodies touched and Remus _knew_ that it was just how Elías was but he couldn’t help but wonder if Elías still felt something for him as the Spaniard kissed his jaw. “I promise, Remus. I _promise_.”

“I believe you,” Remus sighed, letting his forehead gently drop on Elías’, his eyes closing as he pictured the rolling hills of the English countryside, the soft grass and the gentle rain on the ceramics resting outside to catch the rain. He could even smell the town. He hadn’t been there in twelve years but he felt like he could go back if Sirius and Elías would be there.

* * *

“Noooo, no, no, _listen_ , you gotta –“

“I don’t gotta do _shit_ for you all,” Elías stated, laughing loudly, his cousins crowded, sitting on the dinner table inside in varying postures, with Blanca sitting half on her brother’s chair, half on hers. Jaime was the only one not really participating, writing on a notebook and occasionally drinking from his own margarita, the umbrella perched on the fine glass looking a little silly in his hand.

“But you’re _magic_ , come on!” Luis called as Remus helped Elías pour the rice over the shallow, clay cooking pot, filled with all sorts of delicious smells. It was _massive_ , too, big enough for eight people or so. Remus couldn’t wait to see how it turned out. “You both are! Remus, _tío, venga_ , I bet you can do magic like Elías, too.”

“I can,” Remus replied, amused. The way the cousins said his name was so very different from the way he’d heard it his entire life and it was kind of nice.

“He never tells us anything from the whole wizard magic thingy!” Juan called and Blanca nodded, on her second margarita, eyes on the two wizards. “Come on!”

“Well, what do you want to know?” Remus chuckled.

“He grew up as a wizard,” Elías told the four of them, rolling his eyes. “He’ll know much more. We’re muggles, guys, I couldn’t tell you anything that was like, over the top strange to entertain you.”

“Elena tells us weird French stuff,” Luis defended.

“That’s just the French, though,” Jaime piped up and the laughter that followed didn’t seem to faze him, still busy with his notebook.

“Do you have weird, magic houses?” Juan asked Remus, who gave a laugh.

“I think I’ve a _British_ home. Elías is right, the biggest difference is from nationality,” he told the man, who pouted a bit, _just_ like Elías did. “But we do clean more with magic. And we usually don’t have uh… toasters? I think they’re called?”

“A crime,” Elías stated and the three younger cousins all seemed to agree. “They also don’t have _fucking_ vacuums. They just use _magic_.”

“My life as a teenager would’ve been _so_ much better with magic,” Blanca sighed and received a rag to the face for it. “Hey!”

“No, it wouldn’t. _Cleaning_ should be done manually unless it’s an emergency,” Elías told her firmly as he shut the oven, glancing at the window in it to check that everything was alright before nodding. “Magic shouldn’t be a shortcut. If you’re disabled, I feel like it’s a very good tool. But able-bodied people should _not_ rely on magic to do everything.”

“You’re saying that because _you’ve_ magic,” Juan told him and before Elías could reply, Luis had reached over to grip Elías’ wand from his holster, making Remus tense up but Elías swiftly hooked his ankle on a foot of his chair and sent him to the floor, making Luis groan as Elías leaned down and grabbed his wand.

“Don’t take a wizard’s wand, Luisito,” Elías told him and Juan poked his hand.

“Do a trick,” he told Elías.

“No,” the professor replied, turning to Remus. “You see what I have to deal with?”

“Magic must be amazing to them,” he shrugged. “I see no harm in showing them something nice.”

“You’re _such_ an enabler,” Elías laughed, turning to his cousin Blanca before tapping the top of her head, turning her lovely blond hair into a periwinkle shade, Juan and Luis jumping a bit and screaming their heads off in Spanish, touching Blanca’s hair, who was trying to look into the mirror as Remus laughed. “See? I told you. _I’m tame_.”

“Can you guys scream a little less?” Jaime spoke up, frowning at the three siblings, who all quickly quieted, making him nod. “Thank you.”

“You can go to the office, if you want,” Elías told him, leaning onto the table, smiling at Jaime, who nodded and picked up his drink, giving Elías a small smile. “I’ll let you know when it’s done, dinner, alright?”

“Thanks,” he hummed, walking off and Remus frowned.

“Is he alright?” he asked, turning to Elías.

“Oh, yeah, that’s just Jaime,” Luis told him, sitting down again and shrugging. “Sometimes he needs some space when things are too loud, doesn’t mean he’s sad or anything.”

“He’s in the autism spectrum,” Elías explained, making Remus blink. “…you know, autism? Have you never heard of it?”

“I have,” Remus replied slowly. “Just… never saw someone say it so casually.”

“This is why wizards suck,” Elías stated, looking at his cousins. “The mental health awareness they have is minimum. It’s insane.”

“Aw, man,” Juan sighed, rubbing his nose. “Must be shit.”

“Sometimes,” Remus admitted, sitting down on the table as well when Elías moved to perch on the table. “Since I’ve met Elías, I’m a bit more aware of better mental health habits, I’ve to admit. We wizards just… don’t mind them as much.”

“That’s bullshit,” Juan laughed, shoving at Elías’ shoulder. “He has _the_ worst habits!”

“Hey!” Elías laughed, trying to kick at him, the two cousins starting to grapple a bit. “I might have terrible habits but at least I keep you all in check!”

“He doesn’t sleep, he barely remembers to eat,” Blanca listed with a finger each, making Elías flush, trying to tackle her but Luis kept going.

“He takes care of everyone _but_ himself, he eats too many sweets, _so much sweet tea_ –“

“I’m going to kill every single one of you. With _magic_. And I’m going to make it hurt,” Elías told them all with a glare but none of them looked worried, Luis reaching over to pull Elías to his lap, hugging him. “Let me go! I am the night, I am a dangerous creature!” Elías laughed, flailing, and Remus joined the rest with their laughter. “It’s not fair to call me out like this!”

“He’s your friend, right? He should know this already,” Blanca grinned.

“I do, actually – except the sweet tea part,” Remus said.

“I don’t like the way you Brits do it,” Elías replied, making Remus gasp aloud, eyes wide.

“ _What_?!” he asked, making Elías giggle. “You _take_ that back!”

“I hate tea,” Blanca stated, making Remus turn to her, pointing at her.

“You Spaniards will kill me,” he laughed as Blanca simply smirked, touching her still periwinkle hair.

The rest of the evening went pretty nicely. Little by little, Remus began to feel as if he could understand the other Fernández kids. They were very similar to Elías in a lot of ways – a little vain, a little cocky, ready to laugh and ready to fight only if you were up for it. Remus liked them a lot. And he felt like he’d been welcomed a bit into the family when Juan leaned into him on the table as Elías left for the bathroom.

“Now really,” he spoke, smirking. “Are you dating him?”

“Ah, no, I’m not,” he laughed, smiling at him and Luis slapped the table and extended his hand to Blanca.

“Give it to me. Give me my ten euros!” he called and Blanca groaned.

“Are you for real?” she asked Remus, eyes wide, who was looking at the three of them with surprise. “Not even a little bit? Like – come on! We’ve never seen Elías like this! He never brings his magic friends over! Only once brought someone else and they were dating!”

“He… doesn’t?” he asked, confused.

“Nah,” Juan shrugged. “He had a few back when he went to your British big school and stuff, but he never talked much about them? Never brought anyone and never really talked to anyone outside… us, really.”

“He hung out a lot with us,” Luis told Remus, greedily taking back his ten euros that Blanca slapped onto his hand. “And when he started talking about you, he was kind of… y’know,” he laughed. “A bit too _happy_ about it. We all thought you two were dating.”

“A-ah,” Remus said, embarrassed, rubbing his face. “It’s – no, I’m not – no, no, we’re _not_ dating. I’m _thirty-three_.”

“So?” Blanca asked. “My father’s dating a twenty year old.”

“Yeah, but dad’s a bastard,” Juan replied, rolling his eyes. “He’s not the best example for age difference, Blanqui.”

“Look, you’re both adults, who cares?” Blanca told Remus, who was feeling extremely uncomfortable as Luis looked him over, scanning him the same way that Elena had. “Are you, then? Dating? You can tell us, yeah? We won’t tell anyone,” she grinned.

Oh, Remus knew she’d tell _everyone_ if that was the case.

“I’m sorry, we’re not,” he chuckled, giving her a small smile and she sighed.

“Wait wait, but is _he dating anyone_?” Juan interjected and Remus shook his head. “What’s he been doing in England, then?!”

“Teaching,” Remus replied, laughing.

“That’s _bullshit_ ,” Juan said, pouting. “I liked Grim.”

Remus froze for a moment, his muscles locking as Luis nodded, “Yeah, he was alright.”

“I never actually met him!” Blanca complained, hands on the table, pouting. “How was he? It’s been so long!”

“He was fun, he was nice,” Luis shrugged. “So sad he only came over for like, a single barbeque."

“He did?” Remus asked, unable to help himself as he asked, feeling like this was absolutely something he shouldn’t have heard. Did… they not know? At all? About what happened with Fawley?

“Mhmm,” Luis nodded. “Eli was like, what? Fifteen? Sixteen? Grim came over as a surprise, Elías hadn’t even told us they were dating.”

“That’s why we thought you two would be,” Blanca pouted as Remus felt disgust roll in his stomach. That must’ve been the summer _after_ Fawley… did that to Elías. And he’d just showed up? Out of the blue? In a _family barbeque_? The guy was _sick_. “Because Elías _always_ hides all his crushes and shit.”

“Does he have one?” Juan smirked.

“Not my place to tell,” Remus replied quietly.

“Aw, don’t be like that! Come on!” Luis begged, not able to read just how Remus kept thinking of this barbeque where apparently Grim had introduced himself as _Elías’ boyfriend_. After fucking him over that very same year. His cousins hadn’t noticed, had he been hiding all of this from his family? Did his parents know? Probably _not_.

“I bet it’s the other one, the dickhead teacher,” Blanca said, eyes sparkling as Remus sank into his seat, not wanting to tell these siblings things that Elías had confided him in. “Is it? Oh my God! Is it?!”

“We got it, we got it!” Luis cheered as Elías came back.

“What the hell are you all screaming about?” he asked, looking over at Remus. “What did you do to him?”

“Do you like your old batshit crazy prof?” Juan asked and Elías immediately _glared_ at Remus, who sank further into his seat. “HA! I KNEW IT!”

“I didn’t tell them, I swear,” Remus said desperately to Elías, who rolled his eyes.

“I know, they just get _anything_ out of you,” he sighed, rubbing his temple.

“So you do! And he’s coming over for lunch! Oh, this is _great_ , Elena –“

Elías’ hand rushed to smack Juan over the head, snarling at him in what looked like a very identical impression of Severus Snape himself.

“You will _not_ tell my sister or I’ll let Chiqui know about that excursion in Palma de Mallorca with the slide on top of the car, am I clear?” he snapped, making the three siblings immediately go quiet. “ _Good_. I don’t care if you tell Jaime or Paco or Emilio or even _Carmen_ for all I care but my _sister will not know_. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Elías,” they chorused.

“Good. He’s my colleague, he’s my _friend_ and nothing will come out of there,” the professor spoke, walking to the oven and checking in on the arroz al horno. “I don’t think you guys understand just _why_ I never tell you about this stuff. You tell everyone, my sister eventually know, then my _mother_ know and you all know how she gets! I want Severus to visit Cartagena and have a good time, _that’s all_. Because we’re friends, _that’s all_.”

“Are they?” Blanca asked Remus and the man laughed.

“Oh, I am _not_ answering any of you,” he told her, making Blanca laugh back, grinning at him.

“Guys, Remus is onto us,” she giggled.

“Oh, I _am_ ,” the werewolf slapped Juan’s hand away from Luis’ glass of margarita, making Juan laugh as well. “I just have to treat you the way I treat Elías. I’ve got the hang of you now.”

“Boooooring,” Luis stood, moving to help Elías get the arroz out of the oven, the two setting it over the stove. “Guys, c’mon, put the table.”

“Can you do it with magic?” Juan asked Remus, who gave a fond sigh before taking out his wand, Blanca’s and Juan’s eyes sparkling at the sight.

“ _Enabler_ ,” Elías hissed at him but when Remus looked at his friend, he found him smiling a bit. “Go for it.”

“Alright,” Remus chuckled, flicking his wand to pull out plates, cutlery flying gently around them, making Blanca gasp and clap as Juan brought his hands to his head, grinning.

Luis also watched, starry-eyed, Elías smiling a bit as the table was set in just a few seconds, putting the ceramic pot in the middle and starting to serve everyone, Remus uncorking the wine with a simple flick of his wand again.

“That’s so cool,” Blanca’s hands pressed to her cheeks, smiling at Remus. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Remus nodded back and Elías moved to the hallway.

“Jaime! _¡La cena ya está!_ ” he called.

“¡ _Voy_!” Jaime’s voice came through, making Remus stand.

“So,” Elías began to fill some tuppers with the rice. “Time for us to go, actually. But you guys enjoy dinner. And hopefully, when Severus comes over to Cartagena, you all will _behave_.”

“No promises,” Juan told him and Elías shoved at his shoulder a bit, making him laugh. “See you tomorrow morning?”

“I’ll be here at _nine_. I want the house clean and you all ready to go, car loaded, alright?” Elías told them all, hands on his hips as Jaime walked into the room with a little fidget cube in his hands, flipping it around.

“Ha! As if,” Jaime said, sitting down. “Smells good.”

“Thank you,” Elías smiled, hugging him from behind, Jaime patting his hand. “Goodnight, guys. See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” Remus waved.

“Nice to meet you!” Juan gave him a grin.

“Yeah! You should come by more often!” Luis agreed, Blanca waving at Remus.

“Likewise,” Remus nodded at the siblings and Jaime, who nodded in his direction, busy with dinner. “Night!”

Once through the chimney, loaded with dinner and the ice cream his cousins had bought from the store, Elías and Remus stood for a moment in Elías’ rooms, coming down from the situation.

“Well,” Remus blew out a little breath. “That was… intense.”

“You okay?” Elías cocked an eyebrow.

“They _grilled_ me with questions,” Remus snickered. “But it was fine. It was alright, Eli, I promise. Your family… can be a bit much but it was alright.”

“I’m glad,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face, looking relieved. “I love them very much but uh… they can be _nosy_. And talk too much. And not know someone’s limits.”

“Yes, I noticed,” he chuckled softly, stepping closer, hand moving to Elías’ shoulder and squeezing. “I liked them.”

“I’m glad. They liked you, too. Jaime… he takes a bit to warm up to others but I think he’s okay with you,” Elías smiled and Remus hesitated for a moment, making him frown. “…what?”

“They… said something,” Remus began, making Elías look worried. “About um, Fawley.”

Elías swallowed, looking away. “Right. Uh… they don’t know.”

“I noticed. I played it off and… not knowing, either,” Remus said quietly. “Did… did you tell anyone?”

“Jaime,” Elías sighed, rubbing his temple.

“No one else?” Remus whispered, eyes wide.

“No, I – I can’t tell anyone else,” Elías muttered. “Fawley showed up in the middle of a fucking family meeting that I’d told him about before he did… what he did. And he just showed up, pretended to have been my boyfriend for a while. It was all a big, fun game for him. He gave me two panic attacks until I finally threatened him and… and then he was off. Never saw him again.”

“That’s _sick_ ,” Remus breathed. “Elías, I’m _so sorry_.”

“Happened a lot time ago,” Elías waved it off. “It’s fine, it’s _fine_. I’m just glad he’s not around me anyone. I _hate_ when he’s brought up. He wasn’t my boyfriend, he was _never_ my boyfriend, I've never had a partner and he just – he was this _perfect gentleman_ that my parents adored. They were very sad when I told them that we’d broken up.”

Remus said nothing, not really know what to say so he hugged Elías tightly, holding the man in his arms in lieu of an all-knowing answer he did not have. Elías hugged him back, the sound of the paper bag in his hand holding Sirius’ dinner and dessert bumping into his thigh. It made him realize just how much Elías was trusting him – letting him go to his home, to meet his family, letting him know what Fawley had done, itself. He’d thought Elías had just shamelessly told him because he was over it but… this proved he wasn’t that alright. He hadn’t even told his cousins, whom he held so close to himself. Or his parents. Or his sister.

“Let’s just –“ Elías pulled back, sounding nasal and Remus found his eyes a bit red and shiny. “Let’s just get this to Sirius and have a nice dinner, yeah?”

“Yes,” Remus nodded, smiling at him. “I’m famished. And it smells so good.”

“Thank you,” Elías laughed a bit. “It’s my pa’s recipe.”

“Then I’m sure I’ll love it,” Remus offered, taking the bag from his hand. “Anything else we should bring?”

“Guitar. And a few other things, actually,” Elías rushed to pick those things up before stopping in front of Remus, nodding. “Let’s go.”

* * *

They would’ve been okay on the way to the Shrieking Shack if it weren’t for the Dementors near the Whomping Willow. It would’ve been a bad encounter, with the way they surprised the two professors but Elías had a patronus at the ready, his lion rushing from his wand and pouncing on the two dark figures that quickly rushed away with shrieks.

Elías blinked, staring at his wand, then at the fully-formed lion walking around Remus, the other professor startled as he looked back at Elías.

“A _lion_?” he asked, voice pitched high. “Your patronus is a _lion_?”

“It’s my pa,” Elías explained, walking closer but the patronus disappeared, the animal fading away. “It’s… it’s my pa. It represents my dad, not me. Uh – long story but _yeah_. Ha.”

“That’s… wow,” Remus whispered. “That was a very nice patronus.”

“Thank you,” Elías murmured, approaching the Whomping Willow after Remus calmed it down. “I’ve… never been able to make a patronus type II. That was – my first time.”

“Maybe it was seeing your family,” Remus sent him a small smile and Elías smiled back, nodding.

“Very possibly so,” he replied quietly, starting to go down into the tunnel.

It made sense but Elías felt like it was something else, crouching in the tunnel, guitar in hand, thinking of patronus and souls and memories. Maybe Severus would know the answer. Or maybe the representation of his happy thoughts was just the bravery he needed to do things. Who knew?

Reaching the end, Remus climbed out first before offering a hand to Elías, who took it and let Remus help him up with a smile.

“Sirius!” Elías called, hearing Crookshanks’ loud meow at his voice. “We’re here!”

“Angel, is that you?!” he heard and actually heard steps, the door opening to reveal Sirius, foot completely healed, apparently, as he leaned into the ruined railing and grinned down at the two professors. “Well, well, _well_. Look at the snake who decided to slither back in, hmm? Apparently, you’ve been gone for so long that your hair grew, Rapunzel!”

“Hiss hiss,” Elías laughed, raising his guitar. “Got you a few things!”

“I can see!” Sirius smiled, watching Elías climb up the stairs. “But first I want to know –“

Elías hugged him before he could keep talking, arms around Sirius, Crookshanks rubbing against his ankles. Sirius let out a surprised breath before he chuckled, hugging Elías back, rubbing his back and smiling a bit.

“Alright, fine,” Sirius said as Elías pulled away. “You’re forgiven. But you _abandoned me_.”

“I’ve been so busy, I’m so sorry,” Elías said apologetically, giving him a pout. “I made you a really nice homemade meal. And got you ice cream. _And_ another GameBoy game. _And_ I’m lending you my guitar for the entirety of the holidays.”

“You’re _absolutely_ forgiven, then!” Sirius took the guitar, grinning wide. “Let’s _eat_ , I’m starving.”

“I brought you a huge lunch this morning,” Remus pointed out as he climbed up the stairs, picking up Crookshanks before he could scratch at his shoes, the ball of fur meowing loudly in protest. “Did you already eat it?”

“Yes. All of it,” Sirius said and Elías moved to sit on the only comfortable place in the room, the repaired mattress. “My ankle’s all good!”

“I can see that!” Elías smiled. “Ointment worked! Can I check it?”

“Sure,” Sirius nodded, sitting down on the bed and extending his leg to Elías, who began to unwrap the bandage, noticing just how much better it was, poking around it. “Doesn’t hurt at all.”

“Oh, _good_ ,” Elías let out a sigh of relief, taking away the bandage and putting it on the bag for the trash. “Good to know. Now you can actually go about – just _don’t go into Hogwarts with a knife_.”

“No promises,” Sirius smirked, making Elías roll his eyes. “So what did you bring?”

“A few things,” Remus pulled out Sirius’ side of dinner, giving him a spoon for it, Sirius’ eyes lighting up.

“Smells like seafood!” he gasped, opening it up. “Oh, wow, is this paella?”

Elías’ eye twitched. “It’s pronounced _paella_ ,” he told the man, irritated.

Remus snorted a bit, noticing that deep seated anger that Elías had whenever someone said something utterly stupid, hand over his mouth, watching Sirius snicker.

“Right, _of course_. I’m sorry, Mr foreign language,” he replied.

“Alright, then give me back that _foreign food_ ,” Elías snatched away the tupper, making Sirius gasp. “Elías giveth and Elías taketh away.”

“Shit, okay, _fine_. Paella,” Sirius tried to pronounce and Elías sighed. “Paella? _Paella_. Paaaella.”

“Have your stupid arroz al horno,” Elías replied, setting it on his lap and Sirius gladly took a bite. “And here I was thinking that I actually felt bad about not seeing you in so long.”

“What have you been doing?” Sirius asked, curious.

“Potions. Dueling. CPS cases,” Elías retorted, making Sirius pause for a moment, looking at him hopefully. “Harry’s out of the house,” he told Sirius, grinning. “He doesn’t have to go back.”

“Yes!” Sirius breathed, face bright, Remus smiling along. “Yes, yes, _yes!_ Oh, _angel_ , thank you, _thank you_!” he pulled Elías close for a deep hug, making the Spaniard laugh.

“Oh, man, I cried so much this morning,” Elías told Sirius. “Harry has really good friends, Sirius. Ron and Hermione were so supportive of him.”

“Good, that’s good, that’s _so good_ ,” Sirius breathed, dropping his spoon on the contained, hands rubbing his face, shoulders sinking. “Oh, fuck. Shite. I was so worried, I-I… I’m so glad he’s alright.”

“All we’ve to do is catch Peter, now,” Remus told the both of them grimly. “We catch Peter? We get you free.”

“And you can meet Harry properly,” Elías said, smiling at him, making Sirius laugh a bit wetly, rubbing his face.

“Sounds so good,” he whispered, swallowing. “It’s been… so long since I’ve seen him. Since I’ve talked to him… All I –“ he seemed to choke a bit, hand over his mouth, eyes starting to go red and Remus reached over to grasp Sirius’ hand as Elías rubbed his shoulder. “Just a small home. A small… house somewhere no one will bother him with – with the-Boy-Who-Lived shit. Somewhere he c-can play Quidditch with his f-friends… somewhere without – fuck, without w-war or… people who want to _use him_.”

“We’ll find it,” Remus promised him, squeezing his hand, Sirius sobbing quietly. “And you won’t have to answer to anyone else, either, Sirius.”

“Fuck, that’d be nice,” he wheezed, blubbering a bit. “W-without my f-father now.”

“Yeah,” Elías assured him, moving a bit closer, heart breaking. “No more prisons.”

“No more prisons,” Remus nodded and Sirius let out a little hysterical laugh.

“Please, no more prisons,” he begged quietly.

Elías gave him a kind look, hand rubbing at his shoulder, watching Sirius slowly starting to calm down from that emotional revelation.

“Hey,” he said softly, making Sirius look up, a few tears running down his face, smudged by his hands. Elías reached over, brushing a few away. “I got you a little something?”

“More?” he asked, incredulous and Elías nodded, reaching for one of the bags he’d brought, setting it in the middle of the three of them.

“A while ago, Severus and Remus told me about wizarding culture and the importance of hair?” he began, making Sirius blink a bit. “I grew mine out and Severus grilled me with taking care of it. So I thought um, about yours? And how you probably grew up with a different view of how hair should be treated, so –“

He opened the bag, revealing scissors, a clipper and multiple other tools for hair cutting, the ones he used on himself and the ones Remus had used on him when he’s buzzed his nape. Sirius’ face lit up a bit and he reached over for the clipper, laughing.

“Oh, I haven’t seen one of these in a while,” he whispered, looking around it. “Wow, it’s… so shiny and different. Much more advanced than in the 80s.”

“I would guess,” Elías laughed, smiling. “So! After dinner, how about I trim your hair a bit? You can also shave, feel like yourself again?” Elías proposed. “I know it’s not… really the best you could have but um, it’s an improvement, right?”

“It’s _great_ ,” Sirius muttered, turning to Elías with a grateful, honest smile. “It’s amazing. Thank you, angel.”

“No problem,” Elías whispered back, nudging his knee a bit with his own. “Now eat. Come on.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius laughed, putting the clippers back into the bag and setting it to the side, going back to his dinner. “Tell me about your day!” he told Remus and Elías, the two looking at each other before remembering just how many things had just happened today.

“You’re gonna have a blast with this one,” Remus began, eyebrows raising, smirking a bit. “But Severus is teaching Elías how to duel.”

Sirius choked on his dinner, eyes rushing to Elías, “He _what_?!”

“He’s the best around, what did you expect?” Elías cocked an eyebrow.

“He is _not_ ,” Sirius said firmly, putting his container away and turning to Remus. “Gimme your wand, Moony. Let me show him.”

“Oh, no,” Remus laughed, shaking his head. “No way. He still doesn’t know how to duel yet, Sirius, I’m not giving you my wand.”

“I’m _awful_ at dueling, Sirius, I’ve to learn,” Elías told him, rolling his eyes. “And Sev is very good, of course I’d ask him to teach me.”

“I’m – I –“ Sirius groaned, rubbing his face. “He’s _Snape_.”

“Mhmm, he is,” Elías leaned back a bit, looking unimpressed at Sirius.

“He – you must _know_ how he is!” Sirius sputtered and Elías grinned.

“I do, in fact!” Elías replied, making Sirius watch him, incredulous. “He’s attentive to details, has a perfect memory, is dedicated and hardworking, he’s ambitious and determined, has really close friends that care about him and whom he cares about. He’s soft and kind, when not pressured by other people. He gives always the perfect gifts and he’s an amazing potioneer and duelist.”

“Are we talking about the same person?” Sirius asked, recoiling a bit.

“You probably didn’t get to meet him,” Elías said, a bit venomously, his voice a hiss. “Busy that you were, throwing his bag into the lake, hmm?”

Remus said nothing, busy eating, looking into his meal rather than the frown Sirius gave, looking annoyed, “Oh, yeah, cause he was _such_ a saint, throwing hexes and jinxes at First Year Gryffindors, huh?”

“Did you retaliate to that?” Elías asked.

“Yes, of course!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Did you also use that as an excuse to fuck him over every chance you had?” Elías added, making Sirius watch him, eyes hard. “Aaaand there it is.”

“You weren’t there,” Sirius accused, irritated.

“No, but I was bullied too,” Elías replied and _that_ made Sirius pause, staring at Elías. “You’ve no idea how much it fucks you up. If I were you, I’d grow out of that High School Bully perspective you have and start thinking of Severus as an adult man who’s starting to grow past his younger prejudices.”

“Him? Growing?” Sirius laughed. “ _HA!_ I’ll believe it when I see it –“

“Good,” Elías cut in, glaring at Sirius, making the man fall quiet. “Because I can’t _wait_ to see your face when you realize that Severus is starting to become a better man than you’ve showed me to be.”

“You barely know me,” Sirius whispered.

“You still call him that stupid fucking _nickname_ you and your friends gave him,” Elías snapped angrily. “Remus had to properly fucking _apologize_ for Severus to start moving on because apparently, _none of you did_.”

“Sorry, I was too busy _throwing a protego_ so he wouldn’t fucking kill me!” Sirius snapped back. “He’s the one with evil fucking friends!”

“Have you _ever_ thought that maybe if you Gryffindors didn’t fucking antagonize _everyone and everything around you_ , maybe Slytherins wouldn’t so easily fall into the purist rhetoric?!” Elías barked back and Remus wanted to be _anywhere but here_.

“Oh, so now you’re blaming _us_ for your stupid Deatheater friends?!” Sirius shouted.

“They’re _not_ Deatheaters anymore! They don’t want to be! They were sucked into a fucking cult that they’ve been part of since they were children!” Elías shouted.

“ _I_ was part of that cult!” Sirius screamed as Elías stood, furious, needing to leave but Sirius followed him out of the room, Remus trying to follow them so they wouldn’t do anything stupid. “And you know what?! I fucking _walked out_!”

Elías turned around, facing Sirius, shoving him away from his face so he could point a finger at him, Remus quickly moving between them and separating them.

“You got out because you got into _Gryffindor_ , you spiteful little _shit_!” Elías threw and Remus tried to calm him down but Elías wasn’t listening anymore. “Don’t you fucking get it?! Once you’re sorted into Slytherin, you’re fucking doomed!”

“Maybe because Slytherins are all fucking bad?!” Sirius laughed incredulously and Remus made a panicked noise as Elías nearly threw himself at Sirius, pulling him back.

“Elías – _Elías_ , it’s not worth it,” Remus tried to say but Elías shoved him away, eyes wild.

“You claim Slytherins are all bad, huh?” he hissed slowly, glaring. “Then I wonder what does that make Gryffindors?”

“Anything is better than a bloody Slytherin,” Sirius sneered. “We Gryffindors knew where to stand at war. We knew we had to do the right thing.”

“Glad to know that to the great and virtuous Sirius Black, letting your little brother die in a ditch was the right thing,” Elías spat and before he knew it, Sirius was at his _throat_.

“Stop, stop, STOP IT!” Remus shouted, wand waving to pull the two wizards apart, Sirius’ eyes wild and Elías looking like a venomous snake, waiting for strike, jaw locked tight. “What is _wrong_ with you two?!” he whispered, incredulous. “Elías, that was uncalled for!”

“Fuck him,” Elías replied, eyes watering. “He’s the reason why nobody can get out of this fucking _cult_. Prances around, telling everyone how _virtuous_ he is for leaving when he had it fucking easy. How does he know how Regulus felt?”

“You don’t _know him_ ,” Sirius snarled. “None of you did! Shut the _fuck_ up!”

“You and all your Gryffindor little buddies paint a black a white picture, forgoing all the people that never wanted to be sucked into this war in the first place!” Elías yelled, moving to the stairs, towards the tunnel. “Fuck you! Fuck you and Dumbledore! Fuck you and your pedestal of rightness! Anyone who you don’t like is an enemy, isn’t it?! Anyone who’s not with you is against you! Well, fuck you, Black!”

“Fuck you, too, you little _cunt_ ,” Sirius spat and Remus made a noise of surprise as Elías threw the tunnel latch open, giving a laugh.

“If you think I haven’t heard that one before from people like _you_ , then you’re dead wrong,” he sneered, glaring at Sirius at the top of the railing. “I avoided you because you set me on fucking edge, Black. I want the best for Harry and I want Remus to be happy but you make it _so fucking hard_ to pity you, even with twelve years of Azkaban behind you.”

“I don’t want your pity,” Sirius spat at him.

“Good, cause you don’t fucking have it,” Elías replied, slamming the tunnel door and turning into his cat shape, fuming, glad to see that in this shape, he couldn’t cry. Because he would’ve. And he would’ve probably cried all night.


	51. Respite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would usually have an excuse as to why I er... didn't upload yesterday but I'm gonna be honest. I.... bought a shit ton of Warhammer. I'm learning the hobby. I am SO SORRY you guys. In any case, thank you all so much for your lovely comments and screams about the latest chapter. In this one, I bring you a little bit of Slytherin/Gryffindor happiness, a little bit of domesticity, a little bit of PAIN.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for the chapter:  
> \- Mention of racism  
> \- Bullying  
> \- Discussion of child abuse  
> \- Discussion of death (Theo's mother)  
> \- Teenage insecurities? I suppose?  
> \- Mention of alcoholism

The Slytherin dorms were utterly silent by the time Theodore woke up on Tuesday, yawning wide against his pillow, hand scratching his shoulder idly as he smiled happily against his warm sheets. There was only the light snoring of Draco beside him, his stupid drooling mouth plastered against his arm but Theo was already used to it, turning his head a bit to watch the blonde as he slept.

His parents were busy tonight so they weren’t able to go to the Manor just yet but the Malfoys had assured him that he could stay the entirety of the holidays with them, which was exactly what Theo was planning on doing. Today, though, and for most of tomorrow, Theodore could have a moment of respite – no older Slytherins bullying him and his friends for talking to Hermione and her friends, no little groups of Ravenclaws sneering at him and no Hufflepuffs rushing away from his path, as if he were a wild beast.

No drum lessons, either.

“Theooo,” Draco croaked, hiding his face on Theo’s elbow. “ _Nnngh_ , why are you moving so much?”

“Sorry,” the brunet yawned, rubbing at his eyes as they watered. “M’already awake.”

“Shut the _fuck_ up,” Blaise groaned from his bed.

“ _Shhh!_ ” Greg hissed. “Just shut the fuck u –“

“ _Shut_ the _fuck_ up –“

“Merlin _kill you all_!” Pansy shouted from the girls’ room, banging against the wall, making Theodore burst into laughter, Draco giggling beside him.

“Breakfast, guys, come on,” Theodore yawned again, trying to get out of bed but Draco whined, pulling him in.

“Noooo, it’s coooold,” the Malfoy mumbled, curling up.

“Get _up_ , you lazy knobhead,” Theo grinned, shaking his head, stumbling towards his closet. “Man, I need – need a shower. You _sweat_ at night.”

“Mmm,” was all Draco said, already half asleep while Vince just _slept_ through all the noise like a rock, his foot hanging from his bed. Greg was the second one out of bed and he gently put the foot back under the sheets, not even making Vince twitch.

The two boys headed to the common bathroom and Theo grinned at the empty Common Room, waving at a sleepy little selkie kid by the window.

“It’s so nice to be just us,” Greg whispered, the candelabra flickering to life as they two boys stepped in, Theodore immediately moving to a shower stall while Greg had his toothbrush with him. Theo knew morning breath bothered the _hell_ out of him.

“Yeah, I know, right?” Theo smiled a bit lazily. “I heard ‘Mione and her friends are also staying. We could even eat breakfast together.”

“It’d be nice,” Greg said before sticking his toothbrush into his mouth and the door opened to let Blaise in, the boy the worst of the bunch in the mornings. He moved to the sink and splashed his face with cold water, grunting. “Morfnin’!” Greg greeted, amused.

“Fuck you,” he rasped, dropping his forehead gently on the sink.

“Great Hall’s gonna be empty,” Theo called out as he lathered his hair, imagining Blaise’s face. “Hermione’s gonna be there for sure, huh?”

“Shut – shut _up_ ,” Blaise called and Greg laughed before starting to choke on the foam, making Theo burst into snickers. “You’re so stupid. So, so _stupid_. Why do I even like you all?”

“Morning,” Vince yawned as he walked in, stumbling into a stall. “Draco refuses to get out of bed.”

“What else is new?” Blaise asked sarcastically and Theo banged the door of his stall gently before a towel was thrown by one of his friends over the top, the boy catching it easily and walking out sopping wet but at least a little covered. “Go wake Draco up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Theo hummed, feeling much more awake, passing by Pansy on his way back to the boys’ rooms and she yawned wide, hair in her usual headscarf, giving Theo a soft little smile. For all the shit that people gave her, all the insults, all the sneering at her appearance, Theodore thought Pansy was one of the most beautiful girls he’d ever seen – especially now, in the mornings, all sleepy-eyed and soft. He leaned over to kiss the top of her scarfed head and she gave him a small smile before disappearing into the girls’ bathroom.

Theo moved into the almost empty dormitory and kicked his own bed, where Draco was still trying to go back to sleep.

“Mate,” Theo laughed, grabbing some briefs and sliding them on before struggling with his shirt. “Come on, time to get up.”

“I refuse,” he groaned as Theo searched for his pants in his bunk. “If I don’t get up, I don’t have to face Uncle Severus.”

“But you passed Potions, didn’t you?” Theo frowned.

“ _At what cost_ ?” the Malfoy replied dramatically, sighing. “I _barely_ passed and he was already so angry with me.

"Look, it can't be that bad," Theo rolled his eyes. "He's your godfather. He loves you."

"Mmm. Yes, he….does, I guess," Draco murmured, watching the canopy of Theo's bed as the other Slytherin finished getting dressed, glad to be out of the school uniform and into some comfortable slacks and shirt, towel-drying his hair. "Hey, Theo?"

"Yeah?" 

"Do you ever feel like you're disappointing everyone around you?"

Theodore paused, blinking, startled as he glanced over at his best friend and found him with slightly red eyes. He'd been crying. How had Theo not noticed?

"Hey, D?" Theo moved to the bed, sitting down, watching him but Draco's grey eyes stayed up. "What's going on, mate?"

"I'm… mediocre. Did you ever notice?" the boy murmured.

"What?! No! No, you're not!" Theodore told him firmly, frowning at his friend, shoving at his arm. "The hell are you talking about?"

"What am I good at, Theo?" Draco asked bitterly. "Nothing!"

"That's bollocks," Theo threw, scoffing. "You're an _incredible_ seeker. You can read and talk in _four languages_ and you know the most about the castle! Whenever someone has a question about Hogwarts, you know! And you can _make anything bloom_!"

"Herbology," Draco snorted. "What's it good for?"

"I know you and your mum enjoy it a lot," Theo said softly, making Draco's face turn more tender. 

"Yes, but - but I'm not the _best_ at it!" The boy burst, frustrated, glaring at the canopy. "Stupid _Longbottom_ of all people is!"

"You don't have to be the best at something," Theo told him, repeating the words of Professor Fernández, feeling relief that he did have an answer for this. "The point of doing something you enjoy is to… well, enjoy it? So if you _do_ enjoy doing it… then isn't that enough?"

Draco didn't respond, merely rubbing his face and giving a small sound of frustration. Theo let his hair towel fall to the floor and slid on top of the sheets of his bed, arm-to-arm with Draco, both of them laying on their backs. For a moment, all that could be heard was Vince and Greg's obnoxiously loud singing, which eventually made Theo and Draco laugh.

"Yeah. _Yeah_ ," Draco said, after a minute of giggling, smiling over at Theo. "What's it matter to me? Longbottom and Potter and Granger… they don't matter."

"They _do_ matter," Theodore pointed out, making Draco's smile drop but Theo pulled on his ear, grinning as Draco cursed. "They matter because _Blaise and I_ like them. And Pansy, too. Maybe not Longbottom but mate, you've gotta get with the program."

"I _hate_ Potter," Draco grumbled.

"No, you don't," Theo snickered and Draco buried his face on Theo's shoulder, sighing. "Up. Up, up, up! I'm going to get breakfast because I'm _starving_ and if you're late, don't expect me to save you anything!"

"Fine, I'm _up_ ," Draco sighed, crawling out of bed as Blaise walked into the room in a towel, quickly and efficiently getting dressed.

"You good to go?" Theo asked Blaise, who nodded wordlessly and followed him out into the Common Room, then out of the dungeons, to the Great Hall. 

"Is he alright?" Blaise asked, making Theo look away from the bright sky through the windows and to his best friend. "Draco," Blaise added, as if Theo hadn't known.

"He will be," Theo shrugged. "You know how he is. He… y'know. Gets unmotivated from time to time."

"It's the pressure," Blaise said, eyes at the end of the hall. "He sees the Quidditch Cup for the taking. And the only thing keeping him from it is himself."

"And Potter," Theo added, making Blaise roll his eyes.

"And _Potter_ ," he sighed, rubbing his temple. "I swear, I'll commit arson in our room if I've to hear another rant about Potter."

"I'm hoping hanging around him will make Draco stop, if I'm honest," Theo snorted, making Blaise give him a pointed look. "And… well, Hermione is your friend. And Pansy's. So it's best to get along with him and Weasley, too."

“Weasley hates me,” Blaise stated, huffing. “Because I give Hermione the attention he doesn’t give her. So she trusts me more. And she’s told me certain things that she hasn’t others. That miffs him.”

“I can tell,” Theo elbowed him. “You’re also, like, a _royal smug prick_ about knowing things others don’t, though.”

“I won’t deny that,” Blaise snickered, turning the corner only to see Hermione heading to the Great Hall, carrying three books too thick for anyone her size to handle. Blaise’s feet moved quickly and before Theo could blink, he was pulling back some books from her arms, leaving her with just one. “You _know_ better than to carry that many, Hermione.”

“Good morning, Blaise!” she smiled brightly, then noticed Theo as he approached. “Morning to you, too!”

“Morning, Hermione,” Theo waved, smiling at her before taking the book from her hands. His mother had taught him to be polite, after all. “Where are we heading?”

“Great Hall for breakfast,” she stated, brushing her skirt of the dust the books had left. “I have to look into Magical Law so I can help with Buckbeak’s appeal, since Malfoy won’t talk to his father about pulling it all back.”

“Sorry about that,” Theodore winced.

“Honestly, Draco was just being a cocky prick,” Blaise told her and Hermione nodded primly, puffing her cheeks a bit.

“Was he even listening to the lesson?! Hagrid had said that hippogriffs are easily offended and he just called it a deformed chicken! Who’s _that_ stupid?!”

“Draco,” Theo and Blaise echoed, glancing at each other. “He’s not - he’s book smart. He’s not socially _smart_.”

“He makes dumb decisions,” Blaise added. “He’ll grow out of it.”

“Hopefully,” Theo muttered and Blaise gave a little laugh. “He’s getting a bit better, though. Doesn’t do as many… reckless things.”

“Wish I could say the same about Harry and Ron,” Hermione sighed, walking into the almost deserted Great Hall with Blaise and Theodore, the only other occupant being Professor Snape in the staff table, reading a book as he ate breakfast. He looked up when he heard them three and stared back at Theodore for a moment, his face unreadable.

“Professor Fernández already left?” Hermione asked, seemingly disappointed. “Oh, what a shame. I wanted to ask about the Avalon essay…”

“Yeah, he left already,” Theodore said, a bit sadly, making Blaise sour a bit but when Hermione followed them to the Slytherin table without a peep, he seemed to calm down quickly. “I wanted to have one last lesson.”

“Oh, right! Your drums!” Hermione smiled brilliantly at him. “How are those going?”

“So good,” Theodore grinned widely, sitting down on his usual spot, Blaise across from him and Hermione on his right, the three teens piling the books by Hermione’s plate. “I actually know how to do a few simple songs now? It’s so _easy_!”

“Percussion isn’t easy unless you’ve already got a good sense of rhythm,” Blaise told him, cocking an eyebrow at him the same way that Signora Zabini did. “So I say you should give yourself some credit, Theo.”

“Thanks,” Theo flushed, grinning down at the table, feeling accomplished. “It’s - it’s just fun, to be honest? I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy classes, y’know.”

“Professor Fernández is a _great_ professor,” Hermione gushed.

“He’s decent enough,” Blaise muttered, filling his goblet with pumpkin juice to hide his displeased look and Hermione giggled a bit.

“You just don’t like him,” Theodore pointed his fork at him, frowning. “Like, mate, you _really don’t like him_ for some unfounded reason! He’s great! Even Professor Snape likes him!”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit _suspicious_ that he just… came out of nowhere?” Blaise pointed out, brow furrowed, looking with narrowed eyes at Theodore. “He just shows up, along with that Lupin character. The two get along _first thing_ , as if they already knew each other. And then he just sloooowly squirms into Professor Snape’s circle. _Our_ circle. This person whom we’ve never met, who proudly proclaims that he’s a Slytherin. As if wanting to be relatable!”

“It’s not suspicious, we’ve never met him because he’s _older than us_ ,” Theodore rolled his eyes but Hermione was watching Blaise worriedly.

“Do you think he’s befriending everyone because he wants something?” Hermione asked quietly.

“Easily so,” Blaise muttered. “Mama is on the lookout. She doesn’t trust this individual. Apparently zio Corban likes him. _On just one dinner meeting_ . He’s doing something, Theo. He’s - I don’t _know_ ! He seems overly friendly, overly invested in _you_ and _Potter_ at the same time.”

“He cares,” Theo said, defensive and a bit hurt at the possibility of Professor Fernández wanting something from them. It felt egregious to even think about it, with how much he was helping Theo and Potter and so many others. “He _does_ care. I promise.”

“He could be fooling _you_ too,” Blaise pointed out, loading his plate. “Maybe he’s cajoling with Dumbledore.”

“No, impossible,” Hermione said firmly, making the two Slytherins turn to her. “When Harry and Professor Fernández went to CPS, Dumbledore was _furious_ . Harry said that he tried to fire him but he said _like hell_.”

“What?” Theodore’s eyes widened, grinning. He _loved_ this teacher.

“ _What_?” Blaise breathed, looking half surprised, half horrified. “So he just went over Dumbledore’s head?”

“Apparently so? Didn’t want Harry to go,” Hermione pursed her lips a bit. “Which I… I disagree with. Harry did well, going to CPS with Professor Fernández. The Dursleys were _horrible_ to him.”

“You’re telling me,” Blaise said quietly, hand moving to Hermione’s shoulder, making her turn to him. “That Professor Fernández disobeyed Dumbledore’s orders _without_ retaliation? He didn’t fire him? He didn’t do… _anything_?”

“Well, he’s still working here, isn’t he?” Theodore replied, making Blaise let out a long breath, eyes wide. “Mate, he’s _fine_. He’s not even with Dumbledore! That’s good!”

“No, that’s _not_ good,” Blaise hissed, Hermione and Theodore looking confused. “Don’t you see? Professor Fernández has _something_ over him! He has power over _Dumbledore_ . This man is _dangerous_ , Theo, you need to stop going to those lessons!”

“No!” Theodore replied, hurt, eyes wide. “No, I’m not going to do that!”

“Just because he has something over Dumbledore, doesn’t mean it’s _bad_ ,” Hermione said softly, her hand moving to Blaise’s arm, the boy swallowing hard as he looked at her. “I know it’s… suspicious to you, Blaise but - but he _is_ helping a lot of people. He helped me with my cat, helped Luna with some bullies, he gets along with Professor Lupin _and_ Professor Snape. But he’s also strict when he needs to be? I don’t think… it’s something bad.”

“He’s hiding something,” Blaise insisted, rubbing a hand over his mouth, frustrated, looking over at the empty seat where the Astronomy Professor usually was, right between two mortal enemies that were Lupin and Snape. “And I’m going to find out what it is.”

* * *

“Hi!” Theo said the moment he entered the Gryffindor Tower and Weasley and Potter turned their heads, on high alert at the sight of a Slytherin until they realized Theodore and Blaise were bringing Hermione’s books. Weasley didn’t relax much but he waved at them, a sort of truce. “Are you three staying for the holidays at Hogwarts?”

“Yeah,” Ron replied, eying Blaise as he laid the thick tome on the coffee table in front of Potter, who was also working on a law book. They really wanted to save that chicken. “We need to work on the appeal.”

“I don’t suppose you two could convince Malfoy of taking back the whole thing, right?” Potter asked dryly, looking already irritated. Theodore would be, too, if he had to spend the first morning of holidays reading laws.

“Already tried,” Theodore shrugged, giving Potter an apologetic look.

“Are you all staying, as well?” the black-haired boy pushed the book away, apparently glad for a break but Weasley just kept reading, face focused.

“No,” Blaise replied, sitting at Hermione’s other side on the couch, getting comfortable as Hermione looked over the notes Ron had made, Theo leaning into a stone column with his arms crossed. “I’m going back home to Firenze for the week.”

“And I’m heading to the Malfoy’s, actually,” Theo hummed.

“For the holidays? All of them?” Hermione frowned, Weasley looking up. “Why not go home?”

Blaise cleared his throat, making Hermione jump a bit, the girl realizing it was a sensitive subject as Theodore looked away, swallowing hard.

“It’s uh…” he rubbed his nose. “My father is busy.”

“I heard your mother died,” Ron spoke up and Hermione’s hand went to slap his arm as Theodore winced, feeling his chest _hurt_ at the words. “Sorry! Sorry, I just… I wanted to say that um, I’m sorry for your loss, Nott.”

“Thank you,” Theodore muttered.

“So am I,” Harry offered, giving him a lot of sympathy instead of pity, making Theo nod slowly. If there was someone who understood him… it was surely Potter. Except, well, he probably didn’t even remember his parents. Very probably his own father had had something to do with the death of Potter’s parents and Theodore felt that now familiar spike of guilt. “It’s nice that you’ve er… got the Malfoy’s to help out.”

“They’re great,” he murmured and Ron exhaled, making Theo laugh a bit. “...yeah, to me, anyway. I… know they haven’t been the nicest to your family. _I_ haven’t been the nicest to you.”

“Theo,” Blaise warned, like he did whenever Theo got too real but Ron was looking at him with what looked like surprise.

“Just - you don’t have much money,” Theo shrugged. “Who cares? Your family looks like… like they really love each other. That’s more than mine can do.”

“ _Theo_ ,” Blaise hissed.

“Oh, shut up,” Theodore sat down next to Potter. “I know you hate having heart-to-heart’s and shite, Blaise, but they’re important.”

“Did Professor Fernández also tell you that?” Blaise mocked a bit.

“I’m glad he did,” Potter spoke up, frowning at Blaise, making Theo turn to him, startled. “He’s great. He’s helping you guys.”

“We know he is,” Theo told Potter, getting comfortable on the couch, starting to not care that much that it was red and gold. “Except this bloke right here.”

“Merlin, you’re all brainwashed,” Blaise groaned into his hands, Hermione patting his back with a small smile. “He’s going to do something bad, I _know it_.”

“He has trust issues,” Theodore whispered to Potter, who hid his smile on the back of his hand before Hermione spoke up, trying to engage Blaise.

“Firenze is Florence, right?” she asked him, making him finally sit up, nodding. “Wow. It’s the birthplace of the Renaissance! I really want to go there!”

“Oh, it’s _so beautiful_ ,” Theodore gushed, making Blaise grin a bit. “I’ve been there a couple times, because of this one right here.”

“Do you usually live there, then?” Ron asked, looking a bit fascinated. 

“ _Si_ ,” Blaise nodded. “I was born and raised there.”

“So why didn’t you go to uh, Settima? Is it Settima?” Ron asked, making Potter blink.

“Wait, there’s an Italian school?” he gasped, making Theo realize that for all intents and purposes, Potter was almost a muggleborn and Blaise nodded.

“Settima Città,” he told them with that perfect Italian accent of his, his real accent. “It’s in Firenze, actually. My youngest brother, Alessandro? He’s in his first year there.”

“I… didn’t think of other schools, actually,” Potter whispered, as if realizing that there was a world outside of England. Theodore had thought of it like that sometimes, before he met Blaise and Draco, so long ago. “How many are there?”

“In the world?” Hermione asked, grinning. “So many! Nobody is sure!”

“There are many, _many_ magic schools,” Weasley told Potter, nodding. “There’s er… twenty-something in Europe alone?”

“Twenty four,” Blaise and Hermione said at the same time and Hermione squealed, “Jinx! You owe me a strawberry twist!”

Blaise rolled his eyes fondly, pinching her elbow, making Hermione giggle and move back a bit, Potter’s eyebrows raising. Theo just smirked to himself.

“There’s a difference between _official_ schools and schools themselves, though,” Hermione explained to her friend, who nodded. “For example - Hogwarts is the recognized, official school in the United Kingdom but there are celtic schools all over Ireland!”

“What? You’re _joking_ , right?” Potter looked at Weasley, who nodded. “But… why aren’t they recognized?”

“Well,” Weasley began slowly, trying to see how to break it to Harry but Blaise spoke up dryly, looking amused at the Boy Who Lived.

“Racism, Potter,” he snorted. “And imperialism.”

“Seamus’ mother went to one of those Irish schools,” Hermione explained softly. “But the Ministry won’t recognize her education as, er… something true? As in - it’s official and it’s _real_ but if she were to be pitched against someone from Hogwarts…”

“...they’d choose the person from Hogwarts,” Potter nodded. “Right.”

“And that’s everywhere,” Theodore explained. “Basically every country has a school. But official schools in Europe, there’s twenty four, yeah.”

“In Italy it’s Settima Città,” Blaise told him. “In France, Beauxbatons. In Spain, Altavista.”

“Why do people from other countries come to Hogwarts, then?” Potter frowned.

“Personal reasons,” Blaise shrugged. “Most are offered three letters of the nearest schools that want to take them.”

“Professor Fernández came to Hogwarts,” Theodore grinned at him. “But he could’ve gone to Altavista.”

“And you?” Potter turned to Blaise. “Why Hogwarts?”

“Because my mother wanted me to learn English, to go to a foreign country to learn a bit of it and because she spent many years here. I’m the oldest of my siblings,” Blaise explained, then paused. “My next siblings will probably go to Beauxbatons.”

“Oh, right! You’ve a sibling on the way!” Hermione said, excited, and Theodore grinned, nodding, Blaise looking soft. “That’s exciting!”

“You say that because you’re an only child,” Weasley snorted, making Blaise actually laugh, the redhead smiling a bit. “Seriously! My sister is so annoying!”

“They _can_ be annoying,” Blaise admitted. “But I’m the oldest. I manage.”

“I’m the second youngest,” Weasley groaned. “It’s hell sometimes.”

“Back to the schools,” Potter cut in a bit, making everyone turn to him, looking so curious. “Were - were any of you offered two other letters?”

“No,” Hermione shook her head.

“Yes,” Weasley nodded and Theo and Blaise as well.

“The pattern is obvious,” Blaise said, eyebrows raising before turning to Weasley. “What were you offered?”

“Uh, Beauxbatons and Weiseberge,” the redhead replied.

“It’s pronounced _Weiseberge_ ,” Hermione corrected, squawking and Theodore snickered as Weasley flushed.

“Well, I’m _sorry_ I can’t pronounce German like you!” he threw a dry quill at her, making Hermione squeak.

“I was offered Settima Citta, Beauxbatons and Hogwarts,” Blaise offered Potter.

“And I was offered Bloeiende Gronden and Weiseberge,” Theo said, making Potter sigh.

“I didn’t know this,” he muttered. “Why did no one talk about this?”

“Well, now you know? At least? Maybe if you read more, you’d _know_ ,” Hermione pointed out, making Potter sigh a bit. 

“I’m a bit busy trying to do the appeal for Buckbeak, ‘Mione,” he replied and Weasley nodded just as Blaise stood. “Leaving?”

“Yes. We should go,” Blaise hummed, walking by Theo and tapping his shoulder. “A pleasure talking to all of you,” he said politely, Theo following after Blaise but not before waving at the three of them.

“Same to you!” Weasley threw back, looking over at his two friends with a strange look but when Theo’s eyes caught Potter’s, he found the boy smiling back at him. With a little startled wave, Theodore smilee back and climbed out of the portrait hole, feeling like he’d just done something to be proud of.

“Why did you want to leave?” Theodore asked Blaise as they walked through the now better-lit hallways of the castle.

“Because I was starting to actually feel comfortable,” Blaise replied smoothly, making Theodore frown.

“You’re allowed to relax from time to time, mate,” he threw an arm over his shoulders, making Blaise tense up before the tension left him, turning to Theo with a fondly exasperated look. “Honestly, you’re always so paranoid. On the lookout for anything that might harm us. Like, live a _little_ , alright?”

“And what does that entail, hmm?” he asked, amused.

“Ask Hermione out,” Theodore grinned and he easily dodged the punch that came his way, laughing, knowing it’d been coming. “Come on! Otherwise Weasley will snatch her up!”

“Don’t talk about women as if they were objects,” Blaise scolded, pointing a finger in his direction. “Hermione is _nobody’s_ to snatch up, do you hear me?”

“Yes, sorry,” Theodore replied, embarrassed, looking down at his feet before breathing in. “Just… I dunno, mate. She seems to like you.”

“Seems to,” Blaise replied, huffing, rubbing his eyes for a moment before sighing. “She’s way too fucking smart for me.”

“Are you _joking_ ?” Theodore turned to his friend, boggled. “You’re the smartest one of our entire House! You’re the smartest bloody Slytherin around, Blaise! And she knows it, that’s why you two can do your pretentious little _jinx_ moments!”

“Shut _up_ ,” Blaise groaned. “She’s much - Merlin, Theo, she’s so _intelligent_. She makes me feel so utterly stupid sometimes.”

“Is that why you won’t ask her?” Theodore frowned.

“What? No! It’s good to make me feel stupid!” Blaise replied, only further confusing Theodore.

“Well, I don’t like to feel stupid, mate,” Theodore snorted.

“Mama says that someone that humbles you is someone to learn from,” Blaise explained, making Theodore nod. Sienna Zabini was the wisest woman he’d ever met and all of his friends took her advice very seriously. She was _always_ right. “But… Hermione? If I asked her out? She - no, _no_ , I don’t want anyone to… bully her like they’re doing to us. I won’t put her under Slytherin radar. It’s mean. It’s too much.”

“Ah, yeah,” Theodore frowned, hands burrowing into his pockets. “That… that’s bollocks, though. I can tell she really likes you, Blaise.”

The tops of his dark cheeks turned darker, making Blaise look away. “You… think so?”

“Yeah!” Theodore grinned, nudging him. “I think so!”

“Huh,” Blaise looked a bit pleased, a small smile on his lips that made Theodore’s head a bit light. Blaise so rarely smiled. It was so good to see him happ - “Talking about bullying…”

“Oh no,” Theodore breathed, seeing Mulciber with Williams and Wilkes approaching the two of them in all the Seventh Year strength. “So, what do we do this time?” Theodore asked Blaise, the two pausing in the Fifth Floor hallway.

“Easy one,” Blaise breathed, starting to move back before turning and _sprinting_. “Run, Theo, RUN!”

“YOU’RE DEAD, ZABINI AND NOTT!” Mulciber snarled and Theodore turned around and ran after Blaise, heart in his throat, catching up easily to his friend thanks to his long legs.

“Where are we going?!” Theodore wheezed, turning a hallway and using the wall for momentum, looking at his friend.

“Anywhere, fuck, anywhere!” Blaise looked behind them both, seeing the three Slytherins starting to catch up. “Cazzo, cazzo, _cazzo!_ ” he breathed, panting already. 

“Think, Theo, think!” Theodore turned to the right, right under the stairs, the two boys ducking under before jumping over the railing, an easy jump for them, getting near - “That’s right! We’re on the Fifth Floor!”

“What?!” Blaise wheezed and Theodore grabbed his hand, rushing to the familiar classroom, Mulciber nearly at their heels and just as the door came to view, he felt the Seventh Year grab the back of his tunic and shove him down, Theodore rolling on the floor and _slamming_ his shoulder against the door, whining.

“You think you’re tough shit, huh?” Wilkins sneered, Blaise rushing to help Theodore out, glaring at the other boys. “Heard you’ve been talking to Potter, you think this is fucking funny, Nott? Is that what you want? To go about with Gryffindors because you think you’re better than all of us?”

“I don’t think I’m better than anyone,” Theodore rasped, panting hard from the adrenaline coursing through him. “I’m not _you_ , Mulciber, you cowardly _prick_.”

“ _Theo_ ,” Blaise breathed as Williams and Mulciber stomped closer, ready to beat the shit out of the two Third Years when the door of the classroom opened and Professor Lupin appeared haloed in the light of the windows behind him, like a knight. Theodore nearly cried with relief as the other Slytherins froze.

“Could I ask,” the professor began, looking between the two boys and the three other ones. “What is going on?”

“Nott fell,” Williams said clumsily. “We were going to help him.”

“I see,” Lupin said, seeing right through the bullshit but when he looked at Theodore and Blaise, who were shaking their heads, he seemed to let it be. “I’ve got this, hmm? No need for your help then. Thank you,” he smiled tersely and Mulciber threw a deep glare at Blaise and Theo before the three of them walked away. 

Blaise checked Theodore’s shoulder, which was starting to hurt _so much_. He grunted as Blaise helped him up, adrenaline fading from his veins.

“Come in,” Lupin told them, surprising the two boys, looking at each other. “I won’t scold you,” he promised, his scarred face gentle. “I only want to check on that shoulder. No fuzz, no Infirmary unless you really need it.”

“...alright,” Theodore sighed, walking inside, Lupin closing the door behind them. Blaise said nothing, simply gripping Theodore’s wrist tight. He looked on edge - Mulciber always set Blaise on edge, actually, and Theodore’s hand moved to grip his, squeezing. 

When they reached Lupin’s office, the professor gestured for them to sit, boiling some water in a kettle and preparing some tea, Blaise not letting go of Theodore’s hand. It was sweaty but Theodore didn’t let go either, his shoulder pumping with pain, heat sinking. 

“Are you two alright?” Lupin finally asked.

“We’re fine,” Blaise said, a bit cutting.

“It was just a question, Mr Zabini,” Lupin said calmly, raising a hand. “No need for explanations. I understand that things can get complex and telling a professor or the authorities might not be the safest thing for you two. I just want to know if you both are okay.”

“We’re fine,” Theodore finally said, much softer than Blaise, who was glaring at the edge of Lupin’s desk. If he hated Fernández, he hated Lupin even more. The man was too soft for him, too _meek_ for Blaise’s liking. Or maybe it’d been that after Blaise’s boggart had scared him to fucking _death_ , Lupin had pulled him away and tried to _talk about it_.

Nobody talks about _feelings_ with Blaise. Not deep, hidden ones. Not the repressed ones.

“Let me check on that shoulder,” Lupin began, moving to Theodore and when Theo looked at Blaise, he knew that his friend wanted to rip Lupin’s hands off him. Theodore began to rub his thumb on the back of Blaise’s hand, hoping to calm him down as he hissed when Lupin poked and prodded at his shoulder.

“On a scale from one to ten, how much does it hurt?” Lupin asked gently.

“Oh, uh, just a four,” Theodore confessed and Blaise nudged him, glaring.

“Are you sure?” he asked, knowing that Theodore’s scale of pain was fucked.

“Right. Shite. Uh, I guess an eight,” Theodore mumbled and Lupin paused.

“You might need to go to the Infirmary, after all,” he sighed. “Pomfrey will check it in a moment and you’ll be out in just a few minutes, alright?”

“Yes, sir,” Theodore grabbed his cup of tea, drinking it, surprised to see that it was the exact same blend that Professor Fernández always offered him. “Is - is this lavender mint, sir?”

“Ah, yes,” Professor Lupin nodded, giving him a small smile. “I ran out of mine and Elías lent me some, before he left.”

“I like it,” Theodore confessed softly and Blaise sighed, rubbing the back of his shaved head, exasperated with Theodore. But Theo was used to it, simply giving Lupin a small smile.

“Uh, is Professor Fernández gone already, then?” he asked.

“Yes,” Lupin nodded, sitting down. “Left this morning for Spain, I’m afraid. Is there anything you need from him?”

“Oh, no, no,” he shook his head. “Just Hermione, sir, she was asking for him.”

“Hermione,” Lupin blinked, surprised. “I… see.”

“We’ll be leaving for the Infirmary, then,” Blaise abruptly stood, tapping his foot. “Thank you for the tea, professor Lupin.”

Blaise hadn’t touched his.

“Come on,” he urged Theo, who drained his cup and waved at Lupin, who waved back. Theodore hadn’t had many interactions with the man outside of the academic so to know that he had their back, that he understood that sometimes telling professors about bullies was a bad idea… it was nice. 

“You were rude,” Theodore pointed out, holding his shoulder as they walked to the Infirmary. “Very rude, Blaise.”

“Sorry but he makes me _so_ angry,” Blaise gritted his teeth. “He’s in on it.”

“In on what?” Theo frowned.

“Whatever it is that Fernández has over Dumbledore!” the boy exploded and Theodore groaned.

“You’re as annoying as Draco with Potter, I swear,” he murmured.

“No, no, this is _different_. I don’t trust Fernández and I don’t trust Lupin and I don’t want them anywhere near my friends and family,” Blaise said firmly. “Let’s get your shoulder checked out and find the others, alright? With luck, we won’t run into Mulciber and his friends again.”

“At least we’re leaving tomorrow,” Theodore whispered, relieved.

* * *

The next morning found the Slytherin troupe in the potions classroom, chimney ready to bring them to the Malfoy Manor, where their parents would be. They all arrived in varying states of sleepiness, the biggest perpetrator being Draco, who was basically snoozing against Greg’s side, the boy rubbing his back.

To their surprise, when Snape arrived, he did so in a fairly good mood, reading a letter as he entered the classroom. Pansy elbowed Theodore, giggling under her breath, leaning into him as she whispered, “What do you want to bet it’s from Professor Fernández?” she grinned and Theodore smirked back.

“Do you think it’s a love letter?” he whispered to her.

“For sure. I bet it’s poetry,” she said excitedly, Vince also listening in on the conversation, the biggest gossip of them all.

“He left yesterday, are they really writing to each other already?” Vince asked.

“They're in _love_ , Vince, of _course_ ,” Pansy rolled her eyes.

“But what about Lupin?” Theodore murmured.

“ _Fuck_ Lupin, uncle Severus is a _thousand_ times better,” Pansy fumed a bit.

The three of them went silent when Severus cleared his throat, gathering everyone’s attention, putting the letter aside.

“Are you all ready?” he asked, arms crossing.

“Yes, sir,” they chorused, Draco’s a bit late.

“Good. We shall go by pairs,” the professor gestured at his office. “Pansy and Vincent. Theodore and Blaise. Draco and Gregory. Let’s go.”

Pansy and Vince went first, the two whispering among each other, making Severus roll his eyes and Draco finally yawned and stretched, moving to lean onto Theodore, the boy petting his hair. “You’re a terrible morning person,” Theodore laughed.

“Always have been,” the Malfoy mumbled. “Can’t wait to see mother and father, though.”

“And it’s blooming season,” Greg pointed out, immediately making Draco smile. “You think your pansies will have bloomed now?”

“Oh! Maybe!” his eyes widened. “D’you think Pansy will like them?”

“She’ll adore them,” Blaise hummed, leaning against a desk, smiling. “What I can’t wait for is for this Sunday. I haven’t seen Harvey in ages.”

“Me too,” Theodore grinned. “You think everyone will really come?”

“Try to, at least,” Blaise shrugged. “My family is coming, so why not the rest?”

“I kind of just want to see Uncle Corban,” Greg muttered, making everyone go a bit quiet. “He’s… not been doing okay, lately. Did you all see him the other day?”

“No,” Blaise murmured. “But I’m pretty sure it won’t be pretty.”

“Do you all know what’s going on?” Theodore asked.

“Pretty obvious,” Draco sighed, rubbing his face. “I overheard mother talking about it, anyway, the other day, when I went to the bathroom. He’s been _sobering up_.”

“We knew he had a drinking problem,” Greg intervened gently. “He’s still the same.”

“He’s suffering,” Theodore whispered, making Draco purse his lips and nod.

“Well, then,” Blaise spoke up, succinct as always. “Then we give him a good day on Sunday.”

“Yeah,” Greg nodded, grinning. “Yeah!”

“Next!” Severus spoke from the office, making Theo and Blaise walk over to the office, finding Severus waiting. “Next, you two. Grab some floo powder and through the chimney.”

The boys nodded, taking some powder into their hands and stepping on the clean fireplace, calling forth the Malfoy Manor and immediately being engulfed by colorful flames they were both familiar with. Once on the other side, Blaise and Theodore were _immediately_ attacked with kisses by Narcissa, making Theodore laugh loudly.

“My boy, my _boys_!” she planted a fat kiss on Blaise’s cheek, leaving a clear red imprint on it and Blaise watched her fondly instead of irritated. Theodore just gave her a tight hug, grinning. “You’re both here! Come on, come on! Blaise, darling, your mother is in the drawing room with everyone else! Leave your bags, boys, leave your bags, go be free!”

“Thank you, Aunt Cissa,” Blaise said, smiling at her and Theodore gave her another tight hug, Narcissa’s arms so familiar and lovely and _safe_ around him. He felt a thousand times better, so far away from England, from his father. And in the familiar Manor that he’d stayed in a thousand times.

“We’ve got your bed ready,” Narcissa told him, hands cupping Theodore’s face, her grey eyes warm and soft as Theodore nodded with enthusiasm. “I get to keep my little comet for a week! Aaaaall to myself!” she laughed, smooching his cheek and if he’d been in public, he would’ve felt embarrassed but the womanly, motherly touch almost made him tear up, his eyes burning a bit.

He missed his mother.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Go. Go with everyone, come on,” she urged, patting his shoulder, which was completely healed from yesterday thanks to Pomfrey.

Theo went to the drawing room, grinning as he saw Signora Zabini and Giorgio, her husband, greeting Blaise warmly in Italian. Blaise soaked in his mother’s touch, his hand over her slightly bull belly and his face against her shoulder, her hands running through his shaved head with a smile.

“Ah, Teodoro!” she greeted, opening her arms and Theodore laughed, moving to them, her lips finding his forehead. “You are so tall, si? Growing so much! I won’t be able to keep up!”

“I’m taller than Blaise now,” he grinned.

“Shut up,” Blaise elbowed him, laughing and Theodore grinned at Kiera Parkinson as she also approached. “Hey, néni Kiara,” he greeted.

“Hello to you two!” she smiled, her hand cupping their chins and gently squeezing. “My, my, but you’re right, Sienna! They’re getting so big!”

“Big boys, big lunch,” Sienna declared, sitting down on her chair, crossing her legs and making her red dress shimmer. “I’m _starving_ ! When are Draco and Greg arriving? _Andiamo, andiamo!_ ”

Theodore laughed, moving to greet everyone else, including Lucius, who pulled him into a much gentler hug than all the mothers in the room, squeezing the back of Theodore’s neck gently and looking over him with softness.

“Are you good, my boy?” he asked, a bit privately and Theodore nodded wordlessly.

“I am, sir,” he replied softly. 

“How many times must I tell you not to call me sir?” Lucius chuckled, patting his shoulder. “This house is yours as well, Theo. Did you let Frederik take your bags?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, smiling. “Aunt Cissa said my bed was ready.”

“And it always is,” Lucius insisted, straightening up as Draco’s voice was heard, his face lighting up. “Get comfortable,” he told Theo, smiling. “You’re home now.”

* * *

“Hey, Theo?”

Theodore blinked in the darkness of Draco’s bedroom, stuffed from dinner and warm from the comfortable sheets around him, the smell of Draco’s bedroom, face against the fluffiest pillow.

“Hmm?” he asked sleepily.

“Are you alright?”

Theodore paused, not understanding the question, his brain working a bit hard to get the context in which Draco was speaking. 

“Wha?” he asked, yawning.

“Sorry, I -” Draco paused, turning around in his bed and looking over at Theodore in the very very faint light of the full moon outside. “I just… I’m worried, Theo. You’ve never stayed for Easter. Is… your father that bad?”

“Without my mum? Yeah,” Theodore sighed, hugging the pillow to his chest, swallowing. “He’s angrier than ever, Draco. I don’t know what I’m gonna do this summer. If he remembers I exist… I would rather just live at Hogwarts.”

“Here would be nice, though,” Draco murmured, making Theo laugh.

“Yeah, it would,” he said quietly. “... I like being at your house.”

“Everyone likes it when you’re here,” Draco replied and Theodore felt his eyes _burn_ , throat tight, making him breathe out shakily. “Theo?”

“T-thanks,” he stuttered. “I… Draco, I think my father’s right, sometimes.”

“What?! No!” Draco sat up in his bed, eyes wide.

“I feel so much like - like it was my fault,” he confessed, tears spilling. “He was poisoning her, I didn’t see it, I couldn’t - my father’s _right_ , I’m so _stupid_ . I’m so, so _stupid_.”

“You’re _not_ stupid!” Draco said firmly, getting out of his bed before moving to Theodore’s climbing on it and hugging his friend tight, Theodore trying hard not to fully sob. To Draco it was so easy to touch others like this - hugs and kisses and sleeping on each other. Theodore could never initiate those, usually. Not unless he was extremely happy. “Theo, your father is a _prick_. He’s a downright prick and he doesn’t know shite about you!”

“How do you know?” Theodore sobbed, turning to him. “Merlin, Draco, I - I can’t take another summer with him. Not without mum. Fuck, _shite_ , Draco, my mum is _gone_.”

“I’m sorry,” Draco’s eyes also shone. “Theo, I’m so sorry -”

“She’s _gone_ -” Theodore cried, letting Draco pull him into a hug before he just dissolved into tears, feeling the brunt of death like a hippogriff at full-speed hitting him right in the gut. He’d cried like this many, many times in the past months, ever since his mother died. But every time it happened, it just felt _worse_ , never better. He still didn’t feel like it was real. He felt like, at any moment, she’d walk through the door. She’d send him a letter with hearts on the i’s. He’d hear her beautiful song accompanied by the harp that his father had angrily thrown to the trash. “Merlin, _Merlin_ , Draco, she’s gone, she’s _gone_ , mum - _mum_ -” he choked.

The bedroom door opened, revealing Narcissa and Theodore stared at her with wide eyes, feeling guilt and shame but Narcissa, in nightgown and no makeup and her hair down, simply approached the bed and sat down, hand moving to Theodore’s back, rubbing it gently, letting him cry. And cry Theodore did. So hard and so fully, voice breaking and hands over his eyes and absolutely _hysterical_ because he missed her so much.

“It’s alright,” Narcissa soothed gently, brushing his hair. “It’s alright, Theo. We’re here. You’ve got us, you’re not alone.”

“You’ve got all of us,” Draco promised, hugging Theodore tightly.

“You’re safe here,” Lucius added, having come at some point where Theodore didn’t notice but, eventually, crying led to exhaustion, leading to sleep. Fitful, restful, deep sleep with Draco’s arms around him and the Malfoy parents glancing at each other with worried looks.


	52. The Weasley's and the Fernández's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. So. This is a chapter I've wanted to put out for a while. BIG MOMENT. Big things happening. I'm just hoping it'll look half as good as I planned it and it all goes WELL. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this chapter:  
> \- Mention of child abuse  
> \- Mention of mental illness  
> \- Mention of medication  
> \- Mention of pregnancy

The Weasley parents were waiting inside the Ministry already when Elías arrived at the British Ministry of Magic, dressed in his usual attire of jeans and a print shirt and his many jewels, forgoing the suit, since this was about making Harry comfortable. He was a bit early but he immediately spotted Arthur and Molly Weasley – redheaded, freckled and with worried looks on their faces. Elías recognized them mostly because Fred and George looked _identical_ to Molly.

They didn’t notice Elías until the professor was in front of them, passing by busy, hurried wizards and witches, standing with a small smile.

“Hello there,” he greeted, making both parents look over him, surprised. “I’m Professor Elías Fernández Oviedo. I’m guessing you’re Arthur and Molly?”

“Oh, yes, yes!” Arthur nodded, quickly reaching over to shake Elías’ hand, looking slightly delighted while Molly gave him a kind smile. “Arthur Weasley!”

“And Molly Weasley,” she also shook his hand, nodding at him. “I… well, I can’t begin to tell you how unfortunate it is that we’re meeting in these circumstances.”

“Quite so,” Elías sighed, arms crossing. “But at the very least, things are moving forward. Ron, Hermione and Harry told me that you are key witnesses and you can help, aside from… well, Ron was quite sure that you two would be interested in being Harry’s guardians.”

“We’ve known the boy since he first went to King’s Cross,” Molly explained, looking haggard. “We… we thought the boys were exaggerating, that it wasn’t _that_ bad…”

“If we’d known –“ Arthur tried but Elías raised a hand.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, rubbing his jaw. “We don’t want to believe the worst, sometimes. It’s easier for us to dismiss these claims. But now we’re here and Harry is out of that house and it’s – just one more interview, that’s all.”

“Thank you,” Molly said and Elías felt his stomach churn as she watched him sadly. “Thank you for – for doing this.”

“It’s my duty,” Elías murmured, looking at the chimney where Ron, Harry and Hermione were supposed to arrive. “It’s my duty as a teacher, Mrs Weasley.”

“Just call me Molly,” she insisted and Elías smiled at her.

“Then call me Elías, then,” he replied, nodding.

“Pardon me, just – I am _so_ curious,” Arthur began, making Elías blink at him. “Are you by chance muggleborn?”

Well, Elías _did_ dress like a muggle. Of course he’d been uh, clocked?

“Yes, I am,” he nodded, still wanting to look professional.

“Oh, wonderful!” Arthur exclaimed, making Molly sigh and rub her cheek and Elías just… stare. “Well, I – I find muggles _fascinating_ , you see?”

“Oh?” Elías asked, feeling a sense of absolute _annoyance_ but wanting to hide it well. These people were purebloods. Of course they’d talk about muggles as if they were animals, even if their intentions weren’t malicious. It was probably the most irritating side of blood purism.

“So perhaps you could tell me –“

“There they are!” Molly exclaimed, making the other two men turn to the chimney, where Harry, Hermione and Ron were accompanied by. “…and Professor Snape?”

“Sev!” Elías called, face bright, making the Weasley’s turn to him with wide eyes but Elías ignored it, moving to the kids and his friend. “You’re their supervisor?”

“Dumbledore saw to it,” he replied dryly, watching him.

“Hey, guys,” Elías smiled at them, Harry looking nervous but Hermione and Ron flanked him, protecting him. “Are you ready?”

“Not really,” Harry confessed quietly. “But it’s just going to happen…”

“Good to see you all in one piece,” Arthur told the kids as Molly moved to hug all three of them, fuzzing over their hair and wrinkles in their clothes. It reminded Elías of his own grandmother, Mamún.

“Thank you for bringing them, Severus,” Molly thanked the man, who simply nodded back, moving closer to Elías and looking around the Ministry curiously, as if searching for someone.

“Are you staying, then?” Elías asked him as their little group began to move towards the elevators.

“Dumbledore told me to and I cannot disobey the Headmaster now, can I?” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him and Elías smirked.

“Not like me?” he snickered.

“Not like you,” Severus smirked back.

“You actually saved me just now,” Elías whispered as Arthur and Molly spoke to the kids. “Apparently, I’m quite a circus spectacle to the Weasley’s.”

“Arthur Weasley has a fascination for muggles,” Severus explained, scowling. “Yet he knows not much of them.”

“Sounds like some people I know,” Elías snorted, making Severus nod.

“It all stems from the same place, after all. Ignorance,” he hummed, looking over at Elías before frowning. “Are you sunburnt?”

“A bit,” Elías laughed, touching his red nose and cheeks, leaving soft white imprints of his fingers. “I uh, went to the beach yesterday and spent _all day_ in the water. And also went for a swim before I came here. It was refreshing.”

“That explains the state of your hair,” Severus replied, looking at the waves Elías was sporting instead of the usual straightness. “…it’s strange.”

“My hair?”

“I can smell the salt on you,” Severus replied. “Brine.”

“Well, get ready to smell that a lot when you get to Cartagena,” Elías laughed, making him roll his eyes. “Is it truly that awful to you?”

“It’s not awful,” Severus told him, lips twitching. “Just potent.”

“Sorry, then,” Elías grinned at him, not at all sorry as they all climbed into the elevator, Elías gently guiding Ron closer so they’d all be able to fit – only for someone to also join them, making Elías’ face brighten up. “Lyall! Hi!”

“Oh, hello, Elías,” he smiled at him, closing the elevator. “Busy even in holidays, huh?”

“I’m afraid so,” Elías gave him a small smile, thinking of Remus and how the last time Elías had saw him, he’d been trying to pull him and Sirius off each other.

“You’re still coming to the lake this Saturday, right?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, I wouldn’t miss it,” he promised, knowing fully well that he’d just admitted to going to this house in front of everyone. If they figured out that he was Remus’ father, Elías knew the rumors would spread like wildfire. No way were those three gits keeping it to themselves, not in Gryffindor.

“Good, good, I’ll see you soon, then” Lyall seemed happy, though, and Elías hoped Remus wasn’t too mad at him as he left on the fourth floor, the elevator in awkward silence, Elías staring deeply ahead so he would avoid the inquisitive looks his other companions were giving him. Except Severus. Bless him.

“Who was that?” Hermione asked, the curious little girl that made Elías nearly want to throw himself off the elevator. Before he could respond, though, Severus answered.

“It’s none of your business, Ms Granger,” and, to his credit, he actually said it calmly and not in a scowl. Elías turned to him, impressed, eyebrows rising and Severus gave him a deadpan look. He’d saved Elías’ ass, better not to poke the bear.

Finally, they reached their floor and Elías was elated to finally get out of that elevator, finding Tonks already waiting, her hair a shade of bubblegum pink and when she looked up, her face lit up.

“Molly! Arthur! Hey!” she waved, making Elías blink.

“You know them?” he asked, surprised.

“We’re related,” Arthur explained, moving to hug Tonks, patting her shoulder. “How’s your mother? I haven’t seen her in a while!”

“She’s good, she’s good,” she smiled brightly. “Are you here with Harry?”

“Yes! Yes, we were hoping to discuss some terms of adoption,” Arthur nodded, Harry’s face looking so hopeful that it made Elías nervous. If this didn’t go as planned… the boy would be very hurt.

“Oh. _Oh_ ,” Tonks said, eyes widening and she glanced at Molly and Arthur before her face turned into one of worry. Oh no. That didn’t seem too well. “How – how about we do the interview first, Harry? Would you like to come to my office alone or with your friends?”

“With them, please,” he said softly and Tonks nodded, gesturing at Ron and Hermione to follow as Elías, Severus, Arthur and Molly walked to the seating area, restlessly waiting there.

“Did you see her face?” Molly whispered to Arthur, who nodded. “Doesn’t look too good…”

“I’m guessing it’s our income,” he sighed, making Elías’ throat close up. “Being realistic, Molls… we can’t take care of the boy the way _he_ needs.”

“I know, oh, I _know_ ,” she breathed, hands over her cheeks as Elías pretended not to listen to their muttering. “I’m just so worried, Arthur… he’s Harry Potter! How many politicians will try and sneak in to get him for horrible reasons? People have been speaking, they _know_ the boy will be given into adoption.”

“We try anyway,” Arthur replied, pursing his lips. “I can take a second job –“

“You already take on so many extra hours, Arthur!” Molly gasped and Elías felt nauseous, thinking of this family that very obviously loved Harry, and whom Harry loved back. Beside him, Severus made not a single noise, arms crossed, staring at the wall and very obviously listening in, too.

“If –“ Elías began to speak, making the Weasley’s turn to him. “If you _do_ get permission to adopt Harry, I – I would like to contribute to it. I could help – monetarily. And – and with anything else he might need.”

Severus made a quiet noise of surprise that Elías was sure only he heard. Molly looked _absolutely_ moved while Arthur looked down at his knees, ashamed, making Elías wanted to smack himself in the face. Had he been too forward? Was this too much? He didn’t know how to approach the subject but Harry deserved a loving home.

“That’s very kind of you, dear,” Molly told Elías, her hand moving to squeeze his arm, making Elías nod slowly. “You’ve already done so much for that boy –“

“And I’ll keep helping until he graduates,” Elías cut in, making Arthur finally look up at him. “He’s my _student_. Which means he’s _my_ kid. I will help him in every way I can.”

Molly’s lower lip quivered and Elías clumsily reached into his pocket before offering her a handkerchief, making her laugh a bit, accepting it with a small smile.

“That’s very kind of you,” Arthur whispered.

“No, it’s – it’s just my duty,” Elías muttered, swallowing.

It was, it _was his duty_. He would cut down anyone who looked at his kids wrong. Not just Harry but also the other ones. But – but _especially_ Theodore and Harry. Those two boys had had _enough_ of other people walking over them, uncaring of protecting minors, protecting gullible and naïve teenagers that didn’t know any better. Elías wanted to scream at everyone that Elías wasn’t being _kind_ , he was just doing the _right thing_.

“In any case, thank you,” Molly said and Arthur nodded, seemingly with a knot in his throat and Elías wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. That they were just part of an unfair, rigged system that delivered only benefits to those already at the top and nothing but misery to those at the bottom. Elías was privileged enough to be able to take care of Harry, he could _do it_. And Harry would get a loving family and everything he deserved.

“You’re absolutely welcome,” Elías replied quietly, moving back to sit upright on his seat as Severus watched him with inscrutable eyes, Elías exhaling slowly.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that a woman walked over to them, giving a small, kind, fake smile. Elías immediately wanted to punch her, the fakeness setting his teeth on edge but Arthur and Molly smiled back at her.

“I was made to understand that some of you would like to file in as possible guardians to Mr Harry Potter?” she asked.

As the Weasley’s stood and left with the woman, Severus turned to Elías, frowning deeply, the Spaniard biting away the already chipped polish in his thumbnail.

“You’d truly put your money on -”

“ _Yes_ ,” Elías cut in, looking back at him, frowning back. “In a _fucking heartbeat_.”

“The Weasley’s cannot take care of him,” Severus told him, a truth that hurt so much more than he knew. “They won’t accept them as possible guardians if they don’t have the income in the first place.”

“They can still try,” Elías said quietly.

“Potter will either go to an orphanage or to a foster home, Elías,” Severus sighed, watching him with a look of pity. “Unless someone decides to adopt him - someone with the money, the time and the experience with kids - then he’s bound to an orphanage. A muggle orphanage.”

Elías felt his heart in his throat, blood roaring in his ears and he shook his head, “I - it’ll - it’ll be _okay_ , Sev, t-they just have to talk to Tonks. They’ll - I’ll _help_ , I’ll put it on paper! I should go to -”

“Elías,” Severus reached over to grab his wrist, pursing his lips, watching him with what looked like pity. “It won’t matter.”

“How do you know?” Elías asked, wrenching his hand away from Severus, already too emotionally invested into the Potter boy. “How do you know that he’ll -”

“Because I’ve _been there_ with Corban,” Severus snapped, making Elías go quiet. “When his parents were murdered and we were sixteen. He had to go to a damn muggle orphanage and it was _hell on Earth_.”

“So I’ve just doomed Harry, is what you mean?” Elías asked, strangled, feeling the immediate wash of guilt and horror. 

“I don’t -”

“Was Dumbledore right?” Elías asked, eyes wide, hands shaking and Severus looked around, not wanting to draw attention to each other before sighing, leaning over to whisper to him.

“Dumbledore wasn’t right, Elías, Petunia was horrid to him, as I’ve read on that letter. You did your duty as a professor, a duty that no other could perform because of Dumbledore himself. At the very least, Potter won’t be living in the orphanage everyday. He just has to go there in the summer, right?” he tried to explain.

“What have I done?” Elías whispered, hands on his face, watching the floor wide-eyed. “If - if the Weasley’s can’t take him - and if Harry doesn’t accept any other guardians -”

“He doesn’t have a choice to _deny_ a guardian,” Severus told him and Elías made a noise of surprise and utter disgust, looking up. “If there’s two who want to adopt him? Yes. But if there is only one… and it’s a suitable guardian? Then he has to go. For the protection of Wizarding Society.”

“No,” Elías whispered, feeling like he’d just fucked up majorly. “No, that’s - Severus, that’s _impossible_. That can’t - _they can’t do that!_ That’s not how it works in the muggle -”

“They can. It’s how it works here,” Severus replied, looking dead serious. “I’m sorry, Elías. I know you did what you thought was the best for him.”

“The Weasley’s already have children, they’ve - they’ve had more, though! They can argue in favor of - of this adoption!” Elías pushed, eyes wide.

“I sincerely hope they can,” Severus told him but he looked grim.

And ten minutes later, as Elías turned on his seat and saw the devastated faces of the two Weasley parents, he knew what had happened. Molly was crying softly into the handkerchief he’d given her earlier and Arthur was clutching her hand tightly, the social worker giving them another fake understanding smile.

Elías felt his heart give out, drop to his feet and his world tickled into a single second. A split, little moment where he saw Harry being manipulated for politics by people like Crouch, like Fudge - Elías felt anger and misery and once more, like so many other times, saw the train start to move. Heard the whistle, smelled the smoke of the engines, the screech of metal over metal. But he wouldn’t let it go by.

Elías stood, decisive, his mind made up, not hearing Severus’ call of his name or the surprised noise the Weasley’s made, hearing his father’s voice in the back of his head, his advice as he sat with a bleeding nose on the concrete of a San Fernando road, hand on his shoulder.

_If you’ve got the chance to help someone, take it. You could be someone’s lucky star._

“Hi,” he said breathlessly, his accent a bit thicker than anticipated as he spoke to the social worker. “I’d like to offer myself as a future guardian for Harry James Potter.”

* * *

“You don’t -”

“I know -”

“You’re twenty -”

“I know!”

“And you _live in Spain -_ ”

“I _know!_ ” Elías hissed to Severus, the two outside the Ministry of Magic now, Harry talking quietly with the Weasley parents as they broke the news of their rejection to the kids. Elías still felt adrenaline inside him, his heart beating a thousand miles an hour, watching Harry with different eyes. “Oh Gods. Sev - Severus, my parents are going to kill me. I didn’t even _think_ , I just _did_ -”

“You’re _insane_ ,” Severus snarled at him, making Elías’ eyes burn. “You need to speak to the Spanish Ministry of Magic, you’ve to make sure you’ve _space for the boy_ , can your income take it, can you take care of a _teenage boy_?! Your impulsiveness is reckless and irresponsible, he’s a _human being_! Not a pet! You’ve a target on your back for being a _you-know-what-”_

“So does he,” Elías replied, making Severus pause. “He’s the fucking Boy Who Lived, Sev. Do you think I don’t know that? I know what I’ve to do, I know it was impulsive and irresponsible and reckless but tell me, what else could I have done in these circumstances?! Huh?! Just let the boy _rot_ in an orphanage or _worse_ , let a politician or a still-loyal Deatheater come around and put him into an even worse home?!”

“You think it’s going to be easy? Severus asked him, incredulous.

“No! At no point did I state that!” Elías retorted, laughing with surprise. “Holy _shit_ , Sev, Of course I know it won’t be easy!”

“You’re _bipolar_ ,” Severus told him, hands moving to his shoulders, shaking him, making Elías gasp. “Don’t you understand? You _can’t_ lay in your bed for two weeks without eating, now you’ve a _life_ to take care of! If you are going to take care of the boy, you’ve to take care of _yourself_. He’s a _child_. And you’ll be an adult, his _guardian_.”

“I know,” Elías croaked, feeling his eyes burn, sobbing softly and Severus released him, looking away, rubbing a hand over his mouth with a sigh. “I’ll… I’ll take my meds. I’ll go to my psychiatrist. And to my therapist weekly. I’ll work on m-myself. And - and let others help me.”

“Damn it, Elías,” Severus sighed deeply, looking over at him, shaking his head. “You crazy _fool_.”

“I had to _do something_ ,” Elías muttered. “I have the means to help him. I know it was impulsive, Sev, but I - I have a big family. My parents are healthy and t-they can help me if anything arises. I know I’m - too young and… I’m a… you know but - but I - I _genuinely_ believe I can help him.”

Severus watched him, clicking his tongue with his eyes closed before he opened them and, to Elías’ surprise, Severus pulled him into a hug, his hand cupping the back of his head. Elías melted into the embrace, clutching the back of his robes, breathing in and out carefully, trying to calm down before he had to face Harry.

“What if he doesn’t want to come with me?” Elías breathed.

“Imbecile,” Severus huffed. “That boy adores you.”

“He won’t always,” Elías mumbled.

“That’s teenagers,” Severus replied dryly, pulling back, giving him a smirk. “He’ll _hate_ you every time you tell him what to do.”

“Gods, my mum will be so happy and so disappointed at the same time,” Elías laughed, brushing away his tears, shaking his head. “Always asks me about dates and people. Guess what, ma? I brought you a grandson. First of the cousins.”

“None of your cousins have kids yet?” Severus cocked an eyebrow. 

“None. And uh, guess we have to wait still, for the verdict,” Elías swallowed, watching Severus with a thankful look. “...thanks for the hug, Sev.”

“You needed it,” was all he said, brushing the front of his robes as he cleared his throat.

“Um… professor?”

Elías turned, seeing Harry in front of him, swallowing hard. Alright, time to face the music.

“Hey, Harry,” he began quietly, watching the boy. “I’m sorry the Weasley’s can’t take you.”

“They said you applied to be my guardian,” Harry crossed his arms, as if trying to guard himself. “Is… is that true?”

“Yeah,” Elías whispered. “I… I can withdraw, if you want me to?”

He didn’t want to. He couldn’t bear to. But if Harry didn’t want to come with him, he would withdraw. The boy had little choices in life and if he wanted the orphanage… then he’d have the orphanage.

“Please don’t,” Harry quickly said, though, making Elías exhale loudly, his hands shaking. “I know I’m er, not the best student but… if the Weasley’s can’t take me, I-I’ll be happy to go with you.”

“O-Oh,” Elías stuttered, almost bursting into tears all over again, feeling Severus close to him, giving him strength in this conversation. “That’s - that’s n-nice to hear, Harry.”

“You’ve done a lot already, though, and I - if you’re doing this for… for whatever reason that doesn’t -” Harry tried but Elías was shaking his head, hand moving to his shoulder.

“Harry, you’re a _good kid_ ,” he told the boy, slowly moving to his knees so Harry would be taller, watching him. “You’re loyal, you’re a good friend, you’re absurdly brave and you’ve a heart of gold. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” he squeezed the boy’s shoulders, seeing the insecurity, the abuse of so many years. “Do you like the beach?” he asked.

“I’ve… never been,” Harry confessed quietly, rubbing his nose, looking also on the verge of tears.

“Well, my house is right in front of it,” Elías smiled, making Harry relax a bit. “It’s a bit further away, in Spain. You… might need to learn a little Spanish. And we have to do some heavy paperwork. But in the summers, you could invite Ron and Hermione over.”

“Could I?” his eyes widened.

“Yeah!” Elías nodded, grinning. “Have a big sleepover. Invite all your friends, if you want. I know it’ll probably be a bit overwhelming but I also have a big family. And they’re all very friendly.”

“That’s… that sounds nice,” Harry muttered.

“If it all goes well, which I pray it does,” Elías squeezed his shoulders. “Then by this summer, we could start working on getting a room ready for you.”

Harry rubbed at his eyes, nodding, letting out a soft little wounded noise and immediately, Ron was moving to his side, Hermione right behind him, the two of them obviously having been eavesdropping on the conversation.

“I’d like that,” he sniffled.

“It’ll be okay, Harry,” Elías promised him, hand lifting the boy’s chin, feeling his heart clench at the tears in his green eyes. “I won’t let anyone else take advantage of you.”

The Weasley’s approached them all, finally, as Elías stood again, looking at him with varying looks of disbelief and worry. Elías understood, seasoned parents that they were. But Elías would prove every doubt wrong - and not for himself, to prove to himself anything. But for Harry. For the boy. For him to never have to suffer again.

“It’s time to go back to Hogwarts,” Severus stated, making Elías look over at him, seeing his unreadable face. “You three. With me. Say your goodbyes.”

“Goodbye, Arthur, Molly,” Harry murmured to them, receiving tight hugs. “Thank you for everything. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out how we wanted.”

“All that matters is your safety and happiness, Harry,” Molly told him, kissing his forehead before also doing so with Hermione and Ron, rubbing a spot on the latter’s cheek, much to Ron’s annoyance.

“Would you, by chance, be free for dinner tonight?” Severus asked Elías quietly, making Elías turn to him, frowning.

“I’m afraid not,” he sighed. “I’ve to speak to my parents. To my _family_.”

“Ought to be a tough conversation,” Severus hummed. “Good luck, then.”

“Thank you,” Elías ran a hand through his hair, sighing even deeper. “And… thank you for being here. And talk to me. I know you mean well with all that worry, all of the things you put are absolutely true. I just need you to know that I’m - I’m going to work on them. For him.”

“You care _so much_ for everyone,” Severus muttered, shaking his head. “And you’re so willing to give everyone a little piece of you. Be _careful_ , Elías. One day you won’t have enough of yourself to give and you’ll realize that you’re left with nothing.”

Elías pursed his lips, “That’s what my ma says.”

“Wise woman. Listen to her,” he knocked Elías’ forehead with a gentle knuckle, making Elías whine, pouting a bit. “Take care. Until Friday.”

“See you on Friday,” Elías sighed, watching him grasp Harry’s shoulder and guide the children back to the Ministry halls for the chimneys, always so busy and filled with people, quickly losing sight of Harry’s green eyes in the crowd.

* * *

The calmness of the rented home in Cartagena that followed the biggest fight Elías had ever had with his family was a welcome change, the wizard laying on his bed, watching the ceiling, eyes red and puffy from crying. His throat hurt from screaming and he wanted to do nothing more than to curl over inside his sheets and _cry again_. But he couldn’t muster anymore anger, anymore frustration. He was just _tired_.

There was a knock on his door, soft and gentle, two quick raps and Elías sighed, “Come in,” he called, voice sore, thankful that he didn’t have to think and speak in English.

His father’s head poked in, much calmer than he’d been a while ago, looking also exhausted but ready to _really_ talk. Elías was used to this, sitting up and grasping a pillow, pressing it to his chest, letting his father close the door and walk over to his bed, sitting down on it. It was a bunk bed, one he shared with Jaime but he and his father were short enough to be unbothered by it. The stuffed snake that Paco had given him from the faire bounced a bit as Juan sat, reaching for it, pressing its soft safe against Elías’ cheek. Elías laughed a bit, making his father smile.

“Alright,” he began, sighing deeply, making Elías’ smile drop into something more serious. “Let’s talk. For real, yes? We need to discuss this.”

“I know,” Elías muttered.

“Are you willing to listen?” Juan questioned and Elías nodded, pulling his knees to his chest, watching his dad. “A child is a lot of responsibility. A _lot_. Especially when you’re alone in this.”

“Without a partner, you mean,” Elías swallowed.

“Yes,” he nodded, hand moving to Elías’ hair, gently petting it. “When your mother and I had Elena, you know she just - came without instructions, right?”

“I’m well aware,” Elías snorted.

“And we made mistakes, your mother and I,” Juan added, making Elías frown down at his tattooed hands, gripping his own fingers tightly. “I need you to understand that the mistakes you make, Elías, are going to affect this boy.”

“I know,” Elías rasped.

“And you can’t _sink down_ because of them,” Juan reached over to his shoulder, gripping it tightly, making Elías look up, eyes wet. “Elías, this isn’t about you, it’s about that _kid_. He’ll rely on you for food, clothing, shelter. You _will_ slip up. You’re only human. But if you do, I need you to know that you’ve to pick up the slack and keep going. You get… into your own head so easily. You need patience, love, sympathy and a clear head to take care of a child.”

“I’m going to get back on meds,” Elías told his father and he sighed.

“It’s not just the meds, Elías. That was _your_ choice. And you’ve been doing so very, very well out there at Hogwarts, so far from us. You know your mother and I are proud of you.”

“Are you?” Elías croaked, tears spilling. 

“Of _course_ ,” Juan pulled him into a hug, healing something deep within Elías. His parents’ hugs, their touch, it was always what Elías needed when things got tough and he relished it, despite the kink that was appearing on his thigh because of the awkward position. He enjoyed the warmth and the wide hand rubbing his back. “You won’t be alone in this, raising that kid. If anything happens, you’ve got all of us to back you up.”

“Thank you,” Elías sobbed, clutching at his father’s shirt. “I had to do something, dad, I couldn’t - I just couldn’t let him be taken -”

“I trust that you made the decision that, in your opinion, was the best for that kid,” Juan told him, pulling away. “I have no doubt in my mind that you truly think it was the right thing to do. But I also need you to have your feet on the ground, okay?”

“Okay,” Elías nodded, rubbing at his eyes, sobbing. “Is mom mad?”

“She’s worried,” his father replied, shrugging. “As she always is.”

“They’re all saying I’m insane, aren’t they?” Elías asked.

“At least you didn’t get anyone _pregnant_ ,” Juan snorted and Elías gasped, slapping his arm.

“Dad, _no_!” he laughed, making his father laugh as well before he looked at Elías with a little bit of sigh.

“Elías, I… want to trust you. I know how you are with kids. But I also know that illness can take over you. If you feel bad, if you feel burnt out or sad and overly emotional, just _please_ , please, _son_ ,” he gripped the back of Elías’ neck, begging him. “Just _tell us_. It’s not about you anymore, it’s about _him_.”

Elías felt his throat close up and he nodded, swallowing his pride and his insecurities, thinking of Harry’s little face, his bright smile on the Great Hall, his laughter with his friends. He wanted him to be safe and happy. 

“Mamún wants to give you El Rompido,” Juan spoke, making his eyes widen.

“What?!” he gasped.

“As a gift. For the boy,” he explained. “She wanted me to tell you. She’s been fighting with Virginia and Paloma for a while downstairs. She says you’ll make a great father.”

Elías choked a bit, rubbing his nose, trying not to cry and failing, “She’s always believed in me too much.”

“Maybe so,” Juan smiled at him softly, still looking worried. “How is this boy?”

“He’s - I already told you he’s um, a bit of an exceptional kid,” Elías sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Called him The Boy Who Lived and shit. I explained that to you, right?”

“The… defeat of some dark wizard, right?” Juan frowned.

“Yeah, that was him,” Elías nodded, making Juan’s eyes widen a bit. “So he’s got this lightning scar on his forehead. And people everywhere want to use him for propaganda and such. It’s… insane. I thought a more muggle, more unaware setting would help him.”

“I see,” Juan muttered. “And… he has no relatives?”

“Doesn’t work like that for wizards, I’m afraid,” Elías told him. “It’s either the godfather, the direct uncles or nobody. And his uncle and aunt… well, you know that story.”

“I do,” Juan rubbed his jaw. “He’ll need therapy.”

“I know, I’m ready to help him with that step,” Elías nodded.

“Maybe we could enroll him in a sport? In the summer? Would he like that, maybe make some friends in San Fernando?” Juan asked.

“Maybe, I’d have to ask him,” Elías smiled softly. “The verdict still has to come through, though. The Dursley’s are going to be arrested pretty soon, maybe even today. So Harry… well, the adoption process will take place as early as tomorrow.”

“Keep us updated, alright?” Juan asked him, patting Elías’ knee and the wizard nodded, receiving a kiss on the forehead, shoulders relaxing at the touch. “And don’t listen too much to Elena, alright?”

“Is she still out?” Elías asked, frowning.

“She came back and began to fight with Jaime. So Emilio took her outside,” he explained. “It’ll pass. She’ll be fuming for a while but she’ll warm up to it.”

“Okay,” Elías murmured, then hesitated. “Dad, I… I only wanted to do the right thing. As - as someone with the income, with the means, you know?”

“I know. But those decisions have to be made slowly, with a lot of thought into it,” Juan scolded slightly, making him nod. “Not just in a split second, alright?”

“Alright,” Elías let his forehead fall on Juan’s shoulder, receiving a halfway hug from him. “Thanks, dad. Y’always know what to say.”

“I’m… glad I raised someone with sympathy and heart,” Juan spoke, making Elías’ throat close up. It was basic decency. It wasn’t - everyone was misunderstanding. “I’m proud of you. For getting that child out of that house and for giving up… basically your adult life for him. It’s a lot of responsibility but I know… I know you’ll give that kid some good lessons. Now it’s just a matter of becoming a good guardian, not just a good teacher, alright?”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded. 

A knock on the door made them both look over and with a soft _come in_ , the door opened and revealed Lourdes, Elías’ mother, who had her arms crossed and her eyes a bit red, as well. Elías stood, walking over to her, immediately pulling her into a deep hug.

“A kid is a lot of responsibility,” she immediately said and Elías closed his eyes, nodding, hugging her tightly. He realized he’d grown in the last year and she could now comfortable rest her head against his chest. “He’ll be a _lot_. Especially at thirteen.”

“I know,” Elías murmured. “I’ll learn. We will both learn.”

“We’ll be here, too,” she sighed, pulling back, cupping Elías’ face and shaking her head a bit. “Eli, sweeheart, you _can’t_ save everyone.”

Elías blinked hard, keeping the tears at bay, “I know, mama. I know. But I can try.”

* * *

The rest of the family seemed to calm down by dinnertime and Elías sighed with relief when Jaime came over to collect him for it, nudging him on the way downstairs.

“Are you really going to adopt some kid?”

“It’s not just _some_ kid,” Elías frowned. “He’s in need of a home, Jai.”

“Alright, I was just asking,” he shrugged. “I think it’s kind of fast. And I think you should’ve pondered it a bit more. But you do you. Somehow, your plans always turn out alright, even if they’re fucking bonkers.”

Elías relaxed a bit, giving him a soft look, “Thank you.”

“I’m not babysitting, though,” he added, serious, making Elías laugh just as they arrived to the ground floor, Mamún walking to the garden with a huge dish full of mashed potatoes, the smell of pepper and bacon making Jaime and Elías float a bit. “Mamún, is that ready?”

“Not yet,” she said, shoving the dish with rags on the handles to Jaime, who took it and began to move to the garden. “Elías, darling, won’t you go grab the pitcher of water?”

“Yes, right away,” he nodded, about to move to the kitchen when his grandmother grabbed his arm, pulling him back, giving him a wise look of hers, her brown eyes expressive.

“And don’t listen to your sister and mother,” she chided, eyebrows up. “I think you did the right thing. I don’t care how much they say that you’re young and inexperienced. So were they, when they had a kid. And a baby is worse than a teenager! I had your father at eighteen and look how he turned out!”

Elías smiled a bit, hand moving over her, patting it, “Thanks, Mamún.”

“If anyone gives you shit, call me,” she said, huffing.

“Thank you for the house, too,” Elías whispered, feeling his shoulders sink. “I… I know you probably made a few of my uncles mad about that.”

“Bah! Why would they need that house? They don’t! You’re the one taking care of it, repairing everything, going abroad yet still making sure it’s impeccable! You’re the sea child of us, I know it well! It had been _your_ house for a while. _El Rompido_ is yours. Everyone else can go suck on a lemon!”

Elías laughed a bit, his chest tight, “You’re the best.”

“I know,” she tweaked his nose, making Elías giggle a bit. “My big, strong man.”

Elías laughed louder and pulled her into a hug, grinning. He loved his grandmother so much – she had a lot of regressive and just… old people ideas. But when he’d come out of the closet, she’d been the first to validate him. And she still did, every single day.

“I’ll go help bring everything out,” he told her, stepping back as she moved to the garden, passing by Alessandro, who was cursing in Italian into his phone, passing by Elías and shoving him against the wall with a smirk, Elías sticking his tongue out. They were practically the same age except a _few months_ hat Alessandro never let him live down.

In the kitchen he found his sister and he froze for a moment as she practically inhaled the gin tonic Emilio had prepared, Paco holding little Marcos in his arms as the toddler snoozed on his shoulder.

“Oh, you’re here, good,” Paco said, moving to give him Marcos, Elías quickly taking him. “Sorry, but I’ve a business call to make. Can you put him to bed? He kept asking for you and wouldn’t let Emilio put him to sleep.”

“Yeah, of course,” Elías said, pulling Marcos back a bit, brushing away his blond hair with a gentle hand and smiling as he rubbed his eye. “Hey, buddy. You ready for bed?”

“Noooo…” he whined, gripping Elías’ hair, pouting hard. “No bed. Play.”

“Ah, I’ll play with you, let’s go to the bedroom,” he insisted, moving upstairs once more, the kid already starting to sob and cry but Elías simply cooed. “Come on, Marquitos, you’re _so_ tired, aren’t you? Spent all day at the beach with all the uncles and aunts, hmm?”

“Don’t wannaaaa…!” he whimpered, looking like a cherub as Elías walked into the bedroom Paco and Carmen had claimed, a little bed for Marquitos on the other side and Elías gently lowered him there. “I don’t _wanna_!”

“You don’t want a story, then?” Elías raised his eyebrows and Marcos went quiet, suddenly stopping his crying, watching Elías with those wide, honey eyes of his. He looked so much like Paco’s girlfriend, it was insane. “Ah, I see.”

“With the - the pretty lights?” he asked, gasping, his socked feet moving under the thin sheets already, gripping the edge.

“With the pretty lights, yes,” Elías laughed, pulling out his wand from the holster. “Tonight I’ll tell you the tale of the Princess and the Frog, would you like that?”

“I want Little Red Riding Hood,” Marcos said.

“What do we say when we ask for things?” Elías asked.

“...please?” the toddler pouted.

“Very well,” Elías laughed a bit, leaning down to kiss his little head, petting his hair with his left hand as he raised his wand with the right, pulling on the curtains with his magic so the room would fall into darkness. And within that darkness, he pulled a simple illusion of a girl in a red hood. “Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a child who always wore a red cape…”

* * *

When he finally got Marcos to sleep and went downstairs for dinner, he found his mother shrieking in the kitchen, making him _sprint_ to her, eyes wide – only to relax as he saw a _huge_ owl by the window, letter in his beak, his mother plastered to the wall.

“Ma, it’s just an owl,” Elías laughed, walking to it, giving it some hard bread after taking the letter.

“That’s not an owl, that’s a _monster_ ,” she said, wielding the plastic broom and trying to shoo the owl away, who glanced at her with disdain before flying off. “Do you _really_ need owls for mail? What about all the jobs as mail… wizards?!”

“Owls are stupid, I know, but it’s their thing,” Elías rolled his eyes before looking at the letter, surprised to realize that it was an official invitation to Sunday luncheon at the Malfoy’s, humming as he read over the lovely letter.

“What’s that? Looks fancy,” she said, walking closer and reading. “Oh! What’s this?!”

“Oh, just rich people, ma,” Elías replied, shrugging, putting the letter inside his pocket, folded. “They do that whole invitation thing, it’s nothing.”

“You’ve got rich friends now?” she blinked, then nudged him hard. “Are they cute? Do they like you? Do _you_ like them?”

“Ma!” Elías laughed, grabbing the bread basket from her, stealing a pico from inside and shaking his head. “I swear, you’re _impossible_ sometimes.”

“You’ve to buy me a penthouse first line on the beach of Cádiz!” she joked, making Elías laugh loudly. “You promised!”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Elías grinned. “First line of the beach. Got it, ma. I’ll marry one of these _extremely_ British, wizarding people.”

“Alright, nevermind,” Lourdes mumbled, shaking her head. “I’ve got enough with one British underway. I’m dreading his reaction at Christmas dinners.”

“He’ll learn, don’t worry,” Elías giggled, finally moving to the garden, where everyone was gathered, hollering as Elías brought the bread. “I’ve got the power!” he shouted.

“Don’t _yell_ ,” his father scolded before poking his side. “Give me.”

“No! You’ll eat it all!” his sister, Elías’ aunt Virginia and his godmother, reached over. “Come on, give it to me, I’ll share with everyone.”

“You’re all fiends and I don’t trust any of you,” Elías stated, handing the basket to Jaime. “Jai, on the other hand – _Jaime, no!_ ”

“What?” he asked, both hands full of bread.

“Come sit down, come on,” Blanca laughed, pulling on Elías’ hand so he’d sit next to her. “Forget the bread, we’ve got _fucking_ _fideuá_ for dinner.”

“I know, smells so good,” Elías grinned, pulling his plastic chair closer to the makeshift table and conversation soon sparked, loud and boisterous and full of laughter and Emilio throwing a pico at Jaime from the other side of the table.

Even if Elías would be new at this, even if he wasn’t fully in his right mind, even if they all had their own opinions and judgment of him… Elías at the very least knew that Harry would be safe among his family. And they would all welcome him, if it all went right. His cousins, his uncles and aunts, his parents and even his sister – they were all good people. And they were all _family_. And that was what mattered.


	53. Cartagena's Underbelly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE. And I can't wait for the next chapter, because it's going to explore so much lore and so much of Severus' life after that October of 1980 and AHHHHHHH. EXCITEMENT!!!!
> 
> Trigger warning:  
> \- Discussion/Mention of transphobia  
> \- Dicussion of fucking jellyfish injury  
> \- Mild mention of cult tactics
> 
> Songs in this Chapter:  
> \- Mírala Cara a Cara by Requiebros (A sevillana I've heard a thousand times tbh, couldn't help myself!)

The day began with an oppressive heat that had everyone unanimously deciding to spend it at the beach, the cacophonous morning making Elías be deeply grateful that today he’d spend it with Severus – better yet, when Severus arrived, the house would be mostly _empty_ , which was a damn fucking relief. He’d told Elías that he didn’t need a chimney, lucky, since the house didn’t _have one_.

Before Severus arrived, though, Elías went for a quick swim at sea with his cousins and sister, coming back to the house just a bit later next to Jaime and little Alba, who had been stung by a jellyfish. She was sobbing quietly around the icepop Elías had gotten her, carrying her on his hip as Jaime infodumped about the book he’d been reading to distract her. She’d been treated by a Red Cross attendee and she would be fine – Elías had gotten plenty stung in Cartagena and San Fernando. It had surely been a moon jellyfish.

“C-can I have s-some water?” Albita asked, her brown eyes wide.

“Of course,” Elías cooed softly at her and Jaime moved to the kitchen as Alba finished her icepop and played with Elías’ necklace.

“You got stung, too,” she said, pointing at the scar under his pec, making him laugh.

“Oh, I sure did,” he grinned, shaking his head. Kids, man.

“Does it hurt?” she asked, blinking as Elías took the sticky plastic from her hand, throwing it away, taking the simple white shirt he’d used for pajamas that was laying in the back of a chair.

“Nope. Not at all,” he sat her on the counter and Jaime gave her a glass of water as Elías pulled on the shirt, pushing her platinum blond hair back as she heavily drank. “You want to go back to the beach?”

“Nuh-huh,” she shook her head. “I wanna stay. S’too hot out.”

“Agreed,” Jaime sighed, running a hand through his sea-salt hair. “I’m gonna stay here, probably, and read. You wanna stay with me?”

“Okay!” Alba smiled. “Can I go get my toys?”

“Yep,” he helped her down from the counter and Alba rushed off, making Elías snort.

“I swear, kids are made of rubber. No matter how hard they fall, they just bounce back again,” he laughed. “Jellyfish can be _mean_.”

“Didn’t you get one stuck on you?” Jaime asked, snickering.

“I’ve had two! Two stuck on me!” Elías cried out, wiggling two fingers. “Jellyfish are evil plastic bags of the ocean and if they all died at once, I would run naked around the forest to honor whomever sick fuck up there had the guts to do it.”

Jaime threw his head back and laughed, shaking his head, making Elías giggle into the back of his hand. He’d missed this, missed being around Jaime. The guy lived in Madrid now, had a job working as a programmer in some security nonsense that challenged him daily. He was happy, had a girlfriend and an apartment in the north side of Madrid and Elías barely saw him the entire year, as opposed to his college years in Madrid, when they’d lived together.

“So your friend is coming now, right?” Jaime asked and Elías nodded. “Is he weird like you say wizards are?”

“Super weird,” Elías grinned. “He’s great. Super smart. An absolute grump like you.”

Jaime laughed a bit, “What is it with you and befriending grumpy people?”

“It’s a gift,” Elías said just as the doorbell on the outside gate rang and he made a surprised noise, looking at the clock, cursing. “Fuck. He’s early, of _course_ he’s early.”

“At least you’ve a shirt on,” Jaime shrugged, Elías rolling his eyes before moving to the front door, which was wide open as it always was in the summer and spring mornings. He saw the top of Severus’ head over the wooden, tall gates and laughed a bit.

“I hope you’re not wearing dark robes!” he called, starting to unlock the old, rusty doorgate. “Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s _boiling_ her –“

Elías opened the front of the gate, revealing Severus and what he wasn’t expecting was for the man to not _just_ be wearing jeans but also a linen black shirt, a _muggle shirt_ , wand holster strapped to his thigh in the same manner that Elías did his. His hair was pulled back as well.

“I’m well aware of the _heat_ , Elías,” the potions master scowled, arms crossed, watching him with a frown. “You’re wet.”

“I am,” Elías replied, thankful for the sunburn over his nose and cheeks because yes, his swimming trunks were wet but also – well, nevermind, it wasn’t good to focus on that. “You look…”

“Muggle?” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him.

“ _Weird_ ,” Elías laughed, hand moving over his mouth as Severus glared at him. “The good kind of weird! I promise! It’s just… _wow_ , now I know how you felt when you saw me all wizared up for the Ministry, huh?”

“I suppose,” he frowned. “…are you going to change?”

“Oh! Fuck, yes, sorry – come in!” he stepped aside, opened the door, letting Severus into the premises. It was a big house but not big enough for Elías’ family, he had to admit. Still, it was old and breezy and nice to spend this Semana Santa. “You’re in luck, you don’t have to meet my whole family yet.”

“How fortunate of me,” Severus muttered, following Elías in.

“Two of my cousins are here, though,” Elías said just as Alba came running from upstairs, clutching her favorite Barbie, whom she’d colored orange with her paints and given her a brand new, horrifying face. Elías picked her up as she came barreling to him, setting her on his hip, smiling. “This one right here is Albita! Say hello, Alba!”

“Hello!” she said, accent thick, waving at Severus as one of her wiry arms came around Elías’ neck. “My name is Alba Fernández Jurado! I am five year old and I like music!”

“ _¡Muy bien!_ ” Elías grinned, kissing her cheek, Severus’ lips twitching a bit, as if he was about to smile. “ _Este es mi amigo y compañero de trabajo, Severus Snape._ ”

“ _Que nombre más raro, ¿No?_ ” Alba blinked at the potions master, making Elías giggle a bit, nodding.

“ _Es porque es un mago._ _Como yo_ ,” he explained, smiling at her.

“Ahhhh, okaaaay…” she nodded, watching Severus for a moment before wiggling in Elías’ arms, making him put her down. “I go play Jaime!” she stated, hands on her hips, watching Severus, who nodded at her, looking perplexed.

“The… enthusiasm is familiar,” he stated, glancing at Elías. “But she has brown eyes.”

“Yep. Not all of us got the blue eyes,” Elías shrugged, gesturing at the couch. “Wait here, I won’t take long to change and we can leave.”

“You’re leaving me alone to fend off the lions?” Severus asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“What lions?” Elías laughed but it soon stopped as Severus pointed at the window, where Elías could see his mother, his grandmother and his _sister_ approaching, making his mouth go dry. Well, shit. “Alright, nevermind, you’re meeting the women of my family.”

“The lions, then,” Severus said dryly and Elías laughed a bit, nudging him before Lourdes walked in – and stopped on her tracks, blinking hard at Severus, looking up at his tall figure.

“Mamá!” Elías moved to her side, Elías and Mamún following in. “This is the friend I told you about, Severus Snape?”

“Right,” she spoke in an accented British English, offering a hand to the potions professor, who shook it with a tight nod. “Your old teacher.”

“And friend,” Elías insisted.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Severus spoke up for the first time and Lourdes gave him a small smile.

“Likewise! This is my daughter, Elena, and my mother-in-law, Emilia.”

“Nice to meet you,” Elena gave him a full, bright, fake smile of hers and Elías tried to remind himself that he had to be patient with her. Even though Severus, intuitive as he was, probably had seen through it. “Once again, I mean.”

“Elías has spoken a lot of you,” Severus hummed and Elena’s eyes snapped to her brother as Elías tried his damnest not to break Severus’ foot with his heel.

“Oh?” Elena cocked her head but Mamún was already pushing through.

“Hello, hello!” she greeted, her accent as thick as Alba’s, shaking his hand with more enthusiasm than Severus was apparently ready for, making Elías laugh into his hand, watching the unlikely pair. “You’re my boy’s friend! I like his friends!”

“This is my grandmother,” Elías told Severus, who nodded. “She doesn’t speak English but she does speak Arab, Spanish, French and Dutch, in case you know any of those.”

“French is alright,” Severus told them and Mamún nodded, smiling brightly.

“Well, I – should really go change,” Elías said, making Severus turn to him with a murderous look but Elías _had_ to go if they wanted to leave anytime soon. “Then we’re leaving for the wizarding side of the city.”

“We’ll keep him entertained,” Elena told him, arms crossing, watching Elías with an inquisitive look before turning to Severus. “You’re a potions master, right? In England? I thought I’d heard your name.”

“Yes,” Severus replied, nodding slowly as Elías moved upstairs, trying to _rush_ through changing.

He toweled whatever parts were still wet with seasalt before pulling on some bohemian, comfortably loose pants and a thin white shirt, buttoning it up to his collarbones and leaving the room without jewelry of any sort except a simple necklace. He almost forgot his wand but he threw an anti-muggle charm on his holster belt and pulled it on, walking back downstairs. He dreaded the thought of his sister alone with any friend of his. Who knew what she’d say?

To his joy, though, his sister seemed to have already moved on from Severus when he arrived, finding his mother instead, the two talking in the kitchen as Severus drank from a tall glass of water. Mamún sat on the couch, watching TV and she smiled at him and put a finger over her mouth, pointing at the kitchen, making Elías pause to listen in.

“…a bit worried, since he’s so far away, you know? And – in another country that doesn’t have the same weather, the same attitude… we don’t have much family in England. Much less in… Hogwarts,” his mother was speaking softly and Elías felt his heart stop. They’d been worried about him? Truly? Why hadn’t she said anything?

“He’s doing alright,” Severus said, making Elías nod to himself. “The children adore him. His classes are engaging and I’ve never seen someone so focused on the future of these kids, not even… the Headmaster, Dumbledore.”

Elías couldn’t see his face and he was dying to, biting on his thumbnail, trying to not flush as Severus kept speaking.

“He’s also been working on himself, I must say. On his potions skill. His dueling skills. Everything. I don’t think he’s the same person that came to Hogwarts in September. And I am certain that the people who he surrounds himself with are not the same since he arrived, of which I include myself.”

“He spoke of you, you know?”

Elías froze, hand gripping the corner of the wall, leaning in further.

“Oh, I’m quite sure he has, in his youth. I treat my students with candor and oftentimes, I forget myself and my own temperance. Elías was victim of this, I admit. He also has been helping me change my demeanor towards our students.”

“When he said you two had become friends, I was worried,” Lourdes confessed and Elías felt the need to hug his mother. She _always_ worried too much, she always… thought of the worst. “Elías forgives too easily, wants to believe the best in people.”

“It’s both a flaw and a virtue,” Severus said and Elías frowned.

“I don’t know where he gets it from,” she sighed. “Just please, he – doesn’t have much friends. He doesn’t have… the kind of social skills his sister has. He can get angry and he can get too much but – but he’s a good man.”

Elías made noise as he walked to the kitchen door, opening it fully, making Lourdes and Severus turn to him, the former with a small smile.

“Please, tell me you haven’t told him any embarrassing stories,” Elías begged his mother, moving over to kiss her temple, his mother’s hand patting his shaved jaw.

“No, no, that’s for later,” she teased, making him pout.

“Ma, noooo,” he kissed her cheek. “We’re leaving, alright? At what time should we be here?”

“Uh… around eight thirty? Or nine? Something like that,” she said, smiling at him.

“Alright, should we bring anything?” Elías asked, gesturing at Severus to follow him out of the kitchen. “Bread?”

“Bread, yes,” she nodded. “Have fun!”

“Thanks! We will! _Hasta luego, Mamún_ ,” he waved at his grandmother and Severus waved as well, her smile brightening up the room.

The two wizards walked out of the house, out the gates and closed it behind them, making Elías let out a sigh, rubbing his still slightly salty face, turning to Severus.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he laughed a bit, rubbing the side of his neck.

“You and your mother,” Severus said quietly, making Elías’ smile drop a bit, watching Severus with a slight sense of dread. “You two are very alike.”

“Is that so?” Elías muttered.

“Mhmm,” he nodded, following Elías as the Spaniard started to walk. “You two care. To a fault.”

“Pa says the same thing,” Elías whispered. “That I’m more similar to my mother than I think.”

“You don’t like that,” Severus guessed and Elías winced.

“I mean – I love my ma, yeah?” he told his friend, frowning, hands moving to the pockets of his pants. “But we never were… as close as we are now. It took a long time for me to look at her and say _I love you_ without feeling like I was betraying myself.”

Severus glanced at him, mirroring Elías’ frown, exhaling a bit, “I know how that feels.”

“Hmm,” Elías nodded, not knowing what to say to that, a bit thoughtful. “My mother wasn’t… the nicest when I came out, you know?”

“I’d guessed,” Severus raised his eyebrows as Elías turned to him, surprised. “The string of pearls and the perfect manicure? British English when all of you imitate American accents?”

“Right,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “You’re – yeah, basically.”

“She’s not a Fernández,” Severus put and Elías nodded.

“Yep. It’s – she comes from a very humble background,” Elías explained. “From a very conservative family with a lot of siblings. She was the youngest of the bunch, she was chubby and not too popular, bit of a nerd, really. She was a _saint_ among her siblings – all my aunts and uncles say so.”

“You don’t talk often about the Oviedo side,” Severus pointed out.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen them in… five? Six years or so,” Elías shrugged.

“Do they… not accept you?” the other Slytherin asked slowly.

“Oh, no,” Elías shook his head, voice a bit bitter. “They don’t know.”

Severus nearly tripped, eyes wide, turning to Elías with a splutter, “ _What_? What do you _mean_ they don’t _know_?”

“They don’t know,” Elías raised his eyebrows. “Haven’t had the chance. They all live in Sevilla and Huelva but I never get the chance. A trip is suddenly cancelled, Christmas is just better in Madrid, summers are for spending them with grandma and all, y’know.”

Severus seemed to suddenly understand, his face a mask of annoyance. “She’s stopping you from seeing them. From telling them.”

“It’s never the right time,” Elías laughed a bit. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. It’s not like I miss all my cousins and uncles and aunts. At all. Like I missed two weddings due to _circumstances_. There’s always an excuse, you know.”

“That’s unfair of your mother. They’re _your_ family, too,” Severus told Elías, who shrugged.

“Well, she wins this one. I’m _also_ afraid of what they’ll say,” Elías ran a hand through the waves in his hair, making a face. “Why are we talking about this? This is bullshit, it sucks, it’s a beautiful day outside and we’re about to go to a very exciting place, Sev! Tell me about your vacation so far! What have you been doing?”

He turned to Severus, who glanced back at Elías with a little sigh, “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Elías frowned.

“Nothing,” Severus repeated. “I’ve been reading. Brewing. Going to eat lunch at the Malfoy Manor with everyone else.”

“Ah, but that’s not _nothing_ ,” Elías grinned, nudging him.

“I suppose,” he murmured and Elías realized just how _tense_ he looked, jaw locked and posture unnatural. He seemed awkward and at first Elías thought it’d been the clothes but soon he realized what the real problem was.

Gently, his hand moved to grip Severus’ right arm, pulling on it, the potioneer looking at Elías questioningly before following him into the city, instead of going around it, where the blue horizon of the sea could be seen. Ducking into a narrow alley, now surrounded by two walls and some shadow, Elías smiled at Severus.

“Sorry, didn’t realize we were on open field until now,” he spoke, hand brushing Severus’ hand before dropping at his side. “Better?”

“…yes, actually,” Severus murmured, his muscles unclenching, looking much more relaxed, fists unclenching. “Thank you.”

“Nah, just – sorry I didn’t notice at first,” Elías waved it off, starting to walk once more. “It’ll take a bit more but we can go through the city. It’s no trouble, really. I’ve a good sense of direction, unlike my other cousins,” he laughed.

“Oh, you should meet Avery,” Severus scowled, back to his normal self, making Elías grin. Who knew the sight of Severus’ disgust would make him feel at ease? “He has the most _atrocious_ sense of direction. He’d get lost in an open field.”

“Avery is part of your main group, right?” Elías asked, smiling at him as they entered a major street, filled with people. Muggles, of course, and Severus stuck a bit closer to Elías.

“Yes. You’ll meet him this Sunday, I suppose,” he hummed. “Along with Gibbon, the Parkinsons, Sienna and her husband…”

“Wow, everyone sure is coming, huh?” Elías blinked, a bit nervous.

“You’re nervous,” Severus pointed out, cocking an eyebrow. “Of what?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the _potential disaster_ that could be this Sunday?” Elías breathed, hands on his face, eye wide. “I could fuck it up so bad. Oh Gods, what if one of your friends hates me?”

“I hardly think it matters, in the grand scheme of things,” Severus said dryly.

“It does to me!” Elías replied, a bit frantically. “I want them to _like_ me!”

“If you try to get everyone to like you, no one will like you,” the man rolled his eyes, dodging a few teens as they ran past with their skateboards. “I thought that was common knowledge, Elías.”

“I _knooow_ ,” Elías groaned. “But I just – I like them, Sev. And I have this constant fear that because I’m a muggleborn, I’m just… they’re not going to be as uh, welcoming, you know?”  
“Your fear is not unfounded,” Severus admitted, making Elías breathe out a whine. “But I must say, we’ve all come a long way since we were younger, more gullible, more…”

“Bigoted?” Elías asked and Severus grunted.

“Yes. Quite so. We’ve all grown… from that era. We might have habits and some… unconscious purism still. I _will_ admit that. But they will not turn you away because of your heritage, Elías. In fact,” he cleared his throat a bit. “I think you’ll get along with Avery.”

“Oh?” Elías smiled a bit. “Why is that?”

“A hunch,” he smirked a bit and Elías laughed.

“Alright. I trust your gut,” he told Severus, grinning. “Also, I forgot to ask but how did you get here?”

“Portkey,” Severus replied. “The line was shorter than expected, that’s why I got here early.”

“Oh, makes sense. I’ve never traveled by portkey,” Elías confessed.

“Not pleasant,” Severus muttered, making a face. “I much prefer the floo network.”

“It’s the easiest. Though I do love going by train or car,” Elías hummed, making Severus frown deeply.

“Those _infernal_ machines?” he asked, turning to Elías. “Of course you’d like those.”

“They’re great. Have you never been inside one?” Elías snorted.

“No. And I’d like to keep it that way,” he said firmly as Elías turned into a narrow alleyway, much cooler and shaded than the main street, the two wizards having to stick a bit closer to walk side by side.

“I’m guessing you’re not a fan of flying either, huh?” Elías snickered.

“I _hate_ brooms,” Severus gritted his teeth. “Infernal devices.”

“What do you use for short distances, then?” Elías laughed. “Because if not brooms, if not _cars_ , what do you even do? Like, in wizarding cities or towns?”

“Don’t be daft, we use horses,” Severus rolled his eyes and Elías nearly blue-screened at that, immediately trying to imagine Severus on a _horse_ , a loud laugh escaping from his mouth before he covered it with his hands. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing!” Elías snickered, shaking his head. “Just… adding to the princely demeanor, huh, Half-Blood Prince?”

Severus rolled his eyes, rubbing his temple, “Horses have been used for centuries, even muggles use them.”

“I’ve never even touched a horse in my life,” Elías laughed, making Severus frown deeply at him.

“What? None?” he asked, watching the Spaniard shake his head with a smile. “Have you at _least_ seen one?”

“Of course! I’m from Cádiz! We use horses for dancing a lot!” he said, making Severus blink. “Flamenco can include horses, it’s beautiful.”

“I did not know,” Severus confessed and Elías shrugged, stopping in front of a brick wall, looking for the one that activated the entrance, pulling out his wand. “The Malfoys have quite a lot of them. If you’re up for it this Sunday… I could show you the stables.”

“Oh, that’d be amazing,” Elías grinned over his shoulder at Severus. “Do all wizards learn to ride a horse?”

“Those that live in wizarding towns, yes,” Severus nodded. “Some purebloods don’t know how to. Others do. It depends on region.”

“So do you?” Elías asked, turning to Severus, watching him with a little smirk.

“What?” Severus cocked an eyebrow. “Know how to ride a horse?”

“Yep,” Elías tapped the right brick three times with an interval of two seconds each, a passage opening to reveal very old stairs that led down to double doors.

“I do,” Severus admitted and saw Elías’ eyes widen at the stairway. “You’ve truly never been here?”

“No!” Elías said, excited, clutching his wand close to his chest with sparkling blue eyes. “Oh, I’m so excited! I can’t wait to see it!”

“I haven’t been here, either,” Severus told him, looking down at the long stairs before taking a few steps in and, surprisingly, offering a hand to Elías, the Spaniard looking at his palm blankly. “It’s steep,” he explained, looking away from Elías but the blonde smiled and took his hand, letting Severus help him down.

Once the two were inside, the bricks moved, closing the entrance, making Elías’ eyes widen with slight fear as darkness encased them. Before he could freak out, though, Elías heard Severus whisper _lumos_ into the small space, bathing them both in a gentle, warm light. Elías let out a breath of relief and realized that his hand was clutching Severus’ tightly, quickly pulling away his fingers, swallowing.

“…darkness?” Severus asked, seemingly surprised.

“Sudden darkness,” Elías replied in a whispered, hand running through his hair. “Just… unexpected darkness. I – don’t enjoy it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Severus murmured and Elías gave him a small smile.

“Thank you,” Elías breathed, looking over to the double doors before grasping the bit knocker, making it clang, the doors parting before they both to reveal El Mercado de Arena, the biggest wizarding market in Eastern Spain, Elías’ eyes widening as witches and wizard passed in front of him and Severus, the smells of herbs and other potion ingredients almost overwhelming. A thousand shops stood in the three cavea, in this underground haven and Elías’ hands clasped onto Severus’ sleeve. “Oh my Gods!”

“It’s just as I read,” Severus hummed.

“Sev, Sev, _Sev_ , it’s an _amphitheater!_ ” Elías gasped, grasping Severus’ hand before pulling him through the throngs of people, past the _porta triumphalis_ , laughing as he moved to the arena, dirt under his shoes, eyes wide at the rows and rows of shops and taverns and homes. “It’s so big, it’s so _big!_ ” he laughed, turning to Severus, who was blinking with surprise at Elías. “There’s just an _underground city under Cartagena!_ ”

“I thought we’d already established this,” Severus said, amused, his fingers twitching inside Elías’ grip.

“No, no, you don’t understand! This is my childhood dream!” Elías gushed, standing in the orchestra and seeing horses, the _horses Severus had spoken about_ and all those pointy hats and the Spanish wizarding robes – it was a dream. “Gods, I – when I was little, I used to dream of underground wizarding cities, inside caves,” he told Severus, grinning. “Had _literal dreams_ about them! This sort of thing… I never thought it’d be of this magnitude.”

“This must be three times bigger than any other wizarding underground I’ve ever been to,” Severus muttered, looking around. “It… definitely is impressive, I must say. I didn’t think it’d be this big.”

“Oh, I’m so glad we came here,” Elías ran his hand through his hair, turning to grin widely at Severus. “I’m _so_ very glad you mentioned this. And I’m very grateful that you agreed to come, Sev. _Thank_ you.”

Severus watched Elías back, his dark eyes roaming Elías’ wide blues before his fingers twitched again against Elías’, then squeezed them, making Elías looking down at their hands, realizing just how touchy-feely he’d been with Severus. He flushed a bit, about to let go but Severus suddenly pulled him forward, to his chest, making Elías’ breath hitch. A carriage passed right behind him and Severus’ other hand gripped his shoulder.

“We should get out of the arena,” he told Elías, voice low on his ear, making the Spaniard’s heartbeat ricochet inside his ribcage. “Let’s go find Estefanía’s Library first.”

“Right,” Elías murmured against his chest, gripping Severus’ hand tight, realizing just now how… intimate this whole trip was. Meeting his family, going to an underground city, staying for dinner with said family, being so close to each other – Gods, Elías _wished_. But Severus was very probably straight, very much in love with a dead woman, a man that would never go for Elías (even if he did go for men) and someone who still needed to grow and settle into this new, more open lifestyle before he could even think about dating.

It was just a bad idea overall and Elías acknowledged it and knew it but it didn’t keep him from letting his mind drift to what would happen if he really did let loose around Severus.

The two walked out of the arena, so busy with carriages and flying boxes, owls and doves swinging about. Elías watched it all with excited eyes, like the first time he’d seen a magical alley, his hand now out of Severus’ but his shoulder bumping into his arm from time to time.

“If I remember correctly,” Severus began but Elías snorted.

“Which you do,” he teased, making Severus smirk.

“Which I _always_ do, then the shop should be at the _high north_ ,” he looked up at the caveas and Elías blinked. “So we must go –“

“At the summa cavea. Alright,” Elías sighed. “That’s a high place alright. Let’s go.”

“This way,” Severus directed, moving alongside the outside of the amphitheater, small shops clustered in familiar ways. It looked like any Spanish market to Elías, the wizard looking around with grins. Little shops from little potioneers claiming this or other, shouting out their panaceas, the smells a bit overwhelming as the two professors passed by a particularly vibrant table.

“These are cheaper positions,” Severus explained to Elías, who looked up at his colleague with curious eyes. “Each shop is never in the same place twice because of it. The vendors switch up, at least in the ground floor. The arena is reserved for the bigger stocks.”

“Do you know much about El Mercado de Arena?” Elías asked curiously, arm looping around Severus’, looking over at the tall Roman columns of the structure. Someone had dug around the outside, it seemed, and let the entrance lead to this wide passage that allowed all these tables and blankets filled with different goodies. The cacophony within was astounding but Elías enjoyed it, smiling a bit, letting Severus guide him.

“I’ve read about it plenty,” Severus replied. “I just… didn’t expect the magnitude.”

“Go on, then, please?” Elías grinned at him, Severus glancing down at the Spaniard. “Do your thing. Infodump. I want to know about this place.”

“Very well,” Severus chuckled, shaking his head. “You know well that Spain has most of the oldest wizarding undergrounds.”

“I do know that very well,” Elías nodded.

“El Mercado de Arena is no exception,” he told him, his accent… pretty good. Elías was mildly impressed. “The only reason it’s underground is because of constant flooding, truly. The city was below sea level, long ago, so they were forced to keep this amphitheater underground. After the Statute of Secrecy, it just became much more populated. They reconstructed and reinforced a lot of it to keep it sturdy and people _do_ live here, even though it’s mainly a marketplace.”

“The biggest in Europe,” Elías boasted, making Severus roll his eyes fondly.

“The biggest in Europe, yes,” he moved aside as a horse galloped by, Elías holding tight onto his arm so he wouldn’t fall over a table filled with enchanted quills. “It’s also the birthplace of a lot of important potioneers. Oftentimes, apprentices will be taken by Alvarado,” he pointed over through a wide arc, towards the top of the amphitheater, where a big, bright shop stood, making Elías’ spine tingle with excitement. “That’s his workshop.”

“Wow,” Elías grinned. “You said – you mentioned you almost did your apprenticeship here?”

“Yes,” Severus nodded, finally getting to the stairs, starting to climb, Elías now able to let go of his arm without fear that they’d get separated. “I didn’t, though. I ended up studying in Slovakia – well, Czechoslovakia back then. Under Věra Jelínková.”

“Oh. Oh! Wasn’t she the one who introduced current collapsible cauldrons?” Elías asked, fascinated.

“And also made the first foolproof veritaserum,” Severus added, making Elías grin. “She is a wonderful, wise, fascinating woman who taught me a lot. More than just potions,” he hummed.

“You admire her a lot,” Elías pointed out, still climbing the infernal stairs. They had a long way to go but the higher they climbed, the more beautiful El Mercado de Arena looked. Elías was wondering how it’d look without the daylight charm on the top of the whole cave.

“I do,” Severus had a strange look in his face, one Elías couldn’t really decipher, “When you’re a hundred and ten years old, I suppose all other problems seem a bit petty to you. She helped me understand that there’s always a bigger picture. That not always do you need to… endlessly pursue something just because you’ve tried for a long time.”

“Sounds wise indeed,” Elías said softly and Severus glanced at him, nodding curtly. “What type of potioneer was she?”

“Specialized in fungi growth, actually,” the potions master said. “Quite an adept herbologist. She could make anything grow and she taught me how important herbology is in the field of potions.”

“You do have a beautiful garden in Spinner’s End,” Elías said and Severus blinked.

“You haven’t stepped a foot there,” he said dryly.

“But I’ve looked through the window. I bet if I _did_ step out there, I’d find it even more beautiful,” Elías smiled and Severus looked away, adjusting the cuff of his left sleeve.

“Perhaps,” he muttered as the two reached the media cavea. “I will say, I _was_ tempted to go with Alvarado. He’s… quite a genius, truly. And rumor is his son is headed that way as well.”

“We can take a look later, if you want?” Elías suggested, panting a bit from the stairs while Severus looked unbothered. There was music now playing, the media cavea apparently ridden with musicians. Elías could hear the guitar, the castañuelas, the wooden boxes as percussion from here.

“There’s no need to –“

“That’s why I said _if you want_ ,” Elías laughed, making Severus huff. “What? Alright, _alright_ , Sev, let it out. There’s a reason why you didn’t go with Alvarado and there’s a reason why you don’t want to go to his workshop. Spill.”

Severus growled a bit, stopping, turning fully to Elías with irritation, “He refuses to work with Deatheaters. There. Are you happy?”

Elías paused, frowning, “Oh.”

“He probably doesn’t want me in his shop, I’ll get kicked out, but if you want to go, you’re welcome to,” he sighed, moving on but Elías followed close after.

“Hey, it’s been years. I’m sure if we explain –“

“I’d very much rather not _explain_ ,” Severus hissed.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Elías sighed. “I thought we’d at least try.”

“I just want some exclusive things of his shop, is all,” Severus waved it off, making Elías frown a bit deeper. “They’re not important.”

“If you say so…” Elías sighed, glancing one last time at Alvarado’s workshop before following Severus up to the summa cavea. “Gods, I hope we find something useful in this stupid fucking library.”

“If you ever need to run, you’re doomed,” Severus pointed out, looking at the way Elías huffed and puffed. “You’ve strength but no stamina. You should work on that.”

“Yes, _dad_ ,” Elías rolled his eyes and Severus gave him a glare. “Not like I have any time to exercise. I’ll be honest, though, the Astronomy Tower has helped me a lot with this issue.”

“Then for your sake, keep the room next year,” Severus snorted.

“You’re pretty judgy today, huh?” Elías laughed, nudging Severus a bit.

“…sorry,” Severus said, surprising Elías, the man stopping on the stairs. Elías did as well, a few steps up so he didn’t have to crane his neck to look at Severus in the eye. He found the potioneer uncomfortable looking away, rubbing his jaw. “I’ve – I’m not used… to doing this.”

“Doing what?” Elías asked, confused, moving one step closer, glad that these stairs were practically deserted.

“Having… friends outside of – of my… inner circle,” Severus sighed, making Elías blink slowly. “I haven’t had to meet so many new people in a while and I must confess I’m a bit on edge. What you said before, about being worried that my friends would like you…”

Severus trailed off for a moment, trying to work through his wording and Elías didn’t pressure him, waiting for the confession.

“I never wanted – I’ve never had the need for anyone to _like me_ ,” Severus told Elías, glaring at the Roman columns beside them, still avoiding Elías’ blues. “And I hate, I _loathe_ that I _need_ your family… to like me.”

Elías’ eyebrows shot up, stunned, watching his colleague’s hands shake slightly.

“Sev…” Elías murmured, breathless.

“Your sister is a judgmental, shallow woman who I can tell disregards you as a naïve little boy whenever you so much as take a breath,” Severus finally turned to look at Elías, still glaring but not at _him_ specifically. That Elías knew. “Yet I still wanted her to look at me and think me worthy of being _your friend_. Which is ridiculous, Elías, because in her eyes, nobody is worthy of you, is it?”

“You’ve read her pretty well,” Elías swallowed, a bit choked.

“Your mother is _just_ like you as well, your father is right. She’s so concerned with everyone’s wellbeing that she often forgets her own, does she now?” he read, making Elías want to shrink. “She’s overly emotion, overly invested in things that don’t involve her. She’s charitable and spiritual but she often feels like she doesn’t do enough.”

“You’re a legillimens alright,” the Spaniard looked away but Severus gripped his chin, turning his face back to his.

“I can see your flaws,” he told Elías, those dark eyes boring right through him. “I can see every single mistake you’ve made and can make. Yet every time I see you steer into them, I feel nothing but _fondness_ and you have _no idea_ how much it irritates me so.”

“It’s called friendship, Severus,” Elías muttered, watching his eyes back. “It’s called _healthy_ because you’re aware of those flaws. You know, the way I’m aware of yours. And call you out on them. And the way you’re aware of mine and call me out on them, instead of keeping it to yourself the way you probably do with Lucius, Narcissa – though probably not with Corban.”

“We’ve begun this rocky friendship since January, how on _Earth_ did you… manage to make me _trust you_?” Severus asked, looking almost disgusted at himself but Elías let out a sudden laugh, his hands moving to cup Severus’ face, surprising the man. Elías just grinned.

“Because I’m _earnest_ , you stupid little _shit_ ,” he said, beaming at him. “Because I do care about you. I’ve seen your ability to change and I want to keep seeing you grow, alright? You want to teach me potions and dueling? I want to teach you empathy and some clarity from purist ideals. You help me, I help you. Easy.”

“It’s never easy,” Severus pursed his lips, looking over Elías’ face.

“It _can_ be, if you let it,” Elías patted his cheek and realized he was on his tiptoes, letting his heels touch the stone again and slipping his hands away from Severus’ face. “You want my family to like you because they’re muggles and it can showcase your growth. And teach you something important – again, if you let them.”

“They know me as that professor you hated, though,” Severus said dryly.

“Years ago,” Elías pointed out, climbing up to the summa cavea. “Opinions can change. Prove them wrong.”

“How?” Severus asked, huffing.

At that, Elías turned around, grinning widely, hands moving to Severus’ forehead to flick it in the same way Sev always did it to him, surprising the other Slytherin.

“By having _fun,_ for once. By letting _go_ for once," he said kindly, pulling him out of the stairs and into the busy, singing streets of the middle row, laughing when the music became almost deafening, Spanish singing surrounding them both and Elías dared to spin around, hand still on Severus', knowing he didn't dance but hoping he would.

"I don't dance," Severus breathed.

"Well, _I do_ ," he replied, the sevillana that could be heard familiar, clapping his hands along with the rhythm and stomping a foot. 

To his surprise, although Severus did not follow, he didn't look annoyed, either, merely sighing fondly and walking into the media cavea, forgoing their original thought of going immediately to Estefanías's Library. Plans tossed aside, Elías pulled on Severus' hand and decided to explore El Mercado de Arena _his_ way. Because if anything, Severus deserved this - a chaotic, unbothered, unbridled way of looking at the wizarding society he loved.


	54. Book Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo. Errr - hi. I'm a bit late. I'll be honest, I've been having a bad time with my mental health and I didn't even think that this chapter would be out today but hey! Look at that! It's out! In retrospect, this chapter was really hard to do and maaaybe it triggered me a bit. But it's also important for me to write this down and talk about it, about how I feel in regards to sexual abuse and what happens after that, on your way to recovery. So! Here's the chapter. Sorry for the lateness.
> 
> The Good Neighbor is a book that doesn't exist but *raises cup* cheers to all the gay monsterfuckers in my readers that wish it was.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Discussion of werewolf and vampirism curse/disease  
> \- Discussion of abuse, bullying and cult tactics  
> \- Discussion of sexual abuse  
> \- Discussion of grooming/paedophilia (Lolita)

“That’s ridicul –“

“No, it’s _not_ ,” Elías defended, squawking.

“Pardon me for not understanding the intricacies of Spanish wizarding fashion but –“

“You’re absolutely not pardoned,” Elías told him, hands on his hips, the feather of his cavalier hat. “I don’t complain about your pointy hats, now, do I?”

“You absolutely do,” Severus rolled his eyes, flicking the wide brim of Elías’ brand new hat and almost getting a feather to the face, sighing. “Did you truly have to buy it?”

“I stand firm in my belief that these hats and the shoulder capes should’ve _never_ gone out of fashion,” Elías told Severus, who gave a little snort.

“Because that would’ve gone so well for muggles, huh?” he cocked an eyebrow. “You do know –“

“Yes, yes, that these hats hid faces and the capes concealed weapons, right, but I am _so glad_ that they’re still in fashion in the wizarding world,” Elías told him.

“You don’t even _wear_ wizarding fashion.”

“Nor muggle.”

“I –“ Severus sighed. “You’re right.”

“So I can mix both. It’s decided!” Elías stated, giggling a bit at the fond exasperation in Severus’ face.

They’re gone around the media cavea for a while now, looking around the luthiers that displayed their various instruments, along with some enchanted ones. Elías had bought an instrument a bit impulsively, not even thinking much about whom he wanted to give it to but knowing that at some point, he probably would be able to give it. Also, the hat and cape but because he wanted to keep it for a nicer event. Maybe during the TriWizard Tournament.

Severus was enjoying himself, though, and Elías could tell because he hadn’t frown at _all_ since they’d moved to the media cavea. He’d huffed and sighed and rolled his eyes but Elías knew him well by now and he could say that Severus had heeded his advice.

“Should we move to the summa cavea?” Elías asked him as they found themselves on the same stairs where they’d had their little talk a few hours ago.

“Yes,” Severus hummed, starting to climb up, looking a bit more serious all of a sudden. “Have you had any Sight while here in Cartagena?”

“Hmm?” Elías looked at him, surprised. “Er… yeah. Only fragments of one, though.”

“Could I ask what it is?” he turned to the Spaniard, who gave a little frown.

“Just… I see it a bit like a shattered mirror, to be honest,” Elías explained, walking up the stone steps next to Severus. “I don’t think it was important. I saw the Malfoy Manor but it was… like a bit drab? So I’m thinking it’s in the winter, this Sight.”

“I see,” Severus muttered, thoughtful. “We need to narrow down your abilities. Be able to – say exactly what you can do and what you _can’t_ do.”

“But Remus was right,” Elías spoke up, frowning. “If seers never remember their prophecies, then how do I know I haven’t given a prophecy?”

“That’s the one thing I truly don’t know,” Severus sighed. “We just have to look for more information. The Hogwarts Library is limited at best, censored by Dumbledore at worst. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d pulled the useful tomes out of your reach.”

“Me neither,” Elías rubbed the side of his neck, sighing. “Question is, are we going to find answers within books about time magic or books about divination magic?”

“Perhaps both,” Severus dodged a pigeon as it flew down the stairs rapidly, message attached to its foot. “I think it best to focus on seers for now.”

“And get some time magic books, just in case,” Elías nodded, pursing his lips. “…do you really think I’m not a seer?”

“You’re not a _normal_ seer,” Severus countered and Elías made a noise of frustration.

“Fuck me, honestly,” he grunted. “Pisses me off so much – Dumbledore probably has some answers but he would never give them to me.”

“Then we investigate,” Severus replied, hand reaching to knock on Elías’ temple with gentle knuckles, making the Astronomy Professor look over at him. “Don’t get frustrated so early into this. This will take time and patience. Maybe it’s a good moment to exercise it, hmm?”

“You weave lessons into everything we do, huh?” Elías snorted a bit, smiling at him.

“You could learn a few,” Severus countered and Elías finally laughed.

“Alright, alright, got me there,” he chuckled. “You’re right, though – this _will_ probably take a long time. I can’t get stressed already, we’ve only just begun,” he ran a hand through his loose hair, catching up to Severus, climbing the stairs next to him. “Don’t you have any books on time magic on your personal library?”

“I never was too interested in it,” Severus replied, making Elías pull a face of disappointment. “As I said, the topic I’m invested in is the corruptive properties of dark magic in regards to the soul.”

“Right, right,” Elías nodded, then paused for a moment. “That’s actually a _fascinating_ topic, I don’t suppose we could talk about it during lunch?”

“Depends on where we eat lunch,” Severus muttered, sighing. “We could get kicked out of the market if someone thought we were…”

“…dark wizards?” Elías snorted a bit, shaking his head. “Right, right. I forget sometimes –“

“You really shouldn’t forget,” Severus told him, frowning. “You could get blacklisted, Elías.”

“For talking about dark magic?” Elías’ eyebrows shot up.

“Yes,” Severus turned fully to him and pulled a bit on Elías’ ear, the Spaniard whining until Severus finally let go. “At the very least in England, Elías. So be careful.”

“Fine,” he pouted, rubbing the tender spot where Severus had pulled. “Honestly, that’s a bit absurd.”

“It is,” Severus admitted, going back to climbing up the stairs. “But you learn to discuss these matters in private.”

“Stupid,” Elías remarked and Severus sighed. “In any case, we could eat outside in some muggle place? And then come back here to check a few more shops out, if you’d like.”

“That’d be the safest bet,” Severus nodded.

“Good! Then that’s settled – let’s go first to the library, though, that’s bound to be at least a little lucrative,” Elías smiled a bit. “I’m excited about it, to be honest? I’ve never been able to see a non-censored library.”

“This is more than just… not censored,” the potioneer told him, finally reaching the summa cavea, Elías panting a bit but quickly becoming breathless as he saw the first shop – the absolute blast from the past that it was. White walls, arched doorway, the wood and the chipped painting. Elías was immediately drawn to it and he looked up at the sign, startled to realize that it read _El Taller de Alvarado._ “If you wish to go in, you may.”

“Nah, it’s alright,” Elías dismissed, glancing at the beautiful moss roses that grew on the windowsills. “Let’s keep going. Where do you think it is?”

“Northern side of the amphitheater,” Severus gestured at the other side and Elías nodded, at the very least relieved that there were no more stairs to climb.

They were closer to the rock ceiling now, though, and Elías watched the grooves in it, the light pressed to it, so blinding, making him look away. It seemed like a mini sun of sorts and he wondered whether it worked like the sun outside – did they have overcast days, nights? Elías had seen various little inns around and some houses as well, on the lower side.

In the summa cavea, though, Elías could see the older shops, the more luxurious ones as well – but he also saw products not made cheaply but sold for so. The most predominant type was potions; ingredients, mostly. Specialized shops. Fungi, herbs, essences, claws, eyes, powders of all sorts – there was a spice shop and Elías grinned at the Moroccan witch sitting down with a book of poetry in her hands. Elías didn’t know Arab but he was familiar with it, managing to barely read the title. The smell of her mountains of spices was addicting.

The air was a bit damper at the top, too, and definitely warmer. Elías glanced over at Severus, who seemed fine in his jeans and shirt but the Spaniard wondered if he hadn’t taken a short-sleeved shirt because of his mark. How much did he have to think about that stupid mark? Daily? Hourly? Elías had never seen Severus without long sleeves and he was taken back to the few times he’d spoken about it – about what it did, how it felt.

It seemed _unfair_ to Elías – that a mistake in your youth could cost your integrity for the rest of your long wizarding life. How many of these people had taken the Dark Mark when they’d been eighteen? Seventeen? _Sixteen_? Elías frowned a bit, wishing he could erase it from everyone but it seemed like it was impossible – after all, Severus still had it on him.

“You’re staring,” Severus spoke up, breaking Elías out of his thoughts and the Spaniard quickly looked away, a bit embarrassed. “Still not used to the clothes?”

“The color, more like,” Elías replied, humming a bit, trying to seem casual.

“Narcissa tells me I look dastardly in white,” Severus said and Elías laughed a bit, snickering into his hand, glancing over at the potions professor, who looked irritated.

“I think it looks nice on you,” Elías told him, smiling a bit. “Black suits you best, though.”

“I would’ve thought someone as…” Severus’ eyes ran over his pants and he seemed to take in the vivacious pattern for a moment. “… _colorful_ as you wouldn’t think so.”

“Everyone has a style,” Elías shrugged. “I don’t always have to be like, wearing prints and stamped stuff, y’know?” he looked at Severus, amused. “I _love_ black. Almost every wizarding robe I own is black. It’s an elegant color that suits anyone.”

“I don’t think I could picture you all in black,” Severus told him, frowning and Elías’ eyebrows shot up, looking over at him.

“Are you kidding? Really?” Elías looked amused at his colleague. “Then I really must be doing something wrong, if you haven’t seen me yet. I suppose I just didn’t get the chance to dress up?”

“You dress up… in black,” the potioneer seemed confused. “I thought –“

“Well, you thought wrong,” Elías laughed, hipchecking him, making Severus blink. He was always so baffled by the gesture. “Black and gold is my go-to.”

“Gold?” at that, Severus made an obviously displeased face, making Elías laugh. “Why on _Earth_ would you subject yourself to that infernal metal?”

“It looks better on me than silver,” Elías giggled at his frown. “Listen, you don’t have to like it, _I_ do. Not everything has to do with Hogwarts Houses, you know?”

“Everyone makes the association here,” Severus told him. “We grew up with it, after all.”

“I know,” Elías murmured, shrugging. “I like the Slytherin motif, I’ll be honest. Snakes, green and silver, it’s nice, you know? But gold is just… _shinier_.”

“So you’re saying you’re a corvid,” Severus said dryly and Elías laughed.

“Maybe!” he grinned, turning to him. “What does that make _you_?”

“A bat,” Severus retorted, making Elías snort. “I know what the students call me behind my back, Elías, I am not _daft_.”

“Bats are great, though,” Elías smiled. “Adorable little furry babies.”

“Of course you like them,” Severus rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

“Have you ever seen Honduran white bats?” Elías asked him, eyes wide. “They’re _so cute_! I want to pick them all up and cry!”

“I know Honduran white bats,” Severus grunted and Elías watched him, waiting. “They’re… like cotton balls.”

“Yes!” Elías leaned into him, laughing, managing to make Severus’ lips twitch into a small, private little smile, making something warm spread on Elías’ chest. “What’s your favorite animal?”

“My what?” Severus’ smile dropped and he turned to Elías with a frown, at least not shaking Elías off his right arm.

“Favorite animal,” Elías repeated, patient.

“…why do you wish to know?” he looked baffled and Elías chuckled, shaking his head.

“Cause I want to know you more, you _fool_ ,” he teased, eyebrows raising as Severus watched him through inquisitive eyes. He looked a bit lost, then, blinking at Elías.

“I… don’t know,” he confessed.

“Well, do you have any that you’re particularly fond of? Not like, favorite but maybe one that you think is nice and elegant? Maybe you’ve an admiration for it?”

Severus paused, eyes moving back to watch ahead and he seemed to rake his memory before he found the answer, humming as he said, “I reached the end of my apprenticeship when I was twenty four years old,” he began, Elías’ hands curling around his elbow as the crowd became a bit thicker. “And I received a letter during the summer from Silong Pa, who offered me a full year’s worth of apprenticeship with him in Myanmar – he’d heard of my advances regarding dragon bone marrow and wanted to give me a chance to study it further, as long as his name also appeared within the paper I’d present to the European Potioneer Association.”

“And you agreed,” Elías murmured, fascinated.

“I agreed,” Severus nodded, dodging a multitude on their way to the other side of the summa cavea. “I told Dumbledore that I’d take a year off teaching, packed my bags and left for a remote village in the northwest of the country. It was cold and bitter and _miserable_ when I arrived,” he scowled.

“Wait, you went to Tibet?” Elías’ eyes sparkled. “You went to study the Bangladesh dragons of the north of Burma?!”

“For the whole of September,” Severus nodded, looking over at Elías’ excited face. “I admit, I learned a lot about simpler living. The Statute of Secrecy is much more… lax in that region. Wizards and witches, muggles… they’re different, there. I must confess that it instilled a change in my biased thinking of them.”

“Did a Myanmar monk teach you the meaning of life?” Elías teased but Severus sighed.

“Silong Pa sure tried,” the potioneer mumbled and Elías blinked. “I was… much more stubborn in my youth.”

“Even moreso?” Elías grinned and Severus pulled on his ear, making Elías laugh, slapping his hand away. “Anyway – Myanmar. You spent a year in Myanmar.”

“We went to the rainforest in the winter,” he explained, moving forward. “Silong… he enjoyed it, knew where to go, how to find North always. Me, not so much. It was in one of these instances where I got lost that I… I saw it. Quite close to me,” he admitted”

“What did you see? Don’t _leave_ me waiting!” Elías laughed, realizing now that Severus also had an itch for the dramatics. He should’ve known – the man wore the most dramatic sleeves, after all.

“A panther,” he replied, turning to Elías. “A black panther. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an animal so beautiful in my life.”

“How the _fuck_ are you alive?” Elías’ eyes widened.

“It was up on the trees,” Severus hummed, shrugging. “Bleeding from its hind leg. I think it was dying. I spent a moment watching it before Silong found me and quickly got us away. I still remember its vivid yellow eyes, though,” he fell quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful. “What a beautiful creature.”

“It sounds like you’ve a thousand stories from Myanmar,” Elías said, smiling softly, Severus turning to him with a cocked eyebrow.

“Didn’t you just want to know my favorite animal?”

“I want to know more than that,” Elías rolled his eyes. “I know like, super personal shit about you, Sev, but I can’t tell the most basic! I want to know those!”

“But _why_?” the other Slytherin asked again.

“I already told you,” Elías finally let go of his arm as the crowd thinner out, the ceiling getting a bit lower until the street of the summa cavea was rid of sunlight, lanterns hanging around to shed some light. “I want to know you.”

“I will never get a straight answer from you about this, will I?” Severus sighed.

“This _is_ a straight answer,” Elías shook his head, grinning. “Look, if you feel uncomfortable, that’s fine, I can drop it.”

“It’s –“ Severus grunted. “It’s the fact that we’re only talking about _me_.”

“Alright, then for every question I ask, you can ask me one,” Elías offered, making Severus relax slightly. “Sounds good?”

“Fine,” the other man replied, turning to him. “What is, pray tell, your favorite animal, then?”

“Snakes,” Elías grinned and then added quietly, “And platypi.”

“…what?” Severus stared at him. “Pla – _platypi_?”

“Have you ever seen a platypus just walk around?” Elías asked and Severus looked so boggled that Elías had to laugh, trying to speak properly through it. “C-cute. They’re _so fucking cute_.”

“They’re freaks of nature,” Severus replied dryly.

“Don’t say that, that’s so mean!” Elías gasped.

“They’re _animals, Elías_ ,” Severus told him, shaking his head. “They won’t be – are we seriously talking about this? Is this what my life has come to?” he breathed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and Elías gave a laugh. “Discussing platypi. This is it.”

“Isn’t that better than being bored, alone at home, though?” Elías asked, grinning at him and Severus glanced over at him.

“I’m not too sure about that,” he deadpanned and Elías threw his head back and laughed. “We’re almost there – could you stop making a scene?”

“Nobody cares, Sev, everyone’s loud in my country,” Elías replied, looking ahead and indeed, seeing _La Librería de Estefanía_ in big letters in a shop carved against the stone, right at the end of a short alley.

Elías turned to Severus, frowning a bit before looking around, finding a few more shady wizards and witches, the darkness of the street allowing for a glum, secretive sight. Elías realized that they were probably in the darker side of the market and it gave him some hope that they’d find what they’d need in this book store.

“Is this it?” Elías asked needlessly, walking into the alleyway after Severus, who nodded curtly. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t have much hope until now. This place… it looks uh, dark alright.”

“Have you never gone into a less than savory library?” Severus cocked an eyebrow, stopping in front of the door, an old wooden think with iron details that were frankly beautiful.

“No, I’ll be honest, not at all,” Elías rubbed his shoulder, making a face. “Just… never had a reason to, you know?”

“You’ll be surprised to find,” Severus began, rolling his eyes a bit as he opened the front door, a soft bell ringing. “that these shops are like any other.”

Elías walked in after him and blinked hard at the beautiful light that streamed through the windows, warm and hard, like the end of a sunset. It bathed the shop in a persimmon color and immediately, a flowery smell invaded Elías’ sense.

Everywhere he looked there were pots of plants, flowers everywhere, beautiful bell white flowers that filled each little corner. Shelves upon shelves of books covered every wall, even the ceiling and Elías’ eyes widened as he looked up, seeing a couple pigeons in their nests on the rim of the dome right above, depicting the night sky in beautiful strokes of paint. The store was probably three or four stories high, he couldn’t really tell but it left him breathless – he’d never seen a place like this.

“ _Buenas tardes_ ,” a feminine voice spoke up and Elías looked away from the ceiling and down to the counter, where a white, brown-eyed woman with thick hair tied into a messy bun watched the two professors. She looked younger than Elías had expected, around Severus’ age and she seemed professional and serious. “ _¿Buscais algo en particular?_ ”

“ _Ah, si,_ ” Elías nodded, moving forward, Severus beside him as he glanced over a section on the left about magical creatures. “ _Buscaba algunos tomos sobre magia temporal._ ”

“ _Tengo algunos libros, si, en la sección B, quinto piso_ ,” she pointed upwards and Elías gave her a smile, nodding, pulling on Severus’ sleeve.

“Fifth floor,” he whispered, making Severus nod, the two of them climbing up the narrow wooden stairs. Elías watched the vines circling the railing with a marveled look, smiling brightly. “Sev, this is _the_ most beautiful shop I’ve ever seen?”

“It’s certainly vivacious,” the potions professor raised his eyebrows a bit. “What? Did you expect some dark, dank shithole with cobwebs and dust everywhere? With a shady store owner that bows too much? Do you truly fall for that stereotyping?”

Elías flushed, “I’ve seen Knockturn Alley. I thought –“

“That’s just _London_ ,” Severus snorted and Elías gave a laugh into his hand, grinning widely. “As we’ve established before, the Dark Arts constitute more than what we _know_ is Dark Magic, sadly. Most of these shops simply fall into the category of _too curious for the common good_. Venomous plants, time magic books, a cursed object, all of those are not bad on their own.”

“Cursed objects are not dark, real bad magic?” Elías’ eyebrows shot up.

“Dangerous? Yes. But on its own, it’s basically dormant,” Severus explained, looking curiously at the first floor, seeing no one else in the shop. It seemed so far that they were the only ones. “Oftentimes, cursebreakers will work on those – study them, figure out how it works. They’re a good source of study and they help us understand how magic works”

“No, I – I know that, my sister is a cursebreaker. As, well, a hobby, but she often finds cursed items,” Elías explained and Severus blinked, turning to him.

“As a _hobby_?” he asked, surprised.

“She’s overly competent, yeah,” Elías mumbled, poking Severus’ back so he’d keep moving, the professor grunting but complying. “But I mean – cursed things are – they’re _cursed_. It’s literally what they are, it’s a bad enchantment that… sticks to the object.”

“No, it’s _not_ ,” Severus said, irritated, jaw locking. “What is a curse? Elías, _Second Year of Defense Against Dark Arts_.”

Elías sighed, rolling his eyes, “A curse is a spell to inflict harm or punishment on someone or something. Curses can be charms or enchantments – charms when cast directly on a person and enchantments when cast on an object.”

“Nonsense,” Severus spat, hands thrown up with frustration.

“That’s what _I_ learned,” Elías replied dryly, watching his tall figure with a bit of amusement. “Sorry that the Hogwarts curriculum is so lacking, Sev.”

“Lacking?! It’s a travesty! Charms are cast _on a person_ – bah! Nonsense!” he gritted his teeth. “There are werewolves and vampires and the curse –“

“But that’s a _disease_ , though, isn’t it? A magical disease?” Elías asked.

“Disease implies a disorder of structure or function in a human, animal, or plant, especially one that produces specific symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury,” he explained, making Elías blink. He knew Severus had an eidetic memory but the fact that he could spew out such definitions without blinking truly threw Elías off, from time to time. “Lycanthropy, if it were a disease, would be spread through pathogenic microorganisms – but it is _not_.”

“Wait, it’s not the saliva?” Elías asked, stunned. “I thought –“

“It’s a common misconception,” Severus sighed, rubbing his temple. “No, Elías. If Lupin bit you and broke skin right now, on a crescent moon, without pushing a willing transformation, you would _not_ turn into a werewolf. If he bit you as a wolf, he _would_ turn you into a werewolf. And if he _clawed you_ , you would _also_ turn.”

“Oh,” Elías mumbled, his thoughts moving into all the wonderful ways Remus would bite him as a huma – no, that was _stupid_ to think about.

“It’s an old curse,” Severus explained, a bit calmer as they reached the third floor, still climbing, still seeing no one but Estefanía down at the ground floor. “It doesn’t work in the way current spells do. It’s why I don’t believe it’s a disease. It’s –“

“Ancient witchcraft,” Elías finished, quietly. “Right?”

“Exactly,” Severus pursed his lips. “Little is known about it. It wasn’t really considered a disease until recently, when everyone suddenly decided it was because they couldn’t be _bothered_ to investigate it further, not after the Lycanthropy Scandal of ’87. Vampirism as well.”

“But wasn’t vampirism caused by a botched enchantment?” Elías asked.

“Botched _potion_ ,” Severus corrected, making Elías nod. “Searching for immortality is one of the most dangerous paths in alchemy. Humans are not meant to live forever – no one is. Defying death can have grave consequences, which is why Flamel destroyed the Sorcerer’s Stone. With vampirism – yes, you reach immortality, so long as no one stakes your heart. But at what cost? Your soul?”

“So… it’s a curse because… it hurts the recipient of it, not the ones around them?” Elías asked.

“Not... quite,” Severus rubbed his jaw. “It doesn’t have to hurt everyone – just the one intended. Like anti-muggle curses. It’s completely harmless for any wizard but it does harm muggles.”

“So you’re saying that curses are just – varied. And don’t always harm,” Elías said, frowning. “Then what _is_ a curse?”

“Yes – _no_ ,” Severus sighed. “It’s a highly debated topic. And – well, lycanthropy and vampirism as well. I’m telling you what I believe, as someone who has studied this in his free time and has thoroughly researched. Some believe it’s a curse, others believe that it’s a disease.”

“But –“ Elías rubbed his face. “If it’s called a condition – well –“ he let out a frustrated sigh, thinking hard. “I… see why you’d think it’s a curse. It seems like a disease, though? It alters the normal function of the individual’s organism. It’s infectious. If it _was_ man-made, like vampirism… But vampirism is considered a disease _now._ ”

Severus hummed. “Would you consider Lupin cursed, if that was the case?”

“No,” Elías immediately said, then hesitated. “…I… don’t know?”

“Oh?” Severus turned to him and Elías flushed.

“It’s – it’s complicated. And I can’t speak for him, you know? I have _no idea_ what it’s like. I just know a bit about firsthand systematic oppression. I can’t compare my muggleborn, trans or gay status to a werewolf condition, Sev. They’re so different. And Remus barely talks about it, too. I really have no valid opinion in this, except that werewolves deserve full human rights.”

“Indeed,” Severus muttered and the potioneer and the astronomy professor finally reached the fifth floor, lit with gentle floating lights since there were only a few windows in this part. Elías began to look for section B, stepping closer to the shelves. “In any case, I defend the right for anyone to acquire a cursed item, as I was saying before.”

“Fair,” Elías replied, shrugging. “Thought I have to say – I’d rather there wasn’t an underground black market for those and there was some fair, established regulation for them.”

“Agreed,” Severus tapped Elías’ shoulder and the Spaniard turned to him, watching the other Slytherin point at a huge B painted over a wooden arc, leading to the right side of the shop. “I believe she said section B?”

“Yeah,” Elías breathed, walking through the arc.

This section was – it was different. Elías paused as he immediately smelled the familiar scent of sea brine and he looked down at the wooden floor, lifting a foot. The wood was… wet. Which definitely should’ve rotten the floor, with how soaked it was but the wood held strong. Elías frowned, turning to Severus, who was watching his feet as well.

“Humidity should’ve ruined the books,” Severus muttered. “She must’ve done a protection spell on these shelves… but why didn’t she stop the humidity?”

“Cursed book?” Elías guessed.

“Not necessarily,” Severus pursed his lips, looking around the shelves. “…but it’s probable. Keep a lookout. Don’t pull out any books without telling me first.”

“Alright,” Elías breathed in, nodding before he went into the left shelves right, Severus to the right, starting to look through the books carefully set there.

The shop might be bright and cheery and full of life but the moment Elías began to read the titles, he realized just how _illegal_ it was for him to be doing this. He swallowed a bit, thinking of England and the iron rules it had over any book breaching their censorship just as his fingers brushed the spine of a book titled _En Tiempos Ajenos_. Elías hesitated, looking at the thin, simple binding. It looked so inconspicuous.

“Sev?” he called and in no time, the other professor was beside him. “This one seems innocuous.”

“It does,” Severus rested a finger on the top of the spine and slowly pulled it out, looking at the cover, reading over the name and title. “ _In Other Times_. A book written by a seer.”

“How do you know?” Elías asked quietly and Severus tapped the name of the author, making Elías lean in to read it better. “Cassandra Trelawney?!”

“Sybill’s great-great grandmother,” Severus nodded. “She was an adept seer. Very famous witch, though mostly recognized in Scotland.”

“Do you think this would be useful?” Elías asked, taking the book gently from Severus’ hands, looking through it with a little frown. “It’s a translated version, though…”

“You could ask Sybill for a copy in original English,” Severus suggested, making Elías nod, putting the book back in. “But this is good – seers are in this section. I’m guessing time magic books are being lumped with divination. Makes our search easier.”

“I suppose,” Elías muttered, swallowing for a moment and Severus went back to his own side, making Elías sigh, rubbing his arms. There was something in this section that unsettled him, something that was making his nose itch and he didn’t exactly know what but he had to keep going. They’d come this far.

The two professors stayed silent as they searched through the shelves, Elías only pulling out books when Severus allowed it, very carefully skimming over them, swallowing every time he opened one. He hadn’t had any bad experiences in the Restricted Section of Hogwarts but he’d heard rumors before. If there were any dangerous books, the owner would take precautions, after all. Right?

…right?

Elías ended up moving to Severus’ side, since he needed to ask him anyway. Back to back, the ran through every spine, every title, searching for books that could be useful. Half of them were common, mass produced books that one or the other had already read. The only sound for a while was the creak of wet wood under their feet and the _swish_ of fabric sliding together as Elías’ pants brushed Severus’.

It was… comforting to be closer to him in such a strange place and Elías relaxed little by little, feeling safer with Severus right behind him, covering his back. As they moved to the next shelves, Elías noticed the small pile of books that Severus had set aside on a stool nearby, glancing at the top one. With an inquisitive look, he read the title of it, finding it in Greek, struggling to remember what his mother had taught him while _Πέρα από τα δύο μάτια_ sat innocently on the pile.

“You know Greek?” Elías asked Severus.

“Yes. Ancient Greek,” he replied and Elías hummed.

“In Spain, I would’ve studied it, had I gone to muggle high school,” he murmured, reaching for the tome when Severus appeared from between the shelves, gripping his wrist tight, Elías’ eyes snapping to his. “Wha –“

“Haven’t we just talked,” he began, irritated, glaring at Elías. “about how curses can affect ones more than others?”

“Because I’m a muggleborn?” Elías asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Because you are _not_ a seer,” Severus replied and Elías swallowed, looking down at the book as Severus let go of his hand.

Elías’ hand slammed down on it and Severus jumped, eyes wide, hands already on Elías’ shoulders… as nothing happened.

“See? All good!” Elías grinned and Severus cursed under his breath, head bowed, letting out a shaky exhale, his hair covering his face. “It’s just a _book_ , Severus. Like, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Anything!” Severus burst out, shaking his shoulders, making Elías roll his eyes. “ _By Salazar_ , you’re absolutely _insane_! Don’t ever do that again!”

“If I don’t touch it, how do you _expect us_ to find _anything_?!” Elías replied, shoving his hands away, watching Severus grit his teeth. “If I run around touching every book and _something happens_ then I think we’d get farther much faster, you know?”

“You could get _injured_ ,” Severus snapped at him.

“I’m willing to take the risk,” Elías crossed his arms, huffing.

“You could get _killed_!” Severus shouted this time and Elías frowned, looking down at his feet, frustrated. Severus stood straight and rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply, probably begging higher powers to give him some patience but Elías wanted _answers_. They could spend all day in this book store, trying to find useful tomes, and then spend days, weeks, _months_ reading all of this and it _still_ wouldn’t give them anything. If he could speed it up –

“I’m tired of being in the dark, I want _answers_ ,” Elías told Severus firmly.

“You won’t find them by being _reckless_ ,” Severus hissed and Elías looked away, swallowing hard. “We’ve to be careful about this.”

“We’re wasting time,” Elías murmured.

“We’ve _got_ the time,” Severus told him but Elías kept glaring at the railing, not looking at the potioneer. “What has got you in such a hurry, Elías?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “What have you Seen?”

“Nothing,” the Spaniard whispered.

“ _Elías_ –“

“I’ve Seen _nothing of use_!” Elías finally snapped, making Severus blink as Elías breathed hard, frustrated beyond belief, his hands turning into tight fists. “I’ve Seen nothing of _fucking use_ except the fact that Sirius doesn’t want to kill Harry fucking Potter! But none of you believe me with that _shit_!” he snarled, Severus frowning. “Dumbledore won’t let me fucking _talk to anyone_ about this and he’ll have my fucking hide if he knows someone else than McGonagall fucking know but _fuck it_! Fuck it!” he threw his hands up. “He’s all I’ve been fucking Seeing! Nothing else! Just Black, Black, Black, _Black all the fucking time!_ ” he gripped his hair, the back of his eyes burning. “Nothing that could prove him innocent to anyone else! Nothing that could prove he didn’t kill the Potters! Nothing that could help me understand why I can See all this shit! I can’t See where Voldemort is, I can’t See where Carrow is, I can’t See a godsdamn fucking _thing_ that could help anyone and I’m _tired_!”

“Elías, what the _hell_ are you talking about?” Severus hissed, hand moving to his shoulder, pushing him further into section B as he looked over his shoulder, making sure there was nobody but Elías was nearly in tears. “What do you mean Black –“

“Sirius is innocent,” he told Severus desperately, eyes wide, hands moving to Severus’ wrists, holding onto them. “Sev, you have to believe me, you’ve to _believe me._ ” He stared at the potions master, begging him, blues watery. Dumbledore didn’t believe shit but Severus had to know, he’d known the man, he’d seen how much he’d loved the Potters.

“Of course he’s innocent,” Severus muttered between gritted teeth, looking away, absolutely furious. “Of _course_ he’s innocent.”

“You… believe me?” Elías blinked, surprised, breathless.

“You’re the seer – well, _whatever you are_ ,” Severus sighed deeply, hands crisping on his shoulders, making Elías swallow tightly. “What did you see?”

“He was talking to Harry. Outside of Hogwarts. Spoke about being a free man,” Elías muttered, making Severus’ lips tighten into a displeased frown. “Harry was so happy. He was grinning, he – Gods, Severus, I’ve Seen him in – in meetings with all of us, I’ve Seen him next to you and Remus and me and _Dumbledore_ , he’s _innocent_.”

“I said I believe you,” Severus let go of his shoulders, rubbing his face tiredly. “Who betrayed the Potters, then?” he asked before pausing, eyes snapping to Elías. “Not Lupin. He’s a coward but not that type. Which leaves –“

“Pettigrew,” Elías murmured. “I know. Remus and I figured it out.”

“Pettigrew was blown to _bits_ ,” Severus replied.

“He cut off his pinky finger,” Elías retorted and Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Killed all those muggles himself –“

“How _long_ ,” Severus began, voice dangerously low. “how long have you known this?”

“A… about two months or so,” Elías murmured, eyes cast downwards.

“And why didn’t you tell me?” Severus asked, watching the Spaniard.

“Because you _hate_ the man,” Elías huffed. “I thought you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I probably wouldn’t have,” Severus admitted, mouth curled into an expression of disgust. “Not two months ago.”

“Yeah,” Elías rubbed the back of his neck, sucking in a sharp breath. “I – I’m sorry, Severus, but I – he’s innocent. Is he a dick? Yeah. Does he deserve Azkaban? _Hell no_.”

“I digress,” Severus muttered and Elías glared.

“He _doesn’t deserve Azkaban_ ,” Elías snapped and Severus rolled his eyes a bit.

“Fine. He doesn’t. But if Pettigrew isn’t caught –“

“It’s – it’s Weasley’s rat,” Elías blurted out, making Severus pause. “That’s why Sirius is in Hogwarts. That’s why he attacked Ron with a knife. It all makes sense!”

“The – the _rat_?” Severus seemed a bit overwhelmed, hands running through his half-loose hair, turning around as he breathed in and out slowly. “Merlin give me _patience_ , Elías, you knew all of this and you told _no one_?!”

“I told Dumbledore!” Elías replied. “And I told Remus!”

“Did you tell _Potter_?” he asked, incredulous.

“No! I’m not an _idiot_ , the boy is thirteen!” Elías laughed a bit. “If he knew, he’d be doing even more stupid shit than he already is! The rat ran off and Remus and I are hoping to catch him and turn him in, Sev!”

“And couldn’t you have told this to anyone else who could do _something official about it_ instead of potentially being accuse of working with a _serial killer_?” Severus hissed, stepping closer.

“No one _believes me_ ,” Elías snarled just as quiet, eyes furious. “Not even _you_ would’ve believed me. And you just fucking admitted it, Sev! Do you see my position? Do you see where I stand with this shit?”

“…I see,” Severus admitted, lips still pursed, watching Elías’ face, sighing deeply. “How much have you kept to yourself?”

“I keep a lot to myself,” Elías told him, a bit coldly, blues moving to the books instead of returning Severus’ stare. “Because whenever I speak up, I’m dismissed. The little things that I _do_ See that are important? They’re tossed aside. I have no credibility among Dumbledore, among my peers. The only one who trusts me is Remus.”

“I trust you,” Severus told him and Elías laughed.

“No, you don’t,” he said, turning back to Severus, who paused before finally speaking.

“…no, I don’t. But you don’t trust _me_ , either.”

“I trust you with certain things. But not with everything, Sev,” Elías muttered.

“Understandable,” Severus stepped back and Elías realized just how close the two had been standing, his painted nails raking through his hair as he tried to think a bit. “What else are you hiding?”

“W-what?” Elías blinked, surprised by Severus’ no-bullshit tone.

“You’re hiding something else. Something that you’ve Seen, haven’t you?” Severus said, pursing his lips, eyes narrowed at Elías, who stared back at him. He didn’t want to tell him about Sirius. He didn’t want to tell him that he’d been meeting with the guy, not when Severus would surely want to go and see him, talk to him – or, very probably, fight with him.

Elías was already on thin ice with Sirius and he didn’t want to push it by telling Severus without consulting Sirius first. He would talk with the last heir of the Black House, make sure they were on equal terms and _then_ let Severus know. For now, he couldn’t say a thing.

“It’s nothing I’ve Seen,” Elías told him, sighing. “I’m not ready to tell you yet, alright? Give… give me some time.”

“Elías –“

“Sev,” the younger wizard rubbed his face and looked up at the other man, swallowing. “Please. _Please_. Just give it some time. It’s not endangering me, I promise you. It’s… a very complicated and stressful situation, is all.”

Severus sighed, turning around with frustration, growling. “Fine! Fine, Elías, do as you please! After all, I couldn’t possibly convince you to do the reasonable thing, not even once!”

“You’re patronizing me,” Elías said quietly, exhausted and Severus gave a grunt.

“Is it patronizing you if I’m the adult in this situation?” he sneered and Elías wanted to _kick his face in_ , eyes burning again because of _course_ he would cry like a fucking child. Of course he would prove Severus right by bawling his eyes out the moment someone sent out a hurtful comment.

Instead of letting it happen, though, he simply began to walk out of the room, out of this stupid fucking situation. He wouldn’t reply, he wouldn’t give Severus the satisfaction of seeing him struggle for a smart or witty retort – Elías had none. He only had more hurt to spew out, more insults and needlessly mean things, like blaming the other for their brother’s death.

Gods, he truly owed Sirius an apology for that one.

“Elías – _shite_ , Elías –“ Severus began to follow the man out of section B but the Spaniard didn’t say anything, simply waving hand at Severus to leave him alone. “I didn’t mean –“

“Yes, you did mean it,” Elías’ voice cracked and he winced, thankful that he was giving Severus his back as he started to lower the stairs.

“I’m _frustrated_ that you don’t think I’m worthy of knowing what’s –“

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about?” Elías asked, whipping around, glaring at Severus deeply, the man freezing, eyes wide. “You think this is all about you?” he laughed incredulously, staring with disbelief, hand running over his features. “Gods, of _course_ you do. This isn’t about you, Severus, I don’t give a rat’s _ass_ about your _worth to know_ ,” he used air quotes, rolling his eyes. “If I tell you I’m not ready to say it, it’s because I’m _not ready to say it_.”

Severus seemed to physically swallow his pride, his throat bobbing, looking utterly lost as he clutched the railing of the stairs tight. So seldom did Elías see him realize things – the most evident had been before the Amortentia explosion, with Elías screaming at him about consent, about women, about expectations and… violation of your basic right to say no. And now, he had that same look on his face. He looked devastated but Elías had no pity.

“The world isn’t out to get you,” Elías murmured, frowning at him. “ _I_ am not out to get you. I’m your _friend_. I’m trusting you with so fucking much, Severus, more than I’m used to. I’ve allowed you into my home, into my _family’s home_. I’ve introduced you to my mother, grandmother, my sister. I’ve given you chance after chance after _chance_ when I’m in my _full right_ to never forgive you after what you did to me, the things you’ve said to me,” he swallowed, seeing Severus wince hard. “Whenever you think of Sirius Black and what he did to you in his youth, I want you to also think of what you’ve done to everyone else around you. Maybe then you’ll realize what a fucking _hypocrite_ you are.”

Elías moved past him back upstairs, because he actually needed answers and he’d said all he needed to say at the moment. Let him ruminate on his words and think about what he’d done while Elías thought about what a truly awful thing he’d told Sirius before he left for Cartagena. He’d wanted to hurt the man in the moment – sure, Sirius was _wrong_ but lashing out and pulling at old wounds did nothing to change his mind. Sirius had a lot to learn and yes, he was a conceited asshole who only saw in binaries but accusing him to letting his own brother die was hardly the way to change his mind.

Elías felt awful. He’d been _awful_.

“I…” Severus spoke up, making Elías pause under the wooden arc of the fifth floor, not turning. He couldn’t look at Severus. He’d feel too much pity and Elías couldn’t let himself be swayed by emotions. Severus had to _learn_. “Elías, I’m… sorry,” he whispered, his voice honest and raw and the astronomy professor felt a pang of sadness hit him. “That was – it was a petty insult meant to hurt you. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“I wonder if you think I’m like… some child in your way,” Elías murmured, staring at the end of section B, where a couple of books sat in glass displays. Anything to not look at Severus and make him see how much his comment had affected him. “Fuck, you think I don’t _know_ how young I am compared to all of you? Youngest of the staff, youngest of the professors, young in the eyes of my entire family, young for _everything_. So everyone thinks I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing when I know for _sure_ that nobody fucking knows. Not you, not Remus, not Dumbledore, _no one_. You wanna call me a child? Go ahead. _Go ahead_ ,” he finally turned to Severus, trying to hold back all the anger he had boiling inside at the constant insult that was always thrown his way. “Just don’t expect me to just _take it_.”

“I don’t think you’re a child,” Severus told him firmly, walking forward but Elías crossed his arms, frowning deeply.

“Is that so? Then why does this come up so often, then?” he huffed.

“Because you’re – you’re so _emotional_ ,” Severus said, frustrated, hands thrown to his sides. “I can see it now, how you’re holding back _tears_.”

“Because you _hurt me_ ,” Elías whispered, voice wavering and Severus froze up, staring, unable to give a reply to that. “I told you that I can’t take what all of you and your friends dish out, Sev. I’m emotional, I’m sensitive, I _won’t apologize for it_ ,” he stated, no room for any _ifs_ or _buts_.

“I’m… I’m sorry I hurt you,” Severus murmured, still looking surprised and a bit awkward, hands twitching at his sides, as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “I don’t think you’re a child, Elías.”

“I don’t believe you,” the Spaniard replied, making Severus look away, sighing, rubbing at his eyes. “I think you value my friendship. I think you enjoy our time together. But I also think that _you_ think I’m still just a kid. That’s why you’re so happy to teach me shit.”

“No, _no, no_ ,” Severus shook his head, approaching him as Elías looked down at his feet, arms crossed tight over his chest. “I do _not_ think so. Elías – Elías, look at me, please.”

“I’d rather not,” Elías swallowed, seeing Severus’ shoes come to view. “It’s so fucking hard to – to think that you and Remus think I’m just this naïve, stupid kid, you know?”

“Neither of us think that,” Severus told him, voice gentler.

“Then stop _acting like it_ ,” Elías muttered, chest tight.

Severus sighed again, hand moving up to Elías’ chin, softly pushing it up until Elías finally was looking at him in the eye, his blues wet. The potioneer brushed a thumb through his lower lashes, catching a tear before it fell and Elías _hated him_ for making his heart race. And he hated himself for feeling like this even as they fought, even after Severus had hurt him.

“I am very sorry for my attitude,” Severus began, soft and genuine, watching Elías right in the eyes as he spoke, making the Spaniard swallow hard. “I know you’ve been – generous with me. I know you’ve been _good_ to me. And to my friends, too. Long ago, I would’ve attributed so at the fact that you’re a Slytherin as well but… it’s not at all so. You’re right,” he stated and Elías felt a deep wound close in him at those words, closing his eyes, breathing in slowly. “You’re right, Elías, and I am… wrong,” he licked over his lips, mouth dry and he sighed quietly. “I’m sorry I insulted you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I am… no saint. And I won’t shield myself from my mistakes by saying so, I just need you to understand that I’m… trying.”

“I know you’re trying. It’s the only reason you’re here right now with me,” Elías replied, tired, _exhausted_ , hand moving to wrap around Severus’ wrist, eyes moving down to stare at his hand. “You’re doing a lot of things right, Sev. But I _am_ gonna call you out on your shit. Just like you called me out on… the book touching thing.”

“That was _really stupid_ ,” Severus pointed out and Elías grunted.

“I know,” he muttered, finally letting go of his wrist. “I forgive you. Just don’t say that shit again, alright?”

“Alright,” Severus’ hand dropped from his chin and he took in a sharp breath. “Thank – thank you. For… giving me another ch –“

“Don’t mention it,” Elías replied quickly, turning around. “Let’s just keep looking.”

* * *

There were no adverse reactions, no strange happenings, nothing of the sort within the book store but they did walk out with a _lot_ of tomes in their arms, which Elías shrunk just like he’d done with the rest of the things they’d bought, pocketing them. In the end, they decided to stay in the darkened zone of the summa cavea, finding another hole in the wall where they could eat in peace – not many patrons were around and Elías and Severus found a table under the stairs leading up, Elías’ head buried on his crossed arms over the wooden table after they ordered their lunch.

“We’re going to spend _so much time reading_ ,” Elías groaned.

“I thought you enjoyed reading?” Severus asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“I _do_ ,” Elías sighed, moving his head so his chin would rest on his arms. “But half of these tomes are in latin. I have to take so much time to translate them and… I can’t really enjoy them the way I do other literature… This is _research_. It’s not as if I was reading Terry Pratchett, yeah?”

“Do you enjoy him?”

Elías blinked, looking up at Severus, startled. “What?”

“Do you enjoy Terry Pratchett?” he asked more clearly and Elías nodded.

“Yeah, I do,” Elías smiled softly. “I like the Discworld series,” he laughed. “It’s one of my favorites. My father got them for me when I was like, twelve? He got me _The Colour of Magic_. I actually learned English with a lot of his books. I’d memorize them, front to back, and eventually read them in English.”

Severus was leaning back on his chair as he listened, nodding slowly before humming, “Is he your favorite author?”

“Oh, no,” Elías shook his head. “No, no, not really. I don’t… have a favorite author? To be honest? I like so many genres, there are _such_ good books around…”

“But there must be a special one, right?” Severus echoed his words from earlier and Elías laughed a bit, eyes a bit lost as he looked over the potioneer’s shoulder, flushing a bit.

“There _is_ one, but you’re not allowed to laugh at me,” he said firmly.

“I don’t promise anything,” Severus chuckled and Elías sighed, rubbing his nose, biting his lower lip. He pondered it for a moment before finally nodding.

“Alright. Fine,” he sat up, hands on the table. “It’s _The Good Neighbor_.”

Severus blinked, not expecting that answer. “The… horror romance novel by Newton Edgecomb?”

“Yep,” Elías laughed a bit, looking at the grooves of the table instead of him, “It’s nice. It’s… soft. And the prose is _wonderful_.”

“I didn’t expect you to be into the thousand page romance,” Severus confessed, watching him curiously. “Is it because it’s about two men?”

“That was the reason why I picked it up,” Elías confessed, nodding. “But it’s not why it’s my favorite.”

“It does seem like you’d appreciate a book about a muggle and wizard falling in love,” Severus put before sighing. “Though I wonder now if it’s because of this novel that you enjoy Lupin.”

Elías flushed darkly and he said quietly, “I _don’t have a werewolf fetish_.”

“Good to know,” Severus said, snorting a bit, looking amused.

“Siegbert’s not even a _werewolf_ ,” Elías sighed, rubbing his cheek. “He’s a beast the whole time, that’s the _point_. He doesn’t transform under the full moon or anything. He just _yearns_ and sends Baldric flowers,” he sighed, pouting at Severus as the man continued to smirk. “It’s a _good_ book. It explores alienation, inter-magical relationships and the soul. Have you even read it?”

“No, I must confess I haven’t,” Severus hummed.

“It’s written well, the pace is wonderful, the characters are… so flawed and _so_ relatable,” Elías frowned a bit. “I confess, though, that the story does not have a happy ending. I tend to enjoy those the most, I’m afraid.”

“I saw Lupin with a written around, falling apart copy of that book you carried around my class,” Severus spoke. “Is that another of your favorites?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, shrugging as an employee brought their lunch over, Elías’ hands falling away from the table, quietly thanking the waiter in Spanish. “I just enjoy tragedies, I guess. What about you? What’s your favorite book?”

“For once, you’ve asked an easy question,” Severus said, taking his goblet and taking a long sip of water, keeping Elías watching him over his gazpacho. “Frankenstein.”

“Mary Shelley?” Elías’ eyes lit up.

“Indeed,” he nodded.

“Oh, that’s _such a good book_ ,” Elías gushed, grinning wide.

“I must admit, though,” Severus took a deep breath, looking at Elías. “Although it is hard to understand and hard to get through… I enjoy Nabokov’s prose.”

“Oh,” Elías blinked, remembering. “Oh, you _are_ reading Lolita?”

“I finished it last night,” Severus replied, a bit quietly. “I… felt awful about Dolores.”

“Yeah,” Elías muttered, wincing. “How… what do you think about it? About the whole book?”

“I’ve thought _a lot_ about that damned book,” Severus admitted, making Elías feel a spike of hope, watching Severus, waiting. Severus took a single bite of his lunch, chewing thoroughly, then swallowing before putting his fork aside, ready to talk. “This book has… themes that are erased if I focused on the characters or the story alone. It’s not just about Humbert, or Dolores, or even Charlotte. It’s… more than Humbert’s monologues about why what he’s doing is justified, immediately followed by an attempt of parenting her in the throes of guilt.”

“…alright,” Elías nodded slowly. “I agree with that.”

“It’s not a love story,” Severus said and Elías nodded quickly, making Severus frown. “I fear that many think it is.”

“Unfortunately so,” Elías rolled his eyes. “Do keep going, though.”

“I… think it’s –“ Severus paused, hesitating and Elías’ eyebrows shot up. “I’ll be honest, Elías, it feels like a _comedy_.”

“There it is!” Elías laughed, grinning, watching Severus with satisfaction. “You got it! Nabokov’s a comedian, you got it as well!”

“Humbert is _pathetic_ ,” Severus told him and Elías nodded. “The dark humor – I laughed, at times. And felt horrible for doing so.”

“Yeah,” Elías watched him, wincing. “It’s something hard to swallow, that there’s a comedy like this. A lot of conversations about Lolita are about whether Humbert Humbert is a sympathetic character or not but I don’t think that’s what Nabokov was trying to reach for.”

“Neither do I,” Severus agreed, looking at Elías with a frown. “It’s… an exploration of a man grasping at straws to justify what he does. Humbert is incapable of love – he shielded himself behind his intellect and his dark humor and called Dolores a nickname to distance himself from the things he was doing to this… this girl.”

“The funny thing is, when you read the book,” Elías began. “He doesn’t outright _justify himself_ , he’s just…”

“Charming,” Severus finished dryly. “Witty. Nabokov - he managed to take a protagonist whose actions are repulsive, and who is frequently by his own admission weak and cowardly, but keeps the readers holding onto every word. Humbert’s thoughts and actions frequently disgusted me but somehow he as a character did not disgust me until I put down the book and thought of him. Each time I reacted with revulsion to a thought or observation of his, he quickly followed with a clever allusion or joke that distracted me from my disgust, too. He reminds -”

“Yeah,” Elías swallowed as Severus paused, cutting himself off. “Go on. Say it.”

“He… reminds me of Abraxas,” he sighed and Elías’ eyes went wide. “Disguising his bigotry so easily behind praise, witty remarks and a charming nature.”

“It’s easy to get swept up in it, isn’t it?” Elías hummed and Severus nodded, rubbing his jaw. “Humbert reminds me of Grim.”

Severus looked nauseous, looking at Elías as he touched the sides of his simple goblet. “Fawley?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded. “You know he was in the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, right?”

“How could I forget?” Severus replied dryly. “He was the star.”

“Best damn keeper I’ve ever met,” Elías laughed a bit, looking at the contents of his cup, shrugging. “He made me laugh. A lot. We only spoke after training, because otherwise his friends would’ve known we were friends. Well, _friends_ , y’know,” he snorted.

“I would’ve – well, you… two did not speak, as far I knew,” Severus muttered. “I thought it was just… an spontaneous thing.”

“What? No, oh, _no_ , the guy’s a groomer,” Elías explained and Severus looked away, uncomfortable. “I’m pretty sure his wife is miserable. She’s four years younger than me.”

Severus lurched a bit in his seat, taking in a deep breath, “Fuck. _Fuck_.”

“Yeah, gets you angry, doesn’t it?” Elías grinned, laughing a bit.

“Doesn’t it… affect you?” Severus asked, frowning.

“Oh, it does,” Elías nodded. “But that’s a bit of the – the whole thing, y’know? I’m always angry. Like, _always_ angry. So when I get mad, it just adds onto the pile. Then I lash out against someone who doesn’t deserve it,” he sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Humbert reminds me of Grim because the motherfucker is still a successful politician in England known for doing incredible drug busts. He smiles and the camera adores him.”

“It’s unfair,” Severus murmured.

“People get hurt by people like Humbert,” Elías told Severus. “By people like Grim. Some feel guilty, others feel the need to justify it, others hide it behind smiles and jokes, others hide it behind intellect. There’s a bunch of Dolores Haze-like people running around, affected forever by what Humberts did. People like me.”

Severus stared, saying nothing, and Elías rubbed his jaw. “You know, it doesn’t have to be sexual abuse. It can be any type of abuse.”

“Elías –“

“I gave you Lolita because I wanted you to see what selfish, disgusting, _awful_ actions look like behind a charming façade,” Elías explained, making Severus’ jaw click shut. “I gave you Lolita because I wanted you to look at Humbert and think of all the girls you bodyshamed as a teacher, all the kids you bullied, all the people who cannot look at potions and have a _single happy memory_ of your class.”

“I’m… no Humbert,” Severus whispered, voice small but Elías gave a little huff.

“Then fucking _stop_ bullying kids,” he murmured. “You didn’t scream at Neville in the last couple of weeks, do you think that deserves a price, Severus?”

Severus said nothing, staring at Elías, speechless.

“How many children have cried after you were done with them?” Elías asked and Severus, once more, said nothing. “How many of them have dropped out of your class? How many of them have a fucking _boggart_ that is you?”

He was starting to look nauseous, watching the astronomy professor with guilty eyes and Elías felt _no_ pity.

“The inherent power imbalance between a twelve year old and a man twice her age,” Elías stated. “Do you understand that, do you see that?”

“I… I do,” Severus whispered.

“Next time you want to tell Harry Potter, an orphan hounded by the world about a fucking _scar_ on his forehead, about how much of a _lazy arrogant bastard_ his _dead father_ is, maybe think about Dolores and how she turned out from constant abuse from someone who was supposed to protect her,” Elías told the other professor before picking up his spoon and starting his meal, weight off his chest after letting it all out, uncaring that Severus seemed to have lost his appetite. He had, as well. But he ate for his younger self. For that scared boy under the Quidditch bleachers that thought that he'd never be the same. That he'd never be able to talk about this without wanting to die. That he would forever be tainted, disgusting to anyone who could possibly want him.

Elías ate. 

Because he was _not_ Dolores.


	55. The Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. This chapter is powered by "Quarantine is kicking my ass and I miss my sister very much, in spite of our relationship." Enjoy a chapter full of emotional turmoil and confused empathy. We hadn't had a song in a while, huh?
> 
> Songs in the Chapter:  
> \- Lullaby by the Cure  
> \- The Wolves (Part I & Part II) by Bon Iver
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Abusive households  
> \- Relationship with that abusive household  
> \- Death of a brother  
> \- Intrusive thoughts  
> \- Suicidal thoughts  
> \- Cultural genocide/Racism in general  
> \- Mention of homophobia  
> \- Mention of feelings of inadequacy

Wet from the small lake in the Malfoy grounds, Theodore, Greg and Draco began to head back into the Manor, still panting a bit from the swimming race. The day wasn’t the best for coming back soaked so Draco and Theo were huddled together, wrapped in towels as they walked barefoot through the soft green grass, Greg completely dry because he hadn’t wanted to get sick like Draco or Theo probably would.

“S’freezing!” Draco whined, making Theo roll his eyes a bit.

“It’s not, stop complaining,” he wrapped his arm around the Malfoy, keeping him close before Greg took his own dry towel and put it around them both, making Theo grin. “Thanks, mate.”

“You two are bonkers,” Greg stated. “It’s about to _rain_. We can’t even use our wands to dry off and you think going into the lake is _fun_.”

“It _was_ fun,” Draco defended before sneezing, making Theo worry a bit.

“Your mum’s gonna kill us,” Greg sighed, rubbing his face only for a _crack_ to surprise the three of them, Frederik appearing with two fluffy towels, snapping his fingers to dry the two boys. Theodore quickly took away his soaked towel and took the dry one, sighing happily, burying his mouth and nose against it. Smelled like the Malfoys, a comforting thing.

“Thanks, Fred,” Draco smiled at the elf, who simply gave Draco a warning look. “I know, I _know_ , but it’s fine! We’re not sick!”

“You could’ve gotten sick, sir, though, so don’t be jumping into lakes at this weather. Especially when we’ve guests,” the elf warned one last time before he disappeared, making Theodore snort.

“Did Pansy finally leave her dancing lessons or what?” he asked.

“It’s not her, she wouldn’t quit dancing,” Greg told them, frowning a bit. “Vince?”

“Maybe his trip was cancelled,” Draco shrugged. “Come on, let’s just get in quick.”

The three boys rushed through the short grass into the Malfoy gardens, where Narcissa was trimming the brushes and, sitting on the garden table were Corban and Severus, the kids’ eyes lighting up immediately.

“Uncle Corban!” Greg called, rushing to the man, surprising the three adults as the kids barreled into the exhausted man, making him laugh.

“Hey, you three!” he grinned, ruffling Draco’s hair and nudging Theodore and Greg with a bright smile.

“Are you two staying for dinner?” Draco asked, looking over at Professor Snape, who seemed… dimmer than the usual. He glanced at Draco, giving a curt nod, trying to look serious and only succeeding in looking miserable. Theodore and Greg exchanged a glance as Draco frowned, reaching over for his godfather’s arm. “Uncle Severus? Are you al –“

“Now, now, don’t hound the man,” Narcissa scolded them, trying to herd them towards the backdoors, leaving a leaf on Greg’s shoulder and gently brushing it away. “Have a shower, get ready for dinner and then you three can talk all you want with them, hmm?”

“Yes, mother,” Draco nodded, the other two boys echoing with _yes, ma’am_.

They all walked back into the house, giving each other looks of understanding and, once they were through the glass and iron doors, they all scrambled to sit under the nearest open window, Greg sitting between Theo and Draco.

“Lower, lower!” Theodore whisper-yelled at him, hands moving to Greg’s head and pulling it to his own shoulder, Greg mumbling something against Theodore’s skin while Draco hissed, “Shush, I can’t hear!”

The voices were faint but they could hear them, the tail-end of Narcissa’s sentence.

“…erus, you’ve to admit that you’re… well, _moping_. Of course the kids will notice!”

“They don’t usually notice any of my moods,” professor Snape sighed and Draco’s wide eyes went to Theo, who looked just as surprised, Greg shifting so his leg wouldn’t fall asleep. “I shouldn’t have come here –“

“What else would you have done?” Narcissa countered, unimpressed. “Go back to Hogwarts and spend the rest of the day thinking about Fernández?”

“ _Narcissa._ ”

Greg’s head _banged_ into the stone under the window and Draco and Theodore both quickly threw themselves on top of their friend, eyes wide, freezing but it seemed like none of the adults had noticed. Greg whimpered quietly and Draco kissed the top of his head, laughing breathlessly.

“You alright, Greggy?” Theodore asked, smiling softly, his hand moving to pat around his head. “That was a bad one.”

“I’m… _fine_ ,” he gritted his teeth, looking up at his friends. “Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Draco and Theodore agreed, poking their heads out from the edge of the window, glancing over to the conversation happening in the back gardens.

“Can’t you just,” Corban waved his hand, rolling his eyes. “Apologize or something?”

“It’s not that simple,” the professor sighed again, rubbing his temple, eyes closed. “He… he’s angry at me. He’s been angry at me for a while. For… things I have done and… am still doing.”

“Again, how about you apologize?” Corban snorted, sipping from his cup of tea before turning to Narcissa. “Oh, this one’s excellent.”

“Thank you,” she smiled at him before finally putting her gloves away and the three kids quickly bunched together so she wouldn’t see them when she turned to put them over her gardening table. “Honestly, Corban is right –“

“I can’t _apologize_ because it’s not – it’s not to _him_ ,” Snape said through gritted teeth and Draco frowned, their three heads poking up again, Narcissa’s back to them as she sat on the table alongside the other two adults. Professor Snape looked frustrated, glaring at the rose bushes, eyebrow twitching.

“Then what does he have to do with it?” Corban asked, frowning, leaning back on his chair. “Excuse my candor, but perhaps he should fuck off if he thinks he can get all up in your business.”

“No, he –“ Snape looked irritated, rubbing his face. “He’s _right_. It’s the worst of all, that he… is _right_.”

“What _was_ it about, Severus?” Narcissa asked, sipping her own tea, frowning at the potioneer. “Surely you can tell us, right? It’s just Corban and I.”

“And us,” Draco snickered quietly and Greg held in his laughter as Theodore grinned a bit, nudging his foot against Draco’s.

“It’s the way I… perform my role as professor,” Snape finally sighed and Theodore paused, eyebrows shooting up, looking over at his friends to see them just as surprised. “He… claims that I am…”

“Awful?” Corban finished, smirking.

“Corban!” Narcissa hissed, slapping his arm.

“It’s true! And he’s right! And Severus knows this!” the man called, throwing his hands up. “Come on, you’re a grumpy cunt. We all know it. Being a professor isn’t the easiest job in the world and in all these years, all I’ve ever heard from you are _complaints_. You don’t like the job, you don’t do the job right, what’s the issue?” he smirked a bit, mocking. “Huh?”

“I –“ Snape sighed, fingers on the bridge of his nose, stumped.

“I’ll tell you what’s the issue,” Corban knocked on the garden table, eyebrows raising up. “You’ve finally met someone whom you actually enjoy being around within the Hogwarts faculty and this man is taking _none of your shit_ , is he?”

“Corban –“ Snape warned but the other man just kept going.

“He called you out and for once, instead of feeling defensive or feeling like the guy who’s telling you off is a prick, you actually listened. And you know that he’s right. Because he’s a goody two-shoes and gives a shite about the kids.”

“Read him pretty well,” Narcissa hummed, grey eyes moving to Snape while Theodore thought hard about Professor Fernández and how Professor Snape acted around him. No, it wasn’t just… that, was it? He felt a bit bummed, that Fernández wasn’t softening Snape up like he and Pansy had thought, that Fernández was simply calling him out on… being biased and frankly a bit of an ogre.

“So what? Now you two aren’t speaking?” Corban asked Snape.

“No, I – I told him that I needed time to… process everything,” the professor rubbed his face and, to Theo’s surprised, groaned, dropping his face over his arms, shoulders hunched. “I cannot believe I ran. I _ran_ away from someone. I’m a coward. I’m no better than Lupin.”

“You are _not_ like Lupin,” Corban kicked him under the table.

“Honestly, Severus, if you need time, you did well,” Narcissa moved her hand to his elbow, patting it gently. “I’m sure he understands that. He seems like a reasonable bloke.”

“More than that,” Snape grunted. “Elías is kind and understanding, he’s patient with me and keeps giving me chances. He took the time to understand the way I work and when I tell him that I don’t want something, he backs off. He – he… he’s _funny_ and he makes me laugh even if I don’t want to and I _hate it_.”

Corban threw his head back and laughed, shaking his head, grinning at his best friend, “No, you don’t. That’s why you went to Cartagena and met his family.”

“He _what_?!” Draco squawked and Greg and Theodore threw themselves on top of him, eyes wide as Narcissa’s chair scraped, the sound ringing.

“DRACO!”

“ _Run!_ ” Greg cried out, the three kids rushing through the halls of the manor as Narcissa began to move to the window, Theodore laughing, feeling warm inside as he thought about how Professor Snape thought the same as him of Fernández.

* * *

Elías found Hogsmeade in a miserable, dark, empty state. He sighed, hand buried in the pockets of his coat, unable to believe that April was so fucking glum here. His feet left prints down the muddy path towards the Shrieking Shack, running into no Dementors, since they’d all been moved around the Hogwarts grounds for the duration of the holidays.

He could’ve perfectly stayed in Cartagena, moping in his room, pondering about Severus this or Severus that but the guilt inside him had stayed for too long. He wasn’t mad at Sirius anymore, or at Severus, or at _anyone_ , really. Elías simply wanted to stop fighting with the few friends he had and actually help them change and grow, instead of letting his emotions get the best of him. He’d done right, calling Severus out, and he hadn’t cried or insulted him which… was an improvement after his fight with Sirius.

Gods, just – every time he thought about that fight, he just felt _miserable_. How the fuck had he just – thrown Regulus’ death at him so easily? Elías had _no idea_ about Regulus. Only that he’d been a Slytherin and he’d died, that he’d been one of Severus’ and Lucius’ best friends… If Severus had known Elías had said that –

“ _Es que soy gilipollas_ ,” Elías sighed, rubbing his nose.

It was time to apologize. Swallow his pride and tell Sirius that he’d wanted to talk in a calmer manner but that his anger had gotten the worst of him. That he was wrong for having said what he said and that now he was willing to have a conversation between adults.

Pulling out his wand as he finally reached the Shack, Elías muttered a soft _aljomora_ and let himself inside, glad for it since rain was starting to fall, his hair and shoulders lightly dusted with a few raindrops. Elías sighed, scuffing his shoes a bit to get rid of the mud before he realized that there was music playing, blinking, surprised. Of course – he’d left Sirius his guitar.

Elías recognized the song pretty quickly, a small smile on his lips as he quietly climbed the stairs, hearing Sirius’ frankly beautiful voice echoing gently through the Shack just as the rain began to beat down on the windows and feeble roof. Elías dodged a few leaks and he leaned over to get closer to the half-opened door where Sirius usually kept himself.

“ _Quietly he laughs and shaking his head - creeps closer now, closer to the foot of the bed…_ ” he heard Sirius’ rendition, voice rough in a way that strangely fit Robert Smith’s dulcet tone. “ _And softer than shadow and quicker than flies, his arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes…_ ”

The guitar was _impeccable_ and Elías let his steps be heard as he walked into the room, making Sirius quickly stop, eyes snapping up. He relaxed a bit when he saw Elías but quickly, hurt took over his eyes and he looked away, lips pursed.

Sirius had cut his hair.

It wasn’t short by any means, not at all, but he’d seemingly trimmed the edges a bit in a… choppy manner, to be polite. At least his hair wasn’t as long and annoying as Elías’ was and he had managed to shave somehow, his face clear of hair. Like this, he looked… his age, really. Just thirty-three. Still young, still vivacious, though he looked miserable in that moment.

“Hi,” Elías murmured, hands tightening in his pockets. “I… that was nice.”

“Hmm,” was all Sirius deigned him with, jaw locking, still watching the wall instead of Elías and the Spaniard swallowed.

“I… came to talk, Sirius,” Elías said, walking forward, arms moving out of his pockets, crossing them slowly.

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you at all,” Sirius replied, giving him a very much not amused look, setting the guitar aside gently.

“Okay,” Elías sighed, nodding, understanding as he turned around, starting to walk out of the room. If Sirius was still angry, was still raw with hurt and needed time, Elías would let him have it. Conversations where emotions still ran high would never amount to their true potential.

So Elías walked out of the room, into the hallway, starting to climb down the stairs when he heard Sirius stand, making him pause.

“Wait – _wait_!” Sirius called, yanking the door open and Elías turned around to look at him, surprised at the sudden change. “I – w-what?”

“What what?” Elías asked, confused.

“You –“ his clothes hung off him, it was one of the few times Elías had seen him in this hallway, standing, barefoot and… very obviously trying to do something to normalize the situation when everything about this was anything _but_ normal. Elías felt horrible about his Azkaban clothes, ripped and holey, about the now scabbing wounds on his feet, about his haggard face and the bags under his eyes. “You’d just leave?”

“Well… yeah,” Elías said quietly, giving a shrug of his shoulder. “You said you don’t want to talk. So we’re not talking. I’ll come by if you do.”

“Just like that?” Sirius said, eyebrows shooting up, his hands falling at his sides, limp.

“Yeah,” Elías replied, watching him through the dim light of the last dregs of sunlight through the clouds in the sky. “Yeah, Sirius, just like that.”

“What’s the catch in this?” Sirius asked, making Elías swallow. “What – did Remus talk to you? Is that it? Whatever he told you, it’s bullshit, I have _never_ cried –“

“Remus and I haven’t spoken since Monday,” Elías interrupted and Sirius’ jaw clicked shut, looking stunned, almost as if slapped. “...I came to apologize, Sirius,” he said softly.

“You _what_?” Sirius’ eyes went wide.

“And, uh,” Elías dug into his bag, pulling out a tupperware full of tortilla de patatas and tuna and tomato sandwiches. “Some dinner, too. You’re probably sick of eating the canned food we left you.”

Sirius seemed absolutely _baffled_ , mouth gaping like a fish underwater, looking between the offerings to Elías then back at the tupper, finally giving a low whine with a sigh. He rubbed his face, shoulders dropping, walls as well and Elías approached a bit, thanking his grandmother for nudging the leftovers of lunch to him before he’d sneaked out of the house.

“I thought you – came for _my_ apology,” Sirius confessed quietly, hand moving to grab the plastic container Elías handed him. “I… I didn’t expect this.”

“I was a dick,” Elías said and Sirius snorted.

“So was I. Huge bloody prick, I’ll tell you that,” Sirius ran a hand through his hair, eyes away from Elías’, looking like he was hurting again, the emotions playing clear across his face. Elías could read him so easily and he moved into the room, putting his bag aside and sitting down on the bed, warming it gently with a wave of his wand and also throwing a quick _reparo_ at a leak on the roof. “…thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Elías replied, giving him a small, tentative smile.

Sirius eventually sat on the bed again, legs crossed, taking in a deep breath and putting his dinner aside, hands falling on his lap, eyes as well. It took a moment before he nodded, looking up at Elías, gesturing at him to start.

“Alright,” the Gryffindor murmured. “Go ahead.”

Elías took a deep breath, playing with the little braid Alba had weaved into his hair, biting his lower lip. “I’m… I’m sorry for the things that I said, Sirius – specifically, I am sorry that I evoked your brother when his… his death had nothing to do with you. And moreso nothing to do with _me_. It was a low blow, one that I dealt because I knew it’d hurt you. Because I _wanted_ to hurt you, and for no other reason. It was vitriolic and… mean. And that’s not the person I want to be,” he murmured, eyes finally lifting to Sirius’ wide greys. “It was inexcusable. I _wanted_ to hurt you. Because you hurt me and you frustrated me but no matter what anyone says… I don’t want to resort to… that kind of talk.”

He took another breath, back going a bit straighter, giving Sirius an honest look, “So I am sorry, Sirius, for what I said about your brother. I’m _deeply_ sorry and I need you to know that I regret it very much. You didn’t deserve it and it’s not true.”

“It’s very much true,” Sirius swallowed and Elías felt his stomach churn as Sirius rubbed his jaw, looking almost melancholic. “It’s fine, Elías. Apology accepted and all that. Shite. It’s the most honest apology I’ve ever gotten. Best one so far.”

“Thanks,” Elías laughed a bit wetly, his eyes still burning a bit. “Uh, I’m used to making them. I’m an impulsive, angry guy.”

“So am I,” Sirius said, wincing. “I… I don’t think you’re bad. And – and you were right that I had luck. That I was able to… walk out. I was in Gryffindor, I wasn’t surrounded by the fucked up thinking of all those pureblood families. I was able to meet James and Remus and…” he sighed deeply, hand running over his features. “And Dorcas and Frank. And Lily and Alice, Mary and Anne. So many people that steered me into a better path than my brother was allowed to take. You were right – you didn’t say it nicely… but you were right.”

“It’s not your fault, though,” Elías murmured, knees pulled to his chest. “Cults are fucking awful. They suck you in and strip you of everything that makes you… _you_.”

“Yeah, they do,” Sirius muttered, looking up at him, swallowing. “Is… is Snape really better?”

“He’s trying to be,” Elías replied, chewing on his lower lip. “He listens to me, when I tell him that he’s being mean or purist. He’s changed a lot since we became friends and… I gave him the benefit of the doubt. And he’s been slowly delivering.”

“What about the rest?” Sirius asked. “Like Cissa? Did – you know Cissa, right?”

“Narcissa, I _know_ her but I don’t… know her the way I do Severus,” Elías told him, making Sirius nod slowly. “But she’s lovely. A bit – she’s sharp. And hounds me for answers and sometimes I feel a bit intimidated. But she’s a delight to me and very often sends me seeds for my garden. She and Lucius love Draco very much.”

“I saw Draco in the Quidditch matches,” Sirius murmured. “He’s… he’s big now.”

“Very much so. Shorter than Harry, though, which angers him,” Elías laughed, making Sirius chuckle.

“Oh, I saw how he tried to disrupt the Quidditch game,” he rolled his eyes. “Fucking git. He flirts like a Black more than a Malfoy.”

“Of course he does,” Elías giggled, shaking his head a bit before the two fell silent for a moment, the only sound the faint thunder outside. Elías wondered if it was raining in the lake as well, wondered if Remus and Lyall were watching it fall from the sky.

“I’m sorry, Elías,” Sirius finally said, making Elías look up. “For insulting you. For – being cruel to you. And not even listening to what you had to say, I was – I was picking a fight cause I felt cooped up and – and it was unfair to you and Remus and –“

“It’s okay,” Elías reached over to pat his knee, eyes soft. “I understand. We both let it get out of hand. I accept your apology, Sirius.”

Sirius looked down at Elías’ hand on his knee and swallowed before his arms moved around the Spaniard, pulling him in for an apology hug, which Elías was startled by for about a split second – pretty soon he was embracing Sirius back, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, good,” he mumbled into Sirius’ shoulder. “You’re a touchy person, too.”

“I sure am,” Sirius laughed, letting Elías go, the two sighing in unison with the lift of guilt and burdens from their chests. “Remus was right.”

“W – wait, what?” Elías stared.

“He said you’d want to apologize before the holidays were over,” he explained, making Elías feel a sense of… something burn in his chest, warmth spreading around him. “Said that you’d feel bad about it and would come to… well, apologize.”

“He knows me, I suppose,” Elías looked down at his lap, cheeks a bit colored but the darkness of the room wasn’t enough to hide it, Sirius watching Elías with a slowly forming smirk.

“That he does,” he hummed, letting his elbow rest on his knee and his chin on his hand. “So… you two.”

“Nope. No. Nein. _Niet_ ,” Elías told him, shaking his head hard.

“Aw, come _on_. There’s obviously something there,” he nudged Elías.

“Oh, trust me, there is _nothing_ ,” Elías laughed sarcastically. “If there was, it’s like – a very, very sad plant. With brown leaves. You’re trying to water it but – it’s dead, Sirius, it’s _dead_.”

“May… I ask what happened to it?” Sirius blinked.

“That was an awful metaphor,” Elías sighed, rubbing his cheek. “What happened is that I like Remus, _obviously_ , since everyone _fucking knows_ because I’m that obvious. But Remus is really, really not into me that way. I actually think he thinks of me like… a child, sometimes,” Elías grunted, eyes closing. “A bunch of things happened. I confessed, he rejected me politely. He kissed me out of… frustration and loneliness or whatever and then told me it’d been a mistake and he hadn’t meant it. It was a shitshow, honestly,” he mumbled, looking over at Sirius who looked very much boggled. “Now we’re very much _just friends_ , alright?”

“He _kissed you_? He didn’t tell me,” Sirius looked a bit miffed.

“Remus very much regrets that,” Elías said dryly. “It was something that hurt me. A lot. And I don’t enjoy being… pushed and pulled around on a string. I’m not going to hang off Remus waiting for him to suddenly feel the same towards me. I’m gonna keep moving with my life and if he doesn’t fancy me, it’s not the end of the world,” he rolled his eyes.

“Huh. That’s – a very refreshing take,” Sirius leaned back, hands behind him, smirking a bit. “Have you moved on with anyone?”

“Nah,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “Not at all. I’m not that type of guy.”

“Alright, alright,” Sirius chuckled a bit and Elías brushed his hair back again when it got into his eyes. “I have yet to apologize to Remus.”

“About Monday?” Elías asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I was… angry. He told me that I was right to be upset but that I also acted like a complete wanker,” Sirius huffed a bit with laughter. “Fuck, I told him I wouldn’t apologize to you. He’d be proud of us.”

“I s’ppose,” Elías chuckled a bit, tiredly resting his chin on his knees. “Could… could I ask how it was?”

“Hmm?” Sirius looked up at Elías, confused as to what he was talking about.

“Living… in a pureblood family,” Elías said softly and Sirius watched him for a moment, reading over his features, trying to see what Elías wanted. “I know next to nothing about it,” he explained, sighing. “I’m super muggleborn. _Super_ muggleborn. Almost muggle, really. And like… I’ve all these kids in my class that struggle a lot with this type of thing, the expectations of it, the… relentless pressure. I know pressure and I know about expectations but not in the way they do. These kids trust me, Sirius, and I want to be able to help them.”

“Well, for starters, you can’t,” Sirius told him, Elías wanting to roll his eyes. If he _could_ , he _would_. “No, no, _listen to me_ ,” he hissed at Elías, making the Slytherin sober up a bit as he saw his greys expressive and honest. “Those kids grown up with these ideas in their head. Unless you get them out of it when they’re young, they’re fucking doomed, you know? My brother wasn’t always a purist, wasn’t always… like that,” he sighed, rubbing his face. “Mother talked about the Dark Lord this, the Dark Lord that and Regulus and I would snicker and say that she’d lost her head. But then he was sorted into Slytherin and… it all changed. We couldn’t laugh things off anymore, you know?” he rubbed the back of his neck, checking on the inside of his cheek.

“You got along with your brother?” Elías asked softly. “Before, I mean.”

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Sirius laughed a bit. “You know how little brothers are –“

“ _I_ am a little brother,” Elías nudged him and Sirius looked surprised at him.

“Oh, your sister is the older one?”

“Yeah.”

“Hell. I thought it was backwards,” he said, then paused. “Well, having a little brother is… you care for him. But you tease and pick on him a bit, mainly because it’s fun at first to watch him fume. Then he gets hurt and you feel bad but… your pride’s in on it too, you know?”

Elías was quiet, thinking of Elena, nodding slowly, “Was your pride on it, too?”

“With Reggie? For sure,” Sirius looked over at the window, soaked with rainwater. “I mean, it was the elephant in the room. That and, uh… well,” he winced. “My parents.”

Elías said nothing, not wanting to pry more but Sirius seemed as open as Elías about his family trauma, so when the Gryffindor turned to him and continued to speak, Elías kept listening.

“I was… not the greatest son,” Sirius said slowly.

“Tends to happen when you’re not a blood purist,” Elías said dryly.

“No, no, _beyond_ purism,” Sirius replied. “It was, uh… well, I look a lot like my father, I guess. I’m not as pale as Reggie was, not as delicate-looking. And when I turned out to be this… tornado of a kid, unable to sit down for more than ten minutes and unable to focus and learn things quick, Regulus was kind of a blessing on them,” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his mouth. “My mother loved Regulus. She _loved_ Regulus more than anyone else she’d ever loved. He was her little sprout and I was a thorn on her side. And because I’m _me_ , I decided that I’d be even more of a nuisance on them. _Forever_.”

“I can relate to that,” Elías murmured and Sirius turned to him, staring. “My uh, sister is overly competent in everything she does. She was popular, social, perfect grades, perfect group of friends that she always brought home. Pretty, thin, never had issues at school… she was just… you know, perfect,” he shrugged. “And then uh, there was me. And I’m fucking queer, dude, I’m _so_ queer. I was fat, I liked reading, everyone hated me at school and I was awful at school. Well, not at first but… later on I really slacked. I was just a big disappointment to my parents, who always threw me a bone. I just couldn’t catch it, you know?”

“The – the whole _oh, you’re so smart_ when you’re six and then when you’re thirteen you’re suddenly flunking everything because you feel no passion or challenge to the things given to you?” Sirius continued, making Elías nod quickly, eyes wide. “Or shit, just – being unable to focus? Feeling like – feeling like if you don’t get it the first time –“

“- then you’re automatically bad at it and you won’t ever be able to do it,” Elías nodded, chest tight, eyes burning. “…yeah, I – know how that feels.”

“Shite, I guess you do,” Sirius laughed a bit, brushing some black hair behind his ear, swallowing. “So you were the disappointment child, too, huh?”

“You’ve _no_ idea how much,” Elías breathed, looking away from the other man, the two of them too open to continue eye contact. “So… you weren’t what they wanted.”

“Never was. Which – well, it allowed me to look at everything they said critically?” Sirius leaned back against the wall, watching the ceiling as thunder rolled in the background. “…I doubted everything they said. Because I knew if I listened to them for too long, I’d… feel inadequate. And sad. And I wanted anything but.”

“What about – what about after Hogwarts?” Elías asked, arms moving around his knees. “Did it get better for you?”

“At Hogwarts, yeah,” Sirius chuckled a bit. “At home it was _hell_.”

Elías glanced over at him, his arms stretching over his head, toes pointed before shaking his head like a dog, making Elías smile a bit while Sirius sat up, looking at the Slytherin.

“Could you cut my hair?” he asked and Elías nodded. “Not too much, uh… just a tad. I don’t want it short, just – just to have something proper, yeah?”

“Alright, tell me the length – where did you put the –“

“Here, here you go –“

“Thanks.”

“Do you want me to –“

“No, no, just – well, a bit to the side, just sit here –“

“Alright –“

“There. There you go,” Elías smiled a bit, Sirius’ back to him, the man sitting on the floor so Elías would have a bit of height as he began to run a comb through his hair. “You know, when Remus and Severus told me about like, the importance of hair in wizarding society, I expected brushing someone’s hair to be suuuuper inappropriate and intimate or something.”

“It is,” Sirius said, amused, making Elías freeze. “You’re a muggleborn, angek, it’s _fine_. I understand that it doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“I – but – are you sure –“ Elías was flushing a bit, hand frozen on one of Sirius’ locks. It was nice and thick, his hair, even if it was extremely knotted and a bit greasy. Elías knew a spell for that one and was already reaching for his wand.

“You’re not braiding it, are you?” Sirius laughed. “It’s alright, angel, truly. Braiding is the truly, like, intimate thing so – angel?”

Elías was covering his face, feeling it _burn_ , his mind on Severus and his gentle hands as he pulled Elías’ hair in a swift, beautiful braid with his own fingers, even giving him a pretty thing to tie it off. Elías hadn’t known, he hadn’t _know_ , but had it been intimate to Severus? Had it been – had it been _romantic_?

“What the hell has got you like that?” Sirius laughed loudly, watching Elías melt into a little puddle of embarrassment, his blue eyes wide.

“ _Someone braided my hair_ ,” he squeaked and Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “Some – someone who _really knows_ t-these traditions and I – oh, I’m such an _idiot_ , I’m going to die, I’m dying – Sirius, this is the end of me. How the _fuck_ was I such an idiot –“

“Did you ask them for a braid?” Sirius asked, amused, smirking at the Slytherin.

“ _No_! Oh, _Gods_ , thank fuck I didn’t ask him for a braid,” Elías breathed, hands over his face. “I can’t look him in the eye now – how intimate is it? How – how romantic is it? Are we breaching consent right here in wizarding culture? Am I like, an idiot?”

“If he knows you’re a muggleborn, it’s probably not a big deal,” Sirius snickered, watching Elías freak out. “But it’s usually something saved for spouses? And before that, for family. Someone who’s not your family is just… sort of indecent, if done in public,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “But that’s only if you’re old fashioned.”

Elías dropped on the bed, on his front, screaming into the mattress and Sirius laughed loudly, enjoying the state of the Slytherin.

“I’m going to die of embarrassment. Right here, right now,” he gasped, thinking of Severus and his godsdamn habit of not making a big deal out of _big deals_. “I can’t believe it. I’m a fool. I’m booboo the fool. Watch me jingle miserably back home and overthink this for the rest of my life.”

“Was this guy a pureblood?” Sirius asked, cocking an eyebrow. “…one of your uh, friends?”

“I’m not going to fucking answer, Sirius, because knowing you, the moment you’re free, you’re going to publicly embarrass me and take sadistic pleasure in it,” Elías growled, sitting up as Sirius gave him a mischievous look with wiggling eyebrows. “Turn around. I’m going to cut your fucking hair, asshole.”

“That instills so much calmness in me,” Sirius laughed, finally giving Elías his back and grinning wide. “It’s fine, Elías, it’s an old thing that practically nobody cares about.”

“Do you?” Elías asked and Sirius paused.

“No,” he lied, very obviously and Elías wrapped his hand around Sirius’ mane and pulled gently, making him gasp.

“You sure?” Elías asked cheekily.

“Joke’s on you, I’m into hair pulling,” Sirius smirking, trying to make him uncomfortable.

“Joke’s on you, so am I,” Elías laughed loudly, making Sirius snort but the two fell quiet as Elías tapped the top of Sirius’ head with his wand and cleaned it swiftly, putting his wand away with a little hum. Slowly, he began to brush Sirius’ hair with patience, finding it so tangled that it took effort.

“It… does matter to me,” Sirius finally said, making Elías’ eyebrows shoot up. “It was… it was the only thing I enjoyed doing with my mother.”

Elías said nothing, blinking at the back of Sirius’ head, swallowing a bit. Apparently today Sirius was unburdening himself. Good. Maybe it’d help him out and if Elías could help, he would listen. He would be an open ear for Sirius.

“Vietnam is more particular about wizarding hair, both men and women,” Sirius explained quietly. “She didn’t explicitly say it was Vietnamese, what she taught me, but… I knew it was because I’d never seen that style of braiding before. She… did mine. I could never replicate it, they were so complex, so small, entwined into one another…”

Sirius trailed off for a moment and Elías felt a bit of chest pain at the thought of Walburga only being able to share her culture through that one tiny thing – hair.

“What about clothes?” Elías asked softly. “Did she dress –“

“No,” Sirius cut him off gently. “No, she never – she never wore her áo dài. I know she had it, it was hidden in the closet of Regulus’ room. I found it and Regulus told me to leave it alone, we had a big fight about it. That was when I was… thirteen, I think?”

“Did she ever talk about Vietnam?” Elías could now run the brush along Sirius’ hair without a single problem and he blinked for a moment, astounded at how beautiful it was, how dark and shiny and thick it was. Sirius had incredible hair.

“No, never,” Sirius shook his head. “She just – she just pretended she was British.”

Elías winced, “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Sirius rubbed his cheek. “I’m pretty sure I look more like my father’s family than my mother’s family. I guess that’s why she hated me so much.”

Elías let out a soft breath, “Hate is a strong word, Sirius.”

“Mmm, it is,” Sirius murmured. “But a lot happened in that house. Grimmauld Place. I haven’t been there since I was sixteen.”

“Remus told me you left home?” Elías said softly.

“Left? Nah, they kicked me out,” Sirius laughed and Elías imagined for a moment how it’d feel for him if his parents had kicked him out. “Cause they found out I’m bi, so –“

“Oh, _nooo_ ,” Elías groaned. “Biphobic, too?”

“Just plain ole homophobic,” Sirius nodded and Elías sighed.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. That must’ve been hell,” he told the Gryffindor quietly.

“I’m used to being a disappointment, angel, it’s nothing,” he laughed, giving a shrug. “You can play music, right? Remus told me you can play like, full-fledged songs?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, starting to part his hair so he could cut it right, using pincers. He’d done this before many times in college with his friends. Long hair was so much easier than short hair. “Do you want me to play something?”

“Yeah,” Sirius seemed to smile a bit.

“Alright,” Elías smiled back, just as gently. “Is there anything particular that you want?”

“Remus says you’ve got a good music taste,” Sirius told him, making Elías feel a bit warm with happiness. “Why don’t you show me a song I’ve never heard before?”

“One you’ve never heard, huh?” Elías laughed a bit, finally taking the scissors after wetting his hair with another tap of his wand. Sirius pulled his knees to his chest, nodding, looking straight at the window in front of both of them.

“One that’s… could it be softer?” Sirius asked and Elías shifted a bit so he could look at Sirius’ face, saw his eyes closing, his toes curling over the ruined wood underneath him. “One that doesn’t make sense when you first hear it. But you feel it.”

Elías knew exactly what he meant and he took a look at the rain, then at the Gryffindor, nodding to himself, the sound of a single guitar starting to play, no other instrument to bother it, the only other sounds in the Shrieking Shack being the quiet _snip_ of the scissors on Sirius’ hair and the pounding of the rain, faint rolling of thunder in the back.

“ _Someday, my pain_...” a strange, pitched voice rang out and immediately, Sirius’ shoulders seemed to sink and his body relaxed. “ _Someday, my pain will mark you. Harness your blame…_ ”

Elías said nothing, didn’t sing along the way he usually would, rather keeping quiet and letting this artist from a distant future sing out to the both of them. Elías had a lot of songs from him.

“ _With the wild wolves arooound… you_ …”

Sirius breathed slower, quieter, to the point where Elías thought for a moment that he’d fallen asleep but the way Sirius’ fingers moved showed him otherwise.

“ _In the mor-ning I’ll call you. Send it farther on._ ”

Elías didn’t sing but he mouthed along to the lyrics. He gently pulled away one of the pincers and let Sirius’ hair gently fall, working it with the comb to get it down and start snipping again while silence took over in the song for a second.

“ _Solace, my game…_ ” more voices joined this time, right next to the main singer’s, the same voice. “ _Solace, my game, it stars you. Swing wide, your crane… swing wide, your crane and run me through…_ ”

Sirius gave a soft sigh and Elías wished he could look at his face but he kept the focus on Sirius’ hair, not his expression. Sirius had said enough to him tonight – his curiosity did not matter, not when it had to do with very delicate things that Sirius either held at arm’s length or heart’s length.

“ _And the story's all over you… In the morning I'll call you. Can’t you fiiind a clue? When your eyes are all painted Sinatra blue…_ ”

The guitar was still along but the strumming got a bit more consistent, just as soft, Sirius melted a bit against Elías’ knees as the Spaniard worked on the next later of his hair after evoking a few light orbs to see better, the night fully upon them both within this rundown shack.

“ _What might’ve been lost…_ ” the singer rasped and Elías felt Sirius breathe out for a moment before singing along quietly. “ _What might’ve been lost…_ ”

“ _What might have been lost…_ ” Sirius echoed and his voice was _beautiful_ , Elías felt moved and envious at the same time, his own voice in shambles since he’d started testosterone. But Sirius sang flawlessly. “ _What might’ve been lost…_ ”

“ _Don’t bother me_ ,” Elías echoed in the same way as the song as the percussion began to roll in, a mess of it, sounding more like fireworks than drums, lightning lighting up the rooms for a split second as Sirius and Elías sang softly together. “ _Don’t booother mee…_ ”

“ _What might’ve been lost,_ ” Sirius sang.

“ _Don’t boooother… mee…_ ”

“ _What might’ve been lo-ost – what might’ve been –“_

 _“Dooon’t – bother_ me,”

The drums echoed and Elías and Sirius sand out the ending of the song as Elías finished his hair, feeling his eyes burn for no reason, wondering if Sirius’ eyes burned as well. The so soft guitar from before started to fade, leaving only the leftover drums, Elías’ hands leaving Sirius’ hair, now four inches or so lower than his shoulders.

“That’s done,” Elías said quietly, brushing the hair out of his lap but Sirius’ head fell back, watching Elías upside down, making the Slytherin paused. “…you okay?”

“That was nice,” Sirius muttered, giving him a lopsided smile. “Who was it?”

“I don’t know,” Elías laughed quietly. “Wish I knew. I’ve heard a lot of their songs, though. They’re… very raw. Very beautiful. I’ve got a couple of their lyrics tattooed.”

“You do?” Sirius sat up, bits of his own hair sticking to his back and Elías would’ve cleaned it if Sirius hadn’t turned around, watching Elías. “Show me?”

“R – right now?” Elías blinked.

“Yeah! Show me? Please?” Sirius said and Elías laughed a bit.

“Alright, alright,” Elías nodded, reaching down for the collar of his shirt and pulling it down a bit, trying not to stretch his tee as he revealed the ink over his collarbone in typewriter letter, next to the tentacles and the waves.

“ _I move in water, shore to shore_ ,” Sirius read, blinking. “That’s it?”

“The whole song is great,” Elías shrugged, using his wand to get rid of all the cut hair and pulling Sirius’ hair over his shoulder, smiling. “Looks good. Healthier.”

Sirius looked down, touching the tips, nodding slowly before smiling up at Elías, “Thanks, angel. This… this is much nicer.”

“You’re welcome,” Elías replied, honest, starting to put it all away into the little bag for all his hair stuff, thinking of the person who’d given it to him, just for a second. He hadn’t thought about Miki in a while.

“I don’t know why I told you all that stuff about my family,” Sirius moved back to the bed, laying down, arms behind his head and eyes a bit wide. “We… barely know each other.”

“I’ve that effect on people,” Elías shrugged, now used to it. “Honestly, don’t worry about it. If you want me to tell no one, I won’t tell anyone. Simple as that.”

“Really?” Sirius frowned. “Secrets… they’re currency.”

“A cruel one,” Elías murmured, swallowing a bit. “I’m not willing to use them.”

“I thought you’d be a certain way,” Sirius spoke up, making Elías look at him over his shoulder, a bit startled. Sirius was watching him with a frown. “But you’re really not what I expected.”

“You mean of a Slytherin,” Elías said and Sirius quickly looked away. “Am I right?”

“Yeah, of course you’re right,” Sirius sighed. “…sorry.”

Elías just shrugged, not wanting another fight. He was too tired, suddenly, and he wanted to do nothing more than to go back home, find his father half-asleep on the couch watching a documentary on TV and join him on the other couch.

“I should get back to Cartagena,” Elías told him and Sirius made a face. “Sorry. It’s getting late and I don’t wanna worry anyone. There’s a chimney by the train station but if I take it too late, el Mercado de Arena may close and I won’t be able to get back.”

“Alright,” Sirius sat up, looking over at the dinner Elías had brought him before looking at the Slytherin. “Thank you,” he repeated.

“Don’t mention it,” the other wizard stood and Sirius followed him out to the door, down the stairs, glancing at the angry, rainy sky as Elías paused on the doorstep, casting an umbrella charm.

“I… don’t mean the food or the haircut,” Sirius said and Elías watched him, not wanting to say anything stupid, letting him speak. “Thank you for listening. And thank you for the song. It was… lovely.”

“It was,” Elías agreed quietly, finding himself going for a hug, arms around Sirius’ waist, sighing. “Take care. Don’t do anything crazy. If you go outside, make sure it’s at least with Crookshanks or you’ve got an escape plan, okay?”

“You got it, angel,” Sirius replied quietly before letting him go, Elías stepping back and realizing just how much he didn’t want to leave.

He wanted to stay. He wanted to talk with Sirius all night. He wanted to share songs that made him feel sad and happy at the same time, knowing that Sirius would understand. He wanted to know just how much Remus was right, how Sirius he and Sirius were. Had he also felt lonely, his entire life inside a house that made the walls close in on him at night? Had he ever fallen asleep sobbing hard into his pillows, eyes wide, dreaming of leaving everything behind and running as far away as he could?

Had that resentment that he’d felt from his family as a child turned into self-hatred? Had that self-hatred been as good and satisfying and morally right as it’d felt for Elías? Had he wallowed in his misery and thrived in it and been more productive whenever he would focus on finishing things just before he killed himself? Had he ever thought about the best way to kill himself so that his parents wouldn’t pay for a funeral but would know for certain that he was dead so they’d be able to move on?

“Angel?” Sirius asked, surprised as Elías breathed a bit hard, staring at Sirius. “Is – is everything –“

“Have to go,” Elías murmured, turning around and walking out of the Shack into the rain, needing his father, needing his family, feeling his throat close up with anxiety and the telltale sludge of intrusive thoughts.

He didn’t know how but Sirius always brought these extreme emotions within him. Want and need and anger and sadness and happiness and the wish for someone to finally understand. To not even have to… say it out loud, the way he had to explain to Severus or Remus, how he felt. Sirius had taken words out of his mouth, had sang along and known how Elías had felt.

Elías knew it, he knew it somehow, heart in his throat as he arrived in Cartagena, rain gone and breeze cold enough to make him keep his jacket. He saw Sirius’ open grey eyes whenever he closed his own and, nearing the rented home, he rubbed his eyes hard, trying to stop crying. He didn’t know _why_ he was crying, either – he wasn’t tired or sad or anything, it had just been… intrusive thoughts.

“Eli?”

Elías startled, turning his head and seeing his sister smoking on her own, making dread rise up his throat. He didn’t need this right now. He didn’t need –

“Hey,” she murmured, standing, stomping on her just lit cigarette, moving closer to Elías and putting her hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? What’s going on? You look –“

Elías choked, arms moving around her, face pressing to her neck and Elena hugged him back tightly, smelling of smoke and that vanilla perfume she loved and saltwater. It was familiar and stupidly comforting as Elías sobbed quietly.

“What happened? Why are you in so late? Are you – did that guy do something? I’ll fucking _kill him_ ,” she hissed, pulling away to cup his face, looking at his eyes, her own bright blues scanning Elías’ blotchy face. “What happened?”

“Just – e-emotional,” Elías sobbed, rubbing his face. “H-he didn’t d-do anything, w-was just called i-in for something imp-portant,” he lied smoothly. “I – I just feel awful for n-no reason, is a-all…”

“Yeah?” Elena frowned, hand sliding to his shoulder, the other to his hair, ruffling it gently, making Elías melt a bit, feel safer, feel much better. “Shit. Alright. Are you taking meds right now?"

Elías shook his head, sniffling.

“Okay,” she sighed, looking over at the house before picking up her lighter from the stone she’d been sitting on, pocketing it, starting to walk with a hand moving to Elías’. “Let’s go to the beach. Come on. I’ve got a new artist to show you and I think I can play it the way you do.”

“Is it Spanish?” Elías sniffled, rubbing his nose.

“Nah, French,” Elena smiled a bit as Elías scrunched up his nose. “Don’t be a dick, Eli.”

“Alright,” Elías murmured, hand on Elena’s, thinking of the way Sirius had spoken so quietly of Regulus, how he seemed to miss him so terribly despite their awful relationship.

Elías’ hand tightened on Elena’s. And he didn’t let go all night.


	56. Daniel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *claps hands together* my French is AWFUL and I admit that wholeheartedly, alright? I live in Belgium and STILL, I haven't learned French. Sue me.
> 
> Songs in this Chapter:  
> \- AUATC by Bon Iver  
> These are not mentioned but pretend they're playing as they talk, yeah?  
> \- Lump Sum by Bon Iver  
> \- The Only Thing by Sufjan Stevens  
> \- Sara by Fleetwood Mac  
> \- The Load-Out by Jackson Browne
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this chapter:  
> \- Discussion of depression  
> \- Mention of Hope Lupin  
> \- Mention of ludopathy  
> \- Very mild mention of cancer

Remus had just arrived from his grocery run and was putting them on the fridge when his father, watching from the living room couch, put down his newspaper and stated, “Remus, my boy, are you going to pretend today as well that you’re not dating Elías?”

The werewolf, who had chosen that exact moment to take a sip of the cool glass of water sitting on the counter, _choked_ , eyes wide, coughing wildly, nearly dropping the glass to the floor. Instead, he slammed the glass on the counter and turned to his father, scandalized, “ _Dad!_ ”

“What?” he didn’t look amused, giving him two raised eyebrows. “I’m old, Remus, but not _senile_. You think you’re fooling me?”

“Dad, there is _nothing_ there,” Remus groaned, rubbing his face, looking away from his father’s eyes. “The bloke is _twenty-two!_ ”

“So?” Lyall blinked. “You two seem awful close for not having anything there, huh?”

“We’re just good friends,” Remus flushed, feeling his ears burn, taking the vegetables and starting to put them away. “He’s uh, a Spaniard, you know? Touchy-feely and all that, the way southern Europeans are.”

“Right,” Lyall cocked an eyebrow. “That’s why you’ve been talking nonstop about him.”

“I… have I?” Remus felt embarrassment wash over him and did not look at Lyall, who was smirking under his moustache. “I haven’t,” he quickly added, then paused. “ _Have I_?”

He stared at the wall of the kitchen before turning to his father, swallowing hard, eyes wide as he felt his heart in his throat. Had he? He knew he’d mentioned Elías a couple of times, had spoken about how the man had a fight with one of Remus’ friends – didn’t mention Sirius, of course – and how Elías had probably already apologized, because that was the way the Spaniard worked.

He – well, Remus had also spoken about Harry and how Elías had helped him out, too. And he’d talked about the TriWizard Tournament that was coming and… how Elías was Spanish but hadn’t gone to Altavista. And –

Fuck. He’d been talking non-stop about Elías.

“Shit,” he whispered, eyes closing, rubbing his face as his father sighed and patted the couch, inviting Remus to sit. The werewolf miserably put the last of the vegetables inside the fridge and walked to the living room, sitting down with a sigh. “Alright, there – is nothing but perhaps, I… feel something.”

“So you two are not together?” Lyall blinked, surprised.

“If we were, I would’ve told you,” Remus confessed, making Lyall relax softly, giving his son a smile. “ _Dad_. I wouldn’t hide that from you…”

“Well, if you did… well, it’s _alright_ ,” Lyall moved a hand to pat his son’s knee. “I understand that you’re a very private person, Remus, yes? I wouldn’t want to force you to. I was thinking that you two were together already, with the way I saw you two all… cuddled up as I picked my bags. Hands on each other. Staring at each other,” he snorted a bit as Remus blushed hard, leaning back on the couch and hiding his face with both hands.

“Merlin, _no_ , it’s not –“ he groaned again. “Dad, truly, we don’t… it’s really not…”

“What? Complicated?” Lyall guessed and Remus nodded. “Does he have a boyfriend already?”

Remus thought immediately of Severus, of the overprotection that came from him and the way Elías smiled whenever the potions professor was mentioned.

“Not yet,” Remus mumbled. “But… well, he –“ he sighed, peeking at his father from his arm, chewing on his lower lip. “I’m a bit of a fool, dad.”

“You pushed him away, didn’t you?” Lyall sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose when Remus nodded slowly. “…how much?”

“A lot,” Remus murmured. “A _lot_.”

“What does a lot mean?” Lyall asked softly, looking at his son with worry.

“He… confessed to me,” Remus said slowly. “And I rejected him. Completely. Made – made him think I did not return his feelings at all. Then… then I kissed him, later on because it was so close to the full moon and I –“ he swallowed, eyes burning. “And I quickly backtracked and told him that I… just felt lonely.”

“ _Remus!_ ” his father exclaimed, scandalized.

“I know, I _know_ ,” Remus quickly said, shame running over him, hands in his hair. “It was a horrible thing to do, it was – it was cruel, I _know_.”

“What I don’t understand, son, is _why_ you would reject him!” Lyall told him, slapping his shoulder as Remus’ stomach churned a bit, pursing his lips. “No… don’t tell me it’s because he doesn’t know –“

“Oh, he knows,” Remus laughed, eyes a bit wide. “Merlin, he knows. He’s… he’s helped me almost every morning after since I joined the faculty.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Lyall put his newspaper away on the coffee table, watching his son worriedly. “Is it the age gap?”

“No, it’s… it’s not the age gap, dad,” Remus sighed, eyes on the carpet, his shoulders sinking. “You’ve seen him. You’ve seen… how he looks, how he talks, how bright he is.”

“I have,” Lyall replied gently, hand moving to rest on Remus’ shoulder. “He makes you very happy, doesn’t he?”

“He makes me incredibly happy and incredibly angry at the same time,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Good Godric, he’s a mess, I’ll admit. Doesn’t know what he wants in life, is just fumbling about. He’s already firing his wand before he’s thought of which spell and he’s trigger-happy with important decisions. Elías is… passionate about the people he cares about, maybe to a fault. And he often gets into other people’s business with the intent to help, even when it doesn’t concern him. He’s temperamental and nosy and loud and –“ he swallowed, sighing. “- and he doesn’t deserve an ugly, scarred werewolf to drag him down, dad.”

“Don’t talk about my son like that,” Lyall said fiercely, hand moving to grip Remus’ jaw, forcing him to look at Lyall, Remus’ greens shiny. “Do _not_. He is my son. He’s my _boy_. I raised him to be a good man and despite all odds, despite how the world has treated him, he’s always tried to act with kindness and thoughtfulness.”

“I don’t feel kind and thoughtful, dad,” Remus croaked and Lyall’s face turned into a brief mask of pain as Remus swallowed down the knot in his throat. “I just feel tired.”

Lyall gave a soft sigh, standing and walking over to sit on the couch next to him instead of the comfortable armchair, Remus resting his elbows on his arms as Lyall gave him his full attention, turning fully to his son, hand running through Remus’ blond hair.

“Do you remember that really, really bad storm that happened back in Cardiff? When we lived in Wales? You were seven years old and the full moon had been just a few days back. Do you remember?”

“I… no,” Remus confessed quietly, frowning as he looked at his father.

“Well, there was a proper storm brewing that day and your mother and I warned you to stay inside,” Lyall explained, hand on Remus’ back. “Hope was a bit scared, she never liked thunder, and when it began to just flash and crash around us, she went to the couch and wrapped herself up in a blanket. It was only five in the afternoon but the sky was dark enough to look like the night. Your mother was crying.”

Remus said nothing, watching Lyall, soaking in all that he could about his mother.

“When I went to check on you, I discovered that you were gone,” Lyall sighed a bit. “We searched through the entire house but you were gone. Your mother nearly had a heart attack and you gave me such a fright that I still feel palpitations whenever I think of it!”

“Sorry,” Remus gave a small smile, knowing it didn’t mean much, almost two decades later but it made his father chuckle a bit.

“You know where we found you?” he asked softly.

“Where?” Remus wanted to know.

“At the nearest store, getting your mother some ice cream, because you knew that when was sad, she ate some,” Lyall said, making Remus grow quiet, simply staring, his chest tight. “You loved your mother so much that you walked under the rain, through the wind, past thunder and all the little things that scared you… just so she wouldn’t be scared.”

Remus rubbed at his eyes, feeling moisture in the back of his hand, unable to speak, throat too tight. He missed his mother. He felt it so much, so tightly, that hole in his chest whenever he thought of her smile, of her eyes, of the way her hands had held his shoulders, the hugs she’d give him. He could remember that well but he hadn’t remembered that storm. It hadn’t mattered to him, surely, if he couldn’t remember. But it’d probably meant a lot to his parents.

“Remus, you’re the most selfless man I’ve ever known,” Lyall told him, his hand cupping his son’s jaw, eyes pained. “And I fear that… that in my effort to instill safety within your environment as a child, I’ve only managed to make you afraid.”

“Dad –“ Remus choked, trying to counter it but Lyall kept speaking.

“I fear that I was too harsh on you. Told you to stay away from kids, from everyone who could find out about your condition. I only wanted to protect you but…” he sighed, ashamed. “I see now that I only managed to alienate you from the things you needed – friends. Romance. Intimacy – not just sex, son, I’m – I’m talking about allowing yourself to feel close to someone. The way I see you and that lad, Elías, could be.”

“I’m not a saint, dad,” Remus told him in a thread of voice.

“Oh, I know, son, I know that well,” Lyall told him, his hand sliding to grip Remus’, squeezing tightly. “I know your faults well. And I’m not telling you that this… self-sacrificing, humility bollocks is right. It isn’t. We are not at war, Remus. The war is over.”

“Not inside me,” Remus whispered.

“Well, it’s time for you to put your wand down,” Lyall chided, his tone one of authority and love. The tone of a father. “If that man likes you and you like him and you two are happy, what’s the rest matter? Not at all, I say.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Remus laughed quietly, wiping away a few stray tears. “It’s… another man in his life, whom he is… very happy about. And I’m glad for it, because Elías deserves it. Whatever I could do, well, it’s – ship has sailed, I’m afraid.”

“They’re not together yet, though, are they?” Lyall cocked an eyebrow and Remus nudged him with a knee.

“Is this because you want grandchildren?” Remus asked, trying to lighten the tone but Lyall gave him a kind smile under his moustache.

“No,” he said gently, standing from the couch. “It’s because I want you to stop running away from the things that scare you and I want you to be happy. That is all.” He stretched a bit and patted Remus’ head gently. “I’m going to take a shower before Elías arrives but it’d do you well to think about sacrifice and why it’s no longer sacrifice when it’s hurting more than just you. Unnecessarily.”

Remus looked away, slightly uncomfortable, his chest tight. So not only was Snape calling him a coward, so was his father. What a Gryffindor he was.

As his father left, Remus was left alone in the living room to ponder about what his father had said, to think of the way that, in his effort of pushing Elías away for his own good, he’d hurt him. Remus maintained that he was doing the right thing, he _knew_ he was. Remus was an old dog; he couldn’t learn new tricks, not by now. He was sad and tired and cursed and Elías had his entire life ahead of him. It wasn’t the age gap, it was the _age gap_. It was how, when Remus had been twenty-two, he’d already… given up. He’d given up for so long, getting by as a ghost that he didn’t know how to be human anymore.

He… Elías made him feel alive. But Remus couldn’t give him his all, that part was long gone from Remus’ life. Hopes and dreams that had been crushed, his mischief that so rarely showed up now. He felt like he was just going through the notions, day by day. And yes, even though Elías had been a wonderful addition to his life, even though Sirius was back and was innocent and was willing to let Remus hide inside his shell… Remus still felt _empty_.

The werewolf stood, hand rubbing over his jaw, noticing how his stubble was growing a bit wild but too tired to actually climb upstairs and take care of it. Elías wouldn’t mind – shit, _Elías_.

He hadn’t spoken to Elías since the disaster fight on Monday. And he didn’t know what to do about it, if Elías hadn’t apologized yet. He was sure he would’ve but… what if he’d been busy? Or what if he was still angry? Sirius had used that insult at the end of the fight knowing that Elías used an American accent, that the word was probably stronger to him than to the Gryffindors but… Elías had also been wrong to use Regulus against Sirius.

He felt conflicted – and worst of all, he was only starting to think of solutions when the doorbell rang, making him curse under his breath, looking down at his plain shirt and hanging suspenders, grunting. He was a mess. But whatever, Elías had seen him in worse –

Remus opened the door, mouth opening to greet Elías when he realized that Elías wasn’t alone. He blinked, surprised at the little boy he saw in Elías’ hip, his face a bit blotchy from crying but pretty dry by now. Elías looked all kinds of apologetic already, face pinched a bit.

“Hey,” Elías said, softly. “I am _so sorry_ but there’s been a bit of an emergency back home? We were all supposed to go back to our own homes today and – well, Carmen had an accident at the last minute so I have to take care of Daniel – and since I can’t really stay at home with a toddler because it is _not_ toddler proof, it’s a very dangerous house, I thought – maybe it was best to bring him here?”

“It’s alright,” Remus said softly, looking at the boy who shyly buried his face in Elías’ neck, whining. “Ah, he’s a shy one?”

“Scaredy cat,” Elías chuckled a bit, bouncing Daniel a bit. “Dani! _Dani_ , _qu'est-ce qui ne va pas avec toi, mon amour?_ ” he spoke, making Remus blink hard, not expecting the French he knew Elías could speak.

The boy was – well, he was blond and blue-eyed in the same way Elías’ family in its majority seemed to be. Had his baby teeth, couldn’t have been older than three years old, really, and Remus stepped back so Elías could walk in, wearing a coat for the rain and a very tame sweater with a couple of holes near the neck, not too much jewelry. He seemed like he hadn’t had much time to be himself today and Remus felt a bit bad.

“If it’s too much, we can postpone,” Remus assured and Elías shook his head.

“Nah, the kid can’t be at my place and everyone is traveling the muggle way so… this is the only options,” he sighed a bit, kissing the top of Dani’s head, the boy whining again. “Dani?”

“ _Ce - cet homme ... je ne sais pas qui il est_ …” he told Elías, nose against his shoulder.

“ _Pues es mi amigo, ¿Sabes?_ ” Elías switched to Spanish and, to Remus’ amazement, the kid seemed to understand, relaxing a bit at Elías’ words. “Sorry, he – doesn’t know English,” he explained to Remus, who simply gave a small smile.

“Smart kid, with two languages already,” he murmured, not wanting to startle him. “He’s your… nephew?”

“Cousin,” Elías explained and Remus nodded, helping Elías get his coat off. “Thanks – my aunt Carmen is his mother. It’s just – well, I’ll tell you later,” he murmured, pulling out his wand. “Do you mind if I turn one of the chairs into a high chair?”

“Not at all,” Remus quickly brought a chair over, looking on as Daniel seemed to perk up, his blue eyes wide, watching Elías murmur a spell under his breath and shift the chair.

With a shriek, Daniel clapped, giggling loudly, making Elías laugh as well.

“ _Encore! Encore!_ ” the kid cried out and Elías waved his wand, shifting the chair into a wooden bird, making the child _lose it_. Remus watched with a wide grin as Elías entertained him, changed his face from one of annoyance and sadness into one of happiness and wonder.

Finally, Elías put his wand back into its holster and put Daniel on his high chair, reaching into his bag and pulling out a square puzzle for the kid, who took it with fascination as Elías carried the chair and the kid into the kitchen, settling him there, hands on his hips.

“All good,” he nodded, turning to Remus. “So. Lunch?”

“Lunch,” Remus nodded, walking into the kitchen as well and starting to pull out the ingredients for the chicken tetrazzini they were going to make. “Is your aunt alright?”

“She’s fine, just… her husband,” Elías pursed his lips as he pulled his sleeves back, eyes rolling. “Well, soon to be ex-husband if he signs the godsdamn divorce papers, the son of a bitch.”

Remus instinctively glanced at the kid but Daniel was entertained with his puzzle, pulling it apart before putting it back together, eyes wide with fascination. What an intelligent kid – that only knew Spanish and French, right. He could curse. That was strange.

“So it’s… better if the boy isn’t around, I take it,” Remus said with a little wince as Elías took the crimini mushrooms, starting to clean them in the sink after washing his hands. Remus followed, washing his hands as well.

“Absolutely,” Elías sighed, looking over his shoulder at his cousin with worry. “His father just turned out to be a garbage fucking person and I’m _very_ pissed off.”

“What happened? If – if I may ask, of course,” Remus quickly added, eyes wide.

“Carmen was paying for an extra fee at the airport when it declined. So she called the bank back in Belgium to make sure she’d get a new card as soon as possible, since her card probably just didn’t work,” Elías locked his jaw, eyes furious as he took a deep breath. “And you know what the bank said?”

“Oh no,” Remus murmured, already dreading the answer as Elías took a knife from the drawer and began to chop the mushrooms, Remus working on heating a potful of water for the linguini.

“Red numbers. She’s on _red_ ,” Elías hissed, Remus’ eyes widening. “And so she calls Romain, her dearest darling husband back in Brussels, and you know what he said?”

“He spent it, didn’t he?” Remus murmured.

“He spent it all,” Elías whispered, voice restrained. “Because he has a _ludopathy problem_. Has had it for _two years_ and he didn’t tell _anyone about it_. No therapy, no working it out with Carmen, just quietly leeching money off her while she broke her back taking care of their baby, her teenage daughter and all the debts she accumulated when she went to college. The fucking _gall_ –“ Elías put the knife down, hands tightening to fists and Remus felt outraged for Carmen as well, unable to believe it. “The fucking _gall_ that this _dickhead_ has – and you know what’s the worst of all? Carmen said that she wants a divorce and this _bitch_ says no, that she’s being _selfish_.”

Remus choked, eyes wide, turning to Elías, “ _What_?”

“Fucking son of a bitch, good-for-nothing _dick_ ,” Elías hissed angrily, looking like a viper ready to attack. “Already had a bad night and I woke up with my little cousin Alejandra _crying_ because they can’t get back home. I can’t take them through floo because they’re _three muggles_ , not two, and it makes me just want to strangle every wizard on _sight_.”

“Is Alejandra alright?” Remus asked worriedly.

“She was in hysterics. Carmen wanted her to take care of Daniel but she’s _thirteen_ , Remus, she – she’s Mamún right now. And I couldn’t leave Dani as well, he’s… look at him,” he sighed, gesturing at the kid, Remus turning to see him breaking the puzzle apart and quickly trying to reassemble it. “The kid _obviously_ has ADHD and my grandmother has enough with Alex. Everyone else is traveling, has work on Monday or even tomorrow, like… I just had to take him, you know?”

“It’s alright,” Remus assured, hand moving to Elías’ arm, squeezing over the coiled snake tattooed on it and Elías looked up at him, his grey-blues stormy with anger and worry and sadness. “You’re taking care of your family. I have no problem with Dani here.”

“He eats very well,” Elías told him softly, giving a tiny smile. “Will eat everything in front of him. He’s a bit fussy but if you make a few magic sparkles, he’ll be delighted.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Remus said softly and, for a moment, Elías watched him with his lower lip between his teeth, making Remus feel like he was about to hear another important thing. He waited, watching Elías open his mouth when his father’s voice rang out.

“I hear a child! I hear a kid! Where are they?” Lyall called and Elías laughed.

Remus watched as Elías quickly cleaned his hands with a kitchen rag and went to greet his father, heart warming when Lyall wrapped his arms around the Slytherin and gave him a tight hug, Elías easily returning it. It never ceased to bring joy to Remus, the fact that Elías got along so well with his father, Lyall’s hands moving to cup the Spaniard’s face with a grin.

“There you are! I’m so glad you’re here,” he smiled.

“So am I, Lyall, it’s good to see you,” Elías told him, gesturing at Daniel, who – to Remus’ immense surprise – was still pulling apart his puzzle and putting it together, not getting tired at all of the little game. “The child is my little cousin Dani. Sorry for bringing him here, there was an emergency –“

“No, no, it’s alright! I love children,” Lyall said, grinning at the kid, stars in his eyes and Remus crossed his arms with a grin, watching his dad with fondness. “Is he shy?”

“Very much so,” Elías laughed a bit. “But he’ll open up if you’re entertaining to him. He doesn’t speak English, though.”

“Can he understand Italian?” Lyall asked and Elías, seemingly delighted and surprised, gave a firm nod.

“We’ve Italian relatives, all of us understand it,” he grinned and Remus looked at his father, who approached little Daniel and sat on a chair beside him, keeping a bit of distance as the kid noticed him and began to look a bit scare. “ _Ciao piccolo, come ti chiami?_ ”

Daniel looked at Lyall with less of a frown, glancing at Elías as if for help and the Spaniard quickly walked over to the kid’s side, petting his hair, Daniel grasping Elías’ sweater.

“ _Lyall te ha preguntado algo que sabes, Dani. ¿No le respondes?_ _¿Cómo te llamas?_ ” Elías cooed at the child, the back of his fingers gently stroking his chubby cheek.

“…Daniel,” he finally told Lyall, the name pronounced in French and Remus wondered what other kids in the family did to communicate with him, if he understood it all but only spoke French. What a fascinating thing.

Remus crossed his arms, watching the exchange, knowing that his father loved kids. He’d been very happy the first time he’d seen Harry, when the little Potter had been but an infant. Lily and his father had exchanged parenting tips and such. Remus remembered that afternoon fondly and he let it wash over him without sadness as Lyall reached over and brushed some of Dani’s hair away from his eyes, smiling when Daniel didn’t recoil.

Speaking in soft Italian that Remus mostly understood, Elías and Lyall finally got Daniel to relax. And the moment he did, he didn’t stop _talking_. He spoke in that stuttering manner that toddlers had, all in French but his father didn’t seem to mind, paying thorough attention to Dani, such a wide grin on his face as Elías encouraged him that it made something tender stir in Remus’ chest.

Wouldn’t it be nice, though? He thought of it for a moment – allowing himself to love freely, to live freely, without this curse over his shoulders. Telling Elías how he felt, fixing things with Sirius, getting together, having… a family. A kid like this one, sitting on a high chair, explaining this or that to Lyall, Elías gently fixing the collar of Daniel’s shirt.

It was like a punch in the gut, how much Remus wanted it.

“Eli?” Remus murmured and Elías looked up, blinking. “Lunch?”

“Oh! Right, yes, right,” he laughed a bit, patting Lyall on the back. “I take it you wanna keep Daniel entertained? Maybe go outside and take a walk?”

“Absolutely!” Lyall grinned at him. “It’ll rain in an hour or so but I want to show him around the lake.”

“Yeah,” Elías smiled, trusting the man. He’d taken care of a five year old werewolf, he could _absolutely_ take care of Daniel. “Just make sure he doesn’t get near any ducks. He likes to fight them.”

Lyall laughed and Daniel didn’t know what was going on but he grinned as well, shrieking with his giggles. He was especially happy when he was finally allowed out of the high chair and Elías went to get Dani’s coat in the entrance, slipping it on him as he knelt on the floor. Remus didn’t approach, not wanting to make the kid uncomfortable but he watched with a little smile from the doorway as his father also got ready to leave.

“ _Escucha a Lyall, ¿Vale? Va a cuidar de ti._ _Podéis ir a ver el lago y a andar un rato_ ,” he smiled at his little cousin, kissing his forehead and Daniel reached up and gripped Elías’ hair, pulling his face down to kiss his cheek sloppily, making Elías just _melt_.

Honestly, it was cute. It was adorable. Remus hid his smile behind his hand as Elías hugged Daniel tightly and showered him with kisses, making the kid shriek and squeal with laughter. When Elías pulled away, he reached for the fluffy scarf he’d worn outside and pulled it around Daniel, smiling at him as he buried his hands onto the soft fabric.

“ _Pórtate bien,_ ” Elías chided, standing and letting Daniel take Lyall’s hand, all his previous shyness gone at the prospect of going outside.

“We’ll come back soon!” Lyall told them, his face so bright that Remus couldn’t help but beam back at him, waving until the door closed.

Elías sighed, turning to Remus, giving a little chuckle, “Your dad is _so_ happy.”

“He loves children,” Remus explained, giving a little laugh, watching Elías. “You’re… quite good with him. I get now why you’re able to take care of the students.”

“Ah,” Elías turned a lovely shade of pink on his cheeks, looking down at his feet, flattered. Remus felt his fingers twitch with the need to lift his face up, to move closer to Elías but he held back. “I’ve been taking care of my cousins for so long, really, it’s not…”

“It’s impressive,” Remus countered softly. “Not everyone can take care of a toddler.”

“Dani’s a good boy, even if sometimes he has his moments,” Elías laughed a bit and approached the counter again, pulling his hair back into a quick braid. Remus had noticed that he didn’t put it into a ponytail anymore, always braiding it the wizarding way. Was that Severus’ doing? “But uh… now that we’re alone, we can actually talk?”

“Yes, I was – I was wondering when we would be able to,” Remus sighed, feeling a bit of dread inside him, glancing at Elías before he took the onion and began to chop it slowly. He felt a bit clumsy with it, especially considering the speed at which Elías cut the mushrooms next to him. “About Monday –“

“I was an absolute _asshole_ ,” Elías cut him and Remus let out a sigh of relief, hand pausing the knife, shoulders sinking. Thank fuck, thank _Merlin_ that Elías wasn’t as stubborn as Sirius. “I went to apologize yesterday. To Sirius.”

Remus felt his relief shift to happiness and he watched Elías with wide eyes, feeling his chest tight as he saw Elías turn to him, giving a little lopsided smile. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded. “We both apologized, in the end. I cut his hair properly, we listened to some music and I got into a tiny depressive episode when I left.”

Remus gave a little noise of surprise, hand moving to Elías’ shoulder, gently gripping it, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, m’okay,” the Spaniard assured, looking honest and Remus let out a sigh of relief. “I spoke with my sister all night. She left around four in the morning for Madrid.”

“Ah, she lives in Madrid, right,” Remus said, thinking about how dispersed Elías’ family was. “Why didn’t she take the floo?”

“She fucking hates the floo,” Elías laughed, making Remus chuckle a bit, both of them going back to chopping ingredients. “She’d rather drive seven hours to Madrid.”

“Just like you,” Remus pointed out, remembering that car ride, his body decompressing of all stress at the thought of it. “I can’t blame her. It’s… it’s very calming.”

“I came by car,” Elías explained. “Not Lola’s, though, I rented one.”

“I should learn how to drive,” Remus said, thinking of his father and how he’d looked after the car ride, his smile soft.

“It’s an expense, a car. But it’s… it’s nice,” Elías admitted, then laughed. “There’s a stereotype, though, that applies to you.”

“Oh?” Remus looked at Elías, amused. “What? Werewolves can’t drive?”

“No!” Elías laughed loudly and Remus grinned. “Gays can’t drive!”

“What? No. _No_ ,” Remus gasped, giggling. “Sirius can drive! Well, he’s bi –“

“He’s part of the gay spectrum, he counts as A Gay,” Elías snickered. “No, but – it’s like sitting. Gays can’t sit straight, neither can they drive. Or do maths.”

“Where are you getting all these from?” Remus asked, amused, finally finishing with the onion as Elías put the iron pan over the stove, drizzling some oil on it.

“From college – is this bottle new?” Elías asked, looking at the glass bottle of olive oil.

“Yes,” Remus confirmed, giving him a small smile. “I know you don’t like to cook with butter. You always use olive oil.”

“Gods, you’re _so_ sweet,” Elías breathed, putting the bottle away and leaning into Remus, his warm body pressing to Remus’ side and head resting against his arm for a moment. The werewolf turned his head and pressed his nose to the top of Elías’ head for a moment, smelling lavender in his hair, closing his eyes briefly, sighing. He’d… missed Elías. “Thanks, Moony.”

Remus’ heart fluttered, just like every time Elías used that beloved nickname and he murmured, “You’re welcome.”

“I think this requires some music, hmm?” Elías said as he dropped the mushrooms and onion into the pan, giving Remus as grin and the Gryffindor nodded, excited to see what Elías had in mind. “I heard this one last night and it’s by one of my favorite artists – still don’t know who, so don’t ask. But – here, just listen to it.”

The piano began and Remus listened while Elías told him to cook the chicken and shred it, Remus moving to get that going.

“ _Well, you're up all night and your head's down low_ ,” Elías sang along with the strangely pitched voice. Remus focused on the other pan he brought out, also using the oil to cook the chicken breasts but he felt the telltale relaxation in his body, being near Elías. “ _If you can see your own kite, shed a little light on it! You know a burden ain't a bust, you are the only way to trust ya! It's only fair it burns up in that rust!_ ”

“It’s nice,” Remus murmured, feeling like he’d heard a song like this before.

“Yeah,” Elías grinned widely and Remus felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at his bright blue eyes. “Yeah, I knew you’d like it.”

“ _Lay down, Martha! Lay down the holy banner flag!_ ” Elías sang, echoing through the kitchen and Remus couldn’t help but laugh, all the burdens and all the worries he’d had this week lifting from his bones. “ _Hold out, Martha! Help is surely on its way! And it's not right, don't bask in the glory of mine! No, no, no, they cannot take that part away!_ ”

It was a gospel, Remus realized suddenly, pausing as Elías reached over for the garlic at Remus’ right, getting all up in his space without care, with the familiarity that had slowly built between them in less than a year. Familiarity that was now translated into Elías at the lake house, Elías hugging his father, Elías somehow knowing that Remus would enjoy a gospel song like the ones his mother had played, had shown him after Sunday mass.

“ _They ate up all their cake! And they drank their own wine! They were always on the lake, will you shed a little light on it? Well, you know the burden ain't a gust, the only path to love is touch! Oh, no, no, no, that ain't probably amount to much!_ ”

Remus laughed as Elías swayed to the song, bumping into him and he grinned at the man, the Slytherin returning the beam widely. He ended up swaying with Elías, thinking of the guilt he so often felt about his feelings for him and deciding that maybe for today – just today, no other time… just today he’d bask in the happiness Elías brought him.

“ _Lay down, Martha! Lay all that alabaster down! There's no master and help will surely come around! I don't ask, I don't bask in the glory, oh no, and it's up to me if I don't wear a mask!_ ”

The song slowed a little bit and Remus had never heard a gospel like this, surely this was from a few years further down but he enjoyed it thoroughly, pulling the cooked chicken out of the pan and starting to shred it while Elías added the butter.

“ _Well you're up all night! And your neighbors don't know - man, your neighbors don't know! So shed a little light on it! You know the burden ain't a gust, you know that truth's been made a crutch! No no no, only them who's pauper lays him up…_ ”

The song finished and faded into another but Remus was still hung up on that first song, feeling a smile still pulling at his lips, his lungs full.

“That first song – you think you could… save it somewhere? I’d like to listen to it more in that cassette player you gave me,” Remus told Elías, who blinked with surprise before smiling brightly.

“Yes! Yes, of course!” Elías nodded eagerly. “I’ll make you a mixtape!”

“Another?” Remus laughed.

“Yeah! Of course! I love making them!” Elías seemed so happy, bouncing on his heels. “Trust me, Remus, I’d make you playlists until my dying days. The moment I get my hands on another Walkman, I’m giving it to Sirius.”

“Of course you are,” Remus grinned, shaking his head a bit. “How did your conversation go, last night? Was it… calm?”

“Yeah, it was,” Elías nodded, a small private smile on his lips. “We talked. A lot. About… apologies and changes and the past. It was nice. We shared a song. I had to leave but – yeah, it was pretty nice.”

“I’m glad,” Remus spoke softly, looking at the Slytherin. “I worry, sometimes,” he confessed. “You and Sirius –“

“I know,” Elías chuckled, sprinkling the flour into the pan and taking a spatula to incorporate it. “We are very similar. I kind of understand why you compared me all the time with him. It was – Sirius and I have an understanding. And it scare me a bit, how deep it seems to run? But… I mean, I guess it’s nice, too. To have someone fully understand you.”

“I’m just happy you two get along,” Remus said and Elías gave a little laugh. “Well, when you’re not at each other’s throats.”

“I get a feeling it’s gonna happen more often than not,” Elías admitted and Remus chuckled.

“Maybe so. But at least you two know to apologize.”

“Yeah – pass me the wine?”

Remus complied, handing him the bottle and, Elías, like the Spaniard he was, gently spilled the wine into the pan and then took a long sip, making Remus laugh loudly. “Eh, nothing to throw rockets at.”

“Don’t you like white wine?” Remus asked.

“Not all of them, this one’s super dry,” Elías glanced at the bottle, rolling his eyes. “Sev would love it.”

“How are things with him?” the werewolf put the shredded chicken aside and went to get two glasses out, serving them both some wine – it was out already, better not to waste it. “You went with him to Cartagena to look for books, right?”

“That we did,” Elías sighed and Remus’ eyebrows went up.

“That’s not a happy sigh,” he pointed out.

“Well, partly,” Elías mumbled. “Gods, there’s so much that happened this week. I’ve to tell you first about Harry – oh, _fuck_ , I’ve to tell you what I did,” Elías groaned, hand running through his hair, making a few blond locks fall out of his brain. “You’re going to think I’m an idiot. An impulsive idiot.”

“I already think that,” Remus said and Elías raised the spatula threateningly, making Remus recoil, laughing. “I’m joking! It’s just a joke, just a joke!”

“It better be,” Elías said, narrowing his eyes playfully while Remus drank from his glass, taking the wine in his other hand and sipping on it before saying. “So I filled in the paperwork to be Harry’s guardian.”

Remus sprayed wine into the air, coughing wildly, eyes wide as he turned to Elías, thinking he’d heard wrong somehow, watching Elías wince a bit and hide on his glass of wine.

“I’m sorry, what?” Remus asked quietly, eyes like saucers.

“I… I talked to Harry. And to Severus. And saw – saw that a lot of people could take advantage of Harry, so I… applied to become his legal guardian?” Elías explained and Remus threw his hands into his hair, trying to process it all.

“Elías,” he began, feeling the beginning of panic form in the pit of his stomach. “Elías, please tell me you thought about this and you didn’t impulsively go for it at the last second.”

“I _could_ tell you that but uh,” Elías gave a little hysterical laugh. “But I’d be lying.”

“ _Elías_!” Remus groaned, walking away from the counter for a moment, pacing the kitchen, feeling his heart in his throat. “Shite, Merlin, _by Godric_ , Elías!”

“I couldn’t just sit and watch him be put into a system that is meant to please rich, influential wizards when they adopt abused kids! There are people interested in Harry already and I – I’ve got a perfectly safe home and the money and just – all the resources!”

“I know you do!” Remus told him, turning around. “But what if there’s problems between the Spanish and British government? What does the Spanish Ministry of Magic have to say about this?”

“I’ve been doing all the paperwork with my parents and sister and my _lawyer cousin_ ,” Elías replied, looking hurt and Remus forced himself to calm down, sighing a bit and using a chair to try to lower his heartrate. “Like, I’m not _stupid_ , Remus.”

“I know you’re not, you’re just _impulsive_ ,” Remus sighed, rubbing his face. “Elías, just because you _can_ doesn’t mean that you _should_.”

“Are you saying I should’ve left him in an orphanage? Or in, I don’t know, Fudge’s house?” Elías crossed his arms and Remus frowned deeply.

“Fudge wants to adopt Harry?” he asked, mind boggled, watching Elías as the Spaniard nodded, looking angry.

“Tonks has been updating me. There are four other candidates and all of them are pureblood politicians in high places within the British Ministry of Magic. Fucking _Crouch_ of all people wants to adopt him.”

“Bartemius Crouch? The organizer for the TriWizard Tournament?” Remus gaped a bit.

“Yes. Now, tell me he looks like a loving father, huh?” Elías huffed and Remus’ stomach churned.

“His son was a Deatheater,” Remus murmured, making Elías freeze. “He… he was with Bellatrix Lestrange when Alice and Frank were tortured.”

“Christ,” the Slytherin breathed, hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

“It was a big public thing,” Remus explained, rubbing his nose. “There was a trial and Igor Karkarov was caught, so they interrogated him. Freedom for information. He began to spill names of Deatheaters, like Rosier and… well, Crouch’s son. Crouch was the judge.”

“Holy _shit_ ,” Elías whispered, looking horrified. “What… what did he do?”

“Sent him to Azkaban. Crouch died soon after in his cell, apparently had a tumor,” Remus rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “He… was known for not being a good father, I’ll admit.”

Remus tried to think for a moment of the situation and look at Elías without thinking of the quickness of that decision. The man looked rattled but it surely was over Remus’ reaction and not the story he’d just told. The deed was already done and, thinking over it, it wasn’t that bad of a decision, if only a little quick and irresponsible at the moment.

“C’mere,” the werewolf sighed, walking over to Elías and pulling him in for a hug, his arms around the man’s shoulders, rubbing his back. Elías immediately hugged him back, his face against Remus’ chest, fingers gripping the back of Remus’ shirt. “Look, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. It’s just… again, too quick. I don’t want you and Harry to trip and smash into a wall.”

“I had to do something, Remus,” Elías murmured into his chest, voice frail and something inside Remus’ chest broke a bit, making him kiss the top of Elías’ head.

“I know, I know… I know, Eli,” he muttered, pulling back and gently cupping Elías’ face, making the Slytherin look up. “I don’t approve of… the quickness of this decision. But I _do_ support you and Harry both. Whatever you need, if I can provide… I happily will, alright?”

“Really?” Elías’ voice broke and Remus leaned down to brush his lips against his freckles forehead, lavender invading his senses for a moment as he murmured back;

“Really.”

“Thank you,” Elías sniffled a bit. “I’m scared, I’ve to admit. I’ve taken care of my cousins – younger and older but… Harry would be under my _direct care_. I’d be his guardian and – and I’m very much keeping in mind that I don’t want to be strict or overprotective but I don’t want to spoil him, either. Kids need schedules and a firm tone sometimes and I – fuck, Remus –“

“You’ll do great,” Remus told him, leaving no room for _buts_ or _ifs_. “I know you will. So long as you ask for help when you need it, it'll be fine. Alright?”

“Alright,” Elías sighed, shoulders sinking a bit, watching Remus with slightly shiny eyes. “Are you ready to see me try and take care of a bunch of teenagers this summer?”

“Ron and Hermione are a must, huh?” Remus found himself smiling, chuckling a bit as Elías nodded. “I think you’ll manage. But if you need me, I’ll be there.”

“Thank you,” Elías repeated and, killing Remus inside, he went on his tiptoes and brushed a kiss against his stubbly cheek, Remus fighting hard to keep the blush off his face. “One thing is clear – Sirius will be fucking ecstatic about this.”

“You haven’t told him yet?” Remus’ eyebrows shot up as Elías went back to cooking, salvaging the sauce quickly.

“Forgot to,” Elías confessed, giving an embarrassed smile. “But yeah, I – I haven’t told him yet. But I’m keeping an eye on the mail. Supposedly, on Wednesday the interviews will start for the possible guardians. Tonks will tell me when I need to be home – but I also need to go to the Spanish Ministry of Magic,” he explained as he added the mixture of chicken stock, milk, salt and pepper into the pan. “I need to get some paperwork sorted about it and both a British and a Spanish social worker will come to check on El Rompido,” he explained, then sighed. “Which means that on Monday, since it’s the last day of holidays and the only godsdamn free day I’ve had, I need to make sure that there is a cleared room ready to be turned to Harry’s.”

“I see,” Remus said, nodding. “I could help, if you’d like?”

“O-oh?” Elías turned to him, smiling widely. “Really?”

“Mhmm,” Remus added the pasta to the now boiling water, glad to have something to do so he could help at lunch. “I’ll help you out. We can clear out the room together.”

“Thank you,” Elías breathed, smiling apologetically. “I keep saying that –“

“It’s fine, Eli,” Remus chuckled, shoulder bumping his, giving him a smile. “We’ll make sure it’s all up to code, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Elías grinned and as he killed the fire under the pan, the front door opened and Daniel’s voice came through, still talking in French about his favorite TV cartoons, Lyall looking amusedly at him, gently taking off his coat. “Hey! How was it?” Elías asked from the kitchen and Dani rushed to hug Elías’ knees, the Spaniard lifting the pan up so the kid wouldn’t touch it. “ _Dani, attend! Attend, attend – doucement, d’accord? La casserole est tres chaude_.”

Remus would _never_ get used to Elías speaking in French, it sounded so very different from when he spoke Spanish. He watched Daniel grin, kissing Elías’ knee noisily before letting go and suddenly walking up to Remus, making the werewolf blink with surprise as the kid grabbed his hand and pointed at the window, out to the lake, speaking in rapid-fire in the language he understood the least of the ones he spoke.

Elías seemed endlessly amused as he put the pan in a place where it wouldn’t burn and began to mix the shredded chicken in it, Remus looking between him and Daniel, his hand so big against his tiny little fingers. Remus stared at him, at the boy, trying to understand while he adjusted the grip of their hands, feeling a sudden wave of _I must protect him_ come over him. He breathed out and looked at his father, who had a knowing look on his face. Remus looked away as his cheeks burned.

“ _Oui? Oui?_ ” Daniel was pulling on his hand and Remus looked down, blinking.

“He asked you if you’d pick him up so he can touch the big deer head over the chimney,” Elías explained and Remus watched Dani’s hopeful look, his eyes sparkling and his free hand making grabby at him. “He said you’re very tall.”

“I am,” Remus replied, like an idiot before he nervously looked at his father. “Dad, how do I –“

“Let me show you,” Elías laughed, putting the spatula down before approaching Dani, picking him up right under his arms and handing him to Remus gently. Remus felt nervousness creep up in him like the one time he’d held Neville when he was but an infant. Daniel was bigger, though, older and he looked so happy as Remus slowly grabbed him, Elías showing Remus how to place his arms so Dani was against his hip.

And just like that, he was holding the kid.

“ _Haut, haut!_ ” Daniel giggled, holding onto Remus’ shirt and the werewolf couldn’t help but smile at the kid, laughing as well.

“Let’s take you to the deer, alright,” he chuckled, seeing Elías and Lyall get on with lunch.

Remus felt a bit overwhelmed as he watched Daniel, realizing just how tiny, how happy, how young he was. This kid could be, would be anything he wanted to be. He’d grow and find the things he liked, the things he didn’t like. He’d have his friends, his hobbies, his moments of happiness and sadness. It felt awful that he’d have to watch a divorce so young.

He wondered how Harry felt, how he saw Elías, and Remus made a mental note to ask the boy when they all went back to Hogwarts. Not just for Elías but also for Harry himself – if Remus was allowed into his life… he’d like to play a small part in it. Even if it was only as a professor.

Still, Remus would try and do his best.


	57. Sunday Brunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dabs* ayyy lmao, I was sick and I couldn't update, here's the new chapter!
> 
> Trigger Warning for this Chapter:  
> \- Mention of Elf SlaveryTM  
> \- Mention of amputated limb
> 
> I gotta let y'all know - I'm SO excited for everyone to meet the Slytherin group.

Elías yawned hard as he parked in front of the tall iron fence surrounding the Malfoy Manor, hands pulling off his helmet with a grunt. He set it on his lap and gave a deep sigh, rubbing his face, trying to wake up. At the very least, he hadn’t brought Daniel along – the kid had been taken late last night by Carmen, who hadn’t said a word but Elías could imagine that she was probably tired of discussing the elephant in the room.

Thankfully, Carmen along with Alex and Dani were back in Brussels now, Elías wasn’t too tired for the day and he was ready to – well, face ex Deatheaters with a perfect carrot cake that he’d made at two in the morning because Elías no longer had control over his life. With a sigh, Elías stood from his bike and placed the kickstand with a quick push of his toe hearing it squeak loudly. He should probably replace the spring.

Digging into the trunk, he gently pulled out the cake, glad to see that it’d survived the trip through portkey. Bringing the bike had been a hassle but at least he hadn’t needed to rent a broom or anything. His hair was in a tight braid, too, so Elías only needed to redo it to look presentable, taking off his gloves and shrinking his helmet to put it in the trunk as well before walking towards the front gate, a bit surprised as it began to open immediately. Elías looked around, almost as if to spot a camera but he just shrugged a bit and walked forward.

He undid his braid, letting it loose as he looked around the grounds, fascinated with this new view of the Malfoy terrains. It was a nice day outside, barely any clouds in sight but the breeze was cold enough that he kept his leather jacket, his shoes clicking on the cobblestone. This new perspective was strange but Elías supposed that a lot of times, wizards didn’t even bother with the outside of their home. It made him frown a bit, wondering what they did if their homes had no chimneys, since floo wasn’t the be all, end all of transportation. Elías was taken back to when Severus told him about horses and Elías gave a little frown – truly, it was so hard for wizards to adopt cars and the like?

It was now, as Elías was strolling through the path, holding up his carrot cake with delicacy that he realized just how _big_ the Malfoy grounds were – and, surprisingly, they weren’t barren of trees like an 1800s garden, perfectly mowed. There were quite a lot of trees, wilfflowers, wildlife itself that Elías smiled at, passing by the rush of a creek and spotting a few ducks. He saw hedgehogs, some rabbits and plenty of untamed plants and fungi. And when Elías found the biggest trees, he was startled to realize that they were sequoioideae. They were _secuoyas_ , redwood trees. Massive in size, tall as could be, blocking the sun as Elías kept following the cobblestone path, gentle floating lights illuminating the dark woods that he found himself surrounded by, breath hitching a bit.

Rich people could afford beauty, that, Elías had always known. He didn’t know they could also afford peace of this sort.

It wasn’t until ten minutes later that the path curved out of the redwood accumulation and Elías finally saw the Manor from afar, thinking about how his child-self would’ve been overcome with happiness and fascination at the sight – how he would’ve wanted to explore every little corner of these lands, wanted to have a house like that, huge, big enough to hold his entire family and then some, have some ridiculous ball and a library with more books than he could read in his lifetime. Elías found it childish now, thinking of his little home in front of Camposoto – everything he could ever want. Not perfect by any means, but perfect for him. And hopefully Harry, too, if it all went well.

Elías spotted the kids soon enough, smiling as he saw a bludger soaring through the air and almost hit Vince, who swung his bat and sent it back to Pansy, the girl dodging with a quaffle in her arms, Theodore right after her. They were on the side of the Manor, still far away but Elías would recognize Blaise’s screaming from a mile away.

He relaxed a bit, not realizing just how tense he’d been until then, taking a deep breath, finding no one at the front of the manor, where a beautiful alabaster fountain with a couple dancing at the top stood. Elías blinked at it and thought of it like anything mildly French and rococo – pretty but frankly _over the line_. His mother would love it.

“Welcome, Mr Fernández,” a squeaky voice greeted and Elías startled, giving out a yelp when Frederik spoke out of nowhere, wearing his impeccable little suit and white gloves without a single stain on them. “Shall I take your coat?”

He looked mildly amused and Elías gave a sheepish smile at him, “No, thank you, it’s alright. You _could_ take the cake, though, I could rather not have to carry it around, if that’s alright.”

“Very much so, yes,” the elf snapped his fingers, cake floating away from Elías’ hands and to Frederik’s side. “Smells wonderful, sir. I’m sure the mistress of the house will be delighted to serve this at tea time.”

Elías fought hard not to think about how utterly British that whole spiel had been, simply nodding at Frederik, hands digging into the pockets of his jacket. With a crack, the cake disappeared and Frederik climbed the beautiful white stairs through the front double doors. “Please, follow me, some have already arrived.”

“Good to know I’m not the last,” Elías breathed, making sure his hair was alright as he passed by a mirror, quickly adjusting his ear cuff with nimble fingers and taking a deep breath. “…who are the ones here already? If I may ask?”

“Mr Malfoy and Mrs Malfoy, of course,” the elf began, opening some windows as they walked through a hallway filled with them, the breeze clearing the somewhat stifled air inside, making Elías unwind a bit, following him with a curious look around one of the parts of the Manor he’d never seen. “Mrs Parkinson and her husband are also here and so is Mr Snape.”

“Alright, that’s not… too bad,” Elías muttered to himself, brushing his shirt of imaginary wrinkles, taking a deep breath. “Not too bad, no.”

“The rest of the guests will arrived gradually,” Frederik told him and Elías nodded. “Tea will be serve in half an hour and lunch in two hours. Shall you need anything, do not hesitate to call me.”

“Thank you, Frederik,” Elías gave him a kind smile, which he nodded back to. He seemed like a solemn elf, not prone to smiles but very prone to doing his job well. Elías wondered how much of the neatness in the manor was his doing. “Could I ask you something?” he asked, hesitating. “It may be indelicate and… frankly rude to ask.”

“Thank you for the warning, then,” the elf glanced over at him. “It’s about my status here, is it not?”

“I’m pretty transparent, aren’t I?” Elías laughed a bit.

“You’re the first muggleborn to cross these walls since they were erected,” Frederik told him and Elías’ jaw clicked shut, words leaving him. “I expect unusual questions about my wellbeing from you – do not worry, sir, I am perfectly happy working here. The pay is excellent and the missus enjoys the frequent meals that I enjoy with her. I have free time and free will.”

“That’s good to know,” Elías murmured, sighing. “Sorry, it’s just –“

“There were other elves,” Frederik interrupted, making Elías’ chest grow tight. “Those that did leave. I’m the only one who did not.”

“Why did you stay, then?”

“Draco needs a firm hand,” Frederik said, making Elías blink with surprise, not expecting that. “More than the one his father gives. Lucius spoils him and it’ll rot the boy. Someone needs to be around to remind him to clean his room, keep it all tidy, to study and not get carried away.”

“I see,” Elías gave a soft smile. “I’m here for the kids, too.”

“I know,” Frederik pursed his lips, huge brown eyes glancing briefly at Elías. “So I’ve heard.”

Elías didn’t know how to respond to that, didn’t know what to make of his demeanor so he didn’t say anything at all, simply following the elf through the white hallways of the manor. Stupidly, the first thing that came to mind was just how spacious it all seemed and how vulnerable Severus must feel every time he walked through here. A spike of worry hit Elías and he bit his lip, wondering if the potioneer was okay – and also if he’d thought about what Elías had said.

Arriving to the now familiar hallway leading to the gardens, Elías was surprised to see Severus waiting inside, looking out the window with an uncomfortable look. Elías paused for a moment, breath catching, finding the potions master in a different garment than the usual – still black but a slicker one, with buttons up to his throat but no overtunic, the style medieval and a bit more complex than Elías was used to seeing him in. He wore _boots_ , too, and tighter fitting pants and Elías had to remind himself that he wasn’t angry but he was _solemn_ since their last meeting. No matter how… good Severus looked, he had to maintain that mindset.

The good news was that at least he wouldn’t feel out of place with his own wizarding attire under his leather jacket.

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Severus spoke up, turning to Elías, his eyes intense as he looked at the Astronomy Professor.

“That’d be awful rude of me, wouldn’t it?” Elías replied, walking over to Severus and stopping a few feet from him, voice quiet. “Not coming. I even baked a cake.”

“Of course you did,” Severus sighed quietly, watching Elías, eyes stormy. “Chocolate?”

“Carrot, actually,” Elías murmured. “With cream cheese frosting.”

“I enjoy carrot cake,” Severus whispered, arms crossed.

“I know.”

Silence took over for a moment and Elías realized that Frederik wasn’t here anymore. He hadn’t heard him walk away or disappear with a crack and he pursed his lips as bit, unzipping his leather jacket and taking it off quickly, folding it over his arm, breathing in deeply.

“You’re… dressed like a wizard,” Severus pointed out.

“I thought it’d be fitting,” Elías replied, adjusting the cuff of his white poet shirt, shifting his weight to the other foot. “Is… there a reason we’re talking here?”

“I’m gathering the courage to speak, in all honesty,” Severus confessed, making Elías nod curtly, watching the potioneer back, seeing the struggle in his posture. “I wish I’d had the words on Friday. But alas, it seems I always need to time to process everything you say.”

“I haven’t _ever_ heard someone say _alas_ in a non-ironic way,” Elías told him, lips curling upwards, amused. “ _Pardiez!_ That’s how you sound.”

“You’re too modern,” Severus made a face and rolled his eyes. “Broaden your vocabulary.”

“Of course, of course,” Elías chuckled a bit, grinning and he saw Severus’ lips almost twitch into a smile. “Pardon the interruption. You were saying?”

“You were right.”

Elías blinked, stunned to the spot at the simple, cut-throat admission that came out of Severus’ mouth, Elías’ hands going limp for a moment.

“I… am?” he asked dumbly, watching Severus.

“Yes,” the professor sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hand, shoulders slumping. “I… I pondered over your words. Reread Lolita again, for good measure. I spoke with Corban and… and I spoke with my Godson.”

“You did?” Elías breathed, heart starting to beat rapidly, his hands clasping together. “How – how did it go?! What did you say?!”

“I asked him how he felt about me as a professor. And I asked –“ Severus took a deep breath. “I asked him how he felt _under_ my tutelage in summers. How he _felt_ , not if it’d been useful, if it’d been… good teachings.”

“And he told you,” Elías said softly, making Severus nod and Elías stepped closer. “What have you learned, then, Severus? Out of Lolita, out of me and Draco, out of all of this?”

“That my trauma never justifies inflicting pain on others,” Severus murmured and Elías felt his eyes _burn_ with relief, chest tight, Severus’ eyes closed tightly. “That I’ve a position of power above these children and if I want them to learn, I can’t… I can’t be the way I was. I can’t… expect them to learn when they’re too afraid to make a mistake. I can’t teach with fear.”

“That’s right,” Elías said, a bit strangled, hand moving to grip Severus’ tight fist, those long fingers unclenching until Elías could hold them in a gentle grasp. “Gods, Severus, that is _right_. I know – I know it’ll be difficult to change and it’ll be hard to find the right balance between what you’re used to and how you want to t-teach but –“

“Elías –“

“I’m _so_ proud of you,” Elías breathed, passionate and true, making Severus’ eyes widen as the other professor held his gaze with wild blue eyes. “You’ve realized what you’ve been doing wrong and instead of covering your ears and shoving me away, you’re admitting to your wrongdoings. You’re _admitting_ that you’re doing things wrong and you’re committing to changing yourself, your style of teaching. That’s a huge effort, a huge thing, Severus, and I – it takes a lot of courage to do it. And a lot of heart, too.”

“I thought it was just decency,” Severus rasped, voice strained, fingers twitching on Elías’ grip and eyes a bit… a bit shiny.

“It _is_ ,” Elías laughed a bit, running a hand through his hair, grinning at him. “But it’s also a lot of work. The you from six months ago would’ve never done this.”

“No, he wouldn’t,” Severus swallowed, watching Elías.

Elías smiled at him, rubbing at his eyes, giving a little wet laugh, “I’m so proud of you, I’m so _happy_ for you. And the kids that will come to your classroom. Not only will they be happier and feel safer, but their passion for potions will be immeasurable, I’m sure of it. You’re an incredible teacher, if only you allow yourself to be more human. More like the you that I’ve seen behind closed doors. _My_ Severus, not scary Professor Snape.”

“I won’t… it’ll take time,” Severus scowled a bit, looking away, cheeks tinged red and Elías couldn’t help but laugh, going on his tiptoes, gripping the back of Severus’ neck before pulling him down for a smooch on his cheek, the man going rigid.

“I know it will,” he squeezed Severus’ hand, seeing his face burn but Elías could only grin. “Now come on – I want to meet the Parkinsons!”

He pulled on Severus’ hand, the man stumbling after Elías through the hallway, the first time he’d ever seen Severus so clumsy but he supposed that kind of conversation would unsettle anyone. He’d allowed himself to be so vulnerable in front of Elías and Elías was _deadset_ on letting him know how much he appreciated it and how incredibly _good_ that had been.

Yesterday he’d spoken with Remus in the porch of the lake house, quietly admitting that he didn’t know what he’d do if Severus decided that Elías was full of shit. Remus had told him, very gently, that if Severus had been listening and willing to change until now, then very probably he would keep doing it. Elías didn’t know when Remus had started to put faith in Severus, too, but it was good to see that Remus had been right. And that Remus was willing to bury the hatchet and also admit his wrongdoings and give Severus all the time he needed to accept a long overdue apology.

Things felt like they were falling into place and Elías felt much, much lighter now, ready to face all the ex Deatheaters that would arrive at the gardens. Severus also seemed to have pulled himself together by the time they stood in front of the doors leading to the gardens, adjusting his sleeves and his tunic, taking a deep breath.

“Kiera Parkinson is the one with short brown hair,” Severus explained as Elías also breathed in slowly, getting ready. “She’s part of the Witching Hungarian Ballet Troupe and she’s the matron of the Parkinson family. Her husband, Felix Parkinson is an archeologist currently working in Szeged in the underground ruins left after the flood of 1879.”

“And I need to know this because…?” Elías turned to him, surprised.

“To have at least a mild tidbit of information, of course,” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him, amused. “Would you rather go in without it?”

“No,” Elías quickly replied, then murmured. “Those are really cool jobs.”

“They’re both highly cultured and sensible people,” Severus told him, eyes roaming Elías’ face. “I have a feeling you’ll get along with Felix.”

“I hope I get along with everyone,” Elías breathed, realizing then that he was still holding Severus’ hand, quickly letting go, cheeks burning slightly. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Severus murmured, his face a bit colored as well and Elías looked away, about to open his mouth when Severus spoke again, “I’m… glad you are not mad at me.”

“I wasn’t – _mad_ at you. I was just sad,” Elías replied quietly. “I didn’t like the way you were acting, Sev, that’s all.”

Severus sighed deeply, nodding, “Well, I – I hope… I am able to change for the better.”

“I know you will,” Elías murmured, turning to him and giving him a kind smile. “I stand by what I said – I’m proud of you, Sev.”

Severus said nothing, watching him, looking caught, his breath hitching while the two shared this stare. Elías felt his belly and chest warm at the thought that Severus was getting better, was becoming better, would eventually be happy. Perhaps even smile and laugh more often than he did –

“Hello to you two, as well!” Corban’s boisterous voice came from behind and Elías and Severus quickly turned around, Elías’ face warm for some reason, feeling as if the man had caught them doing something private. “Sorry, did I interrupt anything?”

He was smirking and looking – well, he looked _good_. Elías gave him a small smile, seeing the bags under his eyes not as prominent, even if they were still there. He hadn’t shaved properly but his clothes weren’t wrinkled and his hair was somewhat decently pulled back, the man looking almost vivacious. Severus next to him scowled, glaring at Corban.

“No, you did not. We were about to go into the gardens,” he explained.

“Then what are we waiting for?” he grinned, turning to Elías. “You look good in proper clothes, Elías!”

“Thank you,” Elías laughed, shaking his head, watching him. “You look good as well, man. Did you shower, too?”

“Oh, _fuck off_ ,” Corban threw his head back and laughed, arm moving around Elías’ shoulders, pushing the garden doors open. “The party arrived!” he called out, Elías shyly looking over at the tables set around the grass, finding Narcissa laughing along with a dark-skinned man that wore strange robes, probably Hungarian, with beautiful embroidery.

Sitting next to Lucius, holding a delicate teacup was the other Parkinson and Elías wondered if every woman in this group of friends looked like a model ripped from a magazine. Delicate, pale, perfect hair and deep brown eyes that Elías recognized from Pansy, Kiera Parkinson smirked over her cup at Corban.

“Wow, Corban, for once you’re on time,” she remarked, cocking an eyebrow. “Is it a blue moon tonight?”

“I’m afraid not, Kiki, I’m just excited to see all of my friends. Can’t I?” Corban gave a pout, arm sliding off Elías’ shoulders as he walked over to her, kissing her temple. “Your hair looks nice.”

“Thank you, darling,” she chuckled, patting his arm. “Won’t you introduce us, hmm?”

“You’ve been the name on everyone’s mouth,” Felix said, his accent more noticeable, walking over to Elías and offering a hand. He wore three quarter sleeves and Elías could see the Dark Mark but he ignored it, shaking his hand, giving him a smile. “Felix Parkinson.”

“Elías Fernández Oviedo,” he introduced him, giving him a big smile. “Nice to meet you. I’ve been teaching your daughter Astronomy– she’s a delight. Bright and bubbly but studious and extremely intelligent.”

“That’s our Pansy,” Kiera said, voice light and happy as she stood and moved next to her husband, her thin arms moving around Felix’s elbow. “She’s doing alright, then?”

“One of the best in her class, yes,” Elías nodded firmly, hand on his hip. “She has a knack for Astronomy and I’ve heard she also enjoys Arithmancy a lot and her grades are astounding in that field.”

“That she does,” Felix said proudly, chest a bit inflated.

“Careful there,” Lucius spoke with a chuckle and Elías turned to him as he stopped to join their little circle, Narcissa as well, smiling softly at the professor. “Wouldn’t want to let them talk about Pansy too much or they’ll go off the rails.”

“You’re much the same with Draco,” Kiera replied, elbowing the man and Lucius gave a little laugh. “In fact, I’d say you’re worse!”

“Much worse,” Severus muttered and Lucius’ gloved hand came flying to smack the back of Severus’ head, making Elías snort, quickly hiding it with the back of his hand. “ _Lucius_!”

“Respect your elders,” the man simply said, giving him an amused look. “In any case – Kiera, Felix; I introduce to you both Elías, who is Severus’ colleague and… a fairly new addition to Sunday brunch, I suppose.”

“Nice to meet the both of you,” Elías said honestly, smiling at the pair.

“Likewise,” Kiera replied. She wore long sleeves and a beautiful cream-colored dress so Elías couldn’t see if she had the mark. In fact, most of them except Felix wore full sleeves despite the wonderful weather. Elías wondered if they’d done it for him or if it was simply something they were used to, hiding their past. Elías was morbidly fascinated by the thought.

“Would you like some tea, Elías?” Narcissa asked him, her arm moving around his elbow, pulling him towards the table. “I’ve some wonderful white rose tea that you should try, dear.”

“That’d be wonderful,” Elías confessed, hearing a far-away, familiar shriek. “That must be a score.”

“They’ve been playing nonstop,” Narcissa sighed, everyone gathering around the beautiful iron table with the glass top, bigger than the one Elías had seen the first time he’d stay for tea. There were small empty plates, probably prepared for tea time in just a few minutes and Elías was dumbly struck with nerves at the thought that no one would like his carrot cake. Did wizards usually have carrot cake? Probably pumpkin cake. They loved their pumpkin. “Honestly, I just hope they’re not all sweaty by the time lunch comes.”

“Leave them be, they’re children,” Corban told her, serving himself some tea and gently slapping the side of Narcissa’s arm as Severus took a seat next to Elías, being pretty quiet while Felix and Lucius engaged Kiera in conversation at the other end of the table. “They’re allowed to sweat and scream and be less than proper for such a simple affair.”

“I know, I know,” Narcissa sighed softly, her hand over her cheek. “But I got Draco a new shirt and he looks so much like Lucius in it, so grown up, my sweet boy…”

Elías chuckled a bit, thanking Corban as he served him some rose tea. “He does look like Lucius, I’ve to admit,” he told Narcissa, making her smile. “But those eyes are the Black eyes, hmm?”

“He behaves like a Black more than a Malfoy,” Severus finally spoke from beside Elías, giving a roll of his eyes and Narcissa threw him a little glare.

“It isn’t wise to say so as of now,” she told Severus, looking slightly tense. “Sirius…”

“Oh,” Elías murmured, feeling his stomach sink a bit. Right, she… she didn’t know he was innocent. Elías wondered… “Were you two close?” he dared to ask and Narcissa glanced at him, looking surprised. “I’m no one to judge,” he quickly added, making Corban raise his eyebrows.

“We… used to be,” she said slowly, a soft admission. “His relationship with my family was never the best. He was, ah…”

“A bully,” Severus stated bluntly, scowling. “A Gryffindor. An anarchist. And an absolute –“

“He was never one to get along with our family or our friends,” Narcissa cut in, sighing softly. “He was… well. He was a troubled child.”

“He was a wanker,” Corban stated, lifting his teacup and clinking it with Severus’, making Elías rub his temple as Corban stated. “I hope he’s eating rats in a ditch!”

“Corban, _please_ ,” Narcissa told him, scolding. “He’s my _cousin_.”

“He crashed your wedding,” Corban deadpanned.

“Made a scene,” Severus added, sipping his tea, leaning back on his chair as Elías listened in to this new perspective. “Made you _cry_.”

“I was happy crying _all night_ ,” Narcissa defended, sighing, rubbing her temple. “Honestly, that stupid rivalry of yours…”

“I maintain that he deserves to rot in Azkaban,” Corban snorted just as the double doors of the garden opened and a Scottish, bright and cheery voice rang through.

“Ladies and gentlemen! I… have arrived!”

Elías turned, blinking hard, watching a man in his late twenties spread his arms – he had long, beautiful and shiny red hair and a perfectly trimmed shadow of a stubble over his jaw, moustache curled, eyes a honeyed brown. He was tall and a little lanky and wore the brightest robes Elías had ever seen, patterned and not as boring as everyone else.

“Hello, Toby,” Lucius greeted and Elías blinked, realizing that this was _Avery_ , the man walking over and kissing Lucius’ cheeks before lifting Kiera up for a hug. His feminine mannerisms, the way he carried himself with confidence, it all clicked into place and Elías turned to Severus, giggling quietly.

“You said he and I would get along because I’m _queer as hell, too_ , didn’t you?” he accused and Severus lifted an eyebrow in his direction. “That’s such a stereotype.”

“But am I wrong?” Severus asked and Elías would’ve kicked him under the table if Avery hadn’t turned to him, then, his eyes shining with intent.

“Ah, you must be Fernández, hmm?” he man sauntered over to him and Elías stood, greeting him with a shake of his hands, realizing the absolutely gorgeous nails that Avery wore. Elías was envious, glancing at his unkept cuticles and simple, slightly chipped black nails. “My, my, you’ve been the talk of town, hmm?”

“Have I?” Elías asked, trying to play coy, dropping Avery’s soft hand, noticing just how many freckles the man had. He was almost as tall as Severus, probably, but so much thinner. His tunic was also more open at the front, unafraid to show some collarbones and Elías was _seething_ with Envy, wishing he could pull off all the things Avery seemed to flaunt.

“Oh, don’t be shy now,” Avery smirked. “Severus hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

“I have _not_ –“

“Shush,” Avery slapped a hand over Severus’ mouth, the potions master growling almost at the redhead. “Little muggleborn man playing with the snakes. I found it so very amusing, I must admit, are you playing grown-up? Do you like taking risks?” he asked rudely and Elías felt shame trying to shape his face but he schooled his features into mild fun instead of annoyance or offense. “Or do you just like older men?”

“Sorry, I believe we were talking about me, not you?” he replied and Corban gave a loud crow of a laugh, Avery’s jaw dropping and Narcissa quickly hiding her smile behind her teacup. “You must have me confused – I’m here to have some tea and get to know better the friends Corban and Severus have been talking about.”

“Of course you are,” Avery was grinning and Elías had a feeling that he was probably the most silver-tongued of the bunch, watching Elías thoroughly, eying his tattoos before his eyes suddenly zeroed on his fingers, eyebrows raising, seemingly relaxing. “Oh. Alright. I see how it is.”

“Tea, Toby?” Felix asked, leaning into the table, smirking. “Or do you want to keep flirting with our guest?”

“I don’t do straight men, sorry,” he waved his hand at Elías and okay, _that_ was enough, the Spaniard fuming silently as Severus slowly pulled him back to his seat, trying not to smile.

“He knew that would make you angry,” Severus whispered to Elías, who was laughing into his hand. “But I’m guessing you’re not too angry.”

“What a _dick_ ,” Elías chuckled, looking at Severus. “You were right. Does he always do that?”

“With _everyone_ ,” Corban told him, smiling.

“You did pass the test, though,” Avery spoke up, walking towards Elías and kicking Severus’ chair. “Sit somewhere else.”

“What? No,” Severus glared.

“Fine,” Avery sat on his lap, making the potioneer groan, shoving him towards his knees as Avery crossed his legs, getting comfortable, fascinating Elías. He’d never met someone that could test Severus’ patience as much as Elías. “So – do tell me, darling, what in the world is a little young muggleborn like you doing here?”

“I’m twenty-two, first of all,” Elías retorted, shaking his head with a little grin. “And I’m here because I honestly don’t have friends and I’m quite happy to meet others.”

“Oh, so you’re Will, basically,” Avery stated and Severus snorted.

“William is shy. I assure you that Elías is _not_ ,” Severus told him, making Elías chuckle as Avery’s eyebrows wiggled.

“And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Sevvie?” he snickered, making Severus blush, spluttering, and Elías covered his face and began to laugh hard. “Aww, look at you! It’s alright, sweetheart, even old men have their needs.”

“Tell me one reason why I shouldn’t shove you to the ground,” Severus gritted his teeth.

“WILL!” Avery stood, making Severus unwind, still grinding their teeth as Elías looked over at Avery, who approached a much shorter, black man and hugged him tightly. “Severus is making fun of me!”

“I am _not!_ ” Severus stood, rushing to Avery, poking a finger into his chest. “You absolute _fiend_ , you _liar_!”

“Everyone calm down,” Jugson called, his voice deep and one hand moving between both men to move them apart, his eyes kind and bright with happiness. He had a crisp London accept and he seemed about Elías’ height, shoulders broad and calm demeanor – but what drew Elías’ attention was probably the fact that his right arm was missing.

Elías blinked for a moment, startled as he saw the lack of limb and immediately his eyes moved to the other arm, the sleeve pulled up to show no Dark Mark there. A traitor. A deserter. Elías felt a soft kind of compassion and gratefulness, suddenly, and when his blue eyes met Jugson’s, he smiled. Jugson smiled back, a bit shyly, and he approached Elías with a nod.

“You must be Elías,” he spoke, the Spaniard standing and shaking his hand with his left hand. Elías didn’t mind, his grip firm but approachable.

“And you must be William, if I may,” Elías replied.

“Just Will,” the man nodded. He had silver and beautifully crafted cuffs around his dreads and Elías was once again struck by how beautiful everyone was. It was a queer man’s greatest weakness, truly, and Elías tried not to feel too overwhelmed. “It’s good to see another face in a sea of familiarity. Perhaps that’s the change we need.”

“Perhaps,” Elías retorted, knowing perfectly that new faces among cults meant a change of pace, a change of order. Hopefully Elías could start breaking some foundations.

“Now, now, it smells _wonderful_ , Narcissa,” the man took off his half-cape, gently folding it over the back of a chair and kissing the hostess’ cheek. “I’ll have whatever it is that you’re serving in that teapot.”

“Good to see you, Will,” Narcissa smiled brightly. “How’s Angela?”

“Adapting. Studying hard,” he replied, sitting down on the chair by Severus with a sigh. Elías once again took his spot on the potioneer’s other side and gave him a small smile, Severus looking… quite relaxed. He’d never seen the man like this, Corban speaking to him about his latest restored piece.

Elías had the sudden urge to reach for Severus’ hand but he resisted, listening to William and Narcissa, Avery sitting down and joining the conversation.

“She must be working so hard, being an Unspeakable is quite hard,” Narcissa said.

“Angela is incredible,” William gushed. “Such a bright witch – the brightest of her age! In Bloeiende Gronden they kept talking about her achievements and offering her scholarships for her next steps, apprenticeships and the like. I couldn’t be prouder.”

“Is she your daughter?” Elías asked and William turned to him, nodding. “How old is she?”

“She’s sixteen,” he explained, grinning brilliantly. “Graduated two years earlier!”

“Oh, wow,” Elías smiled. “And she’s training to be an Unspeakable?”

“Yes, she recently moved to Latvia,” he explained. “She wants to work in the British Ministry of Magic but for that, she has to go under thorough training. Latvia offers a training program for Unspeakables and she gladly went there. She’s a bit too busy, a bit too far away but… well, it was her choice.”

“That’s a huge thing,” Elías smiled. “What a brilliant witch she must be.”

“Quite so,” William flushed with happiness. “Ah, talking about Latvia – have you all heard about the TriWizard Tournament?”

“Oh, so it was leaked already,” Severus hummed, glancing over at his friends, who all watched Elías and Severus eagerly.

“I thought it was just a rumor,” Kiera blinked. “Truly? Is it coming back?”

“Indeed,” Severus huffed. “It’s absurd.”

“Well, I think it’s nice,” Elías cut in, frowning at Severus. “I mean, it’s a way for kids to go beyond their usual limits. It’s a celebration of internationality –“

“Bloodbath, bloodbath!” Corban sang, fists banging on the table and Avery followed him.

“Bloodbath, bloodbath, bloodbath!” the redhead laughed as Narcissa scolded them both.

“It’s going to be a mess,” Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“It’ll be a fun mess,” Felix countered, making Elías snort as Severus just groaned.

“You’re not the professor here – no professor, no opinion,” he scowled and Elías, in all his eloquence, banged his fists gently on the table.

“Bloodbath! Bloodbath!” he chanted and Corban burst out laughing.

“Elías!” Severus hissed and Elías gave a laugh.

“Come on, Sev! It can’t be _that_ bad. They’re just kids,” Elías rolled his eyes and heard Avery leaning over to whisper to William, _did he just call him Sev?_

“You underestimate the incompetence to the Wizarding European Union,” Severus mumbled into his cup, shaking his head. “For some, it’ll be a fun, culturally rich experience – for others, the _kids_ , it’ll be a nightmare.”

“Well, that’s why they have to throw their names into the Goblet of Fire,” Elías frowned. “If they didn’t want to do it, they wouldn’t do it.”

“What about peer pressure?” Severus retorted. “Or just – teenagers being dumb?”

“You think dumb teenagers will be chosen?” Elías cocked his eyebrow at him.

“All teenagers are dumb, so _yes_ ,” Severus hissed.

“There’ll be safety measures,” Narcissa pointed out before glancing over where the kids were playing, sighing deeply. “Thankfully, one of them won’t let Draco participate.”

“If the kids threw their names in, you _know_ that Blaise would be the one chosen,” Corban retorted, making Lucius squawk. “Come on, the kid is incredible.”

“Not saying he isn’t but so is Draco!” Lucius said heatedly and Narcissa patted his arm, laughing softly into her hand.

“It’d absolutely be Blaise,” Avery snickered. “I don’t even think Draco would want to participate.”

“Theo would,” Elías said lightly and William hummed in agreement. “He seems like the type.”

“I guess we’ll know when August comes,” Avery shrugged.

“Don’t you dare spoil the surprise,” Elías told Severus, glaring at him.

“Why would I?” Severus huffed.

“I know you. You _almost_ spoiled it for me.”

“We’re professors, what would it matter?”

“It did to me! I love surprises!”

“This wasn’t a _surprise_ –“

“It was a surprise for _me_ and you wanted to _spoil it_.”

“Fine!” Severus rolled his eyes, sighing deeply, giving Elías an amused look. “I will try and keep whatever next surprise comes a secret, then. For your… enjoyment.”

“Thank you,” Elías grinned widely at him, about to finish his cup of tea when he realized that the others were staring at them both, Elías flushing hard and hiding into his teacup when he caught Corban smirking hard at him.

Thankfully, the garden doors opened again and in came a scarred man sporting the first short haircut in this little group of people, startling Elías a little. Apparently, everyone else was just as surprised at his presence but Severus stood almost clumsily, rushing to him.

“Harvey,” he murmured, pulling the man into a tight hug and _holy shit_ , those were some huge fucking arms. Elías was trying to think of who this could be as everyone stood to greet him and Harvey finally spoke with a bright smile, cut jaw and a deep laugh.

“I see everything’s as I left it, huh?” he had an American accent and Elías felt a bit warmer – California, surely, Elías could tell. “Oooh, who’s this new face?”

Elías stood, moving to shake his hand, a bit frazzled at his handsome face and bright white smile. He had blue eyes that shone like icicles in the bright light of the afternoon and his hair was untamed. Elías could see now the faint scarring on his jaw, the tell-tale sign of –

“You’re a dragon tamer,” Elías stated, blinking with surprise.

“Wise one, are you?” he laughed, nodding. “Yes, I am! I’m Harvey Gibbon, nice to meet you!”

He wore short sleeves and American robes, much more similar to Elías’ muggle style and Elías could tell that they would get along, grinning back at him. The Dark Mark was on display but he didn’t seem uncomfortable at all – neither was Elías, even if he probably should’ve been.

“I’m Elías Fernández Oviedo,” he introduced. “Just call me Elías.”

“Ah, you’re Severus’ friend! The professor!” he exclaimed, turning to the potioneer, who nodded and said nothing else. “Why, Severus, you didn’t tell me he was a handsome one!”

Elías felt his insides twist with flattery and his face grow warm, tensing a little bit and Narcissa rolled her eyes, pulling Gibbon to the table.

“Don’t be a _flirt_ , Harv, come on, have some tea and rest up – did you arrive today?”

“Yes, I did! Just now, through your chimney – I hope you don’t mind that I only brought some dragon-skin boots this time, we’ve had a good run and only one of the pack died – and of old age! So you know they’re _quality_.”

“Don’t mind him,” Severus scowled a bit as everyone moved back to the table, the potions professor falling into step beside him. “He’s… like that with everyone.”

“I didn’t mind,” Elías said honestly, looking up at Severus and catching the annoyance in his eyes. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Severus replied, making Elías’ stomach flop like a fish out of water. “He’s incorrigible. He’s… a Bachelor. A –“

“Playboy, womanizer. I could tell,” Elías said, amused. “Severus, I’m not going to do anything with the man. I just don’t mind people flirting.”

“He can be an arse,” Severus quickly said, looking away. “That’s all I’m saying. And I know you’re a… sentimental man.”

“Aw, you’re trying to protect me,” Elías cooed, leaning into his side, grinning at him as Severus sighed deeply, rubbing his temple. “That’s cute. Don’t worry, Sev, I don’t go for men like that.”

“Ah…” Severus replied, furrowing his brow. “And… who do you usually go for, then?”

“Wouldn’t _you_ like to know,” Elías teased, walking back to the table, grinning to himself as he flopped on the seat next to Corban, the wizard leaning over to whisper to Elías.

“Is it me or did he seem bothered?” he murmured into Elías’ ear, who gave him a scolding look. “I’m just saying,” he snickered.

“Shut up, you’re as inconspicuous as a clown fish,” Elías muttered, making him snicker, nudging Elías, the Spaniard trying to hide among his teacup while everyone focused on Harvey.

“I’m just saying,” the other man whispered quietly. “That he seemed kind of off-put by Harv flirting with you. And same with Avery.”

“You’re seeing things,” Elías told him, because Avery hadn’t been flirting and Harvey was a dick, apparently, which Severus had wanted to keep him away from. The man was protective and Elías already knew that. “So don’t get my hopes up,” he mumbled.

“Alright, alright,” Corban shrugged, then nudged him again. “But hey – it seems that so far… you’re fitting in.”

Elías mustered a smile at that, giving Corban a hopeful look. “Really?”

“Really,” Corban nodded, face bright. “I mean, so far. There’s still –“

“Sienna!” Narcissa grinned, standing, and Elías froze in his seat, turning around to look at the garden doors, where a black, tall, hawk-eyed woman stood.

With her gaze pinning Elías to his seat.


	58. Mars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, she hath arrived. Say hello to Sienna!
> 
> Songs in this Chapter:  
> \- Mars by Sleeping at Last
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- alcoholism  
> \- purist beliefs, purist slurs  
> \- cults/cult tactics

Sienna Zabini was a tall, thin, bright-eyed woman that wore golden finger caps like talons and heels thin enough to use as a weapon. Her nose was straight, her hair dreaded to perfection, her dress shimmering and her Dark Mark on proud display as she slowly walked through the grass without a stutter to her step, despite the wet ground. Elías was frozen to his seat, watching her with wide eyes and despite every single thing he’d Seen, this – _this woman_ was what frightened him the most.

She stopped in front of him, her hand slowly drifting from the back of Severus’ shoulder to firmly grasp the top, golden claws digging into his clothes, Severus focused on his tea instead of her, looking less-than-impressed. Corban, beside Elías, held his breath.

“Well, hello,” she spoke, her Italian accent prominent in her speech. “I believe we haven’t met, have we?” her painted lips spread into a rouge smile, showing pearly white teeth, perfectly straight, just like Blaise’s. This woman had raised that incredibly insightful and intelligent boy and Elías knew well that she had done it by herself.

“I’m afraid not,” Elías replied, finally, slowly standing and realizing suddenly that her heels meant that she was almost as tall as Severus, making him swallow. She towered over him, her head blocking the sun, casting Elías in shadows. “Sienna Zabini, right?”

“Indeed,” her hand lifted – her left one, her wand hand and Elías knew because it was the one with the Dark Mark. She didn’t shake his hand, just offered the back of hers, ringed, decorated with multiple delicate pearls on a chain around her wrist and middle finger. Elías, reigning in the quickened beat of his heart, leaned down as he took her fingers, kissing the back of her hand.

The only sound that could be heard was Severus’ too-loud teacup suddenly resting on the glass top of the wrought iron table, breaking the spell, Sienna’s sharp hazel eyes shifting to the man.

“How rude of you, Severus,” she clicked her tongue, smirking. “Not to stand and greet your good friend.”

“I have seen you yesterday, Sienna,” Severus hummed, finally turning to her, his dark eyes watching her with resentment. “I thought you’d want to meet Elías properly first.”

“Elías, is it?” she said lightly, pronouncing his name actually right, making Elías relax only slightly as his fingers withdrew from her sharp claws. “How familiar, how fondly you speak of him, Severus.”

“We work together,” Severus defended and Elías felt like he was a fish caught in a net, Severus’ fingers trying to pry him away from the hawk attempting to grasp him with ready talons.

“And now you’ve lunch together, isn’t that lovely?” she grinned and Elías felt like there was something _sharp_ about it. Like Zabini could turn her head and bite into the flesh of his throat at any given moment. “Isn’t that just _lovely_?”

Silence took over after her next words and Elías looked around, seeing Kiera look away from Elías quickly, her hand over her jaw, Felix’s hand over hers, squeezing. It was right then that Elías realized the feeling that Sienna was trying to instill, the emotion that was washing over everyone like an ice cold bucket of water at night;

Guilt.

“I certainly hope it’s lovely,” Elías replied, hand moving to rest on the table, voice no longer a thread, breaking the tension around them. Corban visibly breathed as Sienna looked at Elías, staring hard. “I’m afraid I do not have much friends and so far, I’ve found all of these people quite lovely, as you’ve said. _Lovely_.”

Sienna laughed, golden claws over her chest, the sun making her Dark Mark shine as she smirked at him, “Oh, then, dearest _pasticcino_ , you must have such _low_ standards.”

“How awful for you to think so of your friends,” Elías replied, making Severus tense and Sienna’s smirk drop. “And I’m not a cupcake. Do not give me petnames. I am not a child, nor am I an idiot. If you want to insult me, just call me mudblood like everyone else,” he cocked an eyebrow at her and Avery, on his seat, let out a quiet _oh shit_.

“Very well,” Sienna replied, her pretty lips curling down for a moment before they relaxed, hand moving to pinch Elías’ cheek. “ _Mudblood_ it is.”

“ _Sienna_ ,” Severus warned, voice rough, glaring up at his friend.

“What?” she replied innocently, eyes wide. “I’m simply doing as he told me!”

“Let her be,” Elías waved his hand, turning his back to Sienna so he could sit back down with Corban, crossing his leg, looking at Sienna with a neutral, unbothered face despite his heart beating in the back of his throat.

Sienna finally looked away from Elías and moved to the other side of the table, sitting down elegantly next to Narcissa, who leaned over to seemingly chastise her but the Italian woman seemed to really not care, pouring herself a cup of rose tea and believing that she’d won that exchange just because she could now use a slur against Elías.

“We should go check on the kids,” Corban suddenly said, standing, brushing his pants of wrinkles, Felix nodding at him and almost standing. “No, no, Felix, it’s alright – why don’t you come with me, Elías?”

“Very well, I’d love to see them,” Elías said casually, leaving his chair and following the wizard out of the southern gardens and into the thickness of the Eastern part of them, catching Severus’ eyes on him, stormy and angry and worried and all those things that made Elías’ stomach flop with unearthed feelings.

Once the two were out of hearing range, Corban let out a little hysterical giggle, nudging Elías with his elbow, “Well, I think that uh, went better than expected!”

“Are you _shitting me_?” Elías wheezed, doubling over, hands on his knees and face pale as his head spun. “I thought she was going to _bite me_!”

“She would’ve, if you two had been alone,” Corban snickered. “She’s uh, intense?”

“I got _so_ scared,” Elías confessed, eyes wide as he gripped the other man’s arm. “Corban – Corban, dude, I’m _not_ made for this. I am such a chickenshit, I have _no_ idea what I’m doing!”

“I think you handled it very well,” he offered to Elías, giving him a small smile. “I certainly didn’t expect you to take that slur in stride, I’ll be honest. Not after what happened with Se –“

Elías’ head snapped to the side to watch Corban click his jaw shut, hand over his mouth.

“Severus told you?” Elías asked quietly.

“He… he tells me almost everything?” he winced, looking at Elías. “He didn’t say it was _you_ but… I mean, I put two and two together, I’m not _daft_.”

“Right,” Elías murmured, rubbing the side of his neck, starting to walk once more towards the little Quidditch pitch where the kids were playing. “Gods, Corban, really, I – did you really think I handled that well? Cause I felt – I felt _trapped_ , I felt like she was about to eat me and… you all would let her.”

“I’ll be honest,” Corban said softly, looking up at the sky for a moment with a sigh. “If that were the case –“

“You would,” Elías finished for him, nodding. “No, I – I get it.”

“She’s uh… she kind of hates strangers,” Corban explained, making Elías slowly nod. “I mean, all of us were… trained to. Strangers were either the enemy or people who could potentially join us. You’re neither and that unsettles most of us. Avery, Will and Sienna the most, I think.”

“Seems like you and Sev are the only ones who have realized that you guys were in a cult, huh?” Elías murmured, making Corban wince.

“Were or are?” he questioned, turning to the Spaniard.

“Ah,” Elías chewed on his lower lip. “So that’s why you all are… still together.”

“Well, we’re _friends_ ,” Corban breathed, wincing. “But whenever we bring outsiders, they quickly run off because of Sienna. Or Avery. Or even Severus, it just – it’s how it works, you know? If you’ve no outside influences…”

“They don’t even know they’re doing it, right?” Elías laughed a bit, incredulous as Corban shook his head. “They just do it automatically.”

“I tried to get them to uh, join Severus and I? With the whole therapy thing?” Corban told Elías, who felt that spike of pride in him. “But… it didn’t go well.”

“Right,” Elías murmured, feeling sadness gather at the mouth of his stomach, sighing. “I’m very sorry, Corban. This must be awful for you, to see your friends like this.”

“A bit,” he confessed, eye twitching. “We all have gathered… coping mechanisms. Some better than others. Some much, _much_ worse than others.”

“Like alcohol,” Elías put in softly.

“Like alcohol,” Corban snorted, making Elías hold his arm a bit tighter. “I think you’re an alright bloke, Elías. I think you could really help Severus, you know? Maybe – maybe not the rest of us, it’s a _lot_ but… I’ve heard Theodore talk about you. And I know Severus better than anyone else,” he paused, wincing. “Well, anyone that’s alive.”

“I want to help but I do recognize that this is bigger than me,” Elías told him, seeing a bludger soar dangerously close to a window before taking a turn and flying quickly back to the game. “I can’t help everyone – mainly because I know it’ll burn me out and it’ll make things worse. I can take on Severus. I can take on Theodore. I can help you in small things and I can be everyone’s friend, if they need one. But… you guys need outsiders. You need to – too break that mentality of _us vs them_.”

“I know, I _know_ ,” Corban groaned, running a hand through his messily gathered hair, biting on his knuckle. “Fuck, that’s what I’ve been trying, vouching for you. But I think it only made Sienna more… defensive.”

“I see,” Elías murmured, gently rubbing Corban’s back. “…Severus apologized to me.”

“I know,” Corban told him, turning his head to give Elías a small smile. “Last night he stayed over at my home. We spoke all night long and he even wrote down what he wanted to say to you.”

“He did?” Elías laughed a bit into his hand, terribly endeared, unable to help the fondness that shone through his eyes. “Oh, he’s _terrible_ at social interaction, oh, _Sev_ …”

“I thought it was quite cute,” Corban smirked and Elías rolled his eyes, shoving him a bit. “No, really! He kept writing and then throwing away the papers and he was an utter mess! He wants to make sure he says the right thing to you, you know?”

“He should just speak from the heart,” Elías replied, hand sliding from around Corban’s elbow. “I just want him to be honest, that’s all.”

“Kind of hard, in the world we live in,” Corban told him and Elías pursed his lips a bit. “But uh, maybe outside of these gardens, out of his home, in Hogwarts… maybe you can manage that with him, hmm?”

“Maybe,” Elías responded with a little sigh, looking down at his hands and then turning to the other wizard, seeing his tired demeanor despite his very much awake words. “Hey, how _are_ you doing? I don’t… I don’t want to get into your business, it’s not my place but if you want to talk… I’m also here for you, y’know?” he bumped shoulders with him, smiling as Corban blinked with surprise at him. “I’ve also struggled with addiction,” he added. “Didn’t go too far but… I sort of know how it feels.”

“Ah,” Corban said, voice breaking a bit. He cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. “I think, in all honesty, that I just need professional help. That’s next week I have the appointment and – and I’m going to _go_ ,” he said firmly, hand tight on his robes, his eyes a bit shiny. “I’m going to – pull myself together. For Philippa. For Severus and – and for myself, too.”

“That’s the stuff,” Elías grinned widely, giving a bright laugh. “That’s it! That’s the spirit, dude! And after your session, why don’t we all gather at Spinner’s End and have a nice dinner, yeah?”

“Yes,” Corban laughed a bit, nodding, giving Elías a small smile. “I’d – I’d like that a lot.”

“We should probably ask Severus, though,” Elías snickered and Corban threw his arm over Elías’ shoulder, laughing.

“Bah! We’ll just show up at his house and start cooking, he’ll love it! Don’t you know that he _loves_ surprises?” he wiggled his eyebrows and Elías just gave another laugh.

“CAREFUL! BLUDGER!” they suddenly heard and before Elías could react, Corban had shoved him into the bushes at the side and a bludger imbedded itself on the ground, making dirt and grass fly, the Astronomy Professor groaning as he slowly stood, trying to pick leaves out of his clothes.

“Those were some good reflexes,” Elías mumbled, looking over at Corban, who was on the floor with leaves and a few flower petals in his hair, making him snort. “Oh, _Corban_.”

“Don’t I look pretty?” the man laughed, accepting Elías’ hand in help to get him up as the kids all approached them both in their brooms, Theodore at the head, the one who had screamed. “Now, kids, I’m not sure if you know this, but throwing bludgers willy-nilly is not really safe,” Corban chuckled.

“Sorry, sorry!” Pansy said, bat in hand and as Elías turned to the children, he was suddenly enveloped in a hug, making him freeze, not expecting Theodore to be so ready to do it publicly.

“Whoa, there, kiddo!” he laughed, arms moving around him, uncaring of the smell of sweat as he patted his back, pulling away to see Theodore’s bright smile. “Bet you didn’t expect me, huh?”

“No! Not at all!” he smiled so brightly and Elías felt his chest burn with affection, ruffling his hair as Draco walked over, surprised.

“Are you here for lunch?” he asked.

“Indeed,” Elías nodded, hands on his hips. “I was invited by your mother, darling that she is, to stay today for lunch, yes.”

“She didn’t tell me!” he squawked, offended and Corban brushed a flower out of his hair, laughing as Vince waved enthusiastically at the Astronomy Professor.

“So are you just – going to be with us?” Blaise spoke up, frowning as he crossed his arms, glaring at Elías a bit. “Is that it? You’re part of the group now?”

“Blaise!” Theodore turned to him, frowning. “That’s rude!”

“We’re not at school, I don’t have to be polite,” the boy scowled, eyes narrowed at Elías and honestly? After Sienna, Elías kind of understood why Blaise acted the way he did, so mistrusting and borderline paranoid. “Especially to him.”

“You may not be at school,” Corban spoke up, arms crossing, watching Blaise. “But you’re not at home, either. You’re a _guest_ , and you’re a _teenager_ while he’s an adult. So it’d do you well to respect your elders, Blaise, as you’ve been taught.”

Blaise’s jaw clicked shut and Elías felt his throat tighten – no, that’s not what he wanted. At all.

“Elders don’t deserve respect if they don’t show you any,” Elías told Corban, catching everyone off-guard.

“Elías, I’m trying to –“

“I know what you’re trying to do,” the professor replied, frowning deeply. “But that’s a wrong lesson. Blaise doesn’t owe someone respect just because they’re older than him – he owes them respect because everyone deserves it until proven otherwise. Apparently, I’ve done something to prove otherwise to him.”

“So what, you’ll let a thirteen year old talk to you like that?” Corban asked incredulously.

“Outside of the classroom? Yes,” Elías blinked at him, snorting a bit. “Don’t you remember being thirteen? Like – listen, I’m not – if I did force him to speak to me with respect, what would that accomplish? What would that do? _I_ would feel better but would he? Would his opinion of me change, or would it sour because he has to _pretend_ every time he sees me?”

Corban was absolutely baffled but it was nothing compared to Blaise, whose face was a picture of conflicting emotions. Theodore was smirking at his friend, arms crossing.

“In any case,” Elías turned to the kids, hands clasping together. “I just wanted to come and see you all. How have you been during Easter?”

“Amazing!” Greg told him, making Elías smile wide. “I went out with my father to Portugal, Vince and Pansy came along!”

“Oh, that sounds like so much fun, where did you go?” Elías asked as the kids all started to move to the stairs on the side of the mansion, pointedly ignoring the way Blaise stared at him with intense eyes.

The kid obviously disliked him and Elías was sure by now that it had nothing to do with his muggleborn status and everything to do with his _outsider_ status. Much like his mother, Blaise was distrustful by nature and it was only amplified by the cult-like mindset of everyone he loved. Nobody was doing the kid any favors by forcing him to respect or like Elías – Elías sure as hell knew that the more you told a teenager to do something, the more likely they were to _not_ do it.

So he let Blaise be. Maybe one day he wouldn’t hate Elías so much, who knew?

What Elías knew for sure was that being around the Slytherin children was a balm to his soul in ways he’d never realized before, sitting down on the alabaster steps and hearing Greg, Vince and Pansy gush about Porto and the coastline. Theodore sat at his left, leaning a bit into him and Elías wanted to ask him how he felt, how he was, how he was coping but it wasn’t the right time for it. The kid seemed happy anyway – flushed from exercise, grinning from his friends, a bit twitchy with pent-up energy, maybe.

Elías wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him a bit closer, Theo giving him a brilliant grin that made Elías want to shrink him and put him in his pocket. For protection. To keep him away from harm’s way forever. Corban sat at the top of the stairs and also wrapped himself around the group a bit, Vince leaning against his knee and Draco resting on Corban’s arm, cheek smushed against his shoulder.

The two of them heard the group talking and Elías realized just how tense he’d been from that interaction with Sienna, slowly relaxing and letting go of the stress accumulated on his shoulders. He listened to their games, their hang-outs, their little rituals and moments that defined them as a group of friends. Elías learned a lot from them in that moment, outside of Hogwarts, outside of the oppressive walls full of expectations and roles.

Pansy was dancing in the same Academy as her mother but not ballet, more traditional Hungarian dancing. She knew the language and spent her vacation Szeged, where her father and mother had a beautiful home in a wizarding alley that she loved very much. She was good at dancing, good at maths, good at keeping all these boys around her a little calmer, a little more tame. Without her school uniform, she could wear all the beautiful clothes that she wanted, with intricate lace collars and plaid long skirts.

Greg had no idea what to do but he enjoyed helping his father in the broom shop he had in Northern Wales. He knew all about brooms – how to make them, how to cut them, how to polish them, what enchantments were made and how they were developed, too. But Elías could tell it wasn’t his passion, not really, and that the thirteen year old boy was still looking for something he could latch onto. He was good at Quidditch – not a master, not a genius but good enough. It prompted everyone to start opposing that, complimenting Greg but Elías could tell that he didn’t mind not being the best, that he was simply happy to play with his friends.

Draco, on the other hand, was happy to talk about himself – about playing Quidditch with his father, collecting new seeds at the market with his mother, about gathering everyone here and going to the lake to swim, taking care of the horses together, having Theodore around all the time. He was a happy kid, if a little bit too spoiled by those around him. Inadequacy seemed to plague him, though, by the way he seemed to overcompensate and boast, making Pansy run a hand through his carefully slicked hair just to piss him off, laughing loudly when Draco almost threw himself at her.

On the other hand, though, Blaise and Vince stayed quiet. Theodore spoke but not a lot, mostly talking about the Malfoys, about the lake, about anything other than himself. Blaise did not speak because he didn’t want Elías to know anything about him but Vince – Vince caught Elías’ attention, staring at his lap and picking at his grey pants, getting some threads out. He wasn’t a very talkative boy, Elías did know that, but he seemed to thrive with his friends. Was he simply shy or did he have something in mind that was bothering him?

Eventually, someone did come to get them and to Elías’ relief, it was Severus – and _Gods_ , he looked so good, Elías had forgotten in the midst of all those new and scary faces but now that the potions master was walking towards them with the sunshine on his face and the wind on his hair, Elías was left to flounder a bit. The dungeons, the darkened air of Spinner’s End and the awful weather at Hogwarts always made Severus look older than he actually was but right now, he just looked… like himself. Like the sarcastic, too-smart asshole that he was. Elías tried to hide a smile by looking down at his feet for a moment.

“I was wondering where you two had run off to,” Severus cocked an eyebrow at Corban and Elías, the latter who looked up with a little laugh. “Now I see the children have captured you.”

“More like we used them as an excuse to run off,” Elías told him, gently ruffling Theodore’s hair, making the kid pull away with a little giggle. “Is lunch ready?”

“Almost,” Severus replied, pausing as he glanced at Elías. “I’m afraid your cake was demolished the moment Will had a taste.”

“You brought cake?!” Draco gasped, eyes wide, Elías nodded.

“Now mere crumbs on a plate,” Severus told his godson, who gave a hard pout. “It was carrot cake, too.”

“You’ve got to be _joking_ ,” Vince whined. “Carrot cake is my favorite!”

“Guys, guys, it’s _okay_ ,” Elías assured them all, giving a little laugh as he appeased the masses. “If you’d like, next time there’s a gathering like this, I’ll bring a cake just for you all to share, alright?”

“Yes!” Pansy punched the air, laughing as Severus helped Corban to his feet and then turned to Elías, offering a hand as well, Elías taking it without thought and letting Severus pull him up from the stairs.

“Did you have a slice?” Elías asked him, a bit eager to know.

“I did,” Severus replied, saying nothing else, a little smirk on his lips, hand still on Elías’, catching only the tips of his fingers.

“And?” Elías prompted, furrowing his brow. “Don’t just leave me hanging, come on!”

“It was _good_ , Elías,” Severus rolled his eyes, his fingers slipping away from his and quickly knocking a single knuckle against his temple, making Elías chuckle at the now familiar gesture. “It was delightful. Not too sweet, spongy and moist. You’re a good baker.”

“Why, thank you,” Elías grinned widely at him. “Coming from you, Mr I-don’t-like-sweets, I’ll take it as the highest compliment.”

He stepped down the stairs, once again too short for Severus’ tall frame but he didn’t mind much, not when the sun was hitting Severus just right, making his eyes pop with that elegant dark wooden tone. Corban cleared his throat and the two professors turned to him, realizing that the kids were all gathered towards the path to the back gardens.

“Are you two coming?” he asked, smirking, Elías sending him a murderous look.

“Actually,” Severus spoke up, surprising the Spaniard. “Could I speak with you for a moment, Elías? I won’t take too much of your time.”

“Yes, of course,” Elías nodded, sober yet not somber, arms crossing as he turned to Severus, waiting for the rest to leave. He caught Theodore’s eyes before they turned the corner, though, and gave him a reassuring himself, the boy returning the gesture with bright eyes.

Once the rest were gone, Elías’ blues found Severus’ browns and he took a deep breath, watching his tall friend with patience. Severus waited only another minute before lifting a hand gently and brushing out of his eyes a stray hair that Elías hadn’t really noticed, his cheeks burning a bit at the tender gesture.

“Are you alright?” Severus asked him, quiet and worried.

“I’m okay,” Elías nodded, honest, looking up at him with a small smile. “She didn’t say anything that perturbed me too much. I was in the right mindset and I… I could take it.”

“She shouldn’t have said it, still,” Severus’ lips pursed slowly, brow furrowed. “It was in poor taste, completely unlike her. She isn’t a vicious woman at first meeting.”

“Well, apparently, I pulled it out of her,” Elías sighed, shrugging. “What are you gonna do? It’s fine, Severus, I… I understand her defensiveness, where it comes from. I understand why she’s doing this and why she’s so hostile to me.”

“It doesn’t make it _right_ –“ Severus stressed, hand clenching and Elías quickly placed his fingers over it, gently squeezing until Severus let out a sigh, hand going limp, Elías’ thumb pressing to the center of his palm.

“No, it doesn’t make it right,” Elías explained slowly, agreeing. “But you’ve to remember that the progress you’ve made is something that’s been done individually. Your friends, your group, still has a long way to go and it’s quite hard for them to pull away from the interiorized rules and rituals that came from the times you were in Voldemort’s cult. You’ve been able to pull away because you’ve surrounded yourself with people outside of it, _they_ haven’t had the chance.”

“How do you know this will work?” Severus asked, frowning deeply. “You… talk as if you knew all about it.”

“I… actually am no expert?” Elías confessed, shrugging. “But I _have_ looked a lot into cults, mainly American ones, I’ll admit. But they all follow certain patterns that can be pinned down and analyzed. If… if you’d like me to, I’d lend you some books on them?”

“…that’d be useful,” Severus admitted, fingers twitching, hesitating for a moment before wrapping around Elías’ hand, eyes still stormy. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I am,” Elías reassured, giving him a tiny little chuckle, hand moving to pat his arm. “Gods, you were worried all this time that I was with the kids?”

“I didn’t come earlier because I didn’t want to make a scene,” Severus sighed, looking at the grass instead of Elías. “And I don’t… want to smother you, either. I am _not_ Lupin.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” Elías told him, heart fluttering with gratefulness.

“I…” Severus didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, eyes now drifting around the side of the Malfoy Manor, almost in search for answers, making Elías laugh quietly.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop flattering you,” he teased, pulling back and starting to walk towards the back gardens, Severus following after him, quickly catching up in two strides of his long legs, walking beside him. “Oh, also! Corban told me that he was going to therapy next week! Are you as well?”

“Yes,” Severus took a deep breath, chin moving a bit high, as if to maintain his pride that one day he’ll learn wouldn’t be sullied by going to _therapy_. “Tomorrow, in fact.”

“Oh,” Elías blinked, surprised. “Really?”

“Really,” Severus glanced at him, looking slightly irritated. “At noon.”

“I see,” Elías said softly before giving him a small smile. “Well, tomorrow Remus is coming over in the afternoon to help me with a few things at home – clear up a room for Harry and all that. Would you like to come after your appointment to have lunch with me?”

Severus paused, turning to him, mouth already downturned, “Why would I want to spend my afternoon with _Lupin_ –“

“I’m not telling you to,” Elías quickly cut in, voice gentle, hand moving to grasp his arm, making the both of them pause before they breached the southern gardens, where they could hear everyone amiably speaking with each other. “I’m offering for you to come, Sev. You’d get to my place before him, anyway. He’s not coming for lunch but you would be.”

“I… but _why_?” Severus frowned.

“I’ve found that… well,” Elías sighed. “Spending the rest of the day alone to stew thoughts in your head after a therapy session can be pretty awful? So maybe – I don’t know, you’d like to have lunch with me? We could have some wine, bitch about friends and Dumbledore and family and overall have a good time, yeah?”

“I – ” Severus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, looking conflicted. “I… let me ponder that. I do not know – I don’t know in what state I will be after… going.”

“Understandable,” Elías nodded, smiling gently. “Just so you know, in case you need to make the decision after your session, I’ll still be waiting, alright?”

“…thank you,” the potions master murmured, Elías simply nodding.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, hand squeezing his arm before moving to the south gardens, finding that George Goyle and James Crabbe had been the last ones to arrive, George’s arm around Greg’s shoulders as he spoke with Felix, face bright and Vincent right next to his father as well, looking almost nervous.

“Ah, Elías!” Narcissa called, moving towards the Spaniard and looping her arm around his elbow, pulling him towards William, Corban and Sienna. “That carrot cake was simply _divine_ , dear, where did you get the recipe?”

“Oh,” Elías mumbled, surprised, face burning slightly. “W-well, it’s – it’s not really official? I pull from here and there, different things I already know about baking –“

“It’s _your_ recipe?” William’s eyebrows shot up, surprised.

“I suppose – yes, I suppose it is,” Elías gave a little shrug, looking at all these taller, older people gauging him for a moment. He felt a bit small.

“So you play piano, guitar and drums, from what I’ve heard, you bake, you teach Astronomy and you’re also a gifted potioneer,” Lucius spoke up, voice a silky slither around Elías, urging him to preen at every compliment. “I’d say you passed under the radar for quite a while despite it, how come?”

“Well, I – I,” Elías struggled to find his words, wondering _when_ he’d become a ‘gifted potioneer’, which was an absolute lie. And anyone could play an instrument and also know how to make a simple carrot cake. These people were trying to flatter him. “I… don’t really know what to say, I’ll be honest. I don’t believe myself extraordinary simply because I can perform multiple different tasks. Baking is truly not that hard, within a family that cooks and bakes a lot. Astronomy is simply a little passion of mine which was picked up when I was young and… well, I did study music but I don’t believe myself above average.”

“Oh, truly?” Corban smirked, making Elías want to punch him in the face. “Shall we test that?”

“Don’t,” Elías warned, narrowing his eyes at him.

“Humility can be absurd in the face of compliment, almost insulting,” Sienna spoke up, making Elías’ eyes drift to her. “Unless, of course, you believe everything you’re currently saying.”

“It’s not out of humility but out of discomfort,” Elías told her, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “If you want to compliment me, do so in the skills I actually excel at, not the ones I’m average at.”

“Such as?” she cocked an eyebrow.

“Handling vipers, apparently,” he smirked and Sienna’s eyes widened as Corban let out a snort, grinning while Narcissa rubbed her temple, sighing. “Forgive me. I had to.”

“Indeed,” Sienna muttered into her glass of lemonade, simply watching Elías with a deadpan look before she stepped a bit closer, breaking the circle and Elías’ safety bubble, the man taking a step back before he could really think about it. “Do it, then. Play for us. Show us just how mediocre and very not humble you think yourself to be.”

“I don’t think you’d like the music I play very much,” Elías pointed out, eyebrows raising.

“Try me,” Sienna replied and Narcissa clapped her hands once, looking delighted.

“Oh, you’ll play for us?” she asked Elías, who was resigned to do so, what else could he do? Sienna was challenging every single thing he was saying and at this point, Narcissa and Corban looked way to excited to turn away.

So he nodded and Narcissa actually grinned at him, fully and honest, making Elías melt a bit because she was so sweet to him, so very sweet. She began to move to Lucius, talking about a piano and Elías sucked in a sharp breath and then let it all out, hands tight.

“Why are you so nervous?” Severus asked him once the two were alone with Corban, the man watching Elías with curious eyes. “You’re a musician, are you not?”

“You are?” Corban asked, delighted. “Ah, I didn’t know!”

“It’s not – I studied music, I’m not really a _musician_ ,” Elías mumbled, touching the tip of his long braid and he pulled it over his shoulder.

“Then shouldn’t you be happy to perform either way?” Corban asked, bumping shoulders with Elías. “I mean, you’ve performed before, right?”

“Of course I have,” Elías murmured, a bit irritated. “It’s – it’s just… there’s a lot of people here.”

“You’ve _stage fright_?” Severus asked, stunned and Elías grunted.

“I _do not_ ,” he stated very firmly, turning to the other professor. “I just – I’m – I may be an extrovert and I may thrive on attention but I don’t – I haven’t ever – it’s… you and your _friends_ , you know?”

“So singing makes you shy when it’s in front of me and my friends?” Severus asked, a bit quietly, looking oddly amused at the statement that was… well, essentially _true_. It made Elías flush a bit, messing his braid a bit at the end, grumbling. “Is this why you’ve never played in front of me?”

“He hasn’t?” Corban leaned into Elías, the Spaniard groaning. “Oooh, this could be interesting! What are you going to play?”

“I don’t know yet,” Elías mumbled, actually nervous. “I’ve _no idea_ what you guys enjoy, I only know what _Severus_ enjoys.”

“Are you going to play muggle music?” Corban asked, arm moving over Elías’ shoulder, grinning so wide, eyes sparkling. “Play muggle music.”

“Oftentimes, the lines between magic and muggle are blurred in music,” Elías frowned. “Some artists can be muggle or magic but most of the time it’s a mix of both, y’know.”

“Is there one that you know is for sure muggle?” Corban asked.

“I’m not going to do a muggle artist just to piss Sienna off, I’m not trying to _piss her off_ ,” Elías defended and Corban hummed, nodding. “Listen, I – I am not going to sit down while she grills and goads me. I’ll dish it out if she tries to get to me but I won’t prompt anything hostile, alright?”

“Is that why you called her a viper?” Severus asked, smirking and Elías gave him a little smirk back.

“If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out,” Elías cocked an eyebrow.

“So you won’t be playing Evil Woman by the ELO, then?” Corban snickered and Elías smacked his arm, laughing.

“No, stop,” he told Corban, wiggling a finger at him. “You’re _such_ an instigator, _stop it_.”

“For once, Elías is right,” Severus pointed out, humming as he saw Theodore approaching them. “Though it’s frankly a good song.”

“You like the ELO?” Elías asked, delighted, face brightening and Severus gave a shrug. “Come on, then – what should I play? Some classical bore?”

“Classical music is not boring,” Severus immediately said, frowning deeply and Elías rolled his eyes.

“It can be,” he replied just as Theodore reached them, his eyes bright.

“Professor Fernández!” he called, pausing in front of him. “Are you going to play?”

“I’m afraid so,” Elías chuckled a bit, poking Theodore’s forehead with a gentle finger. “Now it won’t be as exclusive when I play for you, huh?”

“I guess not,” he laughed, smiling. “You should play guitar!”

“I don’t think they’ve a guitar here,” Elías told him, giving him a small smile. “But the piano is fine, Theo, don’t worry. I won’t embarrass myself too much, I hope.”

“You’re _so good_ at music, though!” the boy gushed, eyes sparkling and Elías blinked at him, a bit stunned. “Everyone should hear you!”

“I… don’t know about everyone, Theo,” Elías laughed into his hand, amused by his enthusiasm and tender with the honesty he heard from him. “But that’s very sweet of you.”

“Didn’t Flitwick want you to play with the choir?” Severus asked and Elías nearly stomped on his foot as the rest of the kids approached along with Avery, who seemed curious at the little gathering.

“No, he didn’t,” Elías lied blatantly, making Severus look unimpressed at Elías. “Shut up, no he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did – in fact, you’ve been avoiding him, haven’t you?” Severus narrowed his eyes a bit.

“You are playing for us?” Avery asked, arm moving over Corban’s shoulder comfortably.

“You are?” Pansy added and Elías groaned a bit, giving a laugh.

“Yes! Yes, I’m playing! Darn it,” he rubbed his face for a moment and rolled his eyes, nudging Draco. “You’ve a piano here, right? I’m going to go play it and whomever doesn’t come, well, sucks to be them. Let’s get this over with.”

“You don’t _have_ to play, you know,” Severus told him, not attempting to hide his smirk at all as Draco nodded and directed him inside the Manor.

“Yes, you do!” Theodore told Elías and Elías just gave a helpless shrug at Severus, feeling Theodore grab his arm and pull a bit. “You should play that – that nice song you said you and your father play?”

“Wish You Were Here?” Elías blinked before chuckling. “Oh, that’d not a piano song, I’m afraid. Do you like that one?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, grinning. “I practice it a lot on drums.”

“It’s a good beginner song – have you been doing the wrist exercises I told you to?” he asked, grabbing Theodore’s hand and gently testing his joints. “Ah, I see you have.”

“Yeah,” Theodore nodded. “And I’ve – I’ve also been studying, too. Doing all the extra credit you gave me for the holidays.”

“That’s very good, Theo,” Elías gave him a soft smile, gently pulling on his ear, just a little playful tug, making him whine, then laugh. “Your grades have improved so much since the beginning of the schoolyear.”

“They truly have,” Severus added, making Theodore’s eyes go wide, watching Severus with surprise as the professor said. “You’ve done well, Theodore.”

“O-oh,” the boy stuttered, feet tripping for a moment, Greg quickly moving his hand to catch the boy, grinning widely as Theodore flushed, smiling at his feet. “Thanks, professor Snape, professor Fernández.”

Elías looked over at Severus and smiled widely, the potioneer not returning his gaze but Elías knew he was talking, he was vocalizing praise for these kids already. Not only was he willing to change but he was pulling through, doing as he said he would. Elías wanted to hug him but he refrained, hearing Avery speak.

“So you… studied music?” the man asked and Elías nodded. “Where?”

“In Madrid,” he explained. “ _El Real Conservatorio Superior de Música de Madrid_.”

“Never heard of it,” Avery told him.

“Well, it _is_ muggle,” Elías laughed, shaking his head as Avery’s eyes widened. “Oh yeah, I went to muggle college after Hogwarts.”

“That is… interesting, to say the least,” Avery muttered, glancing at him, up and down, sizing Elías. “So what? You just… lived as a muggle?”

“Yep,” the Astronomy Professor nodded, giving a little tilt of his head.

“And… how was it?” Draco asked shyly, making Elías look over at him, the boy quickly staring ahead.

“It was fun,” Elías told him, the other Slytherins looking mildly uncomfortable at the topic but Elías frankly did not care. “I loved going to college. I learned a lot.”

“Not enough to be a musician, it seems,” Avery pointed out with a smirk.

“Oh, I did,” Elías replied, giving a shrug. “I just realized I didn’t want to be a musician, in the end. It wasn’t for me.”

“And what _is_ for you?” Avery questioned.

“Who knows?” Elías laughed. “So far, I enjoy teaching a lot. I get to meet a lot of good people,” he patted Draco’s shoulder, the kid giving a small, shy smile before pointing at a door.

“It’s this one.”

Behind them, Elías could hear Sienna’s loud heels clicking but he focused on the beautiful music room that Corban opened the doors to, his eyes going wide – the rococo architecture, the alabaster columns, the tall French windows letting the light in…

“Oh, this is –“ he breathed, hand over his heart. “This is _gorgeous_.”

“Thank you,” he heard Lucius speak and Elías turned to see the man stepping forward, pride on his face. “This was built by my mother, this room in particular. She played cello and she would often come here to spend the summer days playing.”

“It has incredible acoustics, I can tell,” Elías breathed, seeing a grand piano, a harp and a cello – three instruments, beautiful ones in white with golden details. “I’m almost afraid of touching any of them,” he laughed.

“Oh, please do,” Narcissa waved it off, pushing Elías towards the piano. “None of us play, unfortunately. The last people to play…”

“Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter,” Lucius quickly said as Narcissa swallowed and Elías was suddenly reminded of Sirius telling him that he hated to play piano. Had it been Sirius? Elías couldn’t picture Sirius playing the piano at all – not when he played the guitar so… raw, so open, so absolutely _fully_ , with his entire heart.

“I will not be playing classical music,” Elías warned, slowly taking a seat upon the piano, giving Narcissa an apologetic look as nerves filled him – they were _all here_ , damn it, why was everyone here? He’d hoped the kids would be the only ones noticing he was entering the manor. “I don’t do well with music that doesn’t speak to me.”

“That’s just fine, Elías,” Narcissa chuckled, leaning into the piano and watching him. “Just play anything that you wish.”

“Very well,” Elías murmured, looking down at the piano before lifting the lid and finding the black keys clad in gold, making him blink. He gently pressed on one and the sound that came was pure and _absurdly_ perfect.

But music wasn’t meant to be perfect. Not to Elías.

“C’mere, Theo,” Elías patted the empty spot next to him on the piano bench, the teen quickly moving around the adults to take the spot obediently. “What type of instrument is the piano?” he asked him.

“Uh… I don’t know,” he frowned, hand moving to touch a white, ivory key.

“It’s a string instrument,” Elías smiled. “A string acoustic, actually. Each key has a designated hammer that presses down on a string. That’s how the piano works.”

“Oh. Oh! I didn’t know,” the kid blinked, playing a key again, smiling. “So you like string instruments?”

“Mhmm, I do,” he nodded. “Woodwinds are also wonderful. But string instruments have a certain… rawness that you can never achieve with any other – in _my_ opinion, of course,” he laughed a bit. “This song has a drum companion and if you like it, I can help you learn it, alright?”

“Alright,” Theodore nodded, hands on his thighs, waiting for Elías to begin.

He tested a few more keys before taking a deep breath and starting to play, magic flowing from his pores as other instruments joined, obviously startling everyone but the kids. He knew precisely what song to play and knew it would ring with quite a few people in the room.

“ _We laid our names to rest along the dotted line_ ,” he sang softly, knowing his voice wasn’t the best but playing the best he could to make up for it. “ _We left our date of birth and our history behind_.”

He saw Blaise leaning into Pansy, his arms moving around her shoulders but Elías focused first on the song and later on the people.

“ _We were full of life, we could barely hold it in - we were amateurs at war, strangers to suffering_ ,” Elías avoided looking at any adult in the room but he could feel the tension. “ _We made our families proud but scared at the same time. We promised we'd be safe, another lie from the front lines…_ ”

Theodore, beside him, watched the keys instead of Elías’ face and he hoped he was still listening, still taking it all in.

“ _Our backs against the wall, we're surrounded and afraid - our lives now in the hands of the soldiers taking aim. Our questions ricochet like broken satellites. How our bodies, born to heal become so prone to die?_ ”

The instruments that Elías played with his magic slowed down a bit, letting the room breathe for a moment, fingers running through the keys for the bridge of the song.

“ _Though time is ruthless, it showed us kindness in the end,_ ” Elías sang gently, his own voice echoing with the same musical magic that played the instruments. “ _By slowing down enough, a second chance to make amends - as life replayed, we heard a voice proclaim…_ _"Lay your weapons down, they're calling off the war._ ”

He noticed Narcissa’s hand moving to Draco’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

“ _On account of losing track,_ ” he kept going regardless. “ _Of what we're fighting for.’’_ _So we found our way back home, let our cuts and bruises heal while a brand-new war began - one that no one else could feel_.”

He played a little louder, let his fingers go harder on the keys, trying to press into ever movement how much he hoped they’d hear his next words.

“ _Our nights have grown so long, now we beg for sound advice. Let the brokenness be felt ‘til you reach the other side. There is goodness in the heart of every broken man who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he has. Losing everything he has, losing everything he has…_ ”

Once more, the instruments faded, leaving only Elías’ fingers on the piano keys.

“ _We were young enough to sign along the dotted line – to build a better life, to build a better life_ ,” he felt his arm brush Theodore’s, the boy leaning a bit closer, now watching his friends. “ _Now we're young enough to try to build a better life… to build a better… life._ ”

Foot on the pedal, letting the note fade slowly, Elías’ hands finally stopped and he took a deep breath, panting slightly, foot falling back on the floor. He was scared of looking at everyone else, who surely believed him to be getting into business that wasn’t his to begin with. Someone too young, they’d think, who had no idea about what they’d been through, when he knew exactly what blood had been spilled in this house.

Who knew too much, way too much that they probably didn’t want him to know.

A polite applause came and Elías gave a soft thank you, finally looking over to see the pessimistic, devastated and cynical faces of the group. The kids looked enchanted but Sienna looked like she’d eaten something sour, her hand tight on William’s elbow, Will himself seeming as if he’d been punched in the gut.

They’d heard the song. They did not believe it. And Elías realized with a little skip of his heartbeat that they wouldn’t unless they took the first step to get better.

“That was lovely,” Kiera dared to say and when Elías turned to her, he saw her kind smile and the slight hope in her eyes. “You’re a very good pianist. I didn’t expect the rest of the instruments, either.”

“Whatever was that spell?” Avery suddenly pulled Elías up from the piano, arm around his shoulder, looking almost excited as he began to walk out of the room. “That was magnificent! And wandless, too!”

“O-oh, well, I’ve been practicing that one a lot,” Elías laughed, letting himself be guided, his eyes finding Severus’ for a moment and quickly becoming breathless at the emotion he saw in them, the potioneer glancing away quickly, murmuring something to Corban who nodded.

“Tell us all about it,” Avery urged, patting his shoulder and Elías realized with a start that he was… being accepted by Tobias and Kiera, the both of them seemingly approving of him. It brought a sense of relief in him, his fingers twitching before he shifted his arm, letting Kiera hang off him more comfortably.

“Well, it starts with music theory…” he began, the rest following the little group outside once more. And well, even if Elías wasn’t really in the group, it was never what he’d wanted to be – he just wanted all these people to realize that they… they weren’t what everyone else claimed they were. They weren’t Slytherin House students for life. They were just people, capable of moving on, of building a better foundation for the future generations.

For people like Theodore.


	59. Red and Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Look at me, updating on time, hehe
> 
> I wanted you all to please read this before the chapter, as this one in particular gets into intricacies and types of discrimination that I am in no place to delve into but that I wanted to include into the lore, into this story. For that, a very good friend of mine who has lived a very similar situation as Sirius, has taken over the part where he speaks about how he feels on being mixed and being denied his own culture. I am a white, queer, transgender man who has never experienced racism or any of those feelings and I urge you all to listen to people of color when it comes to speaking on this. Denying it could happen is part of systemic racism and, adding people of color into this story, I did not want to simply close my eyes and go "welp! nothing I can do!". So I took the time to speak to my friend and try and understand. 
> 
> Keep in mind that when it comes to these kind of issues, I will never try and speak for people of color and I will always make sure to ask, understand and run my writing through them for approval. I also understand that one person does not speak for everybody, too, and I hope you all understand it as well. In times like this, it's more important than ever to listen to folk who have been under the pressure of systemic racism for too long. And in case it wasn't clear by now - Black Lives Matter and All Cops are fucking Bastards. And Harry Potter would agree.
> 
> I urge anyone who is reading this fic, if I ever step over the line, to please engage with me and talk with me. Thank you so much for reading and I hope that you're all able to enjoy this chapter, regardless, for the wonderful Sirius Black development it has. It was a joy to write :)
> 
> Songs Featured in this Chapter:  
> \- Landslide by Fleetwood Mac  
> \- Dreams by Fleetwood Mac  
> \- (While I was writing, I listened to Neptune by Sleeping At Last. A very good Sirius song).
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> (Discussions of:)  
> \- Racism  
> \- Xenophobia  
> \- Cultural Genocide  
> \- Suicide  
> \- Abusive households  
> \- Toxic relationships  
> \- Family death/Friend death  
> \- Ableism  
> \- Cult/Cult Tactics

** PLEASE, READ CHAPTER NOTE ABOVE **

* * *

In Hogsmeade there was yet another storm.

Elías looked up at the skin from under his umbrella spell, his wand pointed upwards and his other hand clutching the goodies he’d brought tightly. It was late – absurdly late, in fact, almost midnight, but Elías couldn’t sleep and he kept thinking too much of Narcissa, of Regulus, of Sirius. Especially the latter, stuck in this Shack, waiting for something, anything to happen while sitting on his hands.

So Elías was here now, gently pushing the door open, tilting his wand before he let the spell fizzle away, water falling onto the rotting floorboards instead of him. The storm had reopened a few leaks and Elías made sure to wave his wand at them, wood shifting to cover the holes as he climbed up the stairs, hearing Sirius playing again, his voice drifting around. The Spaniard paused in front of the door, listening to him for a moment, unable to help the small smile on his lips.

“ _Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?_ ” Elías mouthed along to Sirius’ singing, hand over the doorknob. “ _Well, I've been afraid of changing, ‘cause I've built my life around you but time makes you bolder, even children get older… and I'm getting older too…_ ”

Elías walked into the room but Sirius didn’t seem surprised, sitting by the window, leaning against the wall as he glanced over at Elías, playing the bridge of the song, giving a small, tired smile. Elías simply took off his coat, laid it over the bed and moved to sit down in front of Sirius, giving him a small beam.

“Hey,” Sirius murmured.

“Hi,” Elías whispered back, seeing the easy way Sirius’ fingers ran through the strings, making him feel a little better despite all the awful emotions threatening to pull him down. “Mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead,” Sirius nodded, continuing with the song. “ _Well, I've been afraid of changing, ‘cause I've built my life around you but time makes you bolder, even children get older and I'm getting older too…_ ”

“ _Oh, I'm getting older too,_ ” Elías sang along quietly, letting Sirius be the main voice.

“ _Oh, take my love, take it down, oh, climb a mountain and turn around and if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills… Well the landslide will bring it down. And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills, well the landslide will bring it down, oh oh… The landslide will bring it down._ ”

Sirius finished with a simple strum, taking a deep breath before he sighed deeply, letting the guitar rest over his lap. Elías leaned in slightly to rest his chin on the heel of his hand, watching the Gryffindor before Sirius spoke.

“You’ve got good taste,” he told the Spaniard and Elías laughed.

“Everyone likes Fleetwood Mac,” he replied, smiling. “And Landslide is a classic, too.”

“I never liked it,” Sirius confessed, hand running through the polished wood of Elías’ acoustic guitar, giving a little chuckle. “I’m surprised I do, now.”

“I’m not,” Elías said, shrugging a bit. “I used to hate a lot of songs that I love now. That’s what it means to change, Sirius. And I dislike a lot of songs that I used to really love as a teenager, too.”

“Yeah,” Sirius ran a hand through his hair and then looked fully at Elías, seemingly pushing away his faraway thoughts, nudging his knee with his own. “What are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Elías confessed, giving a little guilty laugh. “And for some reason I felt like you couldn’t, either.”

“Seer powers strike again,” Sirius pulled on Elías’ braid gently, making Elías laugh a bit. “Yeah, I couldn’t… I couldn’t sleep. Restless, you know?”

“Understandable, you’re stuck here and the rain can’t make it easy,” Elías nodded, stretching a bit with a sigh. “Any sign of Pettigrew?”

“Actually, yes,” Sirius told him and Elías jumped a bit, eyes wide. “I saw him on the map – briefly, _so_ briefly on the western courtyard. I went outside at night to see if he was still there but I couldn’t track him.”

“Shit,” Elías murmured, hand running over his mouth. “That’s good though! It means that –“

“He’s still here,” Sirius nodded, eyes dark. “The moment he slips up, we’re going to fucking catch him.”

“Yes, we will,” Elías said firmly, breathing out before rubbing his face. “Oh, Gods, that’s – that’s actually a relief.”

“I know,” Sirius rubbed the side of his neck, looking out the window, swallowing. “I… also saw Harry.”

“Sirius –“

“Not – you know,” he quickly added, wincing. “From afar, alright? He was going to the kitchens with Weasley. Ron Weasley, the kid who Peter stayed with. I just happened to see them through the windows, is all… He…” Sirius swallowed and Elías’ heart broke. “He looked much better, you know? Almost – happier.”

“Well, he _is_ officially away from the Dursley’s,” Elías told him softly, trying to see how best to break the news in, hands gripping his knees. “And… well, there’s something else.”

Sirius’ eyes broke away from the rainy exterior, steel greys on Elías now, looking a bit surprised, a bit eager at some news. Elías sighed, chewing on his lower lip before beginning to speak slowly.

“I… impulsively, stupidly, without thinking first…” he began, wincing. “…offered myself to be Harry’s legal guardian.”

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up, eyes growing wide, his jaw dropping and Elías groaned a bit, “It was super impulsive and super stupid to do at the moment but I know I can take care of him and –“

“I think,” Sirius interrupted slowly, making Elías’ jaw click shut. “That sometimes, the kind gestures are the ones that are allowed to be impulsive.”

“This was a big decision,” Elías countered. “Severus and Remus were… not happy that I’d done it so quickly.”

“I mean – this _is_ a bit decision, yeah,” Sirius admitted, nodding, looking for once in his life like he wasn’t leading to a joke. “But Harry is a child that won’t have to be in the system forever, you know? Orphanages… they can be brutal for magic kids.”

“So I’ve been told,” Elías murmured, sighing. “It’s what – what made me… just sign, you know? I knew I had the means, I know that I – I _can_ take care of Harry’s basic needs at the very least.”

“You are going to try and adopt Harry Potter,” Sirius laughed a bit, hand over his face, leaning forward to his knees, shoulders hunched. “You just – you have the _means_ , Merlin, do you know how you sound?”

“Like an idiot?” Elías asked quietly, voice breaking.

“You sound like a kind fucking person, that’s what you sound like,” Sirius told him, grunting as he pulled on his hair a bit. “And here I – I kept thinking of fucking – you being some secret Deatheater or some shit. Fuck. Shite. _Fuck_.”

Elías swallowed, uncomfortable, looking away, “So you’re still with the Slytherin –“

“You can’t blame me –“

“I can’t blame you for this bias but I _will_ call it out and make you own up to it,” Elías snapped, making Sirius freeze. “Just because you know you’ve a bias doesn’t make it so that it’s all fine. Acknowledging that you’ve a problem is a step in the right direction but if you stay in that step, I’ve no fucking sympathy, alright?”

Sirius looked away, frowning, looking bothered but unable to reply to Elías on that. Elías just sighed, uncomfortable. This wasn’t how he wanted this visit to go but apparently the two of them were in the same mood – melancholic, sad, a little bit angry at the world.

“I brought you something,” Elías said softly, trying to make some amends, watching Sirius wince and turn to him. “It’s not to make you feel guilty, alright? I brought it before we began to talk so don’t… do that thing where you’re like _oh I’m such an ass_ and just feel like shit all night.”

“How – can you read me so well?” Sirius laughed mirthlessly.

“Because I do the same shit,” Elías muttered, reaching into his bag and pulling out a knitted, fluffy, huge blanket. “I know it’s getting warmer by the day but at night, it gets super cold here and that old blanket is probably awful and super scratchy. So I got you this.”

“…thank you,” Sirius murmured, gently taking it, breathing out with surprise at just how soft it was and, just like Elías, he immediately brought it to his face, rubbing against the fabric. “Oh, this is _so nice_ ,” he laughed a bit, smiling at Elías kindly. “Thank you, angel.”

“S’no trouble,” Elías reassured, taking out a thermos. “Here’s some warm decaf, too? Remus told me you really like coffee so I brought you a huge amount. It’s just a latte?”

“I take it black but thank you, that’s so good,” Sirius breathed, rushing to grab the bottle and uncap it, breathing in, letting out an almost-sob as he smelled it. “I haven’t had coffee in _twelve years_.”

“That’s a crime,” Elías grinned as he took a long sip, looking the happiest Elías had ever seen the man, something settling in his stomach. “Do you like bitter flavors?”

“Yeah, they’re the best,” Sirius capped the thermos, smiling at him.

“Like my ma,” Elías laughed, nodding. “I’m not for bitter, I like sour but – hey, to each their own. I uh, also got you another game?”

“Oh?” Sirius’ eyes lit up and he accepted the cartridge, looking at the name with a little quirk to his lips. “These are really fun. My favorite so far is Zelda, I’ll be honest.”

“It’s a good one,” Elías grinned immediately. “I really do love videogames, it brought me closer to my cousin Jaime. He’s basically my big brother.”

“You got a big family, right?” Sirius murmured, touching the blanket and unfolding it, setting it over Elías’ and his own lap, the Spaniard saying a soft thank you in response.

“Yeah, I do,” he nodded, hands shifting the rings on his fingers, turning them around, watching Sirius. “Like, Spanish kind of big,” he laughed as Sirius chuckled. “Not pureblood, not… you know, important in the wizarding world. But important to me, yeah?”

“I see,” Sirius murmured, rubbing his nose a bit. “I – well, I had a big family, as well. But I didn’t get along with them.”

“With Narcissa you did, right?” Elías retorted and Sirius winced a bit. “No?”

“We did get along, if we were alone,” he explained. “But I did hang out a lot with Andromeda, before she got married and… was disowned by all of my family and shite.”

“Right. Andromeda, the big… sister? Is she the oldest?” Elías asked.

“Mhmm. Married Tonks,” Sirius nodded. “The three sisters are Andromeda, Narcissa and Bellatrix. Bella’s the youngest.”

“Huh,” Elías blinked. “I thought… Bellatrix was the middle child?”

“Oh no,” Sirius breathed, eyes a bit tired. “No, no, Bella is the youngest. She’s my age.”

“So you went to school together?” Elías was trying to picture it, a younger Bellatrix and not the woman he’d seen in front of the Longbottoms next to that brown-haired man whom he now knew to be Bartemius Crouch Junior.

“For the first four years, yeah,” Sirius told him. “Then she went to Durmstrang, actually.”

“No shit?” Elías’ eyebrows shot up. “In Latvia? Really?”

“They’re good with healers,” Sirius snorted and Elías gaped.

“No – _no_ , she – she _studied to be a mediwitch_?” the Spaniard wheezed. “No fucking _way_. But she’s –“ Elías paused, trying to find a nicer way of saying it but Sirius beat him to it.

“Fucking _batshit insane_? Yeah, she is,” Sirius gritted his teeth a bit, glaring at the blankets. “But they were three girls – which means a lawyer, a politician and a doctor.”

“The… three most influential careers in the wizarding world,” Elías murmured, feeling his stomach clench painfully. “Andromeda… studied to be a lawyer?”

“She’s a lawyer, yes,” Sirius nodded. “Narcissa does charity work, is a backhand politician of sorts. She’s a huge influence over the Wizarding Council and she’s – well, it’s got to do with French relations. I won’t pretend to fully understand.”

“Right,” Elías murmured. “So… Bellatrix studied to… be a mediwitch.”

“She was pretty much brainwashed since she was a child,” Sirius lifted his knees towards his chest, arms moving around them, resting his chin on top. “She was nasty. Angry. _Mean_. She was like a rabid dog but she was always _so sweet_ when the adults were around. She almost scratched my eye out, once.”

“Yikes,” Elías mumbled, wincing.

“I hated her. I think I hated her more than I hated my mother,” Sirius laughed a bit, the sound bitter and raw, making Elías purse his lips a bit. “And oh, she hated me back. She thought I was the worst thing to ever happen to our family. She hated me and my face and my voice and anything I ever did.”

Elías watched Sirius with increasing sadness, chewing on the inside of his cheek, not knowing what to say. It didn’t matter what he did, he realized pretty soon, because they’d always end up talking about his family. It was obvious that the man wanted to vent, to talk about them, to talk about his experience – had he also spoken to James about it? To Remus and Peter? To Lily or Dorcas or any of the other friends that were either dead or dead inside?

“Does she still hate you?” Elías dared to ask.

“Yeah, probably,” Sirius shrugged, rolling his eyes. “But by now I don’t give a fuck about it. I used to.”

“Give a fuck about Bellatrix?”

“Give a fuck about things,” Sirius replied. “In – in general. If someone in my life is less than willing to work shit out, then why should I? Fuck off, I’m not here to solve your problems with _me_. If you don’t like the way I present myself to the world, the way I’m happy? Then don’t fucking bother with me.”

“I… understand that feeling,” Elías confessed softly.

“You? Mr. Big Family Man?” Sirius laughed and Elías gave a little chuckle.

“Wasn’t always like that,” he murmured, making Sirius fall quiet. “Remus doesn’t really know the extent of it – nobody… does, except an old friend from college whom I – I absolutely unloaded to, y’know?”

“The way I’m doing with you?” Sirius smirked a bit and Elías chuckled.

“Pretty much, yeah. But – but it wasn’t pretty,” Elías mumbled, rubbing his nose. “In fact, it was very, _very_ ugly, when I was a teenager. Especially with my sister.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment, watching Elías with a frown and Elías decided to elaborate a little bit, hand moving to squeeze his own wrist, pressing on the bone a bit to calm himself down.

“…and my mother, too,” Elías finally added, making Sirius swallow.

“How bad?” the Gryffindor asked.

“I genuinely hated my sister,” Elías said, the words bitter and gross in his mouth, feeling shame crawl up his spine. “I hated her with my whole heart. Whenever we spoke, I wanted her to know how much she’d hurt me over the years – I wouldn’t let us move _on_ , you know? She wouldn’t be the most willing but I – I blamed her for things that only I had control over, or only ma had control over. It wasn’t her fault that – that she was just… better.”

“I don’t know about better,” Sirius told him, moving a bit closer. “Better can be a lot of things, angel. Doesn’t mean better _person_.”

“No, but she sometimes was much better person than me,” Elías told him, leaving aside his pride, which was spread all over the rotten floorboards. “Like, she – she could be mean, y’know? But I was, too. I was so very fucking… _mean_ to her. I told her awful things and – and even if they were half-true or partially right, it doesn’t make it any less cruel. I wanted a sister to rely on when I was going through bad shit but I never…”

“…never was a brother for her,” Sirius finished when Elías’ voice broke, fingers finding Elías’ arm and gently squeezing over the snake crawling around his skin. “No, I – I know what that’s like.”

“I think about like,” Elías laughed a bit, eyes wet. “How long? I spent? Just _hating her_ , using her as a scapegoat for every single thing that went wrong in my life. Whatever issue I had, whatever anger I felt, I always directed it to her. And again, Sirius, she wasn’t _good_ or _nice_ to me but _Gods_ – I was such an _ass_.”

“What happened?” Sirius asked him. “For – for you two to… get better, I mean.”

“I apologized,” Elías told Sirius and Sirius visibly _recoiled_ , making Elías laugh. “I know, right? Hardest shit I ever did.”

“You – but – seriously?” Sirius was grimacing hard, looking almost disgusted. “What – what did she even do to _you_ , anyway? Was she like Bellatrix or something?”

“No, no, never to that extent,” Elías quickly told him. “She was judgy – _very_ judgy. She was bitter because I turned out to be something she didn’t like, didn’t expect. She had these very obvious expectations of whom I would be and I… turned out to be, you know, a loner, a nerd, a geek, all the things that were seen as strange and freaky by everyone else. Everything I did was embarrassing for her – I wasn’t pretty or thin or popular or any of the things that she wished I’d been.”

“Fuck her, then,” Sirius told Elías, firmly. “The hell? And she hated you for it?”

“No, no, Elena never hated me,” Elías shook his head, sighing. “She just… she thought she knew who I was, better than I knew myself. She was – she was _so_ stubborn about it, too, you know? She thought I was just this… attention-seeking person who wanted to be as _special_ as I could, so I came out as queer and didn’t care about dying my hair or wearing weird clothes. I liked them. But she thought it was all for the attention. And she let me know daily that I was weird, I was fat, I was doing it all for attention and I’d never amount to anything.”

“Merlin, _Merlin_ , she sounds fucking awful,” Sirius said through gritted teeth.

“She was the worst nightmare of my teenage self!” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “Nah, she – she just wouldn’t leave me alone. Sometimes still doesn’t but I’ve learned to ignore her.”

“Then why keep her around?” Sirius asked, frowning at Elías. “Why – why keep someone who wants you to change and be someone else?”

“Because she apologized back,” Elías replied, quietly, making Sirius fall quiet. “She… has much to learn. Much to understand. And I know she can, and she will, in her own time. I won’t help her, it’s never been a fight I could win and I recognize that now. But – well, I love her.”

“How can you?” Sirius muttered, swallowing hard. “How could you – you love someone out of sheer – _fuck_ ,” he rubbed his face hard. “Just – how can you _love_ her after all that?”

“I don’t know,” Elías confessed, shrugging, honest. “I cannot, for the love of Morpheus, tell you, I’ll be honest. I somehow do. I somehow… trust her with certain things.”

“Like what?” Sirius murmured, looking tired.

“If I get into a fight, she’ll be the first to come by, finish it, drag me to the hospital and make sure I’m alright,” Elías told him, giving a small smile. “If I’m in deep fucking trouble? My sister will come barreling through anyone and anything to help me, to save me. She will move hell and earth, I know her. She calls me to tell me about her day, because she wants to share it with me, wants me to know. When I’m sad, when I’m down… I can sit down and have an honest conversation with her.”

Elías scrubbed at the tears in his eyes, trying to breathe past the thick knot in his throat, swallowing one, two, three times before it finally left.

“A-and I mean,” he laughed a bit. “When I uh, when I tried to kill myself the third time, she was the only one who thought of checking on me so, she… saved my life.”

“Fuck,” Sirius breathed, eyes running through Elías’ face. “Angel –“

“It was – it’s fine, it was years ago,” the Slytherin waved it all off, shaking his head. “I just – I’m an emotional man. Can’t help it, I cry with everything.”

“Me too,” Sirius seemed to want to reach out, hands stuttering but he ended up not touching Elías, simply watching him. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?” Elías laughed, trying to push all that heaviness away, sitting up a bit.

“About…” Sirius made a vague gesture, grunting. “Fuck, words won’t come out – uh… I’m sorry that you felt that way, once. I won’t pretend to know anything about your life, I’m not that kind of wanker that says _oh I understand_ when I _don’t_ , y’know.”

“I’m not that kind of asshole either,” Elías chuckled, face finally dry and eyes tender and red. “You tell me a lot about your family and I know it’s – it’s because you _want_ to talk about it, Sirius, and I happen to be here and all but… I thought it deserves some uh, reciprocity, yeah?”

“I don’t need it,” Sirius told him, then hesitated. “But… it _is_ appreciated.”

“I’m good with my family, now – closer to my parents than I’ve ever been,” Elías told Sirius, who nodded slowly. “I have the luxury to have very kind people who are willing to get informed and learn from past mistakes. It wasn’t always like that but we all worked hard to understand each other. That’s where I’ve been lucky – incredibly so. I know… a lot of times it ends up with uh…”

“…sixteen year olds leaving home screaming until your little brother walks out of the house to punch you? Yeah,” Sirius gave a barking laugh, pulling a bit at his hair. “My house… it was all about the purity and shite. _Tourjours Pur_. That’s the motto.”

“French?” Elías frowned.

“The Black are Franco-British,” Sirius explained. “Not really, though, but they love to pretend they are.”

“Eesh,” Elías winced. “So… racism galore?”

“Racism _and_ colorism galore,” Sirius gestured at himself. “My brother was lightskin and I’m a bit darker soooo… yeah. Regulus was more of a favorite from the get-go.”

“Gods, that’s so – it just makes me physically uncomfortable,” Elías said, shifting in his spot.

“Yeah, so, I – there wasn’t much to forgive, you know? It was just plain bigotry,” Sirius sighed, leaning into the wall a bit. “But you don’t know much about the racism part, I’m guessing.”

“I’d guessed there had been some, what with… the whole shtick British Sacred Families or whatever they’re called have,” Elías told him and Sirius nodded. “Man, like – what about other families composed of black people? Or brown people? Or Asian people? Cause I know that since there’s uh, lack? Not many? Purebloods, there’s a shortage and people basically –“

“Trade daughters from other countries? _Yeah_ ,” Sirius laughed and Elías felt his stomach churn. “That was my mother. She was brainwashed into thinking she was white and she tried so hard to be white, too. It was awful – it doesn’t excuse the shit she did to us but uh… yeah, it was really fucking sad.”

“Vietnamese, right?” Elías murmured and Sirius nodded.

“I wanted to learn Vietnamese. Hell, I wanted to _meet_ my family and I never could,” he snorted, looking irritated. “She pretended they were all gone. Merlin, my mother was – she just separated me from all of it.”

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” Elías whispered. “I can’t say I understand but if someone ever tried to pull me away from my culture, my country… it’d make me feel awful.”

“It’s a part you never get to understand, within yourself,” Sirius said quietly. “It’s – it’s a whole other world and you feel like an outsider when you’re on one side. But I know if I went to Vietnam and met my mother’s family… I’d probably feel like an outsider, too.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Elías could offer.

“Eh, she’s dead now,” Sirius shrugged, looking at his lap, touching the soft blanket. “All of them are – my father, my mother, my brother… it’s what you get when you become a fucking – fascist to the bone. Genocidal wankers.”

“If it’s any consolation,” Elías nudged him with a foot, making Sirius look up. “When we catch Pettigrew, you get to rebuild the House of Black.”

“What?” Sirius frowned.

“You’re the last heir of the Black House, right?” Elías told him, making Sirius blink. “Which means you inherit the Black House. You can change the motto, you can change the values, you can change everything for the next generation of Blacks.”

“What generation?” Sirius looked amused.

“Whichever comes,” Elías shrugged. “Tonks. And Draco. They’re part of your House and you can teach them better values than _tourjours pur_ , yeah?”

“I’m sure Tonks knows already. Draco, on the other hand…” he winced.

“He’s not a bad boy,” Elías told Sirius, chuckling. “Spoiled? Yes. A brat? Yes. Does he need a lesson? Yes, absolutely. But he’s not a lost cause, you know. And he’s got really good friends that can steer him the right way. You could be a proper uncle.”

“Getting back into that house, though…” Sirius muttered, wincing. “Shite, if I ever did go back to London, I’d rip my eyes off. I hate that house.”

“Tear it down, then,” Elías shrugged and Sirius laughed.

“You’ve got answers for everything, don’t you, angelface?” he smirked at Elías, who gave a wide grin.

“Sometimes the answers are way simpler than we believe them to be,” Elías told him. “You hate that house? Grab a crew, empty it out, take anything that you want to keep and throw away or donate anything you don’t want. Rebuild the house. Make it something you can call home – you and anyone who wants to live with you.”

“Is that what you did with your home?” Sirius asked quietly.

“No,” Elías admitted. “I wish I could’ve. That house is gone, the one in Belgium. The one in Madrid is not gone but… well, I don’t have to be there if I don’t want to. And I don’t want to.”

“I could get a new house,” Sirius said softly, looking at his hands. “Leave Grimmauld Place alone…”

“You could also do that,” Elías nodded, giving him a small smile. “The good thing, Sirius, is that your future is now wholly yours to decide.”

“Kind of scary, to think about,” Sirius murmured. “And… lonely.”

“Not necessarily,” Elías nudged him, Sirius’ greys looking into Elías’ bright, optimistic blues. “You’ve got Remus back, now. And you’ll have Harry – and let me tell you, he comes with a _lot_ of friends,” he laughed, making Sirius chuckle. “The Weasley’s, for example! And the Grangers, I suppose.”

“And you,” Sirius added, stunning Elías for a moment, the Spaniard blinking. “…I-I mean, if you –“

“No, yeah, you – _yeah_ ,” Elías laughed a bit, hand moving over Sirius’ for a moment, squeezing, giving him a smile. “Sorry, it just surprised me but – I guess by now we _are_ friends, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sirius laughed and Elías chose that very instant to be honest.

“So this is a great moment to also tell you that Severus figured out that I’ve seen you and I know you’re innocent, right?” he blurted out, making Sirius freeze, his smile instantly dropping. “It… took me a moment to convince him you’re innocent but I _did_.”

“Did you _tell him_ –“ Sirius looked _furious_ , snatching his hand away and Elías raised his, eyes wide.

“No, no, no! I didn’t tell him you’re here! He was hounding me for answers and I told him very firmly that I wasn’t going to say anymore _shit_ to him. I promise!”

“ _Fucking hell_ ,” Sirius curved, pulling the blanket over his face before _screaming into it_ , making Elías wince. “Really? Really?! _Really_. Snape. You _had_ to tell Snape.”

“I told him that you’re innocent and that I saw you and let you go, that is _all_ ,” Elías said to Sirius, firmly. “That Pettigrew is the real perpetrator.”

“Oh, and he believed you?” Sirius sneered.

“Yes,” Elías said quietly, making Sirius look away with haste. “Yes, Sirius. He was beyond angry, he… we had a big blowout. But if we want to catch Pettigrew –“

“We can do it ourselves,” Sirius snapped.

“We could but why wouldn’t we take any _help_?” Elías whispered, a bit hurt. “Look, I know you two have had your differences in the past and there’s a lot of bad blood but I _trust_ Severus with this. He could help us find Pettigrew, alright?”

“Or he could send me back to Azkaban and take _you_ with me!” Sirius snapped and Elías took a deep breath, rubbing his temple with two fingers.

“He wouldn’t do that,” Elías told Sirius, slightly annoyed. “In case I haven’t made it clear enough by now, Severus and I are _friends_.”

“So was Pettigrew with us,” Sirius pointed out, face twisted into anger.

“And so were you with everyone else, then,” Elías threw back and Sirius glared. “Look – Severus gains _nothing_ by sending you and I to Azkaban –“

“He’s a low-life Deatheater shithead that enjoys inflicting pain on others,” Sirius told Elías firmly. “And I don’t _understand_ what the fuck kind of drugs you’re on for you to think he’s _soooo_ sweet and attentive! Just – are you _mental_?”

“Maybe I’m just not _you_ ,” Elías retorted and Sirius threw his hands up, giving up, seemingly, looking frustrated. “Look, Sirius, it’s been _years_. Is it really that hard to think the man has changed?”

“Yes!” Sirius told him, waving his hands. “Hello?! The bloke is an absolute fucking _misogynist!_ How the fuck can’t you see it?”

“He used to be. He’s changing for the better, Sirius,” Elías told him patiently. “In fact, today he apologized to me. And he is willing to change a lot, you know? He’s demonstrating that he can. That’s all I care about, Sirius.”

“Angel, you’re mental, I _swear_ ,” Sirius groaned into his hands, shoulders dropping. “Bloody Severus fucking _Snape_. I’ll never understand what you s –“

“I sincerely hope one day you do,” Elías cut in, swallowing hard, seeing Sirius look up from between his fingers. “I hope that one day, you two can have a normal conversation and feel no hatred, no hurt when you see each other. I hope that one day you’ll wake up and you’ll wish no ill-will to any of the people that were manipulated and brainwashed in young, vulnerable moments of their life to join a cult designed to alienate you from everyone who could get you out of it.”

Sirius looked away quickly, clearly uncomfortable and he did not say anything else so Elías sighed, exhausted, feeling the day’s emotions catch up to him.

“You know where I was, today?” he told Sirius.

“Where?” Sirius muttered, sounding just as tired.

“The Malfoy Manor, having _brunch_ with a bunch of ex Deatheaters,” Elías said and Sirius looked nauseous. “And it was the first time that I was meeting a lot of them. Like Avery, Gibbon, Jugson, Zabini, the Parkinsons –“

“Fucking _hell_ , Zabini? Sienna Zabini?” Sirius looked at him, eyes wide. “You know she _murders_ men after she marries them to get their money, right? She’s been married four times and it’s happened every single fucking time.”

“That’s just a rumor,” Elías dismissed, rolling his eyes. “She’s scary on her own, it’s easy to believe that she’s a murderer but I assure you, she’s scary because she’s a _mother_ , most of all. She’s deeply protective. She’s like a hissing snake and she isn’t afraid to use poison. You know what I drew out of my interactions with her?”

“What?”

“That she’s scared of me,” Elías told him, making Sirius frown deeply. “That she sees me as a threat to her son, to her friends, to her loved ones. She’s got a whole group to take care of and the only way she can do it is by applying what she’s learned from the cult – don’t let outsiders in, make sure everyone has each other’s backs and if someone doesn’t have the guts to face her and everyone else, then they don’t deserve to be in the group.”

“That sounds like she needs fucking therapy,” Sirius snorted.

“She does,” Elías nodded, making Sirius stare with surprise. “Sirius, holy _shit_ , are you se – no, I’m not doing that. Fuck – you _all_ need fucking therapy!”

“Not… not _really_ ,” Sirius began to pull defenses around him and Elías rolled his eyes.

“You the _most_ , dickhead, do _not_ deny it,” he snorted.

“I’m not Bella, I’m not fucked in the head,” Sirius told him firmly.

“That’s an extremely narrow-minded way to look at therapy, and a very harmful one, too,” Elías frowned. “You all have been through all kinds of traumatic fucking events, Sirius, and on top that, a _war_. So dude – you need fucking therapy.”

“I… don’t need it,” Sirius sighed, looking uncomfortable. “I’m doing just fine.”

“You’ve been through a lot, Padfoot,” Elías reached over for Sirius’ hand slowly, fingers gently wrapping around his hand, thumb rubbing the back of it. He realized now that near the wrist of his right arm there was a tattoo but he couldn’t see it very well. “There’s no shame in going to therapy, you know. It’s not just about getting through it all on your own or with help or… whatever it is that’s holding you back. It’s not _weak_ or _stupid_ to go to therapy. A professional talks to you, helps you dissect every little thing that you’re holding in and lays it on the table for you to see a bit clearer. It’s – it’s like wearing glasses!”

“Right,” Sirius muttered, looking at Elías’ tattooed fingers, thumb brushing over his middle one before sighing. “I just – I don’t like it. Can’t I just talk to a friend? Can’t I just talk to _you_? Talking to you… Look, angel, I-I feel better whenever we do, even if… I feel sad at first. I sleep better. I… always sleep better when you come over.”

Elías’ chest tightened and he felt tenderness shake him a bit, wishing he could do what Sirius wanted.

“I’m not a professional, Sirius,” Elías told him quietly, his other hand moving to fully hold Sirius’, watching the man look up at him, exhausted and too open, letting Elías run his fingers through the pages of his book. “I wish I could sit here and listen to you and help you out but I am not trained for it. And it will also burn me out – trust me, I’ve tried to be a therapist before. And someone else has been my therapy friend.”

“And what happened?” Sirius croaked.

“We couldn’t save each other,” Elías muttered, swallowing. “We both were fucked in the head, too, y’know. I’ve bipolar disorder and anxiety. And he had awful obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety, as well. We were both in college and we made music to… feel. To let it all out. And we used each other as friend and therapist. And it was awful.”

“Did it fuck you up?” Sirius asked. “His… his shit?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded. “And mine fucked _him_ up. A friend can lend an ear but not forever, you know? That’s why psychologists exist. That’s why they’re medically trained, alright?”

“…alright,” Sirius sighed, his head moving to rest on Elías’ shoulder, guitar shifting on his lap and Elías wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “I don’t want to fuck anyone up with my shit.”

“I know,” Elías sighed, hugging him, his hands moving from his shoulders to gently pet his hair, feeling Sirius melt into his embrace. “I know what it’s like to keep fucking up, over and over again. To want to get better and just make mistake after mistake.”

“Of course you do,” Sirius rasped, hands moving to grasp Elías’ knees. “Of _course_ you do.”

“Trust me when I say,” Elías laughed a bit, his nose against Sirius’ shoulder. “That what you need is medical help, a roadtrip to nowhere and a nice, cold beer at the beach.”

Sirius groaned, “I’d do anything for that. _Anything_.”

“This summer, this summer,” Elías assured, letting Sirius sit straight, finding his grey eyes wet. Elías reached over, brushing them away with careful fingers. “Right now we can’t do much about… anything. But I _am_ here and I can uh, provide the little things – like a soft blanket, some coffee, some music, some company.”

“They’re not little,” Sirius told him with a quiet laugh, looking choked up, hands still on his knees. “Fuck, angel, they mean _everything_ to be right now.”

Elías felt emotion crawl up his throat and he let out a little breathy wheeze as well, which could pass for a laugh, and he rubbed his face.

“But – Remus also comes by, right?”

“He does, yeah,” Sirius nodded. “Very often, mostly in the mornings now? We uh, talk a lot. But I feel like it’s… superficial, you know? We don’t talk about what we _really_ want to talk. We talk about his father, about the… plans for the future. Things that are happening in the outside world but… never about the important things.”

“You’ll be able to, I think, once you get out of here,” Elías sighed. “We’re just all at a stallmate.”

Sirius snorted and Elías blinked at him, surprised at his reaction.

“What?” he asked.

“Do you mean a _stalemate_? As in – chess? A deadlock. You can’t progress any further,” he snickered and Elías blushed hard, shoving his hands from his knees as Sirius laughed loudly.

“Shut _up_! You knew what I meant, didn’t you?!” he huffed, looking away and crossing his arms. “Stallmate, stalemate, at least _I_ know three languages! How many do you know?!”

“Angel – _angel_ , it’s _fine_ , it was just _funny_ ,” Sirius giggled, trying to grab Elías’ hands but the Spaniard didn’t let him, huffing and kicking at him a bit. “Come ooon, alright – alright, I’m sorry, yeah? I’m only a lowlife Brit that can speak the easiest language ever made.”

“Stupidest,” Elías told him before pausing. “Actually, no, that’s French.”

Sirius laughed loudly, finally able to grab Elías’ fingers, making his arms relax and Elías gave him a little amused smile.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius laughed. “It’s stalemate.”

“Stalemate,” Elías repeated, American accent easily coming.

“You’re _such_ a great accent,” Sirius grinned and Elías gave a little sheepish smile. “I love American accents. When I was a teen, I wanted to have a southern American accent.”

“Those are _great_ ,” Elías laughed. “I did work hard with the accent I have now. I _can_ imitate British, though. And I can let go and just speak with normal Spanish accent – usually do so when I’m drunk or just too lazy to care.”

“Let me hear it?” Sirius’ eyes sparkled with interest. “Spanish accent, come on.”

“Nooo, no, I don’t think so,” Elías laughed, shaking his head.

“No, no, please! Show me! Now I’m so curious!” Sirius grinned.

“People made fun of that accent for _years_ , I’m _not_ going to do it,” Elías told him, glaring playfully and Sirius gave a scoff.

“Well, fuck those people,” he told Elías, squeezing his hands, giving Elías a big, honest smile. “Just do it. Come on. I want to hear you and I swear I won’t make fun of you.”

“Alright, alright, _fine_ ,” Elías sighed, rolling his eyes before letting his jaw and tongue loosen, relief flooding him a bit as he let the American accent go and just spoke normally, Spanish accent as thick as his cousins, looking at Sirius. “I’ll be honest, this feels so much better than forcing the American accent. It makes me trip over my tongue.”

“Bloody _hell_ ,” Sirius grinned, laughing, looking delighted. “ _Merlin_ , that’s –“

“I told you,” Elías laughed back, realizing that Sirius’ hands were rougher than the average wizard, familiar guitar callouses along with wand and others. “Thick accent.”

“That’s brilliant, that’s – I _love_ it,” Sirius breathed, making Elías feel his stomach swoop for a moment, quickly glancing away. “No, no, I mean it!”

“It’s hard to understand,” Elías shrugged.

“Not at all! No, it’s not!” Sirius assured.

“Maybe for _you_. And I mean, I can’t – I like having an American accent. I like working for it and having people ask me where I’m from. I worked hard for people to think I’m a native English speaker.”

“You take pride in your English?” Sirius asked curiously and Elías nodded. “Was it hard? To learn it?”

“Yeah,” Elías laughed. “But – well, now I’m here. And sometimes English is even more comfortable than Spanish.”

“Wow, really?” Sirius looked surprised but Elías nodded. “I wish I knew more languages.”

“You can always learn,” Elías replied, smiling. “I’m learning German this summer, if I can. Intensive course, if I’ve the time.”

“You want to learn more?” Sirius gave a laugh. “Really?”

“Yeah! Why not? German’s great, it sounds amazing,” Elías chuckled.

“I don’t – I wish I could learn but reading is awful for me,” Sirius told Elías, making the Spaniard blink. “I wish I could, I mean – it’s always been bad.”

“What do you mean bad?” Elías asked, starting to think about a certain thing.

“I had a really hard time learning the alphabet, for example,” Sirius explained, laughing. “Oh, that was awful. When mother taught me to read, I didn’t understand that words were broken into sounds? I had trouble saying simple words – like, really simple! Like map, cat, trap or something like that, yeah?”

“So you hated learning,” Elías muttered, starting to understand.

“Yep,” Sirius sighed, eyes on the ceiling. “Learned to read sooo very slowly. I _hated_ to read out loud, and I was… I mean, I was technically mute? For like a year? I _refused_ to talk because I kept stumbling over words. I confused words that were alike or just – changed the syllables and their place on a word. And I _still_ have the, ah, that thing, that last thing. Putting syllables in the wrong order. I’m just _that_ stupid so like, I – never bothered to do well at school. It’s fin –”

“Sirius, you’ve dyslexia,” Elías told him, surprised, making the Gryffindor blink.

“I’ve what?” he asked and Elías felt his heart sink.

“Dyslexia,” the Slytherin murmured, hands squeezing his. “It’s a learning disorder. It’s a biological thing – Sirius, you’re not stupid, you didn’t fail school, school failed _you_.”

“What do you – _what_?” the man breathed, looking at Elías wide-eyed. “You – you mean I… what, I’m sick or something?”

“No!” Elías gave him a small smile. “Not at all! My uncle is dyslexic and he did fine at school because they adapted to what he needed! You _literally_ had your hands tied in this, Sirius, it’s – there’s _so_ many resources for you to be able to read alright and learn now!”

Sirius looked both incredibly gutted and incredibly relieved at the same time, his hand moving away from Elías’ and running through his hair, looking away.

“Oh,” he mumbled.

“I’ll bring you some info about it, alright?” Elías told him, patting his knee, eyes soft. “Are you alright?”

“I… don’t know,” Sirius whispered. “Is… do a lot of people have it?”

“I don’t know how much, but it’s not that uncommon,” Elías gave a little shrug. “It’s not the end of the world. It’s – it’s like being near-sighted! Yeah? But imagine that instead of giving you glasses, people just thought you were lazy. That’s what it was like for you. You just need your glasses, Sirius, that’s all.”

“Okay,” Sirius rubbed his face, sighing deeply. “Merlin, dys…lexia, you said?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, smiling at him when Sirius finally dropped his hands.

“And you say… there’s ways for me to fix it?”

“Not fix it, it’s not something you can make go away,” Elías explained. “But there’s methods for you to be able to read better. And exercises and the like! We can go to a speech therapist, too, and look up more things.”

“So I’m not just stupid?” Sirius asked, eyebrows shooting up.

“No!” Elías told him firmly, hands moving to press against Sirius’ cheeks, his lips jutting out like a fish, making the Gryffindor laugh. “You’re not stupid. You’re just _dumb_. There _is_ a difference. I think you’re intelligent in the magical field, in certain things. But when it comes to understanding me and the rest of the Slytherins, you’re _pretty_ fucking dumb. And also at being responsible.”

“Weren’t you supposed to make me feel better?” he laughed and Elías reached up to kiss his forehead, sitting back down and putting his hands away.

“You’re not stupid for not being able to read right, Sirius,” Elías told him firmly.

“Thank you, angel,” Sirius gave a real smile, eyes dropping to his lap for a moment, sighing deeply. “Fuck. This… makes me feel worse and better at the same time. Worse because of all that time wasted when I could’ve found a solution. And better because hey, it wasn’t my fucking _fault_.”

“It really wasn’t,” Elías agreed, watching Sirius take a sip of his decaf. “Feels good to put a name on it, doesn’t it?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Sirius laughed, smiling at him widely before his hand moving to squeeze his. “Thanks, angel. Whenever I see your pretty face around here, you end up making things better.”

“Not pretty,” Elías told him, lifting a finger. “But thank you. I hope it does make you feel better.”

“Not pretty, alright,” Sirius nodded, abiding. “Handsome?”

“Handsome is good, yes,” Elías smiled softly. “Sorry, it’s just – I don’t like pretty.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to excuse yourself,” Sirius waved his hand and Elías felt relief behind his tongue. “But uh – yeah, angel. Basically – I owe you. So much.”

“Please, just go to therapy, that’s how you repay me,” Elías told him and Sirius laughed a bit, nodding.

“I will,” he promised, voice softer, making Elías smile before Sirius picked up the guitar again, looking down at it. “Any request?”

“Since we’re doing Fleetwood Mac,” Elías leaned back, hands on the floorboards, grinning before he began to magically play the beginning drums of _Dreams_ , making Sirius’ face light up, fingers moving quick to play along. Then the two began to sing together.

“ _Now here you go again. You say you want your freedom. Well, who am I to keep you down? It's only right that you should play the way you feel it…_ ”


	60. Whole, Clean, Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After such a chapter of Sirius development, I bring you SEVERUS DEVELOPMENT. AND LORE.
> 
> SO MUCH LORE, GUYS, I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT, FINALLY I CAN START WITH SOME REAL PLOT.
> 
> This Chapter is Powered by:  
> \- Vera Lynn on repeat in Spotify  
> \- The Sea Always Seems to Put Me at Easy by Being As An Ocean
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Therapy talk  
> \- Death of a Friend  
> \- Emotional outburst  
> \- Panic Attack

Elías began his last free morning extremely early, with a healthy dose of coffee, sitting on a chair in his garden and drinking from his biggest mug as he opened a thick, old book that had cost him quite a bit, back in Cartagena. He was still craving those crispy Ostara rosemary potatoes so he’d made them into hash browns, despite being closer to Beltane now, and they certainly helped with the lack of sleep he’d gotten, playing way too many songs with Sirius.

The book, thankfully, was one of the tomes in Spanish that he and Severus had taken from Estefanía’s Library – _El Arte Prohibido del Tiempo_. Or _The Forbidden Art of Time_ , in English. The book was quite old and Elías found himself looking at words that he did not know the meaning of in his own language, that didn’t appear in the dictionary, either, that he’d have to ask his mother about. Turns of phrases as well and sometimes even just downright written in Arab.

 _The Forbidden Art of Time_ had been written by an anonymous author from Granada, apparently, who had experimented thoroughly with the sands of time they’d acquired by breaking a Time Turner. The first chapters were dedicated to that, exactly, and how they’d done it, making Elías blink a few times at the high-skill magic and advanced theorem spewed between the pages. Whomever had done this, they had known very well how magic interacted with certain metals and crystalized materials, which pointed to them being an alchemist.

A lot of the terms were too complicated and Elías had to pull out some books from his library to remind himself what the basics were, ending up sitting on the floor in front of the couch, books and notes spread all over his coffee table. Not only did he need to remember old terms and words and theories that were antique in both the magic and muggle world but he also needed to remember the time period, the historical context and how society had worked in Al-Andalus.

It was _truly fascinating_ and Elías sank on the pillows stewn between the coffee table and the couch, still wearing his comfortable pajama shorts and a too-big ratty old shirt, his hair an absolute mess. But inside, he was walking through the streets of Granada in much older times, reading about his studies and his apprenticeship with a man who rejected Time Magic in all its forms. It felt more like a scientific journal than anything so the first chapters Elías had to take way too many notes on words he did not understand.

By the time his wrist and lower back began to ache, he felt thoroughly satisfied about his progress for the day, stretching hard, legs under the coffee table. He put down his fountain pen and stood, looking at the time and startling when he realized it was already noon, the short hand of the clock pointing at the very top. Elías felt worry washing over him, biting his lower lip as he thought of Severus, tense and jumpy in a psychologist’s office. Would he be alright? Would he let himself open up? What if he had a panic attack? What if he was scared –

Elías took a deep breath, hand over the back of his couch, trying to calm down. There was no reason for him to think that Severus couldn’t take care of himself. He had been for a long time… granted, poorly, maybe. But –

The Slytherin shook it off, pulling a bit on a strand of his hair, deciding that the best course of action was just taking a nice, long shower and getting ready for the day, at the very least. He had to make lunch and start thinking about which room exactly he wanted to clear – it didn’t really matter, though, because if Harry _did_ come to live here, he would himself choose which room to stay in. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t cleared up, Elías would make it Harry’s space if the boy wanted it to be.

For today, at least, he had everything he needed – paint, paint rollers, covers for the floor, some tape and the best tool of all; his wand. He set everything out in the corner of the living room and moved on to the shower, getting ready for the day, already feel productive and thus in a good mood, if only a little anxious about Severus.

It was around an hour later, when he was lowering the stairs that he heard the floo network of his home being activated and his heart stopped for a moment. Quickly, Elías sped down the stairs and entered his living room, watching Severus stumble inside and grip the back of the dining chair with a shaky hand, hunched over, breathing hard. He lacked his usual overtunic and his hair seemed like it’d been pulled back but the silk that he used had come loose and was falling down to the tile flooring, Severus’ face hidden by a curtain of black.

“Sev,” Elías breathed, rushing to him before hesitating as he reached his side, his hand slowly moving to touch Severus’ arm. “Are –”

“ _Don’t touch it!_ ” he snarled, arm moving away, pulling back so violently that the man almost fell to the floor, Elías’ eyes going wide, heart in his throat, seeing the redness around his eyes, the anguish in them, all the emotions that he kept at bay rising to the surface little bubbling champagne.

It was then when Elías noticed that he’d reached for his left arm and he quickly raised his hands, speaking in a gentle tone, trying to look harmless and compliant.

“I will not touch your left arm again, Severus,” he assured softly, looking at the way the potioneer panted and gasped. The leftovers of a panic attack. “Look – look at me. Sev? Could you look at me, please?”

“I can’t,” he croaked, voice breaking and Elías nodded calmly.

“That’s fine – is anything hurting? Did you hurt yourself on the way here?”

“N-no,” Severus stuttered, hand moving to his forehead, stumbling back a bit, making Elías take a step forward in case he fell. “My _head_ …”

“Can I touch you?” Elías asked quietly, voice at a low level, hands still lifted.

Severus’ eyes dazedly moved from the floor to Elías, finally, but only to his shoulder. He seemed to ponder it for a moment, looking at Elías’ tattoed hands before nodding and, the moment Severus gave him the green light, Elías was approaching him and slowly wrapping his fingers around Severus’, feeling his pulse going hard against the thin skin of his palm. The man was obviously spooked beyond belief and he’d – Severus trusted him in this moment of weakness.

Elías swallowed down the sudden emotion that threatened to overwhelm him and he squeezed Severus’ hand, slowly working him into accepting more touch. Once their palms were against each other, Elías began to pull him towards the couch where he could comfortably sit, managing to get him there and flop down on the most comfortable spot. Severus’ knees basically buckled and Elías slowly pulled away to go get a glass of cool water and a spare ibuprofen from his medicine cabinet, sitting down as well but on the coffee table, pushing aside his notes.

“Here you go,” Elías murmured and Severus accepted both, swiftly swallowing down the pill and chasing it with some water, breathing out hard as he finished the entire glass in one go. Slowly, Elías took the glass and set it on the corner of the table, turning to Severus. “Better?”

“Yes,” Severus sighed, his voice much tamer, much calmer. Elías reached over to pat his arm – his right one – and gently squeeze. “I… forgive me, I –”

“Nothing to forgive,” Elías interrupted with a small smile, assuring him, Severus’ tormented eyes finding Elías’ calm blues.

Severus stared for a moment, throat working past a thousand knots, surely. Outside, a seagull cried out but Elías just kept stroking his arm, bringing him back down to earth gently, making sure Severus wouldn’t float away in the hurricane residing within him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elías asked when Severus found nothing to say, gaping like a fish, struggling.

“I don’t know how,” Severus confessed.

“Do you want to cry?” Elías questioned instead and Severus’ breath hitched, eyes immediately watering and Elías felt his heart break, seeing the potioneer’s breath picking up again. “Oh, _Sev…_ ”

Elías reached out to brush some of his hair out of his face as Severus began to cry so very quietly, not making a noise, holding back, his fingers turning to shaky fists and his eyes squeezed shut.

“No, _no_ , _cielo_ , _ay_ …” Elías whispered, arms moving around Severus’ neck, pulling his face to his chest, hearing his gasp and feeling his hands snap to grip Elías’ thighs tightly, digging his nails in but Elías bared through it, his own fingers running through Severus’ soft hair. “It’s okay, please, _please_ , don’t hold back, just let it _out_ , it’s _okay_.”

“I f-feel so o-out of c-c-con _trol_ ,” Severus hissed out, his head pushing into Elías’ chest hard, making Elías breathe out slowly. “I can’t – I _c-cannot_ –“

“It’s okay, Sev,” Elías whispered to him. “There’s nothing wrong with letting go. There’s no one here. There is _no one here_. Just you and me. Only you and me.”

He felt Severus pull back, almost snap away, his back pressing to the backrest of the couch and his hands rubbing hard at his eyes, Elías watching him, seeing him shake, grit his teeth and breathe in. He choked on a word, shook his head, ran his hands through his hair and gripped it tightly before his eyes locked onto the ceiling, chest stuttering on his next breath.

And suddenly, deep in the stomach, with a sort of vibration that was familiar to Elías when he was ten, Severus let out a throat-tearing _scream_ of frustration.

The Astronomy Professor gripped the coffee table tight, feeling the air around him tremble with sudden unleashed magic, windows and doors slamming open, the glass of one _breaking_. His eyes widened and he felt almost dizzy for a moment before Severus’ voice broke, his scream cut off and –

Stillness. Calmness. Elías’ eyes wide and his knuckles white. He watched Severus pant in his living room couch, magic buzzing around him like static, passing over Elías’ palm as he reached for Severus’ crestfallen face, still whimpering.

“Oh, _Sev_ ,” Elías murmured, standing from the coffee table, hunching over a little bit as to not stand tall and he cupped Severus’ face, feeling the man just _give in_ , the weight of his head dropping into Elías’ touch. “It’s gonna be alright,” Elías promised him so softly, sliding next to Severus, his free arm moving around his shoulders, pulling Severus into a gentle hold. “It’s going to be alright, _cielo_. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

The squeak of one of his windows made him look up for a moment but he focused on comforting the other professor, feeling Severus’ hand tightly gripping the back of his shirt, his face against Elías’ shoulder. The burst of emotional magic had blown his windows and doors open and now that Elías looked around, he could see a few other cracks on the glass– nothing a quick _reparo_ couldn’t do, of course. He’d just never seen something like that, to that extent.

“It’s okay to be hurting,” Elías told Severus in a whisper against the top of his head, his thumb brushing away his tears, feeling the man shake in his arms. “It’s understandable. Today a lot of things that harmed you were brought up and one of the steps of healing is this, Sev, letting yourself _hurt_.”

“T-that’s what Doctor Ahuja s-said, too,” Severus stuttered and Elías’ heart skipped as Severus’ other hand seemed to search for his over his face, Elías gently entwining their fingers. “It… it was the _h-hardest thing_ I’ve _ever_ done.”

“But you did it,” Elías told him, smiling a bit as Severus began to pull away, sitting up, looking exhausted as he rubbed his face with one hand, the other tight on Elías’.  
“I… did it,” Severus sighed, relief in his voice and Elías grinned widely, squeezing his fingers to draw his attention, Severus’ sad eyes finding his.

“Sev – you _did it_ ,” Elías insisted, making Severus swallowed, nodding. “I’m so fucking _proud_ of you, my _Gods_ ,” he laughed, reaching for Severus’ jaw, stroking his wet cheek with a gentle thumb, giving him a bright smile. “Look at you. Look at you! You did it!”

“I did it,” Severus repeated, breath hitching, eyes growing a bit wide. “I… did it. I _did it_.”

“You did!” Elías laughed, throwing himself at Severus and hugging him tightly, feeling the man immediately wrap his arms around Elías as well, the thunderous beat of Severus’ heart reaching Elías’ ears. “You can do _anything_! Because you went to therapy and you talked about your feelings and your trauma and you’re _alive_ , you know what that means?”

“That… next time it’ll be easier,” Severus rasped and Elías pulled away, still smiling, looking at Severus with the happiest face. “That I… I can do it.”

“You can do _anything_ ,” Elías told him, voice dripping with passion and sincerity, Severus’ stunned eyes on his as the Spaniard took his face with firm hands, leaning a bit more into him, feeling Severus’ hands stutter to his waist, holding Elías back. “You’re changing, you’re _working to be better_ and I can’t begin to _tell you_ just how much admiration I hold for you because of it.”

Severus’ eyes shined again, this time with unshed tears and he visibly swallowed, jaw tight, fingers curling tighter on Elías’ clothes.

“None of your perceived failures or disgraces have ever touched your capacity to grow, to learn, to love,” Elías told him in a whisper, emotion also rising in the back of his throat, spilling from his mouth with every word, pressing closer, making sure Severus _heard_ him. “You are whole, you are clean, you are _free_. So live as whole, live as clean, live as free. I know that you’re afraid of being hurt again, stabbed in the back by those sworn to protect you and taken advantage of by those that never cared for you and what it’d do to you. I know you’re scared, Sev, Gods, _Gods_ , you’re _terrified_.

“And _so am I_ ,” he added as Severus simply stared, hanging onto his every word. “We’re all scared. But you’re a beautiful piece of biological engineering, with heart and consciousness, with spirit and _magic_ , and I believe that you can do _anything_ ,” he laughed a bit, watching his friend, chest tight. “Severus, I _believe_ in you. And not – not just _blindly_ , you’ve proven to me that you can be a better man than anyone ever thought.”

Severus rasped out, “I want… to be a – a better man.”

“Well, you’re on the right path,” Elías said, laughing a bit as he pulled his hands back, scrubbing at his own tears. “Oh, Gods, I’m sorry – I’m crying, too.”

“Don’t…” Severus trailed off, looking over Elías’ face before his eyes moved to the ceiling, leaning into the backrest again, sighing, his head resting over the knitted blanket Elías loved. “Don’t be sorry.”

“Emotional baby,” Elías joked, laughing a bit but Severus shook his head, wincing, sitting up a bit as his arm moved around Elías’ shoulder, cupping the back of his head, making Elías freeze at the gesture.

“No, you’re not,” Severus told him firmly, his voice still sore but his eyes firm, none of the hurricane of blue feelings from before. “You’re an incredibly impassioned man that has showed me, time and time again, that your greatest strength is the way you feel about – about other people and certain concepts. Justice, enlightenment, retribution, freedom, it doesn’t matter what it is, you _always_ deliver your thoughts with honesty. And it does not matter to me anymore that you do so in a lachrymose disposition, it doesn’t seem mawkish to me anymore, it just - it is only a sign that what you feel is _important to you_. I do not care that you’re emotional, Elías. In fact –”

He let out a little laugh, making Elías’ heart sing at the sight of his lips curling, even just a little bit, Elías’ hands falling to his lap as he slowly relaxed into Severus’ touch.

“In fact, I’m quite fond of it,” he whispered, slowly brushing a strand of wet hair out of Elías’ wet lips, pushing it behind his ear.

“Are you?” Elías laughed, sniffling a bit, rubbing his nose.

“Somehow,” Severus sighed, his morose demeanor vanishing as he rolled his still somewhat wet eyes, making Elías giggle. “You’ve managed to make me fond of you.”

“Good,” Elías patted Severus’ chest, grinning wide. “Because I’m quite fond of you, as well, Sev.”

Severus did not reply to that, looking away from Elías and suddenly frowning at the state of his windows and unhinged doors, swallowing.

“I… did not mean for that to happen,” he uttered but Elías shook his head.

“It’s alright,” he assured the potioneer, standing from the couch, realizing just then that he’d been halfway on top of Severus’ lap, looking for his wand somewhere in the living room. “Nothing some magic can’t do.”

“Still,” Severus sighed, watching Elías putter about. “It’s incredibly rude – and _dangerous_. I did not mean to destroy your home, Elías. I’m sorry.”

“You’re forgiven,” Elías nodded, giving him a small smile before leaning down to careful take his wand from between shards of glass, wincing as he pricked his finger. “Ouch!”

“Elías,” Severus scolded, standing and walking over to him immediately, taking his sliced finger between his. “You ought to be more careful.”

“Sorry,” Elías mumbled, seeing Severus pull out his own wand and hover the tip over the bleeding wound, a soft green light appearing and gentle cold washing over the split skin. Elías watched, surprised and fascinated, as it closet up completely, making him blink. “You know _healing magic_?”

“Everyone should,” Severus replied and Elías laughed.

“That’s true, but I mean – still impressive,” Elías grinned, looking over his finger, nodding to himself. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Severus murmured before he glanced around, giving a loud sigh. “Very well, it’s best if we avoid another dangerous situation.”

With that, he lifted his own wand and the glass moved back to the windows, sealing perfectly, hinges repaired and windows shutting slowly, the mess completely clean, Elías nodding to himself.

“Thank you,” he said once more, stepping close to the coffee table and leaving his wand there as Severus slid his own wand back into its holster. “Gods, that was uh, kind of a lot, huh?”

“It was a lot,” Severus admitted, nodding, hand moving to his face, grunting. “Could I use the bathroom?”

“Middle door in the hallway,” Elías pointed out, Severus nodding and walking to it, leaving Elías to sit on the couch and try and collect himself a bit, laughing to himself.

A year ago, if he’d been told that he and Severus were this close, he would’ve probably thrown two hexes and a sucker punch for good measure. He knew from experience that a lot could happen in a year but he hadn’t expected this much change, this much… emotion. Elías had half a mind to write down somewhere to give his therapist a call, just so he’d remember. And his psychiatrist, too, for good measure. Try to be on meds again instead of having to rely on others to tell him when he was falling into an episode.

When Severus came back from the bathroom, he looked much better – composed, standing straight, his expression less guarded and less anguished. He looked almost relaxed, Elías would dare to say, as he stood over the coffee table, looking curiously at Elías’ notes, picking up one of the pages and reading over it with his eyebrows raised.

“You know, most people would stick to a single language,” Severus pointed out and Elías flushed

“Leave me and my frenglispanish notes alone,” he kicked at his foot a bit and Severus gave a chuckle, turning the page a bit and humming. “Is there anything you know?” Elías asked, watching Severus eagerly. “I’ve been reading _The Forbidden Art of Time_ this morning but I just started it. There’s a _lot_ of old Castilian in there and I’m trying to read through it first and take notes on things I don’t fully comprehend, then looking those up and reading again.”

“It’s a good method,” Severus hummed, watching a particular page full of Elías’ slanted handwriting. “Al-kimiya is alchemy.”

Elías blinked, surprised, “It is?”

“Mhmm,” the potioneer nodded, moving to sit down next to Elías, grabbing his pen from the table. “The word al-kimiya is an Arabic word composed of two parts; khēmeía, meaning _chemistry_ , and al, which is the –”

“Arabic definite article, yeah, meaning _the_ ,” Elías nodded.

“A lot of words in your language descend from Arab,” Severus explained.

“Most of the words that have _al_ at the beginning are Arabic, yeah, like almohada. In fact, a _lot_ of common words come from Arab. Jarabe, taza, zanahoria, azúcar, azafrán, acerite, aceituna,” Elías shrugged, giving him a smile. “We’ve got a rich history here in the south, what with being Al-Andalus and all.”

“Indeed,” Severus nodded, eyes moving back to Elías’ notes, reading with intelligent eyes, the Spaniard waiting for his verdict. “ _Pseudopigráfico_ I’m guessing is pseudepigrapha, which are falsely attributed works, texts whose claimed author is not the true author – a work whose real author attributed it to a figure of the past.”

“Oh! I didn’t find it in the dictionary,” Elías told him, legs folding over the couch, watching Severus. “Any other thing?”

“Zosimos,” Severus lifted his hand with the notes Elías had written, humming. “Zosimos of Panopolis. He traced the alchemical arts back to Egyptian metallurgical and ceremonial practices. He’s the only alchemist whose work was preserved but we do know that his work is based off other alchemists. Unfortunately, though, those authors have only been mentioned in the texts that have been found.”

“Oh,” Elías blinked before rushing to grab one of the books he’d pulled out of his library, looking through the pages frantically before finding the one he’d marked, showing Severus the map full of notes. “This is from the Omeyan Caliphate.”

“Umayyad,” Severus corrected. “Omeya is Spanish.”

“Sorry,” Elías said sheepishly before tapping it. “Egypt and Spain – well, not Spain but Al-Andalus – were once under the same Caliphate. Which would explain why the south of my country is just full of alchemists? Maybe? The author of this book certainly draws from it and he often talks about the state of the Caliphate in the other side of the Mediterranean.”

“But what does _alchemy_ have to do with Time Magic?” Severus frowned, grasping the book, pulling it to him and looking over the map, reading over it before pausing. “…could you pass me your notes?”

“Sure,” Elías nodded, grabbing the three pages before giving them to Severus, who read over them with a deep frown. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You said this author is from the Umayyad Caliphate,” Severus told him, frowning deeply. “Does he speak of his age?”

“Uh… a bit?” Elías grabbed the book, looking through the first pages. “He’s in an apprenticeship as far as I’ve read but he’s already spoken of _extensive years studying potioneering_ or some shit around what now is Morocco, I think.”

“Who’s ruling over Hispania?” Severus asked, leaning into Elías’ space and scanning the pages.

“Musa bin Nusayr,” Elías replied easily, having heard enough of him in just the first few chapters. “He’s the governor.”

“That’s 703 to 715 A.D.,” Severus told him, frustrated.

“Yeah? So?” Elías frowned. “We’ve got a timeline, that’s good.”

“So if this person, who is definitely not young, who from your notes I’ve gathered speaks in first person, writes this as a journal of sorts…” Severus lifted his eyebrows up. “…has a time turner in the early 8th Century?”

Elías paused, blinking at him, mouth opening for a moment before he quickly closed it, looking down at his notes again right before Severus snatched them and touched a finger over a name that Elías had to look for.

“Jābir ibn Hayyān,” Elías spoke.

“Alchemist as well, influential one who introduced experimentation instead of the simple study and discussion of the subject that the Greeks intended,” Severus explained. “He was born in 715 A.D.”

Elías’ mouth went dry and Severus leaned back, letting out a slow breath.

“So… the book is fake?” Elías asked slowly.

“Or,” Severus rubbed his jaw, snorting. “Or we finally came across a time traveler.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Elías whispered, looking down at the book, hands tight. “How – how possible is it? In the 8th Century?”

“In _any_ century,” Severus deadpanned, shaking his head. “Future traveling has never been accomplished and if it has been, nobody’s come back or lived to speak of it.”

“Unspeakables exist,” Elías pointed out, pursing his lips. “Is it _possible_ , though?”

“I do not know,” Severus replied, shrugging and Elías looked down at the book, reading over the writing. “It could all be an elaborate piece of fiction.”

“We can’t prove or disprove it, though,” Elías said, frustrated. “It’s _anonymous_.”

“Does anything of what they say ring any truth?” Severus cocked his head at Elías. “As, well, someone who has dealt with Time Magic.”

“They mostly speak of the time turner, I’ll be honest,” Elías murmured, sighing. “I feel like this isn’t – like it’s a journal, really. And someone just slapped a title over it. It doesn’t have dates but it does have high details of things I _do_ know for a fact were real in the Iberian Middle Ages. He describes Granada… just beautifully, the streets and the buildings and – it’s all real, Sev, at least that part is.”

“How are you so sure?” Severus frowned.

“My mother is an archeologist,” Elías told him and Severus blinked hard. “She studied archeology, history, geology and tourism. If I were to bring this to her –”

“Does she know you’re getting involved in Time Magic?” Severus asked dryly and Elías sighed, rubbing his face. “I thought so. This isn’t something we can consult with just anyone.”

“It really isn’t,” Elías muttered, chewing on his lower lip. “If it’s fiction, if it’s someone just writing a book on this random alchemist character… then I’m going to be really fucking disappointed,” he laughed a bit. “Because this is the first thing I’ve ever seen on time traveling.”

“He doesn’t speak at all of it?” Severus asked, moving closer, looking over the open book before passing a few pages. “…it’s old Spanish.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit hard to read,” Elías murmured. “And I’m pretty sure it was translated from Arab, too. There are some phrases that I just can’t understand and it feels like when I read something in another language.”

“Hm,” was all Severus said, that furrow in his brow a bit tight, glancing once against at Elías’ notes before he muttered. “You’re impeccable handwriting.”

Elías was surprised, turning to Severus with a small smile, “…thank you.”

“We’ve got to investigate this book further,” Severus told him, eyes scanning the maps and notes and the book before he sighed. “Shame it’s in a language I truly do not have a grasp of. Do let me know when you finish it and don’t stop taking notes, alright?”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, gently tucking away those notes and setting the thick book down on the table. “I’ve to let you know, though,” he turned to Severus. “They break the time turner.”

“What?” Severus’ eyes widened. “Why would they _break it_?”

“It’s got to do with the sands, I think,” Elías murmured. “But really, just… where does the time sand come from? If the author is in the south of Spain, shouldn’t they like, I don’t know, have access to it? Or something?”

“The sands of time come from the Nexus Harenae,” Severus told him and Elías nodded, sighing. “We don’t really know _where_ it came from. And we _especially_ don’t know where we could find more.”

“But – okay,” Elías groaned, facing Severus. “I’m not asking about Atlantis and all that bullshit about the Nexus, I want to know _how_ these time turners came to _exist_ if nobody knows where he sands of time are!”

“That’s a trade secret,” Severus snorted. “Belarmino Alvarado was tortured and killed for the location of the Nexus Harenae and his family had to go into hiding for _two centuries_. And when they finally came out of hiding, their house was raided to find any time turner by the Spanish monarchy and they only found _one_.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the story – they were all found in Egypt and Greece, the British empire robbed them all, they’re all now in the Department of Mysteries, blah blah blah,” Elías sighed, pursing his lips. “This doesn’t help with _anything_.”

“We do have a time turner at Hogwarts…” Severus pointed out, eyes narrowing with intent and Elías’ feathers instantly _puffed_.

“No, we are _not_ taking Hermione’s time turner,” he stated firmly. “That girl has been breaking her back this year to do all her courses and she’s been a _perfect_ student. If we ever broke her trust and took the time turner to experiment on it and the Ministry of Magic found out? She would _never_ trust us again, she would be _crushed_ and she would very probably get in trouble. So no, Severus, I will _not_ take her time turner.”

“Fair enough,” Severus nodded, sighing. “That leaves us with nothing, though.”

“That’s not true, we’ve got this book,” Elías replied, tapping the cover with a hum. “All we’ve to do is go over it, study it together and find out whether it is true or not. We need to find who wrote it, _when_ exactly did they write it and if it’s possible for it to be a real journal.”

“Very well,” Severus agreed, glancing at Elías with a small twitch of his lips. “You’re much better about studying these books than you were when we got them.”

“I’m enjoying the research,” Elías laughed, grinning at him. “It’s frustrating, but my inner child is loving the mystery of this.”

“You… enjoy mystery?” Severus asked, voice strangely soft.

“Yep,” Elías nodded, then was reminded exactly who had loved mysteries. “Lily and I would’ve probably gotten along, huh? I love Agatha Christie, too.”

“How…” Severus muttered, recoiling a bit at the name, like a punch.

“You’re not the only one who knew her,” Elías told him softly, making Severus swallow and look away, a deep frown on his face. “Not that – I’m incriminating you of anything, alright? I’m just saying that I do love murder mysteries. And Remus told me that she loved them, too.”

“Her favorite was _The Murder of Roger Ackroyd_ ,” he said softly.

“I haven’t read that one, actually,” Elías told him, giving a small smile. “Maybe I should.”

“It’s good,” Severus murmured. “She had good taste with books. And she very often guessed the ending before she finished them. She would…” he gave a little laugh, eyes falling to his knees. “She’d grab a book and even just a few pages in, she’d lean over and tell me who the murderer was. If she was right, I would have to get her a strawberry twist. If she was wrong, she would get me a bag of those chewable coffee beans that stopped being sold in ’87.”

Elías laughed, “Was she often right?”

“She was,” Severus gave a full grin and Elías felt his heart ricochet inside his ribcage at the sight. “Lily could solve mysteries like no one else.”

“Wish she was here to help us,” Elías sighed, touching his ink-stained fingers and Severus sighed deeply. “I wouldn’t mind buying her half of Honeydukes for a single _clue_ on this.”

“She’d tell you the read the damn book first,” Severus snorted, looking over at Elías before his face softened considerably. “…thank you.”

“Of course,” Elías replied, beaming at him, hand moving to squeeze Severus’ hand. “Hey – hey, what’s your favorite food?”

“…what?” Severus stared, startled in his seat.

“What’s your favorite dish? A comfort dish for you?” Elías asked and Severus seemed for a moment like he was about to make a sarcastic quip when he muttered.

“Fesenjan.”

“Fe… what?” Elías did _not_ expect an answer like that.

“It’s Persian,” he explained. “Walnut and pomegranate stew with chicken or chickpeas – though I admit, I always use both.”

“That sounds _delicious_ ,” Elías grinned before he stood, hand still on Severus’, pulling on it a bit. “Let’s make it.”

“What?” Severus frowned. “Right now?”

“Yep!” Elías nodded, laughing. “Stand up! Come on, give me all the ingredients we’ll need and I’ll bring them all from the store.”

“You’re… leaving me alone in your home?” Severus frowned but stood.

“Well, it’s an open space out, Sev,” Elías told him. “The houses are all white, the sky is super big and I live in the middle of a beach in nowhere so uh, it’d be pretty fucking bad for you? So yeah, I’ll just go real quick to the store, get all the ingredients and be back in a bit.”

“That’s –” Severus’ fingers tightened on Elías’ and he breathed out. “Yes, I’d… very much like that. But we don’t have to cook –”

“ _Au contraire, mon ami_ ,” Elías told him, raising a finger as he dragged Severus to the kitchen. “Comfort food is _a necessity_ , especially after your first therapy session! You need a reward, ASAP, and I will bring all the good stuff right to your door! It is my duty as your friend and confidant!”

Severus chuckled, watching Elías with a fondly exasperated look, pulling on Elías’ hand until the Spaniard was facing him, hovering over the blonde and giving a smirk.

“Very well,” he stated, cocking his head. “But if you’re to indulge me, I call for red wine.”

Elías immediately pouted, “Sev, _noooo_ …”

“White doesn’t go with fesenjan, Elías. _Red_. And I want a Rioja,” he told him and Elías’ face changed a bit, grinning him a little smile. “To appease you.”

“Look at you, appealing to my Spanish sensibilities. Very well, _tinto_ it is,” he laughed, looking up at Severus with a grin as the potioneer’s shoulders eased, his face free of frowns, mouth upturned. “I like it when you smile,” Elías murmured, catching the other Slytherin off-guard, surprise written all over his face before he could tame his reaction. “I think I’m going to try and make you smile much, _much_ more often. If you’d allow me.”

“You –” Severus looked away, groaning, looking at the ceiling. “You’re doing it _again_ , Elías.”

“Don’t mean for it to fluster you,” Elías laughed. “I mean it – I want you to smile.”

“Then, just –“ Severus grunted before looking down at the younger Slytherin, free hand raising to pull on his ear, Elías just giggling at the gesture by now. “Just… keep being... keep being _you_.”

Elías felt his chest tighten with emotion at the words, murmuring, “I will.”

* * *

“You’re _wrong_.”

“I’m _right_.”

“You and your – ah! I can’t!” Elías threw his hands up, groaning. “Walnuts are _not supposed to be bitter_! That’s why you freeze them!”

“Walnuts are better when bitter,” Severus repeated, taking the orange peel and the pomegranate molasses and adding it to the pan, Elías watching with fascination. He’d never tasted this combination of flavors and he was very excited to taste – this time, Severus was leading the recipe completely and Elías simply jotted down the recipe, watching closely.

In the background, to make Severus a bit happier, Vera Lynn played from his record player instead of his usual magic. The garden doors were open, letting in the wonderful breeze of the afternoon as they both cooked. The light was gorgeous today, since it’d rained the night before over San Fernando and the air was crisp and clear. Elías felt more relaxed than he had in a long time, red wine in hand and Severus laughing next to him.

“You’re evil,” Elías told him, pointing at him with a single finger.

“So they say,” Severus smirked, making Elías laugh into his glass of wine. “At the very least I make it look good.”

“Hmm, you do,” Elías took a sip of his Rioja and set it on the counter as Severus added the broth onto the pan, writing that down as well. “You like pomegranates,” he pointed out.

“I do,” Severus nodded. “They’re my favorite fruit.”

Elías thought of the smell of pomegranates in the _Amortentia_ he’d brewed. It made sense now, that it was part of Severus’ cocktail of scents. Elías looked over at the man, how comfortable he looked in his kitchen, how he reached for the saffron almost without looking and even though Elías knew that he had an eidetic memory, it still made him feel like Severus knew his home, like Severus knew _him_.

“Mine is nectarine,” Elías told him, unprompted but Severus seemed to nod.

“You like sour flavors, so I’m guessing you like nectarines because they’re the tangiest version of a peach,” he said, making Elías nod, smiling a bit. Severus knew him. “You like peaches, too, then.”

“Yes, but not as much as a nectarine,” Elías said, making Severus chuckle.

“Funny,” he hummed, making Elías watch him with interest.

“What is funny?” he asked.

“Nectarine blossoms are an uncommon ingredient in potions,” Severus explained. “But they’re essential for calming elixirs. Věra had a knack for those. She would hand them to the girls in her village before moonsickness took over. They were always given with a nectarine pie of her own making.”

“Nectarine pie, wow,” Elías grinned. “Sounds wonderful. _She_ sounds wonderful, Sev.”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, checking the mixture in the pan before adding the chicken and chickpeas, inhaling deeply and Elías watched his eyelids flutter a bit. “I haven’t had fesenjan in a whole. I admit, now that it’s in front of me…”

Elías laughed, “Well, I’m glad I went to get it. Truly, you should be indulged right now.”

“Do not spoil me, Elías,” Severus chuckled. “I might become used to it.”

“We couldn’t possibly let that happen, now, would we?” Elías snickered, finding another smile on Severus’ face, one that stayed this time. “So,” Elías began, leaving his glass on the counter, crossing his arms as he leaned back. “About this afternoon – Remus is coming over later, as you know, to help me clear out a room. It’s a lot of magic lifting and I’d probably be drained by the end if I was alone, but with you two here –”

“For Potter, right?” Severus asked, no longer smiling but not making a disgusted face, either. Elías counted it as a win.

“Yes, for Harry,” Elías nodded.

“I’ll help,” Severus promised. “But I’ve seen the paint – there is no spell to do a paint job, Elías, unfortunately. If there is, I truly don’t know it.”

“It’s fine, painting a room is the _fun_ part,” Elías grinned widely. “The drying is what we can do with magic.”

“Painting a room is fun?” Severus asked, cocking an eyebrow at him, amused.

“Yes! Yes, it is! You put some funky music and just let go! It’s amazing!” Elías exclaimed.

“I’ve never painted a room, I wouldn’t know,” Severus replied and Elías gasped, hand slapping over his chest. “Oh, here it comes,” Severus rolled his eyes.

“You are _absolutely_ painting the room now!” Elías told him, moving to grip his right arm, trying not to visibly balk when he realized just how much muscle was there, toes curling inside his slippers.

“I am not going to cover myself in that awful _Gryffindor red paint_ that you got,” Severus curled his upper lip but Elías laughed.

“Yes, you are!” he told him, chin pressing to the top of his arm. “Because you’re my frieeeeend and you liiiiike meeeee~”

“You’re a nuisance. An absolute annoyance. Every time I assimilate peace around you, you’re quick to dismiss it with an absurd plan,” Severus told him, moving the stew around the pan before he turned to Elías, sighing. “…but you’re right.”

Elías laughed, pulling back so Severus could reach for his own glass of wine. “Yes!”

“If you tell Potter I helped, nobody will find your body,” Severus warned him and Elías raised his hands.

“I won’t tell! I promise!” he smiled, leaning back once more against the counter.

“Get the rice out,” Severus directed and Elías quickly moved, putting out the stove fire under the cooking rice, humming along to Vera Lynn.

“Smells wonderful,” Elías breathed, grinning as he brought it over to the sink to strain.

“Should we eat in the garden?” Severus asked him as he also shut down the fire under the stew, trying some of it and nodding to himself.

“Absolutely! It’s a wonderful day outside,” Elías smiled brightly.

“Alright,” Severus hummed. “Lupin won’t come to eat lunch?”

“No, he’s with his father,” Elías replied and Severus nodded, reaching for his wand and waving it to set the table in the garden, plates and cutlery flying through the back door. “It’s nice of you to think of him.”

“I didn’t,” Severus denied.

“You would’ve set a plate outside for him,” Elías replied and Severus pulled on his ear, making Elías giggle again. “Stop it!” he joked, smacking his arm.

“ _You_ stop it,” the potioneer teased back and Elías gave a wide grin, setting the rice over a bit serving plate and grabbing the naan he’d also made, because Severus had told him that it could be used as well, like pita bread. Severus finished with the garnish, too.

The two sat down at the garden table, under the big parasol installed since March began and Elías brought the rest of the wine as well, refilling Severus’ glass and sitting down with a happy grin, letting Severus serve him.

“This smells _wonderful_ ,” Elías told him, looking at the pomegranate and the parsley that had been spread over the rice and stew, looking up at Severus. “Thank you, I’ll treasure this recipe.”

“You’re very much welcome,” Severus hummed and Elías watched him take a forkful, bring it to his mouth and simply let peace wash over the man, his shoulders sinking and his eyes closing for a moment. Elías could watch him this relaxed all day.

In fact, as Elías also took a bite and rejoiced the Persian recipe, he _would_ watch him smile and be relaxed all day, he decided.


	61. Burgundy Paint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is ABSOLUTELY a self-indulgent filler chapter, which is why I updated today instead of tomorrow. I feel like it'd be a bit of fooling you guys, so - yay! Filler chapter with just... domesticity and three teachers being what we can almost call friends!
> 
> Songs in this Chapter:  
> \- Cold Cold Man by Saint Motel  
> \- Out of My League by Fitz and the Tantrums  
> \- Sit Next to Me by Foster the People  
> \- Bros by Wolf Alice
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Discussion of someone dead

Remus arrived around four in the afternoon, with lunch already over and the two Slytherins sitting on the couch, Elias with his nose buried into _The Forbidden Art of Time_ and Severus pouring over a Latin tome. Severus was the only one who looked up when Remus stepped out of the chimney and Remus was surprised to see the leftover smile playing on his lips, which quickly dropped when he saw the werewolf.

“Hey,” he greeted and Severus closed the book loudly, making Elias jump, the man blinking before his eyes found Remus, grinning at him and making Remus’ stomach flutter.

“Hey!” Elias called, putting the book on his coffee table and pulling himself off the couch, moving to Remus with a happy look. “You came!”

“I promised I would, didn’t I?” Remus chuckled, letting Elias hug him tightly, his hand patting Elias’ lower back. “How’s Dani?”

“He’s good. They’re all back in Brussels,” he sighed, rubbing his jaw. “And Romain still refuses to sign the divorce so uh, it’s just a big mess over there. But my parents are around, so I’m not too worried.”

“That’s good,” Remus sighed in relief, turning to Severus as the man stood and Remus did _not_ expect to see him in a simple shirt and some slacks, hair tied back. He was… almost casual, Remus dared to think. “Hello, Severus. I trust you had a good Easter?”

“I don’t celebrate Easter,” he replied, hand on his hip, looking down at Remus with slight annoyance. Remus by now wasn’t too bothered by his glares. “You’re helping us, then?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Remus shrugged, giving him a small smile. “Didn’t know you’d be so eager to clear out a room.”

“I’m helping a friend, is all,” Severus scowled at him and Elias passed between them both, breaking the tension apart with a dramatic roll of his eyes and his wand out.

“If you two could be civilized for like, an hour of your entire life, I’d _really_ appreciate it,” Elias told them both with a laugh. “Come on, let’s have a look at all the possible rooms. I want to see what would be most appealing for the social worker. I’ve got a bit of an idea but I want your opinion, too.”

“How many floors is this house?” Severus asked as the three of them walked out of the living room and into the stairs, blinking at the shape of the house. “…this is old.”

“Yep,” Elias nodded, pointing at the roof. “It was filled in but before that, it used to be open.”

“Wait, really?” Remus turned to Elias, surprised.

“It’s obvious. There’s the reminder of a well down there,” Severus pointed down at the lowest floor, where the tiles were different in the shape of a circle. “And there are windows facing _into_ the house, Lupin. So three floors?”

“Eh, the lowest floor has the biggest room so I call it a basement,” Elias shrugged. “The other rooms are just storage so we don’t really use it.”

“Hm,” was all Severus said before climbing up the stairs, Elias and Remus after him.

“So it was like a Roman house?” Remus asked Elias, who nodded. “Are a lot of houses here like that?”

“Some. It’s like, a middle patio because of the Arab and Roman influences,” Elias explained, making Remus nod, fascinated. “I’ve wanted to turn that part into a garden, I’ll be honest. I never liked that there was a roof put here.”

“But that’d just make the house cold,” Remus told him, frowning but Elias snorted, patting his arm.

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” he told Remus, shaking his head. “It doesn’t get cold here much, remember?”

“Oh. Uh. Right,” Remus flushed, looking around the house, the arches leading to the interior. It did look like a patio, now that he thought of it. And yes, some windows were facing in, but he’d just chalked it up to another strange Spanish thing that he didn’t understand. “A garden here would be beautiful.”

“I’m awful with plants that aren’t succulents, though,” Elias mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

“Why haven’t you taken the roof away before?” Severus asked him, touching the white paint of one of the columns holding the arches, looking over the empty patio.

“Well, I _just_ got the house,” Elias admitted, Severus glancing over at him. “It was my grandmother’s. She gifted it to me when she learned about what I wanted to do – adopting Harry and all that.”

“That’s very sweet of her,” Remus told him, smiling softly.

“Yeah, my uh, my uncles and aunts weren’t too happy,” Elias snorted and Severus tapped his fingers on the metal railing, thinking hard, looking over it all.

“The fact that this interior is dark makes it look _glum_ and uninviting. This is supposed to be somewhere for plants to thrive in the sun, is there a problem with this? Why was this covered?”

“Wasn’t my grandmother, that’s for sure, she actually wanted to open it up but she never had the money to do it.” Elias shrugged. “It was done before she acquired _El Rompido_.”

“I’m asking before I can see clearly where the roof was shut,” Severus narrowed his eyes and Elias looked up, laughing.

“No way. You want to tear it down?” he asked, surprised and also delighted.

Remus was dreading whatever was about to happen because the two Slytherins had a shine in their eyes as they looked over the house. It felt like watching Sirius fiddle with anything and everything in his way, finding ways to fix it and change it and make it better. But today was the last day and they had a priority, which was _clearing Harry’s room_.

“I know you two are ambitious by nature,” Remus told them, the both of them turning to Remus as he became the voice of reason. “But we’re here to make sure Harry has a room cleared out. That’s our priority, alright? _Then_ , we can look at the rest of the house.”

“He’s right, for once,” Severus said dryly and Remus chuckled a bit. “Which rooms are available?”

“There’s three that could be nice,” Elias told them both, walking towards the other side of the upper patio, tapping one of the two doors on that side. “Either of these or that guest room over there,” he pointed at opposite wall of the door leading to the living room and kitchen, where there were no arches, just a room, the interior windows over it. “It’s kind of _too big_ , though? I don’t know if it’d be okay for him.”

“Smaller, more manageable space would be better,” Remus told Elias softly, hands on the railing, thinking. “Let’s go see those rooms.”

The first one they entered was dark, the air smelled stale and there was furniture covered in blankets, covered in dust everywhere. Severus sighed at the state, throwing a quick _lumos_ as Remus just reached to the switch and turned on the light, finding an old, iron lamp flickering to life at the top.

“We can clean it,” Elias put his hands on his hips. “We’ve got magic.”

“We do,” Remus admitted. “The thing is – where do we put all this furniture? Is any of it usable? Will the room be in good conditions once we clean it?”

“This is ridiculous,” Severus growled, turning to Elias. “How long has this room been unused?”

“I think it was my great-grandmother’s bedroom,” Elias hummed, nodding to himself. “I like the size, you know. And the windows overlook the ocean, so Harry would have a nice view. I think this room could be nice for him.”

“What about the other one?” Remus asked curiously, moving to the other room, opening the wooden, old door to find more furniture, more dust, more stale air. “…I see.”

“Don’t your cousins stay over?” Severus asked Elias, cocking an eyebrow. “Where do they sleep?”

“In that room,” Elias pointed at the big one and Severus grunted. “It’s cleaner but, again, it’s way too big. And if we painted it, we’d have to do extra work. Plus, it still has some other furniture and things that we’d still need to clear out, it’s kind of my office.”

“Then choose one of these two,” Remus told him, glancing into the first one. “When is the interview?”

“On Friday afternoon,” Elias replied, making Severus and Remus nod. “There’s still time but – I thought it’d be better to start today. I think with you two, we can actually get it done today. And in case the interview date changes, we have until Wednesday, technically.”

“It’s doable,” Remus told him, pulling off his sweater with a sigh and putting it over the metal railing under the nearest arch, starting to undo the cuffs of his shirt so he could roll up the sleeves. “Which one, then?”

“This one,” Elias pointed at the middle door, nodding to himself, hands on his hips.

“Then let’s get started,” Severus grunted, pulling out his wand and gently sliding the door off the hinges, setting it aside.

And with that, they began.

Elias was quick to put some music and Remus grinned at him as the Spaniard also rolled up his sleeves and got inside the room after Severus, the two Slytherins working on clearing the dust first, throwing _scourgify_ after _scourgify_ , clearing the dust from the air and every surface. Remus slid over to the windows, jumping over some furniture before finally getting there, inspecting the windows. He hadn’t seen curtains and there _were_ no curtains but there were blinders.

He used his hands for this instead of his wand, letting the bright light of the Spanish sun flood into the room, making Severus breathe out loudly, nodding to himself. Elias grinned, looking over the roof and the walls for imperfections.

“There’s some cracked paint,” the Spaniard hummed. “But no humidity, that’s good. So far, I don’t see any problem?”

“Me neither,” Severus pulled off a white sheet from the closest piece of furniture, surprised to see a beautiful oak desk.

“Oh, that’s my grandpa’s!” Elias gasped, rushing to it, his eyes bright. “I’d wondered where Mamún had taken it but it’s here…”

“It’s a really nice desk,” Remus pointed out, walking over to Elias, seeing him reach for the central drawer, prying it open gently only to make a noise of surprise.

When Remus reached the two Slytherins, he saw Elias take something from that drawer and he realized it was a picture – old, bleached in color, crinkled around the corners. It didn’t move, it was a stillpicture, but Elias looked enchanted.

“That’s him,” Elias told his two friends, smiling softly. “And my sister and I.”

“Let me see?” Remus smiled, leaning over and seeing Elias’ father but with hair in the picture, making him stare for a moment before he realized that Juan, Elias’ father, simply looked a lot like his own father.

It was a photo on the beach and Remus saw Elena, tiny little Elena, she couldn’t have been older than six years old while little two year old Elias sat on the sand, blond like a Malfoy and little floaters in his arms.

“That’s cute,” Remus chuckled, smiling at Elias, who nodded with a grin.

“I’m saving this one for a frame,” he murmured. “Gods, I think I remember that day.”

“You must’ve been three years old,” Severus muttered as he looked at the picture, humming. “Don’t think you could remember.”

“You’re right,” Elias laughed, putting the picture back on the drawer. “This one is going to Brussels. My pa will be so fucking happy to have Papún’s desk.”

“Papún and Mamún,” Remus realized, suddenly, making Elias nod with a smile. “Oh, that’s intentional. It’s not just a nickname?”

“Well, we use them more than their names,” Elias laughed. “It’s a Spanish version of the French words dad and mom. It’s – a family thing.”

“Cute,” Remus remarked, making Elias nod.

“So we bring this one desk out, come on,” Severus told them both, gently pushing Elias aside and levitating the heavy desk, moving it out of the room slowly.

“Can any of you shrink these?” Elias asked, turning to Remus.

“If you want us drained, yes,” Remus sighed, making Elias nod. “These are heavy. It’s not like shrinking a book or a single shelf, yes?”

“Yeah, yeah, I was just… hopeful that you two would know a trick or something,” Elias muttered, nodding before lifting another sheet – and another, another, another.

Remus helped Elias uncover every single piece of movables in the room, Severus walking back in as the song changed into something more modern, something Remus knew was from the future, seeing Elias wiggle his hips to the rhythm, making him laugh loudly.

“ _Forty days and forty nights_!” Elias sang, walking over to Remus and grabbing his hand, spinning on it, Remus following along and dancing lamely, in the way that always had Marlenne and Lily laughing way too hard. “ _I waited for a boy like you to come and save my life_!”

The space between furniture was small but Elias was capable of stepping alongside it to somewhat dance with Remus, the werewolf feeling fondness flooding his chest as the Spaniard almost tripped, his hand tightening on his, bringing him to his chest.

“You’re going to _break_ something,” he laughed.

“If we’re on a time crunch, it’d do you well to stop slacking,” Severus pointed out to Elias, hand moving to pull on his ear, Elias simply giggling as he rubbed the spot.

“This song’s good, sorry!” he laid his hands on Remus’ arms, his hands warm and Remus tried not to focus on how close the two were standing and how blue Elias’ eyes looked at such a bright light. “Let’s move all the furniture out – is there anything that’s too big?”

“The door is big enough for everything, I believe,” Severus hummed, looking over a vanity with chipping green paint and a dirty mirror. “Is there anything you want to keep?”

“I’ll have to see that after we put it all in the patio,” Elias told them, stepping away from Remus and to the vanity, leaving Remus absurdly cold despite it being boiling in San Fernando today. “So come on! Let’s put everything down there!”

“ _You were out of my league!_ ” the song played as Elias and Remus focused on moving the big pieces together and Severus strung a couple small boxes out with a wave of his wand. “ _All the things I believe, you were just the right kind! Yeah, you are more than just a dream!_ ”

Well, what an appropriate song to play as Remus watched Elias set a dusty soda on the patio with a flourish just as Severus sent the boxes into a neat pile, the two looking at each other with an accomplished look. Severus’ tender eyes watched the other professor before lifting a hand to brush an unruly strand away from Elias’ eyes, making him grin a bit, hand tightening on his wand.

Remus looked away, focusing on the table he was levitating.

The clearing of all the moveable things inside the room took no time at all, not with the three of them working swiftly and soon enough, they were all standing over a still slightly dusty but empty future bedroom. Remus looked around, finding the sockets like a car in the Middle Ages. It seemed out of place here, lightbulbs at Hogwarts.

“Very well,” Severus sighed, looking it over. “A pass over it with some cleaning spells and this looks good enough.”

“I still want to paint it,” Elias told them both, arms crossing, wand against his cheek. “I should go to IKEA, too…”

“What’s that?” Remus asked curiously.

Elias gasped, eyes wide, turning to Remus, “You don’t know IKEA?!”

“…he’s a wizard, Elias,” Severus told him, snorting. “If none of us know about it, then it is very obviously muggle in nature.”

“It’s a furniture shop – they sell the furniture in parts so you’ve to put it together,” Elias explained, grinning widely. “It’s – it’s honestly a _lot_ of fun to go looking for furniture there. We should _absolutely_ go for Harry’s stuff there.”

“Can’t you just… buy full furniture already?” Severus frowned.

“What’s the point of having to put it together yourself?” Remus added, puzzled. “There’s no – why don’t you just get the whole thing? It seems…”

“Stupid,” Severus deadpanned but Remus was gentler.

“Counterproductive,” he added.

“You don’t always have the space in a car to bring a whole fucking bed frame,” Elias explained, glaring at the both of them, offended that they didn’t see the point to broken furniture. “IKEA is a great place to get really cheap, really good furniture, I’ll let you know!”

“If you say so,” Severus smirked a bit and Remus had to laugh a bit.

“You two are now _coming_ with me to IKEA,” Elias told them both, making Severus groan, rubbing his temple. “No, no! I won’t take a no for an answer! We’re going to IKEA to get Harry’s room filled in and you’ll see the wonders of muggle advancements!”

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Remus said with a chuckle.

“It’ll be torture,” Severus countered and Elias gave a loud laugh, leaning into Severus.

“Come _onnn_ , Sev,” he urged, giving a wide grin.

“I’m not saying no,” the potioneer rolled his eyes. “Just don’t expect me to enjoy it.”

Elias simply beamed at him and Remus thought about Sirius this morning, when he’d gone to the Shrieking Shack to find him in a much better mood than usual. He’d spoken about Elias, about the capacity the man had to cheer people up and make them think and do things that they wouldn’t, usually.

So when the three were done cleaning the entire room and Elias left to go grab the paint, Remus leaned into the wall, watching Severus assert a crack on the paint on the wall, his shoulders relaxed.

“You look happy,” Remus told him, making Severus immediately tense up, his eyes snapping to Remus with a sharpness the werewolf already expected.

“I don’t know what could possibly make you think so in this insufferable heat,” Severus told him, disdain lacing his words and Remus laughed, running a hand through his hair, feeling the sweat caked in the roots.

“Maybe because you’re smiling?” Remus approached him a bit, trying to see how he would react but instead of angry, Severus simply looked bored and annoyed. Well, at least it was a step closer.

“I am _not_ smiling, Lupin,” Severus hissed at him.

“Maybe not at me,” Remus replied and Severus glared deeply at him. “Look, I know it’s probably none of my business –“

“It’s _none of your business_ ,” Severus snapped at him quietly, making Remus sigh.

“I don’t want to – look, I just want to say that I’m… glad that you are –”

“Give me _one_ reason why I shouldn’t hex you right now,” Severus shifted his grip on his wand and Remus let out a long breath, hands raising.

“All I want to say,” Remus said firmly. “Is that you look _happier_ and that I’m glad for it, that’s _all_ , Severus.”

“Keep your nice words to yourself,” Severus put his wand back in his holster, eyes narrowed at the Gryffindor. “In fact, keep _all_ your words to yourself, if possible. The only reason you and I are talking is because Elias likes to take in strays, apparently.”

“The dog jokes are getting kind of boring by now,” Remus told him, mildly amused.

“I’ve got an entire reserve of them, Lupin, and I _will_ use them if you are so keen on keeping this conversation going,” Severus replied and Remus snorted just as Elias walked back in, smiling at them both, a huge plastic sheet in his hands.

“Paint is right there! Come on, let’s get the tiles covered before we paint, alright?”

“Hold up – give me the sheet?” Remus hummed, taking it gently as Severus and Elias walked out of the room and he spread it easily with a bit of magic, letting it stick to the floor temporarily. “There we go.”

“Huh. How’d you do that?” Elias asked, moving to grab the edge, trying to pull but finding the cover hard, letting it fall down again, no longer malleable.

“Er,” Remus flushed as Severus gave him a murderous look. “It’s… a long story.”

“So it _was_ you who put the swallowing carpet in front of the Slytherin dungeons,” he snarled, making Elias’ eyes widen.

“It was… us, yes,” Remus gave a little laugh, rubbing a hand through his hair. “I didn’t make the carpet, though, that was James.”

“Of course it was!” Severus threw his hands up and Elias laughed into his hand, not believing that there was a _swallowing carpet incident_ at Hogwarts. “It took us fifteen minutes to get out of that damn carpet!”

“It seems like a mildly innocent prank?” Elias chimed in, looking at Severus. “Honestly, doesn’t seem that bad to me.”

Severus narrowed his eyes at Elias, glancing over at Remus before muttering, “…Lucius has the carpet still.”

“He does?!” Remus laughed, incredulous.

“ _He_ thought it was fun. I didn’t,” Severus told him, rolling his eyes. “We were almost late for breakfast and I lost my _bag_ inside the damn carpet.”

“There were some Hufflepuffs who got really good at swimming in it,” Remus told Elias, who was grinning a bit. “People would toss things inside and they would jump in to get it. Then McGonagall learned about the carpet and it disappeared. I thought she’d taken it.”

“Lucius salvaged it,” Severus grumbled, arms crossing.

“That’s nice of him. I loved that awful carpet,” Remus chuckled.

“I _hated_ it,” Severus said but his lips twitched almost into a smile and Elias leaned into the man, grinning wide.

“D’you think Lucius could pull it out?” he asked and Severus gave Elias an unimpressed look. “Seeeeeev, come oooon…!”

“No. You’d be a danger with that carpet,” he stated, tilting Elias’ chin up, making the man almost go on his tiptoes. “No swallowing carpet for you. Now, bring out the paint.”

“Yes, sir,” Elias teased, walking over to the buckets and Remus and Severus also helped him out, Remus grinning as he saw the Gryffindor red, thinking of his youth and those safe burgundy walls that had accompanied him.

“He’ll love the color,” Remus said softly to Elias, who nodded with a smile.

“His home is Hogwarts, so I wanted to let him know that in here, he’s safe, too,” he told them both of them before looking down at his clothes. “I… am actually going to change into something I can get dirty.”

“Paint is a pain to get out, even with magic,” Remus admitted, nodding, gesturing at his old clothes. “S’why I brought this.”

“Well, I was roped into painting this room,” Severus grunted. “So I suppose I’ll just have to live with it.”

“Would you like some spare clothes?” Elias suggested and Severus looked down at him, looking amused at the Astronomy Professor. “I buy comfortable clothes three sizes too big, you could _fit_ in them,” Elias grumbled, arms crossing.

“I doubt it,” Severus chuckled.

“Not my _fault_ you guys are fucking _giants_!” Elias burst out, also glaring at Remus.

“What did _I_ do?” Remus laughed loudly.

“Exist!” Elias threw at him, walking over to Remus. “Exist like, five meters taller than me!”

“I’m hardly two meters tall,” Remus chuckled. “I’m only 1’89.”

“Oh my Gods, I’m going to _murder_ you,” Elias slapped a hand over Remus’ chest but the werewolf just kept laughing, his own hand moving around Elias’ wrist.

“It’s fine to be short, Elias,” Severus said, amused.

“I’m _not_ short!” Elias squawked.

“A little bit,” Remus smirked a bit.

“Shut up, _shut up_ ,” the Spaniard glared before moving back. “I’m gonna go change. I can’t believe you two have betrayed me. Together!”

“What kind of betrayal is being born taller than you?” Severus cocked an eyebrow as the man left, his voice ringing through the hallway.

“THE OUTMOST BETRAYAL!” he cried out before a door closing rang out and Remus gave a little laugh.

“Absurd,” Severus breathed, shaking his head.

“You _are_ pretty tall,” Remus told him and Severus grunted.

“I’ve met taller people,” he pointed out and Remus, without thinking, gave a laugh.

“Oh, right! Regulus was even taller than you, wasn’t he?”

Severus’ face immediately soured and Remus felt like he could kick himself in the teeth, uncomfortably crossing his arms, feeling like he’d stepped over the line. Lately he and Sirius had been talking about Regulus so Remus had felt like it was a safe enough topic but… apparently not to Severus. Not at all.

“Do not talk about him,” Severus murmured.

“Sorry,” Remus said honestly but Severus just turned away, walking to the windows, looking at the ocean with a strange emotion in his face. “He, um –”

“I know you and Black are probably having the _most_ fascinating conversations about my dead best friend,” Severus told him slowly, in a hiss of a voice, a snake threatening to bite and poison. Remus froze a bit, not knowing what to say. “But I am not Black. And I am not Elias. I knew Regulus better than any of you did. And it’d do you well not to say _anything_ of him.”

“Alright,” Remus muttered, nodding despite the fact that Severus couldn’t see him. “I’m sorry, Severus.”

The man just grunted, hand moving over his arm, squeezing tightly, his jaw locked. Remus watched with guilt rolling in his stomach and he tried to remember the times he’d seen Regulus doing something nice. It’d been mostly during First Year, before Regulus had been sorted. Before he began to grow taller than Sirius. Before he began to speak to Wilkes and Carrow. Before… before it all. But he couldn’t remember much.

How had Regulus been, behind closed doors? Behind curtains of appearances and years of fights and anger? Had Regulus mourned Sirius to his friends, the loss of his brother? Had he been more upset than angry? Or had he been like Sirius, dismissive? Dealing in absolutes? Deeming his brother a lost cause and like someone evil who did not care for others?

But surely Regulus had cared. That, Remus knew. He’d known all this time.

“I’m back!” Elias called, entering the room again, breaking the tension between Remus and Severus and, when the potioneer turned around, Remus saw his face change from one of locked pain into one of fondness.

Remus could relate to that.

“That’s indeed three sizes too big,” Severus pointed out, walking forth and pinching some of the fabric of Elias’ old college shirt, pulling a bit on it.

Remus hummed, “Looks comfortable.”

“You look like a clown,” Severus told him, laughing quietly.

“It’s great, I love this shirt, shut up,” Elias laughed back, elbowing him a bit, giving Severus a wide grin before he clapped his hands once. “So! Let’s paint! Do you guys know how to paint a wall?”

“Yes,” Remus nodded.

“No,” Severus replied.

“It’s pretty easy – let’s pour some of the paint into the trays,” he urged, starting to spread it out while Remus grabbed the tape. “Ah, yes! Almost forgot!”

“I’ll take care of this part,” Remus assured Elias, the Spaniard giving him a brilliant smile and Remus looked away, feeling his ears a bit warm.

He began to carefully cover the frames of the windows that touched the wall, hearing Elias explain to Severus how to get the paint on the roller. Remus felt like he and Severus were in two different places, at the moment – Remus wanted to get along, be civilized, maybe even become friends, if it seemed reasonable. But he knew Severus wanted nothing to do with him, if it was possible. Severus could joke and relax and laugh around Elias but the moment he was reminded that Remus existed, he’d shut down.

Which was also unfortunate because Remus kept thinking of Sirius and how the four of them would be in a room together, eventually. The mere thought of Sirius and Severus in a room together set him on edge but having Elias there as well would be the cherry on top. At some point, it’d have to happen, and he knew it wouldn’t be pretty.

“Sev – no, _harder_ , grip it harder, like that you’re going to pour paint all over yourself.”

“I’m pretty sure it will happen anyway,” Severus said dryly. “Why don’t you simply leave the room as is? White is a perfectly decent color.”

“It’s _boring_ ,” Elias told him, frowning. “And white is not a color for walls around England. The boy’s already going to feel a bit odd when he comes here, I don’t want him to have his room be another foreign thing. As long as this room stays cozy, homely and a little bit cold in temperature, I think he’ll be okay.”

“That’s a lot,” Severus pointed out. “Especially the temperature.”

“Not exactly,” Remus told them both, turning around to watch the pair. “Climatization enchantments are not that complicated, once you get a hang of them.”

“You know how to make them?” Elias asked, eyes wide with surprise.

“Yes,” Remus shrugged. “Enchantments come easy to me, I suppose.”

“I do remember that,” Severus said with distaste. “…would you be able to do one here, then?”

“If Elias wants me to, then yes,” the werewolf nodded, making Elias breathe out a soft _thank you_. “You’re welcome. All for Harry.”

“All for Harry,” Elias nodded, hands moving to grab one of the rollers before starting to work on a wall. “See? Super easy!”

“I suppose,” Severus said dryly, moving to another wall and starting, his strokes broad, able to reach the top of the wall unlike Elias.

“Hey,” Remus suggested to Elias, the man turning to him. “Why don’t you do the tape? Your hands are much steadier than mine and painting with a roller doesn’t require steadiness.”

“You’re trying not to mention that you can reach the top and I can’t, right?” he cocked an eyebrow, reading right through Remus, who gave a snort.

“I’m trying to be polite,” he laughed.

“Right, right,” Elias put the roller in his hand, smirking as Remus looked down at his now burgundy fingers, giving a little sigh. “Oops.”

“Oops my arse,” Remus replied, hand reaching to touch Elias’ shirt when he jumped out of the way, laughing. “No, come here!” he laughed, trying to chase the man and put some paint on him as revenge, waving his red hand around when Elias swiftly moved aside and Remus’ hand brushed Severus’ shoulder, making him freeze.

Remus blinked, looking at Severus as the man slowly turned his head to look at his shoulder, now stained with Gryffindor red, his impeccable black tarnished. Remus raised his hands, shaking his head a bit, “Ah, Severus, I’m sor –”

Severus put the rolled on Remus’ chest and ran it up his front, over his collarbones, neck, face and even hair and Remus sputtered, startled, not having expected it. He felt his hair sticking up, paint all over him as Severus slowly smirked.

“Ah, Lupin,” Severus said succinctly. “I didn’t notice you there.”

Elias was laughing so hard that he was starting to breach that territory into seagull cry and Remus could help but laugh along, hand moving over his chest, looking at all the paint that would be horrifying to get off himself.

“Oh my _Gods_!” Elias laughed loudly, hand on Remus’ arm, leaning into him. “That was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen!”

“What are _you_ laughing at?” Severus asked him, eyebrows raising. “You’re stained, too.”

“What?” Elias looked down at himself, frowning. “Where?”

The roller ran over Elias’ cheek, Remus’ own roller over his arm and Elias gasped, looking at the other two with delighted betrayal. Severus hummed, nodding to himself as Remus giggled hard.

“There,” Severus smirked.

“Come here, _you_!” Elias laughed, arms spreading to Severus and the man tried to run but Elias had thrown himself at him and Remus couldn’t help but laugh harder as Severus groaned when Elias rubbed his stubbly cheek against his.

“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me,” Severus said miserably, arms hanging at his sides.

“I’m the _best_ thing that ever happened to you and you _know_ it,” Elias replied cheerily, pulling back to see Severus’ now burgundy cheek. “After this, I’m inviting you two to butterbeers at Rosmerta’s, alright?”

“So kind of you,” Severus said dryly.

“I’d love that,” Remus retorted and Elias gave him a smile then a giggle. “I look stupid, don’t I? Remus chuckled.

“I think red suits you,” Elias responded, hand moving to push down Remus’ wild hair, snickering. Remus felt his nails run through his scalp and it took everything in him not to melt against his touch, sighing quiet. “You look a bit silly but it’s nice.”

“Nice?” Remus asked, laughing.

“You can wash your face in the bathroom,” Elias told him, laughing and Remus would, but first he grabbed Elias’ face and pulled it to his, rubbing his red nose all over his jaw, making him squeal. “ _Remus, no!_ ”

“This is _pure_ revenge! Petty and unadulterated! Pay the price, Fernández!” Remus laughed, finally pulling back with a grin and stepping out the room to the bathroom, realizing for that it had been the first time that _he_ , Remus, had ever made Severus Snape laugh.


	62. The First Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS A LITTLE SHORTER THAN THE USUAL BUT. I FELT LIKE IT HAD A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENING SO IT WAS OKAY??
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Bullying  
> \- Non-graphic violence  
> \- Racism  
> \- Purism

“Good morning, class!”

The door of the Astronomy classroom flew open and Elías walked in with a spring in his step, gathering the attention of his Seventh Year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws as he settled a wide, flat box in front of Oliver, who sat on the front row. He took a long sip of his giant mug of coffee, resting it on the desk alongside a few new maps he’d been able to acquire in El Mercado de Arena, leaning against the edge and crossing his arms.

“Now,” Elías began, smiling at the already tired and anxious faces in front of him. “I hope you’ve all had a good break! Have any of you done anything interesting?”

“Sir, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been studying over the break,” Liam sighed and the class agreed with different groans, making Elías laugh a bit.

“Well, this is the last push, yeah?” he encouraged, voice a bit softer, putting his wand over his desk and getting closer to them, even going so far as to crouch down a little. “I’ve had almost a year of experience with all of you and there is _no_ doubt in my mind that all of you can pass your N.E.W.T.s. I know it. I believe in all of you.”

Some of them seemed encouraged or relieved but others just sighed, looking already on the verge of giving up. The majority of them had already turned eighteen and they were on the cusp of it all. Elías knew what that pressure was like and he could remember it well, so he stood up straight and gave a little smile, opening the box and revealing the brimming cheesecake with blueberry jaw on top.

The kids _hollered_ , all of them letting out various noises and shouts of happiness and Elías gave a little laugh, “This is a bit of encouragement, alright? Let’s get those N.E.W.T.s ready and let’s do our best, alright?”

“Yes, sir!” a few chorused and Elías began to cut pieces of cake before he began the first revisit of the lesson.

* * *

It was two hours after that class, while Elías was in his office studying _The Forbidden Art of Time_ that he heard a knock, making him look up, gaze a bit fuzzy from looking at letters for so long.

“Come in!” he called and was surprised to find Severus behind it, slowly walking forward with his lips tight and an annoyed look in his eyes. “Sev? What’s going –”

The potioneer reached behind him and threw a student forward, Harry Potter stumbling inside with a busted lip before Severus also threw Theodore in, whose eye was slowly turning darker and darker, swollen almost shut.

“Jesus _Christ_!” Elías gasped, rushing to both boys, pulling Harry in to inspect his lip before brushing Theodore’s hair out of his face, looking at the state of his eyes. “What on _Earth_ happened here?!”

“These two thought it’d be a good idea to get physical on the first day back,” Severus hissed slowly, his arms crossing as he shut the door. “Wilkes is on the Hospital Wing as we speak but I thought you’d be able to deliver more than I ever would on them.”

“What happened?” Elías asked, eyes searching Harry and Theo’s faces.

But they said nothing, glancing at each other, making Elías’ heart stop when the two silently communicated before the two professors. A quiet pact.

“Tell me,” Elías demanded, hands on his hips, uncaring of whatever these boys had decided, wanting to get to the bottom of it. “You two have been involved in a physical altercation and I want to know why Oscar is on the Hospital Wing. You two have injured a student. _Tell me what happened_.”

“He used a slur,” Theodore finally bit out, his eyes on Elías’ shoes as Harry touched his fucked up glasses.

“And you _punched_ him because of it?” Elías asked, incredulous.

“No, he didn’t,” Harry replied, swallowing when Elías’ eyes found his. “I did.”

“ _Harry_ ,” Elías breathed, eyes wide. “Harry, you – you _can’t_ physically fight against bigotry.”

He felt the heavy weight of hypocrisy inside him and he knew Severus knew it. But the kids didn’t, they simply shrunk a bit and looked down, ashamed but not regretful.

“I – I told him to shut up first,” Harry said, wincing when he frowned, hand over his eye. “But he just wouldn’t shut up, you know? He just – he just kept going and _going_ and Parkinson was crying a lot –”

“Wait, wait, Pansy was in this?” Elías felt his eyes widen and he looked at Severus. “Can you all just tell me the _whole_ thing? Because I’m getting confused.”

“They were leaving my class and the Seventh Years were coming in,” Severus explained, his voice laden with anger as Elías leaned back on his desk, looking at the two boys. “Wilkes decided to say an unsavory word to Miss Parkinson – which I did not hear – and there was a shouting match. Potter wasn’t involved until Mr Wilkes began to shout at Mr Nott. I was leaving my office to go into the classroom and see what was going on when I saw Potter hit Mr Wilkes. And Mr Wilkes hit back – and then Mr Nott joined as well.”

“Boys?” Elías asked, waiting for their version, patient.

“Wilkes said a slur to Pansy,” Theodore told him, fuming, looking so angry that his eyes shone. “So I put myself between them and told him to shut his trap because at least she didn’t look like a dog put through the grinder twice –”

“Mr _Nott_ ,” Severus hissed but Theodore just kept going.

“And he called her a – a _bitch_ right in my face and Harry –”

“He’s seventeen!” Harry burst out, Elías sighing as he rubbed his face. “He’s so much older than us so he thinks he can do that kind of stuff! He keeps beating other people up and Theo’s been hit already! He had to go to the Hospital Wing when Easter began!”

“Is that true?” Elías turned to Theodore, who looked away. “I will talk to Pomfrey, but I want to know this – has Oscar Wilkes been bullying you and your friends?”

“He bullies _everyone_ ,” Harry said.

“I’m asking Theodore,” Elías lifted a hand, stopping Harry. “Does he bully you and your friends often?”

“Yeah,” Theodore huffed. “But if you do anything, it’ll just get _worse_.”

“What has he done?” Severus asked, moving next to Elías with a calm and controlled demeanor but Elías knew that he was _pissed_.

“He’s been calling us names since we started hanging out with them,” Theodore gestured at Harry, who looked away with guilt plainly written in his face. Elías felt his heart squeeze inside his chest and he breathed in slowly. “Physically, he started with Blaise and I.”

“Blaise as well?” Elías muttered, thinking of that poor boy.

“I see,” Severus said slowly, fingers tapping on his arm, eyes narrowed. “So that’s about a few months of physically assaulting you and you said _nothing_.”

“It’d make it worse,” Theodore told him, glaring at Severus. “In case you hadn’t noticed, Professor Snape, he can make people stay _quiet_.”

“Fifteen points from Slytherin,” Severus said firmly and Harry’s jaw dropped while Theodore stood stunned in his spot, Elías’ head snapping to the other professor.

“…what?” Theodore breathed, looking ready to throw up.

“Perhaps next time you’ll think twice before hiding something so serious from those who are trying to make this a safe environment for you, the students,” Severus told him, glaring right back, making Theodore look away. “You’re just giving him more and more power. You think hitting back will do anything? Will prove anything?”

“Yes,” Theodore snapped.

“Yes, _sir_ ,” Severus corrected, face crisping into more anger. “Another _fifteen_ points, Mr Nott, shall I keep going?”

“This isn’t _fair_!” Theodore cried out and Elías moved between the two Slytherins. “Take a deep breath – the _both_ of you.”

Theodore was nearly panting, eyes wet, looking so frustrated and angry that it physically pained Elías, his hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Calm down, Theo,” Elías said softly, catching the boy’s blue gaze. “I want to listen to you two, alright? But I also need you to be honest about this. Bullying is a very serious matter and I want to nip it at the bud.”

“Are you?” Harry asked, making everyone turn to him, at his look of frustration. “Because everyone says they’ll do something but they _never_ do.”

“That’s not t –”

“Yes, it is, sir,” Harry interrupted Severus, who nearly snarled at the boy but Elías gripped Severus’ elbow, pulling him back a bit. “I’ve told you time and time again that Malfoy bullies Hermione. And it wasn’t until _we_ did something about it that it stopped!”

“Malfoy is harmless,” Severus told him and Elías turned to him, glaring.

“And your godson,” he added venomously, making Severus turn to him. “Get out.”

“What?” Severus’ face turned to one of surprise for a second.

“Get out of my office. I’ll handle this from now on,” he let go of his elbow, pointing at his door, leaving Severus to struggle for a moment with what to say, what to do. But when he looked at Elías’ eyes, he finally sighed and walked out of the office, shutting the door behind him, making Elías rub his face for a moment. “Alright, you two – do you have class?”

“I’ve got free period,” Harry said softly.

“And I’ve got Defense,” Theodore muttered.

“I’ll talk to Remus later, then,” Elías said, taking his wand out to open all the windows, letting every single bit of sunshine in before dragging out two chairs from the side of the office. “Please, sit down, both of you.”

He shut his book and put his notes to the side on his desk, taking his handkerchief and his other spare one before wetting them both with a quick _aquamenti_ , then freezing both in a ball, turning to Harry and Theodore and offering them the handkerchiefs. Harry took his but Theodore hesitated, glancing at it, then swallowing and putting it against his lip, wincing.

“Let’s talk, shall we?” Elías sighed, sitting behind his desk and filling a teapot with lavender buds and mint leaves from his drawer, boiling water with his wand. “No more bullshit. I really don’t care about propriety. I just want to know what happened and what I want do to help you both. I will also speak to Pansy and Blaise later but now, you two are here and I want you to know that I truly do want to help. Alright?”

“…yes, sir,” Theodore whispered.

“Yes, sir,” Harry accepted and Elías offered a hand, startling the boy a bit.

“Your glasses?” he asked and Harry slowly put them in his hand. “Thank you.”

He repaired them quickly, with a simple tap, giving them back to Harry, who muttered a soft _thank you_. Theodore just looked around, seemingly distracted by all the books Elías had around and the Astronomy trinkets on the walls.

“Now,” Elías pushed two cups to tea towards them both and Theodore decided to look at his drink instead of the professor but Elías didn’t mind much. “I need to know what made you two think that punching Oscar Wilkes was the best course of action.”

“I didn’t… think, sir,” Harry said quietly and Elías nodded.

“I thought so,” he sighed, rubbing his temple, looking over at Theodore. “And you?”

“He punched Harry, so I punched him,” Theodore shrugged and Harry looked over at Theo, his face denoting guilt again. “Nobody punches my friends.”

“We’re friends?” Harry asked quietly, looking at him with surprise and Theodore turned to him, nodding slowly before quickly looking away.

“You defended Pansy,” Theodore whispered, shoulders rising a bit, hunching over. “You… you got into trouble for me. For her. I think we’re friends.”

“I’d like that,” Harry mumbled, looking at his knees.

Elías smiled a bit to himself, sipping on his own cup before sighing, sitting up straight.

“Have you been given detention?” Elías asked them both.

“Yes, by Professor Snape, sir,” Harry nodded, making Elías nod back. “Uh… this weekend we’ve to clean the dungeons.”

“Alright. That’s fair,” Elías stated, making Harry wince. “I want you both to understand that punching Wilkes will not change his mind at all. And it definitely won’t stop him from saying slurs or beating you two up. Violence… can be called for at certain times. But this one definitely wasn’t it. I can’t say I condone it, not when you’re in a school environment where you can tell a professor what happened. Bigotry won’t be tolerated and he will receive his punishment, too.”

“And what will happen when he does?” Theodore asked sourly. “Is he going to come after us for revenge?”

“If he does,” Elías stated, cocking an eyebrow. “I will personally speak with him, with his parents, and put a permanent stain on his record.”

“…fine,” Theodore glared at his shoes, looking still unsatisfied and Elías could understand, his eyes soft as he stood from his desk and moved in front of it, in front of the kids, without that barrier between them.

“I understand that this is frustrating,” Elías told them both softly. “But there’s a certain protocol that I must follow, Theodore. It’s not just me, but it’s the whole faculty. I want your safety – yours and everyone else’s. Do you at least understand that?”

“I do! I just –” Theodore swallowed, hands on his knees, gripping them tightly. “He… used a racial slur, sir.”

Elías swallowed, looking over at Harry, who seemed unfazed.

“Against you, too?” he asked the boy, who nodded. “I see. I will speak with the rest of the staff about this. I will not tolerate this behavior in the castle. If anyone else says any other slur of any kind, please do tell me, alright? Again, we need to nip it at the bud.”

“Alright, sir,” Harry nodded.

“Are you two okay?” Elías asked them, sighing. “You two make quite a picture.”

Theodore chuckled and Harry gave a laugh, the latter leaning back on his seat, giggling a bit while Theodore rubbed his nose.

“I bet we do,” Theodore said, grinning over at Harry, who grinned right back.

“Alright, alright,” Elías told them in a scolding manner, waving his hands. “Don’t look so smug about beating someone else up, some guilt, boys, alright? Otherwise Severus will have my hide.”

“Thank you for getting him out here, by the way,” Theodore said quietly and Harry nodded. “He was… really angry.”

“I know,” Elías said, chewing on his lower lip. “Just – I’ll handle that. You boys go to the Hospital Wing and then back to class, alright? I don’t want you to miss anything.”

“Yes, professor Fernández,” the two chorused, standing, Theodore quickly finishing his tea before leaving the teacup on the desk.

“Thank you, professor,” Theo said as he opened the door of his office, Harry right behind him, thanking him quietly as well and Elías waved at them both before groaning into his hands as the door closed, his heart in his throat, thinking of Blaise being beaten in a corner of the castle by a _seventeen year old_.

He needed to speak with Dumbledore and McGonagall. He had to talk to Pansy, to Blaise, to Hermione, _too_ , because she was in that group and she was a poor black girl who surely had not been ignorant of Wilkes. Had he tormented her, too? What had he said to them? The mere thought of it sent nausea through Elías and he spent a moment just breathing in and out, eyes closed, pushing away all the anxious and intrusive thoughts away.

Once he was more or less calm, he moved to exit his office, walking down the stairs and finding Severus in his classroom, watching the Hogwarts grounds, arms crossed tightly. Elías startled, not expecting him there, much less looking right outside when he had previously told Elías about how the tower triggered his agoraphobia.

“Sev?” Elías called, confused, and the professor turned to him with eyes so utterly _furious_ that Elías felt his hands clench into fists, ready to defend himself.

“Wilkes was _beating up_ my _students_ ,” Severus hissed and Elías felt his body relax a bit when he realized the man wasn’t mad at _him_ but at Wilkes. “This has been going on for weeks and _weeks_ , Slytherins cowering because a seventeen year old racist _prick_ thinks he’s above them.”

“I’m more concerned with the fact that you knew Draco was bullying others,” Elías stated, arms crossing, glaring right back at Severus. “And did _nothing_.”

“He wasn’t physically assaulting them!” Severus snapped.

“It’s still _bullying_ , Severus!” Elías barked back, even louder than him, making the professor look away. “If you’re against Wilkes beating the _shit_ out of Blaise and Theo for racist fucking reasons and for being with Gryffindors, then you should condemn the _fuck_ out of Draco bullying Harry, Ron and Hermione for being Gryffindors and _blood traitors_!”

“I know better now,” Severus muttered. “I… you’re right. I was wrong not to say it –”

“Well, thank _fuck_ you can see it now!” Elías groaned, running a hand through his hair, undoing his braid when he realized just how much hair was in his face. “Gods fucking _damn it_. Christ on a fucking cracker – you’ve _got_ to stop favoring the Slytherins. You took away points from our damn fucking House and Theo could scarcely believe it, do you think that’s good? Do you think that’s nice?”

“I _don’t_ ,” Severus told him, stepping forward and Elías met him, anger and almost adrenaline pumping through him. “I don’t anymore, I – I didn’t _care_ but I –”

“ _Good_ ,” Elías told him, hand pressing to Severus’ chest. “Now you _do_ care, right? So you will go personally to Oscar Wilkes and take him to Dumbledore and tell him what’s he’s done, right? And you will tell his parents about his _literal_ fucking misogynist and racist attitude along with his violent tendencies, right?”

“I will,” Severus whispered, swallowing hard, looking at Elías. “I didn’t want to –”

“I don’t care what you wanted, what you wish, what you – _Gods_ , I really don’t care,” Elías told him, letting out a huff of a breath. “Theodore was trying to tell you something after his friends were assaulted by a _seventeen year old_ and you just kept pissing him off because he wouldn’t use _sir_ with you. That was a shitty fucking way to deal with it, Gods, you’re just _so fucking cocky_ , Sirius!”

Elías froze as the name slipped and Severus’ eyebrows shot up, the two of them standing for a second right there, Elías’ hand twitching against Severus’ chest.

“Er,” Elías mumbled, flushing a bit. “Well, that… that sure was bad.”

“I remind you of _Black_?” Severus breathed, his face one of twisted horror.

“You two care about yourselves and your friends, that’s _it_ ,” Elías stated, deciding to be honest. “If it’s not a Slytherin, you don’t give a shit. And for Sirius, if it’s not a Gryffindor, then he doesn’t care.”

“That’s not true,” Severus said, voice strangled.

“It _is_ ,” Elías pressed, glaring a bit. “Tell me a single person who isn’t a Slytherin that you honestly, truly, _fully_ care about.”

Severus opened his mouth, ready to say it but nothing came out. Elías watched him, saw his struggle, his need to find anyone else and he was patient, letting him gape for a while. Then, nodding, he patted Severus’ chest.

“There we go,” he said dryly. “Just like Sirius.”

“I’m not like Black,” Severus said, voice breaking.

“Then _prove it_ ,” Elías told him, pointing at the door of his classroom. “Go talk to fucking Harry and Hermione about one of the kids under your protection and supervision called them _racist slurs_. And talk to Wilkes and tell him that this shit won’t just fly _by_. Give him a permanent note in his school records and let him know that if he ever does it again, he’s going to be _expelled_.”

“I was already going to do that, Elías,” Severus told him and Elías simply rubbed his face and turned around, pacing away from Severus. “Elías, I – I know I’ve been wrong, I know I’ve let things slide because of my own bias –”

“Because of those mistakes, these kids thought none of us professors would do anything about Wilkes, instead bearing through his abuse and assault,” Elías told him, turning around with frustration. “Do _not_ let any fucking bully _live_. Am I understood? Slytherin, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I don’t give _two shits_ , Severus. No bullying. _None_.”

“I understand,” Severus said, voice wavering a bit, clearing his throat. “…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Theodore. And _Harry_ , Gods, you owe him many fucking apologies,” he grunted, hand rubbing over his face. “I can’t believe it’s only the first day. Christ, I need a drink.”

“Me too,” Severus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, stepping a bit closer to Elías as the Spaniard jumped to sit on his desk, stretching his back, hearing it crack. “I will take care of the Wilkes issue. I promise.”

“I’ll talk to him, in any case. I promised I would,” Elías said softly, looking at Severus as he stood in front of him, his eyes stormy with guilt. It left Elías a little bit more at ease, to know that Severus did understand the consequences of his actions and he reached over with a sigh to adjust Severus’ collar, pursing his lips. “I know you’re sorry, Severus. But there’s been damage done to these kids. They need to know that you’re actively working to change all these harmful things, alright? They _need_ to _know_.”

“Do they?” Severus looked almost in pain at the thought hands moving to Elías’ desk, right next to his knees. “I’d… rather they thought it was you.”

“ _Sev_ ,” Elías sighed, watching the professor with a knowing look but Severus just grunted, looking away from Elías. “Sev, why don’t you want them to know it was you?”

“Do I need a reason?” he scowled.

“There’s always a reason,” Elías said softly, his ankle nudging Severus’ knee.

“I don’t – I’ve – I’ve a reputation for a _reason_ , Elías,” Severus hissed, turning to look at him and Elías lifted his hands from Severus’ collar so he could smush his cheeks, glaring at him. “ _Whu –_ “

“Sev, I’m going to tell you something that you won’t like, but you need to hear,” he said, watching Severus look mildly afraid. “Whatever reputation of being a scary bat you had, it disappeared the moment you and I became good friends.”

“That’s a lie,” he mumbled. “I’m scary. People fear me. Kids hate and fear me.”

“Jane was excited today about your class,” Elías stated and Severus looked horrified.

“ _No_ ,” he breathed.

“ _Yes_ ,” Elías smiled. “And I’m sure some kids were excited to see you.”

“Elías, you’re _killing_ me,” Severus breathed, his head falling forward again Elías’ shoulder, delighting the Spaniard. The man was barely tactile but ever since yesterday morning, he seemed a bit more inclined to touch. He laughed a bit, hand moving to pet Severus’ hair gently, giggling. “I don’t want the kids to think of me the way they think of _Lupin_.”

“They’ll think of you differently. But _better_ , too,” Elías told him, shaking his head. “Oh, Sev, you’re just a big _baby_ , aren’t you? So worried about what the others will think…”

“I’m _not_ ,” Severus defended.

“Liar,” Elías kicked him a bit and Severus gripped him under the knees, bringing him closer until Elías’ ass nearly fell off the desk, making him grip Severus’ shoulder with a squeak.

“Not a liar,” Severus told him, making Elías laugh again, hands moving from his shoulders to the sides of his neck.

“Not fooling me, Sev,” he smirked. “You want everyone to like you. But since you can’t control that, you’d rather everyone hated you for the wrong reasons instead of hating you for what you think are the _right_ reasons. It’s easier to dismiss them all as being wrong than… take on very real hate.”

Severus squeezed under his knees and grunted, “I will never understand how you can read me so well.”

“It’s a talent,” Elías gave him a wide grin and for good measure smooched his cheek, making Severus sigh. “Go talk to the Slytherin kids. And then to Harry and Hermione. And after that, call me and we can both go and look at the whole Wilkes thing.”

“Fine,” Severus muttered, straightening up, hands slipping off his knees before lifting Elías’ chin up, cocking an eyebrow. “But only if you apologize for calling me the _wrong name_.”

“That sure was inappropriate,” Elías laughed, hand over his mouth, giggling. “Sorry, he just… he’s frustrating, too.”

“You haven’t got the slightest,” Severus told him dryly. “Did I really remind you?”

“The utter frustration. That was familiar,” Elías told him, snorting.

“…I don’t want to be like Black,” Severus said, frowning.

“Then condemn any bullying. From anyone,” Elías told him, serious but also a bit softer than before. “Now get out of my classroom and work on that, yeah?”

“Alright,” he sighed, pulling back fully, Elías letting out a slow breath as he realized that Severus had been so very close to him, heartbeat thundering against his ears. “I will see you at lunchtime, I suppose.”

“See you then,” Elías nodded, waving at him as the professor left and as soon as he did, Elías dropped his back over his desk, watching the ceiling, wondering when in the world he’d become the patron saint of getting too cozy with straight men.

* * *

Elías went to see Remus before lunchtime, passing by a couple of First Year Hufflepuffs playing chess as he did, waving at them only to receive an enthusiastic wave back. He opened the door of the Defense classroom and, much to his surprise, heard Theodore up in Remus’ office, his interest peaked. Elías slowly closed the door, biting his lower lip, trying to be quiet but not too much as he went up the stairs to the door of the office.

“…really, just – just came over me, I don’t know…” Theodore was saying and Elías paused by the door, listening in.

“Sometimes, anger can take over us,” Remus’ voice came through and Elías bit his lower lip at the tone he heard – gentle, reassuring, orderly. Remus was calming Theodore down. “I know that it wasn’t fair. I know that Wilkes and Mulciber have been awful to you two. But hitting them is definitely not the answer, Theo, because it’ll only put _you_ in an academically precarious situation. You’ve already had a bad run with rules this year and I’d hate for you to have another.”

“I know, I _know_ ,” Theodore mumbled and Elías frowned at the wood, trying not to make any noise. “At least they know about them, now.”

“Who?”

“Professor Snape and Professor Fernández, sir,” he said and Elías felt his heart stop for a moment at the trust and hope in his voice. “They’ll do something about it. I know it. They always do, even if Professor Snape… isn’t too happy with me lately.”

“What makes you say so, Theo?” he heard Remus ask kindly.

“I think he hates that I’m friends with Harry now,” he said quietly and Elías knew that he had to tell Severus, wishing he could hug Theodore, the tone of the boy’s voice one of pained yielding. “It’s alright, though. I get it. Everyone in Slytherin is mad at us.”

“Is that so? Has any other incident occurred?”

“Yeah, but we don’t really care about those, sir,” Theodore explained. “A cold shoulder is nothing. I’d rather it was that than… I dunno, a beating or whatever. I’ve got my friends so I don’t really care for anything else, to be honest.”

“It’s very brave of you,” Remus spoke up. “To stand up for what you believe, for your friends. I’m sure you and Harry will become much closer now.”

“He’s really cool, actually,” Theo said, making Elías smile a bit. “Not in – in that cool way like – he’s not cool because he defeated this or whatever, he… he’s cool because he’s funny. And he doesn’t care what others say about him.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Remus said, voice bright. “I’m glad you two have pushed past the barriers so many others have put between Gryffindors and Slytherins. Elías would be proud of you.”

Elías heard silence take over and he waited with bated breath, looking at the stone floor, hearing Theodore breathe out.

“D’you think so, sir?” his voice came strangled and Elías felt his own eyes burn.

“I know so,” Remus replied. “Don’t worry about today’s class. It was simply a review of a few common questions everyone had. Just leave your essay on my desk on the way out and you’re good, alright?”

“Yes, professor. Thank you.”

“You’re very much welcome, Theo.”

Elías quickly realized that Theodore would be leaving and he made noise as he walked to the door, knocking on it, hearing Remus’ _come in!_ before he entered, trying to look surprised when he saw Theo – and his slightly red eyes. No busted lip, though.

“Ah, you’re here, good,” Elías smiled at him, then looked at Remus. “I suppose he’s explained the situation?”

“Yes, yes, don’t worry,” Remus said.

He looked tired. Full moon was approaching and Elías knew that starting tomorrow, he’d have to take Wolfsbane. He made a mental note to ask Sirius about Remus’ comfort food and to make some nice hot chocolate for the morning after.

“All good, then?” Elías asked Theodore, lifting his chin up a bit, inspecting his lip. “Looks like it, in any case.”

“It’s all good, sir,” Theodore nodded, standing and grabbing his bag. “Um, I… I also spoke with the Headmaster. And to Wilkes.”

“Is that so?” Elías asked, arms crossing, watching him. “Did it go well?”

“Well,” Theodore rubbed his nose, frowning. “I’m going to be cleaning the dungeons for uh, the foreseeable future. And Headmaster Dumbledore told me that this was my second strike but… I think as long as I don’t do anything stupid, I’ll be alright.”

“That’s good to hear,” Elías relaxed a bit before pinching his cheek and pulling a bit, making Theodore whine. “Stop getting into trouble, _Theo_ ,” he scolded with a little laugh, making Theodore smile at him as he pulled way. “Try and have fun with your friends. Study hard and take care of yourself. I will see you at six for your lessons.”

“Yes, sir,” Theodore nodded, looking in a much better mood before he stood and left the room, giving the two professors a smile. “Thank you, professor Lupin.”

“It’s no problem, Theo. Come by whenever,” the werewolf told him and Theodore rushed down the stairs, making Elías slowly turn to Remus, who gave a sigh. “What a mess, huh?”

“I screamed at Severus,” Elías confessed and Remus snorted.

“I would’ve, too, with how he handled this,” he rubbed his face and gestured at the chair Theodore had been occupying. “Are you alright?”

“It’s only the first day and I’m already exhausted,” Elías grunted, choosing to sit on Remus’ desk instead, the Gryffindor nodding as he leaned back on his own chair. “Just – _yikes_ to all of it.”

“I feel at ease knowing that should anything happen, at the very least it’s Wilkes’ last year in Hogwarts,” Remus told Elías, wincing. “Such a terrible family. His father is no better.”

“Doesn’t mean Oscar should’ve turned that way,” Elías replied, frowning. “Gods, just – it’s awful. I wonder how long this has truly been going on, him shouting slurs at other people.”

“It’s more common than you think. But they’re good at hiding it from us,” Remus told him, making Elías wince. “Hey – _hey_. Eli.”

“I’m fine,” Elías mumbled, letting Remus grab his hand, his tattooed fingers squeezing back. “Just tired, is all. I’ve been trying to make progress with those books we got from Cartagena but I’m going so very slowly.”

“Anything interesting, so far?” Remus asked him. “Aside from what you both told me yesterday, I mean.”

“Just more theorem. More shit I don’t understand,” Elías sighed. “We’ll be able to understand once I study those and get a second pass. For now, I’m super lost, I’ll be honest.”

“Then we just need patience,” Remus told him and Elías watched him with a pout, making Remus chuckle. “I heard we’re having duck today for lunch.”

“Oh, shit, for real?!” Elías’ eyes widened.

“Mhmm,” Remus grinned. “I knew you’d be excited. Should we go already?”

“Yes, please,” Elías laughed, nodding, jumping off the desk to the carpet. “You know, I haven’t had duck in a –”

No ringing, no fuzzy vision, no numbing. Elías went down immediately, knees buckling as his eyes rolled back and turned white, dropping to the carpet in front of an incredulous Remus.


	63. A Glimpse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Once again, I'm making the disclaimer that I am a white transqueer man that knows fuck all about the experiences that poc face! This chapter has been consulted and approved by people of color and although my friend doesn't really want me to announce their name or their social media, I will let you know that they've been extremely helpful with this fic so far, and within the discord server there have been some other people who have volunteered to help as well! Listen to other voices, lift them up! 
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Blood  
> \- Death  
> \- Racism  
> \- Talk of systemic opression  
> \- Depression
> 
> Take care of yourselves!

“Ah, _bollocks_ ,” Sirius mumbled, hands digging into his leather jacket, cigarette hanging from his mouth. “Just how long are these fuckers gonna take?”

“Shut up, we’ve only been here for two hours,” Dorcas replied, their frown deep as they watched the entrance of the wizarding club, sitting down with their own cigarette barely lit. “You’re such a whiny bitch, Black, I’ll never understand how they put you on fuckin’ watch duty.”

“Because you and I aren’t at each other’s throats,” Sirius grunted, offering them a lighter, which they took gratefully, making sure they took a long drag before handing it back.

“Yeah, man,” Dorcas looked over at him. “Lately you and Lupin have been _insane_ with each other. Something going on?”

“I don’t trust him,” Sirius stated, grey eyes watching the door, frowning. “I just – I don’t trust him. He’s being real fucking shady lately. I don’t know what it is but he’s hiding something, Do.”

“Maybe the fact that he can’t get over what you did on Fifth Year?” they snorted.

“Shut up,” Sirius kicked their leg, fuming silently. “It’s more than that. I think he’s been talking shit to Pete about me.”

Dorcas’ eyebrows shot up and they looked incredulously at him, “No shit?”

“I don’t know but – he’s been real cold, s’all,” Sirius muttered, swallowing hard. “We used to be best fucking friends but it was the same with Remus. Now all of it’s gone to hell. James and Lily are busy with Harry and… I get it, yeah? I get that they’re building a family, even among all this _bullshit_ but… fuck, I miss them, you know?”

“James offered to let you live with them and you refused,” Dorcas pointed out.

“I didn’t want to be more of a burden. They’re _newlyweds_ , Dorcas, mate, you think Lily would’ve been happy? Or even James?” Sirius made a face. “I’m a bit tired of always being a burden to someone.”

“Hey, cut that shit out,” Dorcas told him, pointing a finger at Sirius. “Or I’ll punch you, you prick. No pity parties, we cancelled those two years ago, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Sirius muttered, pulling the cigarette out and looking at his cold, shaking hands. His breath fogged before him and he wondered why September had to be so cold in England when in France it was the perfect temperature.

“What about Marlenne?” Dorcas asked him, nudging his foot with their military boot. “I picked you up from her street, is any of that serious already?”

“Serious?” Sirius laughed a bit, swallowing. “Nah. I broke it off with her tonight.”

“Holy _fuck_ , are you joking?” Dorcas’ eyes widened.

“No,” Sirius threw down his cigarette and crushed it under his heel, sighing. “She looked… so fucking in love with me, Do. I couldn’t keep doing that to her. We were kissing and she was so happy and I kept thinking about, like, how much she deserves someone who loves her, you know? And I definitely don’t love her and it’s been almost a year since we started having sex. At this point, I thought… well, shite, that I should do the responsible thing.”

“For once,” Dorcas huffed.

“For once,” Sirius nodded, chewing on his lower lip. “She cried.”

“Of course she did. She’s bonkers for you,” Dorcas told him, offering another cigarette but Sirius declined, making them nod and tuck their pack away. “Did you ever love her? Or think that you could?”

“Oh, _no_ , no,” Sirius laughed. “Merlin, no. She’s great, don’t get me wrong but… good women who do well in life is not my thing, I think. Should be someone as fucked up as me.”

“Like Lupin,” Dorcas smirked.

“Do _not_ ,” Sirius warned, glaring at them and Dorcas lifted their hands, their multiple rings shining in the dark and Sirius knew that Molly had scolded them for those, because they could shine or glint while they were trying to be stealthy. That wasn’t Dorcas’ style, though. “There’s nothing there and there was nothing.”

“I’m pretty sure you two were in love with each other back at Hogwarts,” they told him, eyes looking over him. “But hey, man, whatever you say.”

“He hates me,” Sirius said and Elías could feel the bitterness washing over him from his place of observation, as well as the guilt. “He hates me with his entire fuckin’ heart, Dorcas.”

“I don’t think so,” Dorcas told him, a bit softer, leaning back against the column behind them. “I just think he got mad and he’d rather not face you, instead of moving on. I get that you fucked up and all but… I feel like Remus is being – well, purposefully daft? About it? And about you? Like – he’s trying to antagonize you.”

“He can be a bitter bitch, we already knew that,” Sirius mumbled, running a hand through his short hair, sighing. “I dunno. He hates me and I’m trying to move on past that but I’ve got to see him at every meeting.”

“Maybe you should finally talk to him?” Dorcas told Sirius, cocking an eyebrow. “I don’t know, communication is pretty nice if you wanna solve things.”

“Says the wanker who still hasn’t talked to Emme yet about that kiss from New Years,” Sirius smirked, making Dorcas’ dark cheeks burn, their boot moving to kick him _hard_. “Fuck! Dorcas!”

“Shut up!” they hissed. “We’re watching, you prick!”

“You’re the one who kicked me!” he grunted, rubbing his shin. “S’not like we’ve seen anyone go in or out, I think the tip we got is fake.”

“Listen, I haven’t spoken to Emme because she’s really fucking busy with reckon in Nice right now, alright?” Dorcas told him, shoulders a bit hunched. “So unless she floos over here or I floo to France – which is fucking _dangerous_ – then I can’t really talk to her, now, can I?”

“You could’ve gone to France with her,” Sirius told them, nudging their thigh until they slid aside on the base of the column, letting him sit next to them. “You were offered a position there, Do. I really don’t know why you turned it down.”

“Who would drag your ass out of the house every day, then?” they asked and Sirius looked at them, shocked, eyes wide. Dorcas’ face was strangely tender and they reached over to ruffle his hair, making Sirius swallow. “I’m not leaving you on your own, Black. You’re a professional at fucking up but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad bloke. You just have shit luck and no fucking break. Your family was shit and you’ve got bad habits, that’s all.”

“Doesn’t mean you should be dragged down with me, though,” Sirius muttered, guilt swallowing him whole, looking down at his own boots and Dorcas put their elbow on his shoulder, shaking him a bit.

“I’m not getting dragged down, you _tosser_ ,” they rolled their eyes. “I’m making sure my best friend is getting out of bed, is all, alright? That dingy little apartment of yours is fuckin’ dodgy, no wonder you can barely bring yourself to eat.”

“It’s fine,” Sirius shrugged.

“No, it’s not,” Dorcas huffed. “Alright, fuck it. Come live with me.”

Sirius’ head snapped to them, eyes wide, “What?”

“Come live with me,” they repeated. “I know you don’t do posh streets anymore but London’s got some proper shitty places and I don’t want you to get mugged again. Or look out the window and think about how fucking depressing your life is. You’re coming with me, you’re going to look after Luke and you’ll finally learn that there _is_ life after Hogwarts, yeah?”

“Do you really need that in your life, though, Do?” Sirius asked, voice sore.

“What? You think you truly ruin my day?” they smirked. “What a narcissist. You truly _are_ a Black, huh?”

“Shut up,” Sirius laughed, shoving at them a bit before he nodded. “Alright. Alright, okay. I’ll go live with you and your stupidly large dog.”

“Good,” they grinned before their smile dropped and they suddenly stood. “The lights went out.”

Sirius stood as well, rapidly, his eyes narrowing as the music stopped completely and he gripped Dorcas’ arm, stopping them from going in. “I don’t like this,” he muttered, glancing around the street. There was no one. It was three in the morning on a Saturday, there should’ve been _someone_. “Do –”

“Door’s opening,” they gripped his arm as the first lightbulb went out, Sirius’ eyes snapping to it, panting already from the adrenaline building. “You remember how to drive my car, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Sirius breathed, seeing the dark figures starting to exit the building, blood splattered on the other side of the now open door as another light fizzled out and the two members of the Order pulled out their wands. “Dorcas, those are Deatheaters,” he whispered. “Full fucking gear –”

“Fucking hell –” Dorcas stepped back and the two of them moved further away, even hiding behind a column, Sirius pressing into Dorcas’ back almost as if to protect them. “Shit, _shit_ , Sirius –”

“We can’t stay here,” Sirius hissed at her. “Fuck, Dorcas, we have to _leave_.”

“My car will make noise, we can’t use it,” they told him, eyes running through the group before Sirius looked up, too, and the two went pale.

Elías felt the freezing temperature of their realization and he watched with horror as a dark, tall, hooded figure walked out from the front door – pale hand holding a crooked wand, the glint of red eyes the only sign of a face behind it all. If those hadn’t been there, Elías would’ve thought that it was a Dementor.

“It’s him,” Dorcas breathed.

“It’s fucking _him_ , we’ve to _go_ ,” Sirius urged them but Dorcas looked right at him, eyes wide. “Dorcas, no,” Sirius begged, pulling on their arm. “You’ll _die_ , don’t fucking do _anything stupid!_ ”

“What if it’s our only chance?” they replied, breathing hard. “We could end it all, he doesn’t even know we’re here –”

“There’s a _thousand_ Deatheaters, Dorcas, what the _fuck_ are you _doing_?” Sirius told them, gripping their hand and pulling frantically, the other wizard looking with desperation at the group gathered outside the other building. “Dorcas –” Sirius looked on the verge of crying.

“We won’t get another chance,” they said, getting rid of his grip, tears in their eyes as Sirius slipped over a puddle and went down, looking on with horror at his best friend when they stepped out from behind the column.

“Dorcas, no!” Sirius called, seeing them break into a run, those red eyes moving to the blur that was Dorcas Meadowes, their wand raised, speaking the moment they got into range as a barrage of spells came to them.

“ _AVADA KE –_ ”

“ _NOOO_!” Sirius screamed, a flash of green light turning it all white, the ringing in Elías’ ears splitting his skull as misery and pain and loss washed over him and when his eyes opened, he was watching the ceiling of Remus’ office, crying, his blues wide and his hands over his mouth.

“Elías?” he heard Remus’ voice call but Elías let out a hard sob, heart breaking. “Elías!”

“Dorcas,” Elías whispered, hands over his mouth, feeling the loss and pain that Sirius had when he watched the killing curse s strike them down. “Dorcas, _fuck_ , oh, _Dorcas_!”

“Shite,” Remus murmured, helping Elías sit up, his hands brushing his tears away as Elías sobbed hard. “Hey, _hey_ , Eli – it’s 1994, you’re at Hogwarts, it’s _alright_.”

“No, it’s not alright!” Elías cried, trying to sit up only to nearly topple over, head swimming but Remus quickly helped him out, hand against his back, pulling him towards his lap so Elías could lean his head on Remus’ shoulder. “They… they were just killed like _that_. In front – in front of _Sirius_!”

“I know,” Remus murmured, arms around him. “I was there when Sirius came back to the safehouse. He was bleeding and carrying Dorcas’ ring. It was… the only thing we could bury.”

“ _Gods_ ,” Elías choked, hands over his face, thinking of that person reassuring Sirius, getting him out of bed, making sure he ate something, making sure he was _alright_. “Gods, fuck, _oh Gods_ , _Dorcas_ …”

“They were a good person. An even better friend,” Remus said quietly, his thumb gently brushing the wetness under Elías’ eyes as the Spaniard looked up at him. “They… they were kind of like the parent of the group. And we were all close to them.”

“I can barely f-fucking _breathe_ ,” Elías wheezed, sobbing as he gripping Remus’ sweater tightly. “Fucking – Gods, Remus, you… you all had to go through that so many times and every t-time I See something like that… _shit_ , fuck, I can’t –”

“I’m sorry you had to See that,” Remus told him, holding him tightly and Elías pressed his face against Remus’ neck, sobbing quietly. “It was… it was such a second. You _just_ fell to the carpet, Eli, what – how much did you see?”

“I – heard some of Sirius’ and Dorcas’ last conversation,” Elías sniffled, rubbing his nose. “Stuff that’s private, I don’t want to divulge. It’s bad e-enough that I heard…”

“I get it, I get it,” Remus sighed, hand brushing back Elías’ hair, making sure it was out of his eyes. “But are _you_ alright, Eli? I’m… I’m worried. I thought you wouldn’t be having these blackout Sights so early after break. Have you been repressing them?”

“No!” Elías said, voice nasal, shaking his head. “No, Remus, not at all! I – fuck, I’ve been letting t-them go through, I don’t know why – I’ve no idea why this just came to me so suddenly, I don’t know!” he cried, hands over his face and Remus pulled him closer, rocking them both a bit.

“It’s alright – Elías, it’s alright,” Remus whispered, rubbing his back. “There’s nothing that we can’t handle about this. This happened a long time ago and the wound isn’t as fresh, that’s something you’ve to know, too. This has all happened so long ago.”

“I still feel awful,” Elías muttered into his shoulder. “I hate these Sights, I hate this, I hate this _so much_ , Remus,” he sobbed, feeling Remus adjust his grip on Elías, holding him fully on his lap, kissing the top of his head.

“I’m sorry, Eli,” he murmured, rubbing his back. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“I don’t know,” Elías curled up tighter, feeling his jewelry get caught on Remus’ sweater, making him whine. “Sorry, wait –“

“Let me,” Remus chuckled a bit fondly, hand moving to untangle Elías’ ring from his clothes, Elías watching Remus’ hands work gently on his, finally untangling them. His hands stayed on Elías’, though, even after it’d been done and the Slytherin buried his face once more on his shoulder, sniffling. “Look – may I suggest something?”

“What?” Elías mumbled, pulling back a bit as he rubbed at his red nose.

“Shift into your cat form,” Remus told him, making Elías blink at him, surprised. “I’ve kind of realized that when you get really upset, being a cat can become a source of comfort. I know cats can’t cry, so maybe that’s part of it but… well,” he laughed a bit, rubbing Elías’ back. “I could go to my desk and you could lay there with me and I could uh, give you scritches? If you’d like?”

“Could we go to your rooms? I – I feel like that’d be better,” Elías said quietly.

“Yes, of course,” Remus nodded, voice soft, his fingers lifting his face up a bit so he could rub his cheek with a gentle thumb. “I can’t carry you there in human form, though.”

“I’m still a heavy cat,” Elías mumbled.

“More carriable than human,” Remus retorted and Elías quickly shifted into his cat animagus form, feeling his heartbeat slow down, his eyes opening to see Remus in such a different perspective, those quickly closing as Remus gave him chin scritches, Elías’ tail swishing slowly. “There we go. Feeling better?”

“ _Mrr!_ ” Elías chirped.

“I know that you probably want to go see Sirius right now, but it’s the middle of the day and it’d be for the best if you didn’t go. Tonight, though, we can both make sure he’s alright,” Remus told him, Elías letting out a sad sound. “I know, I know you’re worried. It’ll be alright, though, as long as you let yourself calm down, Elías. Let –” Remus hesitated his thumb rubbing the back of Elías’ velvety ear, sighing. “Let me take care of you for once, alright?”

Elías lifted his front paws to Remus’ chest and rubbed his soft face against his neck gratefully, feeling Remus’ arms around his big white furry body, slowly standing. Remus struggled for a moment with how to hold him, which Elías would’ve laughed at, if he wasn’t a cat at the moment, before he finally got the hang of it.

Carrying the huge cat like a baby, Remus began to move out of the office, making sure to close all his windows and put all his papers away with a wave of his wand. He finally exited the room, then his classroom, plucking the essays over his desk with clumsy fingers, since he was still holding onto Elías. Elías made a noise of complaint as Remus shifted his grip.

“Hey, I’m doing my best,” Remus replied to him, laughing at the disgruntled look on his face. “You’re a _huge_ cat, don’t think it’s that easy to carry you around.”

Elías wiggled, as if to walk himself but Remus just gripped him tighter.

“It’s fine, Eli, it’s _fine_ ,” Remus told him softly, walking towards his rooms, thankfully finding no one in the halls. “I _want_ to carry you. I want to… take care of you, alright?”

Elías said nothing, those big blue eyes watching Remus before he shifted and rubbed his face against his jaw, making Remus smile a bit, feeling Elías purring hard. The cat’s paw moved to his neck and stayed there, cold beans pressing to Remus’ slightly feverish skin. It was nice.

The two finally arrived at Remus’ rooms and Elías wiggled until Remus let him go, watching Elías rush to his couch and hide under the knitted blanket he’d given Remus around December, his butt and tail sticking out as he settled underneath. He heard Remus giving a laugh, putting the essays on his coffee table before the couch dipped and the blanket was pulled away from Elías, showing Remus’ amused smile.

“Hello,” he said softly and Elías turned to him, rubbing against the hand that began to scritch under his chin. “You know, I never was much of a cat person. But… I suppose I could make an exception here.”

Elías chirped happily, purring hard, the physical affection making him melt slowly onto the couch and Remus gently pulled him over his lap, delighting Elías, quickly tucking his pink peets under his body to loaf up. He closed his eyes, relaxing, letting go of Al-Andalus and bullies and killing curses and Time Magic for just a while.

“There we go,” Remus muttered, shifting to grab the essays he had taken from his class. “Mind if I use your back for correcting these?”

Elías just chirped, eyes closed, feeling absolutely okay with Remus scribbling against his side while he napped. The smell of Remus’ clothes, his gentle fingers rubbing his ears from time to time, the soft thrum of his voice whenever he spoke about a correction or other, it all let Elías melt on his lap and eventually fall asleep, feeling much better than mere moments before.

When he woke up, it felt like it hadn’t been long but he realized pretty soon that he was no longer in his cat shape anymore. Elías yawned, blinking, stretching hard when his hand connected with something, making Remus grunt.

“Oh my Gods!” Elías gasped, sitting up, seeing now that his head had been resting on Remus’ lap and his hand had connected with the werewolf’s jaw. Elías grasped his face, panicking as Remus began to laugh. “I’m so, _so_ sorry, Remus, oh, _Morpheus_ , that was awful –”

“It’s alright –” Remus giggled as Elías looked at his reddened jaw. “Eli – _Eli­_ –“

“I’m an idiot,” the Slytherin laughed, head dropping on his shoulder, grinning. “Gods. Alright. So – you okay?”

“It’s quite alright,” the werewolf gripped his hand, smiling softly, squeezing it with an expression that spoke of fondness, making Elías’ heart stutter in his chest, the _traitor_. Whenever he thought he might be over Remus, this kind of shit happened. “Did you sleep well?”

“I… did, actually,” Elías told him, giving him a small, grateful smile, dropping his head on Remus’ shoulder. “…thank you, Moony.”

“You’re welcome,” Remus responded in a whisper, his free arm moving around Elías’ waist. “I… needed this, too, I’ll admit.”

“Some calm?” Elías asked.

“Normalcy,” Remus replied, making Elías blink with surprise, hearing Remus speak against his ear and breathe against his jaw. “I don’t know when normal became… you. I don’t know when I got used to seeing you every day but being a week out of Hogwarts, out of schedule, out of… seeing you in the mornings, in the afternoons, at every lunch, it was… unsettling – is that – is that weird?”

“No, it’s not,” Elías muttered, his hand wide against Remus’ chest, feeling his own heart rapidly picking up speed. Didn’t Remus know what those words did to him? To his poor hopeful soul? “…I’ve missed you, too, Remus.”

Remus said nothing, hand rubbing Elías’ back slowly, so very warm and Elías closed his eyes and let his nose touch Remus’ soft neck, breathing out slowly. He shouldn’t let himself enjoy this, shouldn’t let this happen but he’d been pushing away his feelings for Remus so fucking far away that letting them go gave him whiplash.

Elías felt hot all over and he knew his face and ears were probably burning so he kept his head in that little warm place, imagining for a second that it was all okay and Elías hadn’t embarrassed himself in front of this man with his feelings twice already. He didn’t want a third to ever happen, didn’t think he could take it – or Remus, either.

So the two stayed quiet for a while, Elías calming down his rapid heartbeat and simply enjoying the closeness to Remus that he hadn’t felt in a while, feeling Remus also relax. Then, of course, Elías’ stomach rumbled and Remus snorted, making Elías laugh loudly.

“We should get lunch,” Remus said, pulling back a bit with a grin.

“Definitely,” Elías giggled, hand running over his hair before he pulled on the silken strap holding his hair together, letting it flow from the braid so he could pull it back together. “I admit, I really needed a cuddling session. That was stellar.”

“Yeah, I – think I needed it, too,” Remus chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, watching Elías with a soft look. “I’m sorry, I – well, I’m sure I’m all bones –”

“You’re like a furnace, you’re _great_ , shut up,” Elías told him, grinning. “Super cuddly.”

“I doubt it, but thank you,” Remus gave him a weak smile and Elías hugged him, surprising Remus. “Uh –”

“I love hugging you. And cuddling with you. So shut up, you’re not a bag of bones. In fact, you’ve been healthily gaining weight and you look _much better_ than when you arrived,” Elías told him, making Remus flush a bit, surprised. “Also, you just look… happier, I guess?”

“I do feel happier. Better,” Remus admitted as Elías pulled away, his hand on the Slytherin’s wrist, squeezing gently. “Thanks to you, mostly.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s me,” Elías replied but Remus shook his head, laughing.

“Are you joking? Eli, you basically dragged me out of depression.”

Elías frowned deeply, uncomfortable, “Maybe for _now_ , Remus, but you can’t rely on someone to pull you out of it, you know? It’s mostly a change of oneself. It can’t be solved by someone coming into your life, the – the change is one you’ve to make. It’s good that you’re getting friends now, that you’re a bit more open but your self-esteem, your confidence, your resolve? It all has to _change_ and not on the exterior but on the interior.”

Remus watched Elías, blinking before looking away with a wince, “I… see.”

“I’m not saying you’re not better, you _are_ ,” Elías assured him, turning Remus’ face towards his. “But there’s still a long way to go. Depression isn’t just… magically cured because someone is nicer and more understanding with you. Because bad moments, bad nights _do_ come and that person won’t be enough, then. Trust me, I… I know what I’m talking about.”

“I know you do,” Remus muttered, looking down at Elías’ lap, touching the pattern of his colorful shirt instead of looking at him in the eye. “And… you’re right, too. You _have_ helped me, though, that you can’t deny. With Sirius, with my father, with the full moons…”

“That’s just what a friend does,” Elías replied, gently running his nails through Remus’ hair, making his eyes flutter shut. “Remus, I think you should go to therapy.”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” Remus sighed, groaning. “Fuck.”

“You’re gonna be fine,” Elías reassured him, smiling a bit. “It’s a bit hard. But hey! I did it and I turned out better than I was before! And Severus did it, too!”

“He did?” Remus’ eyes shot up, wide with surprise. “He actually did it?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, a proud grin taking over his face. “He did, yesterday morning. And it was super hard for him but he _did it_.”

“That’s nice,” Remus muttered, sighing, eyes closing. “I… will try. To go to… therapy, too.”

“Good,” Elías tweaked his nose, making Remus laugh. “Also, your father sent me a letter this morning about a gallery you might like in London? He said you really enjoy Monet.”

Remus stared for a moment, processing what Elías had said before, “Wait, my father sent you a letter?”

“Yeah,” Elías nodded, shrugging. “He does, sometimes, telling me about stuff in his department or how he’s doing. It’s nice.”

“I – I didn’t know,” Remus whispered, voice quiet. “He really likes you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Elías laughed. “He also asks me about you, you know. He worries and he knows you won’t tell him if something is _mildly_ wrong. So here I am, letting your father know that you’re doing super okay.”

“Oh, so now you’re snitching on me, huh?” Remus tickled his sides and Elías shrieked, wiggling on his lap, making Remus laugh as well. “Traitor! You’re reporting to my father!”

“Stop it, s-stop!” Elías laughed, gripping Remus’ wrists and pulling them away, face red from laughing. “You’re _evil_.”

“You’re the one conspiring with my father,” Remus replied, eyes narrowed with an amused smile on his lips. Then, “Do you like Monet?”

“I _love_ Monet,” Elías grinned. “Are you free on Saturday?”

“Absolutely free,” he nodded. “Let me invite you.”

“You sure?” Elías asked, feeling Remus slide his hands from his wrists to his fingers, entwining them together. “I can pay for myself.”

“I know, I know, just – I keep saying that I’m going to do something nice for you and I never know what to do, you know,” Remus laughed a bit, smiling at Elías. “What do you give to someone who seems to have everything he wants?”

“ _Me_?” Elías laughed loudly, throwing his head back. “If you gave me _anything_ , I’d be fucking happy. I’m the easiest person to gift to. Honestly, _seriously_.”

“Then let me treat you to that Monet exhibition,” Remus insisted, making Elías smile a bit. “Let me, alright?”

“Alright,” Elías murmured, nodding. “Though I’ve to let you know – my favorite is Van Gogh and Renoir.”

“Of course they are,” Remus chuckled. “Let me guess – Mulberry tree?”

“Close,” Elías shrugged. “Almond Tree Blossom.”

“Almond Blossoms,” Remus gently corrected and Elías nodded. “Truly?”

“It’s his happiest painting,” Elías told him. “And what’s yours, from Monet?”

“The Artist’s Garden at Giverny,” Remus said.

“Oh, _any_ of his garden paintings are gorgeous,” Elías gushed, eyes bright. “My parents used to have a dupe of one of the paintings of the Japanese bridge? I think it was Harmony in Green – and it’s _gorgeous_.”

“We’ll get to see it, hopefully, this Saturday,” Remus told him before patting Elías’ side. “But now we’ve to go eat lunch, alright? I’m starving, too.”

“Alright, yes,” Elías nodded, standing and pulling Remus up, giving him a bright smile as Remus stretched a bit. “So you’re starting to like cats, hmm?”

“I wouldn’t go so far,” Remus replied, nudging him with a chuckle. “I’d say I like _you_.”

Fuck.

“Of course you do, I’m _amazing_ ,” Elías rolled his eyes, walking out of Remus’ rooms and waiting for Remus to lock it before the two began to move towards the kitchens, since the Great Hall was closing up at this hour. “You sure we can’t see Padfoot?”

“It’s better not, at least until night,” Remus warned him, Elías chewing on his lower lip. “Besides, if you bring up Dorcas –”

“I know, I _know_ , I don’t think I will, but just – I – I do want to see him,” Elías murmured into his hand as he began to chew on his thumb nail. “Just… a hug. I need a hug from him.”

“Later,” Remus insisted, patting his back as Elías sighed. “Besides, don’t you have class at night?”

“Ugh, I _do_ ,” Elías bemoaned, hands rubbing over his face. “And I’ve to talk to Wilkes. And to talk to Pansy, Hermione and Blaise.”

“You’ve had a pretty rough day,” Remus nudged him. “How about you leave it for tomorrow? I’m sure it’ll be alright. You’ve got Theo’s drumming lessons as well.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Elías sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I suppose it can wait…”

* * *

The rest of the day was a wreck on Elías’ nerves, anxiety making him have palpitations whenever he closed his eyes for a moment and heard Sirius’ scream. He focused on Theodore in his lessons and was distracted for the hour that he taught the kid, getting lost in the improvement that he showed, the enthusiasm over music, the way he already knew most of the lyrics to _Come and Get Your Love_ by Redbone. If anything, Theodore was a bit of respite in the great hell that was today.

“Alright,” Elías told him, nodding as Theodore finished the song, grinning. “I think that’s enough for today. You’ve done really well.”

“Really?” Theodore panted a bit, sleeves rolled up and hair in his face, sweaty but happy. “I – I felt like that was better than last time.”

“It’s also right back from holidays so – yeah! You’ve been doing better!” Elías laughed, ruffling his hair. “Go and take a shower, alright? Rest up, do your wrist stretches and don’t forget that you’ve class with me at ten tonight.”

“Yes, professor,” he nodded, grinning as he stood from his stool, stretching out his arms. “I could play for _hours_.”

“Oh, I know the feeling,” Elías laughed, standing as well. “But you also need to know when you need to take a rest, alright? So make sure to do that and take care of your wrists and arms – and _shoulders_.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Theodore nodded, looking over at Elías before pausing. “Sir?”

“What is it?” Elías asked as he started to move the drums aside with his wand, making sure it didn’t bump into anything.

“How do you talk about race with someone when you’re white?”

Elías blinked, almost dropping the drums, surprised at the question. He turned to Theodore, gently putting down the instrument and rubbing his face, trying to think of the best way to approach such a difficult topic – especially as someone as extremely white as himself.

“Alright, sit down,” he sighed at the boy, who slowly walked over to the desk and took a seat on his usual. “Thing is – you can’t.”

Theodore frowned, “But –”

“What you can do,” Elías told him slowly, tapping the desk. “Is listen to those who are actually affected by it. People of color have been speaking out against institutional racism for years and it has only been lately that people have begun to listen. They know the story, they know the ropes because they’ve been under it for years and years and years. As a minority, if you are one, you can _kind of_ understand some aspects of it. But you will _never_ understand what being black like Pansy, Blaise or Hermione is like. Or brown like Harry.”

Theodore pursed his lips, watching his hands, “…I want to, though. I want to understand and know and be able to comfort them.”

“Well, I’m sure _they_ don’t want you to know what it’s like, because it’s pretty awful and they, as your friends, want you to feel happy,” Elías said softly, eyes kind as he moved a hand to grip Theodore. “What you can do is _listen_ to those who are trying to explain, trying to speak. Let them know that you’re willing to learn from them, that you’re willing to change. There are so many nuances to it, so much that just… fills you with anger and impotence,” Elías sighed. “But at the end of the day, all you can do is… listen. And amplify their voices. Let _them_ step onto the podium for once, yeah?”

“So… don’t speak for them,” Theodore said slowly, making Elías nod. “I wish I could help more. S’not fair that… that Wilkes has all those awful names to call Pansy or call… muggleborns, like, he has all this power over them and I hate – I _hate_ it,” he frowned.

“So do we,” Elías laughed a bit, surprised at such passion. “Bigotry is everywhere, Theodore. Not just against black people and muggleborns but also _any_ person who isn’t white, isn’t heterosexual, isn’t able-bodied, isn’t a pureblood and isn’t cisgender.”

“Cisgender? What’s that?” Theodore asked, looking up.

“Well,” Elías said slowly, heart a bit in his throat. “It’s… it’s when someone’s gender corresponds with the gender they were assigned at birth. Like you – you were born with certain genitals and people have classified you as a man because of it. Male, yeah?”

“There’s people who don’t?” Theodore asked, surprised. “Really?”

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded, a bit nervous. “Those people are called transgender. Gender is – a funky, wonky thing that was made by us, by humans, you know. It’s not just man and woman.”

“What _else_ is there, though?” Theodore look curious. “Like – what, man, woman or both?”

“Or neither,” Elías shrugged. “Or just… something else. And you know, this isn’t something new that came out of nowhere. Native Americans, for example, have something called Two-Spirit, which has – y’know, its nuances and its cultural importance within North American tribes that I won’t pretend to fully understand. But there have been people outside of the gender binary of male and female for centuries.”

“Huh,” Theodore blinked. “Okay.”

“And they look just like anyone else,” Elías added, relaxing as he realized that Theodore wasn’t disgusted or put-off by it. “People who transition from their gender to another… they look just like normal people. In muggle society, they’re still struggling with acceptance – and transgender people owe a lot to people of color for the little acceptance we _do_ have.”

“Really?” Theodore leaned in, smiling a bit.

“History does try to erase them,” Elías told him softly. “But there are some of us who, as I’ve said before, _do_ listen to people of color. And queer people of color are extremely vulnerable even when there are people trying to fight for their rights, for queer and trans rights.”

“What do you mean?” Theodore got a bit more comfortable in his seat, making Elías feel a bit better – the boy was doing the good thing, willing to listen and understand. Asking questions. What a good kid.

“It means that if your activism, if your fight for human rights doesn’t include people of color, queer people, trans people, disabled people and so on – then it’s discriminatory. And it’s not good at all,” Elías told him. “There are – there are certain kinds of discrimination that overlap, yeah? Combine, overlap, intersect, call it whatever you want but – for example, Hermione is black, right?”

“Yes,” Theodore nodded.

“So she experiences racism. _As well_ as misogyny, for being a woman. As _well_ as purism, for being a muggleborn,” Elías explained and Theodore seemed to get it. “These issues are usually looked at separately but they’re _not_. There’s – there’s a certain type of misogyny that stems from racism, or from transphobia, or from purism, yeah?”

“Okay,” Theodore muttered. “So… if you want to fight for everyone’s rights… it has to be for everyone’s?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded.

“And you’ve – _I’ve_ – to acknowledge that um… while I can’t understand racism, I can… I can help? Uh, black people or uh, Asian people? By letting them be louder than me?”

“More or less, yeah,” Elías chuckled as he voiced it. “There’s this woman, Kimberlé Crenshaw, who used the term _Intersectional Feminism_ to describe the fact that studying gender and race separately made no sense. And people have been adding to it – not just race but also religion, socioeconomic status, physical or mental ability, sexual identity, gender identity, ethnicity…”

“That’s a lot,” Theodore remarked, making Elías laugh.

“Yeah! It is, isn’t it?” he smiled. “Well, imagine having to think of it _every day_. Knowing that you’re a minority every single day.”

“That sounds exhausting,” Theodore murmured.

“Well, Pansy does it. And while in the wizarding world sexuality isn’t that big of an issue as in the muggle world, I’m sure Draco thinks about being into men in not the gentlest light sometimes.”

“Yeah…” Theodore winced. “Yeah uh, so… so do I.”

“Sometimes, what people say really hurts,” Elías told him and Theodore nodded, rubbing his arm. “You believe what others tell you. That you’re a second class citizen. That you’re useless or unwanted or unclean or… or _bad_ for being what you are, who you are. But that’s a _lie_.”

“Why do people believe all this stuff if it’s a lie? Like – like the mud in your blood thing or the lazy Irish thing that isn’t even _near_ the truth?” Theodore asked.

“Well, that’s – it’s a long talk about capitalism and how it thrives on the backs of other people’s misery and other people’s fears,” Elías said, chuckling as Theodore frowned in confusion. “Also, just, the establishment of a lot of anti-minority laws and the perpetuation of stereotypes to keep certain people in power… it’s a lot of social stuff that you’ll eventually learn.”

“How did you even learn all of that?” Theodore asked. “I’ve never heard of it in History class. Or even from my mother.”

“Well, that’s not something people talk about,” Elías sighed. “Some people never know it. And they never know why minorities are oppressed or hurt or angry at certain things.”

“And what if you’re not – not any minority?” Theodore asked him.

“Then you _do_ listen to the minorities,” Elías shrugged, smiling. “And if you perpetuate certain behaviors, try not to feel hurt or offended; listen, open the conversation, realize that the reason why something doesn’t offend you or hurt you is because maybe you benefit from it.”

“Okay,” Theodore nodded, looking determined. “I’m going to listen more to Pansy, Blaise and Hermione, then.”

“Good. As you should,” Elías ruffled his hair. “Also, do keep in mind, Theo – I’m not the almighty God of knowledge on this, I’m still learning. And I will keep learning as I go. I – we live in a little bubble of whiteness, you and I, and we need to keep in mind that there are things that we won’t ever understand fully, that we can’t _explain_ fully. So even though I’ve been telling you all this, _please_ , know that there are books and articles written by people of color that are much better done than whatever I could tell you.”

“Alright. Okay, I – I think I understand that,” Theodore nodded, eyes firm. “I won’t ever believe another lie like the one of mud in blood. I don’t _ever_ want to believe something that could be so easily seen, you know?”

“I know,” Elías said softly. “It’s a hard path, because a lot of people in power have tried to hide the struggles of those oppressed. That’s why you need critical thinking and a willing ear.”

“Yes, sir,” Theodore nodded, smiling before he stood. “Hey, um…”

“Yes?” Elías encouraged.

“I know you can’t talk about uh, race and stuff,” he said, shrugging. “But could I ask you about sexuality, maybe? Cause… cause there’s some stuff that I don’t get. And uh, you did mention that you’re not…”

“Straight? Of course,” Elías said softly, nodding, moving forward to grip his shoulder and squeeze. “Theo, you can come to me for anything you’re doubting, alright? Don’t be afraid to ask, don’t be afraid to question things. It’s good to do it, yeah? Keeps you on your toes. Even if _I_ don’t have the answer, it’s still good to talk about it.”

“Alright,” Theodore looked much happier at that, hesitating before he walked forward to give Elías a tight hug, the professor rubbing his back. “Thank you, sir.”

“It’s no trouble,” Elías muttered, watching him leave, breathing out slowly once he was alone with no one to hear his anxiety crawl up. “Well, fuck.”

* * *

“Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up, finally!” Sirius laughed as the trap door of the Shrieking Shack opened and Elías rushed in his cat form up the stairs. “Huge feline incoming, I repeat, huge fuckin’ cat inco – _whoa_!”

Elías threw himself at the man near the railing and Sirius caught him but barely, groaning at the weight of the animal, nearly falling backwards as Remus laughed from the doorway, watching with a grin.

“Hey, hey, what’s going _on_?” Sirius chuckled, looking through all the white fur to find Elías’ huge eyes watching him – then he licked his jaw, making Sirius blink. “Er… missed you, too?”

Elías shifted back to human, Sirius quickly grunting as he held onto the heavier man, watching Elías’ exhausted blues.

“I had an awful Sight,” he told Sirius, arms moving around his neck, embracing him tightly. “And you were in it and you were in pain and it was fucking awful so shut up and let me hug you, alright? I – just let me.”

“Alright,” Sirius groaned, “But can you do it on the floor?”

“Oh!” Elías mumbled, shifting to drop back down, making Sirius sigh in relief. “Sorry!”

“S’fine, angel – shit, are you crying?” Sirius blinked, hand moving to cup Elías’ face as he nodded, sniffling a bit. “Fuck, the hell did you See?”

“I’ll – I’ll explain in a moment, alright?” Elías mumbled before hugging him again, his face against Sirius’ shoulder, feeling the Gryffindor respond in kind, his rough hands rubbing his back slowly. “Just – it was rough. It was awful. And I’m glad you’re here and alive.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” Sirius assured quietly, head shifting a bit. “How about we sit down, yeah? You’re – angel, you’re shaking, shite, what did you See?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Elías sniffed, pulling back and Sirius still rubbed his back. “Let’s – sit down, yeah, it’s a good idea.”

“Come on,” Remus urged gently, reaching forward to grab Elías’ hand. “How were your classes?”

“They went well, I’m just… emotionally exhausted,” Elías laughed wetly, moving to sit down on the bed, Remus and Sirius following. “That Sight took so much out of me. Christ.”

“I can tell,” Sirius frowned, nudging Elías. “What was it?”

“I… saw Dorcas Meadows die,” Elías told him and Sirius’ face immediately twisted into an expression of pain, looking away, swallowing. “I’m _so_ sorry, Sirius, but I Saw the conversation you had with them before it happened, I – I didn’t want to know! I didn’t want to _listen_! But this stupid thing –”

“It’s alright, angel,” Sirius said quietly, his hand moving to Elías’ knee, patting it gently. “I know you didn’t mean to See any of it. It’s not like you can help it, alright?”

“I still feel awful,” Elías said, strangled. “I’ve seen so much shit that I shouldn’t have – I’ve seen you and James drunk for the first time, Sirius, and – and I’ve seen that summer in this grassy field where you and – and your brother were wrestling and laughing and – and I’ve seen Dorcas and I’ve seen Marlenne crying and – I shouldn’t be breaching your privacy like this! I don’t want to breach it! I don’t want to know all this stuff that you have not consented to tell me!”

“Hey!” Sirius turned fully to him, gripping his face, making Elías whine. “I know. And it sucks. And I’d rather you hadn’t Seen it but – what are you going to do about it, huh?”

“Sorry,” Elías mumbled, looking down at Sirius’ lap, hands tight on the soft blanket he’d brought to Sirius the other night. “Just – I wanted to let you know that I know all this, okay? I – I don’t want you to go about, thinking I don’t know because that’s a _lie_ and I feel so uncomfortable and – and – it’s not _fair_ to you and there’s enough u-unfairness in y-your l-life –”

“Oh, Merlin,” Sirius laughed a bit, pulling Elías to his chest as the Astronomy professor began to cry against it, gripping the sides of Sirius’ Azkaban shirt, Remus patting his back. “And to think you’re a Slytherin.”

“S-shut u-u-up,” Elías sobbed hard, hitting his side, Sirius laughing.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, angel,” his voice was gentler. “It wasn’t the first time. It wasn’t the last time. A week later, Marlenne and her entire family had been murdered. And then the Potters were killed and – yeah, it wasn’t the last time. It’s just… another casualty, angel. That’s the thing about wars, people die.”

“I’m s-still sorry,” Elías sniffled, hugging him tightly. “I w’s worried about you.”

“Worried, huh?” Sirius smiled down at him as Elías looked up, his eyes wide and wet. “Aw, _angel_ , good Godric,” he brushed his tears away. “You’re going to make me cry if you keep looking at me like that, so stop it, alright?”

“Fine-e,” he sniffled, sitting up straight before leaning a bit into him. “I’m obnoxious with my friends. Sue me.”

“He truly is,” Remus pointed out, laughing when Elías tried to swipe at him, dodging easily, his hand catching Elías’ wrist. “I’m joking, I’m _joking_.”

“I hate the English,” Elías grumbled, cuddling against Sirius and letting his fingers entwine with Remus’, Sirius giving a laugh. “I don’t even know why I bother. I should go back to Spain and never come out.”

“Of course,” Remus chuckled, indulging him.

“Also,” Elías murmured, looking over at Remus. “Today Theodore asked me a question that took me _so_ off-guard.”

“Oh?” Remus frowned.

“He asked me about racial issues,” Elías nodded and Remus blinked, Sirius looking down at him.

“This kid is what? Thirteen?” he asked.

“Fourteen,” Elías replied.

“Huh,” Sirius gave a little grin. “Well, he’s _aware_ of it. When I was thirteen, people aren’t me didn’t give a shit about what I had to say on my race. That’s good for him, though – he’ll be conscious and start unlearning racism easier than if he was eighteen.”

“I suppose?” Elías frowned a bit. “I couldn’t tell him much,” he snorted. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m Wonder Bread White.”

“What’s Wonder Bread?” Sirius frowned.

“American brand of white bread, nevermind,” Elías laughed. “Just – I’m very white.”

“Well, yeah,” Sirius laughed, nodding. “What did you tell him, then?”

“That he should listen to his friends of color, when they do speak about racism and how they feel about it, their experiences,” Elías told him and Sirius nodded.

“That’s a good one,” he said softly, nodding over at Remus. “This nerd here was the one who read up on it all, once our group started mentioning it.”

“Look, I’m a quarter Polish and a quarter Italian, I’m as white as the Spaniard here,” Remus chuckled, poking Elías’ side. “I wanted to be informed before I ever opened my mouth.”

“You did well. You listened to James and I,” Sirius nudged him with a foot, smiling. “It was always nice, to be heard. You absorb everything like a sponge. And you’re good at unlearning certain behaviors –” Sirius paused. “Well, _some_. I’m still trying to make you let go of all the lycanthrophobia you’ve got bottled up inside, mate.”

Remus flushed, “That’s _different_.”

“Yeah, it’s paired with low self-esteem,” Elías kicked Remus a bit, giving him a small smile. “But that’s nothing good therapy can’t do, alright? And we’ll help you along the way, give you all the support you need.”

“And when I get out,” Sirius took a deep breath. “I’ll… I’ll go, as well.”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up, “You will?”

“Yup,” Sirius gave a sigh, nudging Elías. “Angel convinced me.”

“I’m very convincing,” Elías beamed at Remus, who gave a groan.

“Fine, _fine_ ,” he sighed, rubbing his thighs. “I’ll… I’ll go to therapy.”

“ _Yes!_ ”

Elías threw himself at Remus, making him yelp but Sirius was soon upon the werewolf as well, the three of them a pile of limbs on the bed, laughing and kicking and just… being themselves for one night, without worries of the future or what would happen should everything not go as planned.

That night, they were simply friends.


	64. The Calling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a BEHEMOTH of a chapter, possibly to make up for those smaller chapters. I hope you all enjoy this but keep in mind, there's er... copious amounts of blood in this chapter.
> 
> Trigger Warnings in this Chapter:  
> \- Description of blood  
> \- Description of injury  
> \- Description of pain/kind-of torture(?)  
> \- Description of a panic attack  
> \- Talk of self-hatred

The Slytherin vs Gryffindor match was coming and Elías hadn’t remembered that it was until he entered the Great Hall on Friday morning, looking at the notes he’d taken that morning on _The Forbidden Art of Time_ , ready to ask Severus about a point or two when he saw the tension brewing between the Houses. He paused for a moment, glancing over at the Slytherin table, seeing Draco furiously talking with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team, for once forgoing his usual spot next to his friends. On the Gryffindor table, Harry seemed ready to wring Oliver’s neck as the captain lectured him nervously.

“I’d forgotten about the match,” he said lightly as he found his seat at the table, only a few of the staff there. Severus and Remus were nowhere to be seen yet but Pomona was happily piling up food into her plate and Minerva had an air of warring calm around her.

“I definitely did not,” she stated, touching the rim of her goblet, eyes narrowed. “Severus is not here yet. He must be up to something.”

“He hates Quidditch,” Elías laughed, grinning at her. “What could he possibly be up to?”

“Oh, lad, don’t you know already?” Pomona laughed, looking over at him. “Minerva and Severus always have this little rivalry thing going on with Quidditch!”

“No, no, I do know,” Elías chuckled as he reached for some freshly brewed coffee, filling his cup. “In all honestly, Minerva, Harry may have a Firebolt but it won’t stop Slytherin from scoring, now, will it?”

“ _Elías_!” she gasped, turning to him. “I thought you’d be on my side!”

“I am a _Slytherin_ , Minerva,” Elías replied, eyebrows shooting up. “I am _absolutely_ on Slytherin’s side and we will crush you Gryffindors before you can even _blink_.”

“We will see,” she narrowed her eyes, turning back to her breakfast.

Elías is delighted at the rivalry, grinning to himself as he looks over his notes and steadily rushes through breakfast. If Severus is busy, perhaps he could bring some of the breakfast he’s missed and discuss in the Dungeons, which was safer anyway. What he didn’t understand is why Remus wasn’t –

“Good morning,” Remus hummed as he sat between Pomona and Elías.

“Good morning, Remus!” Pomona smiled. “You look awful, dear, have you been resting well?”

“Well, I’ve been trying my best,” the werewolf replied throatily and Elías nudged some coffee his way, smiling softly.

“Hey there,” he murmured. “You alright?”

“Just tired, is all, nothing I can’t handle,” Remus promised, giving Elías a reassuring look. “What are those?”

“Oh, uh, notes I wanted to talk to Severus about,” he hummed. “I was hoping to catch him but he’s apparently busy this morning. I’m thinking of bringing him breakfast.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate that,” Remus smiled. “So tomorrow –”

“Is the gallery thing,” Elías nodded. “After the game, we leave?”

“Around five or so, yes,” Remus agreed as Elías gathered some breakfast on a plate. “Also – I believe Harry has the Firebolt now, right?”

“Doesn’t mean you’re gonna win,” Elías huffed, standing and bapping Remus with his notes, winking at him. “I’m going to love the crushed look on your face.”

Remus just laughed as Elías walked out of the Great Hall, plate in hand, feeling the day a bit colder than it should’ve been. Spring was in full swing but the sky was grey with clouds and Elías missed the brightness of Cádiz in the blooming season. In England, though, it just rained a lot.

He started to climb down the stairs to the dungeons with a little hum, knocking on the door, waiting patiently. To his surprise, nothing came and Elías blinked, opening the door slowly, poking his head in. He found the classroom empty but there was a brewing potion at the center, bubbling, smelling of plums and smoke – Pain-Relieving Potion.

Elías walked forward, leaving the notes over Severus’ desk, along with his breakfast, glancing at the interior of the wide cauldron. It’s one of the big ones, pewter, and the interior shimmers with the thick glue-like substance that was the potion. It hadn’t turned clear yet, instead bright in violet and Elías frowned. Severus should be here, this potion couldn’t be left unattended.

“Severus?” Elías called, looking around the classroom, worry spiking up. “…Sev?”

Nothing.

Elías walked towards his office, opening the door wide and found nobody. The fire was lit so he couldn’t have gone through the floo. Pursing his lips, Elías walked out of the office and moved down further to the stairs of his bedroom, knowing that he was breaching Severus’ privacy but unable to care when he was worried off his mind. Today was Friday _morning_ , it was a _school_ day, there was _nothing_ Severus had to do and that potion would burn and be ruined if he didn’t tend to it so there was something _wrong_.

Elías knocked on the door of his bedroom with a fist, heart in his throat, hearing no reply. After a minute, he just slammed the door open, walking in, seeing Severus shaking, face-down on the floor, ingredients spilled around him.

“Severus!” Elías gasped, rushing to him, hands rushing to pull at him, moving him on his back, seeing blood smeared on the side of his jaw, eyes wide. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ ”

The potions master grunted as Elías looked around him, trying to find the wound, trying to know what the _hell_ had happened.

“Sev? Sev, can you hear me? Can you see me?” he asked, cupping his face, waving some fingers as Severus’ bloodshot eyes opened, trying to focus. “ _Sol_ , I need you to tell me where it hurts, alright? I need – I need to know why you’re bleeding!”

“…m…ark,” he rasped, gritting his teeth, looking in pain as his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, making Elías freeze. “…ar…m…”

Elías glanced at Severus’ left arm, hands shaking a bit and, slowly, he reached for it, finding Severus’ sleeve wet. Elías swallowed, looking at his own fingers, finding them stained with red and Severus gave a groan of pain, making the Spaniard shake it all off before he just ripped the sleeve open, buttons flying, the sleeve of his white shirt completely red.

“ _Joder, joder,_ joder,” Elías cursed under his breath, reaching for Severus’ wand right next to this shaking body, ignoring the way the wand felt under his fingers as he ripped the fabric easily with it – and nearly screamed.

Staring at him, shifting within Severus’ skin, was the Dark Mark. The skull slowly opened its jaw wider, the snake slithering with red eyes and it _bled_. It bled heavily as it moved and Severus let out a noise of utter _pain_ , making Elías grit his teeth and feel his fury spike up.

“Oh, no, you fucking _don’t_ ,” he snarled, hand moving to pin Severus’ wrist on the floor before he used Severus’ own wand against the painful curse, breathing out what his sister had taught him a mere two years ago. Severus let out a broken scream, shoulder twitching but Elías kept his hold on his wrist, seeing the Dark Mark almost _vibrate_ , a screech coming from it.

Severus threw his hand towards the table near him, gripping the wood, making it _groan_ as he tried not to scream, sweat breaking out across his face as he looked at Elías, the Spaniard pouring all his fucking magic into the spell.

“Leave him the _fuck_ alone!” Elías hissed, the sound of the curse deafening, blood pouring from it at worrying levels and Elías thought for a moment that the snake would jump at his throat at any moment when it just –

Stopped.

Elías panted, exhaustion lacing his body but it was nothing compared to Severus, who went limp on the carpet, a stutter to his heaving chest. The bleeding had ceased but it had pooled on their clothes, the carpet, the stonework underneath it. Elías glanced at Severus, with his eyes closed as sweat and tears running down his face.

“What the _fuck_ was that?” Elías rasped, accent thick.

“Someone… called…” Severus rasped out, wincing. “Someone called… us all… forth.”

“What?” Elías breathed.

Severus tried to speak but a coughing fit ran through him and Elías rushed to help him sit up, the man heavily leaning into him, Elías swallowing as he noticed all the blood covering his pale, tattooed hands.

“It’s okay – it’s alright,” Elías assured Severus, holding him close, feeling the man barely able to stand. “I’m here, Sev, I’m not going anywhere,” he looked him over, eyes worried. “Can you tell me how long you’ve been bleeding?”

“Not… n-not long…” he gasped against Elías’ collarbones and Elías nodded.

“It’s still a lot of blood, Sev, shit, I’ve got to call Poppy,” he muttered, rushing to grip Severus’ wand again before lifting them both up with a featherweight spell, making Severus grunt. “You’re going to lay in bed _right now_.”

“Rep…lenishing potion,” Severus croaked out and Elías nodded.

“Yes, yes, I _know_ , it’s okay, Sev – just let me get you to bed, I can find your potions,” he promised, moving them both carefully into his bedroom, opening the door and finding it with an entire wall overlooking the depths of the lake, barely-there selkie lights illuminating an aquatic building. Elías didn’t pay too much attention to it, busy bringing Severus to his bed.

The potioneer did not complain but Elías was sure that it was because he barely had the consciousness to. Elías attempted to be gentle as he laid Severus but he was still heavy and Elías nearly toppled over him, hands leaving red stains on the white sheets, making him swallow. Red, red, red. He hated the metallic smell of blood.

“It’s going to be alright, I’m right here,” Elías told him as Severus winced, moving to take off his shoes and pull away his outer robes, swallowing at the blood that dripped from them. “Christ, Sev, _Christ_.”

“Tried… to get some relief,” Severus rasped, eyes half-closed, delirious with blood-loss. “Couldn’t – c-couldn’t finish –”

“Shhh, shh, I know, it’s not your fault,” Elías assured, making sure the pillows were right underneath his head, worry eating him from the inside out. “I’m going to go get that blood-replenishing potion, alright? And I’ll be right back.”

He tried to brush the crusting blood from his jaw for a second, hands fleeting over Severus’ almost limp body when he felt Severus’ hand moving to brush his cheek, making Elías freeze, watching his dark eyes opening. There was something peaceful in them, something calm and eerily _happy_ , almost. It made Elías’ veins freeze over.

“I’m not afraid,” Severus told him, voice quiet, soothing.

That was _enough_.

“Well, _I_ am, you fucking _imbecile_!” Elías snapped, making Severus stare, not expecting him to explode. “You don’t come to fucking breakfast and I find you bleeding all over the fucking rug, you think that’s funny?! You think that’s fucking alright?! No! _No, it isn’t_!”

He stood, slamming the door of the bedroom open, waving Severus’ wand that he still held so that the lights would appear on the chandeliers. He stomped through the wet floor towards the stocked potions that Severus had been trying to reach, looking for the Blood-Replenishing Potion.

“I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid, meh meh meh!” Elías mimicked mockingly, angry beyond belief as he reached for the pale pink phial at the top of the closet. “ _Gilipollas de mierda. Capullo ingrato. Te juro que si mueres en el puto castillo, me vuelvo puñetero nigromante solo para matarte yo mismo._ _Eres un – un –_ ”

He tried to find the words but all that came out was a frustrated sound, walking back to the bedroom, where Severus was still watching him with a confused look.

“Do _not_ dare to look at me like that for worrying about your sorry ass!” Elías spat at him, sitting by his hip and uncorking the phial angrily. “Drink up. _Now_.”

Severus hesitated for a moment, looking strangely at Elías before he reached with a shaky hand towards the potion and Elías suddenly let go of all his anger, sighing deeply, his hand sliding around the back of the other professor’s head and tilting it gently, pouring the concoction into his mouth. He watched him swallow it all with some difficulty before it was finally over and Severus dropped all his weight as if he’d run a marathon. Carefully, Elías set the phial on his nightstand and he realized that over the wood, resting carefully, was a familiar book.

 _The Good Neighbor_.

Elías looked at Severus, heart beating wildly and lungs collapsing, his eyes burning but the potioneer seemed to be exhausted. Elías set Severus’ wand on the nightstand as well, swallowing hard, petting Severus’ hair back, away from his face, leaving some streaks of red, still. The blood would crust under his nails, that he knew. He didn’t care, at the moment. He had to get Pomfrey.

“I’ll be right back, alright?” Elías told him, hand moving to cup Severus’ cheek, worried. “I need you to stay awake, Sev, can you?”

“I’ll t-try,” he rasped, his breathing only slightly ragged and Elías bit his lower lip, thinking of what was best for him, what was the best course of action.

Pomfrey. _Poppy_. That was the best, he’d just have to _run_.

Elías shifted into cat easily, leaping out of the dungeons, rushing up the stairs and through the hallways. He ran between students’ legs, causing a bit of a ruckus but perhaps it was due to the stained fur on his paws, turning from bright red to brown. At the very least, he was leaving no bloody paw prints around, that would surely alarm them all.

He reached the Hospital Wing in record time and Pomfrey turned to him with surprise as Elías shifted and wheezed, “Se – _Severus is bleeding_.”

She nearly dropped her mug of coffee, hands rushing to put it aside and lift up her skirts, shoving Elías out of the Wing. “Lead me there – what happened, professor? There’s – there’s blood all over your hands!”

“I don’t know, I don’t – it was the Dark Mark,” Elías stuttered to her, eyes wide. “He didn’t s-show for breakfast and – pardon, I must – I have to – catch my breath –” he wheezed.

“Is he stable?” she asked as they both rushed through the courtyard, a few students looking on to the both of them and Elías tried to hide his hands, swallowing.

“For now, h-he is,” Elías nodded. “Gave – gave him a Blood-Reple –”

“Good, good,” she pursed her lips. “If you shift and get back sooner, it’d be safer for –”

Elías was already shifting again, rushing along the hallways and he was pretty sure that he passed by Remus but he didn’t care at the moment. Finally slipping into the dungeons, Elías almost face-planted against a wall, shifting to human form as he entered Severus’ rooms, finally in the bedroom – where Severus was either asleep or unconscious.

“Sev, _Severus_ ,” Elías called, hunching over his body in the bed, eyes wide, hands cupping his face. “Wake up, _venga, cielo, venga, venga…_ ”

“…sorry,” he rasped as he blinked his eyes open, making Elías breathe out with relief.

“It’s alright,” he laughed a bit hysterically, sitting back slightly, petting over his chest. “It’s alright, Sev. Just – just stay awake a little bit longer, Poppy’s coming, okay?”

“…tired,” Severus murmured and Elías looking around, biting his lower lip, trying to think of anything that could keep Severus awake.

“Hey – _hey_ ,” Elías told him, leaning a bit further, hands gently pressing to Severus’ chest, shaking him softly. “What do you think of me taking over your classes today, huh? I’ve got none and you have First, Third and Fifth years today, right? Starting at ten? I can take care of that easily, I even have over an hour to prepare for it.”

“You… could…” Severus gasped out, laughing a bit and Elías felt a smile take over his lips at the raspy sound of it. It was nice, to know that even in pain, Elías could make him laugh. “I c-cannot… believe I’m… letting you d-do it…”

“Well,” Elías whispered, thumb brushing his bloodied jawline, eyes soft as Severus’ hand shakily gripped his arm. “I learned potions from the best.”

Severus’ lips upturned for a moment into a smile and Elías wanted to hug him, wanted to hold him together before he could shatter because he could see perfectly that this incident had shaken Severus to his core. It was affecting him and Elías wanted to fight every single thing that threatened to pull his friend back into that dark place from before – before Elías was able to make him laugh, open up, work through his issues.

“That’s a lie,” Severus told him through a wheeze but just as Elías was about to contradict him, they both heard Poppy walking in, Elías standing quickly so she could see where he was.

“Here! He’s here,” Elías told her and Pomfrey glanced at the blood pooling on the rug and stone floor, eyes wide. “He was bleeding from the Mark and I got here to see him shaking, it – it was moving and _bleeding_ and I had to perform a simple counter-curse on it!”

“A counter-curse?” Pomfrey asked, looking at Elías before gripping his wrist and immediately inspecting his face, his eyes, his teeth, making Elías jump. “No adverse effects… so you knew what you were doing.”

“My sister taught me how, she’s a curse-breaker,” Elías told her. “I wouldn’t have done it otherwise, it’s extremely dangerous.”

“Good to know there’s someone who actually knows what they’re doing,” Pomfrey huffed, moving to Severus, who groaned as she lifted his arm. “Lost quite a lot of blood but I trust Severus’ potions. The effect of the Mark usually reaches his bones until he answers to the call, whomever made it. Severus must’ve been rejecting it.”

“Gods,” Elías breathed, eyes wide. “It… it was vibrating. Did it… vibrate his _bone_?”

“Possibly,” Pomfrey muttered, cleaning his arm and starting to use her wand and magic to clean the wound and start to heal it the best she could. “It uses pain, after all.”

“Fucking _hell_ ,” Elías murmured, dropping on the carpet beside Severus’ bed, hand gently brushing Severus’ hair, swallowing. “I’ve gotten tattoos where the needle gets too close to the bone and it’s… so very painful. I can’t even think of what the whole bone…”

“He’s had worse, professor, that I assure you,” Pomfrey snorted, making Elías feel definitely not better, miserably watching Severus. “This damn mark… it’s deep, Dark Magic, I tell you, yes – nobody has been able to remove it without removing their whole arm.”

“Has anyone done it? Removing their whole arm just to get rid of it?” Elías asked quietly.

“Yes, Dumbledore and I myself worked on that case,” she nodded, cleaning the sheets of blood but saving her magic for the rest of the day. “Now, he can clean himself after he’s had enough rest. He should not teach today, alright? Make sure he has plenty of water and don’t give him solids for now. A warm soup should do the trick – I’ll let the kitchens know.”

“Thank you, Poppy,” Elías murmured, standing, looking over the Dark Mark – just like any other tattoo of his, now. Not moving, just… sitting there, still. Corruptive. _Evil_. Elías hated Voldemort more than ever right then, right there, silently fuming as the mediwitch left.

Elías moved towards the washroom, pulling out his handkerchief and wetting it under the sink, looking up at himself in the mirror and freezing as he saw blood on himself, not just his hands but his hair and face, the shape of Severus’ fingertips. The worry in Elías’ chest caved it in and he nearly doubled over to throw up his entire breakfast but he restrained himself, gasping into the porcelain sink, eyes closing.

This hadn’t just happened to Severus – it’d happened to Corban, to Toby, Will, Felix, Kiera, Narcissa, Lucius, Sienna, countless _others_. How many of them had answered the call? How many of them had wondered who it had been? _Who_ had it been? And _why_?

Elías washed his face in the sink as well as his hands and arms. He took his wand from the holster and finished the job, noticing his fingers shake a bit but he simply put his own wand back in its place and moved to Severus’ bed, climbing over it so sit on the empty side. Carefully, he pulled Severus’ hand onto his lap and began to clean his fingers.

He had thought the other professor had fallen asleep already but when he rubbed the back of Severus’ hand as he cleaned his nails, he felt the Slytherin weakly rub back. Elías looked up, surprised and worried but Severus looked much, _much_ more lucid than before.

“Hey,” Elías murmured, hand moving the wet handkerchief to brush his chin and jaw, getting rid of the blood stains. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” he confessed, eyes barely open, watching Elías.

“Understandable,” Elías smiled a bit, sliding closer to work on the sticky blood pooled at the base of his neck, swallowing. “You uh, gave me quite a scare, huh?”

“I’m sorry,” Severus rasped out, hand trying to move weakly but Elías chided him gently.

“Don’t move,” he whispered, his hip against Severus’ as he cleaned him. “You should rest, you can sleep now, Sev, alright? Pomfrey was here.”

“I know,” he murmured. “I was awake.”

“I see,” Elías sighed.

“I’m sorry,” Severus said again and Elías felt his heart sink in his ribcage, quickly shaking his head as he moved a bit closer. “I… shouldn’t h-have let you get close to t-the Mark…”

“It doesn’t matter now, Sev,” Elías told him softly, sighing. “I saw you bleeding out, I had to stop it. I had the means to do it safely.”

“It… was Pettigrew,” he told Elías, who felt his anger rise before he quickly tamed it.

“Did anyone answer?” Elías asked quietly. “Can you tell?”

“No,” he sighed, eyes falling shut. “Nobody… answered.”

“That’s good,” Elías murmured, relief washing over him, head dropping a bit for a moment, letting himself breathe. “Rest – rest for now, alright? I’ll tend to your classes. All you’ve got to worry about is sleeping. Are you thirsty? Hungry?”

“I’m… tired…” Severus muttered, starting to breathe slower, seemingly relaxing.

Carefully, Elías left the warmth of his bedside and walked around the bed to cover Severus with the blankets, finding him already asleep, chewing his lower lip with worry. Today he had the interview with the social worker in the afternoon, so he wouldn’t be able to check in on Severus much. Maybe he could contact Corban or –

Shit, _Corban_ –

Elías climbed out of Severus’ personal quarters with another Blood-Replenishing Potion in hand and rushed to the office, passing by Remus who was pulling the huge pewter cauldron from the fire, the smell of burnt potion a bit too intense.

“Eli, what happened?!” Remus asked frantically as Elías burst into Severus’ office, quickly putting out the fire.

“Dark Mark acted up, I’m checking in on the rest of them!” Elías told him, Remus’ eyes widening. “I’ll be back in less than an hour but know that it was Pettigrew who called on it!”

With that, he grabbed a handful of floor powder and threw it to his feet, disappearing into the flames and stumbling out with wide eyes, hearing a commotion nearby. The house he walked into was dark, smelled stale and almost abandoned but he had the potion in hand and he bypassed all of it to go towards the shouting voices.

“- UT IT OFF, _CUT IT OFF!_ ” Elías heard Corban’s familiar voice, making him run faster through unlit hallways.

“Can anyone just break the fucking connection already?!” Avery was screaming.

“I’m out of magic for today!” that was Kiera.

“ _MAKE IT STOP!_ ”

“He’s losing too much blood!” Felix snapped.

Elías burst into the room from the hallway, making everyone jump and reach for their wands before Avery gasped, eyes wide, seeing Elías uncork the bottle.

In the middle of the room, laying in a puddle of his own blood, with wide eyes and gaping mouth was Corban. Avery, Kiera and Felix also had blood dripping down their arms but it wasn’t the constant flow from Corban, who was screaming and biting into his own wrist. Elías quickly shoved the potion at Kiera and kneeled, pulling out his wand and shoving Corban’s arm to the floor.

“Hold him – hold him!” he told the others and Felix quickly put his weight into Corban’s shoulder, Kiera holding his wrist down while Avery pulled Corban’s head into his lap, trying to soothe the crying man. “This is gonna fucking hurt.”

He began to break the connection, the tip of his long wand pressing to the bleeding Mark and, just like with Severus’, it began to fight back – vibrate deeply, making Corban choke and splutter blood out, surely having bitten his tongue.

“Hold his mouth open!” Felix told Avery before he gripped his own wand and just shoved it between Corban’s teeth, Avery pressing his head to the side so he wouldn’t choke with all that blood. “Come on, come on, Corban!”

“I’m almost there!” Elías told them, hearing the Mark shriek, the vibration of the curse in his fingers now, making it all _hurt_ so much but Elías bared through it, gritting his teeth tightly, eyes dark. “Leave my friend the _fuck alone_!” he snarled and the connection snapped.

Corban’s whimpers filled the room and it was the only sound left, making Elías breathe out with relief, dropping his wand, _exhausted_. He felt his magic gasping for reprieve, for a little rest and he took a few deep breaths, Felix rushing to hold his back before he could fall.

“The potion,” Elías groaned and Avery immediately helped Corban swallow it down, Kiera softly crying as she gripped her own bloody arm tightly. “What the… _fuck_ was that?”

“Rejection,” Felix explained quietly, watching Corban slowly relax, head heavy in Avery’s lap as his friend gently brushed his hair out of his eyes. “Some of us… if we reject the message with our magic instead of letting it run through… that can happen.”

“Fucking Pettigrew,” Elías groaned, making them all tense up, look at him with surprise. “It happened to Severus, too,” he explained. “He’s resting in his – rooms but I thought it would happen to – all of you? So I went quick here, I was worried –”

“You may have just saved his life,” Kiera told him, making Elías shift uncomfortably.

“Perhaps,” Elías muttered, hand moving to her shoulder. “Are all of you alright? You’re bleeding, too –”

“It happens,” Avery told him, grunting. “When it hasn’t been used for long.”

“I see,” Elías murmured, pursing his lips. “Still, are you alright?”

“Yes,” Felix nodded, hand moving to brush his wife’s hair behind her ear, pulling her closer. “We are, we – we should take Corban to his bedroom.”

“I can –”

“ _No_. You’re magically drained,” Avery told him firmly, making Elías sigh. “Go back to Hogwarts, take care of Severus. We will come by tonight and check on him as well.”

“Alright,” Elías nodded, looking worriedly over Corban, who was barely conscious. “Please, take care of him, too? Please.”

“We will,” Kiera assured, his hand moving over Elías’ shoulder, squeezing. “Thank you, Elías. For thinking of him. For coming here.”

“Thank _you_ for not blasting me to the hell the moment I burst in here unannounced,” Elías tried to joke, making Kiera laugh a bit. “Seriously – take care. Let me know if everyone else is alright, too. I will see you later at Hogwarts.”

Elías stood – or tried to, wincing for a moment before Felix helped him up, thanking the archaeologist with a quiet voice. While Kiera and Avery made sure that Corban was attended, Felix guided Elías back to the main chimney, Elías finally taking a look around the… frankly depressing house. Manor? Mansion. Maybe castle.

“Where are we?” Elías asked quietly, voice echoing.

“Farnham, Surrey,” Felix answered, looking at the rainy, water-logged windows, unable to see the outside because of the weather.

“Right,” Elías murmured, looking down at his watch, able to walk on his own now but feeling his magic trying to pull at anything and everything. It was gasping for air and Elías had very seldom felt Drainage but he knew that he didn’t want to do it ever again. It felt awful, almost like anxiety sitting in his chest tightly and he uncomfortably tried to think of anything else.

“Why did you come?” Felix asked, breaking the quiet that had taken over.

“I… I thought what happened to Severus would happen to everyone else,” Elías muttered, swallowing. “Corban is alone. I know he spends most of the day here, repairing toys and trinkets. You all have someone, at least as far as I know? But I know for sure that… that Corban is alone,” he rubbed his arm, then realized his hands were once again full of blood, swallowing hard at the sight. “I was worried.”

Felix said nothing, looking ahead, his own hand around his elbow, holding it tightly. Elías didn’t hear the _drip, drip, drip_ of blood until then, looking over to see a trail of blood and for a moment, he was reminded of Hansel and Gretel leaving breadcrumbs on the forest to get back home. But these wouldn’t disappear, taken by birds, no. These would seep into the stone and stay, no matter how hard anyone tried to clean it.

Elías glanced away from Felix’ arm, swallowing, “How… are you feeling?”

“I’m alright. We all will be,” his voice came through strong and objective, as if there was no reason why Elías would ever doubt it. Elías wanted to believe him so very badly – he wanted to go tonight to sleep and know that everyone was alright, that somewhere in France Narcissa wasn’t sobbing into her hands and Lucius wasn’t in pain. “Severus had the same problem as Corban?”

“Yes,” Elías rasped, hands shaking a bit. “I… I was worried because he hadn’t come for breakfast. So I went to the dungeons and… and there was an unattended potion brewing and – and I had to g-go downstairs to his quarters and I…” Elías breathed in, trying to push away the burning in his eyes. “…I saw him _bleeding out_ on the carpet.”

“I see,” Felix pursed his lips, nodding slowly. “You helped him?”

“Yes! Of course I did!” Elías said, hands moving to his hair, pulling on it a bit. “Gods, I – I’m sorry, Felix, I’m just a _mess_ right now –”

“Understandable,” he explained. “You’ve exhausted your magic to break the connection of the curse twice, if I understood that right.”

“Y-yeah,” Elías murmured, rubbing at his eyes.

“And I don’t suppose you’re used to seeing friends bleed out,” he added.

“No, and I really don’t want to see it again,” Elías said, sniffling. “So… don’t bleed out, please. I have enough on my plate making sure all your kids pass Astronomy, yeah?”

Felix gave a laugh, making Elías chuckle a bit, the tension breaking slightly into something calmer. Felix gave that sort of feeling – calmness, control. Like anything that came at him, he was ready for. Elías wished he could feel that way himself.

Finally, they found themselves in the drawing room or living room, Elías wasn’t too sure but it was… drab and dark. Still smelled stale. There was dust gathering over the table and Elías looked around with worry, wondering why it looked like this, if Corban kept to one side of the manor or… if he just didn’t care.

“I should go back, then,” Elías murmured, hand gripping his holster tightly, swallowing. “Thank you for guiding me. Do… do let me know how he’s doing when we meet again tonight, alright?”

“I will,” Felix nodded, sighing. “Thank you, Elías. You truly… came at the right time.”

Elías nearly burst into tears but instead, he simply nodded, swallowing hard and moving to the chimney after grabbing some floo powder, throwing it at his feet and appearing again at Severus’ office, where Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey were all talking to Remus and Pomona. They all turned to Elías and Elías felt his vision go a bit fuzzy for a moment, hand rushing to grip a table before he could fall.

Remus was at his side in a minute, arm around his waist, “Elías!”

“Sorry,” Elías muttered, head dropping again his shoulder. “…magic drainage.”

“Where were you?” Dumbledore asked, looking over him and, granted, he _did_ look worried for Elías as Poppy quickly took his wrist, listening to his heart rate.

“At a friend’s,” Elías replied, making McGonagall blink. “He had the same… problem as Severus so I went there as fast – as fast as I could.”

“Which friend?” McGonagall asked politely, looking confused.

“Sorry,” Elías rasped out a laugh. “That’s private.”

“I see,” Dumbledore looked a bit colder but Pomfrey began to wave her hands.

“Out, out! Everyone out! I need to tend to this man before he passes out! Minerva, I’m sure you’d know where Severus keeps his Magic-Replenishing Potions?”

“Yes! Yes, I do,” she quickly nodded, walking out of the office as Remus helped Elías sit down on one of Severus’ spare chairs.

“Is everyone alright?” Remus whispered to Elías, looking worried and Elías nodded slowly, wincing.

“More or less,” he murmured as Dumbledore and McGonagall left the room. “I’ll tell you later – fuck, there’s this _bad_ pressure on my chest, Poppy, is that from the drainage?”

“No,” she rolled her eyes, lifting his head, checking over his face and prying his mouth open to check his tongue, Elías grunting. “That’s anxiety. I was made aware that you’re on medication now?”

“Are you?” Remus asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” Elías sighed as she let go of his tongue. “For anxiety and depression right now. Prozac – Fluoxetine, more specifically.”

“Twenty milligrams?” she asked.

“Ten for now,” Elías replied and Poppy nodded. “You know a lot about muggle medication?”

“I’m a medically trained witch, Professor Fernández,” she said, looking at him with a very serious look. “I’d be a fool to ignore advancements in my field simply because they’re muggle.”

“You’re the smartest person in this school, then,” Elías told her and Remus chuckled.

“Perhaps so,” she sighed, hand on his pulse again. “Now, breathe in for eight seconds?”

Elías did, already knowing the procedure: eight seconds in, eight seconds hold, eight seconds out. He did it until McGonagall came back, the pressure in his chest diminishing slightly and when the cyan-colored potion was presented to him, he quickly uncorked it and swallowed it down, ignoring the _burn_ of it down his throat and after a second, he gasped, hand on Remus’ arm, eyes closing.

“Oh, fuck,” Elías slurred, laughing a bit. “That’s – that’s _much_ better.”

“No more magic today for you,” Pomfrey told him firmly.

“Luckily, I’m a muggleborn,” Elías laughed, smiling up at her. “Thank you, Poppy.”

“You’re very much welcome,” she sighed.

“Severus said I could take over his classes,” he told McGonagall but Remus snorted.

“Are you going to, in this state?” he asked and Elías looked down at the blood all over him, wincing. “Let’s cancel the classes –”

“No, no, I can teach, I promise,” Elías told them all softly. “I’m not insane, I just need – need to keep busy, _please_. I’ve got a lot to do today. I’ll grab a pepper-up and I’ll be fine. No magic, eat plenty and all that, yes, Poppy?”

“I’ve found, in my time knowing you, that I cannot stop you from making stupid decisions,” she said blandly and McGonagall looked worriedly at Elías.

“You have classes tonight, though, don’t you?” she murmured.

“He does. And he also has a very important meeting at six,” Remus said, frowning at Elías. “Rest _up_ , Elías. Classes can be cancelled.”

“I don’t want to disa –”

“Oh, for _fuck’s sake_!” Remus snapped, making Elías jump a bit. “If Severus was awake, he’d be slapping you into bed, do _not_ think that he would just let you take over his classes when you’re in such a state! No!” he stood, arms crossing. “Go to bed. Rest up. Stop being an idiot, Elías.”

Elías shrunk a bit, cheeks burning and he finally gave a sigh and nodded, “Alright. Fine. I suppose I’ll go home for the rest of the day until my classes, if that’s alright with you all?”

“I’ll tell Dumbledore,” McGonagall nodded, hand moving to Elías’ shoulder. “Take care of yourself, Elías, alright? I’ll let the kids know that their classes are cancelled for today.”

“Thank you,” Elías muttered and Remus took out his wand and gave him a quick _scourgify_ , getting rid of the biggest splatters of blood in his clothes. “Thanks, Remus.”

“Come on,” he sighed, nodding towards the door. “Let’s get you back home.”

“Try not to let any student see you,” Poppy told them all. “We don’t want to cause panic!”

“Let me –” McGonagall quickly made Remus and Elías invisible and Remus gave a little sigh, arm moving around Elías’ shoulders to help him walk.

“Alright, let’s go.”

* * *

His house was impeccable when the two professors walked in, no longer invisible, from the chimney and Elías blinked – he’d cleaned yesterday thoroughly but this was a bit more. This was as if someone had run a whole-house cleaning spell, there were _new plants_ and it smelled like –

“Ma was here,” Elías murmured, feeling his chest a bit tight at the smell of jasmines.

“Oh?” Remus looked at him, confused. “I thought she was in Brussels?”

“She must’ve come down here,” Elías whispered, swallowing. “I need – I need to shower, I need to look decent, if she sees the blood, she’s going to _freak_.”

“Alright, alright,” Remus sighed, letting go of Elías as the Spaniard looked around, touching a new blanket over the back of the couch. It was yellow and red and he wondered if his mother had gotten it because it was the colors of the Spanish flag or because she’d listened to Elías when he’d spoken about Harry being from Gryffindor. He felt already so tired and it brought tears to his eyes, rubbing them away for a moment.

“She must’ve come around to make sure it’s perfect to _her_ standards,” Elías laughed wetly, hand over his chest, feeling like he was about to have a heart attack. “ _Ay_ , _mamá_ …”

“Elías?” Remus murmured as Elías felt everything spin for a moment, his body growing painfully hot, hand gripping the back of his couch tighter as the pressure in his chest increased and increased, tears roaming down his cheeks, pooling at his chin to drop. “Eli –”

“I can’t breathe,” he wheezed, breaking into a sweat, his knees failing.

This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. Elías looked with wide eyes at his hand, at his nails, blood underneath them and he kept hearing Corban’s scream in his ears, how much blood seeped into the rug and for a moment Elías believed that none of it was real, that it’d just been a nightmare, because it couldn’t be _real_. Corban had been laughing, he’d been laughing, Severus had been _smiling at him_.

They were all going to die.

“Elías – Elías, listen to me – breathe – _you need to breathe_ ,” he heard Remus in the background but all he could see was Bellatrix’s wand slashing into the air and Sirius’ eyes going blank, body disappearing into that stone arc. He could see it all clearly, all of them dead, there was no use to fight it, to change it, Elías wouldn’t ever be able to change _anything_ –

“ _Elías!_ ”

He was slowly falling to the floor, knees giving in and Remus quickly gripped his arms, making Elías whimper, crying hard, feeling his _teeth_ hurt and his skin crawl and for a horrible moment, Elías looked at Remus with wide, panic-filled eyes.

“I d-don’t want t-them to die,” he sobbed out, Remus’ gaze shockingly horrified. “They-re a-all g-going to d-die, we’re all g-going to die –”

“Nobody is going to die,” Remus told him firmly but Elías whimpered.

“He’ll c-come back,” he cried. “And we – we won’t be – we w-won’t be able to s-stop –”

“Elías, I need you to breathe,” Remus interrupted and Elías shook his head, sobbing loudly. “Please, please, _please_ , this is for – for _Harry_.”

Elías felt his breath hitch and his whole body went rigid, thinking of that boy – that sweet, soft, friendly boy who had his whole life ahead of him. How much would he need to suffer? How many people would try to use him for their needs, their wants, their political aims?

“Harry,” he breathed and Remus nodded.

“Harry,” the werewolf repeated quietly. “Harry, Eli. He’s counting on you.”

“He’s – he’s counting on me,” Elías blubbered, sobbing quietly. “He’s so good.”

“He is,” Remus nodded softly. “Today you’re going to prove that he’s going to be able to have a normal life here. With you. Yes?”

“Y-yes,” Elías nodded rapidly, hands shaking hard, those hot flashes making him wince. Those were the worst. “Yes, he – can have – he can have a n-normal… childhood.”

“That’s right,” Remus cupped Elías’ face, making the Slytherin’s breath stutter. “And you won’t do this alone, Eli. I’m right here. We’re all here. We’re all alive, we’re all _safe_. And Severus is safe and sound because of you. I know you’re shaken up by what you saw but you _did it right_.”

“I… did the right… thing,” Elías repeated, voice strangled. “Helped – Corban.”

“Corban, too,” Remus nodded, giving him a small, sad smile.

Elías watched him with rapid breathing, lower lip shaking hard before he burst into tears again, arms moving around Remus’ neck, trying to climb as close as he could against his friend. Remus welcomed him with tight arms, rubbing Elías’ back, filling something within Elías that he couldn’t describe. A simple hug, a simple closure. Elías had always needed touch to ground himself and he took it from Remus – he took and took and took and _took_ all he needed, for once uncaring of everything else, sobbing hard into his shoulder.

It was only after a few minutes that the pressure in Elías’ chest was nearly gone and he was fresh out of tears, hiccupping a little against Remus’ neck, feeling the Gryffindor’s fingers run through his hair and Elías closed his eyes, much calmer than before, the panic attack leaving him exhausted and almost frail in Remus’ arms.

“Feeling better?” Remus asked him quietly against his temple.

Elías only nodded against his neck, unable to speak, feeling a bit of shame crawl up his spine as he tried to grasp reality once more.

“Take a shower, Eli,” Remus told him kindly. “Wash it all off. Set up an alarm and go to bed. You need to rest.”

“Okay,” Elías swallowed, pulling back, feeling Remus’ hand move to cup his cheek and Elías was too tired and too sad to do anything but lean into the touch, sniffling a bit.

“What you did today was very brave,” Remus said and Elías gave a wet laugh.

“Brave? I was _shitting my pants_ ,” he croaked. “I felt like at any point – at any point I’d just cry or scream.”

“But you still did it,” Remus insisted, making Elías watch him without anything he could say. “Bravery isn’t reckless actions without fear. Bravery is doing what you think is right, _despite_ your fears. Bravery is being scared but still doing what you need to do, pushing through it.”

Elías watched him as Remus gently rubbed under his blue eye, thumb rough and Elías nodded slowly, understanding what he meant.

“I was scared for them,” Elías told him. “There was… so much _blood_ , Remus…”

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Eli,” Remus sighed, looking worried. “But at the very least, I’m glad to know you chose to keep going with your medication.”

“Y-yeah,” he sighed as well, looking at the collar of Remus’ shirt instead of his pale green eyes, clutching at his sweater, breathing in shakily. “I – I think it’s for the best. Harry needs… stability. And someone willing to look after him. He needs a functional _adult_ and I – I know I’m not the best e-example of one but… I will be. I’m going to be one,” he said firmly.

“It’s good that you want to care for Harry properly,” Remus told him. “But do remember that you’re human, too, Eli. That just because you’ve a bad day, doesn’t mean you’re a bad guardian. All you need to do is… well, let him know that you’re not alright in that moment. Talk to him, is all.”

“Talk to him,” Elías nodded, swallowing. “Yeah. Talk to him, that’s – a good one.”

“Yes,” Remus looked a bit amused, hand brushing Elías’ hair back. “Now you need a shower and some good sleep.”

“I really _do_ , don’t I?” Elías mumbled, eyes closing. “M’sorry, Moony.”

“Don’t apologize for having a panic attack, Eli, _Merlin_ , no,” Remus quickly said, pressing their foreheads together, making Elías grip his sweater tighter. “Please. You’ve been putting up with so much bullshit from me and the moment you panic a little, you apologize? No, no. We’re friends, alright? And – and I know I can be a real arse sometimes but I do care about you. And having a panic attack isn’t _wrong_. You did nothing wrong.”

“Okay,” Elías sighed, blinking as Remus pulled back, standing, helping Elías stand.

“Are your legs working?” Remus asked him, had tight on his.

“Yeah, I think so,” Elías looked down, watching his shoes. “Thanks.”

“It’s no trouble,” Remus insisted, looking at the clock. “I’ve class now, unfortunately. But you shower and rest. Don’t forget the alarm and – well, I’ll come and check on you once the classes are over, anyway.”

“Alright,” Elías watched Remus for a moment, feeling gratefulness swell up in him and he squeezed his hand, making Remus look back at him, almost startled. “I think I’d sink down if you weren’t around, Moony,” Elías told him quietly, making Remus swallow visibly. “Thank you for keeping me afloat.”

“Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground,” he replied and Elías mustered a quiet, private smile for him, fingers sliding off Remus’ as he walked to the hallway, up the stairs, leaving Remus to exit via floo.

* * *

“You know, I think I’ve never seen someone take so many precautions about the cleanness of their home as you have,” Ofelia, the social worker laughed as she finally sat down on Elías’ couch, making his laugh a bit, his hands and clothes and face looking as pristine as _El Rompido_.

“I did clean but my mother was so adamant about shining floors…” he joked, making her laugh again. “She’s very involved in my life. My entire family is.”

“That’s good, that’s good,” she murmured, nodding slowly, scratching something on her pad with her quill. She was from Canarias, obviously had the accent. “Now, I know we’ve been drilling you with questions for an hour but I’ve a few more to go, would that be alright?”

“Go for it,” Elías nodded.

“Are you in any sort of relationship right now?”

“No, not at all,” Elías shook his head. “And no crazy exes, either.”

“That’s actually something to keep in mind,” she sighed a bit, writing down once more on her pad. “Tell me a bit about your family background?”

“Well, I come from a military family,” Elías explained. “My entire family except my sister and I are muggles. I studied as a muggle until eleven, when I chose to go to Hogwarts. Most of my family is Spanish but we do have close Belgian and Italian relatives and even some British. My father is a colonel, navy, and he’s currently working in Brussels. My mother is a professor giving English classes in Brussels as well. My sister is currently working for the Spanish Ministry of Magic and she is also a certified curse-breaker.”

“So you do get along with your family,” Ofelia said, looking around at the pictures. “It was clear to me, the moment I stepped in. Harry would enjoy a big family, from what Nymphadora has said.”

“I hope he does,” Elías replied, nodding slowly, hands clasped together.

“What is your level of education?” Ofelia pushed her glasses up her nose and Elías heard a door open and close on the hallway, Tonks roaming around to make sure the house was all up to code.

“I finished Hogwarts,” Elías told her, making Ofelia nod. “And after that, I went to college in Madrid – did not finish, though they did give me a bunch of college credit that I can retake and keep in case I do want to follow up in the future.”

“Why did you not finish college?” she asked.

“Discovered it wasn’t really for me,” Elías said, more or less the truth. “I studied music but… something else called out to me.”

“Hogwarts, yes,” she nodded, scribbling down on her notepad, looking at her notes. “Tell me about your daily life in this house, outside of the school – how do you go about your day?”

“Well, if I don’t have work and it’s vacation,” Elías began with a little chuckle. “I wake up around ten or so? Maybe later, depends on the previous night. I make breakfast – sometimes coffee, sometimes I’ll go over to the orange farm nearby? In El Puerto de Santa Maria? They sell oranges for so low and I’ll use them for anything. Breakfast, I go take a swim or if it’s too cold, read up at home. I… play a lot of music so sometimes I’ll call up a cousin or a friend and jam in here.”

“I’ve seen that, yes!” Ofelia nodded, looking at the guitars and bass guitars, the piano on the side, the amps. “Are you going to teach Harry anything?”

“If he wants to, yes,” Elías shrugged, laughing. “But I’m pretty sure he’d be happier with a sport. The kid is gifted at Quidditch and he loves it so much.”

“Mhmm, mhmm,” Ofelia nodded with a smile, scribbling again. “What’s your parenting experience, Elías?”

“As I said before, I’ve quite a big family,” Elías explained to her. “I’m one of the – well, not the oldest cousin but around there? So many little cousins – I’ve learned to take care of kids from two years of age to fifteen years of age.”

“Ah, I see,” she hummed. “Babysitting?”

“More au pair, sometimes,” Elías corrected and Ofelia nodded slowly, looking more satisfied, scribbling something down. “I’ve been taking care of kids since I was old enough to, I’ll be honest. And now, as a teacher, I think I understand them even more.”

“We asked a few of your coworkers about your reputation,” she said and Elías blinked, surprised as Ofelia searched for some papers within her folder, Tonks walking into the living room with a bright smile.

“Blimey, Elías! You’ve got a really old house!” she pointed out.

“Er, yeah,” Elías laughed a bit, rubbing his arm. “It was my grandmother’s.”

“Proper bright, too, light is just _everywhere_ ,” she moved to sit down beside Ofelia, who looked over her papers. “Why don’t you two speak in Spanish?”

“That’d be unprofessional of me, since this is includes you and the basis of all these rules are by the British Ministry of Magic,” Ofelia told Tonks, holding out some papers. “We have heard so far that you’re dedicated to the children, that you make extra efforts to help them and that the kids around you trust you very much.”

“I’d like to think so,” Elías said softly, in his head wanting to thank his friends, the rest of the faculty in helping him look better in front of the social workers. “Those kids mean a lot to me. I take my job very seriously, Ofelia, Tonks. I… I want to give Harry a good home.”

“And Harry wants to come with you, too!” Tonks nodded, grinning wide. “Whenever he’s come by, he’s always asked if he’s going to go with you!”

“That’s good,” Ofelia gave Elías a slow smile. “If the child trusts you, then you’ve got half the battle won, Elías.”

“Thank you,” Elías swallowed, hope burning in the pit of his stomach.

“There’s just two more things that we have to speak about,” Ofelia said, making Elías nod. “In here, in your medical records, it says that you’re on antidepressants?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded. “I’m bipolar and I have anxiety.”

“How long have you been diagnosed?” she asked.

“Anxiety, about er… seven? Years?” Elías counted a bit before nodding. “Seven, yes. Bipolarity was a bit more recent. They switched my diagnosis from depression to bipolarity about a year and a half ago.”

“And how have you been coping?” Ofelia asked, making Elías decide to be honest.

“I follow my therapist and psychiatrist’s instructions, to be honest,” he laughed. “Sometimes there’s bad days, but I make sure I always have someone to back me up with them. I’ve got a great support in my family and friends and I know that mental health is important to take care of – if I do have bad days, I’ll let Harry know and I’ll try to be a transparent with him as possible.”

“That’s a _damn_ good answer!” Tonks told him and Ofelia nudged her. “ _Oof!_ ”

“Impartial, Nymphadora, _impartial_ ,” she reminded her, making Tonks nod quickly and try and adopt a serious face. “And another thing – your status as transsexual.”

Elías felt his veins turn to ice and Tonks’ eyes went wide, making Elías breathe out shakily. Fuck. _Fuck_. No, no, _no_ , this wasn’t happening –

“Transsexual is old,” Tonks corrected, making Elías and Ofelia look over at her, who was making a face. “We say transgender, Ofelia.”

“O-oh. Right. Sorry,” she pushed up her glasses, clearing her throat. “Forgive me, I don’t have much knowledge of… sexualities and such.”

“It’s gender, not sexuality,” Tonks corrected again and Ofelia blew out a breath as Elías nearly kissed Tonks in grateful reprieve. “Look, Ofi – I’ve got this, alright? I know about this stuff. Let me take over.”

“Very well,” she murmured, giving Tonks the notepad and standing. “I’ll check the house as well, while you two work with each other.”

“Alright,” Elías swallowed, watching her leave before Tonks turned to him.

“Look, she’s being obnoxious, it’s _fine_ ,” she quickly said and Elías breathed out with relief. “Doesn’t matter if you’re trans or not, she’s only asking because you did send us your medical records and she noticed it was a gynecologist – I’ll clear it all up for you.”

“Thank you,” Elías murmured, rubbing his face. “You’re – just _thank you_.”

“Hey,” Tonks nudged his foot, making him look up. “I’m also trans, so – don’t worry.”

“Ah,” Elías immediately relaxed, laughing quietly, hand rubbing over his mouth. “What pronouns do you use?”

“They/them. I don’t mind too much she/her but they/them is _much_ better,” Tonks said, a wide smile on their face and Elías nodded, giving her a big grin back. “The house looks _fantastic_ , Elías. If you’re not the one picked, I’m gonna be real pissed.”

“I’ll just cry,” he mumbled, making them laugh again.

“Mate, it’ll be _fine_ ,” they punched his arm and Elías felt relief washing over him. “You nailed the interview. It’s got all the good things ticked!”

“Is he doing alright? As – as a social worker, how is he doing?” Elías asked them and Tonks looked thoughtful.

“He’s… a strong boy,” they began slowly. “But he does have some scars – outer and inner. I think it’s for the best if he goes to a recommended therapist by the bureau, yeah?”

“I think that’s a fantastic idea,” Elías nodded.

“You’ll do fine,” they assured, sitting up straight before stretching, quickly writing down on the notepad. “Woo! We’re done!”

Elías couldn’t help but smile, shoulders sinking with relief, looking at the clock to see that it was nearly dinner time. He wanted to check on Severus so very badly – Remus had come by earlier to tell him that the potions master was still asleep, resting, but Elías wanted to see him, wanted to… see him with his own eyes.

“I should get back to Hogwarts,” Elías nodded as Ofelia came back, a bright smile on her face.

“You’ve got quite a beautiful house, Elías,” she told him as Tonks stood next to her, their hands moving into the pockets of their jeans. “We’re leaving – quite happy, too.”

“Glad to hear it,” Elías reached over to shake her hand, then shake Tonks’ enthusiastic grip, laughing a bit. “I’ll wait to hear from you.”

“Around May, we’ll have the results,” Ofelia told him – an entire month and some. Elías nodded, though, not daring to complain. “Have a good day, Elías.”

“You both as well,” he bid, letting the two of them walk out through the chimney before he dropped on one of the dining chairs, eyes wide, whining a bit to himself. “Fuck, Christ, _shit_ , oh _Gods_ , that’s over. That’s over and _done with_.”

He took a few deep breaths, rubbing his face before looking over at his kitchen, biting his lower lip. It was _almost_ time for dinner but now quite yet – in fifteen minutes he could make an easy French onion soup, which was amazing for anytime anyone felt like shit. Severus hadn’t eaten breakfast and he was pretty sure that he hadn’t eaten lunch, either, so…

Elías stood, pushing back his sleeves and moving to the kitchen, starting to pull out some Brandy, onion and beef stock.

* * *

The day hadn’t improved much at Hogwarts when Elías arrived, carrying the usual thermos. It was raining by now but Elías didn’t care much, because this time the thermos and its contents were for Severus, not Sirius. He took a soft knitted blanket from over the back of his couch and made sure he had everything he needed before starting to go down the stairs of the Astronomy Tower – only to find Harry, Ron and Hermione there.

“Professor!” Hermione gasped.

“Hey,” Elías said softly, walking over to them, frowning. “What are you all doing up here?”

“Professor Snape cancelled his classes this morning,” Ron said quickly. “And there were rumors that you had blood in your clothes!”

“What happened?!” Hermione cried out.

“Did someone get hurt?” Harry murmured.

“Whoa! Hey, hey!” Elías quickly moved his hands to the kids, one of Harry’s shoulder and the other one over Ron’s arm. “There _was_ blood but it was simply an accident! I had to go get Pomfrey real quick, is all! Severus got hurt and I had to act quickly, he’s already recovering and resting in his rooms. Everything is okay,” he promised softly.

“You’re not hurt?” Ron asked and Elías felt tenderness shake him at the worry in his bright eyes. “You weren’t at the castle all day!”

“No, Ron, I’m okay,” Elías told him, smiling softly. “I just came from the interview with the two social workers, one of them Tonks. That’s all.”

“How did it go?!” Hermione asked as Harry’s eyes widened.

“It went well,” Elías replied, smiling widely at Harry. “Can’t wait for you to see the house, if they accept me as your guardian. On Monday we spent a lot of time painting your room.”

Harry looked speechless for a moment, watching Elías with those bright forest green eyes, hand tight on Hermione’s arm.

“You… painted a room for me?” he whispered and Elías nodded, crouching a bit since he was on the upper stairs.

“Burgundy,” he told Harry, watching as Harry’s face brightened and he grinned widely, his happiness showing through, making Elías laugh. “With some gold details, too, but that was Remus’ idea – since he’s been in the Gryffindor dorms, he knew better than I did.”

“Professor Lupin helped you?” Harry asked, smiling.

“Mhmm,” Elías nodded. “He helped me out a lot with this.”

“I – I should thank him,” Harry said, turning to Ron and Hermione, who both nodded eagerly. “You… you’re really giving me a room? In… your home?”

“Of course, Harry,” Elías told him softly. “The moment I know you’re coming with me home? Then we’re going to go get you a nice bed, a real desk, we’ll go on an IKEA trip!”

“Never been to IKEA,” Harry admitted.

“You haven’t?!” Hermione gasped.

“What’s IKEA?” Ron asked.

Elías gave a laugh, ruffling Ron’s hair, “When we go, maybe you two should come along. It’ll be fun! You’ll get to decorate your room however you want!”

“That’s so much fun!” Hermione told Harry, jumping a bit on her heels.

“I can lend you some posters!” Ron told Harry excitedly. “And – and – and we could hang a bunch of Gryffindor banners! Er, if – if that’s alright with you, sir,” he told Elías, looking over at his get-up of green and silver, making Elías laugh.

“As long as you all keep it in his room, I’m fine with it,” he teased, smiling at them. “In any case, I’ve to check on Professor Snape and get ready for tonight’s lessons. I hope you three have finished your homework!”

“Oh, blimey!” Ron gasped and Elías gave a little laugh as Hermione began to scold Harry and Ron, the professor walking down the stairs a bit faster, thinking of Severus and the way he’d looked so deathly pale in his bed, blood still between his fingers.

He passed by some students that asked him about Severus, too, and Elías kept up the same excuse – just an accident, Severus was already recovering, nothing to worry about. It was just a messy one. They were all calmed down by Elías’ gentle demeanor but inside, Elías was buzzing and ready to storm through the crowd to get to the dungeons.

One he was lowering the stairs, he felt a bit more nervous, knocking on the door first, opening it quickly when there was no answer. The classroom was empty and there was no movement and Elías quickly moved to the office, opening it as well – nothing. Severus was still in the bedroom.

Elías felt a spike of worry – it was so late, it was almost twelve hours after he’d gone to rest, he couldn’t possibly still be sleeping, right? _Right_?

Elías lowered the stairs to Severus’ quarters, heart in his throat, thinking of that puddle of blood and his ragged breathing and this time he didn’t even knock, opening the door wide, hand almost dropping the thermos to grab his wand but when he stepped inside, Elías gave a yelp and Severus a shout of surprise.

Immediately, face bright red, Elías turned around, wheezing, “Sorry, sorry, sorry!”

“ _Elías_!” Severus snapped, making Elías’ shoulders lift up, the Spaniard watching the stairs with wide eyes, trying to – to not think of – _fuck_.

“I didn’t know you’d be _wandering about shirtless_!” Elías defended.

“I was _changing_ , everything has _blood in it_ ,” Severus told him, irritated and Elías heard him rapidly moving to the door in front of him, shutting it and throwing the lock for good measure, grunting as he looked at Elías, his blood shirt still in hand. “What the _hell_?”

“I am _so sorry_ ,” Elías told him, daring to look up and –

Yeah, _yep_. Still shirtless.

Gods, Elías was _weak_ at the knees. He’d seen Severus’ strength plenty of times but he hid his body so well under dark tunics and billowed sleeves that it didn’t really register in Elías’ mind just how _fit_ his upper body was until then. He wasn’t even extremely muscles but the definition was there, along with scars from times past – one over his ribs on the left side, a few over his chest speckled with dark hair and Gods, fuck, _shit_ , Elías was way too fucking queer for this.

“If you’re done staring,” Severus said dryly, making Elías slap a hand over his eyes. “Would you tell me what on Earth you’re doing _here_?”

“Do you _not_ remember what happened this morning?” Elías asked him, incredulous, hand dropping from his eyes as Severus gave Elías his back, balling up his ruined shirt. His shoulders also had scars, and a _lot_ more. Elías watched it with a bit of sadness sinking in, the urge to move forward and touch them way too strong.

“I do,” Severus muttered, looking through the trunk at the foot of his bed, muscles shifting and alright, Elías needed a fucking _timeout_ , hand running through his hair, feeling his cheeks and ears go red. “I remember… most.”

“You weren’t at breakfast,” Elías told him, approaching a bit once he’d left the thermos and blanket over the couch, walking towards the bedroom with his arms crossed, frowning. “I worried a bit, got you some on a plate but… when I came down, there was an unattended potion. And you… you weren’t anywhere. I got worried.”

Severus paused, hands on the edges of his trunk, giving out a deep breath.

“I came down here,” Elías murmured. “And… you were bleeding by this table.”

“I rejected the call,” Severus told him, voice rough and Elías swallowed. “I… I was a _fool_ , I should’ve just let it go through.”

“You can’t control the way you react to something so painful, Sev,” Elías told him quietly, moving just a tad closer, wanting to break this wall Severus was trying to build between them. “You didn’t want to let it pass, you want to get away from it – that’s human. That’s completely understandable.”

“If I hadn’t been so _foolish_ , you wouldn’t have needed to break the connection,” Severus hissed out, back tensing and Elías realized that what he couldn’t read on his face, he could read on his body. Elías read every mole, every scar, every birthmark and vein that he had – and he had plenty of them. Except the birthmark… that one was simply a spot near the base of his neck.

“I was taught by my sister how to do it, Sev,” Elías whispered. “It’s alright, I wasn’t harmed. Poppy checked on me, too.”

“No, you _don’t understand_!” Severus barked and Elías tensed up because he _hated_ the way it echoed through the room, he hated the way his brain screamed _get away_ , he hated the way he immediately thought _I hate it when men scream at me_.

“Help me understand, then,” Elías begged, closing the distance fully, hand moving to Severus’ arm, gently wrapping around the upper side and pulling until the Dark Mark was fully on display for Elías. Severus hung his head, glaring at the floor, looking equal parts angry and guilty, the self-hatred palpable in the air. “Sev – Sev, could you look at me, please?”

“Why must you insist on seeing it?” he whispered, defeated, eyes finally catching Elías’ big blues. “Why do you make me face that which I cannot, do not _want_ to face?”

“Running away won’t make it disappear,” Elías told him, laughing dryly. “Trust me, I was a fucking _professional_ at running away from that which I didn’t want to face.”

“You’d read a list of shameful things I’ve done and still look at me with – with –” Severus struggled to find the words, watching Elías, making a wounded noise when Elías’ hand dropped to hold his, entwining their fingers. “Why must you break my skin open every time you’re near me?” he murmured and Elías felt his throat close up, heartbeat in his ears, watching Severus back as the potioneer’s hand enclosed around his. “You come bearing kind words and messages of encouragement, you give me hope of finding myself among all this underwater distortion from a cult I was in for most of my life.”

Severus looked vulnerable and frustrated and Elías did not know what to say, finding Severus’ hands clammy with sweat and nerves and openheartedness.

“You don’t even seem like you’re putting effort,” Severus told him, making Elías shake his head but Severus tightened his grip on Elías’ hand and pulled him much closer, almost hissing at him. “You just stand there and smile and promise it’s all going to be alright and for the life of me, I can’t _deny you_. I can’t _deny you_ , Elías.”

“Severus –”

“I don’t want you to corrupt your soul for my sake,” Severus told him firmly, jaw tight. “I wish you would look away and step aside and forget all these dreams of redemption that you bring me. It’d be so much easier for me to hate you, to push you away, to stop trying.”

“I don’t like taking the easy way,” Elías finally said, voice rough, his other hand moving to grip Severus’ chin when he tried to look away, forcing him to look into his very much sober eyes. “Life is not something to get by, Severus, it is something to _enjoy_. And by Morpheus, I am going to pull you out of your own misery whether you like it or _not_.”

“I wish I hated you,” Severus told him, his free hand moving around Elías’ wrist, almost uncomfortably tight. “I wish you hated me, too.”

“You cannot,” Elías replied, firm. “And I will not.”

There was a moment of stillness, a pregnant pause, waiting for the wave to break, to crash, something wild and rapid. It was the eye of the storm and the two stared, waiting for the other to make the first move, waiting for the storm to come back once more.

“Elías –”

There was a loud knock on the door and the two snapped their gaze to it, Severus quickly letting go of the Astronomy professor and vice versa, stepping back slightly.

“Severus?” came Avery’s voice, making Elías breathe out with relief, moving towards it while Severus quickly pulled on a shirt, clearing his throat. “Are you al –”

Elías unlocked the door and pulled it open, finding Avery now with clean clothes and his flaming hair pulled back, his eyes snapping to Elías.

“He’s alright,” Elías murmured, stepping aside. “Come in, come in – how’s Corban?”

“He’s stable, for now,” Avery replied, walking forward towards Severus, his eyes blazing. “You –”

“I was an imbecile, I know,” Severus grunted.

“You fucking _wanker_!” Avery slapped him over the head, Severus grunting. “Rejecting a _fucking call!_ What did you want to do, _die?!_ If Elías hadn’t been there, you would be fucking dead!”

“Avery, please,” Elías murmured, closing the door and approaching him. “He… he knows it was bad. We’ve been talking.”

“Well, _I_ haven’t talked!” Avery snapped, hands on his hips. “I swear to fucking _Salazar_ , if I find Pettigrew I’m going to _wring_ his little neck until his head snaps clean off!”

“Sit down, calm down,” Severus told him, glancing at Elías before quickly looking at Avery, avoiding his gaze, making Elías swallow before he sat on one of the armchairs. Avery followed him, sitting primly on the couch, glaring at Severus. “Corban, too?”

“Yes! Yes, him too! He was _bleeding out_ when Elías came in with a Blood-Replenishing Potion and a _curse-breaking spell_!” Avery gestured at the other professor and Severus looked at him intensely, making Elías’ toes curl with… something. He didn’t know what, exactly.

“You… saved Corban?” Severus asked in a thread of voice.

“I thought – I thought he’d have no one,” Elías murmured. “I was worried about him.”

“You went to him,” Severus rubbed his face, sitting down heavily on the other armchair, sighing deeply. “…of course you did. You _care_ about him.”

“Of course I do!” Elías defended a bit, feeling as if he were being called a fool. “He’s my friend, too, Severus. I – I wasn’t going to let him _die_.”

“I know,” Severus finally looked up, exhausted, suddenly noticing the thermos at the table, reaching for it, frowning. “What is this?”

“French onion soup,” Elías murmured, making Severus’ eyes rise to his. “…thought it’d be nice for you after such a long day.”

Avery, from the couch, gave a snort and Elías glanced at him, seeing his amusement and the mischievous look in his eyes as he watched Severus open the thermos and smell the contents.

“What?” Elías asked Avery, confused.

“Nothing, darling,” he sighed, hand patting Elías’ arm. “You’re just that – a darling.”

“Er… thanks,” Elías mumbled, not knowing what to say before he stood, rubbing the wrinkles off his pants, clearing his throat. “I should… probably leave now. I’ve got a class to prepare and dinner should be ready at the Great Hall. If you, um, need anything, just let me know.”

He walked out of the dungeons, unable to forget Severus’ intense, dark eyes as he bid goodbye – there’d been something in them, something he couldn’t decipher. But he was too tired and too sensible for them tonight. Perhaps another day, he’d find out.


	65. The Cards' Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof oof y'all, big chapter incoming. Prepare yourselves for some emotion.
> 
> Songs for this Chapter:  
> \- Hey Lover by Daughters of Eve
> 
> Trigger warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Anti-Slytherin sentiment  
> \- Pessimism (a lot of it)  
> \- Time Travel-related death  
> \- Mention of addiction, depression  
> \- Mention of college

Elías woke up on Saturday with a pounding headache and his face against Remus’ ribs, hearing him snore quietly. He groaned, hand pressing to Remus’ face, making him _stop_ as he startled awake, blinking up at the ceiling.

“Fuck,” Elías groaned, sitting up on the couch, a kink in his neck which he tried to desperately rub away. “We fell asleep on the couch.”

“Oh, I’m _too old_ for this,” Remus whined, hand moving to his back, arching it until Elías heard a crack, making him laugh. “Shite.”

“What time is it?” Elías rubbed his eyes, blinking at the window, finding the sky still dark, stars speckled in it. He looked down at his watch and groaned, “It’s five in the fucking _morning_.”

“We could sleep four more hours,” Remus rasped, eyes closing, head back against the backrest of the couch. “…it’d be nice.”

“My head is going to explode,” Elías whined, rubbing his temple and Remus gave a sigh before he stood – not without another creak of his knees, making Elías laugh – and moved to his bathroom cabinet for the spare pack of ibuprofen Elías had given him. “Today’s the match, right?”

“Yes,” Remus yawned widely and Elías stood, running his hands through his messy hair before deciding to just pull it into the loosest braid he could manage, thanking Remus quietly for the glass of water and the pill, downing both of them with a sigh. “Hurts a lot? Might be dehydration, Eli.”

“Might be,” he mumbled, closing his eyes briefly as Remus put his cold, cold hands on his face, making Elías lean into him. “Mmm… that’s nice…”

“Thought it would be,” Remus chuckled, his hair everywhere and bags under his eyes and a wrinkle on the side of his cheek from where his fucked up collar shirt had pressed. Elías sighed slowly and smiled at him. “How do you feel?”

“Better than last night,” he confessed, remembering the second breakdown he’d had in Remus’ rooms about Severus and the ex Deatheaters. “I’m… really sorry about yesterday.”

“As I said,” Remus reminded him. “Don’t be. You’re allowed to be human, Eli. I don’t understand why in your eyes I get to have seventeen crises a week but Merlin forbid you’ve two in one day after two of your friends were in danger.”

Elías laughed a bit, giving him a sheepish smile, “I’ve got a bit of a problem with double standards, huh?”

“Only a bit,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head and moving to the bedroom. “Come on. We need to sleep some more – you need it, I need it.”

“Lend me a shirt or something,” Elías yawned widely, stretching his arms above his head before frowning. “We didn’t go see Sirius tonight, he’s bound to be worried…”

“I caught Crookshanks on the way to the Gryffindor Tower,” Remus explained as he searched through his wardrobe for his pajamas and something for Elías. “Sent him to Sirius so he probably knows more or less what happened.”

“Alright,” Elías muttered, still worried about Sirius being away, so isolated, taking the worn shirt Remus offered him. Elías unfolded it, moving towards the living room when he paused, taking a good look at it. “Hey, you wore this one in Halloween of ’77, didn’t you?”

Remus blinked, turning to Elías, watching him with a startled but amused look, “I will never fully comprehend how you can remember that.”

“I remember fuck all except my Sights,” Elías mumbled, looking over it with a little laugh. “And that one Sight was nice, actually. You guys were in… Sixth or Seventh year? I don’t know but what I do know is that you all snuck Firewhiskey into the Gryffindor dorms.”

“That we did,” Remus snickered, their backs to each other as they changed into something more comfortable, if only out of politeness. “I got… so very drunk.”

“I didn’t see much, just Sirius and James on the table of the Common Room singing shanties,” Elías laughed.

“Merlin, that hangover was the worst,” Remus grunted and Elías pulled off his shirt to pull on the worn, simple tee, which was not absurdly big on him, _finally_. It still was too tall for him, though, and he felt comfortable enough to ditch his jeans, putting them over the back of the couch. “Do you need a pepper-up?”

“No, that would wake me up,” Elías sighed, turning to see Remus in his usual ratty shirt and comfortable soft pajamas, moving to his bed and face-planting in it. “ _Nnnngh_ , sleep.”

Remus laughed, turning off lights and actually getting ready for bed, unlike Elías who just curled up against the wall, hogging up all the blankets and squirming happily. After something as uncomfortable as the couch, this was a blessing.

“Comfy?” Remus teased as he finally got to bed, pulling the curtains over the window in the bedroom and setting an alarm spell.

“I’m a warm little cinnamon roll,” Elías stated, knees to his chest and face against the pillow.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to lend some of the blankets?” Remus asked, one knee on the mattress, pulling at the corner.

“ _No_ ,” Elías said, turning his head back to glare at him. “Mine.”

“Little _gremlin_ ,” Remus pulled on it and Elías rolled towards him, laughing. “Give me.”

“Fine,” Elías relented, Remus slipping into bed with a deep, relieved sigh, moving on his side, facing Elías. “Hey, Moony?”

“Hmm?” the werewolf hummed, closing his eyes, one arm under the pillow.

“Thank you for yesterday,” Elías murmured and Remus cracked open one eye, watching him in the safety of under the sheets. “Like, _genuinely_ … thank you.”

“Anytime, Eli,” he murmured, hand moving to brush back some wild hairs from Elías’ face, the man closing his eyes as Remus touched him, melting into the pillows. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

* * *

There was animosity towards Slytherins that morning.

Elías entered the Great Hall and was _immediately_ assaulted by red and gold, blinking hard at the amount of people in three of the tables cheering for Gryffindor House. They all cheered as Remus walked in, who was wearing his old Gryffindor pin on his lapel and Elías felt like he was back in his teenage years again, looking over at the Slytherin table, which almost seemed like it was… further away from the rest of the students. Shoulders hunched, postures defensive, all of them looking in varying degrees of annoyed or just… sad.

“Oh, no, not in _my watch_ ,” Elías stated, pushing up his sleeves before moving to the familiar table at the far wall on the right, seeing a few students perk up at the sight of him. Elías walked directly to where the Quidditch Slytherin team was gathered, Draco looking pale and shaky at his goblet of pumpkin juice. “Alright, alright, what are those long faces for?” he called, slipping between Draco and Peregrine, the latter who turned to him with wide eyes.

“Professor Fernández, I don’t know if you noticed,” the beater swallowed. “But everyone is talking about Potter and his _Firebolt_.”

“We’re doomed,” Marcus Flint, the _captain_ of all people said, staring at his breakfast with a nauseous face. “We’re _doomed_. We can’t compete. Every knows we’re going to lose.”

“Wait, wait, _wait_ ,” Elías said, slamming a hand down on the table, making almost every Slytherin miserably turn to watch him. “Since when do we care about what everyone else thinks, huh?”

Marcus looked up, his brown eyes wide, “Er… well, they –”

“What?” Elías cocked an eyebrow at him. “They’ve a Firebolt, _oooh_ , big deal! What is this, pay-to-win? We’ve got the best chasers that Slytherin has ever seen! Marcus, did you or did you not almost fall off your broom to do _the_ best kick to third hoop that anyone has ever seen in the _history_ of Hogwarts Quidditch?”

“Yeah, you did!” Miles said with a grin, slapping his captain in the back.

“I… I did,” he nodded.

“And Miles jumped off his broom!” Draco pointed out, laughing. “Lucian had to catch you! That was so good, that was what made me want to be on the team!”

“Remember this past match, though? You caught the snitch the moment it was out!” Adrian wrapped his arm around Draco’s neck and pulled him closer, making the youngest of the team laugh, Elías grinning.

“You’re not what everyone thinks you are,” Elías told them all, the Quidditch team all huddled around the professor. “You’re so, so, _so much more_ than that. They want to take you for granted? _Good_. Turn that against them,” he smirked. “Make them think they’ve got this game in the bag.”

“Keep your head down,” Marcus nodded, eyes narrowed, looking around his team. “Look _defeated_. When we reach the pitch, we’ll take them by storm.”

“Speed is key,” Miles pointed out, finger tapping on the table. “If we grab the Quaffle, we don’t let them even _think_.”

“Multiple passes, _constant_ ,” Cassius rubbed his hands, looking at Marcus and Graham, the other two chasers. “Remember the cross strategy? The one we practiced in December.”

“Yeah,” Marcus nodded, eyes bright. “Yeah!”

“You got this,” Elías told them all, hand slapping Draco’s back, the boy nodding rapidly.

“Draco, it doesn’t matter that Potter’s faster – they can’t win until they reach certain points, so he can’t go for the snitch immediately.” Marcus said, Draco looking at him with intensity. “That’s your window of opportunity. Put pressure on him.”

“Yes, captain,” he nodded, looking less pale and more determined.

“Thank you, professor,” Miles smiled at him, looking much better as well.

“Make room, boys,” Elías placed his elbows on the table, grinning. “I’m eating breakfast with you lot today.”

“SLY-SLY-SLYTHERIN!” a First Year at the end of the table cried out and the table quickly slammed their hands, making a rhythm to scream along, Elías joining with a huge grin, hands cupping the sides of his mouth so it would echo through the Great Hall. “ _SLY-SLY-SLYTHERIN!_ ”

The animosity was palpable but Elías tried to shield them all with jokes and bright smiles and some teasing words towards the Seventh Years that were still trying to study through the mess that was today’s breakfast. Diane and Maxwell were both hunched over their notes, looking stressed and a little bit on the edge of tears but with some goading from their peers, they finally put their notes away and began to relax into the now spirited breakfast.

Elías stayed throughout the entirety of the meal, listening to them speak of strategies and displaying the way they knew each other’s play style perfectly. Draco wasn’t pushed away as someone young and inexperienced but as someone who was a key component of the team, someone who was just as important and Marcus kept his arm wrapped around his shoulders, guiding him through it. Elías could see the determination in Draco’s eyes, the ambition for the Quidditch Cup. It made his grey eyes shine in a way Elías had seen before.

When the mail arrived, Elías saw various owls fly over the staff table and it was then when he realized that Severus was sitting there, as if nothing had happened the day before, bags under his eyes and an irritated expression in his face as McGonagall spoke. Remus sat near him, with Elías’ empty seat between them both and Elías wondered why they would sit close when Elías wasn’t even there. Huh.

As breakfast began to fade and the tables began to empty, Elías stood, making the Slytherin Quidditch team pause their conversation.

“I’ll be in the stands today,” he told them all, grinning. “You guys got this, alright?”

“Thanks for stopping by, professor,” Miles said gratefully.

“It’s no trouble,” Elías smiled at him, slapping Marcus’ back, making him choke on his breakfast, the team bursting into laughter. “I’ll see you all later!”

Elías walked out of the Slytherin table, feeling slight nostalgia as he did – he hadn’t sat at that table in years and it felt so much better to do it as a proud Slytherin and not as an outsider to everyone else. He would’ve left the Great Hall if someone hadn’t called his name, making him turn around to see Severus walking over to him, some papers in his hand and Elías recognized his own handwriting, reaching for them when Severus lifted them out of his reach, making Elías pout.

“Hey! Gimme those!” he laughed a bit.

“We must discuss them. I believe I have some books of use,” he said and Elías immediately sobered up, eyebrows rising.

“Yes, _yes_ , please,” Elías nodded eagerly, the two about to leave when Remus caught up with them both, speaking in a hushed voice.

“I also saw those notes,” he murmured, making the two Slytherins turn to him. “And I believe I have some information that could help as well.”

“Oh, thank _fuck_ ,” Elías breathed with relief.

“My or your office?” Remus asked Severus, who gestured at him.

“Yours. I’ll go and get my books and we’ll meet in your classroom,” Severus stated, pulling away from the other two towards the dungeons and Elías felt his heartbeat pick up at the thought of finding out _something_ , _anything_ about Time Magic.

“You’ve something that could help?” Elías turned to Remus, eyes a bit wide and Remus nodded.

“I thought a name sounded familiar in your notes when I read over them yesterday,” he explained, Elías nodding, the two walking past Slytherin students and up the stairs. “And I kept thinking and thinking about it.”

“Which name?” Elías asked.

“Marina De Guînes,” Remus said in a choppy French accent, Elías nodding. “I believe I’ve a book written by her but… I got it _so_ long ago…”

“She was only briefly spoken of,” Elías told him. “I didn’t know who she was so I wrote it down but the author says that her disappearance cause their work to be pushed back, since she had quite a lot of notes that they’d made on the time turner.”

“Makes sense,” Remus sighed, frowning deeply. “Because she wrote that book much, _much_ later than that author’s time, Eli.”

“Of course she did,” Elías muttered, swallowing before turning to Remus. “How come you’ve a book from someone who worked with –” he looked around, not wanting children to hear them but the third floor was deserted, making Elías sigh with relief. “– Time Magic?”

“You’re going to laugh,” Remus said, amused. “But the book is very beautifully illustrated and it was fairly old already when Sirius found it for my birthday.”

“Oh!” Elías blinked, surprised. “So he just… gave you an old book because it was pretty and old?”

“As he does,” Remus chuckled, making Elías smile softly.

“And you loved it, didn’t you?” Elías murmured.

“I did,” he nodded with a bit of a faraway look. “The book doesn’t just delve into Time Magic, it’s – well, it’s a mishmash of different stories hidden by the British Government that she apparently got a hold of? James and Sirius got a kick out of it, they loved all the obscure history. So did I.”

“Hopefully it can tell us something, anything,” Elías sighed as they reached the fifth floor, secretly proud that even in their haste, Elías was no longer panting. He was starting to build some stamina, it seemed.

The two entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and Remus drew all the curtains back with a swipe of his wand, light flooding in, the two professors climbing the stairs to his office. Remus opened the door and Elías waited, leaning against the railing, watching him move to the shelves and glance around the multiple tomes.

“Marina, Marina, Marina…” Remus muttered to himself, finger running through the spines and Elías blinked as his vision went a little bit fuzzy, the light from the window behind Remus shifting into something softer, a bit brighter.

Elías frowned, rubbing his eyes, trying to get rid of what he thought was sleep still in his eyes but when he looked at Remus, he only became a bit… softer around the edges. Elías began to hear a familiar buzz in his ears and his throat went dry, head lighter, hands moving to grip the arch of the doorway.

“Re…mus…” he tried to say but as Remus turned to him, less scars on his face and hair much shorter, Elías’ eyes went white.

* * *

“ _Hey, hey, hey, lover… you don't have to be a staaaar…_ ”

“Open it, open it!” James laughed, throwing a pillow at Remus, the werewolf receiving it right in the face as Peter jumped into his bed, crudely wrapped present also in his hands. “Come on, Moony!”

“I _just_ woke up, Prongs!” he shook his head, grinning widely as Frank slipped out of his own bed and promptly fell to the floor, making Sirius laugh while he finished fiddling with the record player he’d gotten from that muggle store he loved.

“ _Hey, hey, hey, lover… I love you just the way you aaare_ …”

“Just open it!” Peter laughed, laying on his side on Remus’ bed and Remus ended up tearing into his present, eyes widening when he looked at the beautifully boxed eagle quill between his hands.

“Prongs…” he muttered, seeing the premium ink, the golden details at the tip, carefully carved. “This must’ve cost a fortune!”

“ _For love is just the same, without fortune and fame, just give meee_ –”

“Nah, don’t worry,” James’ bright brown eyes were dancing with joy and he wrapped an arm around Remus’ shoulders. “Now you won’t have so many inked spots in your notes!”

“You _tosser_ , this was for you all!” Remus laughed, trying to hit him but James dodged as Frank sat on the floor, resting his chin on the edge of Remus’ bed, sleepy but also joining the rest. In his hand there was a small present, as well.

“ _True love and understanding! True love and understanding!”_

“Maybe,” James joked, adjusting his glasses as Sirius dropped his weight on Peter’s lap, making the fifteen year old groan and huff, Sirius laughing loudly.

“Padfoot, you _fatarse!_ ” he kicked at Sirius.

“I’m a dainty little dandelion, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius huffed.

“ _Hey, hey, hey, lover… you don't have to be a kiiiing…”_

“Get _off_ , you fat dandelion!” Peter laughed, finally kicking Sirius off to the floor, waking up Dorcas from their spot, groaning loudly.

“Would you lot keep it down?!” they cried out. “It’s seven in the fucking morning!”

“Rise and shine, Dory!” Sirius stood, pulling on their foot until they were kicking at him as well. “It’s Remus’ birthday!”

“Oh shit,” they mumbled, lifting their head off the pillow, their mohawk a mess, “Hey, Lupin – happy birthday.”

“Thanks, Meadows,” Remus grinned at them, startled as Peter dropped his present onto his lap, grinning at him.

“Now mine!”

“ _Hey, hey, hey, lover… you don't have to have a thiiiing_ …”

Ripping the wrapping apart, Remus laughed as he found himself holding a little stuffed collection inside a box, knitted and presented in a perfect row. A stag, a rat, a dog, a wolf.

“Peter, did you _make_ these?” Remus breathed, pulling out the little rat, his eyes wide.

“ _Wormtail_ , Merlin!” James gasped, taking the stag with a grin. “You got so good!”

“Those look _so_ good!” Frank told Peter, who was looking with pride at them.

“I know we’re not allowed to be with you on moons where you’re out of Hogwarts,” he explained as Sirius walked over, sitting behind Remus, his chin moving over Remus’ shoulder and one hand gripping the knitted, stuffed wolf. “But uh, I guess you could have us with you, still, with these.”

“Fuck,” Remus muttered, hands moving to his eyes and Sirius took the dog and pressed it to Remus’ cheek.

“Aw, don’t cry,” Sirius grinned.

“ _For I'll be satisfied, long as you are my guuuy, just give me…_ ”

“Thank you, Wormtail,” Remus whispered, taking all the little guys and placing them in the box, his thumb brushing over the wolf, button eyes green. “I’ll cherish these.”

“You made Moony cry!” James laughed, slapping Peter’s back, who also looked ready to cry. “You both are _such_ crybabies.”

“Prongs, shut up,” Sirius punched his arm, making him whine. “Let them cry, it’s been a shit week, alright?”

“Next is mine, come on,” Frank grinned, putting the small gift closer to Remus, who gave Frank a soft smile and pulled it open, blinking at the little quartz orb he held.

“Is this –”

“A fucking _light_ ,” Frank threw a pillow at Remus, who gave a laugh as he stopped it with a hand. “So you’ll stop waking up all up with your bloody bright _lumos_ when you’re reading!”

“Thank you,” Remus laughed, shaking it to produce a dim, beautifully crisp light.

“ _True love and understanding, true love and understanding!_ ”

A knock on the door made everyone turn to it and Dorcas answered in their pajamas and fucked up mohawk, finding Lily on the other side.

“We’re going to give the presents downstairs, come on out!” she called, waving at Remus, who waved back happily, his smile bright, untarnished by scars, eyes sparkling with joy.

“ _For the rest of my days!”_

“Come on, everyone, head down!” James called, standing and pulling Peter out of the bed, Frank carefully taking all the wrappers so there wouldn’t be a mess. Sirius also stood and Remus began to put away all his gifts while everyone left.

“ _No, you don't have to worry_ …”

“Moony?”

Remus looked up from the soft light in his hands, finding Sirius pulling at the collar of his black Sex Pistols shirt, his other arm behind him. Slowly, Remus felt a grin pulling at his lips, setting Frank’s present on his nightstand and walking over in front of his friend. Remus stood at the same height as Sirius and Sirius gave a little laugh.

“So I uh, don’t have any of the fancy, useful or er… y’know,” he shrugged, waving a hand nervously. “ _Wistful_ , cutesy little gifts but I saw this over the winter in a shop and… well, I thought of you?”

“You thought of me, huh?” Remus crossed his arms, smirking. “If it’s any sort of werewolf joke, Padfoot, I _swear_ to Godric – ”

“No, no, no! It’s none of that!” Sirius promised.

“ _Life's a problem in my hands…_ ”

“What is it, then?” Remus asked, curiously trying to look behind Sirius and Sirius quickly lifted his hand, a papernews-wrapped squared present greeting Remus. “A book!”

“A book,” Sirius admitted, handing it to him.

“First time you ever got me a book,” Remus laughed, starting to pull the wrapping apart. “It’s kind of a classic but now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Moony, but uh…” Sirius ran a hand through his hair, which reached the base of his neck, showing a bruise on the side of it and a butterfly bandaid over a cut there. “I dunno, I saw it and… I had to get it to you, I guess.”

“ _Stories Untold_ by Marina de Guînes,” Remus read, looking at the beautiful, intricate cover. “This is _beautiful_ , Padfoot.”

“You should look inside,” Sirius smiled.

“ _But if you really, really love me, in my heart, you'd be a big man_ …”

Elías watched as Remus pulled open the book and gasped audibly, looking through the pages, grinning at the illustrations done by hand, the delicate work of it.

“Padfoot, this is _incredible_ ,” Remus grinned at his best friend, making Sirius beam right back, laughing. “You really went into a bookstore for me?”

“Oh, no, no, it was a second-hand store in Diagon Alley,” he replied, shrugging. “It wasn’t – I mean, I just… was reminded of you, is all.”

“Of course,” Remus smirked widely, shutting the book.

“ _Hey, lover, won't you treat me right? And be with me tonight. Just give me_ …”

“We should go downstairs,” Sirius cleared his throat, about to turn around when Remus reached for him and gave Sirius a tight hug, his arms around his neck, Sirius freezing for a moment, chest against chest, his grey eyes wide, on the carpet, face slowly glowing red.

“I love it, Sirius,” Remus whispered.

Sirius swallowed, something slowing down about him, his sharp edges turning into blunt peaks, arms loosely moving around Remus as well.

“I’m glad,” he muttered. “Happy birthday, Remus.”

“ _True love and understanding, true love and understanding…_ ”

* * *

“…just down, I – he usually warns!”

“Did he hit his head?”

“No, I – I made sure he didn’t, _shite_.”

“Move. I said _move_ , Lupin!”

“Stop shouting,” Elías rasped, hand moving to his pounding head, blinking to see Severus and Remus crowded around him, huffing. “It wasn’t even a bad sight – ow, ow, _ow_!”

“You hit your wrist on the way down, on the table,” Remus explained and Elías blinked at him, head drawing back a bit.

“Whoa,” Elías mumbled, watching the werewolf. “You looked _so much more_ different when you were fifteen.”

Remus blinked, watching Elías for a moment before looking back at the floor, where Elías could see a now familiar book.

“Did… you see my fifteenth birthday?” he whispered.

“I think so, yeah,” Elías sat up with Severus’ help, nearly topping over but the other Slytherin held on tight to him. “Thanks, Sev – how long was I out?”

“Just ten minutes or so,” Severus pursed his lips. “Did it come to you suddenly?”

“It came… weird,” Elías mumbled, frowning, rubbing his face. “I was confusing what I was seeing with what I was… Seeing? Remus was shifting between… younger and older, it was weird.”

“Indeed,” Severus frowned deeply.

“Frank gave you a light,” Elías told Remus, who looked like he’d been slapped in the face. “And… and Dorcas was there. With a neon green mohawk.”

“Fourth Year,” Severus and Remus chorused, nodding, Remus with a sigh.

“Then yeah, I saw that,” Elías was now able to sit up, headache easily subsiding, making him relax a bit into Remus’ and Severus’ hold. “It was uh, nice.”

“What was the use of seeing that memory?” Severus asked, almost to himself.

“There isn’t always a use, I’ve told you this,” Elías shrugged, rubbing his face. “It just _is_.”

“I suppose,” the potions professor stood, helping Elías up and Remus did the same, grasping the book. “Are you alright?”

“I will be,” Elías nodded, looking at his fingers and finding none of those soft edges, flexing them for a moment. “…yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“What’s in that book?” Severus asked, nodding at it and Remus opened it, searching for a certain page.

“Marina de Guînes,” Remus explained. “She tells various stories that were attempted to be hidden by the British Government.”

“And she’s mentioned in Elías’ notes,” Severus stated, reaching for the papers he’d left over one of Remus’ tables, immediately going for the right page. “When was this book published?”

“Doesn’t say,” Remus told Severus, looking through the front and back pages, frowning. “It was also found in a second-hand store so we can’t know for real where it came from.”

“But we’ve a name, right? We can pull on that thread,” Elías said, sitting down on one of the chairs, rubbing his temple. “At the _very_ least, right?”

“Are there any stories related to time magic in there?” Severus tapped the book Remus held, frowning at the werewolf. “Otherwise this is a waste of time, we already knew the author of _The Forbidden Art of Time_ is anachronistic.”

“The case of Eloise Mintumble,” Remus nodded, handing Severus the book, Elías watching the both of them. “Goes into detail how she was the only person recorded by the Ministry of Magic to have travelled back in time for a few hours. She was sent from 1899 to 1402 and she made such a massive change that when she came back, a lot of her descendants were unborn. Also, when she came back to the present, her body immediately aged five centuries. She died soon after in St. Mungo’s.”

“Christ,” Elías swallowed.

“Eloise Mintumble,” Severus pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes. “Mintumble isn’t a surname I’m aware of within the magical community, but if she was chosen by the Unspeakables, it must’ve been for a reason.”

“How does Marina know of this, though?” Elías spoke up, making the other two men turn to him. “And why is she mentioned in the book? They mentioned her as if she’d lived _there_. She took _their_ notes and they had to begin all over again with their research.”

“Did she perhaps travel forward?” Remus suggested.

“But _how_?” Elías pressed.

“We obviously can’t know,” Severus told them both, looking over _Untold Stories_ with quick eyes before sighing. “It won’t bring us any closer to finding out what _you_ are, either. We should stop focusing on time travel and focus more on _seers_.”

“I agree,” Remus nodded.

“I don’t,” Elías said bluntly, making Remus turn to him with surprise and Severus with a warning look.

“What?” Remus frowned.

“If I could travel back in time,” Elías began, making Remus recoil as if punched. “Then we could solve a _shit ton of problems_.”

“You’re not serious, are you?” Remus murmured and before Elías could stop himself, he said;

“I’m very obviously Elías, not Sirius,” he stated and Remus and Severus had never looked so similar as right then, when they wanted to both strangle Elías in unison. “Look, I’m _dead_ serious, alright? If I could go back –”

“Are you _mad_?!” Remus burst out, making Elías blink. “Didn’t you _just_ hear the part where Eloise came back _five centuries older_?! And she _died_?! Or the part where multiple of her descendants were unborn?!”

“Sucks to be her but I’m different,” Elías replied, rolling his eyes.

“We have _no idea_ about the effects of time travel,” Severus hissed at him, moving closer. “If you attempted it –”

“That’s why we’re looking for all of this, right?!” Elías stood, taking his notes from Severus’ hands. “Look! Marina met the author of the book and she was able to write this! She was obviously alive and she went _much further_ than just five centuries!”

“This could be a _lie_ ,” Severus snapped.

“So could the Eloise tale! Maybe government propaganda!” Elías burst.

“ _Untold Stories_ are, in my opinion, probably _not_ British government propaganda,” Remus said, incredulous, watching Elías. “Eli, what the _hell_ is wrong with you?! You cannot – time traveling is dangerous! It’s ridiculous! Where would you go, what would you do?!”

“Maybe we could find out who Voldemort was before being, you know, Voldemort!” Elías told them both. “And I could go to the time where he was a baby and just, bam! He’s dead!”

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, pacing as Remus dropped on one of the chairs of his office, shaking his head.

“How do you know you’d even land in the right time, in the right place?” Severus asked, glaring. “What would you need? How would you get back? Would you _die_ if you did come back? What if you got stuck in the past?”

“I don’t know what part of _killing the Dark Lord_ did you understand, but maybe my death isn’t as important as _his_ , you know,” Elías told him.

“No!” Remus said, slamming his hands down on the chair and standing. “You don’t know what you’d do! You don’t know what would change! You’ve _no idea_ of the consequences of your actions in the past and I don’t give a single _fuck_ if you think you can do it. Time traveling is banned for a _reason_ , Elías, and this is a clear reason!” he slapped the book onto his lap and Elías grabbed it, glaring.

“I don’t believe this,” he stated.

“But of _course_ you believe the other book, right?!” Remus pulled at his hair.

“Yes! I do, in fact!” Elías told him.

“Unbelievable,” Remus laughed, shaking his head, looking away from the Slytherin.

“I don’t even know how to do it! Yet!” Elías told the both of them, Severus looking annoyed while Remus seemed exasperated, Elías standing. “But if I did –”

“You’re a danger to yourself and everyone around you,” Severus told him, hand moving to Elías’ shoulder, pushing him back down on the chair, Elías’ eyes going wide at the treatment. “Number one; we’ve no idea if time travel is possible _at all_. Not just because none of these books have been proven at all but also because these people may have had access to the sands of time, which we do _not_. Number two; if you did have the means and you went back in time, stepping on a butterfly could cause a third _war_ in the wizarding world, countless other deaths, you have _no idea_ what you’re up against. Number three; you’re the most impulsive, most gut-driven person I’ve ever met in my life and I don’t think I am the first one to tell you that you can make _mistakes_ , Elías, and this one could cost us _a lot_.”

“If we found out more about these travels –” Elías tried.

“No,” Severus stated, taking the book and handing it to Remus, who shoved it back into his library. “We’re done with this subject. We need to look for seers, not for time magic.”

“What?” Elías breathed, chest growing tight. “You – you can’t –”

“I can and I _will_ ,” Severus snapped and Elías felt the back of his eyes burn with frustration, looking away from him, hands tight on the arms of the chair. “You’re obviously not thinking clearly, Elías. Time travel isn’t child’s play, it’s not a simple explosion in a cauldron. It has unfathomable results and you cannot control such a volatile magic.”

“I can do it,” Elías replied, standing, glaring at Severus as Remus looked at the both of them, worried. “I just need a chance –”

“I’m not going to allow you to drive yourself and everyone else into an early grave!” Severus barked at him.

“If I learn to control my Sights, I could try and See far enough away so that I could change almost nothing! Just one thing!” Elías told him desperately.

“You cannot control your visions, Elías!” Severus told him. “You faint every time!”

“Not every time! I used to but I don’t anymore! It’s just a matter of time!” Elías insisted.

“Time for what?! For studying Divination?! For studying thousands and thousands of books that could be wrong?! To study endlessly complex spells that not even Dumbledore is able to _do_?!” Severus shook his shoulders and Elías’ eyes widened, watery. “Elías, you couldn’t even finish muggle college and you were mediocre at best in Hogwarts, you are _not_ a good wizard _!_ ”

Silence took over, Elías’ eyes on Severus’ as the potions master realized what he’d said, eyes changing from anger to regret but Elías felt the truth stab at him, hands tight fists at his sides. Remus opened his mouth to the side but Elías didn’t want to hear it, stepping away from Severus and out of the office, the stairs feeling fake under his feet. He felt his pulse in his ears, roaring like a storm and his shattered pride fell from his chest to the floor, ringing like broken glass.

The hallways were empty, Elías’ shadow the only thing following him and he realized that at some point, he’d had to go and watch the Quidditch game. He wanted nothing less, hands tight on his own notes and he suddenly realized that he’d taken them, looking at his slanted handwriting, swallowing. That book… all the hope it’d given him… just gone. It had all been for nothing. Elías had been so focused on solving the mystery of time travel that he’d forgotten that it was to solve the mystery of _himself_ , his own abilities, his Sight.

They had a couple books on seers but… he didn’t want to face Severus or Remus, not after being embarrassed in such a degree in front of them both.

A potions master and the best Hogwarts professor to date – the two of them were men of caliber and Elías felt tiny next to them. Fought in a war bigger than any of this, a war that took so much away from them and Elías dared to think that he knew what he was speaking of just because he’d seen a couple Sights of screaming people and dying friends.

“Elías, dear?”

Elías looked up, scrubbing at his face, seeing of all people… Sybill Trelawney. In all her beaded, patterned glory. Elías tried to clear his eyes of tears but she had seen, surely, because she was approaching him with a kind look in her huge owl-like eyes behind her thick glasses.

“Oh, dearie,” she patted his arm. “You look troubled.”

“Quite so, Sybill, forgive me,” Elías said wetly, trying to give her a smile.

“I was just about to head to my tower and have some tea,” she said. “I know that there’s a Quidditch match going on but perhaps it’d do you well? To calm down beforehand?”

“That… that would actually be really nice,” Elías confessed, feeling for once like he and the Divination professor were on the same page, following her towards the Divination Tower. “I’m sorry, Sybill –”

“Oh, don’t be,” she quickly waved it off. “I was feeling a huge disturbance. Must’ve been your aura.”

“My aura’s been out of whack for a while,” Elías mumbled.

“Yes, yes, I quite noticed, especially yesterday,” she hummed. “Everyone’s been shaken up by that incident with Severus. Were you with him, just now?”

“…yes,” Elías replied, chewing on his lower lip. “He told me… something hurtful but true. I’m afraid I’ve been so focused on the details that I’ve forgotten the bigger picture.”

“Happens to the best of us,” she soothed.

“Could you perhaps read me the cards?” Elías asked and she smiled brightly, making Elías relax. “I’m in need for guidance and I’m more comfortable with them.”

“Yes, yes, I’d be delighted to!” she nodded, starting to climb up the stairs, Elías beside her. “I haven’t read you the cards since you were thirteen, I think?”

“Yeah,” Elías sighed. “Fourteen, actually.”

“It was quite a sad reading, I remember,” she told him.

“It uh, opened my eyes to a lot of things,” Elías mumbled, thinking of his fourteen year old self looking at the cards and realizing that he was a man, that he had to hide it, that he couldn’t face what that meant for himself and for everyone around him. How it led him to overperforming femininity for over a year until the incident in the Quidditch lockers.

“Hopefully, this one does as well,” she smiled kindly at him and they went in silence to the top of the tower, opening the trap door into a room filled with the scent of rosemary and thyme, making Elías inhale deeply.

He knew for a fact that a lot of what Sybill claimed was a lie. He knew it because Dumbledore had assured him that, despite the prophecy she’d given, nothing else had shown evidence that Sybill Trelawney could predict the future. A lot of seers felt inadequate when all they gave was a prophecy or two and Elías had caught onto that insecurity in her a long time ago.

But it didn’t mean that Sybill wasn’t a good woman and a good witch, especially when it came to Divination. Elías couldn’t care less that Sybill had only spoken once with white eyes and a voice belonging in the Underworld – she made really good tea and she had guided him in very specific moments of his life as a teenager. She’d taught him how to read cards, tea leaves, rune stones and Elías wouldn’t just take that for granted.

He sat down on one of the fluffy pillows she offered, looking around the tower with a bit of nostalgia while teacups gently floated to the table Elías sat in front of. The beautiful flowery teapot tipped down and served Elías some Earl Grey, making him relax immediately, Sybill moving in front of him as she shuffled her deck. It was a new one, he noticed, or at least new since he’d been a student of hers.

“Those are beautiful,” he remarked softly.

“Ah, I got them from my nephew, he’s quite an artist,” she smiled.

“I can tell,” Elías murmured, taking a long sip of that warm, delicious tea.

“Now, tell me, dearie, what ails you?” she asked. “What spread are you looking for?”

“I don’t know,” Elías confessed, hand over his chest, feeling the pressure of anxiety. “I… I suppose I’m confused about the state of things right now.”

“How about we first do a quick assessment of your current self?” she offered and Elías nodded, watching her shuffle a bit faster. “Mind, body and spirit.”

“Mind, body, spirit,” Elías murmured and Sybill blew a breath against the herbs burning on her stone bowl, the smoke serpentine as it flew up towards every window, shutting them all, curtains falling over the light, encasing them both in darkness until flickering, floating lights appeared around them, Sybill’s hand extended towards him.

The cards sat in her hand.

“Choose the state of your mind,” she said and Elías reached for the card that called to him, pulling it and gently setting it at the top of the table, finding the five of pentacles inverted, making him sigh. “Explain the meaning.”

“It’s… recovery and isolation,” Elías murmured. “The scarcity that is normally marked by this card is beginning to fade away. There’s… a sense that I’m just beginning to recover from what I feel like I was lacking. I’m seeing chances around me that I can use.”

“Very well,” Sybill nodded, shuffling the cards once more before she offered them. “Choose the state of your body.”

Elías reached forward, uncovering the page of wands on the left, “Exploration, excitement… freedom. I’m – I’m on the brink of a new creative project and vision. There’s this um, spirit of discovery and enthusiasm and I’m putting my whole body into it. I’ve all sorts of ideas that I might have about… the future.”

“And last,” the cards flew between Sybill’s fingers and before she could finish, Elías was pulling it with gentle wandless magic, staring at the card, shoulders down. “What is the state of your spirit, dear?”

“…page of swords,” he muttered, swallowing. “Hastiness. Rush. All… talk.”

“Your enthusiasm and energy has turned you into a bit of an annoyance,” Sybill told him, Elías looking up at her. “There’s a chance that you have _perhaps_ been so excited to create or do something that you have planned quite poorly, darling. It leads to setbacks. Alternatively, your promises have not lived up to expectations and there is a sense of disappointment setting in around you.”

“Oh,” Elías mumbled, hand gently setting the card down, looking at all of them.

“Are you alright?” Sybill asked, Elías feeling like an utter _child_.

“I’m meant to slow down, I think,” he told her, Sybill slowly nodding. “I think they’re right. I’ve been rushing a lot. I’ve been… rushing a lot of things.”

“It tends to happen with a new job, Elías,” she explained. “With a new change. I believe you lived as a muggle, before you came here? It was quite the talk of Hogwarts during September.”

“Yeah,” he whispered, hand rubbing his stubbly jaw. “I… I was.”

“Changing to the wizarding world must be a bit unsettling to your spirit,” she told him, urging him to drink tea, Elías complying because it was just so damn _good_. It calmed his stomach, too. “Would you like me to offer some advice with the cards, as well?”

“Please,” Elías nodded, rubbing his thighs over his pants, sighing. “I need guidance. I need – I need a bit of focus.”

“Alright,” Sybill nodded, a few more lights dancing around them as she took the cards back and began to move them between skilled, familiar fingers. Her many rings clinked together and Elías looked at her, finding the sound familiar, glancing down at his own ringed hands. He hadn’t felt close to his spiritualism in a long time. Perhaps Morpheus was fading from him. “Your weakness. Your strength. And the advice given.”

Elías nodded, waiting patiently, watching her as this time she spread the cards over the table in a long line, letting Elías feel them much better. He closed his eyes, breathing in, passing a hand from one side to the other, fingers finding purchase after a moment.

“What is your weakness?” Sybill asked and Elías looked.

“The knight of swords reversed,” Elías whispered, putting it down with a deep sigh. “No, uh… direction. Disregard for consequence.”

“Unpredictability,” Sybill finished. “Though you are exuberant and it is difficult to match the excitement you have, your desire to act and to achieve your ambitions have lead you to lose focus. Therefore, your energies are scattered without a coherent plan. You are not taking into account the consequences that your actions could lead to, meaning that danger could very much lie ahead.”

“Right,” Elías groaned. “Fuck.”

“Fuck indeed,” Sybill chuckled, watching Elías put down the card. “Next, dear. Your strength. Choose the card.”

Elías lifted a hand once more, hovering it over the cards, letting his magic and instinct lead him to the right one, gently taking a hold of it and turning it to look.

“What is your strength?” Sybill asked him.

“…Justice,” Elías murmured, watching the card. “Cause and effect. Clarity. Truth.”

“And honesty,” Sybill added, making Elías slowly now. “Justice is fairness, truth and the exercise of the law – though oftentimes it’s not a written, official one. This is the card of karmic retribution, Elías.”

“What you get is a direct result of your actions,” Elías murmured. “As a strength… what does this mean?”

“That you’ve a strong sense of justice,” Sybill replied. “That perhaps that sense is what leads to the best actions you’ve done. I heard that you’re adopting Harry Potter, are you?”

“Y-yes,” Elías nodded.

“The British and Spanish social workers came over to my office,” she said. “They asked me about you. I told them that you were the only one with guts in this castle.”

“ _Sybill_ ,” Elías breathed, moved by her words, his chest tight.

“Some could confuse you with a Gryffindor for it,” Sybill told him. “That sense, that strength, Elías – I feel like it’s what drives you to do good. And why you’re changing things in this school. I find classes to be much better after they’ve passed by you.”

“You know I appreciate and respect your class and craft, Sybill,” Elías told her softly.

“I know,” she sniffed, rubbing her nose, her huge eyes trained on him. “You’re the only one who does.”

“The rest are _fools_ ,” he stated, putting the card on the right of the other one, taking a deep breath. “What is my advice, Miss Trelawney?”

“Easy,” she smiled, pulling the card out herself, setting it at the top of the spread.

It was easily the most beautiful tarot card that Elías had ever seen – the uptight triangle, the wings, the flowing water, the two cups and the tranquil expression on the woman in the middle of the illustration.

“Temperance,” he muttered.

“The middle path. Patience,” Sybill nodded. “And finding meaning.”

“Taking the middle road, finding balance in life that allows me to attain a sense of calm,” Elías recited softly, smiling. “But as to the external world… it means adapting, cooperating, mediating.”

“You always were my best student,” Sybill told him, Elías giving her a kind smile.

“Thank you for the tea, Sybill,” he told her, reaching for her hands and squeezing them gently, Sybill smiling back at him. “And for the advice. You always know how to clear my head.”

“Of course, Elías, anytime,” she patted the back of his tattooed hand. “We’re colleagues, after all, aren’t we?”

Elías laughed, nodding, seeing light floor in once more as Sybill raised her wand and pulled the curtains open within the tower. He stood, brushing wrinkles off his shirt and adjusting his wand holster before he paused.

“Could I bother you for one last thing, Sybill?” he asked.

“Of course,” she nodded, walking over to him. He liked that she was shorter than him. It usually was the other way around.

“Your great-great grandmother was Cassandra Trelawney, right?” he asked and Sybill’s eyes lit up.

“Yes! Yes, she was!” she nodded proudly.

“I found a book written by her back in El Mercado de Arena, in Cartagena,” he explained. “But I was disappointed to find it was a translation in Spanish. You wouldn’t happen to have one in English, right?”

“I do, in fact!” she said happily, moving towards another room as Elías waited patiently, his hands in his pockets, looking out the window to see a sea of red and gold walking to the Quidditch Pitch.

Elías felt disappointment shake him for a moment, thinking of that sight as a Slytherin. He understood that other houses felt strongly about one or another but to have a single house against the rest of them… it felt wrong. It felt like it was Slytherin versus the world.

He had to go to that game.

“Here you go!” Sybill said, moving to Elías with a pristine first edition of Cassandra’s book, making Elías smile at her.

“Thank you so much – I’ll give it back as soon as I’m done,” he promised.

“Oh, no, no, you may keep it, I’ve other copies,” she told him and Elías finally pulled her into a hug, startling the woman. “Oh!”

“Sorry,” Elías pulled back, smiling sheepishly. “I just – you’ve been very kind. And I’m very Spanish.”

“Of course, yes, I had definitely _not_ forgotten about that,” she chuckled, patting his chest. “Go to your game. And follow the advice my cards gave you, dearie. I feel it could be useful.”

“I will,” he promised, giving her one last smile before opening the trap door, going down the stairs, feeling much lighter and with a clearer purpose than before, not seeing Sybill as she glanced into his tea leaves on the cup he’d left on her table, smiling at them, nodding to herself.

* * *

The roar of the crowd was the loudest Elías had ever heard and he gripped the railing tightly, looking at Draco as the kid saw everyone fall onto the stadium, lifting Harry as he raised the golden snitch with thunderous applause as a result. Elías began to rapidly walk down the stairs, having barely made it to the second half of the game, moving towards the side where the Slytherin team was descending onto the grass.

Marcus looked… he looked on the verge of tears, angrily stomping towards the lockers as Draco reached down to slowly pick up his broom, hands shaking.

“Hey – hey!” Elías tried to stop the captain of the team but he shook Elías’ hand off, marching away, Elías turning to see Miles and Lucien following after him, defeated looks on their faces. “Guys –”

“If you want to scold us, save it, professor,” Peregrine muttered, moving on.

“I’m – I’m sorry,” Draco murmured to his team mates, clutching the two brooms to his chest. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine, Draco,” Cassius shook his head, patting him on the shoulder. “We were never gonna win anyway. Just sucks that Marcus never got the cup.”

“Guys, even if you didn’t win the cup, that was _incredible_ ,” Elías pressed, trying to talk to Adrian, Draco and Cassius, the only ones of the team left but they simply started to walk to the lockers. “ _Guys_ , come on, it – it was –”

“The final cup,” Adrian murmured, Elías following after them. “The Quidditch Cup. Marcus has been training for years to get it. That’s why everyone’s so _damn_ happy,” he gestured at the sea of gold and red. “This was all he had and everyone hates Marcus because he doesn’t care about what they say of Slytherin. And he doesn’t take any sh – crap from others.”

Elías looked at Adrian, at Draco, at Cassius. The locker room was filled with an aura of defeat and Elías heard the slam of a locker and the frustrated scream of Marcus.

“There was a talent scout,” Graham whispered over to Cassius, Elias worriedly hearing Marcus cry out. “…he walked over to Oliver Wood.”

Elias moved towards the noise, finding Marcus hitting the locker door over and over and over again, his hand shooting out to grab him, pulling the boy back, his furious eyes moving to Elias and for a moment, Elias thought Marcus would try and hit him.

“That’s _enough_ ,” the professor said firmly but also kindly, watching his eyes water. “Marcus, you did the best today. And it will not have registered in everyone’s minds but I’m pretty sure that the rest of your team respects you and loves you as a captain.”

“What’s the use of it?!” his voice broke, frustrated, face a mask of pain. “I’ve done _nothing_ but work on this team! And no matter what I do, no matter how hard we try, how much we play clean and fair, it’s always them! It’s always someone else!” his arm shot out to the side. “They’ll always like them better! We’ll always be cast aside! If we’d won, they would’ve booed us! Nobody but Slytherins would’ve celebrated! NOBODY!”

“Well, it’s their damn fucking problem!” Elias snapped, making Marcus flinch, surprised. “They don’t like you?! It’s because they don’t know you! They don’t know any of you, they’re not bothering to even try and understand you! It’s not a you problem, Marcus, it’s a _them_ problem!”

“I thought for _once_ that if we won –” Marcus sobbed and Elias felt his heart break as the boy hung his head, his grip on his arm growing looser. “It doesn’t matter now. It just doesn’t matter, professor. Even if we’d won, nobody… nobody would’ve cheered.”

Marcus’ head fell on Elias’ shoulder and Elias hugged the boy, hearing a sniffle somewhere to the side, seeing Draco biting into his glove to avoid crying. Adrian had his face in his hands and Elias tasted the heartbreak in the room because they were _right._

If Slytherin won, nobody would’ve cheered.

“You lot,” Elias began slowly, pulling Marcus back, grasping his shoulders so he would look at Elias – blue meeting blue. “Are the smartest, most brave, most _hardworking_ players I’ve ever seen. I’ve been to every game of yours, I’ve been here watching you coordinate, roam, pass and hit each bludger of this year.”

Miles ran a hand under his nose, sitting next to Adrian, Draco having to sit down as well while Elias looked over them all.

“Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff may not be with you, but you know what?” Elias said, hand shaking Marcus’ shoulder gently. “ _You_ are. You’ve got spirit, soul, _passion_. You’ve achieved the better _you_ this year in the Quidditch Pitch. You’ve all worked together, gotten to know each other. A cup doesn’t compare to the amount of back-breaking work you’ve put into each other, into your form and game.”

Elias pulled Marcus closer to the rest, rubbing his back.

“This was your last year,” he told the captain, who watched all his players with barely-restrained tears. “But your teachings, your guidance and your friendship will love on in all of them, who will continue the next year and the next year and the next and the next, taking a little piece of you to each next player that joins the team.”

“All… all I wanted was to win the cup for you lot,” Marcus said, scrubbing the tears on his face, Adrian standing in front of his friend. “I just wanted to give you one victory, _one_.”

“We wanted the victory for _you_ , Marc,” Adrian muttered, the rest of the team standing. “Not to show those dumb Gryffindors or to get scouted. We did it for _you_ , mate. It meant the world for you and we knew it.”

“We could’ve worked harder,” Draco whispered, a few heads turning to him. “I should’ve practiced more –”

“You did your best, Draco,” Marcus put a hand on his shoulder, assuring him. “You don’t need to show anyone. _We_ know you’re the best damn seeker at Hogwarts.”

“I’m not,” he replied, taking a deep breath. “But you’re the best damn captain at Hogwarts. You’re the best Quidditch player I’ve ever met. You’ve taught me so much and I – I’ll win the cup for you. One day. I _promise_ you I will, Marcus.”

“I know you will,” Marcus rasped before pulling the youngest of his team into a hug, prompting everyone to immediately crowd around, a pile of Slytherins hugging, Elias feeling his heart slow down at the sight of supper for each other.

“ _SLY-SLY-SLYTHERIN!_ ” someone cried out, making a few laugh, still teary-eyed, more cries following it. “ _SLY-SLY-SLYTHERIN! SLY-SLY-SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN!_ ”

“I think you’ve all earned a shower,” Elias said as they all pulled away, his hand moving to pat Marcus’ shoulder, the teenager nodding at him. “Good job, everybody.”

“Thanks, sir,” Marcus murmured, giving him a small smile.

“I’m very proud of all of you,” Elias told the team, watching them all look at him. “And not because I’m a Slytherin but because I’m a _professor_. I was once on this team. I was once a beater, I was part of it. And we were nowhere close to what you guys just did in that field. Take a shower, ignore some Gryffindors and have a wonderful day, the lot of you.”

He walked out of the locker rooms with a deep sigh, rubbing his face, still hearing the loud cheers of the rest of Hogwarts. Elias wished he could feel happy for Oliver, for Harry, for every single one of them but the faces of the Slytherin team, the sea of red and gold, the attitude just a few hours ago in the Great Hall… it all blurred into a frustrated disappointment that he couldn’t shake.

Elias would’ve peacefully left the pitch if, at the top of the stairs, he hadn’t seen Severus Snape standing, looking down at him, his eyes full of conflicted emotions that he tried to guard. The younger wizard stared back, thinking of their fight earlier and he found that no longer did he feel that crushed ego at his feet, more like… sadness. And shame. He quickly lowered his gaze and kept walking, not wanting to say anything, moving past him.

“Elias –”

“I think you were right,” Elias interrupted him, hearing Severus’ jaw click shut. “I think I’m impulsive and act too quick and don’t think about consequences long enough. But I’ll let you know, Severus,” he took a deep breath, pressure in his chest. “That it doesn’t make me a bad wizard. Not finishing college was the choice I made – and I did it for my mental health, for _me_. Because I chose to take care of myself. I confided that to you in the hopes that you’d understand that you’re not the only one who was way in over his head when he was younger.”

“What I said was uncalled for,” Severus told him, voice rought and Elias had his back to him because he knew that if he looked back, Severus would see just how much that comment had hurt him, how _deeply_ it’d been imbedded in him. “You’re not a bad wizard and you’re a good musician –”

“No, I’m _not_ ,” Elias told him, fists clenched, frustration lacing his words. “Don’t you fucking get it? I’m not a good musician, I was good at faking it because I loved the attention, the praise, the glory, the _fame_. Art has been the only thing I’ve ever done because it was the only thing I was _minimally_ good at and _trust me_ , I’ve tried them all – dancing, fighting, painting, singing, playing, name one artistic talent and I will tell you what I _lack_. I _know_ that. But you don’t get to tell me that that’s why I failed at school, because it’s _not_ why.”

Elias finally turned, hand shoving at Severus’ chest, the professor’s back hitting the railing. “I didn’t fail school cause I was a bad musician. I failed school because of addiction, depression and anxiety. And every day, I’m pulling through despite my failures. Every day, I’m walking forward despite these fucking Sights wanting to pull me back. Every day, I go on despite everyone criticizing me, my clothes, my gender, my sexuality, the way I speak, the friends I make, the length of my hair, the emotions I feel, the people I love and the decisions I _make_. You want to know why I’m so impatient? You want to know why I learned to be so hasty?”

He felt his hand shaking but he kept going, voice breaking, watching Severus’ eyes, “Because _these_ kids deserve it. Because none of them deserve what happened to me, what you all professors let happen to me. If they’re screaming, I will listen, I will _answer_. I will run to hell and back for _any_ of those kids!” he shouted, pointing at the locker room, jaw tight and eyes furious. “Because people like _you_ don’t give a shit about Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws! And people like _them_ –” he pointed at the faraway crowd headed to the castle. “—don’t give a shit about Slytherins! And it’s taught them that even if they win, even if they make it, even if they’re the best version of themselves, they will _NEVER_ win! I’m hasty where you all are _slow_ to recognize a problem and try and fucking _fix it_. Like the Wilkes problem! Or Lovegood being bullied as well! You’re so fucking biased, you’re so fucking _in your head_ about the Houses and the sides, the black and white picture, I’m _SICK OF IT_!” Elias snarled, shoving at his chest again. “I’m sick of _all of you_ wizards and witches that have watched a war happen and still wonder _how_ when the answer is right in front of you! It’s in the field! It’s in the fucking _bleachers_ of this Quidditch Pitch!” he almost pulled at his hair in frustration.

“I may be a mediocre wizard,” Elias told Severus with a hiss. “I may have not finished fucking muggle college but I swear to Morpheus and every single God watching that I _will_ get these kids out of that stupid fucking _mindset_ that you all have cultivated in this castle, _all of you_. Because what I _really_ am is a damn good fucking _teacher_.”

He turned on his heel, steps sure and firm, leaving the Quidditch Pitch behind. He was impulsive? Fine. He’d rectify that. He’d change it.

Elias would make a plan to change it all.


	66. Keep Things Loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly had to split this chapter into two because oof, it was getting SO LONG and I still wanted to do dinner and more and nnnnngh, I don't know if I should include it because by now it's just clear that they're both BASICALLY on a date, right? Right?
> 
> Song in this Chapter:  
> \- Six Feet Under the Stars by All Time Low (Elias modified the lyrics, since THAT Thames Street is actually in Baltimore!)  
> \- Dancing in the Moonlight by King Harvest
> 
> Trigger Warnings in this Chapter:  
> \- Discussion of death  
> \- Discussion of inadequacy  
> \- Discussion of depression/anxiety  
> \- Discussion of spiritualism/regilion  
> \- Mild mention of suicidal thoughts

Remus was dressed for the afternoon and he knocked on Elías’ door with his lower lip between his teeth, wondering if he was better now that a few hours had passed since his fight with Severus. As he waited for the Astronomy Professor to answer, he began to think that maybe he wasn’t in the mood for an art gallery… or in a mood for Remus. He’d looked pretty determined about all the time travel bullshit –

Merlin, but it’d been _bonkers_. Had Elías been thinking about time travel all this time? Had he thought that going back in time would solve all of their problems? As if… as if it would just be _alright_ if Elías came back and aged immediately all those years. Or perhaps Elías wouldn’t even be born because of a simple mistake.

It made Remus freeze for a moment, something tight in his throat. If he could take it all back – James, Lily, Dorcas, Frank, Alice… all of his friends, all of his loved ones… if he could take back the years that were stolen from him, the nights lost to sadness and despair, the days filled with hunger and uncertainty… would he take them in exchange of Elías? He would probably be with Sirius. He would be able to look at his father in the eye. Maybe he wouldn’t be as much of a coward as he was.

And Elías wouldn’t be there. There’d be no more music, no more dancing in the kitchen with too-good recipes for his shitty, simple palate. There wouldn’t be the sound of ukulele strings and the scribble of Elías’ pen. Remus wouldn’t know the sound of crashing waves on the shore or the warmth of the southern Spanish sun on his face. He wouldn’t hear that seagull-like laughter of his or the way his voice went higher-pitched, softer and gentler when he sang.

The door opened, Remus breathing out as Elías appeared behind it, his hair loose and brown slacks over a crisp white shirt, opened at the top, showing the intricate cephalopod tentacles tattooed on his skin. Elías looked up at him, his freckles like constellations, scars like shooting stars and Remus knew that he would take every miserable night and hungry day if he could keep looking at him.

“I’m ready,” Elías told him quietly, looking quite sad.

“You look good,” Remus said, just as softly. “I… don’t often see you in browns.”

“You always look so academic and put-together,” Elías mustered a smile, touching Remus’ blazer, the patches on the elbows. “In that professor-y, 1940s sort of way, y’know? I wanted to match you, for once.”

“You don’t need to,” Remus chuckled, surprised at his comment.

“Well, we’re going to an art exhibit,” Elías took a deep breath, letting it out in a tired sigh, watching him. “I thought I’d look the part.”

 _You always look like art to me, no matter what you wear_ , Remus wanted to say but he kept it in, swallowing, moving into the room as Elías stepped aside. He wanted to say something, anything about what happened in the morning but he hadn’t seen Severus nor Elías at lunch and Slytherin had lost – and it’d showed in the faces of all those kids. Remus had almost felt bad about Gryffindor winning.

“We’re going to London through your father’s, right?” Elías asked, moving to get his wallet from his bedroom, Remus watching with his hands in his pockets.

“Yes, he’s got the floo ready,” he hummed, looking at Elías’ profile. He had his hair loose, unlike the usual braid he wore – Remus could see his face much better when he wore braids but now he let himself watch for a moment the way he tried to obscure his face, Elías fiddling with his earrings. “I’m sorry Slytherin lost,” he finally said and Elías paused, hand on his ear. “I know… I know you wanted them to win.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Elías murmured, sighing deeply. “I went to see those kids after the game. They all looked ready to cry. There was no one there – no other professor, no one to give them any words of encouragement.”

Remus felt his stomach roll uncomfortably, jaw growing tight. He’d been one of the professors too busy celebrating to think about the team that had lost.

“I think I cheered them up a bit. Or, well, I’d _like_ to think so,” Elías snorted a bit, shaking his head before he sighed again. “I feel bad for them. I know what it’s like, to feel like the world is against you.”

“I’m sorry, Elías,” Remus muttered and he saw the man take a deep breath, looking at the ceiling of his bedroom before finishing with his earring, walking back to Remus, nodding as he grabbed a cardigan from the side. Remus didn’t know the man owned _cardigans_.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, running a hang through the top of his hair, looking at Remus with a deep sigh. Remus watched him back, feeling himself frown and Elías said. “I don’t want to go down the rabbit hole of using each other as therapists.”

“Therapists?” Remus asked, absolutely _confused_. “Elías, talking to each other about how we feel isn’t using each other for therapy.”

“Yeah, but – where’s the line?” he looked frustrated, glaring down at his hands and Remus wondered what was going on in his head after what happened that morning. “Where’s the line between venting to a friend and just… starting to unload everything onto them? Where do you draw the line between too much and too little?”

“Eli,” Remus reached over, pinching Elías’ middle finger between his and lowering Elías’ hand, his blue eyes rising to the Gryffindor’s. “Elías, just tell me. If I can’t take you venting one day, I’ll let you know, alright? The limit is where communication begins. If I can’t take it, I’ll _tell_ you. I don’t know if… if what’s what you’re looking for but – it’s there.”

Elías gave a loud exhale, watching Remus for a moment, his hand limp and held only by Remus’ weak grip. Remus waited, infinitely patient, wanting to be that confidant for Elías but also acknowledging that he couldn’t just be an ear. Elías needed advice, that much was clear, he was _gasping_ for it and he hadn’t even began to speak.

“I’m listening,” Remus added, hoping to push him a bit and Elías swallowed.

“Severus was right,” he began and out of all the things Remus expected to hear, that one wasn’t it. He felt a spike of pity and annoyance, giving out a deep sigh, his hand moving to Elías’ elbow.

“Eli –”

“Not the part about – college,” he began, hands running through his hair frantically, eyes shutting tight for a moment before they opened, finding Remus’. “The part about me rushing through everything and – and never thinking about what the plan is. But that’s because I’m so _bad_ at planning, Remus, I can’t _do it_. I work with impulse and quick-thinking so much better than I do with a laid-out plan and I know it’s bad and I know it’s _messy_ and I – I don’t know how to _change_ it, how to change _myself_.”

“Hey, _hey_ ,” Remus put his other hand on Elías’ chin, lifting it to him, frowning deeply. “Whomever said anything about changing yourself? This isn’t _you_ , Elías, it’s an _aspect_ of you.”

“But isn’t that what I’m made of?” Elías asked, blinking hard and Remus pursed his lips as he saw the shine in them. “Remus, who the _fuck_ dared to give powers to an anxious, immature, impulse _bitch_ like me?”

“Alright, alright,” Remus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Calm down, slower, yes? Do not insult yourself because it won’t help anyone, much less yourself.”

“Fine,” Elías took a deep breath, gripping Remus’ arm, swallowing twice. “Tell me, then. Tell me – just be straight with me, Remus, and I’m not telling you to insult me, I’m telling you to _call me out_. I need – I need to set my head straight, I need to know what I’m doing _wrong_.”

“That really hurt you, didn’t it?” Remus muttered, realizing the impact now. “What he told you.”

“It hurt like _hell_ ,” Elías laughed wetly and Remus lifted his fingers to his cheek with a sigh, brushing his tears away. “I yelled at him at the Quidditch Pitch.”

“I yelled at him, too,” Remus confessed and Elías gaped at him, staring. “We uh, had a nasty fight back in my office. I told him that what he said about college was uncalled for and that he isn’t the one who decides what makes someone a good or bad wizard.”

“I’m pretty mediocre, though,” Elías chuckled, trying to make a joke out of it but Remus wouldn’t stand for it.

“That’s what _you_ think,” he replied and Elías locked his jaw and looked away, very obviously not believing it at all but Remus insisted, deciding to indeed, call him out. “Elías, for someone who claims to have all these bad habits behind him, you still have quite a lot of them.”

“I never said I didn’t have them,” he replied, shrugging hard, still looking away, deflecting.

“You pretend not to,” Remus told him and Elías opened his mouth but Remus was there to meet his attitude. “You’re lying to yourself about them. You have habits that seem heroic and good on the surface and that’s exactly how you live with them – thinking that they _are_ , in fact, heroic and good when really, they’re self-destructive.”

“Pot, meet kettle,” Elías gestured at him, glaring at Remus.

“Oh, I know they’re self-destructive,” the werewolf replied, shaking his head, unbothered by his attitude. He’d been Sirius Black’s best friend for too long for it to bother him. “But you lie to yourself. What was all that about, before, in my office? About dying to kill the bigger beast? Is that how you cope?”

“Remus –”

“Is that it? You won’t kill yourself but you’ll grab any chance at dying for everyone else,” Remus saw immediately the way his words hit Elías, the man turning around and starting to walk to the door but Remus rushed in front of the door.

“Get out of my way,” Elías sobbed, hands tight on his arms.

“The truth hurts but you asked for it,” Remus breathed, hating that he’d had explicit consent to say everything in his mind. Hating that Elías was hurting. Hating that he had to say this in order for Elías to _see it_. “Elías, you can’t solve everything with self-sacrifice. You don’t redeem the things you’ve done wrong with _hurting yourself_.”

“That’s not –” the Slytherin held himself, curling in a bit, choking out. “That’s not what I’m doing, I’m not hurting myself!”

“You aren’t?” Remus replied, hand moving to the lock when Elías tried to open the door, closing it. This was for him. “Then why the time travel bullshit?”

“It’s not bullshit! It’s legitimate!” Elías snapped, hand over his mouth, trying to speak coherently. “Do you really not see it?! What’s one life versus thousands?!”

“Elías, they’re _gone_ ,” Remus whispered. “They’re gone. And no amount of magic will make people ungrieve, unhurt, unmourn. Death is a part of life, death is part of _war_ and you can’t change the course of time because Time Magic is feeble and unpredictable at _best_.”

“Then _why_ do I _have_ this thing?!” he shouted and Remus sighed, rubbing his face, starting to understand that Elías simply didn’t believe in chaos and chance. He believed in something bigger, in fate and meaning and choices.

Remus had known, for a while, looking into Elías’ spirituality, such as Morpheus, the Greek God of Dreams and Shapes, a realm speaking of guidance and clairvoyance. Elías was a being that belonged into the magical realm of society but he was a wizard plagued by muggle concepts that Remus didn’t fully understand, such as the Christian guilt he displayed or the appeal to a House that had constantly shunned him and wanted to dispose of him.

Elías did a lot of things that didn’t make sense. But so did Remus and Sirius and Severus. Watching him now, watching Elías cry for someone to drop answers onto him, some higher being, Remus began to understand a little bit more of him.

“It just is, Eli,” Remus told him, slowly coming to cup Elías’ face, looking down at him, feeling pity and sympathy stir him deeply. What was it like, he wondered, to feel like God had abandoned you? He’d never believed in God, even if he stirred sometimes closer to the concept, though not the muggle one. Elías here looked lost and frustrated by the notion that someone had done this to him without an instruction manual. “It just _is_.”

“How do you know?” Elías whimpered, clutching Remus’ shirt tightly, surely wrinkling it but he didn’t care. “How do you _know_?”

“I don’t,” Remus replied softly, making Elías close his eyes, deflating. “But I don’t need to know, Elías. Some – some questions in life just don’t have answers. Why do you have your powers? Why did Greyback decide to become the thing everyone feared werewolves would be? Why did Peter feel like he couldn’t trust in us, confide in us to let us know he felt like an outsider, enough to betray us?”

“Some of those have answers,” Elías rasped.

“But not the ones I want. Or need. Or can even understand,” Remus told him, hands moving from Elías’ face to his shoulders, holding tight onto them. “Maybe one day you’ll find the answers you need, Elías, but they won’t be the answers you want, the answers you expect.”

Elías looked frustrated – and it was _fair_. Remus couldn’t possibly imagine what it was like to be plagued with visions of the future, the past, of the horrible things that can happen and have happened but also the wonderful things that were held in the past, now shattered by death and war and sickness.

“I just wish I could change it,” Elías whispered, his eyelashes clumping, cheeks and eyes red, ringed knuckles brushing against Remus’ stomach as the werewolf breathed out slowly. “I see those… those moments with everyone else and I _feel_ them, Remus. I feel the happiness and the despair of every single Sight. I see James and Lily and I wish I could tell them how _good_ their son is, how their worries are unfounded because he’s going to grow into a _good man_.”

“They’re gone, Eli,” Remus told him, throat clogging a bit as Elías looked up. “You know, my father… he tells me that pictures are like – like looking into memories through a window, yes?” he tried to explain, looking at Elías in the eye. “We relive those moments through them and the emotions we felt… they’re always overshadowed by nostalgia. And nostalgia is – it’s fake! It’s all fake; it’s an idealization of what we once felt. We see the pictures through rose-colored glass only, never through the reality of what it was. You’re constantly looking at these pictures, so I… I get that you feel closer to them, like their loss is something recent.”

“It really does,” Elías sniffled, one hand moving to rub at his nose. “You know, I thought having these abilities meant that I had to change things.”

“You _can_ change things, Elías,” Remus told him, making the Slytherin look up, eyes wide as Remus laughed. “Merlin, you’ve already been changing them so much. Look at Severus, look at _me_ ,” he whispered, passion lacing his words. “Look at the students and how they leave your classroom. You’re so focused on what you can do in the past or in the future that you’re forgetting the present.”

“That’s what my therapist says,” Elías mumbled before the two gave a laugh – yes, somewhat sore and sad but… still a laugh. “Severus is right that I’m hasty.”

“I agree that you’re impulsive but I don’t agree about being a mediocre or bad wizard,” Remus told him, thumb tapping Elías’ cheek. “You told me to be honest with you and call you out, you want to know my conclusion?”

“Might as well finish,” Elías mumbled.

“Be kinder to yourself,” Remus advised, already seeing the way Elías would absolutely not follow that by the way Elías winced. “Listen – _listen_. Elías.”

“I’m listening,” he sighed, nodding, looking up into Remus’ greens.

“Be kinder to yourself,” he repeated. “Don’t try and climb a pedestal that you’ve imposed because the shoes that your sister – _listen_ – the _shoes_ that your sister fills are not your size, your style or the color that you even _want_. You’ve built all these expectations about who you should be, what you should do and who you should be when nobody but _yourself_ has demanded that.”

“But –”

“You _feel_ ,” Remus continued, shaking his head, stepping closer until their noses touched. “Like you’ve to commit fully to being a man, you’ve told me so. You also feel like you’ve to be the best professor that you can be because you feel like you’ve failed at everything else, so _this_ must be the thing that you’re immaculately good at without any further development. You feel like the Severus’ journey of betterment is your responsibility and not just because you fancy the man but because you can do something, so you _will_. You feel like you’ve to help me and Sirius and the ex Deatheaters and the Slytherin Quidditch team and the cat on a fucking tree because you feel like if you _can_ do it, then it’s your _responsibility_ to do it.”

“Isn’t it?” Elías choked. “Isn’t it, though?”

“No,” Remus sighed, his arms moving around Elías, pulling him close, feeling the way he shook. “Fucking hell, Elías, _no_ , it isn’t. Your only responsibilities are to be a good professor and a good guardian to Harry. That’s all.”

“I don’t want to be selfish,” Elías sobbed, his fingers tightly gripping the back of Remus’ shirt. “I don’t want to be a bad man, Remus, I don’t want to watch the train pass by.”

“Being selfish isn’t inherently bad, Eli,” Remus pulled back, fingers raking through Elías’ hair, finding it soft and a bit cold, like running his hands through water. “Being selfish, in fact, can be very good sometimes.”

“When do you know when it’s bad or good? How can you tell?” Elías sniffled.

“With experience,” Remus sighed. “I’m still struggling with it.”

“How do I… be selfish?” Elías asked, struggling with the phrasing and Remus realized how thick his accent had become, a spike of warmth running through him. He liked the accent. And a lot. “How am I – uh, how – wait, maybe how isn’t the right – _cómo sé cómo…_ Fuck.”

“Well,” Remus laughed a bit. “You can take a day to yourself. Stop trying to be on top of absolutely everyone so you can hold out a hand. Sometimes, people need to pick themselves up. Including me, by the way,” he told Elías, who frowned. “You’re absolutely entitled to send me to hell from time to time. I know I can be…”

“Pretentious? Overbearing? Hypocritical like just now, as you’re telling me this?” Elías cocked an eyebrow and Remus grumbled.

“You didn’t have to stab me _that_ hard,” he joked, making Elías laugh a bit. “But what I mean is – you’re so worried for everyone. Worry a little about yourself. Do something that calms you down.”

“Like going to an art exhibit of one of my favorite painters?” Elías asked, giving a lopsided smile that made Remus’ heart skip a bit.

“Like going to an art exhibit with a werewolf _and_ getting outrageously drunk, if you want,” Remus offered, seeing the shine in Elías’ eyes.

“Oh, we should _absolutely_ do that,” he rubbed at his eyes. “I… I went to get a card reading from Sybill.”

“A… I’m sorry?” Remus blinked, confused.

“Tarot reading?” Elías offered and Remus immediately tried to keep the same face he’d been showing to Elías as he nodded, trying not to show just how much he didn’t believe in any of that and thought that Trelawney was a farce. “It was good. I… the cards advised me well on making plans, taking the middle path, trying to… slow down, you know?”

“I agree that that’s what you should do,” Remus told him, rubbing Elías’ arms and nodding. “And making plans… well, planning ahead is good.”

“Yeah but… again, I’m not too good at it,” Elías sighed.

“Luckily,” Remus said, giving him a smile, watching as it slowly caught onto Elías as well, the Spaniard smiling back despite the emotional exhaustion. “I am.”

* * *

“Oh, sorry, sorry! You caught me in such a state!”

“Oh, _Lyall_ ,” Elías laughed, rushing to help the man, holding onto the small ladder he was using to replace the lightbulb in his apartment, Remus helping him come down. “It’s alright! It’s okay! We’re the ones invading your home!”

“Nonsense! My home is yours,” Lyall told them both, patting Remus’ face before looking over them both. “Well, well! You two cleaned up! It’s strange to see you dressing without… crazy patterns, Elías!”

“That’s what I said,” Remus snickered and Elías elbowed his side, laughing.

“I’ll let you both know that I can immerse myself fully in academia aesthetics, thank you very much, _Lupins_ ,” he huffed playfully, raising his chin.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Lyall chuckled, watching his son move to the ladder, changing the bulb himself. “Thank you, son. My back isn’t what it used to be.”

“Why not use magic?” Elías asked.

“Habit,” Lyall replied, arm moving over Elías’ shoulders. “Some things… Hope just did them so I started doing them too. Like cleaning or changing light bulbs or washing the dishes.”

“There’s something relaxing about them,” Elías smiled softly, nodding as Remus finished and moved back to the floor, putting the ladder aside. “Thank you so much for letting us get to the exhibit through you, Lyall. I promise I’ll bring you –”

“Nonsense, nonsense, it’s always good to see you two,” he said, smiling at his son and Remus gave a small smile before hugging his father, Elías stepping aside with a grin of his own. It was good to see them together, hugging and being… just father and son. Elías was still endlessly happy about it. “You can grab the spare keys from the key bucket.”

Elías blinked as Remus laughed, “Uh, bucket?”

“I can’t _believe_ you still have the _bucket_ ,” Remus said, moving towards the entrance of the apartment, Elías following after him with a curious look until he saw a tiny little bucket made with popsickles sitting on a small cornertable at the entrance, a couple of keys inside, reading _KEYS_ in crude, colorful letters that were fading. “I made this thing when I was _four_.”

“You _made_ this?” Elías laughed, taking the bucket with a fond smile. “Tiny little Remus making crafts for the whole family to pester him thirty years later, huh?”

“Be careful, Eli,” Remus smirked at him, taking the tiny bucket and putting it back in place. “I’m in good terms with your cousins. They might reveal your most embarrassing secrets from childhood.”

“My entire childhood is an embarrassment, Lupin, fucking _try me_ ,” he dared, making Remus throw his head back and laugh. Elías turned to Lyall, who was watching from the doorway of the kitchen, about to say goodbye to him when the Slytherin caught him rubbing his eye for a moment, making him worry. “You alright, Lyall?”

“Ah, yes, I’m just – very tired,” he waved it off as Remus walked over to his father.

“You sure?” he asked softly. “When we come back we’ll be quiet.”

“Thank you, son,” he patted Remus’ arm, smiling gently. “I’ll be off to bed. Tomorrow I’ve the day off and I’ll spend it happily reading away and relaxing. So don’t worry about me.”

“Good,” Remus gave the top of his head and kiss and Elías waved at Lyall. “Goodnight, dad.”

“ _Buenanotte!_ ” Elías bid, the two professors walking out of the apartment and making sure the lock was on, climbing down the narrow stairs. Apparently, Lyall lived in a second floor and it took no time for them both to arrive to the streets of London, the sun starting to lower in the sky and cars honking away, making Elías sigh loud and long. “Welp. That’s the city.”

“I’ve noticed you don’t like it much,” Remus pointed out, smiling at Elías as the two began to move towards the Talacre Gardens. They were in Kentish Town, which was _quite_ a walk to the National Gallery but he and Remus had agreed that they’d take the tube from Kentish Town West to Charing Cross Station.

“I hate the city,” Elías grumbled, pulling closer around him the scarf he’d brought, hiding the lower half of his face. “It’s noisy. Smells back. There’s too many people. I can’t fucking _sleep_.”

“Have you ever lived in a city? I know you lived in Madrid,” Remus said, hands burrowing into his pockets, his own fluffy scarf around him, though a bit looser than Elías’. It was the one he’d been gifted for Christmas.

“Oh, I wasn’t – no, no not the _city_ ,” Elías laughed. “I lived uh, in a nearby town. Kind of like this, you know? All suburban, very boring. It was in the north side of Madrid. I _have_ , though, lived in Brussels city, uh… the central part of it? Very near the center.”

“Ah, I see,” Remus hummed. “I’ve always lived in small towns.”

“City fucking _sucks_ ,” Elías repeated. “It’s seriously so noisy and I’ve to take care not to disturb neighbors that are noisier than I am. You can’t play an instrument without someone calling the fucking police on you. And don’t remind me of the fucking _fire alarms_! Ugh! Going off constantly –”

Remus was laughing into his hand, grinning at Elías, shaking his head, “I see that you dislike the city very much, yes.”

“Beach is better. Or forest. Or mountain. Or countryside, like, I don’t _care_ as long as it’s away from people,” Elías stated.

“I… share that sentiment,” Remus confessed, making Elías turn to him. “You know, I moved around a lot when I was younger. Due to my condition, we couldn’t stay long, not if I wanted to be off the registry.”

“Shit, you’re off the registry?” Elías breathed, eyes wide.

“I’m off the registry,” Remus sighed deeply, nodding. “But I couldn’t find jobs that wouldn’t find out about me sooner or later. It… becomes quite evident, after a while. And muggle jobs that didn’t require a muggle college degree don’t pay very well.”

“Yeah,” Elías murmured, his hand slowly moving around Remus’ elbow, smiling at him. “But hey! You’re a teacher now!”

“I am,” Remus beamed at him.

“And a very good one, at that,” Elías added, making Remus shy away a bit but Elías nudged him. “You know, you’re a good teacher because you understand the subject and you’re passionate about it. But you never talk to me about it at all. How come?”

“Why we don’t discuss it?” Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “Well, it’s a very… unpleasant topic, isn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Elías frowned. “Severus and I talk a lot about it. About the nature of magic and curses and why things are the way they are.”

“Of course you do,” Remus smirked. “And you call _me_ pretentious.”

“Are we or are we not going on a Saturday night to the National Gallery to look at a Monet exhibit as a means of _fun_?” Elías asked, cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Art isn’t pretentious,” Remus told him.

“It can be if you pair it with tweet, professor Lupin,” Elías gestured at him and Remus gave a loud laugh, his arm going tighter to pull Elías closer.

“Alright, alright. I’ll cave in. Do we agree that tonight we can be as pretentious as we want, then?” Remus asked, looking at Elías with a lopsided grin. Elías smiled right back.

“Tonight I’ll be _insufferable_ ,” he promised. “Starting right now – why Monet?”

“Light,” Remus replied easily.

“Well, that’s all of impressionism,” Elías countered. “ _Impression, soleil levant._ He wanted to capture the French countryside through the seasons.”

“I think the most beautiful paintings are those of mundane matters,” Remus told him, Elías nodding as the two entered the Kentish Town West station, waiting in line to get their tickets for the day. “I don’t enjoy the grandiose, over-the-top paintings of historical moments that the painter didn’t actually see. I enjoy… the depictions of the everyday life. Moments captured like a camera but through the lenses of the author. You get to see what truly matters to someone, that way.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” Elías smiled softly, nodding. “Monet loved France.”

“He did, and you can tell. He shows his emotions in every brushstroke,” Remus hummed, their conversation pausing as they finally got their tickets, moving into the station fully. “ _La Gare Saint-Lazare_ is another one I love, for example. And not many think of it as a beautiful painting but… I can almost smell the smoke of the train, whenever I see it.”

“I always envied the way he painted light so well, I could never replicate it,” Elías said, making Remus turn to him with surprise. “I er, painted a bit as a teenager.”

“Did you?” Remus asked, grinning. “For real?”

“Nothing – like, nothing _big_ , Gods, I was _awful_ at it,” he laughed.

“Lily and I fancied ourselves the next big generation of artists, you know,” Remus told Elías, laughing.

“What?” Elías giggled, the two waiting by the tracks, Elías loosening his scarf a bit.

“Yeah, me and Marlene and Lily and Dorcas. The four of us thought that we’d break everything,” he shook his head, amused.

“Wait, but which part of the arts? You mean painting or something else?” Elías asked, tightening his grip on Remus’ arm, eyes sparkling. “Remus! Did you paint?”

“No! Oh, Merlin, _no_ , I have _no_ concept of color,” he cleared his throat, flushing a bit. “I… wrote a lot. As a teenager and uh, a bit as a young adult. I’ll admit it was my one passion and the thing I thought I was… actually good at.”

“You _write_?” Elías’ face lit up. “Oh, of course you do, you’re as much of a bookworm as I am! What did you write?! What stories did you do?!”

“Oh, I – they were short – well, there was this uh,” he flushed and Elías’ smile just went wider and wider. “I… did poetry and prose.”

“Remus, you’ve no idea how happy this makes me,” Elías breathed, hand over his mouth, watching the werewolf hide a bit in his coat and scarf, ears red. “I’ve never heard you trying to be poetic! Or – or talking about the books and writers you love!”

“I’ve talked about those,” he grumbled.

“But not in _depth_ ,” Elías tried to get the Gryffindor to look at him and Remus did, albeit a bit embarrassed. “Are you holding back on me?”

“…maybe,” Remus mumbled and Elías’ face turned softer, moving in front of Remus and gripping the lapels of his coat, eyes right on his, blue on green. “I just – I know it can be annoying and I’ve grown past talking for _hours_ about the things I love –”

“Let me hear them all,” Elías begged him, catching Remus off-guard for a moment, the werewolf blinking at him. “Tell me all the things that make you happy. All the things everyone told you were boring or uninteresting. Tell me about dead poets and the thousands of books that you’ve read and the feeling of safety in a library and how much you’ve poured into your writing. Tell me it all, Moony.”

Remus inhaled deeply, looking over Elías’ head at the other side of the tracks before finally smiling, sighing, looking down at the other professor with a shake of his head.

“You’re going to love me talking about academia, aren’t you?” he said, hand moving to flick away some hair from Elías’ eyes and of course, Elías grinned. “You’re just as annoying and enthusiastic about dead philosophers as I am.”

“I can recite Poe,” Elías confessed.

“I had a John Keats phase,” Remus replied, giggling. “And I don’t think it’s over.”

“E.E. Cummings is probably the most heartwrenching poet I’ve ever read.”

“I read Jane Austen just to cry sometimes.”

“I almost chose to study philosophy as a career, even though it has so little job options.”

“Oh Merlin – let me guess, you had a Nietzsche enlightment?”

Elías burst out laughing, leaning into Remus’ chest as the train arrived, Remus chuckling against the top of his head.

“Of course I did,” he snorted. “Gods, I was such a little shit at seventeen. I thought I had the world figured out.”

“So did I,” Remus murmured, looking at the train while it slowed to a stop, the both of them sliding inside with a crowd of people. “My favorite book was _The Great Gatsby_. That should tell you everything.”

Elías had to press himself against the cold wall of the train and Remus quickly held onto the upper bar to steady them both when he realized Elías could only hold onto him. Neither of them minded much, though, still talking in that little corner, their little bubble of unapologetic happiness.

“Mine was the _Catcher in the Rye_ ,” Elías laughed. “And _Animal Farm_.”

“You and Sirius are the _same_ ,” Remus accused and Elías giggled into his shirt. “Of course it was.”

“Alright, so, you said you wrote,” Elías told him, looking up at Remus with a grin. “How much did you write?”

“A lot,” Remus admitted, watching Elías back with a shy smile. “A lot of it was trash but there were _some_ things that I was truly proud of. I uh, won a little contest back in Second Year, at Hogwarts. They don’t do the creative writing club anymore but Lily, Dorcas, Marlene and I used to go.”

“They wrote as well?” Elías asked, smiling.

“Well, Marlene did the way I did,” Remus hummed. “But Lily was more about painting. She loved to paint very, very much. And she liked muggle paintings the most, the still ones. Dorcas was an incredible photographer, all the pictures you see before 1980? It’s probably theirs.”

“Wow,” Elías muttered, watching him. “Truly an artistic group.”

“We grew out of it, of course,” Remus shrugged. “War came. Shit happens, as they say, and we moved on to the war effort. I haven’t written in a long time.”

“Maybe you should,” Elías nudged him, quickly rushing to grip Remus’ arm as the train jerked, Remus’ hand grasping at Elías’ shoulder. “I’d love to read anything you wrote.”

“I don’t… know about that,” Remus laughed, sheepish. “I’m no Cummings, Elías.”

“If I wanted to read Cummings, I’d _read_ Cummings,” Elías replied, a small smile on his lips. “I want to read Remus Lupin. Alright?”

“I’ll uh… see if I can salvage anything of my old writing,” he promised, indulging Elías. “But in return, could I ask you for something?”

“Yes,” Elías said confidently, nodding.

“I want to hear one of the songs you wrote,” Remus said and Elías no longer looked confident, hand slapping over his face and groaning. “Eli –”

“Anything but _thaaat_ …” the Slytherin groaned. “Gods, my songs – they’re so cringy, Remus, I _swear_ , they’re – they’re such teenager bops like, _oh my family doesn’t understand me and life sucks and I don’t want to pay rent_ , they’re so bad, trust me.”

“Not even one? There isn’t one you want to show me?” Remus asked and Elías hesitated, making Remus lean a bit further, getting closer to Elías, who gave a shy look at his own shoes.

“Erm…” he began to flush red. “Maybe I uh… wrote a song… a few weeks ago…?”

Remus blinked, breaking into a huge grin, “You did?!”

“It’s not – it’s not great, it’s super er, you know,” Elías wiggled his fingers. “Demo-y. And you know, I didn’t want you to – it’s – sort of private but – I mean, I wrote it thinking of… um… you.”

Remus watched Elías for a moment, looking baffled, eyes wide and Elías looked away, trying to see if they were anywhere close and thankfully, there were just two more stops. When Elías looked once again at Remus, he still looked stunned.

“You… wrote me a song?” Remus asked, voice quiet.

“It’s not romantic, it is _not_ romantic, I _promise_ ,” Elías stated firmly, clearing his throat. “It’s just – I began to write it after we talked about scars on the beach, you know? And – well, I’ve just been adding bit by bit to it and it’s not even _finished_ , it’s so stupid, I’m taking so long and it’s not even –”

“When it’s ready,” Remus interrupted, making Elías look up at him shyly. “Just let me hear it, alright? When it’s ready and _you_ are ready to show me.”

“I will,” Elías promised quietly, relaxing a bit before the train gave another jerk and almost sent Remus flying to the floor, the Slytherin quickly gripping him before he could, laughing at the look on Remus’ face. “Oh, you’re _adorable_.”

“We’re here, come on,” Remus rolled his eyes, hand moving to Elías’, holding it tight so they wouldn’t get separated through the crowd. Elías just laughed into his back, the two stumbling into central London, the Spaniard looking at Remus’ back and suddenly thinking about how incredibly lucky he was that he got to experience this, to have Remus to himself for an entire evening, an entire night. He hid his smile on Remus’ arm and tightened his grip in his hand, sighing softly. Remus may not like Elías the way Elías liked Remus but it didn’t matter – he just wanted to see Remus happy.

“Have you ever been to the National Gallery?” Remus asked him and Elías nodded.

“But a very long time ago. I was maybe twelve? So around ten years or so,” Elías told him, catching up with his long strides, walking on Remus’ left. “I never got to go to the British Library, though.”

“Oh, then we _have_ to go now,” Remus grinned. “It’s beautiful.”

“I know! I want to see,” Elías pouted a bit. “My ma’s gone a _thousand_ times to do official military stuff from her job but I can never find the time to go.”

“We’ll go, I’ll take you,” Remus promised, making Elías grin. “I used to go quite a lot with Marlene, while she was studying her degree in sociology.”

“She studied in muggle college?” Elías asked, surprised.

“Yes, actually, she graduated a year earlier than us,” Remus explained. “And she started in King’s College.”

“That’s amazing,” Elías said quietly.

“College always called to me?” Remus confessed, making Elías smile. “I don’t know what I’d study, though.”

“Literature, maybe?” Elías suggested just as they stepped into the square, leaving Elías with wide, sparkling eyes, murmuring, “Whoa…”

The sunset painted Trafalgar Square in beautiful oranges and pinks, that typical crowded feeling of building in the city gone in exchange for an open space. There were various groups of people hanging out but there was plenty of space, since it was still cold out in April. Elías felt a huge smile take over his face, having forgotten that cities… sometimes they could be alright.

“Had you never been here?” Remus asked, surprised, starting to grin.

“Honestly? I can’t remember if I have,” Elías muttered, walking a bit slower. “Wow. This is – well, shit, it’s kind of _amazing_.”

“It is,” Remus laughed, pointing at the National Gallery. “And we’re going there.”

There were banners displaying the exhibit currently there, making Elías smile widely at the beautiful and familiar brushstrokes, starting to walk a little bit faster, Remus easily following with his long legs. Like a Chihuahua next to a Mastín.

“ _Now_ you’re excited,” Remus laughed and Elías nodded eagerly, pulling on Remus’ hand.

“Yes! I haven’t been to an art gallery in so fucking long! Come on!” he giggled.

“If I didn’t know you better,” Remus spoke as the two climbed the stairs, his smile fond as he watched Elías. “I’d even say that you’re as much of a nerd as me.”

* * *

The night was deep by the time Remus and Elías left the gallery, feeling inspired and fulfilled and a little bit hungry, the cold now seeping a bit more into them. Remus worked on putting his scarf back around his neck while Elías watched the lights in the square, shivering slightly, hands quickly moving into the pockets of his own coat.

“That was lovely,” he murmured, smiling at Remus. “I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed an exhibit more in my life, you know so much!”

“I’ve poured over one too many books about Impressionism,” Remus laughed, finishing with getting warm before turning to Elías, frowning at his shiver. “Are you cold?”

“Yeah, but it’s alright,” Elías replied quickly. “Too many people here for me to cast a warmth charm. Maybe later on.”

“We could go somewhere quiet,” Remus suggested to him, stepping closer. “And apparate back to my father’s.”

“That’s a good idea,” Elías said, then gave a sheepish smile. “But if I’m honest, I just want to enjoy London a bit more? If that’s alright?”

Remus chuckled, nodding, “That sounds alright. What do you think of taking a bit of a long walk, hmm? Find a restaurant, we eat dinner and then we leave?”

“That sounds wonderful,” Elías murmured and his heart skipped a beat when Remus wrapped his own arm around Elías’ elbow, starting to move West, “Where are we going?”

“You like Italian, right?” Remus asked.

“Thoroughly,” Elías grinned.

“Then trust me,” Remus told him and Elías had to stop himself from telling Remus that he did. He trusted Remus with so much more than he’d trusted anyone else. “We’ve to go through Lower Thames Street, so we walk along the river.”

“There’s a great song I once heard in… you know, one of my things,” Elías told him, huddling close for warmth, seeing so little people outside that it was almost nice. “I’m remembering it because it mentions Thames Street.”

“You haven’t been to London much, have you?” Remus guessed.

“Just a few times,” Elías shrugged. “Mostly for books – and that was in Diagon Alley. There’s really no need for me to be in this part of the city.”

“Now there is,” Remus said and Elías had to smile. “That’s a bit mad to me, to think that you don’t know this city. I mean, you grew up in Hogwarts but I keep having to remind myself that you know Brussels much more than you know London.”

“Did you ever live here?” Elías asked.

“Live, live _…_ I wouldn’t say _live_ ,” Remus winced. “More like… tried to survive. Back in the war, we used the Prewett’s house as headquarters, which is actually not too far from here? So we were in London a lot, the Order of the Phoenix. Now, though, I’m barely in this city. I think I know Edinburgh more.”

“Never been to Edinburgh but I’ve been told it’s gorgeous,” Elías said and Remus nodded.

“Oh, for sure. You’d love it,” he smiled at the Slytherin. “You know, you’ve been showing me so many places in San Fernando, I’m glad I get to show you London now.”

“I’m glad to be here, too,” Elías muttered, the two walking without rush, a few cars passing by but otherwise the street wasn’t too busy. Elías was glad, face against Remus’ arm, feeling like this moment could be broken by the honk of a car. “You don’t have to return anything, you know. I showed you because I wanted to.”

“I know,” Remus assured, voice soft. “And I’m returning the favor because I want to. London can be… dirty and too crowded at times but sometimes…”

Remus looked around, behind them and to the sides and Elías wondered what in the world he was doing when the werewolf suddenly pulled on Elías’ arm and threw them both onto an abandoned alley, the feeling of apparition making Elías dizzy for a second. When they both appeared on another alley, Elías had to grab onto Remus, giggling hard, Remus quickly throwing his hand against the wall to balance them both.

“Warn a _guy_ next time! Moony!” Elías laughed, looking up at him with a mock glare.

“Sorry, I saw the window of opportunity,” he grinned, steadying Elías before pointing behind him. “But we’re here.”

Elías turned and his jaw dropped, eyes going wide, looking at a little green piece of heaven in the middle of London. He looked around, seeing no one and wondering if this was part of wizarding London but soon he was close enough to read the plaque on the stone.

“Saint Dunstan…?” Elías asked, turning to Remus, who looked very, very happy to be here, grinning at Elías and nodding. “What’s – what’s this?”

“A church,” Remus replied, climbing up the stairs inside. “Well, now it’s a park but originally, when it was built in 1100, it was a church. It was gravely damaged in the Great Fire of London, in 1666. It’s undergone many, many, _many_ reconstructions because it keeps being hit by everything, you know? In one of the World Wars, I believe it was ruined as well but I don’t remember which, muggle history is a bit harder to recall.”

“It’s… it’s _gorgeous_ ,” Elías breathed, looking at the benches, the vines, all the greenery growing all around them in this little, tiny, moment of peace. It looked like something out of a dream, almost, and Elías unconsciously brought his hand to the wing around his left ear, breathing in the much fresher air inside Saint Dunstan Public Park. “Gods, it’s just _here_? Smack dab in the middle of London?”

“Mhmm,” Remus nodded, smiling at the empty windows and overgrown vegetation over the walls. “I knew you’d like it.”

“I love it,” Elías laughed, smiling softly, looking at the sky and being a little disappointed that he couldn’t see the stars. “...it’s beautiful.”

Before he could look away from the night sky, though, Remus stepped closer and lifted his wand, Elías giving out a breath of surprise when the stars came in view – and then immediately laughed, hand over his mouth.

“I positioned them wrong, didn’t I?” Remus said sheepishly.

“Orion isn’t there, it’s _there_ ,” Elías pointed. “And the little dipper – oh, it’s _fine_ ,” he chuckled, turning to Remus, who looked on the verge of laughing. “Now I’m the one being pretentious and stuck-up.”

“We gave a pass for today, remember?” Remus pointed out.

“It’s already night, so I think we should stop,” Elías put his hands on his hips and turned to Remus. “You know how we fix that?”

“Please, don’t tell me it’s destroying public property,” Remus said and Elías paused.

“You know how _else_ we fix that?” he said after a pause and Remus doubled over, laughing hard.

“How, pray tell?” the Gryffindor looked amused.

“ _MEET ME ON THAAAAMES STREET!_ ” Elías began to sing, immediately pulling Remus in to dance around the stone and grass, making the Gryffindor nearly trip before clumsily following. “ _I’LL TAKE YOU OUT THOUGH I’M HARDLY WORTH YOUR TIIIIME! IN THE COOOLD YOU LOOK SO FIERCE BUT I’M WARM ENOUGH BECAUSE THE TENSION’S LIKE A FIIIIIIRE!_ ”

“Elías!” Remus laughed, so surprised that there were no instruments, no attempts to make the singing alright, simply Elías screaming out as he urged Remus to dance as well.

“ _WE’LL HIT – WHITECHAPEL IN A MATTER OF MINUTES AND LIKE A BAD MOVIE I’LL DROP A LINE! FALL IN THE GRAVE I’VE BEEN DIGGING MYSELF BUT THERE’S ROOM FOR TWOOOO! SIX FEET UNDER THE STARS!_ ”

Elías laughed as he finished, hearing a car honk by in protest but he felt thoroughly accomplished, grinning widely at Remus, breathless and much better than he’d felt this morning. Remus let out a sound of amusement between a wheeze and a chuckle, shaking his head, grinning at him.

“You can’t even sing badly,” he said and Elías laughed.

“I just did!”

“No, _this_ is singing badly,” Remus said, making Elías’ mouth open with delight before he began, off-pitch and awfully, wonderfully, beautifully bad. “ _Weee get it aaalmost every night! When that moon is big and bright, it’s a supernaaatural delight!_ ”

“ _Everybody’s dancing in the mooonlight!_ ” Elías sang along, feeling Remus start to actually _dance_ , his hand on Elías’ waist, the other one entwining their cold, cold fingers.

“ _DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT!_ ” Remus shouted, voice breaking, Elías’ tummy hurting from laughter as they _jumped_ around, not even properly dancing, Remus’ scarf untangling and hanging about, almost making them both trip. “ _EVERYBODY’S FEELING WARM AND BRIGHT – IT’S SUCH A FIIIINE AND NATURAL SIGHT!_ ”

“ _EVERYBODY’S DANCING IN THE MOOOONLIGHT!_ ” they both screamed, right at the top of their lungs into a fake, wrong starry sky, nearly tripping on each other, breathless and trying a little too hard, being a little too embarrassing but Elías thought immediately that if he revisited this memory, it probably wouldn’t need those rose-tinted glasses.


	67. There Used to Be Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this chapter is....very heavy and I'm giving you here a bit warning. Also, this is the first chapter with non-diegetic music! Be careful reading and take care 💘
> 
> Music in this Chapter:  
> (When they enter the manor)  
> \- The Baudelaire Orphans by Thomas Newman  
> (Grocery shopping)  
> \- Monday by Ludovico Einaudi
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Alcohol consumption   
> \- Mild violence  
> \- Alcoholism  
> \- PTSD attack  
> \- Loss/Grief  
> \- Suicide mention  
> \- Death mention  
> \- Discussion of war  
> \- Discussion of blood  
> \- Mild blood  
> \- Discussion of addiction  
> \- Discussion of alcoholism  
> \- Discussion of detoxification  
> \- Mention of Hospital

Arriving at Hogwarts late at night felt a bit like sneaking back home after a party. Elías and Remus were a little bit too happy from the Italian red wine back in that little restaurant near Thames Street and the fact that they’d been able to not almost not wake up Lyall felt like an accomplishment – more or less, really, because Elías had tripped over the couch and Lyall had woken up anyway, fondly helping the two professors in the living room.

After a glass of water, some rest and an actual attempt to get sober, Elías and Remus got to Elías’ quarters in the castle, exhausted. But the night wasn’t over yet.

“Sirius must be _so_ worried,” Remus told him as they lowered the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, Elías’ face pressed against Remus’ arm, trying to stay awake. “We can just go see him real fast, alright? I know tomorrow morning you’ll regret it if we don’t go.”

“M’gonna fall asleep on the Shrieking Shack,” Elías mumbled.

“As long as you do it there and not on the way, it’s fine,” Remus chuckled, giving him a fond smile.

“I feel so bad that we woke your dad up,” Elías snickered as they found themselves on the ground floor, moving towards the courtyard. Since it was so cold inside and the dementors were still roaming around, it was best to do most of the way through the castle and tunnel.

“Next time, let’s try and get drunk _after_ we leave the city,” Remus laughed quietly.

“Honestly, it’s not _my_ fault that wine was so good and _so_ cheap,” Elías pointed out.

“Told you it was a nice place,” Remus grinned.

“Now I feel like I’ve to take you through Madrid,” Elías said, making Remus glance over at him with a small smile. “I know all the nice little corners of the city, I’ll take you!”

“Shh,” Remus put a finger over his lips, giggling. “You’re being _so_ loud, Elías, it’s nearly one in the morning, _please_.”

“Shhh yourself,” Elías whispered, laughing a bit.

“Are you still drunk?” Remus snickered, looking over at him.

“Just a little tipsy by now, honestly,” Elías replied, looking at the tip of Remus’ wand, where a soft light shone. “I had fun this evening.”

“So did I,” Remus smiled, hand moving to Elías’ wrist to keep him walking close to him and not stumbling slightly.

“We should do that more often,” Elías hummed, moving his hand so that they were holding hands instead, grinning a bit sloppily. “Going out to museums. I miss doing that.”

“Did you do it often?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, with ma,” he murmured. “But she lives somewhere else now. And I don’t have time to go. But she really loves London, maybe… I should take her out. I neglect her, sometimes.”

“That’s not what I see,” Remus laughed quietly. “You’re always talking about her and your father.”

“Yeah, cause I’m super grateful to have a good relationship with them,” Elías explained, ignoring a painting that began to cuss at them for the light, turning around in his canvas. “Like, I used to have such a bad relationship with them. So now I overcompensate, because I’m a man.”

“Uh-huh,” Remus snickered, amused, squeezing his hand. “You are.”

“I am,” Elías repeated, chin going high. “A disaster of a man but I _am_ one.”

“Not denying it,” Remus chuckled, looking over at him. “I know that very well.”

“I’ve got a beard and all,” Elías pointed at his own face. “D’you know how long it took for this to fuckin’ grow? _So much_! I hated that. But now I can grow it. And I’m happy about it.”

“Mhmm,” Remus was endlessly amused by his ranting before he suddenly heard voices, making the two freeze. The werewolf glanced over at Elías, who seemed to immediately sober up as well, pulling out his wand from its holster.

The two were ready for another couple of professors but what they weren’t ready for was for them to turn the corner and immediately catch two Slytherins in their pajamas, eyes wide, holding what smelled like cinnamon rolls and matching mugs of hot chocolate.

“Theo, Draco,” Elías said softly, wand lowering, a frown in his face. “It’s _quite_ late, what are you two doing out of bed?”

“A run in the kitchens, it seems,” Remus pointed out.

“We’re so sorry,” Theodore said hurriedly, stepping forward, eyes worried. “I – we couldn’t sleep and – you know, Slytherin lost today so I thought maybe some food would help um, Draco calm down –”

“Hey, hey,” Elías quickly put a hand on his shoulder, making the kid relax. “It’s alright, this isn’t a huge infraction. It’s the first time this year that any of you have broken curfew, it’s fine. Especially since you were looking out for Draco.”

“Sorry, sir,” Draco mumbled. “S’my fault.”

“No, it’s mine –”

“Just get back to bed,” Remus told them both, arms crossing, smiling at them kindly. “Five points from Slytherin. There, that’s the punishment – get back to your dorms.”

“Yes, sir,” they both quickly said, rushing away, Elías watching them leave with a little frown still.

“I worry about Draco,” Elías muttered. “That loss really hit him and the team hard.”

“Maybe in the next days you could try and cheer them up,” Remus nudged him, pulling Elías forward so they’d get to the courtyard quickly. “Talk to them in the Common Room. I know you’ll get through to them.”

“I hope so,” Elías murmured, sighing, following Remus. “Let’s – let’s just get to Sirius.”

* * *

“What the _fuck_ happened?!”

Elías nearly fell down the trapdoor and on top of Remus as Sirius got all up in his face, making him quickly get a hold of his arms with a squeak. Sirius rapidly pulled him out, helping Remus next, looking anxious.

“You two didn’t come on Friday and Crookshanks told me that there was _blood_ all over you, angel, like, _fuck_ , what?”

“If you’d let us in, maybe we could explain,” Remus said, nearly stumbling in, brushing dirt out of his sweater.

“Right, yeah, alright,” Sirius nodded, closing the trap door, breathing out before looking at Remus and Elías, frowning. “You two look… dressed up.”

“Yeah, we went to London tonight,” Elías said, climbing up the stairs and Sirius turned to Remus, who was doing a very good job of ignoring Sirius’ inquisitive look. “Let us explain but first let me sit _down_ , I am _so tired_.”

“Where did you go in London? Is something happening? Is the Order back?” Sirius asked as he followed Elías, Remus right after him.

“No, not at all,” Remus assured, rubbing the side of his neck. “We uh, we had tickets to an art exhibit.”

Sirius stared at him, stopping on the doorway while Elías dropped on the mattress, grunting. Remus, again, did not look at Sirius as he also entered the room, sitting down slowly on the corner of the mattress.

“You went to London to go watch art in a museum,” Sirius stated, looking at Remus and Elías. “That’s why you came so late?”

“We already bought the tickets and we couldn’t come _earlier_ , it would’ve been suspicious,” Elías mumbled into the blankets and Sirius put his hands over his face, giving a laugh.

“Did you also go for dinner?” he teased, making Remus flush but Elías didn’t catch the tone, too tired as he curled up.

“Yeah, to an Italian restaurant, it was really nice,” Elías murmured, Remus starting to curl onto himself as Sirius just smirked wider and wider.

“Mhmm, mhmm,” the Gryffindor crossed his arms, incredibly smug. “You two really went to a museum to have _fun_. Merlin, I’m surrounded by _nerds_.”

“I’m not a _nerd_ ,” Elías huffed, finally sitting up and glaring at Sirius playfully. “I’m just an academic _punk_.”

“Academia goes against punk,” Sirius immediately said, narrowing his eyes and pointing at Elías. “Because academia –”

“—Perpetuates systemic racism and is very much classist, yeah, yeah, I know,” Elías rolled his eyes. “But it doesn’t have to be the Eurocentric, white, classist academia that everyone idolizes. In case you didn’t know, I’m from the south of Spain! All our poetry and lyrical genius comes from Arab culture! Our most important legend is influenced by –”

“ _Nerd_ ,” Sirius interrupted, grinning, sitting down next to him with a laugh as Elías began to hit him with a pillow. “Alright, enough talk about stupid things; hit with me with yesterday. I need to know why you got blood all over you.”

“Pettigrew used the Dark Mark,” Elías told him and Sirius’ grin immediately fell, his eyes growing wide. “I went down to the dungeons to try and see why Severus hadn’t come to breakfast and I found him in a pool of blood, shaking.”

“What?” Sirius breathed. “He rejected the call?”

“He and Corban,” Elías nodded, making Remus wince and nod along.

“Wait, Corban? Who’s Corban?” Sirius asked, startled.

“Icarus Yaxley,” Remus explained, Elías whipping to gape at the werewolf. “He goes by Corban now.”

“Fuck, Philippa’s husband?” Sirius slowly nodded. “Alright, makes sense that he’d reject it, too but – _shite_. Is he alright?”

“I arrived on time with a Blood-Replenishing Potion,” Elías told him, making Sirius sigh a bit, nodding. “Kiera and Felix were there, along with Tobias and I –”

“The fact that you’re on a first-name basis with all of the people whom I fought at _war_ seriously makes me want to scream,” Sirius stated and Elías took a deep breath, eyes closing, letting the comment just brush him. “Seriously, you’re getting along with Deatheaters as a _muggleborn_ –”

“We’re not going to have this discussion again,” Elías told him, raising a finger at him, Sirius hastily looking away.

“In any case,” Remus quickly interrupted, trying to dissipate the fight that was threatening to break out. “Corban is alright now, as far as we know. Elías told me that the others also bled but not as much, right?”

“Exactly,” Elías nodded. “Pettigrew called but nobody answered, at least that’s what Severus told me. And Tobias was fucking _pissed_ about Pettigrew. I think they all thought he was dead, as well.”

“Of course,” Sirius curled his upper lip in disgust. “Hid from everyone, that disgusting little _bitch_.”

“Focus, Padfoot,” Elías told him, making Sirius glance at him. “It’s _good_ that nobody answered him,” Elías said. “Because if they had, Pettigrew would be out of here and he probably is _desperate_ now to find an out. I think he’s going to try and go back to Ron, I _really_ do. It’s his best hiding spot and the only one who caught him was Crookshanks and _you_ , and you’re on the run with no one else, remember? On your own, a traitor.”

“Right,” Sirius nodded, eyes narrowed. “We’ve got to make him feel more comfortable with the thought of going back to Ron.”

“That means no Crookshanks,” Remus said and Elías frowned.

“Maybe I could get Hermione to keep a leash on him better,” he murmured, thoughtful. “I’ll talk to her on Monday. See what I can do about that.”

“Good idea,” Remus nodded, leaning back against the post.

“I saw this morning that Gryffindor won, by the way,” Sirius spoke up, making Elías sigh and Sirius gave a laugh. “Ooooh, you don’t like losing, do ya?”

“Don’t – it’s something else,” Elías waved it off, pulling a face.

“I heard you screaming at Snape,” Sirius said and Elías winced. “You sure he’s your friend? Because you were _shouting_ at him some shite, huh?”

“Sirius,” Remus warned softly.

“It’s none of your business,” Elías stated, standing from the bed, adjusting his scarf as he frowned down at it. This reminded him that he had to apologize to Severus about his attitude this morning and the more he thought about it, the more embarrassed he was of his outburst. The man had come to apologize and Elías had taken all of his frustrations out on him, it hadn’t been fair.

“Are you alright?”

Elías turned to Sirius, watching as his teasing faded into true worry, making Elías deflate a bit.

“I yelled at him when I shouldn’t have,” he mumbled, still fiddling with his scarf. “He came to apologize to me about something he said and I was… I was a dick.”

“I’m sure if you go and talk to him, it’ll be alright,” Remus assured Elías, giving him a small smile. “You two always jump back. Just tell him you’re sorry.”

“I know, I know,” Elías sighed, looking at the window. “…do you think it’s too late?”

“Yes,” Remus stood, rolling his eyes. “It can wait for tomorrow, alright?”

“I’ll sleep like shit,” he murmured and Remus pulled him into a gentle hug, rubbing the back of his shoulder. “Moony, why am I such a dick?”

“You’re not a dick, it’s been a pretty bad morning for you,” he told the Slytherin.

“Did something else happen?” Sirius frowned.

“Had a weird Sight,” Elías sighed, rubbing his face. “And we all had a discussion about Time Magic and my seer shit and – it was just bad. And I realized that I’m so impulsive that it’s _dangerous_ so I – well, I want to change that, yeah?”

“Right, like with the… adoption thing,” Sirius murmured, making Remus nod firmly and Elías wince. “Well, that’s fucking admirable.”

“What?” Elías blinked, confused.

“That you realized that. That you – you know, wanna change,” he gestured at Elías. “So good for you, angel.”

“…thanks,” Elías whispered, rubbing his nose before giving out a wide yawn. “There’s a lot of shit I’ve to fix about uh, myself.”

“Cheers to that, I’m the same,” Sirius raised an imaginary cup and Remus’ eyebrows shot up.

“Truly?” he put his hands on his hips, watching his childhood friend. “ _Now_ you admit that you’ve got flaws and bad habits that you’ve to work on?”

“Yep,” Sirius grinned at him and Remus sighed deeply.

“Well, at _least_ you realize it now,” he grumbled, making Elías snort and Sirius laugh as he stood, trying to hug Remus. “No – _no_ , no _hugs_ – I’ve spent _years_ telling you that you’re hot-headed and impulsive and short-tempered and you’ve _always_ dismissed me but the moment someone else tells you–”

“Moony,” Sirius tried, Elías giggling as Sirius struggled to hold Remus, who kept squawking.

“—then you _immediately_ are able to admit it. You know, I spent _so long_ , so much effort, and this is the thanks that I get?”

“ _Moony_ ,” Sirius laughed, face pressing to his chest, hugging him despite his grumbling, Elías now laughing hard into his hand. “I’m so sorry I was an immature prick. I’m going to listen to you from now on. Does that make you feel a little bit better?”

“…slightly so,” Remus huffed, Sirius just holding him tightly.

“You two light up my day,” Elías said, grinning, Remus flushing when Sirius picked him up a bit. “Okay, okay, it’s _late_ and we’ve had a lot to drink, Sirius. Maybe don’t throw Remus around.”

“Sure,” he chuckled, putting the tall, lanky werewolf back down and Remus cleared his throat, brushing his coat. “You are leaving, then?” he asked, a bit sadly.

“It’s one in the morning,” Elías replied, looking down at his watch, sighing. “And I want to talk to Sev as soon as possible.”

“ _Sev_?” Sirius asked, looking horrified but before Elías could snap at him, Remus was pushing the Slytherin towards the exit.

“Aaand that’s our cue to leave,” Remus laughed forcefully. “Have a good night, Sirius!”

“Night,” Elías mumbled, receiving a roll of Sirius’ eyes before he dropped on the mattress and Elías lost sight of him as he and Remus left.

* * *

The next morning was Sunday and Elías felt like it had been a week since the incident at the office and Quidditch Pitch, hands picking at a cotton ball on his sweater, hesitating in front of the potions classroom. He’d felt confident coming down here from the highest point of Hogwarts but in the long trek to the dungeons, he’d felt his courage slowly leaving him like smoke dissipating in the air.

He’d been so worried about Sirius and the Slytherin Team and Corban that he’d forgotten his decorum. Elías was such a fucking hypocrite, expecting everyone to be kind to each other when he kept losing his marbles whenever something mildly stressing happened. He tried to apply what Remus had told him yesterday, tried to give himself a reprieve – he’d been emotionally exhausted, it’d been a horrible morning, Severus had said something that hurt him – but being kind of himself wasn’t too present at the moment, instead putting more and more blame onto his shoulders as he stared at the looming, thick wooden door.

Elías had to know. He had to _apologize_. It wasn’t about him, it was about _Severus_. He owed it to him.

Swallowing, Elías lifted a hand and was about to knock when he paused, chewing on his lower lip. Would Severus even be awake at seven in the morning? On a Sunday? While he was still recovering from that incident? What if he knocked and forced Severus out of bed? Or what if Severus sent him to Hell –

“Are you going to stare all day at my door?”

Elías _jumped_ , turning around and slipping from the step where he stood, falling against the door and hitting the back of his head, making him whine, wincing. In front of him stood Severus, his hand around a mug of tea that smelled strongly of ginger, dressed for the day, perfectly awake. He sighed deeply at Elías, who rubbed the back of his head.

“Hi,” he mumbled at the other Slytherin.

“Good morning,” Severus looked unimpressed. “Might I ask what is so fascinating about my classroom door?”

“I was uh,” Elías tried to gather his wits, standing straight once more, making a face at the tender spot in his head. “I was… about to knock.”

“You stood there for over five minutes,” Severus stated.

“Gathering the guts to knock, more like,” Elías corrected.

“Ah,” Severus frowned down at him, looking mildly confused. “I… see.”

“Could we talk?” Elías asked quietly.

“I’m about to head to Corban’s,” Severus replied and Elías’ face immediately changed. “If you’d like to come and check on him –”

“Yes,” he quickly said, nodding. “Please.”

“Very well,” Severus sighed, opening the door of his classroom, passing by Elías, the Spaniard following him inside.

He watched Severus putter about, drinking his mug of tea quickly as he grabbed a few potions, a box of something, a blanket and put it all in a bag, taking a deep breath. Elías said nothing, looking at the man, wondering why all those things.

“If I say _leave_ , you go wait in the drawing room,” Severus told him, making Elías blink. “Am I understood?”

“I – yes, completely,” Elías murmured, surprised by this. “Is everything okay? Is he _okay_? What’s going –”

“I don’t know if things are alright, Elías, that’s why I’m preparing for it,” Severus stated, making Elías swallow. “I understand that you worry about him, I understand you consider him a friend but for _his_ sake, you’ll do as I say, alright?”

Elías nodded, his hands starting to sweat a bit, worry making his stomach churn – at least he hadn’t had breakfast, he probably would’ve thrown it up.

“Sev, I – ” Elías felt his mouth go dry as the other professor glanced at him. “I’m _so sorry_ about yesterday,” he finally said, stepping a bit closer, the back of his eyes burning. “It was so very unfair to yell and scream at you, I won’t make excuses. It was – you were apologizing and I was a dick and I should’ve stopped and listened to you instead of unloading onto you all these things that aren’t your fault a-and I –”

“Elías,” Severus interrupted, making him blink hard, hand rubbing at his nose.

His voice had been gentle but Elías was seeing a bit blurry, watching Severus come closer and slowly put his hands on Elías’ shoulders. Elías wished he could stop being a crybaby for once in his fucking life.

“I forgive you,” Severus told him, tone soft and Elías’ stupid lower lip began to tremble, nodding. “I understand that yesterday you were ridden with emotion. I spoke to the other Slytherins on the Quidditch Team and they were all devastated. Spirits were low, I had gravely insulted you and you felt lost. I understand.”

“Doesn’t make it right,” Elías sniffled miserably.

“But that is why you’re apologizing now and taking accountability, isn’t it?” Severus said so very calmly, making Elías’ heartrate slower, the Spaniard nodding before the potioneer brushed the underside of his eyes with careful thumbs. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m a hypocrite and I keep trying to be a pillar of morality for others when I’m barely able to control what I say and do,” Elías replied. “And it frustrates me so much that I _hurt_ you, because you were doing the right thing.”

“You’re not a pillar of morality, Elías,” Severus said, rolling his eyes fondly, his hands sliding from his shoulders to his elbows, pulling him closer so Elías would look at Severus in the eye as he spoke clearly. “You never were, to me. While it _is_ true that you’ve helped me… _care_ about quite a wide array of subjects that I did not even think of before, it doesn’t mean that I hold _your_ morality on a higher standard. You are human, after all, and still very young.”

Elías nodded, not knowing what else to say. Everything Severus had said was true and Elías could only drop his forehead against Severus’ chest, trying to calm down.

“…what I said really hurt you, didn’t it?” the other professor muttered.

Elías nodded again, sniffling, making Severus sigh deeply before his arms blessedly moved around Elías, holding him, the Astronomy professor gladly holding Severus around his middle with a whine.

“And it also hurt you that you yelled at me,” Severus interpreted.

“ _Ye-he-hes,_ ” Elías sobbed.

“Salazar, I thought you were still mad at me,” Severus let out an amused breath, his hand pressing gently between Elías’ shoulder blades. “I was worried that you’d come here to lecture me.”

“I do that a lot, don’t I?” Elías mumbled.

“Quite so,” Severus said dryly. “But I admit, most of the time I deserve it.”

“I’m sorry I’m so bossy around you,” Elías sighed, shoulders hunched.

“I wouldn’t say bossy,” Severus snorted. “Just overtly confident.”

Elías blinked, confused, looking up before he realized that others socialized him as a _man_ , making him sigh, “Right. Confident. Anyway, I – I’m sorry for yelling at you yesterday.”

“And I’m sorry for saying that you’re not a good wizard – you _are_ , let me make that clear,” Severus pulled back, watching Elías, frowning slightly. “I just meant – ah, I meant that wizards like Him or even Dumbledore couldn’t even attempt Time Magic. It’s… a realm of impossibilities and variables that we do not understand, Elías. And I need you to comprehend that there are some things that are truly out of your reach.”

Elías didn’t like it – didn’t like it _one bit_ but he ended up nodding. “Alright…”

“For your safety,” Severus added.

“Fine, yes,” Elías ran his hands through his hair, taking a deep breath. “Did… you say you went to talk with the Quidditch team?”

“They always need a pick-me-up,” Severus muttered, arms crossing. “When I went to the changing rooms, they were devastated. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my godson that defeated.”

“I saw him and Theodore _way_ late last night,” Elías told him, frowning. “Draco looked so sad. They had just come back from the kitchens with some comfort food.”

“Is that why we have five points less?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Elías slapped his arm gently. “Don’t scold me, they broke curfew.”

“Fine,” Severus rolled his eyes. “I’ll speak to him later. Right now, I truly am worried about Corban and what he must be thinking after that attempt from Pettigrew. Now everyone knows he’s alive – and everyone knows Black is innocent.”

Elías felt his stomach churn, “Narcissa –”

“She’s devastated,” Severus said, lip twitching downwards. “Although she won’t tell anyone about it.”

“Her cousin was wrongfully imprisoned, that would break anyone’s heart,” Elías murmured, rubbing his neck. “Fuck. _Shit_. She really does care about him.”

“She cares about every single one of her family,” Severus replied, gathering all the goodies for Corban in a bag and heading to his office, Elías following. “No matter what they’ve done, no matter whom they love.”

“Andromeda,” Elías muttered, wincing. “ _Shit_.”

“She hasn’t spoken to her sister since she got married,” Severus told him, waving his wand at the fireplace to extinguish the flames that had been dancing there. “They were close.”

“That’s awful,” Elías whispered, apprehension gripping his heart. “To know that Sirius is innocent –”

“Changes nothing,” Severus cut in, making Elías look up at him, the two of them exchanging gazes. “After all, he’s still a blood traitor.”

“Fucking – _purism_ ,” Elías curled his lip, disgusted.

Severus only hummed, already used to this but Elías felt like it was _ridiculous_. Bigotry only tore families apart and made people feel less than human.

“As I said before,” Severus began, making Elías look at him, at his worried, dark eyes. “If I tell you to leave, you are to immediately leave the room we’re in. Go to the drawing room, living room, I do not care as long as you exit wherever Corban currently is. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded, heart skipping a beat. He could see Corban’s twitching body on the floor whenever he closed his eyelids. He tried not to, he truly did, because while he was worried about Corban, he knew the rest of his friends had probably hounded him already about it. Elías didn’t want to bother him but if he knew Severus was going to check on him…

“Let’s go,” Severus urged, disappearing into the colored flames as the floo powder fell on his shoes, Elías following after him, knot in his throat when he stepped out of the chimney and saw the same glum, unkept, depressing drawing room as Friday. No change to it.

“It’s… dark,” Elías stated, a bit dumbly, looking over at the drawn curtains. He could barely see but before he could pull out his wand, Severus had it out, casting a quick, nonverbal _lumos_. Elías blinked for a moment, adjusting to the light, looking around and expecting a mess but no, it was just… dusty and unused. “Why –”

“Follow me,” Severus simply said, walking away from the hallway Elías had gone through on Friday and into another section of the house, Manor, whatever it was.

There was a cold draft coming from somewhere and Elías shivered, looking at the windows that hadn’t been covered by the curtains, finding the rain, always the rain. He followed Severus’ sure steps through the vast, tall, cold empty house and wondered how anyone could live alone in a place like this, how _Corban_ could live in a place like this. He pulled out his own wand and let his own _lumos_ illuminate the way, their steps echoing.

Corban, who laughed loudly with his head thrown back, who cracked jokes with Elías and Avery, who slapped Severus’ back and pushed the man further than any of them could. It made something tangle inside Elías as they climbed the stairs up what almost felt like a tower, his eyes moving to the pictures hung on the decaying walls.

He saw a woman. A beautiful, dark-haired woman with pale skin and bright brown eyes, her hand on Corban’s, looking so very _tiny_. She was so short, so small. There were wedding pictures, pictures in the park, by the sea in some Italian town. Pictures with Sienna, Severus, Avery, Lucius, Narcissa, William, Felix, Kiera, Harvey…

Pictures with Bellatrix Lestrange. Pictures with Antonin Dolohov. Pictures of happiness, untouched by the horrors they’d performed or the life they’d led.

Elías stopped next to a picture, feeling his chest hollow out at the sight. It moved in a way that had Elías almost reaching out to touch it, in case it was in his head. It always startled him so much, whenever he could see the attitude of a picture taken in the moment, and this one… this one was a glance into the past that didn’t involve his Sight at all.

“That’s our last year at Hogwarts,” Severus spoke up, making Elías swallow hard.

“You look…” he couldn’t describe it, his eyes tracking Severus’ strangely different eyes in the picture, the way he easily smiled as Philippa leaned into him, turning to laugh with Corban and… “Is that –”

“Regulus Black,” Severus nodded, looking over the picture without emotion. Or with the intent to not have any emotion as he glanced at two ghosts on the wall but by now Elías knew him and his expression and the way he hid emotions.

“You look… close,” Elías whispered, seeing Regulus hover over everyone, lanky and smirking, elbow resting on Severus’ shoulder. Same grey eyes, same nose, same hairline and jaw shape as Sirius. Gods, he was different but _so_ similar to Sirius at the same time.

“He was one of my best friends,” Severus told him and Elías felt it like a punch in the gut, turning to Severus, who kept staring at the picture. “And so was Philippa.”

Elías looked away from the picture and into others, seeing Severus in so many, seeing Regulus in _so_ many but Philippa above all, her smile and laughter all over the walls.

“This is torture,” Elías breathed, eyes wide. “This is a torture chamber –”

They heard a wail.

Elías’ head snapped up the stairs, heart breaking at the sobs echoing through the empty, dusty house of torture that was the Yaxley Manor. Severus would’ve looked almost unfazed if it hadn’t been for the tightness in his jaw, still watching that same picture, knuckles white around his wand.

“Sometimes I wonder,” Severus whispered, a slow confession that Elías wasn’t sure he was meant to hear. “If we were better off dead.”

Elías felt such hurt and surprise at the words that he couldn’t even answer, recoiling at them, hand gripping the railing of the stairs, freezing metal. Severus didn’t glance at him, turning on his heels and rushing up at stairs, leaving Elías behind to go towards Corban’s cries.

For a moment, he didn’t know what to do, standing in that stairway full of ghosts of the past, watching that happy place where the picture of their youth surely took Corban. _Death is a part of life, a part of war_ , Remus had said but Elías felt like all of it was _wrong_ , like it was… it didn’t lock into place. It wasn’t meant to be like _this_.

He left the stairway, suddenly unable to look at Regulus in the eye, wanting to get away from that place fast, heart beating way too fast. The cries he heard were getting louder and louder until he finally reached the top, seeing a hallway with no pictures and a single door at the end, cracked open. The multitude of windows lining the left wall did nothing to light it up so Elías held his wand high, slowly walking down the hallway and realizing that on the right there _were_ doors, just… covered by wallpaper. Chipping, falling away wallpaper.

Slowly, Elías lifted one hand, pulling at the corner of one to look at the door, quickly drawing back when he saw the snake and skull carved in it, swallowing hard, pulling away, starting to shake when he heard a crash from the door at the end of the hallway.

It took him a while to reach it, if only because he realized that he was scared of what he’d find, hand pushing at the oak door at last, hearing thunder rumble before a scared yell tore through. And as Elías entered the nursery, horror washing over him, Corban sobbed harder into the chipped crib in the middle of the room, tools spread around him along with a single, empty bottle of bourbon.

“No – _no!_ ” Corban choked out, trembling hands trying to grab at the sharp tools while Severus attempted to pull him away. “I can fix it – I can _f-fix it! Severus,_ please, please, p- _please!_ ” he screamed. “Please l-let me _fix it_ , I’ve to fix it, _Jane needs it_ , please, _please_ –”

There was blood caked on his knuckles, his hair was in disarray and Elías had never seen such a desperate look on a man before, freezing in the doorway while Severus gently but firmly pulled Corban away from the antique crib.

“Corban, you’ve to let go,” Severus told him quietly. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“ _NO!_ ” he insisted, scrambling for a paintbrush while Severus sat on the floor, arms around Corban from behind, keeping him still. Thunder crashed again and Corban slapped his hands over his ears, crying out. “Stop it, stop it, _stop it!_ ”

“Leave,” Severus told Elías, glaring deeply, the muggleborn rooted to the spot, _lumos_ stuttering at the tip of his wand.

Thunder again and this time, Elías heard the same crash – a picture falling from the wall from Corban’s volatile magic, making the room tremble and groan. The man looked the same as when he’d had the pain of the Dark Mark running through him, violently shaking and fighting, drunken eyes roaming from the crib to his tools frantically.

“ _ELÍAS, LEAVE!_ ” Severus snapped, holding Corban tightly and Elías turned around, closed the door and doubled over; breathing hard, hands over his mouth, wand falling to the cold floor.

* * *

The house groaned and rumbled with every clap of thunder and every cry of Corban Yaxley. Elías felt it in his bones, like playing bass guitar, sitting on the dusty couch of the drawing room and staring at the windows to the outside. The rain was the only thing he could see and he wondered why it followed them so much, the grey and cold.

Was this the reason why he’d been absorbed into Voldemort’s cult? His status as orphan, his brainwashed friends, Slytherin House ostracized by everyone else? Such a cold and empty home… had he papered over the doors of the ones he’d lost? The ones he’d wanted to forget? Had he been unable to paper over the nursery he never used? Had he changed bedrooms or had he simply let the imprint of Philippa’s body remain on the other side of the bed?

Dust arouse when Elías put a hand on the couch and he turned his palm to look at the grime, chest caving in, feeling the need to cry his fucking heart out but instead swallowing it down and taking a few deep breaths, trying to control his overflowing emotions. He curled up for a moment, eyes shut, head between his knees until he could finally think clearly instead of the never-ending mantra of _oh Gods, oh Gods, oh Gods_ that he wanted to let out.

Slowly, Elías stood from the couch, pulling his hair back into a whatever ponytail at the base of his neck, uncaring for decorum when Yaxley was still screaming at the top of his lungs in the upper part of his home. Elías clenched his hands into fists, breathing in for eight seconds then breathing out before taking his wand out, pulling back all the curtains.

Cold, unfeeling light flooded in, showing Elías the truly decaying state of the drawing room and, with surprise, he realized that there was a painting – a still painting – of Philippa over the chimney. She stood in a field of tall grass, a parasol over her shoulder, like a Renoir painting or one of the Monet’s he’d seen yesterday with Remus. Her smile was kind and loving and welcoming and Elías thought that very probably she’d been looking at Corban.

What a mess. What a miserable mess. Not only had Voldemort ruined the lives of his enemies, he’d also ruined the lives of his allies, his followers, those he’d promised only good things. He wondered just how many people truly regretted everything and had realized that they’d been wrong, outside of the bubble of Slytherins that he’d met and gotten along with. Did Bellatrix ever regret it? Did the Carrows? Dolohov? _Greyback_?

How many of them thought it was too late to draw back? How many of them felt like they were in too deep and there was no way for them to turn away? How many lives would’ve been saved if there had been an attempt to speak to those Slytherins as teenagers instead of pushing them aside, calling them evil with purpose?

Elías cleaned the dust. He cleaned the curtains, the couches, the other furniture. He opened the windows and let the stale air out, even if it was a bit cold and wet. He straightened frames of paintings on the drawing room and made a small sunflower bloom in the empty vase over the coffee table, sitting back down when he was done. It wasn’t much but it was the least he could do for Corban.

Just as he sat, he saw the chimney light up and Elías stood rapidly, eyes wide, seeing Narcissa enter with a thermos in her hands, dark bags under her eyes, which immediately went to Elías, widening. “…Elías?”

“Hi, Narcissa,” Elías greeted softly.

“What – what are you doing here?” she breathed, looking scared and Elías paused.

“I came to check–”

The chimney lit up once more and, to Elías’ horror, Amycus Carrow walked out of the chimney, looking bored until he found Elías in the same room.

The silence that took over was deafening, Elías’ hand tight in his wand, blood roaring in his ears as adrenaline began to pump through his veins. Narcissa was absolutely frozen, her hands tight on the thermos while Amycus’ face began to _twist_ into an expression of pure hatred.

“ _You_ ,” he hissed slowly, hand pushing Narcissa to the side. “You dirty little fucking _mudblood bitch_ –”

“Step any closer and I’ll fuck you up,” Elías warned, narrowing his eyes, looking for ways to escape quickly. His best bet was the chimney but it was right behind Carrow. He’d had to trick him or throw him the further away he could from there and hope he wasn’t stupid enough to follow him to Hogwarts.

“Fuck _me_ up?” he snarled, Narcissa gaping her mouth like a fish, trying to come up with anything. “I’m going to fucking _break you_.”

The first spell came from him and Elías used the only lesson he’d had with Severus so far to throw the best _protego_ of his fucking life, rolling out of an impending curse next, Narcissa screaming as the room was lit in angry, vibrant lights from Carrow’s wand.

“STOP, _STOP IT_!” she begged, crying out, moving between them, her own wand out to redirect one of Carrow’s curses to the wall, leaving a scorch mark. “There’s enough thunder to scare Corban, can’t you have a little fucking _sympathy_ , Amycus?!”

“He jailed my fucking sister!” the Deatheater spat, Elías wanting to spit at his face.

“He saved Corban’s life!” Narcissa cried out. “Whatever you two have going, just keep it out of this house! He has _enough_ with the thunder, now you’ve to throw curses left and right?!”

“You’re fucking lucky Narcissa’s here,” Carrow hissed at Elías, pointing his wand at him, Elías locking his body in case he threw another spell. “If we were alone, I would skin you alive, you cunt.”

“ _Amycus_ ,” Narcissa warned.

“I’ll come see Yaxley another time, _then_ , Malfoy,” Carrow narrowed his eyes at her, grabbing a fistful of floo powder and disappearing through the floo, making Elías’ knees a little weak, hearing steps running through the hall.

“What on _Earth_ is going on here?!” Severus called angrily, walking in only to see Narcissa, a few scorch marks and Elías clutching his wand, pale. “Cissa –”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Narcissa asked him, furious, Elías turning to her with surprise as she shoved the thermos at Severus. “Amycus was going to _report_.”

“Amycus –” Severus’ eyes went to Elías, the way he shook and he passed Narcissa to grip the back of Elías’ neck, worried. “Are you alright? What happened?”

“I used a full _protego_ , the uh, right way,” Elías told him, giggling hysterically, hand rubbing his cheek. “Like you told me.”

“Fuck,” Severus muttered, looking around. “I thought he was coming on Monday.”

“Change of plans, he followed me from the French Embassy,” Narcissa sighed deeply. “But again, why is Elías here, Severus?”

“I wanted to… check on Corban,” Elías muttered.

“I didn’t know he’d spiraled again,” Severus told her and Elías swallowed.

“I thought I’d – I must’ve forgotten to send you a letter,” Narcissa rubbed her temple, looking exhausted. “Look, I just – came to make sure he has food in the kitchen, alright? How is he?”

“Sleeping. Stable for now but he was triggered by the thunder,” Severus explained, Elías’ stomach rolling. _Triggered_. Corban had PTSD, probably. “I sent a quick letter to St Mungo’s.”

“Alright, I’ll cover the cost,” Narcissa nodded, looking at the couches before frowning. “Did you clean up?”

“I did,” Elías said quietly and Narcissa turned to him, her lips pursed. “I’m sorry if I overstepped –”

“No, Elías,” she muttered. “That’s very kind of you, it’s just… well, he doesn’t use this room much.”

“Doesn’t mean it should be covered in dust,” Elías sheathed his wand, touching his wrist carefully. It’d been hurting a bit since he hit it on Saturday morning but he didn’t feel it truly hurt until now, when he’d used it for a fucking _fight_. “…you mentioned you want to grab some food for his kitchen?”

Narcissa nodded, watching him and Severus for a moment.

“Let’s go, then,” Elías sighed, pulling his hair out of the ponytail and into a kind of proper braid. “I want to help as much as I can.”

“I’ll stay and take care of Corban,” Severus told them both, worriedly looking at the mark on the wall left by one of Carrow’s curses.

* * *

Going grocery shopping with Narcissa Malfoy was strange.

Not only because they were in a magical town and it felt like being thrusted back in time, in the 1800s or so, horses moving carriages around and apothecaries and potions shops freely roaming on the main street but also because Elías had thought that Narcissa wouldn’t know how to go grocery shopping.

She had money not to go and could afford not knowing how to cook, after all, but she suggested a big pot of pumpkin soup, telling Elías that it was Corban’s favorite. Elías simply followed her, carrying most of the weight in the bags and letting her hold the umbrella spell as they walked back up the hill to the somber Yaxley Manor.

“What’s the name of this town?” Elías asked her.

“Bluehill,” she replied. “In a few weeks, this whole town will be covered in blue hyacinths. Every year, like clockwork.”

“That’s very beautiful,” Elías murmured, looking around, frowning a little. “Do… does Corban have friends in this town?”

“Not anymore,” Narcissa said quietly.

“Oh,” Elías muttered.

“I grew up here,” she added and Elías turned to her, surprised. “Me and most of the Black House, actually.”

“I didn’t know,” Elías told her, giving a small smile. “Quiet and nice. I bet you all had a lot of fun.”

“Sometimes we did,” she smiled back but it was sad. “Aunt Walburga didn’t like it much.”

Elías was in the town where Sirius had very probably been born. That knowledge hit him like a train, slamming into his side, thinking of Sirius watching the hyacinths, playing with Narcissa, Bella and Andromeda, with Regulus and maybe even Corban himself. Narcissa had grown with Regulus, too, he’d been important to her. All of them were important to her.

“They moved around the time Regulus stated Hogwarts,” she recalled and Elías didn’t know why she was telling him this but he listened, shifting his grip on the bags. “To London. And I moved away to France when I got married to Lucius.”

“Sometimes I forget you’re a Malfoy now,” Elías chuckled and Narcissa gave him a surprised but delighted laugh.

“A lot of people think the opposite,” she murmured. “They forget I’m a Black.”

“Hard to,” Elías said, shrugging a bit as they began to climb the stairs to the Yaxley Manor. “Those grey eyes, you know. And the nose and moles. You all have them.”

“We do,” Narcissa whispered, watching Elías with a little frown. “Draco…”

“He’s alright,” Elías told her, trying to be calm and a little encouraging. “It was a bad loss but it doesn’t mean he won’t get back up.”

“I know. I just worry,” Narcissa looked down at the bags, sighing.

“That’s what mothers do, after all,” Elías smiled at her, making Narcissa relax a bit.

“Yes, it’s – it’s what we do indeed,” she muttered, opening the front doors and dissipating the umbrella spell, “You carried all those bags from the other side of town and up the hill with your bare hands. No spells.”

“Ah, I suppose I did?” Elías looked down, a bit embarrassed, feeling a bit warmer inside the Manor as the doors closed, Narcissa staring at the bags, looking thoughtful.

“Do you not mind?” she asked, finally glancing up at Elías, who blinked. “Don’t you… think magic solves those pesky problems like weight?”

“I don’t think they’re problems,” Elías replied. “I think they’re part of life for someone able-bodied like me. I could use magic, sure, but I’m used to carrying bags and luggage and the like with my hands, my own strength. Just like I’m used to having a ladder at home or baking and cooking myself. It’s just… part of muggle life,” Elías shrugged. “And I quite like it, a lot of times, the things that are… pesky problems to wizards.”

“I thought…” Narcissa cocked her head a bit. “I thought muggleborns were glad to have magic they could use to change the way they go through life. Magic is easier.”

“It _is_ easier,” Elías admitted. “But again, for someone who isn’t disabled… it’s not really a necessity. If I’m in a rush, alright, I’ll use magic. Otherwise, again, it’s part of life for me.”

“And are all muggleborns like this?” she asked, curious.

“I don’t know,” Elías smiled, shrugging, moving through the entrance. “You should ask the next muggleborn you meet.”

“I don’t know any other muggleborns,” Narcissa hummed, guiding Elías towards the kitchens, so big that it was almost dizzying. This place was too _big_ , too _much_ for just one man, it was insane. “I only know you.”

“Maybe you should meet more muggleborns, then,” Elías said, smirking.

“Now you’re teasing me,” she scolded a bit, chuckling.

“Maybe so,” Elías looked around, frowning a bit. “Feels a little unused…”

“He used to cook,” Narcissa told him, sighing as she opened the bags and unpacked the groceries. “Before Pippa was killed.”

“Right,” Elías swallowed. “The stairway…”

“I know,” Narcissa said quietly, eyes on the vegetables. “We know. We all know.”

“Shouldn’t he leave this place?” Elías asked, just as softly. “Not – not that it’s any of my business, I really don’t want to speak where I’m not wanted but it almost feels like he’d doing it on purpose, putting all… all those pictures there.”

“He does it to avoid the nursery,” she explained.

“Philippa was…?” Elías didn’t dare finish the sentence, seeing Narcissa nod. “Who knew –”

“The Dark Lord knew,” she answered what Elías had been trying not to ask so directly and Elías wanted to _shrivel_ into nothing, nauseous, gripping the counter for a moment. “She betrayed us.”

“She did?” Elías asked, pretending not to know.

“She was a mole for the Order of the Phoenix,” she whispered. “And when she was caught there was no mercy.”

“What… what about Regulus?” Elías asked quietly.

“He was missing in action,” Narcissa croaked, hand moving to rub at her eyes discreetly. “Apparently he had a solo mission. His body was never found. Even the Dark Lord mourned his passing.”

“He went missing?” Elías’ eyes widened.

“He wasn’t… his mark was unresponsive,” she explained, swallowing. “Dead.”

“I’m sorry, Narcissa,” Elías told her sincerely. “I’m so sorry –”

“It happened a long time ago, it’s alright,” she assured, moving away to get a pot to start the soup. “We were all younger. Fools, deluded by a need for glory and change. We thought we’d change the world. And we…we did.”

She cleaned her hands, rolling her sleeves back and Elías saw the skull and serpent in her arm, above the pale blue veins of her skin. He wondered if it hurt now. And he wondered how she felt about Pettigrew, about Sirius; did she want to see him? Did Sirius want to see her? Had Sirius been able to go to Regulus’ funeral? Had they seen each other there or had the last time been in the battlefield?

“He’s stable,” Severus announced as he walked in, a smear of blood on his cheek the shape of fingers and Elías’ breath hitched at the sight, keeping on a leash the horrified expression he also let overcome his face. “What –”

“You’ve blood on your face,” Narcissa told him quietly, taking a kitchen rag and wetting it before moving to her friend, gently brushing it away, her fingers brushing Severus’ hair back, the man almost closing his eyes at the touch. “How did it go?”

“Badly. But he agreed to detox,” he whispered, clearing his throat. “He wants to talk to Elías.”

Elías blinked and Narcissa paused, just as surprised, “…he does?” Elías asked.

“Yes,” Severus took a deep breath, seemingly calming down. “Let me guide you to his rooms?”

“Thank you, please,” Elías nodded, stepping closer as Narcissa pulled back, worriedly watching Severus. The man didn’t look at Elías in the eye, simply turning on his heel and walking off, Elías stumbling after him.

They went to the right, this time, further into the Yaxley Manor. Elías saw more paintings but they were impersonal, of elder people, probably other Yaxley’s. None… none of them were Asian. It made Elías think of Walburga and he wondered if Corban had gone through the same as Sirius. He wanted to believe he hadn’t, just for a sliver of hope that Corban had had a happy childhood

“Sev?” Elías dared to ask, breaking the silence over the roaring rain against the windows. “Is… is he going to be alright?”

“No,” Severus replied, dead serious, making Elías’ stomach twist. “He’s been battling alcoholism for over ten years. At this point I don’t think he can stop himself. If I keep thinking he will, I will keep losing focus and letting him run rampant when I should’ve known he would _spiral_ and been _here_ for it –”

“ _Severus_ ,” Elías gripped his arm, turning him around, eyes widening when he saw the raw, unfiltered _guilt_ in his eyes. “Oh, _Sev_ , _cielo_ , no, _no_ …”

He pulled the potions master close, holding him tightly, Severus’ hands gripping Elías’ back, breathing so hard that Elías was sure he was having a panic attack.

“Sev, breathe in, eight seconds,” Elías directed, hands rubbing the back of Severus’ skull, hearing him audibly swallow before breathing in, Elías following with him. “Now hold it for eight,” he guided, counting softly, Severus’ nose pressed hard against the juncture of Elías’ neck and shoulder, his wet breathing against Elías’ collarbones. He felt moisture where Severus’ eyes were. “And now breathe out for eight more seconds, that’s it.”

Severus complied and, slowly, little by little, Elías felt the tension in his shoulders recede until he was breathing normally against him, now clutching Elías’ sweater gently.

“Thank you,” he rasped.

“You’re not the reason Corban spiraled,” Elías told him firmly. “This is a matter of addiction and mental illness and it’s _okay_ , Severus, it is _not_ your fault. What he needs is professional help. He’ll be taken to St Mungo’s and when he leaves detox, we can look for different ways to help him, alright?”

“Like what?” Severus croaked. “We’ve tried it _all_.”

“We’ll look at it from a different approach. I’ll call a few acquaintances, it’ll be okay,” Elías told him, soothing and gentle. “Let’s just get through today. Let’s help him feel better, yes?”

“Yes,” Severus breathed in, eyes closing for a moment before he finally pulled back, straightening his posture and brushing his clothes of wrinkles, running nimble fingers through his hair and sighing deeply. “Forgive me, I… lost my decorum.”

“It’s understandable,” Elías murmured.

“I don’t think he’s a lost case, far from it,” Severus said very clearly, enunciating every word, making sure that Elías knew. “I think he’s simply got too many reasons to relapse. He does it, every time. Life doesn’t make it easy for him, neither does this house or the frames or… everyone else.”

“You mean his group of friends? You guys?” Elías asked softly, walking alongside him.

“No, I mean – Carrow and the like,” Severus pursed his lips. “Unfortunately, Christmas Invitations means putting their names on the list.”

“And they’re… not like you guys,” Elías guessed. “Who regret it.”

“Who know we made mistakes,” Severus finished, making a face. “They still believe in… well. You know Carrow and his sister. Or _Bella_.”

“Right,” Elías cleared his throat. “Can’t you just tell them to fuck off?”

“We have shared too many secrets,” Severus told him, making Elías frown. “One false step and everything falls for us. Our status, our reputation, our money, our safety, our family, loved ones, friends, our jobs…”

“That’s horrible,” Elías breathed, eyes wide.

“It is how it is,” Severus shrugged, unfazed, turning the corner towards a lit corridor, much more used and less stale than the rest of the house, even if the carpet was a bit dirty and the wallpaper was still peeling and chipping. “It is the life we lead.”

“What about premeditated murder?” Elías suggested, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Too messy,” Severus made a face of disgust. “And a lot of them have personal ties with us that make it hard for murder to happen.”

“Right,” Elías muttered, eyes on the carpet, breathing out slowly. He’d only been kidding but now he realized that there was a bit of a difference when it came to wizarding Nazis like the Carrows or Bella. He wanted to think that some of them regretted and could change but after that incident with Amycus Carrow…

“Here,” Severus stopped in front of two double doors, sighing. “He’s in bed and if you could avoid leaving it, it’d be for the best. Would you like for me to wait outside?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded, looking at Severus. “I’ve never dealt with anyone with PTSD and I’d rather have you as a backup before he could get hurt.”

Severus watched him, looking almost startled before he lifted a hand and pulled on Elías’ ear, making him yelp, then laugh. “What was that for?!”

“For taking me off-guard,” Severus replied, the shadow of a smile on his lips, making Elías beam at him. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Elías muttered before knocking on the door, speaking a bit louder. “Corban? It’s me, Elías.”

“…come in,” he heard, voice shot and Elías glanced at Severus one last time before entering the room, closing the door behind him.

The room was overly spacious but the curtains were mostly drawn, a few candles lit to let Elías see. There was blood red velvet all over and Elías saw the vanity, the delicate silken robe gathering dust over the bench in front of it, the multiple pictures, the perfectly made bed next to Corban, who laid on his back against the pillows, drinking from the thermos Narcissa had left Severus before they went grocery shopping.

“You know,” Elías went for light, moving over to his bedside. “Even though you’ve just had a mental breakdown, gotta say you look _much_ better than when _I_ have it.”

“What can I say?” Corban rasped, managing a morose smile at Elías. “I make misery look good.”

“I think you just always look good,” Elías told him, gently grabbing a chair from the side and bringing it to Corban’s bedside, sitting on it, giving him a small smile. “Hey, Corby.”

“Hope that doesn’t stick,” he let out a huff of a laugh, looking exhausted, head falling against the pillow and his smile slowly dropped, watching Elías. “You must think me a disaster.”

“Nah,” Elías shook his head, elbows on his knees, looking at Yaxley. “Dude, I’ve tried to kill myself three times, like – honestly, you think I’m going to judge you? I cry eight times a week _at least_.”

“Oh,” Corban mumbled, hands falling limp at his sides.

“I had a drug problem at nineteen,” Elías added.

“ _Oh_ ,” Corban understood, suddenly relaxing.

“I got out early but I know the itch, the habit, the detox,” Elías explained, shrugging. “Honestly, you’ve been doing this for a while and you still seem pretty sane to me, yeah?”

“I don’t feel sane,” Corban rubbed his face, grunting. “I actually feel like I’m going _mad_.”

“Are you going to St Mungo’s?” Elías asked.

“Of course I am,” Corban sighed, looking at him. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Elías said, honest. “I only wanted to check on you. I was worried.”

“You saved my life,” he murmured.

“That’s a bit of a stretch, I feel,” Elías rubbed the back of his neck, a bit uncomfortable. “I just… thought of you, man. You’re my friend, everyone else has their shit and I don’t know them as much but you, I do know. And I like you and you’re funny and witty and _great_. I value our friendship, I value _you._ So I uh, I got worried.”

Corban’s red eyes went a bit shiny and he quickly rubbed at them, rasping out, “That’s… very k-kind of you, Elías.”

“Narcissa and I went grocery shopping,” Elías told Corban, smiling and moving closer. “And we got a bunch of food to fill your kitchen. So much pumpkin!”

“I love pumpkin,” Corban let out a tired smile. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Elías said, about to stand when Corban reached out, grabbing his wrist.

“I don’t mean –” he winced. “You… didn’t have to tell me the personal stuff.”

“I know,” the Spaniard easily replied, looking at Corban in the eye. “I know I didn’t. But I need you to know that I understand better than anyone that recovery isn’t a linear path and that a lot of times, we can fall. You have _a lot_ of people who care about you, buddy. And you just gained another so – you’re stuck with me and my annoying friendship.”

He patted his shoulder, grinning at Corban and watched him raise his hands to cover his face, laughing wetly.

“Alright,” Corban said, voice sore. “Alright, Fernández. You can stay.”

“Thanks,” Elías patted the bed. “You good with me leaving?”

“Yeah, I… I need to take a nap,” he confessed, sighing deeply. “Is Narcissa worried?”

“She’s always worried,” Elías replied and Corban let out a tiny smile.

“Yeah, she always is,” he muttered. “Call her up? Please? I want… I want to talk to her.”

“You got it,” Elías nodded, looking over at the empty glass of water before filling it with his wand. “Stay hydrated and rest up. I’ll be here all morning, very probably.”

“Alright.”

“Rest,” Elías murmured before finally leaving the room, finding Severus watching the door vigilantly, his shoulders relaxing as Elías appeared and closed it behind him. “Hey.”

“How did it go?” Severus asked, approaching Elías, so very worried as he put a hand on Elías’ shoulder and checked him. “You don’t even look like you cried.”

“I didn’t,” Elías told him. “He’s just tired. And wanted to apologize. I let him know that it was alright and that I’m here to stay. I’m his friend now, so… yeah.”

Severus breathed in, looking at the door before his eyes drifted down to Elías.

“You saved his life,” he said.

“Not this again,” Elías whined. “Look, Avery, Kiera and Felix were there –”

“The Dark Mark seeps blood,” Severus told him and Elías’ jaw clicked shut, his eyes like saucers, watching Severus speak. “The curse is tied to our bloodstream. When the Dark Lord needs blood, he’ll take it. And when he’s had enough of our blood, he spills it. The Mark is designed to dry our bodies out or make it expel blood, which is why we bled so thoroughly.”

“That’s fucking _horrifying_ ,” Elías’ voice broke. “What the _fuck_ –”

“You did save his life,” Severus told him. “We didn’t need a healer, we needed a curse-breaker. And your sister happened to show you exactly what you needed. In Hogwarts there’s Dumbledore but here in Bluehill there are only healers.”

“Talk about chance, huh?” Elías choked.

“You saved my best friend’s life,” Severus insisted, hands tight on Elías’ arms and Elías realized that he was moving closer when his back touched the door, heart starting to beat rapidly. Severus was looking so intensely at him, so utterly close and Elías felt about to have a heart attack. “I don’t… know how to properly thank you.” Severus said.

“You don’t –” Elías swallowed past the knot in his throat. “Severus, there’s nothing to thank, I did it out of my own volition. For _free_.”

“Nothing is free,” Severus replied, caging Elías against the door, eyes roaming his face. “Name the price, Elías. There is little I like in debt.”

“You’re not indebted to me,” Elías breathed.

“I beg to differ,” Severus whispered.

 _Kiss me_ , Elías wanted to beg, his nails scraping against the wood, emotions running through his body a thousand miles an hour. _Kiss me and do not stop_.

“Sev, I –” Elías muttered, unable to meet his eyes, watching his collarbones, breath short. “I… I –”

“Just _tell me_ ,” Severus leaned even closer and Elías knew it was a pressuring and intimation tactic, that it didn’t mean anything romantic but his knees were _weak_.

“I…” Elías licked over his dry lips, finally able to look up and nearly falling to the floor when he met Severus’ eyes. “I want to keep the dueling lessons over the summer.”

“Deal,” Severus easily replied, moving away, Elías stuttering out a breath with wide eyes, making smirk. “See? It wasn’t that hard to say, was it?”

“Why must you _always_ do the cagey thing when you ask me about stuff?” Elías mumbled, patting his heated face. “I can’t _stand_ the pressure of it.”

“Which is exactly why I do it,” Severus rolled his eyes fondly, starting to walk down the hall. “You’ve trouble asking for things. They must be offered to you. But I’m not willing to do that – I want you to _ask_. If you won’t be assertive, I’ll _make_ you assertive.”

“You’re so bossy,” Elías said, nudging him with a laugh when Severus gave him an unimpressed look. “I just want to keep the dueling lessons.”

“It’s a good idea,” Severus hummed, walking down the stairs where they could hear Narcissa cooking. “…by then, Potter will be living with you, won’t he?”

“Hopefully,” Elías sighed, nodding. “Does that bother you?”

“Yes,” Severus was honest, if anything, about it. Elías hummed.

“Well, better get used to it,” he told Severus. “Because he’ll be part of my family.”

“Of course he’ll be,” Severus muttered, taking a deep breath. “Very well.”

“Very well,” Elías nodded, turning to him. “Hey.”

“Yes?” Severus cocked an eyebrow, stopping as well.

“I’m glad you and Corban are alive,” Elías said quietly, hand moving to Severus’ wrist, gently squeezing. “I truly, honestly am.”

“I know,” Severus whispered, looking back at Elías. “I truly, honestly know.” 


	68. Maybeginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hopefully, you're all still here after such a heavy chapter. I've decided to use this one with a bit of a lighter ending and some wholesomeness from the Professor Trio!
> 
> Trigger Warnings in this chapter:  
> \- Mention of pregnancy  
> \- Mention of death  
> \- Mention of Corban's alcoholism and therapy  
> \- Discussion of academia and teenage hopelessness/disenchantment  
> \- Mild mention of violence (punching nazis)

In the whirlwind of April, Elías felt like he barely had time for anything, much less give _In Other Times_ by Cassandra Trelawney the attention it deserved.

He wished he could give it some of his time but between reviewing the kids’ appeal for Buckbeak, making sure he had all the necessary paperwork in case the adoption went through, restarting his dueling lessons, starting his alchemy lessons, going back to therapy _and_ on top of that, start working with Fillius over the Opening Ceremony for the TriWizard Tournament, Elías was absolutely swamped.

It was only around the end of April when he finally found himself with _some_ time in his hands, right after Severus’ lesson, realizing that on Monday the N.E.W.T.s would begin and he would officially be free of Seventh Year lessons.

“I’m exhausted,” Elías confessed quietly, helping Severus move the different metals he’d been showcasing to make a point about the connection between magic and the materials used to conduct it.

“You’ve been quite busy,” Severus agreed, glancing over at him. “Careful not to burn out, Elías.”

“The Seventh Years are done so I’ll have some free time now,” Elías muttered, suddenly pausing, feeling a soft sadness in him. “Oh, I won’t see them next year…”

“They’re adults now,” Severus pointed out. “So no. They’ll go get jobs or continue their education somewhere else.”

“I’ll miss them,” Elías mumbled, frowning a bit at the copper in his hands, sighing. “Liam and Marcus and Jane and everyone… I hope it goes well for them. I hope they’ve a really good life.”

“You’re getting morose,” Severus warned him, taking the copper from his hands and looking amusedly at Elías, his other hand pulling on Elías’ ear a bit. “Do not. Those kids have to move on and live their own lives, after all.”

“You’re right,” Elías sighed, nodding, running a hand through his hair and tapping a piece of Damascus steel with his nails, thoughtful. “You know, we haven’t had dinner together in a while.”

“Indeed,” Severus hummed.

“And it’s Friday,” Elías added.

“Mhmm,” Severus finished putting everything away, including the steel in Elías’ hands and closed the doors of the closet, turning around to watch him. “Have you ever had chicken Tikka Masala?”

“Yes, and I love it,” Elías grinned widely at him, feeling his shoulders immediately relax, thinking of some white wine and a relaxing evening with Severus in his kitchen. “My place or yours?”

“Well, I’ve got all the ingredients,” Severus hummed. “So mine.”

“Alright,” Elías smiled before he paused. “Corban is still on detox, right?”

“Yes,” Severus nodded, starting to close everything down in the dungeons, putting empty cauldrons away as well as a few tools. “He still has two weeks left. He’ll be back around the 12th of May.”

“Oh, that’s not too far away,” Elías grinned widely. “I haven’t visited in like a week or so, how’s he been doing?”

“Very well, actually,” Severus’ lips twitched up slightly. “He’s optimistic. And if I am honest, so am I.”

“That’s good!” Elías felt relief running through him, nodding slowly. “That’s so good, that is _so_ good. Alright. No, I was just asking because I thought it’d be nice to get some dinner with him.”

“Sienna is thinking of making a small dinner for when he does,” Severus said and Elías thought of the tall, menacing woman that was Sienna Zabini, swallowing. “If you’d like to join us, I don’t think most would mind.”

“I’ll think about it,” Elías told him a bit dryly and Severus smirked, finally putting out the torches of the dungeon and opening the door of his office.

“Shall we?” he asked, looking at Elías.

“To Spinner’s End, it is,” Elías waltzed in.

* * *

“Do I smell Indian, angel?”

“Damn right you do,” Elías grinned as he walked into Sirius’ room, dinner in hand before he paused, seeing Remus snoring softly into the pillows, curled up against Sirius’ side. “Oh shit.”

“He was so fucking tired,” Sirius explained, voice quiet. “Came over to talk and fell asleep mid-conversation.”

“It’s been a bit rough with the Seventh Years,” Elías explained, sitting down carefully on the bed, legs crossed, giving Sirius his tupper full of rise and chicken Tikka Masala. “Sev and I made dinner so – enjoy it. It’s really good.”

“He’d be pissed if he knew I was eating this,” Sirius snickered, using the fork to look at it, smiling softly. “I really missed Indian.”

“If you want, I could bring you more,” Elías suggested, nudging his knee and his hand fell on Remus’ head carefully, brushing his hair, looking over his face. Last full moon had treated him kindly but there was a blue moon in May and Elías didn’t know how they’d handle that – oftentimes, Wolfsbane didn’t work on blue moons or the moon after the blue moon. He’d learned that with Severus, while he spoke of the potion process the other day.

“I’d like that,” Sirius told him quietly, nodding. “I used to have so much Indian – the thing with living with the Potters, you know? And it was so much better than anything I’d ever eaten. I’m… I really like Indian food because of it.”

“Then I should definitely bring you more,” Elías gave him a small smile, Sirius matching it and Elías took in a deep breath. “Hey, are you in the mood for a deep talk?”

“Do I have a choice whether we have it or not?” Sirius chuckled.

“You always have a choice,” Elías said, completely serious, making the Gryffindor look up with a bit of surprise before taking a deep breath and nodding, shoving some rice and chicken into his mouth and gesturing at Elías to begin. “I want to ask about Regulus.”

Sirius choked for a moment, coughing into his elbow and they both looked down at Remus when the werewolf shifted on the bed, giving them his back and curling up further. Slowly and carefully, Sirius grabbed the soft blanket Elías had brought him and set it over the Defense professor, sighing.

“I don’t like to talk about him,” Sirius told Elías, who nodded.

“Okay. I won’t ask you anymore about him,” Elías promised, making Sirius look relieved.

“Thank you,” he gave a little laugh of disbelief. “I’m still getting used to that… thing you do where you _mean_ what you say.”

Elías blinked, “What?”

“You say you won’t ask anymore about him and I believe you, because you _mean_ it,” Sirius waved a hand at him. “It’s weird. People don’t usually mean what they say.”

“Well, I do want to know but if it’s painful and too personal, of course I won’t push you,” Elías frowned. “That’s basic decency where I come from.”

“People still tend to push. Just a little,” Sirius hummed, taking another bite before glancing at Elías. “Anything else?” he asked, hand over his mouth.

“I went to Bluehill the other day,” he said and Sirius stopped chewing. “…is that a delicate question, too?”

“No,” Sirius swallowed, shaking his head. “Just my hometown.”

“It’s really beautiful,” Elías told him. “Narcissa told me you guys grew up there?”

“Narcissa told you? Willingly?” Sirius frowned at Elías. “Damn, angel, you got everybody talking, don’t you?”

“We get along,” Elías shrugged. “She’s a good woman.”

“She is,” Sirius nodded, sighing. “Yeah, we grew up there. Ica – well, Corban, my family, hers and a few other families that are like, pureblood, you know?”

“Who else?” Elías smiled. “It’s a beautiful town, I really liked it.”

“It is a _bore_ ,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “The Longbottom’s were there, actually. Uh, and I think the Bone’s, too? The Selwyn’s, the Travers and the Fawley’s.”

“Oh,” Elías felt an icy spike of fear running down his throat but he kept it in. “What’s it like? Growing in a fully magical town?”

“It’s just life,” Sirius told him, chuckling. “What’s it like growing up in a muggle town?”

“Just life,” Elías grinned back and the two laughed quietly, checking that Remus wasn’t waking up just as the rain began to very gently fall against the windows. “Okay, that’s fair. I guess I’d have to experience it to really know what it’s like.”

“Bluehill is a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere,” Sirius told him, pointing the fork speckled with rice at Elías. “Our group of friends would sometimes go to see Frank there and it was _horrible_. Nothing to do.”

“Oh no,” Elías laughed into his hands, saying quietly, “Don’t tell me you like the city.”

“I _love_ the city,” Sirius told him.

“This is where we both differ, I hate it,” Elías shook his head. “I can’t stand the noise.”

“I can’t sleep well without… cars and the like. Without hearing life somewhere, some white or brown noise,” Sirius confessed and Elías frowned a bit.

“Do you sleep well here?” he asked.

“I do, I – well, I got that Walkman you got me, so I mostly fall asleep with music,” Sirius assured Elías, smiling. “You got a real good music taste, angel.”

“I mostly just went off on what you’ve told me of yours,” Elías shrugged, hands gripping the blankets under him, thoughtful. “Were you friends with Corban? Before Hogwarts?”

“Eh, we hung out,” Sirius replied. “We weren’t super close. That was… well, that was my brother.”

“Right,” Elías muttered, thinking of Corban. “I’m just trying to piece things together. Things from the past that nobody can speak about so I can have the full picture.”

“Good luck,” Sirius snorted. “Most of the people who could tell you are dead.”

Elías winced, “Right. I know.”

“Why’d you wanna know, anyway?” Sirius scraped his fork against the contained, getting the last bits of his dinner. “It’s all history, anyway.”

“I don’t understand a lot of what is _currently_ going on,” Elías explained, biting his thumb nail, frowning at the tupperware instead of Sirius, watching it intensely. “Last Saturday I went to Felix and Kiera’s and we spoke about Corban and I… like, I feel like I’m an outsider completely, you know? Because they’ll mention something and I’ll have no idea what it is about.”

“That happens when you meet a group of people,” Sirius chuckled, nudging Elías’ knee with his foot, making the Spaniard look up. “Don’t worry about it. Eventually, you’ll know. There’s a lot of… like, painful stuff that people won’t want to talk about. Like Philippa or you know, my brother.”

“Can we talk about Philippa?” Elías asked and Sirius nodded.

“Sure, I didn’t know her much but I can answer some questions,” he put the container away, arm moving around Remus’ body, gently pulling him closer. Almost as if he didn’t know he was doing it.

“She uh, was a Slytherin, right?” Elías looked around for a pillow, wanting to get mildly comfortable.

“Yeah, she was a year below us,” Sirius nodded, fingers running through Remus’ hair and Elías smiled a bit to himself at the sight. “She was part of that little quartet Snape had with my brother. Snape, Regulus, Philippa and Ic – Corban, _Corban_. That’s still weird.”

“He used to go by Icarus, then?” Elías questioned.

“Yeah, don’t know when he changed it,” Sirius shrugged. “But those four were close. They came a lot to the Black House and shit. I knew them as assholes.”

“Right,” Elías rubbed his face, sighing. “Then Philippa became the mole.”

“She came to us,” Sirius told him. “Uh… Winter of… ’79? I think? Yeah, definitely. She began to spy for us around then and did so until she was killed in the Spring o ’81.”

“Did you know she was pregnant?” Elías asked and Sirius’ expression changed into one of surprise and horror, hand frozen over Remus’ head.

“She _what_?” he breathed.

“She was pregnant when she was killed,” Elías whispered, sighing.

“Fucking _hell,_ ” Sirius gasped out, hand moving over his mouth, looking nauseous. “She – _fuck_ , she didn’t tell us.”

“I think she was trying to get Corban to leave,” Elías murmured. “And then she was caught. I think she realized she didn’t want that life for her baby.”

“Oh, I’m gonna be sick,” Sirius groaned, rubbing his face and Elías gently patted his shoulder.

“Sorry, I… recently found out,” Elías winced.

“She deserved better,” Sirius frowned. “She really did.”

“Yeah,” Elías looked over at Remus, still sleeping, and then at the rain falling out the window. “I think a lot of people deserved better than what they got.”

* * *

N.E.W.T.s were brutal. Elías could remember the pressure, the stress, the feeling of inadequacy that came with them but he didn’t expect to see it as an _outsider_. On Monday morning, he walked by the Great Hall to check on his students and give them some encouragement but all he found when he crossed the corner was Marcus Flint slamming into him, Elías nearly falling on his ass if the Quidditch captain hadn’t had such good reflexes.

“Mr Flint!” Elías gasped, hand over his heart. “My Gods, are you alright?”

“Sorry, sir,” he muttered, looking pale and sleep-deprived.

“The Great Hall is that way, Marcus,” Elías frowned. “Did you forget your notes?”

“No, I…” he looked nauseous. “I’m not going to take them.”

Elías blinked, stunned, looking at the kid before glancing around them both, making sure there was no one else before pulling him closer to the wall, worried.

“Hey, _hey_ ,” Elías said softly to him. “What’s wrong? Why are you backing up, now?”

“I’m not taking them,” Marcus kept staring at Elías’ shoulder instead of his eyes, looking almost hyperfixated, barely blinking. “I don’t want to. I don’t _want_ to.”

“You’re almost at the goal, Marcus,” Elías told him, trying to be encouraging. “If you don’t take them now, I’m sure you’ll be disappointed after you rest! It’s just the final step, all that you’ve been doing this year will be wasted, then. All the effort you put!”

“I wasted it all, anyway,” he rasped and Elías felt a pang of pity take over him. “I’ve wasted so much time and so much… _me_ on this and it’s not worth it. I don’t want it. I don’t want any of this, I hate it.”

“You’re sleep-deprived and exhausted, Marcus,” Elías insisted, hands gently moving to his arms, squeezing for comfort until the captain looked at him, seemingly… _spooked_. Like a dear caught in the headlights. “I know you don’t believe in yourself,” Elías told him. “But I _do_ believe in you, alright? I believe that you can do –”

“Next month I’ll be out of here,” Marcus said in a thread of voice, tears shining in his eyes. “My Quidditch opportunity is out the window and I’m no good at anything else. I’m a waste of space.”

“You are _not_ a waste of space,” Elías stated, voice and eyes firm. “You are a bright, young man who has so many years of learning and living, do you understand me? Marcus – _Marcus_ , kiddo, look at me – please, look at me?”

Marcus did, breathing hard, trying to keep it together, the poor boy.

“Let me tell you something,” Elías began slowly, voice a whisper. “Your grades? Quidditch results? Your N.E.W.T.s? All of the bad things that happened in this castle? One day it’ll only be a bad memory. One day you’ll look back at all of this and it just won’t _matter_. You’ll think to yourself that it was a load of bullshit and that you’re much, much better than you ever were here. Exams suck, they’re a terrible way to test your skills and Hogwarts Quidditch is incredibly biased and unbalanced. Everyone’s been telling you from the beginning that you’re a bad person because of the House you’re in but you _know_ deep inside that it’s all _bollocks_ , do you understand?”

“What do I do, then?” Marcus sobbed, hand rubbing through his eyes. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I _want_ , I just know what I _don’t_ want.”

“Well, what _don’t_ you want?” Elías asked, rubbing his arms.

“I don’t want to g-get a job from nine to f-five,” he cried. “I don’t want to work at my f-father’s stupid fucking s-shop! I don’t – I don’t want to work at the M-Ministry, I want to play _Quidditch_. I want to b-be the best!”

“Then _work_ to be the best,” Elías told him, making Marcus stare at his professor, eyes wide. “Your family has money, right? They would allow you one year of sabbatical after Hogwarts?”

“I don’t… I don’t know,” Marcus whispered.

“It’s an option,” Elías smiled at him. “To find a trainer, look into local Quidditch clubs, talk to other influential people. Oliver got scouted – why don’t you go to him with an olive branch? Tell him that you admire him as a Quidditch Player and to maybe help you get a chance, too.”

“He wouldn’t want to hear m-me,” Marcus sniffled.

“Try it,” Elías insisted, hands moving to Marcus’ face, giving him a kind smile. “In this life, unfortunately, we must move out of our comfort zones. And a lot of times, we’ve to do things we don’t like to _do_ the things we do like. I had to sit through my N.E.W.T.s as well for me to finish Hogwarts and have a certificate telling me that I could go to college. I had to go through classes in order to do my art. I have had to do a lot of things that I never wanted to do in order to gain some footing and finally do what I wanted.”

“I’m really tired,” Marcus muttered, hand rubbing his forehead. “I think I’m going to flunk.”

“Well, even if you do,” Elías stood straight. “At the very least you _tried_. Which is the most important thing you can ever do. Try.”

“Try,” Marcus repeated, quietly.

“Do your best,” Elías encouraged, nodding. “Sit down on those exams and choose to do them, choose to finish the race. Then tonight you get some good, some _amazing_ sleep. And I promise that if you finish your N.E.W.T.s, I’ll shoot a few quaffles and bludgers with you on the Quidditch Pitch.”

“You?” Marcus laughed, rubbing at his eyes. “For real?”

“Yep,” Elías chuckled, arms crossing. “But you’ve to finish your exams.”

“Alright,” Marcus nodded, hands running through his face, taking a deep breath. “A-alright, professor. Fine. I’ll finish my exam and… and keep trying to… to be the best Quidditch player I can be.”

“That’s the spirit,” Elías grinned, hand clapping over his shoulder, Marcus managing to give him a small smile. “Where’s Max and Bastien? Aren’t you guys friends?”

“Yeah, uh… they’re studying,” he mumbled, looking over his shoulder towards the Great Hall, where the crowd of students had gathered in all four colors. “I… I really don’t want to bother them.”

“As them if you could talk about how you’re feeling,” Elías advised. “And rely on your friends for support. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Alright, sir,” Marcus murmured, hand gripping his bag tightly. “Thank you for – for talking to me, sir.”

“Anytime, alright?” Elías gave him a small smile.

“Professor – Professor Snape told me that, too,” Marcus croaked and Elías paused.

“Told you what?” he asked, confused.

“That he believes in me,” he whispered and Elías felt a surge of gratefulness for Severus, walking towards the locker rooms after Elías had yelled at him. “I don’t know why he or you do but uh… thank you. Nobody believes in me, much.”

“Well, at the very least there’s two of us,” Elías said. “And that’s not nobody.”

Marcus nodded, nervously chewing on his lip before turning around and walking back towards the Great Hall entrance, making Elías let out a deep breath, hand over his face. He only hoped that he’d given the kid the right advice.

Because a lot of times this wasn’t a simple problem of motivation, it was a problem of _encouragement_ back at home. Elías would bet his right arm that Marcus’ guardians weren’t a big fan of him pursuing sports, which Marcus was _good at_ , just not the _best at_. But it didn’t matter that he wasn’t the best, he was still so young and could only get better, after all. If the kid didn’t have a good support system, though, it was only normal for him to become disillusioned about his passions.

It – it reminded Elías of _himself_ , at eighteen. And it made him wary because at eighteen, Elías had been the most unstable.

He ended up approaching his students a few minutes before the first N.E.W.T.s, giving them all encouragement and a few laughs, talking to a shaking Jane and Rue and answering a few last questions from Ezra, who wrote it all down even though they were about to enter the Great Hall. He found comfort in giving at least a few kids some comfort and soon, McGonagall was calling them by name and one by one entered the Great Hall and sat down for their exam.

Elías stayed until the very end, when Liam Zall was called and the boy took a deep breath and went in, leaving Elías to stare at the closed doors of the Great Hall, praying silently for Morpheus to give them a sliver of calmness in the next four hours.

* * *

“Again.”

“I can’t –”

“ _Again_ , Elías.”

“I can barely stand, I –”

“Give me five more,” Severus told him, hand moving to grip Elías’ shoulder and pull it back, fixing Elías’ hunched posture, the Spaniard sweating as exhaustion laced his body. The line of dummies at the other end of the dueling table was starting to look blurry.

“Stamina building is a _fucking nightmare_ ,” Elías rasped before he used his aching shoulder to direct the non-verbal _expelliarmus_ , hitting the third and fourth, grunting. “Fuck, shit, _fuck!_ ”

“Calm down. Again,” the potioneer replied, voice neutral, arms behind his back as he watched Elías gasp for a breath. “Your spells are starting to disperse. Focus. Don’t lose your balance and posture.”

“I’m so fucking tired, Sev,” Elías wheezed out, hand on his shoulder. “My wrist –”

“In the middle of battle, your enemy won’t care about your wrist or how tired you are,” Severus snapped, making Elías close his eyes, nodding, trying to get another lungful. “Now finish this lesson and _hit them_. One by one. From the top.”

Severus waved his own wand, putting the five dummies in a row and Elías blinked hard, trying to keep the sweat out of his eyes. It was late, they both hadn’t had dinner yet, his wrist and shoulder and overall wand arm was _killing_ him and his shoes felt too small on his feet and yet –

Just like he’d told Marcus. This was the final step.

Elías took a deep breath, arching his aching back, chin up and chest out and shoulders loose and one arm behind his back, the French style that Severus had been teaching him, getting into perfect position. Or at least he hoped it was as perfect as could be for nine in the evening on a Monday.

A noise Elías had never made before tore out from his throat and he did the next five spells in quick succession, feet planted firmly on the ground the way he’d practiced and his arm sweeping over. One, two, three, four, five, all of them precise flicks of his wrist on his long wand, hitting the dummies one by one, throwing them back.

And as the last spell hit, his knee gave out and Elías dropped on the table, breathing hard, trying to catch some oxygen, spread on the painted wood of the dueling table. Next to him, he heard and felt Severus walking over to him, stopping in front of his body.

“Your spells hit at varying positions – head, shoulder, hip, shoulder and chest. Next time, I want them all to be on the same spot. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” Elías rasped, swallowing, his lips burning and sweat cooling between his shoulderblades. “Are… are we d-done?”

“For today, yes,” Severus hummed and Elías heard him much closer than he expected, making him open his watery blue eyes and looking up to see Severus crouching in front of him.

“You finished the lesson,” he stated and Elías laughed hysterically.

“I did,” he panted, eyes falling shut again. “Give… give me… a break…”

“You’ve earned it,” Severus chuckled and the sound made Elías grin, still exhausted. “You’ve been improving. Lately you’ve been able to finish your lessons.”

“Th… thanks…” Elías let out a throaty laugh. “You’re… a good… teacher…”

“I’m demanding,” Severus replied and, to Elías’ surprise, he heard Severus sit down on the table, Elías rolling on his back, watching the ceiling of the Dueling Room, a sky full of stars in faded paint. Must’ve been over a hundred years old.

“I wanted… you to be ah, _haaa_ ,” he laughed, inhaling deeply before letting it out, feeling his heart still racing. “I wanted – you to be demanding. Tough. I didn’t… want you to be ah, _shit_ ,” Elías laughed harder, hand over his face. “Soft with me.”

“Are you alright?” Severus cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I missed… being out of breath,” Elías confessed, grinning over at him, hand over his chest under his shirt to feel his heartbeat. “Used to – I used to… fight a lot.”

“Fight?” Severus frowned.

“Neo-nazis,” Elías confessed, making Severus’ eyebrow shoot up. “In… Madrid. My friend – my friend Lio… he taught me boxing… and we’d go out and… catch neo-nazis on… the outskirts of the… gay district.”

“You… purposefully got into fights?” Severus looked mildly worried and partly annoyed, almost.

“Yeah,” Elías laughed. “I was a fucking… idiot, y’know. Seventeen and – and looking for a fight… anywhere, yeah?”

“So you picked fights as a teenager,” Severus snorted. “How did that go for you?”

“High… tolerance for pain,” Elías tapped his crooked nose. “And broken… noses.”

“Why did you pick those fights?” Severus seemed confused and a little angry. “And the _muggle way_. With fists and _kicks_. You can get seriously hurt if _you_ are the one who’s hitting. Truly, I will never understand –”

“You’ve never punched someone, have you?” Elías smirked and Severus looked down at him, sneering.

“Why would I use brute strength? Feels like a power imbalance unless my opponent has the same mass as I.”

“Ho boy, you’d hate muggle bullies,” Elías laughed loudly. “Punching someone who’s talking – talking _shit_ is the best feeling in the fucking world. It’s such a… physical reaction, you know? Makes your blood boil. Then _wham!_ You shut them up real quick with that.”

“I don’t like physical… fighting,” Severus shook his head. “Messy.”

“One day,” Elías lifted a finger at him. “You’ll want to punch somebody real fucking bad, Sev. And that day, you’ll remember me. And you’ll wish you knew how to properly punch someone.”

“It has a technique?” Severus asked, unimpressed.

“Yep,” Elías let his hand drop to his side, sighing, his heart beating at a normal rate now. “Everything does. Punching and – and kicking. I know a little bit of… how to physically fight. MMA, mostly. So I know some Muay Thai, some wrestling, some boxing…”

“I’ve no idea what those are,” Severus confessed, rolling his eyes.

“I’ll show you one day,” Elías hummed, finally sitting up, hand rubbing at his shoulder. “I think I fucked my shoulder up.”

“Rest. If it still hurts tomorrow, go to Pomfrey,” Severus suggested, making Elías nod, grunting as he rubbed his right trapezius, sighing. “You truly are improving, though. No more verbal spells, I haven’t heard you utter a single noise for them.”

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing,” Elías murmured, rubbing the back of his neck as well.

“It shows,” Severus stood and Elías watched him, amused.

“You’re laying the compliments thick today, huh?” he smirked, Severus tensing up. “What, you feel bad for putting me on my limit?”

“Somewhat,” Severus admitted, nodding his head. “But I truly saw the follow-up of your lessons today. I simply thought I would let you know. You… mentioned that it was a good way to encourage engagement during class.”

Elías blinked, startled at the sentence before his face lit up, “Yes. Yes! Absolutely! Have – have you been doing that with your students as well?”

“…perhaps,” Severus mumbled, getting busy by placing the dummies back in the closet as Elías hid a smile against the back of his hand.

“I won’t mention it,” Elías promised, lifting a foot to the table so he could lay his head on his knee, closing his eyes, enjoying the moonlight on his face.

He took a moment to relax, hearing Severus puttering about before finally the noise stopped and Elías opened his eyes to see the potions master in front of him, waiting patiently, hair pulled out of the small ponytail he usually wore for the lessons.

“Dinner?” Severus suggested.

“I’m exhausted,” Elías confessed, standing with a sigh. “I think I’m just going to bed. Tomorrow’s the full moon and I want to wake up early to help Remus out, in case he needs anything.”

“He’s been drinking all the doses, right?” Severus asked as the two exited the Dueling Room, closing the double doors behind them both and starting to head to the southern side of the castle.

“Yeah, he always does,” Elías yawned, thankful that it wasn’t late enough for the lights to have gone out, since he couldn’t do a _lumos_ right now to save his life. Everything _ached_. “He’s been exhausted this moon.”

“It’ll get worse on the blue one,” Severus said quietly. “Blue moons are truly taxing.”

Elías frowned. “I hope it goes well.”

“Hm,” Severus replied, non-committal and Elías glanced at him and noticed a tiny, minuscule, _microscopic_ smidge of worry in his expression, deciding not to say anything. “Could I ask you something, Elías?”

“Shoot,” he gave the man some fingerguns, making Severus roll his eyes before he sighed.

“Have… you ever seen an AA Meeting?” he finally asked after a moment of silence and Elías stared for a moment, surprised.

“Alcoholics Anonymous? No, I haven’t, my problem wasn’t alcohol,” Elías explained, smiling a bit. “Is this you suggesting a muggle solution to Corban’s problem?”

“We’ve tried anything the wizarding way,” Severus was quick to tell him, lips pulled down into a frown. “We need to try what we haven’t, yet, and I… researched.”

“Well, I don’t know _a lot_ about it but I can definitely search,” Elías offered, making Severus give a slow, single nod. “I know open meetings are the best option? You can be a member, I think, but they do open meetings for everyone to join. You talk with others about your experiences and you follow an uh, a Twelve Step Program? I think that’s how it’s called?”

“Is this… intern?” Severus asked.

“Nope. You just attend a meeting once a week, I believe,” Elías told him. “Maybe somewhere on a quiet, non-important town? Would Corban like that?”

“We should ask him,” Severus sighed, rubbing his temple, wincing and Elías reached for Severus’ elbow, pulling him a bit closer.

“Headache?” he asked with sympathy.

“Migraine, I’m afraid,” Severus muttered, lip curling with annoyance.

“You should drink some water and rest up as well, then,” Elías suggested, patting his right arm.

“It’s not dehydration,” Severus said quietly and Elías frowned before his eyes drifted to Severus’ other arm, eyebrows shooting up.

“Oh,” he mumbled. “Is someone –”

“It does it, sometimes,” Severus quickly told him, annoyed. “Nobody’s called since that Friday. Not even… the one who called before. He’s been quiet.”

“Good,” Elías sighed. “The year is almost over. I’m a bit afraid that he’s run off.”

“If he has, then what will you do?” Severus cocked an eyebrow.

“Tell Dumbledore and hope he believes me this time,” Elías scoffed. “I doubt he will. He’s barely spoken to me in these last months.”

“Hm,” Severus said once more, pausing by the entrance to the Astronomy Tower and looking over at Elías. “This Sunday. Malfoy Manor.”

“Dinner or lunch?” Elías asked. “Because Remus and I have lunch with his father.”

“Dinner,” Severus replied, frowning. “You… eat lunch with Lupin’s father?”

“He’s a sweetheart!” Elías defended, laughing. “I get along with him very well.”

“Sounds like something a partner would do,” Severus cocked an eyebrow and Elías gave him a seething, venomous look, making Severus’ hands lift. “Alright, alright, I won’t bring up again how he seems to be denying everything…”

“Good. Don’t,” Elías crossed his arms then winced. “You really fucked me up this lesson.”

“Perhaps then you’ll build some muscle,” Severus prodded and Elías gaped at him.

“Ex _cuse_ me, are you suggesting I’m _scrawny_?” he laughed.

“Not suggesting, stating,” Severus snorted.

“I’ll fuck you up, you nerd,” Elías threatened with a laugh, pointing at Severus who simply slapped his hand away.

“Of course you would,” he said condescendingly, making Elías laugh again. “If it keeps hurting tomorrow, go to Pomfrey.”

“Yes, sir” Elías sighed, walking back. “Goodnight, Sev.”

“Good night, Elías.”

* * *

As May fell on the calendar, Elías began to realize that he didn’t have any free time at all – even if his Seventh Years were done with classes, he still had to prepare all the final exams for the rest of his students and more than a few were coming early in the morning to his quarters to ask him some questions, to the point where his lessons with Theodore on Wednesdays turned to a study session for whomever wanted to join in his class.

The only reprieves he had were in the weekend, where he kept being invited to brunches and dinners by the other Slytherins, most of them social butterflies that didn’t understand just how much Elías needed to recharge sometimes. Being a professor truly was a thankless job and on the week before Corban was done with detox, Elías decided that the weekend would be for _himself_.

“I wanna die,” Elías groaned on Saturday evening after having spent all day helping some Hufflepuffs on their coming exams, dropping on Remus’ couch, eyes wide and on the ceiling. “Remus, help me, I keep seeing equations whenever I close my eyes.”

“I’m still reciting defensive spells in my head,” the werewolf groaned, also sitting on the couch near Elías’ head, rubbing his eyes. “Can’t believe we did this for _seven years_ back in Hogwarts. You and I have nothing to lose, _they_ do.”

“The system is in shambles, we already knew that,” Elías mumbled, sighing. “We need a damn education reform.”

“Hmm,” Remus simply said, closing his eyes. “Good luck with presenting that to the Ministry.”

“I know, right?” Elías pouted up at Remus, who gave a weak laugh.

“I’m exhausted,” the werewolf huffed. “Not even the full moon, huh?”

“Last one was a bit rough on you,” Elías frowned, lifting a hand to touch Remus’ forehead, the werewolf closing his eyes. “You’re a bit warm but not really a fever…”

“I honestly just need to relax, I think,” Remus sighed, rubbing his face hard with a groan before his fingers gently took Elías’, squeezing.

“Would you like us to go to San Fernando?” Elías suggested and Remus’ shoulder sunk, nodding, making him sit up with a groan. “Alright. To my rooms it is.”

“Let me grab a book,” Remus hummed, standing and walking over to his shelf, stretching a bit. “If – if you don’t mind, of course –”

“Going home and spending the evening cooking and reading sounds _great_ ,” Elías laughed a bit, nodding, leaning against the wall as Remus looked around. “You could grab one of _my_ books, you know.”

“Are they in English?” Remus asked, turning to Elías.

“Most of them, yeah,” Elías nodded, making Remus hum before he followed Elías out his quarters, the two professors walking through the mostly empty halls of Hogwarts, the students either outside enjoying the last dregs of sun or moving towards the Great Hall for dinner. “I should grab the book by Cassandra Trelawney. Haven’t had time to read over it but I think I’m just gonna chill a bit and not worry about any stressing stuff.”

“It’s just been a stressful week,” Remus agreed, hand running over his straw hair, showing off the few freckles that had appeared in the time the sun had come out around Hogwarts. “I would love to disconnect a bit.”

“Yeah,” Elías hummed, eyes running over the hallway before they caught onto Severus, dodging students headed to the Great Hall with a book in hand, nose buried into it. His shoulders were tense and Elías pulled on Remus’ arm. “Let’s invite Sev!”

“Don’t think he’ll want to tag along, but sure,” Remus chuckled, following Elías.

“Hey, Sev!” Elías called, making the potions professor grunt as the other two adults moved by his sides. “We’re going to be eating dinner at my place, would you like to join us?”

“I’d rather pull out my eyes with a rusted spoon,” he replied, eyebrow twitching.

“Aw, come _on_ ,” Elías moved in front of him, forcing Severus to stop, finally looking at Elías. “It’s exams season. Everyone is so angry and stressed and frustrated. It’d do us all well to have an evening to relax, yeah?”

“What in the world makes you think that I could relax with him around?” Severus pointed a thumb at Remus, who gave Elías an _I told you so_ look.

“He’s just going to be reading while I cook, Sev,” Elías put his hand over the top of his book, pulling it down carefully, getting close with a pout. “Pleeeeease? I’ll even teach you a new recipe!”

Severus paused, eyes narrowing, “Which?”

“Cajun buttered shrimp,” Elías replied and had to pull his fingers away as Severus’ book snapped shut, glaring slightly at Elías.

“Deal,” he muttered, turning on his heels and moving towards the Astronomy Tower, Remus giving Elías an impressed look while Elías rushed to catch up with the potions master. “It was about time _you_ showed me one.”

“You’ve been _way_ too excited about doing yours, I didn’t want to burst your bubble,” Elías laughed.

“You two sure cook a lot,” Remus pointed out, looking at Severus. “Did you learn on your own?”

“No,” Severus replied. “Corban.”

“Ah, I didn’t know he’s a good cook,” Remus smiled. “How is he doing?”

Severus’ jaw twitched and he glanced at Remus, “Do you truly care?”

“I do,” Remus gave a firm nod. “I’ve no ill will towards him. There’s no anger and no hatred in me for Corban Yaxley.”

“He’s doing better,” Severus sighed and Elías watched the civil exchange with a small smile, trying to hide it behind his hair. “He’ll be leaving St. Mungo’s soon.”

“Maybe you two could prepare him a dinner,” Remus suggested and Elías nodded eagerly.

“We are! Severus and I are going to make a big dinner with everyone else at the Parkinson’s home!” Elías grinned widely. “We still have to choose the recipe but anything Japanese will land with Corban.”

“Hope you’ve fun, then,” Remus smiled back, nudging him. “Don’t overcomplicate yourself, huh? Try and choose something simple, have fun with it.”

“Complex recipes that are challenging are _fun_ ,” Elías stated, laughing.

“I agree,” Severus hummed.

“It’s why I like cooking with you,” Elías sent Severus a grateful look before a voice called Severus’ name, making the three of them turn.

Hermione Granger was rushing there and Elías nearly laughed – she’d been hounding the teachers so much that some were almost thinking of avoiding her. Not that they didn’t want to push her into learning but… Hermione was perhaps too much, especially on a Saturday.

“What is it now, Ms. Granger?” Severus sighed, arms crossing but Hermione seemed unbothered, busy with her notes in hand.

“Sorry, sorry!” she said breathlessly, digging into her bag. “I-I was thinking about what you said the other day – about the properties of sage? You said that the leaves took too long to steep for the Shortening Solution, which is why you use stargrass instead –”

“Indeed,” he cocked an eyebrow as Hermione spun in circles, down to her elbow in her bag and Elías found it endearing, smiling behind his hand.

“But – but! What if – what if there was an essence of sage that we could use? We wouldn’t need to seep the leaves! Like this!” she finally got out a little phial with a pale green, almost white substance in it, Severus slowly taking the phial and uncorking it, smelling the liquid with his eyebrows raised.

“Did you do this?” he asked her and Hermione nodded.

“Is it possible, then?”

“No,” Severus corked the phial again and gave it to her, Hermione looking disappointed as she took her sage essence. “Seeping in heat is part of the potion, Ms. Granger, and to know why seeping is important, I suggest you read _Ancient Habits of Potion-Making_ by Arabella Selwyn.”

Hermione rushed to grab a muggle pen from her bag, writing it down on the back of her hand, nodding as Elías grinned a bit.

“Did you do the essence all on your own?” Elías asked her, impressed.

“Ah, yes, sir,” she nodded, her busy hair bouncing a bit. “Blaise has a bunch of potion instruments and he lent me some.”

“That is _highly_ advanced potion-making,” Elías grinned. “You know what? Ten points to Gryffindor. You absolutely deserve that.”

“Elías,” Severus sighed and Elías hip-checked him as Hermione grinned. “Potions is _my_ domain –”

“What are you, an animal?” Elías rolled his eyes, making Hermione smile privately. “Domain or no domain, Hermione has accomplished something amazing! Don’t you have anything to say to her?” he put his hands on his hips, watching Severus.

The other Slytherin watched Elías back, dark eyes on his blues and he seemed to be trying to silently communicate to Elías that he should go to hell and that kids were supposed to fear him and that he was the scariest, most awful bat to ever be at Hogwarts. Elías nudged his head towards the student. Severus grunted and turned to her.

“Well done, Ms Granger,” he finally said, making her gasp with happiness.

“Thank you, professor Snape!” she gushed before walking off, already pulling out more notes, talking to herself about this or other.

“That was cute,” Remus said.

“Say another word, Lupin, just _one more_ ,” Severus hissed, glaring at the grinning werewolf. “Give me the reason to finally put you out of your misery.”

“Boys, play nice,” Elías warned with a laugh, pulling on both of their arms, climbing the stairs of the Astronomy Tower. “Come on, let’s just _relax_ tonight, yeah? We’ll cook, we’ll relax, we’ll listen to some music and get along, hmm? Like civilized adults.”

“You are the least indicated person to say so,” Severus said dryly.

Elías’ foot moved to Severus’ leg, kicking him, making the professor yelp.

“Like _civilized adults_ , I said,” Elías insisted and Remus was laughing so hard that his face had started to turn red.

“Why do I even bother?” Severus grunted, following into Elías’ quarters.

“Because I’m your friend and you _liiiiike_ me,” Elías grinned, pulling off his light jacket and throwing it over the back of the couch, looking for his wallet. “Also, by the way, you can stay while Remus and I get the groceries real quick.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll scourge your shelves,” Severus looking over at the Cassandra Trelawney book over the table, untouched. “Or perhaps not… mind if I grab this one?”

“Go for it,” Elías sighed, also grabbing his car keys from the little box of keys he had over his drawer. “Honestly, I haven’t been able to read it yet. Had no time.”

“I’ll take a look,” Severus said quietly, taking the book.

“Have any of you found anything on seers, then?” Remus asked and Elías shook his head while Severus frowned a bit.

“Neither of us has had time, it seems,” Severus rubbed his jaw, approaching the chimney. “It seems we need to take this subject over the summer.”

“I expected it to, if I’m honest,” Elías sighed, running his hands through his hair, pulling off the tie keeping his messy braid together.

“I could try and help,” Remus suggested and Elías blinked at him, surprised, Severus cocking an eyebrow at the Gryffindor.

“I thought Time Magic was evil?” Severus asked.

“Seers are not… it’s _Divination_ magic,” Remus mumbled, rubbing the side of his neck. “That, I can do. I don’t feel morally compromised by that.”

“Very well,” Severus raised his brows, smirking widely. “I believe it’s time for you to confess your Divination sins, then, Lupin.”

“Divination sins? What?” Elías laughed, turning to Remus, who adjusted his collar and gave a nervous little laugh, glancing at Elías. “What is he talking about?”

“I… uh,” he coughed. “I was one of the people who took Divination because I thought it’d uh, be a reprieve.”

“You _what_?!” Elías snapped, hands on his hips. “ _Remus!_ ”

“It was anything _but_ ,” Remus quickly said, hands in front of him. “I realized it wasn’t easy at all! I was a dumb teenager!”

“Damn right you were!” Elías narrowed his eyes at the werewolf. “Did you at least pass?”

“I uh, gave up in November and took Ancient Runes,” Remus murmured.

“Right,” Elías crossed his arms. “And how are you supposed to help us, then?”

“He can still help,” Severus told Elías, who was pouting. “Stop making that face. You know very well that Sybill doesn’t make it easy to understand Divination for those who don’t already have an inclination for it.”

“You didn’t even take Divination,” Remus pointed at him.

“I didn’t _disrespect it_ ,” Severus returned, lifting an eyebrow at him.

“Did you _diss_ Divination?” Elías gasped, laughing as Remus look away. “Remus, no! Oh my Gods, really?!”

“I’ll be honest,” Remus breathed in, then let out a loud sigh. “I didn’t believe in seers until er… you.”

“ _What_?!” Elías hissed, bringing his hands to his head. “I’m gonna fucking _cry_.”

“Please don’t,” Severus grunted.

“Divination is a completely valid branch of magic!” Elías told Remus, cheeks flushed with frustration. “Do you truly not believe in it?!”

“I just,” Remus made a confused noise. “I really do not understand it.”

“Again,” Severus glanced at Elías. “Sybill.”

“Sybill is a _delight_ , you’re all just assholes,” Elías stated, stepping into the chimney and a second later walking towards his kitchen, turning on the lights of his house. It wasn’t as hot today but he still rolled his sleeves and unbuttoned the top of his shirt a little. “She helped me out the other week when I was in a fucking _state_. That woman deserves more respect than you all give her.”

“She calls the death of a student every year,” Severus deadpanned as Remus floo’ed in, leaving Cassandra’s book on top of the dining table. “She thrives in the theatrics more than she does in the subject itself. She might be a good friend but she is _not_ a good professor.”

“You’ve to admit,” Remus stated, lifting a finger. “That if you don’t take it seriously, it’s quite hilarious.”

“She’s amusing, I won’t deny it,” Severus admitted. “But she does nothing to help change everyone’s opinion on Divination.”

“Elías could,” Remus smiled as he leaned into the kitchen counter, the Spaniard looking over at Remus with surprise, flattered. “I know you’ve changed a lot of opinions about Astronomy.”

“W-well,” Elías stuttered. “I don’t – Divination is nice and good but I like working with First and Second Years too much. Plus, Sybill has it covered.”

“I don’t fully understand,” Severus began, Elías turning to him. “Why _you_ are teaching Astronomy. I know it was one of the two O’s you had in your N.E.W.T.s but wouldn’t you rather dedicate yourself to Divination? I know you enjoy it much more than you do Astronomy.”

“You don’t know that,” Elías replied softly. “Just because I don’t infodump about the stars doesn’t mean I don’t care for them.”

“Infodump?” Remus frowned.

“Dumping information,” Severus explained, leaning against the side of the chimney, arms crossed. “It’s autistic slang. Autistic people will often speak in detail of a subject – they hyperfixate on it. It’s often called special interest and it’s because autistic people have an intense and passionate level of focus on things of interest. They’re highly important and meaningful, like a hobby.”

“Oh, alright,” Remus nodded as Elías watched Severus with wide eyes.

“You… know?” Elías laughed, delighted. “About autistic people, I mean!”

“I’m in the spectrum,” he replied and Elías let out a noise of surprise, Remus turning to Severus with his eyebrows raised. “I do not like to broadcast it to any wizard or witch. You muggles have… a lot of research on it, though. I was diagnosed as a child by muggle doctors and read up on it from time to time. Still do.”

“My cousin Jaime is also autistic,” Elías explained, smiling at Severus. “Thanks for sharing with us.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waved a hand. “In any case, I do not mind if you speak of Astronomy extensively to me. You do not mind when I _infodump_ on methods of potion reduction, after all.”

“You’re so _tame_ , though,” Elías told him, eyes wide and sparkling with eagerness, hands moving to Severus’, catching the potions professor off-guard. “Next time, _don’t hold back_.”

“You don’t want that,” Severus said dryly, rolling his eyes, fingers curling slightly around Elías’.

“I _do_ , though,” Elías laughed, delighted. “I love it when people infodump. My cousin Jaime has been doing it for _ages_ and I could never understand why it bothered some other people. I like learning _because_ of that. And potions? Questionable Dark Arts information? Strange trivia about herbs and Eastern European countries? Sign me _up_.”

Severus watched him warily, “You say this now…”

“And if I ever feel like it’s too much, I’ll let you know,” Elías added softly, pouting. “Please? Pretty please?”

“You’re insufferable,” Severus sighed, eyes rolling up. “ _Fine_.”

“Yes!” Elías grinned, triumphant. “Alright – Remus, grab the list paper? Let’s make a list of all the things we’ll need for dinner and let’s get to the grocery story. You can still look around my shelves if you want, Sev.”

“Thank you,” the man hummed as Remus rose to grab pen and paper, a small knowing smile on his lips while Severus began to peruse Elías’ books in the living room.

“You two are cute,” Remus whispered over to Elías when Severus walked a big further away, making Elías elbow Remus, his face red. “I mean it.”

“Shut,” Elías pointed a finger at him. “Do not embarrass me, Lupin.”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, knocking their head together softly, Elías smiling at the gesture. “You said how much shrimp?”


	69. The Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's quite unfortunate that on chapter 69 I can't write any smut. Sigh. Perhaps in Fourth Year?
> 
> In fact, this chapter isn't very sexy, forgive me. There's no diegetic music in here, either, but Florence + the Machine continues to be a great inspiration for scenes in this story and this time, I recommend you play The Drumming Song on the first break.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Discussion of drowning  
> \- Careful those who also have a fear of crushing/being crushed  
> \- Sand, a lot of sand in mildly frightening imagery  
> \- Frightening Sight, overall  
> \- Blood  
> \- Slight body horror  
> \- Stranding at sea/Survival at sea (mild)  
> \- Mild religious imagery  
> \- Mild mention of drug use/alcohol use

“Elías?”

“Hmm?”

“When was the first time you had a Sight?”

Elías blinked, surprised at the question, turning to look at Severus while Remus cleaned the shrimps from the shells, struggling like an amateur, like a non-Spaniard. The three of them had been silent so far as they cooked, listening to soft music on Elías’ record-player that Severus had set up while the others went to get groceries.

“My first Sight?” Elías repeated.

“If you remember,” Severus added, doing the base of their dinner in buttered onion and garlic, filling the kitchen with a delicious smell.

“I’m… I’m not sure,” Elías frowned, hand stopping on the bowl where he was mixing the sauce, leaning back against the counter, Remus listening in.

“Wasn’t it shocking, though?” Remus asked him. “After all, seeing the future –”

“But I didn’t _know_ it was the future,” Elías cut in. “I – sometimes it’s not the future, even. I could be seeing the past or the present. Or even just the _possibility_ of an event.”

“Well, when did you realize it was a Sight?” Remus changed the question, reaching for a towel to clean his briny fingers and taking a sip of his glass of red wine.

“I… it was after I’d… dreamed,” Elías murmured, frowning deeply, staring at his hands clutching the bowl tightly. “I thought it was just deja-vu, you know? Like, sometimes I would live events and I’d think that I’d seen those before. Since they were in my dreams I often forgot them. Such inconspicuous things, too, like… I don’t know, something my sister said. The lights in a Christmas tree turning on and my mother saying something that I knew she would say. My father tripping and doing exactly what I knew he’d do.”

Severus and Remus watched him shrink a bit, Elías’ knuckles tight.

“The probabilities were scarier,” Elías confessed in a whisper. “The one I know I’ve been having for the longest time was… drowning.”

“Drowning?” Severus’ eyebrows shot up.

“ _You_. Drowning,” Remus blinked with surprise. “But you _love_ the water.”

“I do. I love the sea,” Elías muttered, sighing. “But I – there was um, a trip we went to when I was two. And I guess I shouldn’t remember it? Like, I was _two_ , how could I remember, right? Especially considering my shitty fucking memory.”

“The one you mentioned with that photograph?” Severus asked, looking at the fridge where Elías’ grandfather smiled at the camera, making Elías nod. “That’s not on this beach.”

“No,” Elías shook his head. “It’s on the Cádiz Bay. We went to the bay on a boat. It was simple trip with my grandparents and my dad wanted to show me how to start pulling the ropes and such. I knew how to swim.”

Elías walked over to the fridge, taking the picture, watching it with thoughtful eyes, running them over his grandfather’s face.

“I was two,” Elías told them both. “And I loved the water. So I went in.”

“You – what?” Remus almost choked but Severus simply listened.

“I fell into the water,” Elías said. “And did it when my parents weren’t looking. They didn’t notice until they were so far, the boat had a lot of speed. I wore my lifevest and I wasn’t scared at all. I was never scared of the ocean.”

Remus let out a deep breath of relief, “Thank Merlin for lifevests.”

“In my dream,” Elías murmured, putting the photo back on the fridge via magnet, turning to his friends. “I had no lifevest and I went down into the bay. I couldn’t float. I couldn’t swim. There was – it was like gravity was pulling me down, as if I was on the moon instead of the sea, sinking and sinking and _sinking_ and the pressure was _so much_ that my ears began to bleed and everything _hurt_.”

“Bloody hell,” Remus whispered, eyes wide.

“That was my recurring nightmare as a child,” Elías told them, arms crossing. “And my recurring nightmare, from time to time. I touched the bottom of the bay. It’s only sixteen meters, did you know? But it felt like ages to me. Sixteen meters isn’t much at all but for a two year old they were… crushing.”

“That’s horrifying,” Remus reached over to Elías’ hand, pulling the man a bit closer to him, Elías’ jaw relaxing as Remus squeezed his hand. “How do you know that is a Sight?”

“Because I can never forget it,” Elías rasped, hand rubbing his nose. “Um, I just – that was a probability for me. To drown at the bay.”

“Have you ever been back there again?” Severus asked him, frowning.

“Oh, _hell no_ ,” Elías laughed a bit hysterically, shaking his head. “I love the ocean but the bay scares me. I can swim _anywhere_ but there.”

“I see,” Severus added the shrimps Remus had peeled, sighing deeply. “Would you say it was from birth? Your abilities?”

“I don’t know,” Elías confessed, shrugging, his hand clutching Remus’ shoulder as the werewolf comforted him with gentle rubs over his lower back. “Could be. It goes so… gradually, you know? I couldn’t control something, then I suddenly could or I used to only see the future until I began to see the past and… it’s just _strange_.”

“One of the things Cassandra states from the very beginning,” Severus began to explain, making Elías approach him, helping with dinner. “Is that seers are born, not made.”

Elías frowned, “…really?”

“So if you’re a seer, you should’ve been born into it,” Severus explained. “She also states that the abilities are gradual.”

“So I’m a seer!” Elías grinned, relief all over his face.

“I still don’t think you are,” Severus replied, hand moving to Elías’ shoulder, gently calming his enthusiasm, watching Elías’ face fall. “You’ve stated multiple times that you’re able to see the present and the past as well, which should be impossible for a seer.”

“Well, it _depends_ on what you qualify as a seer,” Elías crossed his arms, frowning.

“From Cassandra’s description, it is someone who possesses the ah, _Inner Eye_ ,” Severus told him, very obviously annoyed at the description. “She calls it a sixth sense of sorts. Talks about the moments of blank unawareness where the prophecies fall. A trance where they distantly see the future while their own voice tells someone nearby of the prophecy.”

“But… I’ve never given a prophecy. I think if I had, by now _you_ would know. You were at Hogwarts, you’re Dumbledore’s confidant,” Elías said, gesturing at Severus, who nodded tersely. “What – what else can seers do?”

“They’ve a mild inkling of the future,” Severus explained. “Gut-reactions, feelings and instincts that lead into the right path.”

“Elías has that,” Remus pointed out and the Spaniard looked at him, surprised. “Maybe that’s another reason for his impulsiveness? He’s going with fate –”

“Fate doesn’t exist,” Elías quickly said and Remus looked incredulously at him.

“Then what are prophecies?” he asked, confused.

“Prophecies are – they don’t become fate until they’re told,” Elías explained to Remus, sighing as he watched Severus grab the bowl Elías had been working on and dumping it into the saucepan carefully, the Spaniard taking it as Severus handed it back and starting to clean it. “Prophecies can be fulfilled in a _number_ of ways. A prophecy could say that –”

“ _Born as the seventh month dies and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not_ ,” Severus whispered, making Remus’ eyes snap to Severus, looking almost angry for a moment before he glanced away, swallowing.

“Alice and Frank,” Remus whispered and Elías winced.

“Neville and Harry were born in the end of July,” Elías sighed. “It could’ve been Neville, it could’ve been Harry. We don’t _know_. For all we know, if Voldemort had gone to torture Lily and James before he tortured Frank and Alice –”

“Right, right, I get it,” Remus waved his hand and Elías felt a bit guilty as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Interpretation.”

“They seem like fate because they always happen,” Elías told him, moving to Remus and gently raking his hair back, Remus’ eyes falling shut. “They _are_ inevitable. But it’s not inevitable what… leads to it. A seer could say _a man will walk here tomorrow_ and it could be me, it could be my dad, it could be you or the ghost of Christmas past, we don’t _know_.”

“What’s the purpose of prophecies, then?” Remus asked.

“Guidance,” Elías shrugged. “Or I don’t know, really but… that’s what I’d like to think.”

“Are you _sure_ you’ve never given a prophecy?” Remus frowned.

“No,” Elías muttered, rubbing his face. “But… well, my parents would’ve _told me_ , yeah? If I’d suddenly spoken all scary with white eyes –”

“Speaking of that,” Severus finished the shrimp and sauce, pulling it away from the stove and looking at the pasta resting there. “Cassandra didn’t speak of white eyes.”

“Well, she can’t exactly _look_ at herself when she gives a prophecy, does she?” Elías rolled his eyes, moving to put the pasta on deep plates, Remus standing to start setting up the table over the wood of the dining table.

“But _you_ know that your eyes glaze and white over,” Severus told him, pointing a fork in his direction, Elías frowning. “She would, as well, if she’s given so many.”

“My Sights aren’t prophecies, though,” Elías mumbled.

“Cassandra has no Sights,” Severus also pointed out.

“Then why do I?” Elías breathed, hands tight on the plates, frustrated. “I’ve asked Sybill about this before and she simply said that she’d never heard of such a thing, to look into Spanish seers. But there are _none_ _alive_. And the ones that were written about had no Sights like mine.”

“If we could identify your magic…” Severus sighed.

“What about a _prior incantato_?” Remus asked, hands resting on the counter, making Elías and Severus turn to him. “Doesn’t need to be on the _wand_. It can be used for wandless spells and the like so why not try it?”

“It’s not… a bad idea,” Severus said, turning to Elías. “What do you think?”

“Doesn’t hurt to try,” Elías murmured, tapping his lower lip. “I’ll… hmm. I could try inducing a big Sight.”

“What is that?” Remus asked, looking worried.

“I focus on my Divination, on my Sight and my er, Inner Eye,” Elías explained to Remus, Severus finishing plating their dinner. “I walk to the beach, sit on the shore until my knees are covered and… bright it all forth. Well, I did it in Hogwarts so I did it at the shore of the Black Lake but in here, I could use the beach easily.”

“You’ve done this before,” Remus stated, trying to clear up any confusion.

“Yes,” Elías nodded slowly.

“And the reason why you haven’t done it again is because it’s dangerous, isn’t it?” Remus guessed, arms crossing and Severus grunted.

“Of _course_ it is,” the potioneer said.

“It’s not… _dangerous_ ,” Elías mumbled, rubbing his neck. “Just – y’know, massive migraine. I maybe bleed a bit from uh, my ears –”

“You _what_?” Remus choked.

“It’s the ringing!” Elías assured, hands in front of him. “I told you my ears ring before a Sight! It just – since it’s forced and it’s a big one, it just rings more!”

“We are _not_ doing this,” Remus said firmly, shaking his head. “We don’t need to –”

“Speak for _yourself_ , I want to know,” Elías replied, arms crossing. “Look, it’s not dangerous, I did it _before_ , I can do it _now_. Especially since I did it when I barely had a grip on my Sights! Now I’m sure it’ll be okay!”

“Severus, please, at the very least _help me_ in this,” Remus turned to the potioneer, begging, but Severus was watching Elías with a thoughtful look, his eyes dark, Elías staring back at the other Slytherin with a defiant gaze. “Severus?”

“It’s not a bad idea,” he began and Remus scoffed.

“You both are _insane_ , Elías could get hurt!”

“If he’s done it before, and he’s got a better grasp of it _now_ , perhaps that’s what it takes,” Severus pointed out. “Did you do it alone?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded. “Only did it once at thirteen.”

“What did you See?” Severus asked, moving closer, looking like he was trying to figure something out. “Was it important? We need to know if the risk of this is worth it. I have some healing training and can attend you but we need to know if it’s _worth it_.”

“I saw him, you already know this,” Elías whispered, shuddering. “A… a white mass of bones and skin under a cloak, eyes red as blood… I saw him speaking to who I know now is Bellatrix.”

“Yes,” Severus nodded, hand over his chin, gears turning in his head. “It was what let us know that there was a possible future with his return. It was the confirmation Dumbledore needed to kickstart his plan.”

“You saw him at thirteen?” Remus whispered and Elías nodded, sighing. “Elías, the things you’ve seen at such a young age –”

“Wonder why I’m so fucked in the head? Blame _that_ ,” Elías chuckled, trying to take it lightly but Remus didn’t look amused. “It’s alright, Remus, it just… is what it is.”

“I don’t want you to put yourself at risk just to test a theory,” Remus murmured, hands gripping his elbows, watching Elías right in the eye, making Elías pause. “Elías, it’s not worth it if it hurts you.”

“I promise it’s just a mild bleeding, I _promise_. Please,” Elías begged. “Remus, I… I _need_ some answers. I need to know _something_. Please.”

“Don’t put yourself in danger for answers,” Remus warned him.

“You both will be there,” Elías moved his hands to Remus’ face, cupping it gently, smiling at him. “A mild bleeding is all that will happen. And maybe not even that, since I can control my Sights much better.”

“…it’s your choice,” Remus ended up saying, his green eyes sad. “I cannot stop you just – I don’t like it. That’s all I want to say.”

“Neither do I,” Severus stated, moving between them to put the plates on the table, taking off his overtunic and folding it over the back of his chair. “But we don’t have many options to discover what Elías is, unfortunately.”

“Do we know any other seers aside from Sybill?” Remus sighed as he moved to sit at the table as well, frowning. “We could search and ask.”

“I have, in the past,” Elías told him, lips pursed. “I sent a lot of letters. Nobody could explain _my_ abilities. My Sights. Nobody had heard of them before. And I can’t ask the British government because they’ll want to register me and I fucking _refuse_.”

“Understandable,” Remus sighed deeply, serving Severus more wine and topping his own glass as well. “I… did no one really have _any_ idea? Give you any directions?”

“None,” Elías murmured, shoulders sunken, pressing his glass against his forehead as he closed his eyes. “I just… I want to know. And I’ve got you two now, I – if there is _any_ way for me to get a clue of it, I’d like to _know_.”

“Are you going to do it tonight, then?” Remus asked, sounding defeated.

“Yeah. It’s Saturday, it’s the perfect time for me to try,” Elías murmured, looking over at Severus, who seemed deep in thought. “Sev? What do you think?”

“Do you have a Blood-Replenishing Potion?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at Elías and the Spaniard nodded. “Very well, then I say we prepare that potion and do it.”

“What happens if the Sight goes on for longer than we expect?” Remus asked Elías.

“Put me in bed,” Elías replied easily. “And just… wait until I come out.”

“What about food? Water? Doesn’t your body take a toll?” he questioned, concerned.

“It does but unless you hook me to an IV, then I guess,” Elías shrugged. “I guess I’ll just be headachy when I wake up. And very hungry.”

“If push comes to shove,” Severus told him, glaring a bit. “We call Pomfrey.”

“Good, I like that idea,” Elías nodded, turning to Remus who chewed on dinner with a deep frown. “That’s the solution. Anything else?”

“Why water?”

“What?” Elías turned to Severus, startled as the man looked strangely at Elías.

“Why do you need a shore?” he specified.

“Oh, um – it grounds me. Helps me focus,” Elías explained. “The waves are just… relaxing, you know? I read this book on opening the Inner Eye and it was a bunch of bullshit, mostly, but that part stuck to me? Like… sitting down, feeling the elements that you are connected to.”

“That’s water for you,” the potioneer stated, making Elías nod.

“Water, stars, sand, moon,” Elías lifted four fingers. “Those four elements are the ones attuned to me, to my spiritualism and my magic.”

“All of them tied to dreams and time,” Severus pursed his lips, frowning. “Is that the reason for Morpheus?”

“I didn’t choose Morpheus,” Elías said, looking down at his plate. “Morpheus chose _me._ I – it’s a very personal thing, between me and him. I’d rather not tell you two until I’m ready, alright?”

“Very well,” Severus sighed.

“Eat,” Remus nudged Elías under the table, the Slytherins looking at the werewolf to find him sighing. “At the very least, before we go to shore. I don’t… want you to starve.”

“Alright,” Elías muttered, giving Remus a small, grateful smile and digging in.

Dinner was almost uncomfortably quiet and Elías wondered when exactly he’d gained two close friends that he could trust his life in. He pondered it in silence, picking a bit at his meal, thinking about the worry and slight shake of Remus’ hands and the focused but hesitant look on Severus’ eyes. A long time ago, he’d promised that he wouldn’t feel guilty for the choices he made just because it hurt someone else’s feelings or perceptions of what he was. But this… this was his choice and he was feeling guilty that he was worrying the two of them.

He wondered what Sirius would think, if he knew.

“I’ll go get the Blood-Replenishing Potion,” Elías murmured, standing, his plate clean of food.

Walking to the beach felt a bit depressing, for once. Elías looked at Severus worriedly, wondering if he was alright going to such an open space but he didn’t even glance at Elías as the three exited _El Rompido_. He felt like everyone was mad at him, suddenly, and guilt made his chest cave in a bit, swallowing, hand rubbing his shoulder tightly.

“Wait,” Elías called as they stepped onto the boardwalk, clutching the candle he’d brought and the phial tight in his hand, swallowing.

Remus and Severus turned to him, expectant, and Elías took in a deep breath.

“I know you two think I’m being reckless,” he began and Severus gave a sigh, starting to walk towards him as Elías kept ranting. “Being a seer has a use and if I am not giving prophecies and I cannot control my Sights then there’s no _point_ to this and I can’t help _any_ of you except to give cryptic messages that ultimately do nothing at all to contribute to this possible war that we’ll be facing –”

“Elías, if you want to do this, then _do it_ ,” Severus told him, hand moving to lift Elías’ chin up, eyes and words firm, making Elías go quiet. “Lupin and I may be worried but _you_ are the one who knows your abilities better than anyone. If there has been no clue, no inkling, not a _single_ hint of what you might be in other people, then it’s only reasonable that you try and find it within yourself. We are merely concerned with your physical health, is all.”

“And mental as well,” Remus sighed, crossing his arms and moving closer, lips pursed. “We don’t know what you’ll see. A lot of times a Sight has gravely upset you.”

“Doesn’t mean that I should push it away,” Elías told Remus, brow furrowed as he looked over at Severus, whose eyes were absolutely unreadable. “I want to do this, Sev. But not if you two truly think it’s a bad idea.”

“I…” Severus sighed, looking over Elías’ face. “I do not think it is a bad idea.”

“Neither do I, but it’s a _dangerous_ idea,” Remus rubbed his face.

“Then stay close to me,” Elías said to the both of them, one hand moving to grasp Remus’ hand and the other gripping Severus’ fingers, feeling the man shift them so he could hold Elías’ hand back. “I trust you both.”

“Perhaps more than you should,” Severus muttered and, to Elías’ utter surprise, the potions professor leaned over and brushed his lips against Elías’ forehead, making his cheeks burn, eyes wide, catching Remus trying to hide his grin.

“Let’s go,” Elías said hurriedly, moving through the boardwalk, kicking off his shoes before Severus could see just how dark his face was form that – that _gesture_.

Elías approached the shore, taking off his socks, cuffing his jeans, pulling off his braid and putting his jewelry on Remus’ hand. The werewolf patiently waited as Severus leaned against the tall, tan rocks, watching Remus laugh as Elías kept putting piece after piece of gold and silver in his grip.

“You sure you don’t have any other left?” Remus teased as Elías finally took off his two necklaces, laughing.

“This is the last one, I promise,” he giggled. “I don’t have a piercing anymore.”

“You had one?” he asked, surprised.

“Yep. On my lip,” Elías hummed, sighing as he shook his hands, looking at them, catching the slight shaking. “I… I think I’m ready.”

“Very well,” Severus walked over, barefoot as well. Elías noticed when he looked down at them that he had a purple scar on the side of his left foot, a cursed spell. Always half-healed. “Give me the phial.”

“Here,” Elías handed him the Blood-Replenishing Potion, taking a deep breath, the wind shaking their hair and the waves crashing loudly. “Do you like it?”

“What?” Severus blinked, confused.

“The sea,” Elías murmured and Severus looked over at the waves – not at the horizon, just… the sea right behind Elías. “I know –”

“It moves nothing within me,” Severus confessed and Elías nodded, only a little disappointed. “But,” the potioneer added, making Elías look at him. “I find myself thinking of you whenever I see anything related to it, if that makes you happy.”

“It does,” Elías grinned, laughing, and Severus’ lips curled for a second before they quickly dropped, glaring at Remus, who was also beaming.

“What are _you_ looking at, Lupin?” he sneered.

“Nothing, nothing,” the werewolf shrugged nonchalantly, smirking to himself a bit and Elías wanted to step on his bare, scarred foot. “Very well. Now?”

“Now,” Elías nodded, moving towards the water, breathing out a sigh of almost relief as he felt the waves lap at his skin. “Hello,” he murmured so very quietly, the push and pull of the tide making him wish he could just sink into the water and close his eyes and never have to deal with the outside world.

Instead, he turned towards Severus and Remus, sitting down until the waves were hitting him full on his back, an impact that was familiar and soothing. Carefully, he held the tall white candle in his hands, embedded with lavender and poppies and with a carved, painted gold _eihwaz_. He would’ve taken his amethyst, too, but he felt like he would charge it with… something bad, somehow. He didn’t have a good feeling about this, overall, but he had to know.

“Alright,” Elías murmured, looking at the other two professors, who had taken seats in front of him. “I’m going to need you two to be quiet. Let the ocean be the only thing I can hear, aside from myself.”

“Very well,” Remus whispered, nodding, Severus simply watching.

“I’ll see you on the other side, I suppose,” Elías sighed, handing his wand to Remus before closing his eyes and flicking the flame of his candle to life, taking deep breaths.

At first it felt strange to try and relax with two pairs of eyes on him but the tides lulled him into a sense of calmness soon enough. Hot wax dripped to his fingers but Elías realized that he did not feel the burn at all, his hair floating in the saltwater and his mouth slowly starting to taste of ozone, ringing in his ears increasing. The lightness in his head began with a simple enough swirl of thought before it suddenly stopped.

The ringing stopped. The ozone taste was gone. The waves froze. And Elías opened his eyes, looking at Remus and Severus, blinking hard.

Remus mouthed something, the sound gone, making Elías’ heart skip a beat. He parted his own lips, gaping at them both, Severus looked alarmed and just as he reached for him, Elías heard a church bell ring.

Elías screamed as the ocean swallowed him whole.

* * *

His bare feet slid over the platform, hands clutching cold, hard metal. Elías felt his heart in his stomach, beating hard a staccato, ringing through the hall of crashing waves of sand. He could hear someone mildly screaming his name, a ripping and desperate sound and he could perhaps think that it was familiar if he wasn’t falling off the platform, letting go and clutching at pale, blond ropes, fingers sliding through the strands.

Elías felt himself falling through a canopy of trees, slamming into the wet and cold dirt, fingers raking through dead leaves and broken branches as a howl tore through the night, making him look up. Dread washed over him, standing, swallowing at the wolfish figure rushing towards him. Running was his only option and he did it on his own volition, breaking the skin of his feet through the thick, familiar woods as he tried to outrun the creature only to slam right into a building that hadn’t been there before.

The church had a tower and the bells were coming from it and Elías touched the walls, attempting to find a door when the monster caught up. He turned, eyes wide, afraid of what it would show him and choking when the creature reached into his mouth, pushing his claw into his throat, breaking his jaw and pulled a branch of polished, white wood, making Elías feel as if he was gripping solid veins from within him and _ripping them out_. The creature bled on the dirt and Elías looked at the gold seeping from his fur, his skin, his palm covered in it, feeling it warm and almost boiling before he was suddenly presented with the thin branch, making him cough out shards of glass and sand over the creature’s feet as he took it. He felt sand on his tongue.

“ _The bells mean nothing to me_ ,” the werewolf told Elías, who felt his voice in his lungs, gasping before the walls of the church broke open and pulled Elías into the darkness.

He gasped through the murky waters, hands rushing to his throat, seeing the body below him slowly sinking, arms raised, bubbles raising. The impotence of the train passing by filled Elías and he tried to swim towards the other one, trying to reach, seeing white bodies pile on them, biting and ripping until the water was red and red and only red, sinking into Elías’ eyes.

And when the blood was gone from his eyes, he watched the pendulum move from side to side, a figure in front of it, Hogwarts courtyard beyond. The bells rang loudly, loud and louder and Elías screamed as he covered his ears, the man in front of him turning. In his hands he held a familiar book, the book, the journal, the _book_ , Elías wanted the book, needed the book, the book, the _book_.

His hand slammed onto the floor, attempting to get closer but all he did was break it, sliding through shards of stone and through layers of sand, the pressure crushing him every time, bells ringing louder and louder and louder and _louder and louder and **louder**_ –

_CLANG, CLANG! CLANG, CLAG!_

Sand, sand, sand, so much sand, sand in his ears and mouth and nose and nails and between his teeth and between his bones and between his heart and everyone apart. Cool metal, unsteady platform, someone screaming his name. There was someone screaming his name. Someone important was screaming his name. There was something moving around him, not just the sand, there was a _hum_ and the clang of church bells.

“ _ELÍAS! ELI! ELI, LET GO!_ ”

Elías let go and fell into the sand, then into the sky, then into the ocean.

* * *

Elías screamed, choking on saltwater, gasping for a breath as he broke the surface of the water, sobbing out as the bells still rang in his ears. He panting hard, sobbing, looking around and realizing with awful dread exactly where he was; the Cádiz Bay.

“No, no, no, _no, please, no_ ,” he begged quietly, his hands covering his eyes. “S-Sev? Remus?” he called, looking around. He was in the _middle_ of the bay, he could see the distant lights and Elías felt so scared that his heart nearly stopped, crying hard. “REMUS! SEVERUS!” he called again, wincing as his ears rang, hand moving to them before he looked at his fingers, covered in blood. “ _REMUS! SEVERUS!_ ” he tried once more, shaking, arms slowly padding in the water as he cried. “ _PAPÁ!_ ” he called, desperate, wishing his father, his mother, his sister, _anyone_ was there.

But there was just himself.

“C-calm down,” Elías sobbed at himself. “Calm – calm down. It’s – alright, it’s alright, it’s just water, it’s the _sea_ , it’s j-just water, it’ll be fine, you’re fine, Elías, your name is _Elías_. And you’re magic. And y-you’re an a-amazing swimmer. And you’re – you’re not a fucking seer but it d-doesn’t m-matter. Severus and Re – Remus must be on t-their way, they must be, they m-must.”

He swallowed, looking up at the moon, whimpering when he realized it was way lower than he’d anticipated. How long had his little trip been? How long had he been under the water? What the fuck had even happened?

Elías didn’t know but he was freezing already and he was exhausted but he had to move. He looked around, praying that there was someone on a boat nearby and, thankfully, not too far he saw a few lights, making him sob out with relief. Hopefully, he could get some help or at least get out of the water.

The effort it took for him to get to the boat was greater than he thought it would be but when he was nearby, he began to hear someone on the boat shout in Spanish, making him breathe out, “ _Ayuda. Ayuda, por favor, ¡ayuda!_ ”

“Take my hand!” the boatman said, reaching for him, his Spanish accent from Murcia and Elías quickly took it, letting him pull his soaked body into the boat. “Whoa, whoa, there, boy! What on Earth are you doing in the bay at night?!”

“Someone t-threw me in,” Elías mumbled a quick lie that wouldn’t get him tested for drugs, shaking, seeing an old woman moving to him with a fluffy towel, wrapping it around him, her hands brushing his wet hair out of his face.

“Someone threw you in?!” the man gasped.

“Are you alright? Did you swallow a lot of water?” the woman asked kindly, sitting next to him, looking worried.

“A b-bit,” Elías rasped, coughing before he blinked and offered her a hand. “I’m Elías. Thank you s-so much for helping me.”

“Of course, boy,” she looked around and quickly grabbed a water bottle, offering it to Elías, who began to take slow sips. “Antonio, we should get back to shore and go to the police. If he was thrown in –”

“San Fernando,” Elías told them both, looking at him. “I’ve… I’ve friends in S-San Fernando that can help me.”

“Okay,” Antonio nodded. “Elías, is it?”

“Yeah,” he coughed again into his wrist. “Antonio?”

“And Paula,” the old woman smiled at him, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, it’s alright, we’ve got you. We’re in Rota right now with our son.”

“I was born in Rota,” Elías grinned, feeling not so afraid as before, not with this kind couple helping him out. What he _did_ feel, though, was the cold and the salt drying on his skin. It would’ve usually been pleasant but not after such an awful trip. What even _was_ that.

“And you live now in San Fernando?” Paula asked as Antonio sped the boat through the bay, back towards port. “We could take you to those friends! Or would you rather the hospital?”

“I –” Elías coughed again, rubbing his chest. “My friends. They can help me get into my house and grab e-everything I need for the hospital and police.”

“Alright,” Antonio nodded, glancing at Elías before his eyes went back to the sea, the lights all on as Paula rubbed Elías’ back and honestly? Elías had _insane_ luck. If these two hadn’t been here, he would’ve surely had a hell of a night. “How old are you, kid?”

“Twenty-three,” he replied, rubbing his throat.

“Little bit young to be in a gang,” he chastised and Elías blinked, looking down at his multiple tattoos before giving a laugh, which quickly dissolved into a coughing fit.

“Antonio!” Paula gasped.

“What?! Someone tried to kill him!” the man replied.

“Sorry, _sorry_ , I just – I’m a professor in a boarding school in Britain,” Elías explained and Paula blinked. “I’m an _Astronomy Professor_. No gang here, sir.”

“And they let you teach with that hair and those tattoos?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes, sir,” Elías smiled a bit, feeling much better, finding these two actually endearing.

“Fucking Brits,” Antonio mumbled and Elías grinned against the back of his hand while Paula shook her head, whispering to Elías.

“Don’t listen to him, I think your tattoos are very uh, nice,” she patted his hand. “How are you feeling? Are you cold?”

“I’m alright,” Elías muttered to her, giving her a small smile. “You did truly save me back there. Is there anything I can do for you, Paula?”

“Oh, no! No, no, you needed help and I’m a good Christian, is all,” she told him, patting his shoulder, making Elías nod, thinking of his mother. “We help each other, yes? What you can do is, well, maybe the next time a young boy almost drowns in the bay, help him out!”

Elías laughed, nodding, curling up a bit as his limbs began to shake, wind whipping his hair back, starting to dry it a bit. “You got it, Paula. Still, thank you.”

“It’s no trouble,” she murmured, reaching for another towel to wrap Elías in.

* * *

The car ride back to San Fernando didn’t take too long – especially since Elías lived in the edge of town, to the right of the bridge between Cádiz and San Fernando. He sat in the backseat and listened to the Julio Iglesias CD that played on the old radio, Paula and Antonio arguing with each other about which one to put, making Elías smile behind his hand. They had obviously been married for a long time and the way they finishing arguing and quickly entwined fingers showed it.

He learned that Antonio had worked his entire life in the salt mines at the coast and had recently retired, giving sailing lessons to a few kids in their neighborhood while Paula was a mother of eight kids that studied Arab literature in her free time. Their kids were all grown and gone to different parts of Spain and even different parts of the continent but they all came back from time to time to spend the holidays with them. Their son, Javier, was currently living with them after his recent divorce and apparently, the guy was a bit of a slob.

“I don’t blame him for what happened,” Antonio was saying as the Camposoto beach came to view, Elías looking around for any sign of Remus or Severus. “She was very controlling, she wanted him to move to Norway! What’s in Norway?! Nothing! Just snow and trees and – and penguins!”

“Ay, Antonio,” Paula shook her head. “It was a job opportunity!”

“Well, a shitty one at that!”

“You don’t know that! What do you know about computers, hmm?”

“Nothing but I know Norway is a shitty fucking country!”

“An _tonio!_ ”

Elías laughed a bit into the towel he still had around him, the shaking in his fingers not subsiding but at least he wasn’t out in the wind like before. Maybe he was going into shock. Maybe he couldn’t feel a thing and didn’t feel scared because it still hadn’t registered in him what happened but as his house came to view, so did Remus and Elías gasped, “Stop – stop! This is it!”

“Here?” Paula turned to look at Remus, hand over his mouth. “Oh, he has a lot of scars, dear! Is he alr –“

Elías clambered out of the car, heart in his throat and eyes filling already with tears as Remus looked with confusion around, seemingly lost until he finally saw Elías, eyes going wide.

“Eli – ” he choked, rushing to him and pulling him into a deep hug. “Merlin, Merlin, _Merlin!_ Where were you?! What happened to you?! _Good Godric_ , you’re _freezing!_ ” he touched the towels around Elías as Elías sobbed and shook, clutching at Remus’ shirt, unable to speak. “You’re fine – you’re _fine_ , you’re safe, it’s okay, I got you –”

Elías could barely say anything, shaking hard in his arms as Remus held him tight, face against his neck as Antonio and Paula got out of the car.

“ _Bueno, al menos sabemos que estás en… buenas manos y eso_ ,” Paula spoke, making Elías nod. Remus glanced at the two of them, absolutely puzzled but nonetheless grateful. Elías, managed to speak in a stutter to them.

“ _G-g-gracias por salvarme l-la vida_ ,” he muttered, swallowing. “ _Si algún – a-algún diía necesitáis algo, p-podéis venir a-aquí._ ”

“ _Cuídate, Elías_ ,” was all Antonio said, glancing at Remus before gesturing for Paula to leave, her soft brown eyes running over the wizards one last time, then nodding and waving, moving to her car.

Remus ignored them from then on, carefully guiding Elías back into _El Rompido_ , his arm around Elías’ shaking shoulder.

“What the _fuck_ happened, Eli?” Remus asked, closing the door and Elías looked down and noticed that he was still barefoot. “Elías? _Eli_.”

“There’s blood on the floor,” Elías breathed and Remus frowned, looking down and gasping, quickly bringing Elías to the couch and kneeling to inspect his feet.

“You’re _bleeding_ , there’s – where the _hell_ have you been, did you scrape against a rock?” Remus asked, pulling out his wand and using a _lumos_ to inspect the wound before pulling out of a wound a… a stick. A pine needle. A _pine needle_. “Where –”

“R-Remus,” Elías felt his vision blur, the werewolf turning to him, eyes wide as Elías shook hard, so hard that he could hear his teeth clacking. “R-Remus, I’m-m t-terri _fie-ed_ –”

The Gryffindor rushed up, holding Elías, his eyes wide, “We’ve to get you to Pomfrey.”

“S-Sev,” Elías called instead, shaking his head. “I w-want S-Severu-us –”

“He’s on his way, he went to get help from someone who can do localization spells,” Remus explained, rubbing Elías’ shoulders. “Eli – Eli, _love_ ,” he whispered, touching Elías’ chin and lifting it up as Elías sobbed. “Please, darling. Tell me what happened?”

Elías shook his head, whimpering, thinking of the pine trees he’d fallen through and the wolf with hazel eyes and dark fur ridden with golden blood. Elías looked down at his hands, washed with salt and water but his nails had broken – some painfully so and he remembered the way he’d clawed towards the author of the mysterious journal, begging for answers.

It hadn’t just been a vision and it _terrified him_.

“Eli, I can’t know if you don’t tell me, I can’t _help_ you if you don’t tell me,” Remus explained gently to him, his warm hands cupping Elías’ face but Elías kept shaking his head, thinking of the sand swallowing him whole and the way Remus’ face had looked when he’d been dragged into the water. He didn’t think he could sleep tonight. “ _Love,_ please,” he begged.

Remus never called him love. Or darling. Or any of the pet names that Sirius loved to use on Elías and Elías loved to use on everyone else.

“I can’t-t,” he breathed, shaking his head. “I can’t, I c-can’t, I _c-c-can’t_.”

“What are you so afraid of?” Remus murmured, green eyes wide.

“ _Me_ ,” Elías confessed, head pounding, church bells still ringing in his ears and ozone in his mouth and all the feelings that preluded a Sight bothering him, including the lightheadedness. But there was no Sight. Just the impending doom of one, making him sob. “Rem-mus –”

“Alright,” Remus sighed kindly, standing and pulling Elías up, his arms holding the Spaniard up. “Let’s get you to the shower. You need to clean up and warm up and –”

The chimney lit up and immediately, Harvey Jugson walked in, followed by a _black hurricane._ Severus was speaking rapidly, wand in hand, snarling at his friend as he paused when he saw Elías and Remus.

“— _in the world_ do you think you’re doing?! We’ve to find him! NOW!” Severus barked.

“Found him,” Harvey stated, giving Severus an annoyed look and Severus’ eyes snapped to Elías, a thousand emotions running through his face.

“Sev –” Elías breathed, still shaking, hand tight on Remus’ arm before he was suddenly enveloped in yet another warm embrace, making him choke with relief, feeling Severus and Remus both hold onto him and keep him afloat as he dissolved into hysterical sobbing.

“Don’t do that again. _Ever_ ,” Severus rasped out, his hands finding Elías’ face, pulling back with such a serious look that Elías wasn’t able to really see, his vision too blurred by tears. “Are you alright? Are you wounded? Your lips are blue, you’re _freezing_ , Elías!”

“His feet are bleeding and I think there’s a few more. He looks on the verge of hypothermia, too, but when I tried to cast a warmth charm, it did nothing,” Remus told him. Had he tried to cast of warmth charm? Elías hadn’t noticed.

“Lemme see that,” Harvey called, making Remus turn to him, on high alert but Harvey ignored him, walking over to Elías. “Heyo, Fernández. Care to offer a hand?”

Elías reached out with shaky fingers, nodding, one of Severus’ hands sliding to the back of his cold neck, the other one holding Elías’ arm.

“Let me see,” Harvey hummed, touching each joint, clicking his tongue after waving his wand and muttering a few words in Bulgarian. “Looks like ancient magic to me, Severus. I don’t really feel a curse or anything that could harm him. Just… leftover magic. The fuck did you guys do?”

“How do we stop it?” Severus asked instead of answering and Harvey sighed.

“Just let it fizzle, man,” he shrugged, rubbing his jaw. “He’ll be fine, just let him take a warm bath or shower and heal the other wound he may have.”

“T-thank yo-o-ou,” Elías stuttered and Remus pulled Elías closer, rubbing his back to give him some warmth.

“If y’all don’t mind,” Harvey pointed at the chimney. “I was in the middle of a meeting.”

“Thank you, Harvey,” Severus sighed deeply. “Sorry for –”

“I can see it was important, s’fine, man,” Harvey shook it off, patting Severus’ arm before exiting through the floo network, leaving the three professors alone.

Elías stared at the blood pooling on the tiles of his living room and he wondered why he couldn’t feel pain until he realized that he was shaking from near-hypothermia, teeth clacking together. He felt partly sleepy, too, but he thought it was mainly the adrenaline leaving him since he was now safe with Remus and Severus.

“Alright, enough,” Severus sighed, kneeling down on the floor. “Help him sit – make him sit, Lupin.”

“Careful there,” Remus murmured, gently guiding Elías down to the couch, the Spaniard following his lead with jerky motions, Remus sitting beside him while Severus inspected his bleeding wounds with a frown.

“These… are not made from rocks. Or even coral, if there was some,” Severus muttered.

“Woods,” Elías rasped and the other two professors look at him. “I w-w-was i-in the w-woods…”

“The _woods_?” Remus asked, stunned. “Where? _When_? How did you get there, you – you just disappeared! As if you’d disapparated!”

“I… d-did?” Elías stuttered, wincing as Severus began to heal him with gentle waves of his wand, a warm green light emitting from it. “I – I –”

“Let him rest, then he can explain,” Severus told Remus, who looked so fucking worried that Elías was starting to feel guilty, trembling hand moving to grip Remus’ arm.

“I-I’m s-s-s-sorry,” he stuttered and Remus simply shook his head.

“It’s fine, Severus – Severus is right,” he sighed, looking at Elías. “Where else does it hurt?”

“B-back,” Elías explained, shivering.

“We need to warm you up first,” Remus sighed and Severus stood and quickly pulled Elías up in his arms, making Elías squeak – he was always surprised when the man did that. “That… sure, yes, that works,” Remus blinked.

“Where is the bathroom?” he questioned and Remus quickly began to walk deeper into the house, Elías too tired to speak, trying to leech some warmth from Severus. The ringing in his ears was starting to fade, which he was grateful for but he still heard distant clangs of church bells. Elías pressed his face into Severus’ shoulder, trying to focus on him and his smell and his arms around him.

Then maybe this would all just be a nightmare.


	70. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! No chapter yesterday because I took a break to play minecraft and paint some Warhammer, bc I deserve it.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Dissociation  
> \- Discussion of the whole scene from the previous chapter  
> \- Mention of alcoholism (Corban)  
> \- Mention of hospital (Corban)

“I was dragged into the ocean,” Elías finally began to explain after a shower, a long night’s sleep curled against Remus’ side in his proper bed and a healthy, big breakfast that Severus had laid before him. He wasn’t drinking any coffee today, Severus had forbid it, so instead he had some chocolate milk in his mug, nice and warm, blanket around his shoulders as he sat on the couch. Next to him, Remus had his own coffee and Severus nursed his tea, completely unaware that when he’d slept on the sofa, it’d left a cowlick. Elías found it adorable.

“We didn’t see that,” Remus told Elías, frowning. “You just disapparated.”

“I did?” Elías swallowed, heart in his throat. “That… sounds so much nicer than what I felt, honestly,” he giggled hysterically, clutching his mug with shaky hands, breathing out when Remus moved closer to provide some comfort.

Elías had woken up twice at night and every single time, Remus had been there to calm him down, to reassure that he wasn’t in the bay, to tell him that it was alright and he was going nowhere. Elías had clung to him like a child, most of the night, but at the very least he’d been able to sleep a few hours.

“I was dragged, like a… force on my feet. Out of a horror movie,” Elías rasped at Remus, breathing in with a stutter. “And I… everything was so _fuzzy_ on the first… vision? Sight? I don’t know if it was a Sight or not, it all felt so… so _weird_. Especially the first part of it, cause I know there was sand and there was metal and there was this _immense power_ between my hands but I… I don’t know what it was. I kept slipping off a platform and into like, sand?”

“It could be a timeturner,” Severus suggested, making Elías look over at him. “Metal, sand, immense power? Sounds like a timeturner.”

“I was tiny, then,” Elías murmured, finishing his drink before leaving the mug on the coffee table, sighing. “After I slipped from whatever… platform or metal thing I was on, I uh, I fell through trees. Pine trees. Into some, like, dark woods? Like I _genuinely_ think I’ve seen them before. And the only woods like those that I’ve seen are on Belgium.”

“Pine trees,” Remus looked nauseous. “Your feet –”

“There was a – a wolf,” Elías explained to him. “And I was running from him –”

“A wolf or a _werewolf_?” Remus asked, seemingly scared of the answer.

“A werewolf,” Elías specified before quickly saying. “It wasn’t you.”

“How do you know?” Remus asked, hands rubbing at his thighs. “Did I follow you? Did I _hurt_ you? You were running, were… you scared? _Bollocks_ , of course you were scared –”

“It wasn’t _you_ ,” Elías insisted, hand moving to Remus’ shoulder, making him look up with those soft, pale green eyes. “Remus, I’d recognize your eyes anywhere.”

“My eyes change during the full moon,” Remus croaked.

“His were hazel, then almost _orange_ ,” Elías explained, shaking his head. “That wasn’t you, Remus. Neither your form, your eyes or your voice.”

“He spoke?” Severus asked.

“He, uh, chased me to a small wooden church in the middle of the woods. There were… bells ringing. Constantly,” Elías told the two of them, rubbing his throat, taking in a deep breath. “The wolf… reached into my throat.”

“He _what_?” Remus blinked.

“It felt like he was pulling something out? Like – nerves or my whole fucking bloodstream, it was _so_ weird, it… hurt but didn’t hurt,” Elías muttered. “And he pulled out like, a branch? This clean branch and presented it to me. Like he was simply helping me out? He was… bleeding, too. Gold. He bled gold _everywhere_ and I kept coughing up glass and sand at his feet.”

“What did he say?” Severus leaned forward, eyes narrowed.

“The bells mean nothing to me,” Elías muttered.

“Do those words mean anything to you?” Severus questioned and Elías turned to him, sighing and shaking his head. “Was the church familiar?”

“Not at all,” Elías shook his head. “I stopped going to church at thirteen.”

“Did the wolf mean religion? Was that it?” Remus asked.

“Maybe,” Elías muttered. “Maybe it’s not a muggleborn or a muggle. That could be a clue –muggles and muggleborns represent most of religious people. So it’d make sense that church bells mean nothing to like, you or Severus or a pureblood werewolf.”

“And you’ve never met any other werewolf?” Remus frowned.

“No,” Elías shook his head. “I haven’t. You’re the only one I know.”

“Perhaps it’s for the best,” Severus said, leaning back on the loveseat, rubbing his jaw in thought. “That way, every werewolf you meet anew can be examined for these clues.”

“He didn’t hurt me,” Elías told them both, voice a whisper. “I… I think he was trying to help me. I was scared of him but not – fuck, how can I explain? Like, I knew he was a monster but not because he was a wolf, it was something _else_.”

“It’s alright to be scared of a werewolf, Elías,” Remus sighed, hand shifting to gently grasp Elías’. “It’s a dangerous creature –”

“It wasn’t the wolf, it was the _person_ ,” Elías insisted, frowning deeply. “I know it was. I could feel me… scared of him, whomever it was. But he helped me.”

Remus looked doubtful and Severus chewed on the inside of his cheek, looking into his tea before Elías sighed.

“The church swallowed me,” he told them, hands on his lap, fiddling with the chord of his pajama pants. “And I… was floating. And it wasn’t the ocean, it was this… this disgusting freshwater place and there was someone below me, drowning, and there were… _things_ piling up on top of them, tearing them apart and making the water turn red.”

“You couldn’t see this person?” Severus rested his elbow on the arm of the chair, head dropping over his hand. “Not at all?”

“They were tall, that’s all I could see. The water was _very_ green,” Elías murmured, rubbing his nose, still fidgeting. “I tried to swim to them but those things killed them before I could. There was blood everywhere.”

“I’m sorry, Eli,” Remus whispered and Elías shook his head.

“I’m used to it,” he rasped, clearing his throat quickly. “When I… washed the blood from my eyes, I was back at Hogwarts. In – in front of the clocktower, the big pendulum. I was looking at the courtyard… and there was someone there, holding that old scientific journal that I was reading. _The Forbidden Art of Time_.”

“At Hogwarts?” Severus questioned, sitting up. “Who was it?”

“I don’t know,” Elías whispered, eyes far away. “They were right against the setting sun, all I saw was their silhouette and the letters of the damn book shining. I… kept hearing the bells. The bells wouldn’t stop. I was trying to cover my ears and this person, this man? I think it was a man, he turned to me but the floor broke a-and I just fell through.”

“The author of the book?” Remus suggested.

“Or perhaps someone who knew the author, someone who once went to Hogwarts,” Severus explained. “Could it have been Dumbledore?”

“Too tall,” Elías shook his head. “This was man _tall_. And had very, very long hair from what I could tell.”

“I see,” Severus only looked more frustrated. “Keep going?”

“I was in uh, sand,” Elías took in a shaky breath, hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. “It was crushing me. But I wasn’t – like, I was surrounded by sand, it was all around me but I was standing on that – that platform, with that power in my hands and – and – there was someone screaming my name? There was someone telling me to… let go.”

“Can you identify who?” Severus asked.

“I don’t know,” Elías whispered, shoulders hunched. “But… they sounded like they were crying. Like it was hurting them. Like I just _had_ to let go so I… I did. And I fell into the sand and then into the sea and – and then I was at the bay.”

Remus choked and Severus stood, moving to Elías, “The bay? The one that you’re afraid of?”

Elías nodded, feeling his lower lip tremble. “Y-yes.”

“Merlin, are you – no wonder you were –” Remus moved closer and pulled Elías to him, the Slytherin letting him surround him in tight arms, clutching at Remus’ borrowed shirt and trying to breathe deeply, in and out, panic seeping away.

“This n-nice couple was out at the bay,” Elías sniffled. “I w-was l-lucky.”

“Indeed,” Severus muttered, sitting on Elías’ other side and sighing. “Do you have any idea of what this whole thing could’ve been?”

Elías shook his head, sitting up straight, rubbing his head. “No idea. The bells… they just kept ringing. Over and over again. I felt this incredible… fear and _anger_ and sadness about them. They meant nothing to the wolf but they mean something to _me_ but I don’t know what it is yet.”

“So was that… a Sight?” Remus asked.

“Honestly?” Elías looked at his trembling hands. “I don’t know, Remus.”

* * *

Going back to Hogwarts felt a little surreal after the events of Saturday night. Elías walked through the halls and felt… off. There was no clanging of church bells and no lightheadedness but he still felt his ears ringing, building a steady headache through the day. He found himself hiding in his rooms, or at the very least wanting to, for the reminder of the day. In his rooms, he slipped into bed and covered himself with his blankets, leaving only a sliver of sight to watch the lake through the window, pondering the series of visions he’d had. He couldn’t stop thinking of that wolf.

Elías had patrol tonight, though, and if he wanted to look decent, he had to shower and eat and look at the very least presentable to Minerva, whom he was sharing patrol with.

So he did shower and get dressed and pulled his hair into some semblance of control, sitting on the couch of his rooms for a moment and staring for about an hour into the fire, rubbing his throat where he’d felt that clean, pale branch come from. He felt himself stand up and walk out of his rooms, like an outsider, recognizing in a faraway part of his brain that he was dissociating but unable to do anything about it, everything falling into pieces and shapes and things he could cut and put away for him not to be bothered.

Elías stood in front of the pendulum, watching it swing from side to side, his tired eyes tracking the movement and wondering why his Sight had taken him here. He remembered the book letters shining and the figure watching the courtyard, the sunset. Elías looked up towards the top of the clocktower, which had been closed since he could remember.

That figure… that book. A clock and time. But time was subjective, it was… a manmade concept. Time could be fast or slow. Time could heal wounds. Time could erase history and rewrite it. Elías wondered why the book had been here, in the very place where he stood now, in someone else’s hands. Had it been the mysterious author? Had it been someone else? How long had this pendulum been here? How come the book was now in Elías’ hands? How did it end in Estefanía’s Library? How come Elías had this gut feeling that it was important, that he had to read it, that there was _more_ , so much _more_ to it. He’d picked it up as a second thought in that bookshop but the moment he’d opened it – there was _something_.

He would’ve climbed the closed-off clocktower, very surely, if a hand hadn’t touched his arm and, like a spell being broken, Elías turned to Harry, the boy blinking hard at Elías, both of them startling. The pendulum swing behind Elías.

There were people here. There were _students_ passing by and walking towards the other side of the castle or the courtyard. There was _noise_ , there were… other things than the pendulum and clocktower and the book. Elías took in a deep breath, snapping out of it, hand rubbing his jaw and turning fully to the kid.

“Harry, hi,” he laughed, a bit forced. “What is it?”

“I’ve… been calling you, professor,” he said quietly and Elías swallowed.

“Ah, forgive me, I was in my own head, so many things going on,” Elías told him, giving Harry a kind smile. “Is there anything you need?”

“I was just worried,” he said, his green eyes expressive with worry. “You looked… sad.”

“Sad,” Elías murmured, running a hand through his face before sighing. “Sorry, Harry. I… had quite a day, yesterday, and I’m helping so many students. I’m a bit off, I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Are you alright, professor?” Harry asked quietly. “If – if I may ask?”

“Yes,” Elías nodded, glancing at the boy, taking a deep breath. “I’m alright. I’ll be alright. I was just a bit off last night, is all.”

“Alright,” Harry didn’t look like he believed him, adjusting his bag. “Uh… are there any news from the Ministry? Tonks told me it’d be either this week or the next.”

“Probably the next, because I haven’t received anything yet,” Elías explained, giving him a small smile. “Nervous?”

“Very much so,” he mumbled, biting on his thumb nail and looking around the students. “Could… could we talk in your office? I – I want to talk. About something.”

Elías blinked, surprised, hand moving to his chest so he could feel his heartbeat and let himself slowly come back down to earth, knowing that he was still mildly dissociating.

“Yes, of course,” Elías told him, clearing his throat. “Dinner is soon, though. How about you come by my office after dinner, Harry? Would that be alright?”

The kid nodded, sighing, “Thank you, sir. I’ll… see you after dinner.”

“See you later, Harry,” Elías murmured, watching him walk away, the pendulum now almost too loud behind him. Elías turned to it, chewing on his lower lip before walking away, like ripping off earplugs, ears popping. He hadn’t realized that, either, that they’d been… plugged.

Elías moved fast towards the dungeons, needing answers, knowing that Severus wouldn’t have them all but at the very least wanting to be next to someone in case his Sight went off, suddenly. He walked fast through the familiar halls of the ground floor, moving as quick as his legs allowed and before he knew it, he was running down the stairs of the dungeons and bursting into the dungeons, an irrational fear built into his throat.

“Sev?” he called, looking around, seeing the torches lit and some ingredients prepared, big pewter cauldron over the drain on the floor. “Sev?!” he called a bit louder, remembering the call, the blood, panic starting to seep deeper into Elías when the door of the office opened and the potions master walked out, frowning.

“Why are you shouting? I’m right _here_ ,” Severus told him, rolling his eyes.

“I – I called you and you didn’t answer,” Elías swallowed, relief making his knees almost fail as Severus approached him slowly, his arms crossed, a frown on his face. “S-sorry.”

“I said I was in the office,” he said and Elías blinked. “Didn’t you hear?”

“My ears… are ringing a bit,” Elías confessed. “Uh… plugged.”

Severus paused, eyes running over him, “Did you have a Sight?”

“No, I didn’t,” Elías shook his head. “I’ve just felt… off all day.”

“What do you mean by off?” the professor questioned, raising his hands and hesitating as he almost touched Elías’ face. Elías nodded, allowing him to open his eyes and inspect his pupils, then pull out his wand and cast a _lumos_ as he looked into his ears.

“I’ve been dissociating,” Elías confessed quietly. “I… snapped out of it because Harry called me. I was in the clocktower. In front of the pendulum. I can’t… I can’t remember getting there. Like, how I got from my rooms to the tower.” 

“Do you often dissociate?” Severus questioned.

“Not really,” Elías murmured. “Very seldom.”

“When do you?” Severus moved to his other ear, Elías blinking hard.

“When I… when I… get triggered,” Elías rasped and Severus paused, hand gripping Elías’ shoulder. “I think.”

“I see,” Severus walked to position himself in front of Elías, snapping his fingers, making Elías look at his hands, blinking. “You’re still dissociating, aren’t you?”

“I think so, yeah,” Elías rasped. “I can’t… hear very well.”

“How did you get here?” Severus questioned.

“I don’t know,” Elías breathed, hands limp at his sides.

“Very well, let’s ground you, then,” Severus sighed, pulling back his sleeves slightly before patting his desk, moving himself towards his supply closet. “Sit.”

Elías complied, having to make an effort to actually focus his eyes on Severus, mind drifting to that clocktower. He wanted to go there. He had… someone to talk to. He had to go talk to someone, who?

“Name five things you can see,” Severus told him as he walked back to him with something in his hands, standing in front of Elías, gaze on his.

“Your eyes,” Elías murmured, catching the soft torchlight in Severus’ eyes before he looked somewhere else. “The torches. The… the column on the right. A desk. A cauldron. A window.”

“Four things you can hear,” Severus nodded.

“You,” Elías took in a deep breath, closing his eyes before letting it all out. “The pipes. The water outside. The fire from the torches.”

“Three things you can feel,” Severus kept up and Elías looked down at his shaking hands, focusing on his fingertips first, finally feeling like he had a body, like he was back in his body.

“…the table,” he spoke, clearing his throat. “My clothes and – uh,” he looked around, trying to see something he could touch but the desk was clear so Elías reached out to grip gently Severus’ tunic, sighing with relief. “Your tunic.”

“Two things you can smell,” Severus murmured.

“The lake,” Elías whispered, watching the place where his hand held Severus’ tunic tight. “And pinewood.”

“And one thing you can taste,” Severus finished, lifting a hand and offering him a fresh, vivid rose petal, making Elías stare at it for a moment before parting his lips, letting the potions professor gently place it over his tongue, the pressure of a single finger grounding him fully.

“Rose,” Elías finished, breathing out, letting the petal stick to the roof of his mouth before swallowing it, watching Severus with a tiny smile. “Thank you.”

“I have a friend who frequently dissociates,” Severus explained. “She has trouble seeing what is real and what is not. This is the exercise we do whenever she pulls away from earth. I’m only relieved I could help.”

“You did help,” Elías nodded, hand falling from Severus’ clothes, chewing on his lower lip. “Sev, I think there’s something wrong with me. And it’s not just the dissociating episode or any of that. I… I think I’m not a seer, Sev. As you said yourself. I think I’m something else.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked, curious, his hands caging Elías on his desk.

“I don’t know, I just… I feel it,” Elías said and Severus stared. “I know! I know, fuck, like, I _know_. It’s so stupid but it’s true, alright?”

“If you feel so,” Severus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, straightening his back. “This is only getting more complex the deeper we dive. I’m dreading what else we might find if we do seek the answers you want.”

“I think I should at least finish the book,” Elías murmured. “ _The Forbidden Art of Time_. Remember that one?”

“Yes, you picked it from the library,” Severus nodded, frowning. “With the anachronism.”

“You two dismissed it,” Elías reminded him. “But I feel like I really shouldn’t.”

“You should finish Cassandra’s book first,” Severus told him, stern. “We need to verify that you are indeed not a seer before we can proceed with that assumption, Elías.”

“Right, right, shit, fuck, we’ve a fuckton of books,” Elías groaned, rubbing his face before he sighed. “I’ll honestly pour over them during the summer, since we’ve two and a half _months_ of fucking… vacations. Which is a lot.”

“It is,” Severus agreed, arms crossing. “Lupin could perhaps help, if he wants to, though I doubt he’ll be of any use.”

“Yeah,” Elías rubbed the side of his neck, thoughtful. “I feel like all we do is just raise more questions, though. If we had at least a little clue, somewhere to start…”

“We do. Seers,” Severus rolled his eyes. “Patience, Elías. You need _patience_.”

“Now you’re just being mean,” Elías pouted at him before Severus pulled on his ear, making him laugh. “You’re right, though, you’re right,” Elías sighed, nodding. “I do need more patience, and I need to read Cassandra’s book.”

“It might do you good to, there’s quite a lot of things in that book that… although I’m willing to believe only half of it, I do know for certain that there are things that might be useful to you and your Sight,” Severus hummed, stepping back. “Dinner?”

“Your place,” Elías yawned, stretching a bit, blinking. “Or wait. Shit, maybe not, I just remembered that after dinner, I promised Harry I’d speak with him.”

“Potter?” Severus frowned. “What is he doing now?”

“I don’t know,” Elías shrugged. “But it seemed important to him so I don’t think we could really go and have a meal the way we do.”

“Your house, then?” Severus suggested. “That way it’ll be easier to get to your office after we dine. And we could make a quick meal, nothing… elaborate.”

“Alright,” Elías gave in, smiling softly at the potioneer. “You know, I’m starting to think that you _actually_ enjoy having dinner with me.”

“Would that be so bad?” Severus questioned, cocking an eyebrow and Elías grinned widely.

“Not at all,” he laughed, nudging Severus’ foot with his own. “I do have to say – the moment Corban gets out of the hospital, we’ve to invite him more often to our dinners.”

“That, I can agree with,” Severus murmured, looking away. “In a week –”

“In the morning?” Elías asked.

“At noon,” he replied, taking a deep breath. “It’s been decided that he’ll stay with me at Spinner’s End. For a little while, at the very least.”

“Ah, I see,” Elías reached over for Severus’ arm, his right one, pulling him a bit closer. “That’s good! Is he going to spend the summer at yours, then?”

“We don’t know yet. Depends on how he feels,” Severus explained, allowing Elías to move him, watching the Spaniard. “I… I do also want him to leave the house, from time to time. I know it won’t be the best for him to room with an agoraphobic but… well,” he looked at the wall instead of Elías. “At the very least he’ll be with someone. In a smaller house, too.”

“That’s good,” Elías told him, comforting. “You guys can come by my place anytime, too, alright? We can make little barbecues in my backyard and drink too much lemonade. Summer is for happiness and seeing friends.”

“Summer is depressing,” Severus retorted, curling a lip. “And it will be _boiling_ in the south of Spain.”

“You’re still going it come,” Elías pointed out, poking Severus’ chest. “Because you love Corban and because you know it’s good for you both to get out.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t,” Severus grunted and Elías laughed.

“It’ll be fun. I _promise_ ,” Elías told him, standing, feeling like a person again, instead of a ghost watching his own body from afar. “Let’s go get dinner. I want to make sure I’m in my office before Harry arrives.”

* * *

“You’ve _got_ to stop thinking you can take on so many classes.”

“I’ll let you know, my exams are going _well_ , thank you very much for asking, _Blaise_.”

“I agree, man,” Ron told Blaise, who was rolling his eyes at Hermione, the little group of mixed Slytherins and Gryffindors eating on the Eastern Towers, since the night wasn’t too cold.

Harry was among them, touching his dinner with an unenthusiastic fork, not really part of the conversation, even if Theodore and Pansy were there as well, the latter having been very kind to him and his Astronomy homework in this last week. It was still strange to have them all here but Harry didn’t mind much, not when Hermione looked so happy and Ron was still absolutely his best friend. He didn’t mind having a larger group.

“Harry, come on,” Ron nudged him, making Harry look up.

“What?”

“You’ve been out of it all day, mate,” the redhead frowned. “Is something the matter?”

“I… it’s the exams,” he lied, rubbing his scarred forehead, catching Theodore’s eyes for a moment before looking away.

“You sure it isn’t about the whole adoption thing?” Pansy asked, always so nosy and perceptive, her eyes narrowing.

“Pansy!” Theodore scolded, kicking her leg a bit.

“What?! It’s normal to be nervous!” she defended, waving her hand in the general direction of Harry. “Especially when _Fudge_ is in on it! I know nothing of politics and I know he’s an _idiot_. Mother says so constantly!”

“He _is_ an idiot,” Blaise breathed, agreeing.

“It doesn’t matter, I have the final say,” Harry spoke up, resting his head on his hand, elbow on his knee, sighing. “But still, I… is it weird to say that I’m…”

He trailed off, not knowing exactly how to express himself, staring at his plate.

“…thinking it’s all gonna go to shit?” Blaise finished and Harry nodded. “Understandable.”

“Is it?” Harry laughed a bit, rubbing his nose as Ron shifted a bit closer, giving him an encouraging smile and nudge. “I feel like every time I get something nice, something horrible immediately follows.”

“That’s not true!” Hermione said quickly, eyes wide. “You deserve nice things, Harry!”

“You do,” Pansy nudged his knee. “Merlin, Potter, you’ve got _so much_ shit over your head already. A nice break would be proper nice, wouldn’t it?”

“ _Could_ I get a nice break?” Harry questioned, frowning, thinking of that grim always following him around. “What if I’m putting Professor Fernández in danger? He knows about Black, everyone does but… what if Black tries to hurt him? It’d be _my_ fault –”

“If Black hurts anyone, it’s literally anything _but_ your fault, Harry,” Ron told him, elbow moving to rest over Harry’s shoulder. “It’s Black who did all the bad things, you know. Not _you_. He’s the fanatic psychopath, _not_ you.”

“Also, if Professor Fernández was under attack, Professor Lupin would _surely_ be near,” Hermione spoke up. “And he’s the best professor at Hogwarts!”

“Yeah! I bet he knows all cool dueling tricks!” Ron grinned, making Harry smile a bit.

“No way!” Pansy puffed her cheeks, hands slapping over the stone of the floor. “Professor Snape is the best duelist at Hogwarts! You all saw him last year! Barely moved and Lockheart was spinning away!”

“It doesn’t take much to do that,” Ron said dryly. “It’s _Lockheart_.”

“Professor Snape would beat Black in a duel,” Pansy insisted. “Much more than Lupin!”

“How do you know?” Hermione countered, narrowing her eyes. “Professor Lupin is a great teacher and we all know Professor Snape has only _recently_ started to be _tolerable_ in class!”

“Doesn’t matter if he’s a great teacher or not, Hermione, because he _is_ a great duelist,” Pansy stated firmly. “I’ve seen it!”

“You have?” Theodore looked over at her, surprised. “Because _I_ haven’t.”

“He’s teaching Professor Fernández,” she smirked widely as she revealed it and Ron’s eyebrows shot up, Harry looking surprised. “Isn’t it _romantic_?” she sighed happily, making Theodore grin.

“No,” Blaise stated firmly. “Professor Snape would _never_ –”

“Shut up, you always ruin my fun,” Pansy slapped a hand over Blaise’s shoulder, making Hermione giggle. “I’ve told you all, time and time again, it’s going to happen! I know it will!”

“You all are taking this way too far,” Ron made a face of disgust. “Especially _Snape_. I don’t want to know anything about him at all.”

“Plus, it’s probably Professor Lupin he’s with,” Hermione added lightly.

“He’s a _Gryffindor_ ,” Theodore stated, making Hermione give him an unimpressed look. “Like, no offense, Hermione, but I would _never_ date a Gryffindor. Friendship is one thing, but _dating_? Eugh!”

“You’re all so obtuse,” Blaise told them all, rolling his eyes. “Potter is obviously worried about his adoption and the ramifications of having a killer on the loose and here you all are, discussing our professor’s _love life_. And in _any case_ , I would rather he stay as far away from Professor Snape as possible.”

“You’re still on about that, huh?” Theodore sighed, rubbing his face.

“Don’t trust the bloke,” Blaise locked his jaw, eyes narrowed. “I don’t like that he’s taken such an interest in you or Potter. I think he’s up to something.”

“I think he’s fine,” Ron stated, rubbing Harry’s back as the thirteen year old chewed on his lower lip. “He’s a good man!”

“I told him that I wanted to talk, after dinner,” Harry told everyone and they all turned to him with varying degrees of surprise. “I’m gonna tell him about the grim.”

“Oh, not _again_ ,” Hermione groaned.

“Right, you told us you were seeing the grim,” Theodore frowned.

“The grim doesn’t exist,” Blaise stated. “It was probably just a stray dog around.”

“Thank you!” Hermione threw her hands up.

“You’re all wrong,” Pansy frowned. “A grim is nothing to be taken lightly, alright? Especially if it’s affecting Harry.”

“Thanks, Pansy,” Harry murmured, making her nod and cross her arms. “I just want to ask, you know? Because he said that he got an O in Divination, so – so he _must_ know something, right? Anything but Trelawney.”

“He’s spiritual, yeah,” Theodore nodded. “He might tell you something.”

“Want us to go with you?” Ron asked him, nudging Harry.

“I wouldn’t want to have too many people, isn’t that rude?” Harry frowned.

“We’re going with you,” Theodore said firmly and Hermione leaned towards Harry.

“Even if I don’t believe in it, I’ll go with you, Harry,” she said, hand moving over his, squeezing and Harry gave her a small smile.

“Thank you, ‘Mione. That means a lot,” he murmured, squeezing her hand back with a smile.

“I suppose we’re all going,” Blaise sighed, arms crossing, looking at Harry. “If he pulls out a divination ball, I will lose my marbles. I’m warning you.”

“If he did, I would as well,” Harry confessed.

“He’s not Trelawney,” Pansy stood, offering a hand at Ron, who took it to stand up, too, almost a head taller than Pansy. “Let’s go, then?”

“Let’s go,” Harry nodded, the lot of them piling their now empty or almost empty plates on a side for one of the workers to come by, at the very least throwing the crumbs out of the window, then heading for the Astronomy Tower. “Are any of you good at Divination?”

A unanimous _no_ went around the group and Harry sighed, wishing that he could have a normal conversation with Parvati or Lavender. Those two were huge gossipers, though, and in no time the entire school would know that he indeed had seen a grim and would… very probably die this year, like Trelawney had predicted.

Which mean in this month or the next.

“I wouldn’t believe Trelawney with the grim stuff,” Theodore told Harry as he walked beside him, making Harry look unsure at him. “She’s, y’know. Dramatic. I’m sure when we ask Professor Fernández, he’ll tell you that in another culture it means something else. And that it’s like, actually something that means good luck.”

“You think?” Harry asked, a bit skeptic.

“I know it,” he nudged him. “You’ll see.”

The little group began to climb up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, their voices echoing around the barren walls and just as they were about to pass the personal rooms of Professor Fernández, the door opened and out walked Professor Snape, making them all pause with slight fear. Harry, at the head, next to Theodore, visibly swallowed when his eyes met Snape’s.

“You lot,” he spoke in a hiss, arms crossing, glaring at the group. “Might I ask what on _Earth_ are you all doing here so late?”

“Sev,” Professor Fernández chided as he walked out of his rooms, closing the door. “Don’t be rude, yeah? I asked Harry to come to my office, it’s only normal for his friends to want to come.”

“So many of them?” Snape looked unimpressed, almost annoyed.

“Yes, so many of them because they like me and I’m just a _joy_ to be around,” Professor Fernández grinned at him and Snape rolled his eyes. “Leave. Now it’s my turn with the children. Go off.”

“I will see you tomorrow, then,” was all the potions professor said before moving like a bat between Harry’s friends, robes billowing behind him. Pansy elbowed Theodore and wiggled her eyebrows and Theodore snickered.

“Well, Harry, I didn’t expect a troupe, but I’m happy to see all of you,” Fernández spoke up, hands on his hips and Harry looked down at the floor.

“Sorry, sir,” he mumbled.

“Harry’s worried and we’re his friends,” Hermione stated, arms moving around his elbow. “So we’re all going with him.”

“That’s right,” Ron nodded, moving to Harry’s other side.

“Very well,” Fernández smiled, nodding. “Let us all get to my office. Better than these stairs.”

Their little troupe moved up the tower to the familiar classroom and Harry looked over at the open arches leading to the platform at the top, where he could see various telescopes set up. He’d never really been interested in Astronomy and he wondered if Professor Fernández would have a lot of astronomy instruments at his house. He wondered what type of house someone like him had. Was it muggle? Was it wizarding? How was Spain like, even? Leaving England made him a bit nervous.

“So,” Fernández spoke, making them all turn to him. “What is it, then?”

“I…” Harry looked over at his friends, feeling Hermione’s hand gently move to his, giving him encouragement. “You um, mentioned that you were good at Divination, right?”

The professor looked baffled for a moment, staring at Harry before looking around all of them, adopting a little frown, arms crossing.

“Yes,” he finally said, watching Harry. “Why?”

“Trelawney keeps saying that she sees the grim around me,” he blurted out, Fernández’s eyebrows raising as Harry just spilled it. “And – and I see it, too! I see the grim everywhere! I see it by the Forbidden Forest, I saw it when the summer ended, I saw it in the first game and – and I keep seeing it everywhere! And –”

“Harry, _Harry_ ,” Fernández quickly soothed him, hands moving to his shoulders, leaning down a bit to get to his level. “Harry, I’m going to need you to breathe, alright?”

Harry did, inhaling and exhaling, watching the professor with embarrassment.

“Am I going to die, professor?” he asked quietly.

“No, you’re not!” Hermione squawked.

“No, you’re not,” Fernández said softly and Harry felt his shoulders sinking. “The grim doesn’t exist, Harry. It’s just an old British folktale. You’re probably seeing the black stray dog that’s recently taken residence in the Black Forest. He’s friends with Crookshanks –”

“I saw him with Crookshanks!” Harry gasped.

“I found Crookshanks with him, don’t worry, Harry,” Fernández soothed and Harry felt like his entire torment had been for _nothing_. Professor Fernández had seen it. He wasn’t insane, it wasn’t – he’d _seen the dog_. But – all the way from Privet Drive, too? Or had that been another stray dog that just so happened to be black as well? “You were really worried about this, weren’t you?”

“How couldn’t he?!” Hermione cried out, holding Harry’s arm tightly. “Professor Trelawney keeps telling him he’s going to die!”

“I’ll talk to her,” Fernández sighed, rubbing his stubbly jaw. “That’s why you asked me about Divination? It’s not all just… wild conjectures, Harry. I’m sorry this was your experience.”

“I just want everyone to stop assuming things about me,” he confessed, scrunching up his nose, annoyed. “Everyone uses me, one way or another. I’m pretty tired of it.”

“I’m sure you are,” Fernández looked at him with sympathy and understanding, making Harry relax a bit. “Well, rest assured that this black dog is really not a grim. I’ve actually been around him quite some times and he’s proper friendly, hmm? No imminent death here.”

“Alright,” Harry sighed, rubbing his nose. “Thanks, professor.”

“It’s no problem,” he smiled.

He looked much better than earlier in the evening, when his eyes had been distant and almost discolored. Like he was back in shape. Harry wondered what illness he had that kept making him faint around the castle and made him watch the clocktower with milky eyes. Surely Hermione would know.

“Now, all of you should get to bed, alright?” Fernández urged, the group starting to move. “It’s getting late and now that you know the truth, I’m sure you’ll sleep better, yeah?”

“I hope so,” Harry mumbled before he felt Professor Fernández ruffling his hair.

Harry liked that gesture. It made him feel human.

“Go on, get to bed,” Fernández called, ushering them away but before they all could leave, Theodore turned to the Astronomy professor.

“Hey, sir?” he asked, making Elías look at him. “Have you got any news on Corban? Is he coming out soon?”

“Next week,” he smiled and the Slytherins all grinned at each other, looking relieved. Harry, Hermione and Ron still didn’t know who this Corban was, but Harry knew he was important to them. “I’ll actually be helping Severus with dinner that night. Hopefully you all will be able to come.”

“Father said I could!” Pansy announced, smiling.

“Then I hope you like Japanese,” Fernández laughed.

“I do!” she wrapped her hand around Theodore’s arm, looking excited. Ron whispered something to Hermione that Harry couldn’t hear. “Goodnight, sir!”

“Night, professor,” Harry murmured.

Their group went down the stairs, talking among each other.

“Who’s Corban?” Ron dared to finally ask.

“Friend of our parents,” Blaise explained. “He was in the hospital.”

“Oh, what happened?” Ron blinked.

“Not ours to tell,” Theodore told Ron softly, giving him a lopsided smile. “Sorry, mate.”

“Ah, it’s fine,” he waved it off. “Sorry he was in the hospital. I’m glad he’ll get out soon.”

“Thank you, Ron,” Pansy gave him a genuinely grateful look and Harry wondered when exactly it’d all changed that they were all exchanging polite talk after dinner. That they were all willingly hanging out. He knew things had changed but somehow, they felt almost wild – and it’d all started with Theodore apologizing.

Maybe this was better, Harry thought, looking over his shoulder towards the Astronomy Tower and pondering about the professor residing there. He’d made a lot of changes since he’d arrived, both with the students and professors. Harry wondered if Fernández would help him, too.


	71. The Good News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Didn't update yesterday because these transition chapters are kind of hard to write? There's a very distinct pace that they need and I understand that not a LOT is happening but they're necessary for the things about to come. We're reaching the very end of the first round, y'all, we're so close to June...
> 
> Songs in this Chapter:  
> \- Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana
> 
> Trigger Warnings in this Chapter:  
> \- Kurt Cobain's suicide (which happened in April of 1994. This fact crushes me).  
> \- Hospital Mention  
> \- Alcoholism  
> \- AA Meetings  
> \- Missing Eye mention  
> \- Mentions of depression, death and the like (Warnings for Corban's past, basically)

In the week it took for Elías to finish Cassandra’s book, the exams began to slow and the N.E.W.T.s started to come to an end. The school was a bit more tired, a bit more winded but most of the students seemed determined to finish. Elías, meanwhile, kept reading deep into the night, feeling more and more and _more_ like he had nothing to do with seers. It frustrated him to no end, reading about this supposed Inner Eye that Elías had _not_. He didn’t have the insane luck that seers possessed, the inkling of the future, the perfect gut feeling where things never turned out wrong for him.

“This is _bullshit_ ,” Elías stated at two in the morning, having finished the entire book, closing it with a resolute _thud_ and throwing it to the other side of the bed, nearly smacking Sirius’ shin with it as he played some quiet guitar.

“Whoa there, angel,” Sirius blinked, laughing. “What’s got you like that?”

“Seers! Seers are bullshit! Apparently, I’m not a seer!” Elías threw his hands up into his hair and just pulled on it a bit, groaning. “I hate this. I hate everything.”

“Doesn’t that help you confirm that you are _not_ a seer?” Sirius frowned, taking the book and opening it to run his gaze through some pages, humming. “Proper confirmation is nice. Moony told me that you were struggling with that.”

“Yeah,” Elías rubbed his face. “But it still doesn’t explain _shit_.”

“Like your weird trip last week?” Sirius snorted.

“Like my weird trip last week,” Elías muttered, blinking hard, feeling his exhausted eyes refuse to focus. “I just want answers, Sirius. Is that so much to ask for?”

“Apparently,” Sirius put down the guitar and slid closer to Elías, nudging his foot. “You came around ten and just read for four straight hours, angel. Maybe that’s something to do with it, huh?”

“Yeah,” Elías laughed, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry, I – I tend to just hyperfocus or not focus at all.”

“Oh, I feel that,” Sirius chuckled.

“Sorry I’ve been such a bore here,” Elías murmured. “Not the best companion.”

“It’s fine,” Sirius shrugged. “I mean, any company is welcome when I’m… just stuck here. Like another prison.”

Elías felt his stomach churn, “I’m sorry, Sirius. Can’t believe you went from Azkaban to this shithole. You deserve much better.”

“I’m not too bothered,” Sirius ran a hand through his hair, humming. “Not when I know we’re almost there, you know? In no time I can leave and… go back home. And properly meet Harry again and all those fun things Remus and you promised me.”

“We can do all the fun things,” Elías nodded, smiling. “Like going out for drinks, you and me. You gotta show me London, huh?”

“Oh, I _definitely_ will,” Sirius grinned widely. “Moony can show you all the nerdy, cultural shite but _I_ will show you all the real fun places that you can go to.”

“If they’re not changed or shut down,” Elías added and Sirius wrinkled his nose.

“Fuck. Right,” Sirius laughed. “Well, I’m pretty sure some will be open. Punk can never die.”

“Oh, _sweetheart_ ,” Elías giggled into his hand. “Oh, you _sweet_ summer child.”

“Punk can never die,” Sirius stated, glaring at Elías not too seriously.

“Punk’s dead,” Elías told him softly, patting his knee. “Corporations killed it.”

“ _No_ ,” Sirius breathed, horrified. “No way! Dead Kennedy’s?”

“Dissolved,” Elías said solemnly.

“The Clash?! Crass?! Ramones?!” he cried out, eyes wide.

“Those are all fucked – dissolved. Ramones is still going but honestly? I give them two to three years, at _most_ ,” Elías told him, laughing a bit.

“What about Black Flag? Misfits?” Sirius looked desperate.

“Oh, actually, they’re still going,” Elías laughed as Sirius fell to the mattress on his front, groaning with relief. “I am _so sorry_ , Padfoot. The Buzzcocks, the Stooges and the Exploited are still going.”

“I was never a fan of the Stooges,” Sirius mumbled, turning his head to look miserably at Elías. “So there are no new punk bands? No more anarchists in London?”

“Oh, there’s always anarchy in London, lurking somewhere,” Elías reassured, making Sirius smile a bit. “Punk is now much more underground than it was in the 70s, though.”

“But that’s how it should be,” Sirius frowned. “Like, punk _is_ underground. It just so happened to come to the spotlight for a while and corporations wanted to get a hold of them so much. Now that it’s more underground, it should be _better_.”

“Grunge took over the scene, I’m not gonna lie,” Elías told him.

“Grunge?” Sirius frowned. “What’s that?”

“Oh my Gods, that’s _right_ , you – you’ve never heard Nirvana,” Elías’ eyes widened, a huge smile taking over his face. “Oh, actually, I’m very glad you didn’t. It wouldn’t have hurt you.”

“A band?” Sirius sat up.

“Yeah, one of my favorites,” Elías murmured, sighing. “Really anti-system, criticized a lot of what people consider to be just part of life. They were really pro-queer.”

“Sounds like they broke up,” Sirius’ eyebrows raised.

“I wish they had, no,” Elías winced. “Frontman killed himself this April.”

“Oh shit,” Sirius blinked. “Sorry, angel.”

“I looked up to that man a lot, it was shit, not going to lie,” Elías told him before sighing loudly. “But – well, his legacy goes on and all that. You wanna hear one of my favorite songs? I feel like you’d like their music.”

“Sure! Yeah, lay it on me,” Sirius nodded, looking mildly excited and Elías grinned before the electric guitar began to play, a riff that had Sirius’ eyebrows slowly rising. “Alright…?”

“ _She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak_ ,” Elías didn’t sing, simply let Kurt Cobain’s voice fill the room. “ _I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks_.”

Sirius closed his eyes for a second but then opened them again quickly, staring at the ceiling, his arms moving behind his head while Elías also got comfortable leaning against the post of the bed.

“ _I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap. I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black…_ ”

The guitars, bass and drums flooded in and Elías watched Sirius grin, his eyes sparkling, making him feel for the first time in a long time that someone _got it_. He hadn’t had a kindred soul in music since college and it was _so good_ to see Sirius enjoying it.

“ _Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint! For-ever in debt to your priceless advice! Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint! Fooor-ever in debt to your priceless adviiice…_ ”

“This is brilliant,” Sirius breathed, turning to Elías. “What was their name?”

“Nirvana,” Elías grinned. “This is Nirvana.”

“Nirvana,” Sirius repeated, nodding to himself. “I’ll catch some of their records, if I see them. Merlin, there must be _so many bands_ that I haven’t heard.”

Elías stopped the music and nodded rapidly, “Yeah! Like _fuck_ , dude, Rage Against the Machine or _Green Day_. Or Rancid! Or the Offspring! And there’s others that like, _fuck_ , dude, have you ever heard Guns N’ Roses? Or Bon Jovi? _The Smiths_?!”

“None of those are familiar at all,” Sirius was beaming so widely that Elías just had to laugh. “You gotta show me all of them, angel.”

“Oh, I definitely _am_ ,” Elías breathed, excited. “Especially the Smiths, they’re one of my _favorites_. Well, it was one of my favorites but I don’t really listen to them that much. Green Day is popping the _fuck_ off lately, though, and you gotta – oh, _fuck it_ , listen to this! This came out last – well, two years ago now but it’s _amazing._ ”

Elías began to play songs. Just – song after song after song, talking about music and bands and influences and themes and lyrics. And Sirius kept up, giving him his own input on certain songs and albums, talking to him about EP’s that he had tucked into his shelves, the songs that changed him.

They talked of Fleetwood Mac, of Queen and Bowie and the Eagles and everything that Elías didn’t get to with anyone else well into the night. Elías knew that he would regret it tomorrow, not sleeping as much as he needed to, but he didn’t mind when Sirius was showing him how he played a certain riff or how he interpreted Bohemian Rhapsody. The two laid in the old, uncomfortable mattress of the Shrieking Shack and just poured over music, punk, politics and the like. And Elías didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep but he knew he did it without the stress that had come from finishing Cassandra’s book.

* * *

The last days of final exams took a toll on everyone – especially the O.W.L. takers. They began and finished before they knew it and soon, Elías had their hours empty in his schedule, looking at more free time that he didn’t know how to manage, save for rereading Cassandra’s book just in case he’d missed something else and preparing for Corban’s hospital release, along with all the other lessons and compromises that he had along the week.

One of them being going at night to show Sirius a new artist, a new band, something he hadn’t heard before. Another being Severus’ back-breaking lesson on Monday. And the last one being a quite calm and refreshing outing to the British Museum with Remus on Tuesday night.

So when Friday came and Elías realized that he had no lessons in the morning and no lessons at night, he smiled into his pillow, sighing happily, relaxed into his mattress as the slightly warmer climate settled around him. He still had to use blankets in May and he thought it was absolute bullshit but he couldn’t do much about it but simply lay there and realize that a full year had passed since he decided to start doing something about his Sights.

It’d been almost an entire year since he’d sucker-punched Carrow into a wall. An entire year since Dumbledore had showed up to him and asked him whether he had any fond memories of Hogwarts to think of. An entire godsdamn year since Elías had accepted, for lack of any other direction that his life could go to.

It’d been a good decision, on hindsight.

Elías went through his morning routine, not wanting to laze around and find himself missing breakfast and/or possibly lunch. He pulled his hair into a braid after his shower, buttoned up his shirt, slipped into his books and nearly ran over Harry Potter and his little friends as he opened the door of his rooms to the Astronomy Tower.

“Whoa, whoa!” he laughed, hands in front of himself at their excitement. “What’s going on?!”

“Harry just received an owl!” Hermione said, eyes sparkling with happiness.

“It’s from the Ministry of Magic!” Harry told him quickly, shoving the letter at Elías, who took the crumpled parchment paper with a good feeling, reading over it. “From Tonks! She said that I – I can choose now!”

“Wait, wait,” Elías held out a hand, laughing when Harry took it, his green vibrant eyes bright. “I didn’t get a letter yet, why didn’t I get my letter? It should tell me of my eligibility –”

“You mean this one?”

Elías looked up, the kids turning around to see Remus holding a still-closed, talon-ripped letter with a little smile on his face.

“That owl was uh, a bit adamant about getting a treat,” he said, passing by the kids before handing it to Elías. “Since you weren’t at breakfast –”

“I was on my way,” Elías laughed, ripping open the letter and the trio of Gryffindors crowded around the two professors, trying to look.

“It’s in Spanish!” Ron cried out.

“Very sorry about that,” Elías teased before his eyes ran over the letters, his heartbeat picking up as he realized that he’d been cleared, the Spanish Ministry of Magic approved of this adoption and the British Ministry of Magic awaited him the day after the last day of school to do all the necessary paperwork for Harry to be officially adopted, if the kid chose him. “Oh my Gods.”

“What? What?!” Harry gasped.

“I’m cleared!” Elías announced, making Hermione shriek and nearly bulldoze over Harry, Ron laughing as he slapped Harry’s back, too. Harry looked _stunned_ on the spot, eyes wide, looking between his friends and the professors.

“Congratulations,” Remus nudged Elías, making him grin widely. “I knew you could do it.”

“So I – is that it?” Harry asked, swallowing hard. “I don’t… have to go with anyone I don’t want?”

“It’s your choice now, Harry,” Elías told him, hand moving to his shoulder and squeezing kindly. “Whomever you choose, whomever you want to go with? That’s _your_ choice. No one, absolutely no one can take that away from you. Not me, not the Ministry, not Hogwarts and definitely not your uncle or aunt. This is _yours_ to decide.”

“I’m going _with you_ ,” Harry burst out, arms moving around Elías, startling the professor for a moment, looking down at the kid just hugging the life out of him. “I don’t want to go with anyone who hasn’t even _talked_ to me! I want to go with you!”

“Hey, _hey_ , Harry, alright,” Elías wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulders, eyes burning a bit, petting his hair with something stuck in his throat. “I want you to come with me, too. I – it’ll be fun!” he laughed a bit wetly. “It’ll be so much fun, this summer. We can go on that IKEA trip with Hermione and Ron, we can go to the beach, have lots of barbecues, and you could go anytime with the Weasley’s and Granger’s, if you want!”

“You finally have no excuse about not doing your homework during the summer,” Hermione pointed out as Harry pulled away, making Ron give Harry a pitying look while Remus gave a laugh.

“It wasn’t an excuse! I couldn’t do it, ‘Mione!” Harry laughed, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses.

“This summer will be _great_ ,” Ron gushed, arm moving around Harry’s neck, pulling him closer. “We can hang all day! If – if, er, that’s okay with you, sir,” he quickly looked at Elías.

“I’ll message your parents to manage a floo network between my house and yours,” he assured as Harry grinned widely, looking at both Hermione and Ron with such happiness that Elías almost bawled his eyes out, quickly grasping Remus’ arm to get a grip. “Do message Tonks, then. The sooner we do it, the fast the paperwork will be, alright, Harry?”

“Alright,” he nodded, beaming at Elías. “Is – where do you live? In Spain? You never told me and I know Spain has a lot of beaches.”

“San Fernando,” he replied. “It’s the south of Spain. I hope you like it.”

“It’ll be hot,” Ron remarked.

“Really?” Harry turned to him, frowning. “How far south is it?”

“I dunno,” the redhead shrugged and Elías began to laugh into his hand.

“You’ll see in June, anyway,” he told him, gently brushing Harry’s hair out of his eyes. “We’ll get you a nice bed, all the shelves you need and a broom stand for your Firebolt, yeah? And a proper desk, since you’ll actually be doing your homework, it seems,” he teased.

“Alright, alright,” Remus called as the kids laughed. “Get that letter going, Harry, yes? And soon you can settle in your new home.”

“I will!” Harry grinned, looking at Hermione. “Would you help me –”

“Yes, let’s go!” she urged, grabbing his and Ron’s hands before pulling them away from the Astronomy Tower, Elías’ eyes bright as he turned to Remus.

“ _Remus_ ,” he breathed, hands over his mouth.

“Congratulations,” Remus said before Elías just burst out laughing and threw himself at Remus, the werewolf nearly falling over before joining Elías as well, arms around him, swaying them from side to side. “You did it!”

“ _We_ did it! You helped me, too!” he said, hands moving to Remus’ face before smooching his cheek. “Thank you, thank you, _thank you_!”

“I did _nothing_ ,” Remus flushed with embarrassment.

“You kept me afloat, alright?” Elías grinned. “I can’t wait to tell Sirius. Oh, I can’t _wait_.”

“You should probably tell your family first,” Remus chuckled and Elías’ eyes widened.

“Right! Right, fuck, shit! I – fuck it, I’m going to Brussels right now,” he looked at his watch as Remus blinked at him. “Ma is probably at home studying French and I’m pretty sure my father took a one-week vacation. You wanna come?”

“To… Brussels?” Remus asked, baffled.

“Yeah,” Elías nodded. “My parents live there.”

“I – actually, I’d _love_ to go, I’ve been told it’s beautiful but ha, _ha_ , I’ve got class? With my Second Years? And exam with my Third Years,” he chuckled.

“Oh, right! Right, I’m an idiot,” Elías laughed, hand running through his hair, grinning at Remus. “I’ll bring you some chocolate, alright?”

“That’d be delightful,” Remus smiled, hand moving to gently squeeze Elías’ arm. “I’m very glad that this all went well. You two – Harry and you deserve to have this go well.”

“Thank you, Remus,” Elías beamed at him, moving towards the kitchen. “I’ll see you in the afternoon!”

He slipped into the chimney, quickly throwing some floo powder at his feet before stumbling into the familiar living room of the Montgomery house in Brussels, tripping over all the godsdamn pots his mother insisted on putting there.

“Gods fucking damn it!” he cursed, nearly falling face-first on the floor.

“ _Language!_ ” his mother immediately scolded, walking from the kitchen to the living room. “Elías, how many _times_ do I have to tell you not to curse?!”

“You put the pots in front of the chimney and I nearly broke my neck!” Elías waved his hands at the bunch of flowers. “Oh, you got lavenders…”

“Yes, yes, I did!” she huffed, moving to settle them right before turning to him and pulling him in for a hug. “Hi, darling.”

“Hi, ma,” he smiled, arms moving around her, hugging her tightly.

“What brings you here? Don’t you have classes?” she asked.

“Not today!” he grinned, hands moving to brush her hair out of her eyes. “I’ve got really good news, ma.”

“Do you?” she smiled back, watching him with kind, warm brown eyes. “Did you get a raise?”

“No!” he laughed, shaking his head. “No, no, I got cleared by the Ministry of Magic. Both Spanish and English. Harry’s coming with us.”

She blinked, surprised before her face lit up, “That’s wonderful, Eli!”

“Isn’t it?!” Elías grinned. “I’m so glad you’re happy, too.”

“I’m apprehensive, if anything, but I’m _very_ glad that the boy has a family. I’m glad that you’re going to, you know, be a parent,” she explained, hands moving to cup Elías’ face. “I won’t lie, I’ve wanted to be a grandma for a while.”

“You’re going to spoil him, aren’t you?” Elías snickered.

“If he lets me,” she countered, making Elías smile. “We need to meet him, then!”

“I was thinking,” Elías began softly. “That after we pick up his luggage in England, I could maybe drive here? To Brussels, I mean. Since you two are going to San Fernando in June by airplane and pa was wondering about whether to drive or not – well, I could drive Harry and I down? It’d be a nice roadtrip. And when you two get there by air, I would have your car there.”

“That’s a nice idea, yeah,” she nodded, hands moving to adjust Elías’ collar and button more of his shirt, making him chuckle. “Talk to your father about it. I have no quarrel with that but I think you should first tell him. You know how nervous he gets when his plans are changed.”

“Yes, ma,” he replied obediently, hand moving to grip her thin, bony wrist. “Hey. I’m going to stay for lunch. Would you like us to take a walk around?”

“You could?” her eyes lit up, a brilliant smile taking over.

“Yeah!” Elías nodded, laughing. “Let’s go around Woluwe Saint-Pierre, alright? Have some beer, talk about you and pa here. How about it?”

“That’d be great,” she breathed and Elías saw the utter happiness in her face, making him feel grateful. His mother didn’t take too well that he and his sister were in different countries. She had a bit of an empty-nest syndrome and Elías would gladly spend his morning with her. “We should talk about all the things you’ll need for his room!”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Elías went towards the closet for his spare coat, hearing the rain outside and smiling at the familiar sounds of Brussels. “Let’s go?”

“Let’s go,” she nodded, taking her coat as well.

* * *

St Mungo’s Hospital was a drab, sad, depressing place and Corban knew it from top to bottom by now, the detox ward. He knew every nurse, every witch and wizard, every nook and cranny and by the time he was finally ready to get out of this place, his one-month-clean chip was nearly worn from his rubbing between his fingers.

He sat on the waiting room, wearing his normal clothes, his boots and his robes, his hair back in a more or less orderly fashion as he looked at his coin, so shiny still. He’d earned it two days ago and he’d been staring at it a lot. He felt almost greedy, watching it. It wasn’t real gold, not at all but the value of it was incalculable.

It meant another chance. Another… opportunity to try his damnest to be better, to be _sober_. Not just for Philippa and Jane and Severus and the rest of his friends but for _himself_ as well. Corban was tired of the drunken stupors, of the headaches, the hangovers, the bile in the back of his throat, the endless nights trying not to fall into despair in the nursery.

It’d been strange, to go back to St. Mungo’s for detox. He hadn’t done it in years but he knew it’d been for the best when Severus had recommended it. Every one of his friends had been incredibly supportive of him, too, and although being back here had been hard, he knew the hardest part was yet to come – staying sober indefinitely.

He scratched a bit at his eyelid, wincing. Having the glass eye out was strange but sometimes it became too much to have it there for long periods of time. He was used to take it off from time to time and here in the hospital, he hadn’t worn it all month. He wanted to put it back on soon –

“Corban!” he heard an excited, familiar voice call and he looked up, surprised to see Elías waving enthusiastically. He was here?

“Elías,” he smiled softly, then wider when he saw Severus, Lucius and Will arrive, standing and walking towards them. “Hey…” he murmured.

“Hi!” the Spaniard in his never-ending enthusiasm rushed to him and gave him a tight hug, making Corban’s breath hitch for a moment, so unused to people being so touchy-feely the way he was.

He… he liked that Elías was affectionate.

“Hi,” he laughed a bit, hugging Elías back, surprised that he hadn’t been put off by his missing eye. “You’re just that happy to see me, huh?” he teased, pulling back to see him grin.

“Yes! I’m so glad you’re here!” the Spaniard replied, so incredibly honest that Corban wanted to smash his head against the wall. He didn’t know when was the last time that he’d believed something like that, that someone could… actually be happy to be around him. Around his alcoholic, depressed, useless self.

“Hello,” Will also smiled as he came by and, surprising Corban as well, he gave him a full hug, making Corban exhale sharply. “It’s so good to have you back,” Will whispered into his ear.

“Thanks,” Corban croaked, receiving hugs from Lucius and even Severus, making his hands almost shake as he finally pulled back from them. “I-It’s good to be back.”

“We got your bags all ready at Severus’,” Elías announced, leaning against Lucius a bit. “Lucy-loo here almost pulled your entire fucking bedroom out to get it there.”

“Lucy- _what_?” Lucius snarled at him.

“You did do that,” Will chuckled.

“Don’t amuse him, too!” Lucius called, ever the drama-queen, making Corban smile. He’d missed his friends. “Look, I merely wanted you to be comfortable.”

“He will be,” Severus cocked an eyebrow. “He’ll be with me.”

“You’re as comforting as a cactus,” Lucius threw.

“At least I don’t overly coddle my guests the way you do,” Severus snorted.

“Alright, alright, _guys_ ,” Elías laughed, moving between them both. “Enough fighting. Corban just got out, give him time without being mediator, yeah?”

“I missed you all so much,” Corban laughed into his hand and Severus rolled his eyes before reaching for Corban’s bag, throwing it over his shoulder. “So uh, where are we going?”

“To my house first,” Severus told him as they all walked to the front doors, to leave. To _leave_. Corban gripped his coin tight enough to hurt. “You can settle down, have a normal shower, have some coffee and then we can go to Kiera and Felix’s.”

“The kids are free to come, too!” Elías added, grinning and Corban felt his shoulders sink with relief and happiness.

“Yeah?” he rasped, tired. “Are – how are they doing?”

“They just finished their exams. Pansy got an O in Astronomy!” Elías announced. “Theo had a bit of a hard time but he passed! And the rest did very well, too! Vince surprised me so much with this last exam, he’s done _so_ good.”

“That’s our kids,” Corban felt his lips pull up into a smile.

“Draco failed History,” Lucius sighed and Corban laughed. “ _Again_.”

“Guess those summer lessons will keep happening, huh?” Corban said, amused.

“He needs to learn,” Severus stated, unimpressed. “He’s been too focused on Quidditch.”

“That last loss crushed him, Sev, be a bit more understanding,” Elías chided and Corban frowned. “I agree that he should focus on school work but also have time for what he loves.”

“Quite,” Lucius sighed. “The summer lessons will stay.”

“Just let him wake up a bit later,” Corban suggested, making Lucius look over. “Around nine or so. Doesn’t need to wake up at _seven_ in the summers. It’ll be nice for him and he’ll be more awake and pay more attention.”

“That’s a very good suggestion,” the man smiled, his blue eyes lighting up.

“You’re gonna be Draco’s favorite this summer,” Elías snickered.

“I’m always everyone’s favorite,” Corban joked and Severus hummed.

“That you are,” he muttered with all his honesty, making Corban’s stomach churn. If only. “Everyone is excited to see you. We’ve been preparing this party for a while.”

“You know I love a good party,” Corban said weakly, feeling suddenly nervous and Severus glanced at him, always so knowing, always catching his every move. It’d been years since Corban had been able to hide anything from his best friend.

“It’s okay, you can rest first,” Elías nudged him a bit, giving Corban a small smile, his enthusiasm contagious. “Even take a nap!”

“The Spaniard _would_ recommend that,” Lucius muttered, smirking until Elías glared. “Are you or are you not the inventors of the _siesta_?”

“I don’t take _siestas_ , that’s a stereotype,” Elías told him firmly, huffing.

“You do,” Severus interrupted dryly. “Quite a _lot_ , in fact.”

“I don’t!” Elías gasped as Corban began to laugh.

“You do. I’ve found you in cat shape multiple times, asleep in front of your chimney,” Severus accused and Will raised his eyebrows.

“You’ve gone to his rooms a lot, then, have you, Severus?” he smirked and Lucius gave a loud laugh while Corban doubled over, wheezing, catching the two flushing and starting to talk over each other. “Mhmm, mhmm. Say what you will.”

“ _He_ has no concept of privacy,” Severus pointed to Elías.

“That’s rich coming from you!” Elías blurted out.

“Alright, alright,” Corban laughed, stopping them. “You made me relax. You can all calm down. I’m fine.”

He caught the twitch of Will’s lips and the way Severus didn’t seem too annoyed as they did stop, making Corban almost let go of his coin, putting it in his pocket, listening to the plans for tonight as Lucius spoke animatedly about it. He felt… not out of the loop, like he thought he would. He just felt like he was home again, among his friends. Among his family.

They all floo’ed to Spinner’s End, walking into the house to see it with the curtains open, a sunflower on the coffee table and the smell of rain almost making Corban cry. He’d missed coffee _so much_. And he’d missed the strange but familiar warmth of Severus’ home, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, hands now shaking a bit.

No one pointed it out, which he was infinitely grateful about. Everyone got comfortable in the living room except Severus, who walked deeper into the house to leave his bags in the usual guest room, Corban standing there for a moment, appreciating the fact that this place didn’t have white walls and tiled floors. He’d made it. All he had to do was keep it up.

“Coffee?”

Corban turned, seeing Elías gently smile at him, his hand softly gripping Corban’s shoulder, squeezing, and Corban nodded dumbly.

“Yes, that’d be… delightful,” he confessed quietly.

“Anyone else want some?” Elías turned to Will and Lucius.

“Tea, rather,” Lucius replied.

“A cuppa as well,” Will hummed and Elías nodded, moving to the kitchen.

Corban followed, for lack of better things to do, knowing the conversations after detox were always strange and stilted with the rest of his friends. He knew they were simply worried and thought of him as… someone in a fragile state of mine – which he _was_. He just… didn’t like to be treated that way.

“How do you take it?” Elías asked as he easily moved around the kitchen and Corban wondered when exactly a muggleborn twenty year old had gotten comfortable in Severus’ home enough to know where he kept the teapot.

“Black. Well, dash of milk,” he murmured, taking a chair to sit on the table in the middle of the room, rubbing his face a bit and inhaling slowly before letting it all out in a sigh. “…I didn’t expect you to be here, if I’m honest.”

“I promised I would be,” Elías shrugged, filling the pot with water from the sink instead of his wand and doing little things that betrayed just how truly muggle he was. Corban found it slightly fascinating. He wondered if Severus had started doing things like that in the way Elías also did some gestures that were from Severus.

“You did,” he remembered the pathetic morning where he’d gone off the rails. “But I didn’t think you’d really do it.”

“Well, I’m here,” Elías laughed, throwing some lightness into the situation, making Corban smile. At least Severus and Elías didn’t walk on eggshells. “Also, Severus told me that you’re considering AA meetings?”

“Ah, yes,” he swallowed. “Muggle meetings for… alcoholics.”

“I’ve been looking around, asking some people I know,” Elías told him, looking over his shoulder with a smile. “I’ve got a couple of suggestions! Super tiny towns in the middle of nowhere, you probably know _nobody_ there. It’ll be super anonymous and you can get things off your chest. I also made sure they follow a different program without religion.”

“That’s thorough,” Corban croaked, gratefulness washing over him. “You didn’t have to –”

“Hey, I’m the muggleborn token, aren’t I?” Elías teased, opening the can of coffee, the smell making Corban’s fists turn to relaxed fingers. “Gotta make sure you know what you’re doing in these muggle towns.”

“But you didn’t have to do it,” Corban insisted. “You don’t owe me – in fact, I think _I_ owe _you_ for –”

“I don’t work in debts, Corban,” Elías told him, voice firm and leaving no room for discussion, making the Slytherin frown. “You don’t owe me. Nobody owes me. I did it because I wanted to, because you’re my friends. This is what friends do.”

“Spoken like a true Slytherin,” Corban murmured, finally managing to smile and the kitchen door opened to show Severus walking in, a pot with chrysanthemums in his hands. “Those look pretty dead.”

“They’re drowning,” Severus scowled, placing the pot near the window, Elías looking at the potioneer. “You put them away from the garden roof, didn’t you? It was you.”

“Oops,” Elías put a hand over his mouth, grinning. “Sorry! There just – there was some sun! I thought they’d appreciate it!”

“Do _not_ touch my chrysanthemums,” Severus pulled on his ear and Elías gave a laugh. “Next time, I’ll stick your fingers together.”

“Hey, I saved your succulents,” Elías told him, passing Corban a nice mug of coffee, which he took with a smile.

“I have three succulents,” Severus hissed. “And _five plants_ that you’ve killed already.”

“I don’t have much of a green thumb, I’ll admit,” Elías whispered to Corban, who gave a laugh.

“Me neither, to be honest,” Corban chuckled. “I kill every plant I touch.”

“You truly do, that’s why you _never_ touch mine,” Severus rolled his eyes. “I hope in your stay here that you stay away from my plants.”

“No promises,” Corban teased and Elías chuckled before taking two cups of tea back to the living room, leaving the two other men in the kitchen. Corban found Severus watching him, his arms crossed as Corban sipped his coffee. _Blessed_ coffee.

“You look better,” Severus said, voice kind.

“I feel a little better,” Corban admitted, nodding, touching the rim of his mug. “It’s been hard but… I feel somewhat alive, now, instead of a – well, a ghost of me.”

“Tonight you’ll be able to see everyone,” Severus hummed, glancing out the window at the ceasing rain. “Kiera has been very optimistic. All of us have.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Corban murmured, hand running through his hair, sighing deeply. “Severus, I –”

“Do not dare to apologize,” Severus hissed, his dark eyes still on the tree outside, jaw locked tight. “Addiction is an illness, not something you can help. You need to stop blaming yourself for the pain you feel.”

“Is that part of the muggle process?” Corban asked, cocking an eyebrow, trying to make it a lighter conversation.

“Perhaps,” Severus replied, completely serious. “I… I wouldn’t know.”

“Have – you been going to therapy, still?” Corban questioned, chewing on the inside of his cheek, watching his best friend.

“Yes,” Severus easily responded and Corban felt relief wash over him.

“That’s good,” he smiled. “Do you feel any different?”

“I’ve been feeling different since January,” Severus muttered, finally looking over at Corban, sincerity in his eyes. “It’s helping. Somewhat. I’m… unraveling my childhood first. And it is quite painful, I will admit, especially when I am still in this house but – well,” he hastily moved the pot over the fire again, starting to prepare himself a cup of tea. “Narcissa has been helping me, as well as Lucius and Elías.”

“That’s good,” Corban repeated, swallowing past the knot in his throat. “Do… do you think we could convince Toby –”

“No,” Severus snorted. “I already tried. I have tried with everyone. It is only you and me, for now.”

“They need time, I suppose,” Corban sighed, nodding, looking down at his drink. “I’m going to go to that muggle alcoholics meeting, Severus.”

“I’m glad,” the potioneer whispered. “It’s another solution we hadn’t looked into. Elías will be able to help you.”

“Elías is here,” Corban pointed out, a bit dumbly. “He… told me some private things, when I broke down in my Manor.”

“He tends to do that,” Severus took his teacup and slid into the seat next to Corban. “To make others more comfortable. Not out of… owing you, really. But because he feels like you’ll feel better if you know something private of his.”

“Power balance,” Corban guessed and Severus nodded, touching the saucer under his cup as he looked thoughtfully away from Corban. “I didn’t feel any other call.”

“There’s been none,” Severus confirmed. “But there’s been a lot of movement in the shadows. I’m afraid this summer we’ll hear a lot more from Antonin and Amycus.”

“Fuck,” Corban took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Do they _never_ give up?”

“They don’t want him back anymore than we do,” Severus reminded him. “But they’re still full of shit, that’s what they are. Dolohov’s been trying to pass a bill in congress and Narcissa is attempting to avoid him. Lucius hasn’t had any luck with it.”

“Is it about Muggle Studies again?” Corban frowned.

“Of course it is,” Severus enjoyed his tea for a moment before letting the cup rest in his hand, murmuring, “This time it made me angry.”

Corban’s eyebrows shot up, “It did?”

“Mhmm,” Severus looked down at his cup. “It did.”

“So it did,” Corban glanced over at the almost closed kitchen door, finding Lucius speaking passionately about something or other, Will seemingly unamused while Elías looked _extremely_ amused. “Should I say why out loud?”

“Don’t think you need to,” Severus scowled.

“You’re going to have to talk about it, someday,” Corban nudged Severus’ knee with his own.

“We should be speaking of you, and how _you_ feel,” Severus countered. “You just got out of the hospital, you’ve been one whole month sober –”

“I don’t want to talk about St. Mungo’s,” Corban quickly told him, making Severus’ jaw click shut immediately. “I got sober there. I screamed and yelled a lot. I cried even more. It was hell. What else is there to tell?”

“Do you think this is the good one?” Severus wanted to know.

“Fuck if I know,” Corban confessed, hands rubbing his grown beard. “At this point I’m not even thinking of full recovery, just… trying again. This is another try. I don’t want to fall into pure despair every time I relapse – I’ll just give it a try.”

“That’s a good mentality,” Severus pointed out.

“Let’s see if it lasts,” Corban snorted, glancing at his friend before he gave a small, tired smile. “But I _am_ glad you were there. And here with me. I am so very selfishly happy that you’re still here, Severus.”

The potioneer, sighed, moving his cup to the table before his arm came around Corban’s shoulders and pulled him into an embrace, making Corban’s breath hitch. He swallowed, slowly coming to clutch Severus’ dark robes, nose buried against his best friend’s shoulder.

“I promised Philippa I’d take of you,” Severus muttered. “And I will, Corban.”

“Thank you,” Corban choked, eyes squeezed shut tight. “Thank you, Severus.”


	72. Confessions of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It begins.
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Talk of death  
> \- Talk of cult tactics  
> \- Discussion of incel thoughts  
> \- Mention of war  
> \- Mention of blood  
> \- Mention of injury

June was upon them when Elías found himself climbing up the spiral stone staircase behind the gargoyle, feeling much more confident than the last time he’d been here. He’d been called to Dumbledore’s office this morning, right after he’d received all the paperwork he needed to sign in order to be Harry’s official guardian in Spain. Dumbledore wanted to speak to him and Elías agreed that they needed to talk. Elías wasn’t a coward. He may have been many things, but he wasn’t a coward, so here he was – pushing the double doors open, stepping into Dumbledore’s office and moving in front of his desk, seeing no sign of the man.

His phoenix was perched on his usual spot, though, looking young. Elías had last seen him with very few feathers and a poor look, so it was good that the guy felt better. The Slytherin reached over careful, waiting for the bird’s approval before petting his back wings, a single golden eye watching Elías, not too kindly, he might add.

“Careful. He bites.”

“I’ve a feeling he only bites officials from the Ministry,” Elías snorted, pulling back as Dumbledore walked over to him from upstairs, his private chambers. The man looked composed as he always did, an amused twinkle in his blue eyes.

“You’d be correct,” he cleared his throat, sliding into his oaken chair and resting his elbows on the armrests. “Lemon drop?”

“I never say no,” Elías shrugged, accepting the sour candy, popping one into his mouth before sitting down and leaning back on his chair, arms crossing. “Are we here to discuss Harry Potter?”

“Yes,” the Headmaster nodded. “Since you decided to disobey –”

“Disregard your advice, more like,” Elías gave a small smirk and Dumbledore sighed.

“Since you decided to disregard my advice,” Dumbledore amended, rubbing his temple with two fingers. “We need to think of ways of protecting the child. In another country. In a completely uncontrolled environment.”

“You think I haven’t thought of that?” Elías’ eyebrows rose.

“I think you have,” Dumbledore replied slowly, watching Elías from over his half-moon glasses. “But I also think you do not have the whole picture.”

“Geez, I wonder _why_?” Elías said bitterly, grimacing. “Maybe if you gave me a shred of information –”

“So you could recklessly risk your life and other’s as you desperate try to do whatever is in your hands to change it all? And drive us into a state of complete ignorance as to the enemy’s intentions and actions? No, I think it’s best to keep you in the shadows,” Dumbledore replied and Elías fumed, hands tightening to fists.

“You think you know better than anyone else, don’t you?” Elías hissed.

“I’m old, Elías,” Dumbledore pointed out and Elías snorted.

“More knows the devil for being old than for being devil, I suppose,” he threw and Dumbledore gave a deep sigh, shaking his head.

“What happened to the days where you knew I, at least, want to do the right thing for everyone, Elías?” he asked softly, voice so succinct that Elías wanted to strangle him. “What happened for you to hate me so much?”

“I grew up,” Elías replied, glaring. “And I had a Sight where I saw you _literally_ sharing with a genocidal maniac the words you still live by; _for the greater good_. The end does not justify the means, _Albus_.”

“I don’t think so, either,” the Headmaster began.

“Bull _shit_ ,” Elías spat.

“I know I am not what you wanted me to be,” Dumbledore spoke sincerely, watching the way Elías’ blood boiled with patience. “I know everyone wishes I was actually sitting in that pedestal that was set in front of me –”

“ _You_ set that pedestal there, don’t fucking act like you didn’t,” Elías accused.

“It serves a purpose,” Dumbledore said firmly.

“I know that, I’m not _stupid_ ,” Elías admitted begrudgingly. “I know in war you need icons more than you need good leaders. Half of this war is fucking _propaganda_. People need to believe that you’re a good man or they’ll fall but what happens if _you_ fall, Albus? What happens when they’ve no leader to look up to?”

“That’s where Harry comes in,” Dumbledore said and Elías nearly tackled him.

“He’s a _boy_ ,” he spat out, furious. “He’s a thirteen year old _boy_. Not even a fucking _teenager_ yet, Jesus Christ!” Elías pulled on his hair, watching Dumbledore.

“This is bigger than just one boy,” Dumbledore said kindly. “We need him alive –”

“We don’t _need_ anything from him! No!” Elías stood, slamming his hands down on the desk, glaring deeply. “You will _not_ ask him for _anything_ , do you hear me? I’m about to become his legal guardian and as such, you will _not_ ask anything of him before you _explicitly_ ask me first, am I _fucking_ understood?!”

Dumbledore watched him, completely calm and patient, sitting lazily on his high chair and regarding the way Elías’ whole body _shook_ with anger.

“It’s very well understood,” the Headmaster replied, like amusing a three year old in their game of play-pretend. “And now that that’s out of the way – I’d like to set a few wards around your home, if you’d allow me to.”

“Make a list,” Elías replied, nails digging into the wood of his desk, glaring. “Each one of the wards will be discussed over the summer. The summer solstice would be a good time to get them down. All of them will be made under my supervision and Remus’, too, for that matter.”

“Not Severus?” there was that spark of amusement in his eyes.

“I’d rather not have him near you,” Elías threw back and Dumbledore hummed.

“I will admit – out of all the people I thought you’d pit against me, Severus wasn’t the first that came to mind,” he confessed.

“I didn’t have to,” Elías snorted. “It was all him.”

“I see,” Dumbledore reached over to pet Fawkes gently, scratching under his beak, the phoenix trilling happily as Elías slowly relaxed a bit, letting some of his anger go. “There’s another matter I wished to talk to you about.”

“Shoot,” Elías sighed, leaning into the backrest of his chair instead of sitting back down again, watching Dumbledore with an exhausted look.

“I am gathering once more the Order of the Phoenix,” he told him and Elías felt his stomach churn uncomfortably at the announcement, breathing out quietly.

“What?” he murmured, hands going lax. “So… so soon?”

“There’s been rumors,” Dumbledore said sadly, letting Fawkes move to his arm, the beautiful firebird comfortable perching there. “I’m afraid we need to prepare sooner than expected. Your increased Sights have only confirmed it.”

“What do my Sights have to do with this?” Elías asked immediately, hands tight on the back of the chair, knuckles white.

“The more fate-changing or fate-setting events that are near, the more it triggers your Sights, I cannot tell you more,” Dumbledore replied.

“Fuck you,” Elías said, frustrated.

“You’ll eventually learn,” Dumbledore said kindly, giving him a small smile. “By your own means, when the time is right.”

“ _Fuck_ you,” Elías repeated, walking away from him, hands turning to fists as he walked towards the spiral staircase.

“One last thing – Elías?” he heard Dumbledore speak but he didn’t stop. “It’d do you well not to get attached to those that will ultimately be at the other end of a wand in a year. I say this in the kindest of –”

“ _Fuck you_ ,” Elías snarled, throwing a death glare over his shoulder before slamming the doors close, walking out of the spiral staircase with blood pumping loudly in his ears.

Smug asshole. Smug, stupid fucking _dick_. Who did he _think_ he was, playing with people’s lives as if it were a game of fucking checkers? Thinking he could just start recruiting _children_ for his stupid, faux-heroic _cause_. Harry had seen enough war, he’d seen _enough_. Over Elías’ _dead fucking body_ was he just going to bring the kid into it.

He thought his evening couldn’t get any worse than this, any worse than Dumbledore admitting that the return of Voldemort was inevitable, any worse than his intent to bring Harry into it, any worse than fucking _admitting_ that he knew more about Elías’ stupid fucking Sight.

And then Elías turned the corner and saw two officials from the Ministry of Magic and a fucking executioner walking in the distant grounds towards Hagrid’s hut.

Elías nearly threw a fucking hex at them, stomping through the hallways towards his tower, wanting to supplex every single fucking bureaucrat that came his way. He had one – _one_ exam left for his students and he couldn’t let his anger show, lest it discouraged them. They were only First Years, after all. He could calm down. He could stay in his tower and not interfere with official Ministry business that could jeopardize the adoption. He could be _perfectly fucking still_ and not fuck shit up in a moment of impassioned anger.

Except of course, when he was about to climb the steps, he heard Harry call him, making Elías turn to see him with Hermione and Ron, as always, Harry barreling through until he was upon the professor, Elías quickly grasping his shoulders.

“Harry!” he exclaimed, surprised. “Harry, what –”

“Buckbeak – they’re going to kill Buckbeak!” he said, green eyes wide, holding onto Elías’ shirt, begging. “Professor Fernández, you’ve to do something!”

“Can’t you talk to Mr Malfoy?!” Hermione begged and Elías swallowed.

“I’ve tried,” he murmured, hand moving to Harry’s shoulder.

“We tried to talk to Draco but he just mocked us!” Ron said, frustrated, and Elías knew he’d need to have serious words with that boy but for now, he had to calm them down, gently patting Harry’s shoulder, swallowing.

“I’m so sorry, guys,” he said softly, eyes kind. “But… I can’t do anything. We still have to wait, there’s still time. Just because there was… an official in case of Buckbeak’s execution, doesn’t mean –”

“They’re going to kill him,” Harry told him, cutting off Elías’ optimistic bullshit, making the adult breathe out slowly. “Hagrid sent us a note, they’re going to kill him!”

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Elías muttered. “But I can’t do anything.”

“Fine,” the boy said, eyes blazing, “ _Fine_. I’ll talk to _Malfoy_ again.”

“But we’ve got to check on Hagrid!” Ron told him, eyes wide.

“Do _not go_ ,” Elías told the three of them, making the kids turn to him. “It’s almost sunset, You _cannot leave the premises_. I’ll talk to Draco, alright? But I need you all to _stay put_. For your safety and for _Hagrid’s_. This is an order from your teacher –” he looked at Harry. “And from your guardian.”

He walked off towards the dungeons, no more words, glancing over at the falling sun and remembering with a startled sort of worry that tonight would be a Full Moon. He swallowed hard, thinking of checking in on Remus before he left for the shack, knowing how busy he’d been with exams lately but – _fuck_ , but _Draco_ was their only hope –

Elías’ hand shot out to Blaise’s shoulder as he turned a corner and nearly bumped into him, Vince and Pansy beside him and quickly, Elías faced them.

“Where’s Draco?” he asked urgently.

Blaise glared, “Why?” he asked, ever insolent and defiant but Elías had no patience for his attitude today, glaring right back, making the kid stutter in his evident hatred.

“I’ve got _no time_ for this, Mr Zabini,” he hissed, a near-impression of Severus. “ _Where_ is Draco?”

“He’s in the Courtyard,” Blaise whispered and Elías immediately turned the other way, towards the Courtyard, stepping through students trying to go for dinner but dinner was the furthest thing in his mind, a rolling sense of dread forming in his stomach. He had a horrible feeling, he felt like he was heading into something that was making him breathless and it almost felt like the impending doom of a Sight.

“ _Ahora no, ahora no_ ,” he muttered to himself, pushing the Sight away hastily, finding a crowd of kids leaving the Courtyard as dinner and curfew approached, passing by the pendulum to see Draco playing Gobstones with Greg and Theo, rushing to them.

Draco was cheering, grabbing one of Theo’s Gobstones when Elías finally reached them, panting a bit, hands on his hips.

“Mr Malfoy, I’d like a word,” he said sternly, making Draco look up with wide eyes.

Greg and Theo were silent, looking at each other before glancing at their friend, confused and a bit out of place as Draco slowly stood, clutching his marbles in his hands. Elías was reminded that he was a fourteen year old boy, just a fourteen year old _teenager_. And so Elías took a deep breath, begging to calm down, hand rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, sir?” Draco asked quietly.

“Do you know what the word _empathy_ means, Mr Malfoy?” Elías began, watching the blonde with tight lips.

“Er… to uh… feel what others feel?” he stuttered a bit.

“To be able to put yourself in someone else’s _shoes_ ,” Elías explained, arms crossing, thankful that they were the last ones in the Courtyard. Scoldings never should be public. “To be able to empathize with someone means that you at the very least _attempt_ to understand the other person.”

“Alright,” Draco mumbled, looking confused.

“It’d do you well to remember to empathize with people who are not like you,” Elías continued, sick and tired of his and Blaise’s attitude. “It’d do you well to recognize that you severely broke Professor Hagrid’s orders not to insult the hippogriff, thus leading to an injury which you recovered from in less than three days, _despite_ all of your moaning and whining that convinced _nobody_.”

Theodore’s jaw dropped, eyes like saucers as Draco spluttered.

“Your lack of empathy and your _ego_ has led to three Ministry officials striding towards your professor’s hut,” Elías pointed at Hagrid’s hut near the Forbidden Forest and the Whomping Willow, making Draco shakily look wide-eyed. “to _kill_ an innocent creature because you did not care for a lesson. Is this what you want? Do you want to cause pain, Mr Malfoy?”

“No!” Draco quickly said, hands pressing his marbles to his chest.

“Then _why_ push for the trial? Why push for the execution?” Elías asked, watching the boy. “I am genuinely asking, Mr Malfoy, for you to understand the consequences of your actions. You wished to hurt Harry Potter, thus wanted to hurt Hagrid, thus wanted to hurt the hippogriff. That was your trail of thought, wasn’t it?”

“I – I didn’t –” Draco’s eyes watered and Elías gave a sigh, rubbing his face before he walked over, gently lifting Draco’s head, watching his eyes.

“You’ve got to understand, Draco,” Elías told him softly, kindly, trying to reach patience and having Draco _see_. “That this isn’t just stumping Potter. It’s stumping _you_. And the people around you. Hatred will take you nowhere, boy,” he murmured, seeing Draco’s frustrated greys looking down as he began to silently cry. “You’re better than this. What would your mother say, if she knew you’d been pushing this not out of fear for the hippogriff or concern for your fellow peers, but out of a matter of _ego_?”

That made Draco flinch hard, hands scrubbing at his face, Elías feeling pity shake him. Had anyone ever scolded Draco like this? Had anyone ever told him that he was doing something wrong in this way? Had he ever been told that cruelty led to abuse and pain and a deterioration of the character?

“Forget about Potter,” Elías told him, trying to make him see. “Forget about whatever he did to offend you, to slight you. The path you’re taking is one of _spite_ and _petty revenge_. Years from now, you’ll regret these things, the ones you did just to hurt others.”

“Are… are they going to kill i-it?” Draco asked, hiccupping, tears running down his face.

“Yes,” Elías admitted and Draco’s breath hitched, his marbles falling to the floor, Greg quickly picking them up and standing, Theo following. “Unless you speak to your father.”

“Father,” Draco muttered, eyes wide.

“Professor Snape!” Theodore said, gripping Draco’s arm, the blonde looking at his friends. “He has a connection to your house!”

“Run!” Greg told the both of them and the three Slytherins sprinted off, making Elías breathe out with surprise, not expecting them to… actually do something about it. He swallowed, looking down at his hand, shaking still and wet with Draco’s tears.

The boy had felt something. He’d regretted doing this. _Please_ , let him regret causing pain instead of reveling in it. Let his petty revenge not turn to real hatred.

He felt his ears start to ring and he quickly gripped the sides of his head, gasping, bells ringing. Elías stumbled for a moment in place, looking up to the pendulum of the clocktower, that… that figure watching the boys leave, the book in his hands, his green robes billowing in the wind. The pendulum stopped. His robes froze.

Elías closed his eyes, pushed the sight away and when he opened them, the figure was gone.

“Hagrid,” he slurred to himself, blinking a few times to get rid of the airiness, the dizzying feeling. The sky was slowly starting to turn orange and Elías took a few greedy gulps of air as he leaned against one of the columns, shoulder to the stone, feeling his eyes unfocusing and forcing them to be still.

He’d pushed back a thousand Sights, he could push this one as _well_. There was no time, he had to delay the execution. He had to talk to Hagrid. He had to give those kids some _time_. Elías closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, thinking of Hagrid and the damn fucking _hippogriff_ , an innocent creature that meant so much to him and the kids. An innocent creature that didn’t deserve to die at the wish of a _child_.

This time, Elías gripped the Sight and forced it aside out of sheer power of will, gaining back his footing and starting to walk down towards the hut, ignoring the almost setting sun, ignoring everything else. Sweat broke down his back but he just pushed further, finally with a clear mind as he touched the stone steps to the hut –

And heard familiar voices.

He turned, eyes roaming the way to the Whomping Willow, heart in his throat as he heard, “ _Scabbers—_ NO!”

Elías’ heart skipped a beat and, out of seemingly nowhere, a rat jumped out of the air and rushed away. A thin, patchy, familiar fucking _rat_. And right behind him, Crookshanks. And right behind them, _Ronald fucking Weasley_.

“Ron, no!” he heard Hermione but didn’t see her and Elías pulled his wand out the fastest he could, trying to run towards the kids as Ron chased what he thought was his rat. Out of nowhere, Harry and Hermione appeared, following after their friend and Elías heard their voices distantly as ringing kept blocking his ears.

“Stop, _stop!_ ” Elías tried to warn them, stumbling after the kids before they could get near the dangerous Whomping Willow, eyes wide and heart in his throat. “STOP!”

To no avail, they were there already. With horror, Elías saw the tree move just as Ron caught Pettigrew, trying to keep him still, and Elías could hear his animal shrieks even from here. He could _barely see straight_ and nearly dropped his wand just as the willow swung and struck Harry in the middle of his back, Hermione dodging by falling to the floor.

The blood red of the sunset mingled with the blood he saw but didn’t identify who was who, dropping his wand and heaving brinewater as a familiar black animal leaped from the shadows, nearly ran over Harry and clamped his jaws down on Ronald’s leg, dragging him into the tunnel under the willow.

 _Clang! Clang! Clang!_ The bells rang, warning Elías and he saw the vision from before, that green-clad figure again just as Harry and Hermione disappeared into the tunnel and Pettigrew, Pettigrew was there, he was a traitor, Sirius had _no wand_.

Elías felt something snap in him.

Like a tensed up chord, like an elastic band finally breaking, he reached inside himself and took the reins, shoving aside the figure, the book, the pendulum and the clocktower. Elías shut it, shut the door on it, stood from the grass and watched the Whomping Willow shudder and shiver in front of him, Ron’s blood staining the grass, Pettigrew’s shrieks still ringing in the air.

“Elías!” he heard distantly and Elías dizzily looked over to see Remus rushing to him, face bloodless, picking him up from the ground. “What – what are you _doing_ here?”

“They’re in the Shrieking Shack,” Elías rasped, gripping the back of Remus’ sweater, eyes wild. “Ron – Ron found P-Pettigrew, Sirius dragged him in, _Remus_ , we’ve to _go_ ,” he urged and Remus gripped Elías’ wand from the floor and looking at the hole, paling at the sight of blood. “Sirius dragged _Ron_ in –”

“We’ve to go!” Remus rushed to the hole, calming the Whomping Willow with a wave of his wand before Elías turned to a cat, his senses coming back to normal under this shape, rushing in a streak of white fur. Remus followed him, faster than Elías thought he’d ever been, and after a few minutes the two finally got to the familiar end of the tunnel, opening the trapdoor, hearing voices in Sirius’ room.

Elías shifted back to human, rushing there, his Sight no longer calling him and making him light-headed before he kicked the door open –

And saw Harry pointing his wand at Sirius, a wild look in his eyes.

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Remus quickly reacted, faster than Elías could, the wand flying away from Harry’s hand.

“Ron – _Ron_ ,” Elías rushed to the bleeding kid, seeing his pale face and touching Hermione’s shoulder. “I told you three to not get out, I told you three to stay at the castle!”

“Professor, Sirius Black –” Hermione tried and Elías saw Harry stumbling back, eyes wide as Remus helped Sirius up.

The sound of Elías’ guitar being kicked made Hermione and Ron turn, Harry glancing slowly at the object he’d almost stepped on. Hermione’s wide browns went to Remus, then Elías, then she shrieked at them both.

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” she sobbed and Elías drew back out of sheer surprise.

“Hermione,” Remus tried to calm her down, hands in front of himself as Crookshanks stood in front of Sirius to protect him. “We can explain –”

“You – you –” Hermione cried.

“Hermione, please,” Elías attempted.

“You two and him!” she scrubbed tears from her face and glared at Remus. “I’ve been covering for you!”

“Hermione, listen to me!” Remus begged.

“I didn’t tell anyone!” she shouted.

“I trusted you,” Harry croaked at the two professors, Elías turning to Harry, his heart breaking as the kid shook, eyes wild with fury. “I TRUSTED YOU BOTH, AND YOU BOTH WANTED TO KILL ME! YOU WERE WORKING WITH HIM!”

“We weren’t Sirius’ friend!” Elías tried to calm the situation as Hermione shoved him away, Remus quickly reaching for Elías before the Slytherin could fall to the floor.

“We can explain, if you’d let us –” Remus’ hands were shaking.

“Harry, don’t listen to him!” Hermione turned to her best friend and then shouted, “He’s been working with Fernández to get Black inside the castle this whole time! Lupin’s a werewolf!”

Elías’ breath hitched and Remus froze, eyes on Hermione as silence took over. Elías’ hand covered his own mouth, lungs stuttering as Remus gave a hollow laugh.

“Only one of our three, Hermione,” he tried to joke, falling flat. “Usually you’re better.”

“Since when have you known?” Elías asked her quietly.

“Ages,” she replied, gaze running from Remus to Elías quickly. “Since Professor Snape’s essay in your absence that first full moon.”

“Of _course_ ,” Elías hissed with distaste.

“Fucking told you he was an arse,” Sirius mumbled.

“Shut the _fuck_ up,” Elías and Remus snapped at the man at the same time, Sirius lifting his hands to play innocent.

“And _you_ ,” Hermione turned to Elías, who felt her hateful gaze like an arrow to the stomach, her lower lip trembling. “I defended you, too. From _Blaise_. Blaise was right!”

“Blaise was right,” Ron breathed, eyes wide. “Blimey –”

“I _trusted_ you. More than anyone,” Hermione cried and Elías felt his knees go a bit weak as Harry kept shaking. “You told me you wanted to protect Harry!”

“I do!” Elías said, voice breaking and Remus quickly pulled Elías back, hands in front of himself.

“Alright, alright,” he said calmly. “Let’s start a conversation. Let’s explain what is going on,” Remus squeezed Elías’ shoulder and Sirius moved between the two professors, blood in his mouth, Elías glancing at his dark greys. They were trained on Pettigrew squirming in Ron’s grip.

“Traitor!” Ron cried out.

“How about,” Remus suggested. “You give us a chance to explain – here.”

He waved his wand and gave Hermione, Ron and Harry’s wands back, putting his own in his belt. Elías sighed and did the same, even raising his hands after his wand was in its holster.

“Let’s talk,” Remus gave a nod and Harry stared at his own wand, blinking, as if unable to believe that Remus had done that. He looked between the two professors before glaring at Sirius hard.

“If you haven’t been helping him, how did you know he was here?” he asked and Remus glanced at Elías before looking at Harry.

“The map,” he began but Elías rubbed his face, shaking his head.

“No, fuck that,” he murmured, sighing. “I’m telling them.”

“Elías,” Remus warned.

“Do _not_ ,” Sirius grabbed his arm, turning him harshly to him and Elías opened his mouth before Sirius shook him, rattling Elías. “Are you _mad_? Do you want _him_ to know?” he snapped and Elías’ jaw clicked shut.

“Right,” he breathed.

“Not taking any chances,” Sirius nodded and Elías sighed, rubbing his nose.

“I knew Sirius was innocent,” he explained, making the three kids turn to him. “I cannot tell you why, but I knew. And when – remember that map, Harry?” Elías told him and Harry glared at him but seemed to remember. “The Marauder’s Map. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail?”

“Yes,” he whispered, eyes wide. “…you guys made it.”

“We made it, as I’ve told you before,” Remus nodded.

“So Black already knew – all the entrances… I didn’t realize –” Harry looked dizzy, stepping back with a stumble.

“I was checking the map and saw you three outside, after curfew, by Hagrid’ hut. Even if you’re wearing your father’s cloak –”

“You know about it?” Harry gasped.

“Ha!” Sirius laughed and Elías glared at him as he snickered. “Moony here knew how to work it best –”

“Sirius,” Elías hissed, making the man turn to him. “Now’s not the time, yeah?”

“Oh,” he mumbled, reading the room. “Sorry.”

“You were accompanied not just by your friends, but someone else,” Remus told the kids, who all looked at each other.

“No, we weren’t!” Ron cried out, clutching at Pettigrew.

“Yes, you were,” Elías said calmly before he gently approached Ron, making everyone tense. “Ron. Ron, I’m very sorry – could I take Scabbers for a moment?” he offered his hand.

“What?!” he held onto his pet tighter, Pettigrew shrieking and thrashing. “What’s he got to do with it?!”

“It’s got everything to do,” Remus murmured.

“Ron, _no_ ,” Hermione gasped.

“It’s not a rat, Ron,” Elías said softly.

“He’s my rat! He’s my pet! He’s Scabbers!” the boy sobbed, wounded and tired. “He’s a stupid old rat, why do you want him?!”

“Because he’s not a rat!” Sirius burst out, making Ron look at him, at his furious eyes. “He’s a wizard! He’s a fully grown traitorous _bastard_ and an animagus!”

“Please, Ron,” Elías breathed, eyes intense as the kids were stunned on the spot. “Hand Pettigrew to me.”

“Pe… Pettigrew?” Hermione whispered, eyes wide.

“Pettigrew is dead!” Harry snapped, making Elías glance at him, the boy pointing at Sirius. “ _You_ killed him!”

“Oh, I _wish_ I’d killed him,” Sirius seethed. “But Peter was too resilient, wasn’t he? He was just too _damn_ smart for his own good.”

The squeals the rat kept making made Elías want to strangle the creature. He’d waited so long to finally talk to him, to get a hold of him. Get Sirius out of here. Make everything right.

“He’s my Scabbers! He’s not a wizard!” Ron said, holding the animal close and Sirius suddenly lunged at him, making Elías immediately step in front of Ron, hands shoving back at Sirius’ frame as he attempted to grab at Pettigrew.

“Sirius, _no_ ,” Elías gasped, holding him back.

“Sirius – _Sirius_ , stop it!” Remus grabbed his arms and together, the two professors pulled him away from the kids, the both of them pressing Sirius towards the wall. “We need to explain, they don’t _know!_ There are _still_ parts of it that we ourselves don’t understand!”

“I don’t care, I don’t _care_!” he bellowed and Elías wanted to cry at the deranged look in his eyes, the way he struggled against them. “I’m going to kill him, I’m going to _kill him!_ ”

“No!” Elías shoved his shoulders back, hand gripping Sirius’ jaw, making him turn to him. “Sirius, listen to us! Look at Harry, he’s _terrified_!” he shouted, pointing at the kid and Sirius froze, eyes wide. “Is this what you want?! Revenge?! Is that all that matters to you?!”

“He – he –” Sirius stuttered, eyes filling up, gripping Elías’ wrist so tight that Elías nearly winced.

“This isn’t for _you_ ,” Elías muttered, letting him go, Sirius no longer struggling. “This is for Harry. This is for you to get closure and for Harry to finally have a godsdamn fucking family. So _behave_. We need to clear things up – because Harry _deserves_ it.”

“He… deserves it,” Sirius repeated bleakly and Remus gently patted his shoulder.

“Explain yourselves!” Harry finally snapped, making the three adults turn to him, finding tears of frustration and betrayal in his eyes, wand pointed at them. “What is going on?!”

“Pettigrew is an animagus,” Remus explained to them. “The way Sirius is an animagus. And your father was, too. Three unregistered animagi in Hogwarts. Four of us. The Marauders of the map you used so fondly.”

“Wormtail,” Harry breathed, looking over at the rat, the tail he sported, wand hand shaky, starting to lower as Hermione covered her mouth, gasping.

“They did it to accompany me in days of the full moon,” Remus explained to them all, his gaze falling to his scarred hands. “What fools we were.”

“I don’t think it was foolish,” Elías murmured. “I think you all loved each other very much.”

“Some more than others, it seems,” Sirius snapped, glaring at Pettigrew, who burrowed further into Ron’s grip. “Yeah, we turned into unregistered animagi to help Moony. He used the Shrieking Shack for his transformations. That’s why there are so many rumors about how the place is haunted. We were all best friends, then we grew up, joined the Order of the Phoenix against Voldemort and _this piece of shite_ ,” Sirius pointed at Pettigrew. “Betrayed us all!”

“Is that why Snape hates you so much?” Ron asked Remus, who blinked with surprise. “Because Snape hates Harry and keeps mentioning his father –”

“They almost got Severus killed,” Elías told them three, making the two Gryffindor adults turn to him and his scowl. “Because of a _prank_.”

“Didn’t need to answer that one,” Sirius mumbled.

“No, I think he _did_.”

Elías turned just in time to see Severus throwing off the invisibility cloak, his eyes widening before Sirius almost ripped Severus’ wand away – but Severus was faster, pointing his wand at his throat, Sirius’ hands falling high as everyone else froze.

“Sev,” Elías breathed, starting to shake as the kids all watched, stunned, the hatred burning in the potioneer’s eyes.

“Hello, Snivellus,” Sirius grinned widely, a feral look to him and Elías would’ve smacked him to hell and back if the situation hadn’t been already so fucking _delicate_.

“Black,” Severus hissed lowly, eyes burning. “Of course you were in the Shack. Of course you were _here_. Elías told me that you two had seen each other but I didn’t know he’d been _hiding you_.”

“Sev,” Elías breathed, trying to approach him. “Sev, lower your wand –”

“Shut _up_ , you absolute _imbecile_ ,” Severus snapped at him, Elías’ eyes widening as he pushed Sirius to the poster of the bed, tip of his long wand pressed to his Adam’s apple, Sirius looking almost _eager_ for a fight. “I told you this was dangerous, I told you _he_ was dangerous, no matter if he didn’t kill the _Potters_.”

“You always knew I was innocent, didn’t you?” Sirius laughed. “You didn’t need to be convinced, you just didn’t _care_ that I’m innocent. Angel here –”

Sirius hissed as the smell of burning flesh reached them both and Remus let out an strangled noise when he saw the burning of Sirius’ flesh.

“Severus, _stop it_ ,” Elías warned, voice firm.

“You’re a fool,” Remus said and everyone looked at him, at his sad, pitiful eyes trained on Severus. “Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man behind bars in Azkab –”

Elías shrieked as Severus threw Remus through the door and down the stairs with a quick _expelliarmus_ , making chaos break loose. Sirius gave a roar of anger and tackled Severus onto the floor, struggle breaking out while Elías took out his own wand and rushed to Remus, eyes wide, praying that he wasn’t killed.

“Remus – _Remus_!” he rushed to the man, seeing his shoulders shake as he finally reached him. “Are you alright?!”

“I’ll be fine,” he wheezed, accepting Elías’ help, getting back up as they heard banging upstairs. “We need – they’ll kill each other –”

Elías rushed up the stairs, leaving Remus behind, eyes wide as he found Severus with his wand between Sirius’ eyes.

“GIVE ME ONE REASON!” he shouted, making everyone freeze. “GIVE JUST ONE REASON NOT TO KILL YOU!”

Sirius looked at the pine wand, at Elías, at the kids and then at Severus, no sign of fear in his eyes as he reached up, grabbed the tip of the wand, yanked down and took Severus’ collar in his fist, hissing out.

“Because my brother would’ve fucking hated you,” he spat.

Severus’ face changed – from a stunned look to one of misery to one of rage, gripping Sirius’ throat as Elías moved between them only to hear –

“ _EXPELLIARMUS!_ ”

Severus slammed against the wall, making Elías jump and scream as a tickle of blood ran down his hairline.

“Severus!” he yelled but Sirius gripped his arm, eyes wide, making Elías turn – to Harry. Harry, who was pointing his wand at the both of them, Elías frozen in place.

“We attacked at teacher,” Hermione was sobbing, hands on her face. “We attacked a teacher, we’re going to get into so much trouble, oh God…”

“Let’s say,” Harry breathed. “That you knew it was Pettigrew because of the map.”

“Okay,” Elías breathed, hearing Remus stumble in after them, his eyes wide and shining with alarm as he saw Severus, then Harry pointing his wand at them.

“How does _he_ know that it’s Pettigrew?” he asked, turning to Sirius.

“Easy,” Sirius rubbed the burnt mark on his throat, wincing as he nodded at Ron. “His family vacation. It was on the cover of the Daily Prophet. Fudge passed by my cell in Azkaban… and I recognized that rat. And its missing finger.”

Ron looked down at the rat, blinking. “Missing finger…”

“Pinky one, right?” Sirius hissed, hands shaking with anger. “When I cornered him, he announced to the whole street that I’d betrayed Lily and James. Wand behind his back, blew the whole street up. Cut his finger and went with the rats in the sewer.”

“What?” Hermione breathed.

“He got away because he knew you’d kill him!” Harry snapped. “Like you killed my parents! You admitted it!”

“He didn’t kill your parents!” Elías cried out.

“I did,” Sirius croaked and Remus and Elías looked at him, at his faraway look. “I… might as well have killed them.”

“Sirius –” Remus breathed, pain shining in his eyes.

“You should’ve been the Secret-Keeper, Remus,” Sirius looked down at the floor, shoulders curled in. “I… I convinced them not to. I – I thought you were the mole. I thought you were the traitor. Because I was a _fool_ who would rather think you were a traitor than just _angry_ at me. I was full of – youthful ego and – fuck, I’m a Black, alright? I keep grudges way more than you do, I guess,” he laughed into his hand. “I told Lily and James not to pick you. I killed them. That decision killed them –”

“Enough of this,” Elías snapped.

“We can prove that he’s telling the truth, that we’re all telling the truth,” Remus said calmly, hand extended to Ron. “Give me the rat, Ron.”

“What will you do with him when I give him to you?” Ron asked, lower lip trembling and Elías saw Harry’s wand lower enough for him to rush towards Severus.

“Nothing that will harm him if he’s a real rat,” he replied softly, reassuring.

Severus had been badly hurt. Elías touched the blood trailing over his face and quickly looked around his head, finding the wound, pressing against it as Sirius took Severus’ wand and kneeled beside Elías.

“Is he alright?” he asked tightly.

“Wound on the head, they bleed profusely so I’m not too worried but…” Elías breathed in sharply, swallowing.

“Let me,” Sirius grunted, pushing Severus’ head forward before using a healing, warm spell, making Elías let out a shaky sigh of relief. “There. He’s unconscious but – well, he’ll wake up cursing and yelling as always. Fucker.”

“Sirius,” Remus called and the other two adults turned to see Remus with Peter in his hand, making them both jump. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready for twelve years,” he rasped, wand at the ready, turning to Elías. “The three of us.”

“Together,” Remus nodded, lifting the squealing rat before counting to three.

“One…” Sirius breathed.

Harry clutched at Ron’s shoulder, Hermione still crying quietly, watching Sirius, Remus and Elías ready themselves.

“Two…” Remus nodded.

“THREE!” Elías finished, the three of them quickly casting a form-reversal spell, a flash of light taking over the dark room. It felt like the heavy rain clouds in the sky had parted for a moment, every single corner of the room lit and as soon as it’d come, it’d left. Like lightning.

And laying in the middle of the room was a thin, hollowed-out man. Short, balding, watery-eyed and barely blond anymore. Elías let out a breath of surprise, seeing the skeleton of what used to be a chubby, happy, healthy teenager laughing next to Remus, James and Sirius. Fury took over him for a moment, hatred burning in his eyes but it was nothing compared to Remus and Sirius, standing at his sides, shaking from anger.

Pettigrew looked up, eyes wide, and Ron let out a whine a surprise.

“Sirius,” he rasped, voice squeaky like the rat’s. “R-Remus! My… my old pals!” he laughed hysterically, giving them both a yellowing, toothy grin before lunging towards the door –

And meeting Elías’ fist.

Remus let out a noise of surprised, eyes wide at the sound and Sirius _laughed_ , throwing his head back as Elías gripped the fucking rat by the back of his collar and threw him back into the room, his cheekbone wrecked and Elías’ knuckles broken.

“ _Nice_ one, angel,” Sirius grinned at Elías.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he breathed, wand out, pointing it at Peter.

“We’ve been talking, Peter,” Remus told him, wand at the ready, as well. “About the night James and Lily died, you remember that? Might’ve missed a few key points, since you were squealing and shrieking.”

“Y-y-you don’t believe _him_ , do you, Moony?” he pointed a shaky finger at Sirius. “H-he tried to k-kill me!”

Sirius nearly lunged at him but Remus quickly pushed him back, looking calm. At ease.

“So we’ve heard,” he said, voice cold. Elías had never heard that tone. “We need to clear a few matters, I think –”

“He killed Lily and James!” Pettigrew pointed at Sirius, crying out. “And he’ll try to kill me again! You’ve got to help me, Moony!”

“No one’s going to try and kill you until we get things sorted out,” Remus said, almost soothing but Elías knew venom when he saw it, when he heard it.

“Sorted things out?” Pettigrew sobbed, looking wildly about him once more, eyes taking in the boarded windows and, again, the only door. “I knew he’d come after me! I knew he’d be back for me! I’ve been waiting for this for twelve years!”

“You… knew Sirius would break out of Azkaban?” Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “When no one has ever done it before?”

“He’s got dark powers the rest of us can only dream of!” Pettigrew shouted shrilly. “How else did he get out of there? I suppose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named taught him a few tricks!”

Sirius gave a loud, mirthless laugh, making Remus and Elías wince as he pointed Severus’ wand at Peter firmly.

“Voldemort? Teach me a few tricks?” he asked Peter, amused to see him flinch. “Oh, you don’t like to hear your master’s name, do you, Petey?”

“His lot aren’t very happy with you,” Elías pointed out, watching Pettigrew squirm. “How did you get a hold of a wand, Peter?” he asked, blood boiling. “I want to know how you almost killed _two of my friends_.”

“W-what?” he stuttered.

“The fucking _Mark_ , Pettigrew,” Elías spat. “Avery is _very_ angry.”

“W-who?” he tried, still denying it.

“You know who’s angry, too?” Elías let out a wide grin, catching the shaking of his hands as Elías hissed out, “ _Sienna_. And Felix and Kiera. And _Will_ , have you ever seen Will angry? I never had until we had to send Corban to St. Mungo’s.”

He looked _terrified_ and Elías felt like something had settled in his stomach after that, a calmness that he hadn’t felt before when suddenly, a small voice cut in.

“Uh… Mr Black?”

Sirius blinked, turning to Hermione, baffled at the title she’d given him and Remus seemed unable to help a small smile, Elías watching her clutch her wand but not point it at Sirius.

“Yes?” Sirius stared at her, as if he’d never met a little teenage girl in his life. No one like Hermione, for sure, Elías though.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how — how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn’t use Dark Magic?” she questioned.

“Thank you!” the rat gasped out, nodding frantically at her. “Exactly! Precisely what I —”

“I don’t know how I did it,” he said slowly, looking lost for a moment. “I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn’t a happy thought, so the Dementors couldn’t suck it out of me but – it kept me sane and knowing who I am helped me keep my powers.”

He sighed, looking down at his thin hands “So when it all became too much… I could transform in my cell and become a dog. Dementors can’t see, you know.” He laughed, a bit hysterically, then swallowed. “They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions. They could tell that my feelings were less — less human, less complex when I was a dog but they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn’t trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand…”

Elías reached for Sirius’ arm, gently squeezing and Remus rubbed his back as Sirius took in a deep breath.

“I saw you,” he said, looking up at Pettigrew, hatred burning in his gaze. “I saw that you were at Hogwarts with him, Weasley. So ready, so perfectly position to strike and bring Harry back to your fucking Dark Lord. And you know what? That was it,” he spat. “That was _enough_ for me to stand, slide through the bars like the starved dog I was and paddle by way back to land. I came to Hogwarts. I walked, I _walked_ and I did it through rain and hail, through sun and over _mud_. I lived in the Forbidden Forest and nearly died from sickness.”

“I found him,” Elías murmured to the kids, who stared. “Crookshanks came to me. I’m a registered cat animagus, as you all know, and I understood Crookshanks well.”

The cat walked from the corner of the room to them, Sirius leaning down to pat his little head, smiling.

“My best friend in this hell,” Sirius stated.

“That’s why Crookshanks wanted Scabbers,” Hermione breathed, eyes wide.

“I would’ve never betrayed Lily and James,” Sirius croaked, looking at Harry, whose eyes were wide on him as Sirius gripped his own arm, sobbing. “I would’ve _died_ before I betrayed them, Harry.”

And like a miracle, like a long-awaited sentence… Harry nodded.

“I believe you,” he muttered.

“No!” Pettigrew cried out, choking before he fell onto the floor, begging. “Please, _please! Mercy!_ James would’ve – he would’ve showed me mercy! He was the bigger man!”

Sirius snarled, gripping Pettigrew by the throat and shoving him up.

“YOU BETRAYED JAMES!” Sirius shouted. “You sold him!”

Pettigrew fell to the floor again, cowering, sobbing loudly, “Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord, you have no idea! He has weapons you can’t imagine! I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James! I never meant it to happen! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me — your _brother_ forced me!”

“Don’t fucking LIE!” Sirius bellowed, slamming a hand on the poster of the bed, making the entire frame shake, Remus and Elías closing in on him as Pettigrew shrieked with fear. “You’d been passing information to him for a year! You led Dorcas and I to a trap! You _betrayed Mary!_ You killed Marlene, it was YOU!”

Pettigrew cried, “No, _no!_ ” he choked, curling up on the floor.

“You gave Alice and Frank’s position away, didn’t you?” Remus breathed, hand over his mouth, looking ready to throw up. “Peter… Merlin, _Peter_ , what did you _do?_ ”

“Piece of _shit_ ,” Sirius crouched down, gripping Peter’s jaw and making him look at him in the eye. “Why’d you do it? Huh?!” he shook his head, digging his nails into Pettigrew’s jaw. “Why did you do it?!”

“Because _they_ were my friends!” Peter finally spat, making Sirius freeze as Peter glared at him. “I loved them. I loved you and Remus and James and Lily. And everyone else! But none of you loved _me_! No one ever gave me the time of their day or thought of me! I was just a pathetic worm to you, wasn’t I?!” he bit out, shaking as Sirius and Remus _stared_. “I gave you _everything_! Everything, Sirius! You fucking _twat_ , and you still slept with her!”

Elías’ jaw dropped and Remus gave a wheeze as Sirius froze in place, stunned, watching Peter with such surprise that he dropped his jaw.

“…what?” Sirius breathed.

“I was in love with her and you _knew_ it!” Peter cried out, glaring at Sirius. “Everything I wanted, everything I ever wanted to _be_ … you were always it!” he spat out and Sirius fell back on his ass on the floor, unable to believe this as Elías’ heart thudded hard against his ribcage.

“You… betrayed us out of _jealousy_?” Sirius whispered. “I thought – I thought we were _friends_.”

Pettigrew let out a hysterical trail of laughter, hands on his lacking hair, “Friends?! _Friends?!_ I hated you! I hated you from the moment you talked to me!” he hiccupped. “You and your stupid perfect life and your rich family and your pure blood and your good looks – you were rotten inside, Sirius Black, and all of us knew it! Remus and James knew it, too!”

“Do not speak for _me_ ,” Remus snapped, making Pettigrew glare at him. “Peter, you were our _friend_. We cared about you! This is all for Marlene?!”

“This is for _everything_!” he shrieked. “Living in the shadows… always someone’s second best! No matter what I did, I was always mediocre next to all of you! Mocked! Ashamed!” he raised a shaky hand to point at Sirius. “You always joked at my expense! You started a _thing_ with Marlene and you knew I was in love with her since Third Year!”

“What the _hell_?” Sirius spluttered, eyes wide. “Marlene was her own fucking person! And I had no idea you were in love with her, you never told any of us!”

“LIAR!” Pettigrew bellowed. “You did everything to fuck me over! You did everything in your hands to let me know I was below you! In every way! Halfblood and ugly and fat! And –”

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Sirius cut him off, shaking his head, unable to believe his ears.

“You killed your friends out of jealousy,” Elías whispered, hand running over his hair, laughing with disbelief. “Of course you did –”

“I wasn’t jealous, _he_ antagonized me! Always did! And made sure I knew I was less!” Pettigrew threw, shaking. “I went to Diagon Alley and you know what? I found a friend! I found Dolohov, and he understood me! He listened to me! And for once, I felt heard, I felt _real_. The way none of you had ever done!”

“Your insecurities aren’t crutches for the blame you throw to everyone else!” Remus snapped, making Pettigrew turn to him. “You felt bad about yourself and so you went with Deatheaters who nodded at everything you said?! _Really?!_ ”

“They were my real friends!” he stated. “They welcomed me! As if I was a pureblood!”

“Oh my Gods,” Elías laughed, shaking his head, wanting to strangle the man. “You utter fucking _fool_. No one can stand you. Not a single one of those Deatheater friends of yours came to your aid after your call. Are you _stupid_?” he snarled.

“I…” he swallowed.

“He knew that already, didn’t you?” Remus said, mind working the pieces of the puzzle, watching Pettigrew. “He knew they didn’t care. He _knew_ that they just wanted intel. Didn’t you, Peter?” he approached the rat animagus, who looked up at Remus with shining eyes. “That’s why you betrayed us. That’s why you sold Lily and James – because you dove right in and seeked their approval desperately. The way you did with everyone else.”

“They would –” he swallowed. “The Dark Lord would’ve _killed me_ –”

“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” Sirius took Pettigrew by the throat again, throwing him to the floor on his back, standing with a shaking wand pointed at him. “DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”

“WAIT!”

Harry stood in front of Pettigrew, stunning everyone, including the traitor.

“Harry,” Sirius pointed his wand away from the kid. “This _arsehole_ killed your father and mother –”

“They wouldn’t have wanted you two to become killers,” Harry stated firmly, making Remus’ breath hitch. “Do you know what killing does to you? What it means to kill someone?” he asked Sirius and Remus in words Elías had heard before, making his grip on his wand weaken. “I understand that you’re angry and you feel like you can’t really do anything to avenge them. But I promise that if you kill Pettigrew, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Harry,” Elías breathed, eyes watering.

“Oh, thank you!” Pettigrew gripped Harry’s leg. “Thank you, thank you! All-forgiving master, you –”

“Get _off_ me!” Harry kicked at him, sending Pettigrew back on the floor. “They’re not killing you. But you _are_ going to Azkaban. You’ll pay for your crimes. And – and Sirius will be absolved.”

The three wands pointed down to the floor as Harry turned to Sirius, Elías and Remus, swallowing, and in that moment Elías knew that Sirius and Remus were seeing James.


	73. The Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:  
> \- Violence  
> \- Blood  
> \- Wounds  
> \- Bureaucratic ignorance  
> \- Mild purism towards Elias  
> \- Slight body horror (werewolf transformation)  
> \- Mention of severed limb  
> \- Mention of death

Elías, the moment Pettigrew was secured with magic ropes and threatened by Sirius thoroughly, rushed next to Ron and Hermione, looking over his leg.

“Hey – hey, Ron, look at me,” Elías snapped his fingers, the boy looking nauseous. “How are you feeling? Are you alright?”

“I’ve been worse,” he joked, then whined as Elías pulled away a piece of his ripped pants off the wound. “Oh that’s a lot of blood, Blimey…”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius spoke as he approached, slowly moving to kneel beside the two kids, using Severus’ wand to superficially close the wounds – or most of them, anyway. Elías held Ron’s leg, seeing his face pale and kind of green. “I… I didn’t mean to hurt you so much, I was just thinking –”

“If someone killed Harry or Hermione and the murderer was on the loose disguised as a rat, I would’ve done the same,” Ron gave a hysterical little laugh as Hermione rubbed his shoulder and Harry approached, sitting next to Ron.

“I would, too,” the boy let his best friend know, and the two shared a small smile while Hermione shakily hugged Ron’s arm.

“Still, got er, too excited,” Sirius muttered. “I usually have a very sweet disposition as a dog. More than once, James suggested that I make the change permanent. The tail… I could live with but the fleas – _ugh_ , they’re murder –”

“Yes, you _did_ get too excited,” Elías cut in, glaring at the man, who gave a wince. “How many times did I tell you _not_ to parade around the premises? Harry thought there was a _grim_ after him!” Elías snapped.

“Wait, you were the grim?” Harry’s eyes widened.

“Oh, uh – yeah,” Sirius laughed, finishing putting some magic into Ron before Elías waved his wand to tie his leg to a splint. “Sorry you were so worried – no, I’m just… a black dog.”

“Right,” Harry gave a little laugh, shaking his head, shoulders sinking with relief. “Professor Fernández told me that you were just a friendly dog.”

“I am,” Sirius grinned at Harry and Elías smacked him over the head, making the kids giggle a bit as Elías scolded him.

“He _shouldn’t have seen you_ ,” he repeated.

“I was getting restless,” Sirius murmured. “No matter how many things you bring me, angel, I can’t just _stay_ here. Especially when I saw Pettigrew –”

“I just worry,” Elías sighed, looking over at the kids as he gently put Ron’s leg down on the floor. “Are the lot of you alright? Harry, I saw the Whomping Willow hit you, come here.”

The teen complied easily, moving to sit in front of Ron and Elías lifted the back of his shirt, hissing lowly at the deep bruising building over his back. Sirius clicked his tongue, inspecting his shoulders.

“Does it hurt?” Sirius asked him.

“A bit,” Harry said, watching the floorboards. “Have… you been here a while?”

“A few months,” Sirius replied, nodding as Elías looked for any broken bones. “Remus and Elías kept me safe. Brought me food and the like.”

“You play the guitar?” Harry asked, curious, and Elías smiled a bit as he set Harry’s shirt down, thinking of getting Pomfrey immediately for the kids.

“I do,” Sirius murmured, giving a small smile as Harry turned to look at him. “I… I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this but I’m… I’m your Godfather.”

“I know,” Harry swallowed, looking over at Remus where he was making sure Pettigrew was tied. “Professor Lupin told me about you. Why – why didn’t you guys tell me the truth?” he turned to Elías, who sighed.

“I wanted to. We all wanted to,” he said softly. “But if Pettigrew was to come back, none of you could be acting strange. It was easier this way, I… I couldn’t take any chances.”

“Is it going to be like that, then?” Harry asked Elías, swallowing. “Just – you’re going to be like everyone else and not tell me anything. Not even when it’s –”

“No,” Elías said firmly, hand moving to squeeze Harry’s shoulder. “No, Harry, _no_. That is _not_ how I want it to be. I want to tell you… a lot of things. Not just because I want to tell you but because you need to know. Dumbledore and everyone else has kept you enough time in the shadows about things that are way too important. I won’t be like that.”

Harry let out a hiccupping breath and he nodded, rubbing his eyes under his glasses, Sirius watching him with a painfully tender look. He looked almost ready to cry and Elías nudged his knee, making his grey eyes glance over.

“Come on, Ron,” Elías urged, standing. “Hermione, help me out?”

She nodded, still shaking a bit but together they managed to get Ron up, moving him towards Remus, who was finishing checking on Severus.

“All good?” Elías asked and Remus sighed, nodding, standing up.

“He won’t be unconscious for long. Then we’ll have a problem but… perhaps we could carry him along with a _levicorpus_ ,” Remus sighed, looking over at Ron. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve been worse,” he repeated and Hermione sighed, rubbing his back.

“You lost a lot of blood, Ronald,” Hermione chided. “We should get you to Madame Pomfrey soon.”

“We will,” Remus promised and Elías reached over to Remus’ face, finding some blood in his jaw. “Eli –”

“That was a nasty fall, does anything hurt?” Elías asked him, approaching Remus and carefully looking over his face. “I can’t believe Severus _attacked_ you –”

“I can,” Sirius snorted.

“ _You_ ,” Elías inhaled deeply, pointing at Sirius with a glare. “Do _not_ talk. Calling him that awful _name_. You were spoiling for a fight and I’m _very_ angry at you right now.”

“He was going to fight me anyway,” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Black, I’m _warning you_ ,” Elías hissed.

“Fine, _fine_ ,” Sirius sighed and Harry looked between them both curiously. “We should leave. Get Pettigrew to Dumbledore and make sure my name is cleared.”

“Let’s go,” Remus nodded before Sirius levitated Severus, Elías wrapping an arm around Ron’s waist to help him move along, Remus clutching at Pettigrew’s ties. The man looked terrified, eyes moving rapidly between Remus and Elías but they ignored him, pushing him forward, out of the Shrieking Shack and into the tunnel.

It was an awkward, strange little troupe. Crookshanks began to lead them, looking poised and Elías gave a smile at his proud little face. He’d done well. He would receive a bit of salami, later. As a treat.

Right behind Crookshanks was Elías, Hermione and Ron, the three of them carefully guiding the redhead with the splint. Ron barely made any noise, looking determined to be the kind of brave that only a Gryffindor would try to be. Hermione seemed to start calming down, little by little, murmuring a few praises to Crookshanks.

Third in line was Pettigrew with Remus, the two of them walking slowly due to Pettigrew’s struggle. Remus was infinitely patient, hand on the ties, pushing him forward. Elías kept glancing from time to time at him, wondering why he felt like Remus was worse off than he was letting on. He felt like he was missing something, holding out his wand with a strong _lumos_ to light the way.

And finally, in the back, Harry and Sirius spoke in soft tones, Severus floating right behind them. Their conversation floated through the tunnel, gentle and soothing to Elías’ soul, finally letting the two of them get to know each other.

“- and you know, I – I know Elías there did all the paperwork and all but – maybe in a year or so, we could…”

“Live together?” Harry asked, the excitement in his voice palpable. “I… Maybe you could come live with us!”

“They’d kill each other,” Remus pointed out, laughing loudly before coughing.

“You okay, Moony?” Elías asked him.

“Just fine, just… feeling tired,” he murmured.

“Do you two not get along?” Harry asked and Elías looked over his shoulder at the boy, snorting.

“We do. And we don’t,” he told him, waving his wand hand a bit. “I won’t mind at all if he comes over more often than not, Harry. He’s your Godfather, I ain’t gonna fight him on it, not at all. I know he loves you and he cares deeply for you.”

“…you do?” Harry murmured.

“Yeah, I do,” Sirius said quietly, nodding before looking over with a smile. “Did you like the Firebolt?”

“It _was_ you!” Harry gasped, laughing before Elías heard a little scuffle and looked over to see Harry hugging Sirius tightly, the man looking stunned at the boy before hugging him back, looking ready to cry. “Thank you – thank you! It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten!”

“Not the first broom I ever got you,” he grinned widely.

“Don’t remind me,” Remus groaned and Elías gave a laugh, changing his grip on Ron’s waist to make sure he was rightly proper, the boy giving him a small _thank you_.

“What?” Harry laughed, confused.

“He got you a broom for your first birthday,” Remus told him, rolling his eyes. “You wrecked the living room and Lily nearly broke Sirius’ neck.”

“It was fun! Lily wasn’t even mad!” Sirius exclaimed. “She _pretended_ to be, but she loved Harry way too much, you know.”

Elías smiled, glancing over at Harry to see him grinning so brightly that they almost didn’t need a _lumos_. It filled something in him, to finally see the boy hearing about his parents from Sirius, to finally have him find those people that loved him the most.

“I can’t go this fast,” Ron wheezed and Elías and Hermione paused, looking at each other and trying to figure it out.

“I don’t want to overuse magic. Just in case,” Elías murmured before turning to Remus. “Give me Pettigrew.”

“Are you sure?” Remus asked quietly, frowning. “He’s slippery.”

“And I’m mean,” Elías replied, unimpressed, hand moving to grip Pettigrew’s ties and bring him closer, glaring deeply into his eyes. “If you try to escape, I’ll sever a limb. Or more, if I feel like it. I’ve no reason to keep to any uptight Gryffindor morals, Pettigrew, do you understand me?”

He nodded, whining behind his gag.

“Trust me,” Elías added, hand tightening on him, murdering Pettigrew with his gaze. “If I catch you outside of Azkaban, you’re going to _wish_ they’d given you the Dementor’s kiss.”

Pettigrew whimpered and Elías stepped aside, letting Hermione and Ron through as they stared at him, surprised and a little perturbed. Elías ignored it, letting Ron, Hermione and Remus fall to the very back while Harry and Sirius took the lead with Crookshanks, Severus floating right beside him and Pettigrew.

“So um… if you’re going to be free,” Harry began, sounding nervous. “You’d like us to… be a family?”

“Yeah. _Yeah_ , of course,” Sirius nodded, turning to give Harry a tender look, ruffling his hair. “I promised your parents that if anything happened to them, I’d look out for you. I know I haven’t been able to do it in these past years but… I’d like to, now.”

“I’d like you to,” Harry murmured. “It’s uh, been a crazy year.”

“Feels like it has been more than a year since this whole thing started but… no, it’s just been a year,” Sirius sighed and Elías saw the end of the tunnel, the lot of them moving out, one by one. Severus was laid against the calm trunk of the Whomping Willow and Elías glanced at him worriedly.

Remus and the other Gryffindors had fallen behind, due to Ron’s injury and Elías threw Pettigrew out with a tight grip, letting the _lumos_ fizz out in order to press the tip of it against Pettigrew’s head.

“One wrong move and I’ll make you forget how to close your sphincter,” he hissed.

“A-alright!” he squeaked and Elías took two single steps forward before he saw it.

Bathed in the spare lights of the castle and the glow of the stars was Hogwarts, beautiful and regal, a shadow against the Black Lake and the horizon of Scotland, shaded by the thick clouds over the moon. And by the hill, next to each other, were Harry and Sirius, staring at it, just like he’d seen before a thousand times. He felt his breath hitch for a moment, hand tightening on Pettigrew’s ties, eyes burning as Sirius spoke up.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he murmured, Harry nodding, his hands digging deep into the pockets of his muggle hoodie. “I’ll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It’ll be nice to do it again as a free man.”

Harry looked over at Sirius, his gaze so different from the Shrieking Shack and Elías saw the relief, the… _want_ in Harry’s eyes. The kind of want that appeared when he looked at Ron and the Weasley’s being a family, or whenever Elías spoke of his parents. This poor orphan boy, shoved into the spotlight, would finally be able to have normal life. A _family_. And that was all that mattered.

“What you did there was very noble,” Sirius spoke up.

“It wasn’t,” Harry replied firmly. “It was the right thing to do. Not just for your freedom but… killing Pettigrew won’t bring my parents back. It won’t make me feel better. I know that now.”

“Good,” Elías told them, dragging the traitor in front of him and looking over at Harry, brushing his hair out of his eyes, curly and a bit too long by now. “You’ve learned a lot this year, Harry, and done a lot of growth. I’m happy to see that you don’t have that… same anger in you.”

“You… said it was justified,” Harry said and Elías nodded, still thinking so. “And I know it is but… I’m just tired. I just want Sirius to be free and – and to hear about my parents. And – and have good summer!” he added, making Elías grin.

“We will,” he promised, tapping his nose before turning to Sirius. “If you don’t wanna go to Grimmauld Place, I’ve got a spare room in my house. Until you find your footing.”

“That’d be _great_ , angel,” Sirius sighed deeply, giving a little laugh and beaming at him, arm moving around Harry’s shoulders and squeezing gently. “Are you going to finally show me all those records you keep boasting about?”

“As long as you don’t make a mess of them,” Elías warned, laughing.

“I owe you one,” Sirius said, a bit more serious. “You saved my l –”

“Just… for the love of Morpheus,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “Just go to _therapy_ as soon as you can, Padfoot. That’s all I want.”

“Therapy?” Harry asked, looking over at Sirius.

“We all need it,” he mumbled just as they heard the others get out of the tunnel, Ron grunting and Hermione murmuring encouragement to him.

Remus looked haggard, exhausted, nearly collapsing and Elías moved Pettigrew towards them, eyes roaming the group, seeing Severus starting to wake up.

“We need to go,” Elías urged them all, handing Pettigrew to Remus and cupping his face quickly. That tumble down the stairs had seemed to fuck him over more than Elías had thought. “We’re almost there, yeah? Hold on.”

As Sirius and Harry joined the group, he approached Severus, gently slapping his face, the potioneer rushing to grip his wrist, eyes fluttering open.

“Wake up,” Elías told him firmly, lips pursed, seeing Severus take in his face when the clouds parted to shed some moonlight on the group. “Get up, grab Pettigrew and let’s move to the castle.”

“The… m-moon,” he rasped, standing with the help of a hand on the Whomping Willow, making Elías’s entire bloodstream _freeze_ at the words. “It’s a f-full – _moon_.”

“Tonight –” Elías wheezed before turning to Remus, who was doubling over, eyes lost, trying to stumble away from the kids as Sirius gripped his shoulder. “The Wolfsbane –”

“The Blue Moon will – nullify it!” Severus moved in front of Elías. “Run –”

“No! No, the kids – Pettigrew –”

“Remus, breathe!” Sirius was calling for him, hand rubbing his back as Elías watched him shake, hands shifting, making him freeze.

“Black, get _away_!” Severus shouted, hand reaching for Sirius just as Remus let out a blood-curling scream of pain, a bone _cracking_ loudly, making the kids scream and stand back – enough for Pettigrew to take the chance and rip Hermione’s wand away from her.

And before Elías could get to him, Pettigrew pressed the tip of it under his sleeve.

“ _MORSMORDRE!_ ” he shouted and Severus let out an agonizing noise of pain, mixing with Remus’ cries, Sirius rolling in the grass as the transforming werewolf threw him off him and a wave of _filthy magic_ pulsed from Pettigrew, leaving Elías gasping for air.

“RUN!” Sirius yelled at the kids, Severus rushing in front of them and Elías watching Pettigrew wave his fingers before turning to a disgusting fucking _rat_.

“No, no, NO!” Elías shouted, wand moving quick, trying to catch Pettigrew but he was much too fast.

Remus was no longer human at that point, a trembling mass of grey and blond fur on the grassy field and Sirius had shifted into a dog again. Severus stood beside him, his own wand back in his hand and Elías saw Harry, who looked back at him, mouthing _He’ll escape_ at him with a desperate look in his green eyes.

In a split second, Elías was rushing off after the rat, white paws touching the mud of the hill, feline nose guiding him through the night. Severus and Sirius were both skilled wizards and Remus… he didn’t even want to hurt the others, did he? Severus was an incredible duelist, Elías was sure – and the kids weren’t half bad, either! Harry had defeated a damn basilisk, a werewolf surely –

 _There_. Elías caught his tail moving into the Forbidden Forest and he sped up, eyes blazing, claws out as he rushed between bushes through the foliage. If Pettigrew escaped, Sirius would never be proven innocent. Elías couldn’t let him, _wouldn’t let him leave_.

He ran through the woods, not letting Pettigrew even think of looking for an escape into a burrow as Elías nearly caught him with sharp teeth, uncaring if he injured this murderer, letting out a yowl of anger when they crossed over a fallen tree and Pettigrew scrambled to move under a tree, Elías turning back to his human shape, panting.

“YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME, PETER!” he shouted, wand in hand, pressing it into the hole of the burrow and starting to fill it with water, hearing a rabbit rush out of the ground right behind him. Elías turned, smirking as he saw the rat desperately getting out of the burrow and Elías threw a shifting curse at him.

Pettigrew went back to human, his squeaking turning to panicked cries, turning around without Hermione’s wand, eyes wide.

“Mercy – Mercy!” he cried.

“You little fucking _shit_ ,” Elías hissed, stomping towards him when he felt it.

He felt a shadow passing, saw it over the thick canopy of the trees, obscuring the moonlight for a moment and Pettigrew let out a relieved sound, scrambling to his feet as Elías gripped his wand tighter.

It wasn’t a Dementor. It was like smoke, thick and insidious, moving quick to Pettigrew and pressing to the dirt before a familiar figure materialized. Amycus Carrow stood with a deep glare, hand shooting out to Pettigrew’s throat, squeezing tightly.

“How many _fucking_ times,” he began with a hiss. “Do we have to tell you to be _quiet_ , Pettigrew? Didn’t you learn your lesson the last time you called?”

“ _Hee – he – I_ –” Pettigrew pointed at Elías as his face began to turn blue and, lucky for him and unlucky for Elías, Carrow turned and let go of him, making the rat wheeze as he doubled over, trying to breathe.

“He’s mine,” Elías hissed, wand at the ready.

“Is that so?” Carrow’s sadistic grin took over his face, cruel blue eyes taking in Elías. “I didn’t think you’d _bring_ me a present, Pettigrew. Maybe you’re not as useless as you were at war.”

“He’s going to Azkaban, Carrow,” Elías told him firmly, starting to move in a circle around him as Amycus attempted to approach him, remembering Severus’ lesson.

The steps he took were carefully measured, his posture leaving something to be desired but inside Elías there was an instinct, a muggle instinct of leaning over, wand at the ready, eyes firmly on Carrow as he also unsheathed, the gnarled pale wood of his wand tight in his grip.

The howl of a wolf rang through the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Elías swallowed, glancing briefly to the side at Pettigrew, who was frozen in place. But that was all it took for Carrow to strike.

He used his whole body to cast a blood-red curse and Elías dodged, hearing the burning hiss of dead leaves and twigs on the floor but Carrow wasn’t done _at all_. He cast two, three, _four_ more in rapid succession, Elías grunting as he dodged two and used a _protego_ on the rest, his wrist almost giving in at the strength behind them.

Carrow was the same age was Severus, had been through a war, had a crazy look in his eyes and Elías knew that he would lose this duel. There was no way he, an inexperienced fighter, could take on a Deatheater with a thirst for blood while also catching Pettigrew. He had to think, he couldn’t rely on strength or skill –

“FIGHT, MUDBLOOD!” Carrow screamed as Elías didn’t make a move to attack, waiting, eyes narrowed, still walking in a wide circle but with his back never to Pettigrew. Elías wasn’t stupid.

“Give me Pettigrew and I’ll fight you,” Elías hissed.

Another curse, this time one that made him nearly stumble and Elías panted, thankful that his lessons had begun with shields.

“You bloody fucking _coward_ ,” Carrow snarled. “Not so eager when you’re not hiding in the shadows, are you, you _cunt_?”

“If you’d rather, we can do it the muggle way,” Elías grinned, seeing the way the man put himself almost under the tree. If Elías was fast enough –

“That’s the only way you’d even have a chance to win, wouldn’t it?” Carrow looked so angry and Elías had to keep goading him, swallowing as twigs snapped under his feet. One false move and he was dead. “The _muggle_ way, you disgusting –”

“The muggle way landed you and your sister in Azkaban, so I think it’s a pretty safe bet, don’t you think?” Elías threw and, like he’d hoped, Carrow threw another full-body curse, which he barely dodged, having to use a strong _protego_ for the next attack as he kneeled on the floor of the Forbidden Forest, knee nudging a thick, rotten branch.

“SHUT THE _FUCK_ UP!” the Deatheater choked out, rushing to get Elías by the neck but Elías had grabbed the branch and immediately slammed it against his head, the wood shattering and a pained scream ripping out of Carrow’s throat.

Quickly, Elías leaned over and bit Carrow’s fingers hard enough to break skin, making him drop his wand. Grappling with the man, taller and stronger than him, Elías struggled. He tried to move his legs in the way he’d been taught before so he could use his wand against Carrow but before he could even try and make the right move, he was blasted off the Deatheater into a weak tree, breaking it and ripping his shirt and skin with it until he was rolling on the floor, whimpering in pain.

His head spun, he didn’t know where his wand was and as he tried to sit up, he saw Pettigrew with Carrow’s wand approaching him, the look of a maniac in his eyes –

Another blast case, barely gracing Pettigrew’s nose and the man screamed and pulled back, eyes wide, falling on his ass. Elías blinked hard, trying to understand what was going on, who was here but Carrow was moving towards Pettigrew and gripping his wand, ripping it away from the shorter man. A shadow clad in dark robes stood in front of Elías, wand at the ready in his left hand, the other one missing, sleeve pinned up.

“Will?” Elías breathed, unable to believe that he was here. “What –”

“Jugson. Of _course_ ,” Carrow said with displeasure, standing behind Pettigrew with a curled lip. “The muggle _fucker_ comes to the rescue.”

“If I were you, I’d leave, Amycus,” Will said calmly, wand ready. “This is Dumbledore’s territory. I’m sure he’d noticed the call by now. Can’t be too far away, I think.”

“Give me the fucking mudblood, Jugson,” Carrow snarled out, Pettigrew’s eyes bulging out of his skull while Elías stood, injured and bloody and battered but still ready to fight, his blue eyes blazing with determination. “Weren’t you in Latvia with your little _muggle_? Huh? I heard you’ve a daughter now. A little _half-blood_.”

“I heard you’re barely able to feed yourself since a muggleborn beat you and your sister into a pulp with his own fists,” Will hissed and Carrow took a step forward but Pettigrew held onto his sleeve.

“If Dumbledore comes, we’re doomed!” he squeaked. “We’ve to leave!”

“No, you don’t,” Elías spat but Will moved in front of him. “He –”

“I don’t care what you want,” William told him firmly, glancing over at Elías with a dangerously angry look. “I came here for you. You’re coming back alive. Forget Pettigrew.”

“You can’t –”

Carrow let out an animal noise and lunged but Will turned, gripped Elías’ arm and everything turned black.

For a moment, Elías thought that he’d fainted or fallen into a Sight but the wind rushed in his ears and he could see the Forbidden Forest below him, Pettigrew and Carrow watching, the latter shooting spells in their direction. When Elías breathed, he had difficulty and he would’ve clutched at Will tighter if his hands had been _solid_. But the tips of them were like smoke, that black smoke, making Elías nearly panic.

“No, no, NO!” he shouted but the wind was too loud and Will had a tight grip on him, he couldn’t get away and they were speeding faster and faster, his heart in his throat, sobbing. Sirius. _Pettigrew_. The kids, and _Remus and Severus_ , oh Gods, he’d _failed_.

Elías wanted to cry, eyes closing tightly, pressing his face against Will’s arm as they flew far, far away from the Forbidden Forest. He couldn’t believe he’d failed. He’d failed everyone and now Sirius would have to hide and Harry wouldn’t have his Godfather and Sirius could possibly be caught and sent back to Azkaban –

The moment the two were outside the Hogwarts grounds, Elías felt the telltale shift and swoop of his stomach, indicating that they were disapparating. Without voice, throat clogged, Elías simply closed his eyes until he felt corporeal again, his feet touching ground, stumbling from the darkness.

Will panted for a moment, his single hand shaking over his wand and he leaned into a column. Only then did Elías notice that they were in yet another absurdly expensive living room or drawing room or whatever the fuck it was called, he really didn’t care. Overly ornate, overly expensive, overly _everything_. Elías wanted to tear it all down, frustration making him grit his teeth, lock his jaw, want to _scream_.

“Why did you run?!” Elías barked at William, who looked pale and sweaty. “Why would you _run?!_ I had him! I had him _right there!_ We could’ve fought! We could’ve –”

“I can’t _fight,_ Elías!” Will snapped, making Elías balk as Will pinned him with dark, brown eyes. “Don’t you bloody _see_ what I’m missing my _wand arm?!_ ”

“Pettigrew had no wand! We could’ve taken them!” Elías snapped.

“No, we _couldn’t_!” Will groaned, nearly falling to the floor and Elías heard, then, a soft little voice from the hallway.

“Father?”

Elías turned, seeing a young girl of about sixteen or so, her eyes wide and her eyes the same shade as Will’s. She looked not much like him but there was a slight resemblance and Elías stumbled back, realizing that Will had taken him to his _home_. Somewhere _safe_. Will had come to save his life and Elías was yelling at the poor man.

“Angie –”

“Father!” she rushed to him, helping him up, eyes concerned as she moved him to sit on the couch. “Did you apparate from England?! Are you insane?!”

“Had… to get away,” he rasped, eyes closing.

“Where are we?” Elías breathed, dreading the answer as he approached the two Jugson’s.

“Mazsalaca,” Will panted, eyes closed, his magic drained. “Latvia.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Elías breathed, hand burying into his hair, eyes wide. “How – why –”

“I felt it, the Mark,” Will explained and Angela let out a noise of surprise, her eyes wide. “Like… a phantom limb. I floo’d to Harvey’s and – he’d felt it, too. Pettigrew. We also felt… Carrow arrive. Narcissa begged me to go, as the – well, as the traitor I a-am.”

“She wants Pettigrew,” Elías murmured, eyes wide. “She – she could help –”

“Now Carrow and surely Dolohov have him,” Will interrupted, shaking his head. “There’s nothing she – or you – can do. He’s one of them now.”

“But they hate him!” Elías scrambled for any hint of hope that he could keep, thinking of Sirius – poor, poor Sirius. “They h-hate him, right?! They’ll want to fuck him over!”

“Doesn’t work like that,” Will grunted as Angela checked his severed arm, the stump, which looked… black. Elías felt his knees shake. “Darling, it’s alright,” he soothed her, his only hand moving to pet her hair. “…you got a haircut.”

“I did,” she sniffled, looking worried. She had a certain accent. “Father –”

“You look a lot like your mum,” he smiled and she let out a choke. “I’m alright. Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

“No, I’m staying,” she shook her head, holding onto his arm, glancing briefly at Elías before turning back to her father. “Who is he? What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you later,” William promised, looking sincere before he sighed. “Elías, they’ll take him as long as he’s useful. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Gods,” Elías choked, the heels of his hands pressing to his eyes before letting out a sob, feeling his whole body ache, heat and pain pulsing through him as he doubled over. “ _Fuck_. Shit, fuck, _shit!_ ”

“Welcome to the club,” Will rasped, head leaning back on the couch.

“Which fucking club?” Elías hiccupped.

“The one where no matter what you fucking do, you always end up losing.”

“Father, don’t move!” Angela said quickly as Will tried to stand.

“I’ve got to tell Narcissa what happened,” he replied, shaking his head and Elías pressed a hand against the shallow wound by his ribs, walking over to push at Will’s shoulder, feeling guilt crawl up his throat.

“Let me,” he said and Will looked up, blinking. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You… you saved my life, William. And I –”

“You saved Corban’s,” William cut in and Elías watched him, standing still. “We’re square now.”

“We always were,” Elías murmured and Will gave a cough before dropping back on the couch, breathing a long sigh. “I’ll go. Do you have a line to the Malfoy Manor?”

“Not here, but I’ve a line with Severus’ –”

Elías stumbled towards the chimney, gripping a handful of floo powder in his blood-soaked hand before throwing it at his feet, the flames engulfing him before he saw the familiar living room. He thought that he’d need to reach for more powder to get to the Malfoy Manor but immediately, he saw Lucius, Narcissa and Corban standing there, Harvey and Avery as well – even Sienna and George and James were there.

They all turned to Elías, eyes wide.

“Pettigrew escaped with Carrow,” Elías rasped and Corban rushed forward to support Elías, hand gripping his wrist, looking at the blood.

“What the fuck happened?” he breathed.

“Move – _move_ ,” Harvey snapped at them all, pulling out his wand as he pushed Elías to the wall, closing the wound on his side, making Elías wheeze. “Did you _fight_ Carrow?”

“Had to – Will came,” Elías panted. “He… helped me escape. M’sorry. I’m sorry, Narcissa,” he looked at her, at her pained grey eyes, the sorrow in them. “Sirius – I tried to h-help him –”

“You look like you rolled through a fucking _grinder_ , Fernández,” Harvey told him, face crisping with a strange look before whispering. “Where’s Severus?”

Elías let out a noise of worry, hand rubbing his face, smearing floo powder all over his cheek, “Werewolf – there was a werewolf –”

“Lupin,” Corban muttered and Elías’ eyes snapped to his.

Nobody in the room seemed surprised.

“Is he hurt? Is he alright?!” Avery asked Elías but the Spaniard just looked at him, gaping like a fish. “FUCK!”

“Let me go – back,” Elías wheezed, pain lacing through his entire body. Gods, everything _hurt_. “I have to go back – I’ve to see –”

“I’m going with you,” Narcissa stated and Elías simply nodded as Lucius turned to her, eyes wide.

“No, you’re not!” he said, rushing to grip her hand. “Cissa, there’s a _werewolf_ –”

“I don’t care!” she burst out, slapping his hand, making everyone look away. It wasn’t often that they saw these two quarreling. “I’m going with you, Elías. _Now_.”

“Let’s go,” he croaked, moving to the chimney before the two finally stumbled into the office in the dungeons, Elías’ vision swimming a bit. Had he really bled that much? He hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t noticed most of the pain until now and it was _excruciating_. His entire side burned and he was sure that he had badly bruised his shoulder.

He startled as he felt Narcissa’s arm moving around his waist, helping him, her beautiful black dress staining with dirt and still wet blood. Elías’ eyes went to her right arm, where her sleeve had slipped, finding the now familiar skull and snake. It gave him such a sense of pity and exhaustion, to know that not even Narcissa had been freed of the burden, walking up the stairs to the ground floor.

“I’m sorry,” Elías repeated again.

“You should’ve told me you knew where he was,” Narcissa’s lips were pursed.

“I didn’t know if you two were okay,” the Spaniard murmured. “I… I had to be safe.”

“He’s my _family_ ,” Narcissa’s voice broke and her lower lip trembled for a moment before she seemed to compose herself, chin high. “I must see him –”

They were moving towards the second set of stairs when they heard McGonagall yelp, turning to see her walking towards the dungeons, her hand over her heart.

“Elías!” she rushed to him, eyes wide. “What on _Earth_ happened?! Were you also –”

“Yes,” Elías grunted as the Head of Gryffindor fuzzed over him. “Where –”

“Severus brought the children back!” she told him and Elías’ stomach churned.

“And Black?” he whispered.

“In the West Tower,” she touched her face, eyes pained. “He was unconscious when we found him. He, Potter, Granger and Weasley. Thankfully, Severus was able to aid them.”

“Are – are they all okay?” Elías asked desperately, eyes wide.

“They’re all fine – Mr Weasley has a nasty bite in his leg but… it’s not a wolf’s,” Minerva told him and Elías let out a wheeze of relief. “They were all unconscious, we believe the Dementors attacked him. What happened?!”

“I’ll – explain after I’m… healed,” Elías told her and McGonagall gave a glance to Narcissa, whose face was stony, impenetrable. Elías gave Minerva a pleading look and soon the professor nodded.

“Yes, of course,” she murmured. “Go – go to the Hospital Wing.”

Elías just nodded, Narcissa next to him as they moved once more through the familiar, deserted halls of Hogwarts castle.

“They’ve got him in a cell,” Narcissa whispered.

“We’ll break him out,” Elías muttered so very quietly to her, eyes ahead. “Do not do it yourself. You’ve been seen. You’ve to let me do it. I’m just another victim.”

“Will you be able to?” Narcissa let her eyes rest on his and Elías simply nodded.

The two reached the Hospital Wing without much fuss, Elías looking up at the wide full moon, wondering where Remus was, how he felt, how much pain he was in. Was he in the Shrieking Shack? Was he in the Forbidden Forest? Gods, it’d all gone to hell so quickly, Remus must’ve been _terrified_ when he realized the Wolfsbane wasn’t working.

Inside the Wing, the first thing Elías saw was Severus next to Pomfrey, a bandage around his head, a cut over his cheek and a tensed, annoyed demeanor. The kids were all in the beds and Elías ran his gaze through them before pulling away from Narcissa, marching towards the other Slytherin, seeing the regret and shame in his eyes.

“Professor Fernández!” Poppy exclaimed, eyes wide at the state of Elías. “What happened to –”

“Elías, I –”

Elías slapped Severus with all his strength, sending the man stumbling, Pomfrey shrieking at him to stop it. Elías felt dizzy but he glared at Severus, watching him touch his reddening cheek, eyes wide, staring at the Spaniard as if he couldn’t believe it.

“You’re on _thin_ fucking ice, Snape,” he hissed at the man, pointing at him. “I want an explanation as to what the _fuck_ that was back there.”

“I…” Severus could barely speak.

“He’s got a concussion, stop it!” Poppy grabbed Elías by the arm, pulling at it and Elías hastily yanked it away, stepping closer to Severus.

“What did you tell them?” he whispered, eyes narrowed.

“Fernández!” Poppy insisted.

“They caught Black in the shore of the lake,” Severus said and Elías would’ve slapped the fuck out of him again if he hadn’t had to pull Narcissa back, her teeth clicking, eyes furious. “I tried to tell them about Pettigrew!” Severus defended.

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Elías hissed.

“I _tried_ ,” Severus insisted, gritting his teeth. “They did not believe me, my concussion discredited me and –”

“Dumbledore, wasn’t it?” Narcissa swallowed. “To make the Ministry seem –”

“Out of control,” Severus finished, nodding. “I didn’t – I know he’s innocent –”

“Remember that when you recall your stupid fucking _actions_ tonight,” Elías snapped at him, turning to Pomfrey, who looked furious. “Poppy. Sorry. I’m ready.”

“Very well,” she huffed, pointing at one of the beds. “Sit.”

* * *

Elías had various lacerations and a few puncture wounds from breaking a tree back in the Forbidden Forest. It hadn’t reached any vital organs but he felt like shit by the time Poppy was done with him, adrenaline gone and misery settling in. Severus and Narcissa sat nearby, her hands gripping her dress over her lap tightly and Severus nursing a red cheek with Elías’ palm marked on it, staring at the full moon through the window.

Elías wanted to go see Sirius. To free him, tell him to run, tell him that he was sorry. That he’d failed them all. That the summer he’d promised was nothing but a lie.

Gods, Harry surely would hate him.

Elías stood once Poppy was done with him, putting his ruined shirt back on and walking over to Narcissa and Severus, sitting beside her, staring at his feet as silence took over the Medical Wing. Poppy closed the door of her office, leaving them all there.

“I tried to catch him,” Elías croaked, making the two other Slytherins glance at him, at his shaking hands and watering eyes. “I… truly tried. I should’ve been more careful. I…”

“He faked his death for twelve years,” Severus said dryly. “He’s a sniveling little _coward_. If Carrow came – stronger, faster, better-trained than you – then I doubt you could’ve done anything, Elías.”

He felt incompetent. And like he’d let everyone down – especially Harry and Sirius. He watched his palms, filled with small, healing cuts before a thin, pale hand slid over them, making him turn to Narcissa, whose lips were downturned but her eyes were understanding.

“I don’t blame you,” she said, slowly entwining her fingers with his, squeezing, and Elías took in a deep breath. “There are things… out of our control, Elías. Carrow, Pettigrew, Sirius… sometimes…” she swallowed. “Sometimes there’s nothing you can do.”

 _Bullshit_.

Elías stood, hand leaving hers just as the doors opened, Fudge – _Fudge_? – rushing in with a couple of officials from the Ministry, including Crouch. The Minister took a look at the state of the two professors and gave a gasp, hand over his chest, so dramatic that Elías wanted to slap the expression from his face. He wasn’t up for bureaucracy tonight.

“Minister,” Severus spoke up, standing, voice calm and steady. At least Severus could do fucking politics.

The two stood in front of the officials and Elías crossed his arms, wincing at the pain in his ribs, nearly stumbling. Severus steadied him with a hand and Elías wanted desperately to slap his hand away, so fucking angry that he’d been so fucking stupid back at the Shrieking Shack. He’d thrown Remus down the stairs, he’d threatened Sirius, it’d been a _mess_. If he’d been conscious and working with them, maybe Pettigrew would be here. Maybe Sirius would already have his name cleared.

“Are you both alright?!” Fudge asked, hand still over his chest.

“We’ll be alright,” Elías murmured, the bandage around his ribs a bit tight and reassuring. Felt a bit like having a binder again and it was calming him down.

“I hear Black has been captured?” Fudge asked, eager.

“Yes,” Severus replied, voice dry. “After the Dementors nearly killed three students.”

Fudge’s face went pale and the officials all looked at each other, stunned. Severus began to explain the events of the night – the thoroughly modified events of the night.

He maintained the fact that Sirius hadn’t tried to kill Harry, that he’d simply tried to explain that Pettigrew was alive. Elías was still pissed but the way Severus told the story was _so_ convincing. No one believe him, though, not even with Elías corroborating beside him, telling them that Pettigrew was indeed alive. Their wounds, the bandage around Severus’ head and the stubbornness when Fudge said, “We all know the Black House, lad.”

Elías wanted to murder them. He was beyond frustrated and angry, keeping quiet while Severus told how he’d found them all laying in the shore of the lake, the Dementors apparently spooked away by something.

“Harry had been learning the _patronus_ ,” Elías explained quietly, making everyone turn to him as he stared at the kid on the bed, laying on his side, his back to them. “He… he must’ve fended them off by himself. That’s probably why he fainted.”

“I doubt a thirteen year old could conjure a _patronus_ that powerful,” Severus remarked and Elías threw him a glare.

“That boy killed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, so perhaps you could shove your disbelief where the sun don’t shine,” he threw, making Severus look away and the officials glance at each other with wide eyes. “Harry probably saved Hermione and Black.”

“Not Black, not really,” Fudge stated, hands in his tunic pockets. “He’s due for a Dementor’s kiss tonight.”

“ _What?!_ ” Narcissa stood, rushing towards them, eyes wide. “But – but Azkaban –”

“He’s too dangerous, I say,” Fudge stated, eying Narcissa with distaste as Elías tried not to throw up, his knees about to give in, Severus looking nauseous as the Minister turned to him with bright eyes. “You were lucky to be nearby, Snape!”

“I…” he looked guiltily at Elías, who was clutching at Narcissa as hard as she was clutching him, the two watching the potioneer. “I didn’t…”

“Order of Merlin, Second Class, I’d say!” Fudge announced and Severus positively turned green, wincing.

“I merely –”

“I’ll try to wrangle First Class,” Fudge nudged Severus and Elías wanted to rip his arm away, to strangle him. Damn the officials. This man had done _everything_ wrong since he’d been elected and Elías was nearing the end of his patience. “With that nasty cut you got there –”

“Elías is much worse off,” Severus croaked.

“Yes, yes, but – well, he’s younger, he can recover, don’t you?” Fudge gave him a dismissive look and Narcissa glared daggers at the Minister. “I’ll make sure to speak to you at the Board, next time there’s a meeting. I’m sure some of them will be interested in appointing you Headmaster once Dumbledore –”

“Excuse me,” Elías murmured, passing by them, stumbling out of the Hospital Wing, closing the doors behind him and pressing his hands to his face.

He doubled over, wanting to weep his heart out. Elías thought of Sirius, of his terrible attitude and need to fight, of his passionate talk of music and a subgenre nobody cared about anymore, of the way he placed G on guitar with the fingers wrong and his faraway gaze on the window and the way he laughed as if he were barking. Elías shut his eyes and choked, hands over his eyes, giving out a sob.

He heard a commotion inside just as Dumbledore appeared at the end of the hall, from the Courtyard, face neutral and pace hurried. Elías let out a strangled sound, rushing to him, immediately gripping his front robes with his eyes wide.

“Sir – _sir, please_ ,” he begged, making the man pause with surprise. “He’s innocent – I _swear_ he’s innocent. They’re taking the Dementors away, please, _please_ , we need – we _n-need_ to save him, Fudge is convinced –”

“I know he’s innocent, Elías,” Dumbledore sighed and Elías let out a sob of relief, hand over his mouth as he tried not to cry. “I’m very sorry.”

“You’ve got to _do_ something!” Elías shook him with tight fists.

“I can only try –”

“Bullshit!” Elías choked, tears streaming down the grime in his face, “That man is the last family Harry’s got! He’s innocent! He deserves a trial, he d-deserves –”

“I’ve got a plan,” Dumbledore replied calmly and Elías blinked at him, slowly letting go of his robes as the Headmaster looked him over, frowning. “What happened to you, Elías?”

“Pettigrew,” he rasped. “I… followed Pettigrew. Carrow came from – the call.”

“I noticed Dark Magic on the premises, yes,” Dumbledore nodded, sighing, honest worry in his eyes. “Has Poppy looked you over?”

“Y-yes,” Elías nodded, gulping, looking down at his ripped and dirty clothes. “Will Jugson saved my life.”

“I see,” he looked thoughtful, eyes slightly narrowed. “Just like that?”

“We’re friends,” Elías countered.

“I _see_ ,” Dumbledore repeated, eyes flickering to Elías’ right arm, where the snake coiled into his hand – a viper with its tongue out, entwined around a crescent moon. Nothing like the Dark Mark that Dumbledore was evidently searching for. “Be careful, Elías.”

“Just save him,” Elías croaked, vision blurry. “ _Please_.”

“Very well,” Dumbledore nodded before stepping into the Medical Wing, Severus walking out – without Narcissa, surprisingly. “Severus, are you alright?”

“Black is –”

“Innocent, I know,” he finished and Severus seemed relieved, watching Dumbledore with hopeful eyes, even though Dumbledore was a self-serving fuck and wouldn’t do shit on his own. Severus’ eyes found Elías’ and he seemed ready to speak to him as the Headmaster walked into the wing but Elías turned around and rushed towards the West Tower.

If he was fast enough, if he made it to the office, maybe he could free him.

“Elías!” he heard Severus call but he ignored him, rushing through the hallways, his leg giving a painful twinge that he ignored. Had he broken his ankle? Twisted it? “Elías, please!”

Elías was pulled back when Severus grasped his arm and Elías almost swung back to slap him again, or punch him, or just beat him into a bloody fucking _pulp_. But he reigned in his fury and instead glared at the potioneer, breathing hard.

“He’s going to _die_ ,” he spat at Severus. “Are you happy? Are you finally _fucking_ happy?”

“I never wanted to kill Black,” Severus said passionately, eyes wide, moving closer but Elías pressed his hand to Severus’ chest and _shoved_ , making him stumble back.

“No, you just wanted to ruin his fucking life,” Elías retorted, face turning from a picture of anger to one of misery, gripping his hair tightly as he sobbed. “And now he’s going to die. They’re going to execute him. Like barbarians. The lot of you wizards,” he cried, hand pressing to his eyes, letting out a noise of misery. “He spent twelve years in Azkaban for a crime he never committed and now he’s just going to d-die…”

“He’s _not_ ,” Severus said firmly, hand moving to grip Elías’ arm, pulling him closer to hiss, determined. “He is _not_.”

Elías’ eyes widened, watching Severus, swallowing as he heard the Minister and the other officials leaving the wing. Severus quickly pushed him into a little tucked wall, away from their eyes, glancing over his shoulder with narrowed eyes.

“We need to get to the West Tower before them,” he whispered to Elías and the Spaniard couldn’t believe Severus was about to help him free Sirius, the man he hated the most. “There’s a passageway through the Second Floor in this wing, it goes directly to Flitwick’s office. McNair’s gone to get the Dementors and we have to be quick –”

“Lead the way,” Elías breathed and Severus took his hand and _pulled_ him in the previous direction, towards the stairs, breaking into a run.

They turned the corner, about to pass by the courtyard doors when they nearly ran over – Hermione and Harry?

Elías gripped Hermione’s shoulders, eyes wide, stumbling, “What the –”

“What are you two doing out of the Hospital Wing?” Severus immediately asked and Hermione rushed to hide something under her sweater, making Elías pause, his hands shooting out to Hermione’s shoulders.

“Hermione,” Elías breathed, shaking slightly. “Hermione, did you –”

“Ah,” Dumbledore spoke behind them, making the two professors turn. “I see you two are back.”

“We did it,” Harry panted and Elías wanted to drop on the floor, knees weak. “Both Buckbeak and Sirius.”

“Both?” Elías breathed, eyes wide.

“Both,” Hermione nodded.

“Very well, very good,” Dumbledore smiled, his hand moving to pat Elías’ shoulder, squeezing. “Why don’t you two get back to the Wing, hmm? Before Poppy notices you two are gone. With the way you proclaimed Black to be innocent, the Minister is sure to be suspicious.”

“Run,” Elías breathed at them, pushing the kids to the other end of the hall.

Elías was stunned, heart in his throat, the relief he felt making him lean onto Severus for supper, who grabbed at his arm with a grunt, keeping Elías up.

“I suggest you two sleep, get some rest,” Dumbledore said, smiling.

“But Remus –” Elías croaked.

“I’ve located him inside the Shrieking Shack,” Dumbledore assured and Elías sobbed out loud, scrubbing his face, giving out a wheeze just as a commotion was heard outside, the doors flying open to see the Minister red-faced.

“Dumbledore!” he called, frantic. “Black has escaped!”

“What?” Elías’ eyes widened dramatically.

“Door torn off the hinges. The man had no wand,” one of the officials muttered, eyes dark as he shook his head. “The absolute madman. He must know deep Dark Arts…”

“Certainly,” Severus said, eyes denoting what Elías knew to be mock seriousness but the others thought to be worry. “That man is deranged.”

“Oh, what will we tell the press now?” Fudge fretted, hand over his mouth, more concerned with his fucking image than a killer on the loose. “Potter and that girl that were screaming –”

“They’ve been locked in the Wing the whole time, with Poppy and Narcissa watching over,” Dumbledore gestured at the double doors at the end of the hall. “And Severus and Elías here are in no shape to run now, are they?”

“No, certainly not,” Fudge sighed, looking over the two professors. “Oh, and the Dementor issue…”

“Will they be taken away?” Dumbledore asked eagerly.

“Certainly!” Fudge squeaked. “Trying to give Potter a kiss… it’d be the end of my career!”

“Certainly,” Severus muttered, annoyed and unimpressed.

“You two truly should get to bed,” Dumbledore insisted and Elías could only nod dumbly, letting Severus guide him out.

The adrenaline faded once more, heart beating a hard rhythm against his chest and Elías wanted to dissolve into tears. He looked up at the moon starting to fall in the sky and then turned to Severus once they’d reached the main castle, swallowing.

“You would’ve risked it all to save him,” Elías murmured, making Severus pause, his hand twitching at his side. “Why?”

“Because,” Severus scowled, glaring up at the ceiling. “Because…” he rubbed the bridge of his nose and let out a deep sigh. “I… I admit the way I acted back there was –”

“Sirius didn’t help either but you were _off the charts_ , Severus,” Elías rasped, shaking his head. “I could barely recognize you as the man I know now. Why did you decide to help me _now_ , when you could’ve… just let him d –”

“Because Black was _right_ ,” Severus murmured and Elías felt a spike of pity, seeing Severus’ eyes start to water, hands shaking. “Because Regulus would’ve never forgiven me if I got his brother _killed_.”

“Sev,” Elías’ breath hitched, covering his mouth, not wanting to sob out loud.

“Regulus loved him, as much as he _shouldn’t have_ ,” Severus turned his hands to fists, body shaking. “And Regulus – much like Narcissa… to him, family was everything. What kind of friend would I be if I let his death happen? What kind of… of _person_ would I be if I dishonored Regulus’ death by letting his brother be _kissed by Dementors_?”

Elías was _so tired_. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was cry and sleep for two days. He covered his face for a moment, taking in slow breaths.

“And though I… hate to admit it,” Severus finished, so very quietly, such a confession that it was. Elías looked up at him, at his bloodless, stony face. Severus wasn’t looking at him, he was watching his own shaking hands. “I hope the bastard is alright.”


	74. The Last Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> \- Scars  
> \- Wound cleaning  
> \- Alluding to child abuse (regarding Theodore)  
> \- Mention of bullying

Sleep did not come to Elías that night, not surprisingly, but he stayed in his bed for the remaining of it, wishing to fill Remus’ wish not to show up if the full moon was still up. He wrapped his arms around his knees, sat up in bed and watched the Forbidden Forest from his window, exhaustion draining him but worry keeping him awake. He didn’t want to sleep, either. Remus would be a mess once the sun came out.

He wished he could talk to Sirius. He desperately wanted to and Elías hadn’t realized just how close the two had become until… he wasn’t around anymore. He cried for a little while about it, while nobody could watch, sobbing gently into his knees as he thought childishly of how fucking unfair and cruel this all was. Sirius should’ve been freed by now. Pettigrew should’ve been behind bars.

The first dregs of sunlight were all the motivation Elías needed to shower, get dressed, grab some tea for Remus and walk out the grounds towards the Shrieking Shack, seeing no Dementors for the first time in the Hogwarts grounds. It made him feel strange, the realization that this… this was all _over_ making him swallow.

There was no blood in the entrance to the tunnel, he realized, and he stared at the patch of grass for maybe a bit longer than he was supposed to, remember how he’d pushed away a very important Sight – or what felt like a really important Sight – to save the kids. What had it been? Had it had something to do with Draco? It had appeared when he’d spoken to the boy but sometimes it had nothing to do with anything near him.

Had it been the clocktower, the nearby events, the Deatheaters?

Elías tried not to think too hard about it as he walked through the tunnel – there were no answers to be found, no answers in the endless questions about his Sight and what caused them. What mattered now was Remus, picking up all the things they’d left in the Shack and hope that Sirius wouldn’t be caught with Buckbeak.

When he reached the end of the tunnel, though, he saw a light and Elías blinked, freezing. He stared at Severus, who lowered his wand slowly, shifting his grip on a shaky Remus with a sigh.

“Good morning,” Severus murmured.

“Remus,” Elías breathed, rushing to the other man, cupping his face. There was a blanket around him, the one Elías had given to Sirius the night they played Dreams by Fleetwood Mac together. Elías watched Remus lift his head, eyes red, looking like he’d been crying for hours and his heart broke. “Oh, _Moony_ …”

Carefully, the Slytherin wrapped the werewolf in his arms, Remus clutching at the back of his shirt, shivering hard. Severus’ hand stayed on Remus’ back – not moving, just… there. Like a weight. With the way Remus was shaking, Elías didn’t doubt it was to ground him.

“M’sorry, sorry, _sorry_ ,” Remus was stuttering and mumbling into Elías’ shoulder.

“We all fucked up last night,” Elías whispered, eyes closing, petting Remus’ hair with a gentle hand. “Severus nearly broke your neck. I ran after Pettigrew instead of helping you guys, _and_ lost him. None of us were thinking of the moon –”

“You didn’t hurt anyone, as I said before,” Severus told Remus, who simply whimpered into Elías’ shoulder. “…but I suppose it’s been a long night.”

“Let’s get you to your rooms,” Elías murmured, about to pull out his wand when Severus easily waved his to make them all invisible for a little while, dodging students rushing to their final exams as they finally reached Remus’ quarters.

The werewolf was still shivering as Elías gently sat him down on the couch, lighting the chimney and giving him the thermos full of green tea and honey. Severus closed the windows and pulled on the curtains, letting the fire be the only source, just to be gentle on Remus’ eyes while Elías sat next to Remus. The Gryffindor leaned into his shoulder, clutching the thermos, eyes a bit distant and Elías rubbed his shoulder.

“You’re alright. We’re all alright,” Elías kept reassuring, over and over and over again until Remus finally stopped shaking, eyes closing.

Severus sat on the other side of the couch, staring at the two other professors, concern and guilt shining through his features. Elías remembered a time when Severus had been difficult to read, to understand, but now he could see it clearly in every gesture he made.

“What…” Remus began with a rasp, swallowing, making Elías look at him. “What did… Harry say?”

“Harry?” Elías asked, startled.

“What does he think of me now?” Remus looked up at Elías, fear in his eyes.

“I don’t know, Remus,” Elías confessed, sighing. “You’ll have to ask him.”

“I can’t face him – I can’t face _any of them_ ,” Remus covered his face with his hands, taking in a shuddering breath. “Their terrified eyes –”

“Hermione covered for you,” Elías offered. “Obviously she cares.”

“I’d say that lot do not have a care for your condition,” Severus spoke up and Remus glanced over at him, surprised, but Severus stared at the fire. “They saved Black’s life and the hippogriff’s. They had bigger problems than one of their professors being a werewolf.”

“I also am fucking angry at your attitude with that whole werewolf essay,” Elías pointed out, glaring at Severus, who winced and looked away. “You purposefully tried to uncover Remus’ secret –”

“We’ve talked about it this morning,” Remus interrupted, making Elías look down at the Gryffindor. “Elías, it’s fine. We… we came to an agreement.”

“What agreement?” he frowned.

“That I was being a bigot,” Severus spoke up, making Elías glance at him. “And that I should stop.”

“Good,” Elías stated firmly, holding Remus closer, feeling him shiver again so Elías wrapped the blanket tighter around him, kissing the top of his head. “Do any of you have exams?” Elías asked.

“In fifteen minutes,” Severus nodded, sighing.

“In the afternoon,” Remus replied.

“I’ve got one at night, for Fifth Years,” Elías let out and he rubbed his temple, sighing. “I’ve got… so much to do. Talk to Dumbledore, talk to Harry and Draco, message Will –”

“He sent me a letter this morning,” Severus spoke up, making Elías pause. “Explaining what happened. I… did not ask, but are you alright?”

“What happened?” Remus asked, confused.

“Carrow caught Pettigrew,” Elías murmured and Remus sat up, eyes wide. “I uh… fought him. Barely. He and Pettigrew would’ve killed me if Will hadn’t showed up.”

“Who’s Will?” Remus turned to Severus.

“Jugson,” he explained and Remus spluttered.

“ _Jugson_? The deserter?” his eyes were wide. “I didn’t know he was still –”

“He’s our friend,” Severus said hastily, waving a hand. “In any case, he saved Elías’ life before Carrow and Pettigrew could end it.”

“He does tend to do that,” Remus snorted and Elías frowned, wondering what he meant, making Remus sit up fully and tell Elías, “Back at war, Jugson was apparently smuggling muggles out of England from his position at the Ministry. He was caught when Lily was captured on a mission and Jugson turned on them. She was the one to cut off his arm.”

“What?” Elías breathed, eyes wide.

“Apparently, his _secret wife_ had been one of Lily’s old muggle friends,” Remus told him, shaking his head a bit. “Was a surprise, that one.”

“Not to me,” Severus grunted. “We all knew. The closest friends, anyway.”

“He’s a good man,” Elías murmured, thinking of Angela and how he’d nearly collapsed on the couch. “Fuck, I yelled at him. I was a dick.”

“You were nearly killed, he’ll understand,” Severus dismissed, standing. “I have to leave. My students are waiting,” he took a deep breath, fixing the collar of his tunic before he walked closer to Remus on the couch, hands behind his back, eyes firmly on Remus’ greens. “But before I leave, there is something I must tell you.”

Elías blinked, looking between the two of them, Remus tired and confused.

“What?” Remus rasped, soft and vulnerable.

“I’m sorry,” Severus finally said, making Elías nearly choke, Remus’ eyes growing wide. Severus didn’t stop there, though, and continued to speak clearly and sincerely. “I let my schoolboy grudge get a hold of present you, Lupin, instead of seeing what the situation required. My hatred for the things you did in our time at Hogwarts is justified but my actions are not. You were not the only… bully at Hogwarts. I was no innocent party. Neither were you. I recognize now that – that if I want to grow past the trauma of it, I’ve to come to terms with the fact that as I have changed, so have you. So… well,” he cleared his throat, eyes firmly on Remus’. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Remus rasped, eyes wet. “I’m sorry for the way we treated you. I’m sorry for the way we dismissed the effects of it, and – and my own attitude at the beginning of the year. You had _every right_ to hate me, Severus, and I understand, so I – I just –” he ran a hand through his hair and gave a choked sob. “Thank you. Thank you, I absolutely forgive you. Thank you for your – your apology and I’m sorry, too.”

“I’m not… quite ready to accept that apology yet,” Severus told him, wincing.

“That’s alright,” Remus reassured, slowly standing, moving in front of Severus and giving a relieved smile. “I’m – I’m glad we came to an agreement, though.”

“So have I,” Severus murmured and, just to hit the final nail in the coffin, he raised his hand and offered it to the Gryffindor. “Truce?”

“Truce,” Remus nodded, shaking it, making Elías let out a hysterical little laugh, unable to believe what he was witnessing, eyes wide.

“Holy _shit_ ,” he breathed, grinning. “Alright – if there is _anything_ to be grateful for this year, it’s probably _this_. You two – oh, I’m so proud of you two,” Elías mumbled, hand on his cheek, eyes burning a bit as Severus flushed and Remus gave a small laugh. “I’m very happy for you two.”

“We’re not getting _married_ , Elías,” Severus scowled.

“That’s the next step,” Remus joked and Severus recoiled so hard that Remus laughed again, doubling over a bit. “I’m joking! I’m teasing, Severus. That’s what friends do.”

“I’d rather they didn’t,” Severus said dryly, turning on his heels, opening the door of Remus’ quarters before he paused. “Potter,” he spoke up, making Elías and Remus pause. “What on _Earth_ are you doing here? You’ve exams –”

“I finished my last exam yesterday, sir,” Harry spoke up and Severus sighed deeply. “Is… is Professor Lupin here?”

“I’m here, Harry,” Remus rasped, leaving the blanket aside and glancing down at the dirtied, ragged clothing he still wore with a sigh. “A bit worse for wear.”

“Could I come in?” the boy called.

“Come in,” Remus sighed and Elías stood, moving next to Remus, rubbing his shoulder to support him as Severus gave them one last glance and left, Harry walking inside, closing the door behind himself. “Hello, Harry. Are you alright?” he asked kindly, trying to look optimistic. Elías gave Harry a small reassuring smile and realized that he and Remus very much collectively looked like shit. The kid had a few cuts on his face, too.

“I’m alright,” he shrugged, scratching at a scab on his neck. “I… wanted to talk with you, Professor? About um… what happened last night.”

“I’m… all ears,” Remus said, swallowing, looking scared and Elías stared at Harry, hoping he would have empathy and understanding.

“I’m very sorry,” Harry started with and Remus choked.

“I – I’m sorry, what?” Remus stuttered, making Elías smile a bit.

“I’m sorry about last night, when I said – when I said that you weren’t to be trusted, I – I trust the two of you!” Harry insisted, looking like he needed to say it, stepping closer and Elías reached for his shoulder.

“Harry, _Harry_ , we’re not mad at you,” Elías murmured and Harry paused.

“You’re not?” he asked.

“Christ, kid,” Elías laughed. “We thought _you_ were mad at _us_ for all the secrets we kept.”

“I’m used to those,” Harry mumbled. “But I get – I get that you had to keep Sirius safe. I’m sorry I threatened you… two with my wand,” he looked ashamed.

Remus glanced at Elías, who nodded at the Gryffindor before he carefully put a hand on Harry’s shoulder, making the kid look up. He didn’t seem afraid at all of Remus and Remus seemed to be taking that in, his eyes brimming with relief, with so much emotion. He opened his mouth, not knowing what to say and Harry seemed to suddenly understand what was going on, looking between the two professors.

“Hey, also – I really don’t care about the werewolf thing,” he murmured, making Remus just click his mouth shut. “I still think you’re the greatest professor I’ve ever had.”

“ _Merlin_ ,” Remus wheezed before pulling the boy into a deep hug, Harry clutching at his sides as Remus shook. “Harry – Harry, I’m _so sorry_ I put you and your friends in danger, I thought –”

“We’re all alright,” Elías cut in, rubbing Remus’ back before the two pulled away from each other, Harry watching as Remus rubbed at his eyes. “We’re all exhausted, I think. Especially you, Remus. Must’ve been a harrowing full moon.”

“We thought Professor Snape was poisoning you,” Harry said, making Remus laugh.

“No, no, not at all – he brews my Wolfsbane potion, and kindly so,” he added, taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Harry, I – I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“It’s alright,” he shrugged, giving a small smile. “You… you and Professor Fernández are friends, right?”

Remus blinked and Elías crossed his arms, amused, saying, “Of course we’re friends.”

“Does that mean you’ll come over during the summer?” Harry asked, smiling and Elías hip-checked Remus, the werewolf laughing with disbelief.

“He _better_ ,” Elías grinned, Remus looking over at him with a small smile. “You promised you’d attend all those barbeques, did you not?”

“Forgot I owe you that,” Remus laughed, shaking his head. “Just as long as you keep amusing my father.”

“Don’t I always?” Elías giggled, rubbing his nose before looking at Harry with a relieved and happy look. “Yes, Harry. He is.”

“That’s _brilliant_ ,” he grinned.

“We’ve still got to talk about a few things,” Elías said, a bit more serious. “And I’ve got to tell you a lot of… very confusing stuff, Harry. About me, about the Sirius situation and the like. I don’t want you in the dark and I promised I’d be honest with you.”

“I see,” Harry’s smile dropped only a little. “Thanks for being honest, I guess. It’s more than what people usually are with me.”

“Shouldn’t be,” Elías scowled before he sighed deeply. “For now, I think Remus deserves a nap. And honestly? So do I.”

“Oh! Right, right! Sorry!” he said shyly, moving towards the door and opening it before he paused, turning to the two professor, giving a small smile. “I’m glad that you two came this year.”

Elías pressed a hand to his heart, feeling his lower lip shake a bit, “ _Harry_.”

“Don’t cry, come on,” Remus soothed, rubbing Elías’ shoulder and Harry gave a little laugh before finally leaving, the door shutting and Remus and Elías standing there, exhausted, looking at each other. “I feels…”

“Surreal?” Elías finished, giggling hysterically. “Gods. I don’t feel like any of this is real. I keep wanting to go and tell Sirius at the Shack.”

“Yes, I… me too,” Remus muttered, rubbing the side of his neck and wincing. “Everything hurts. My head, my back, my neck, my… chest. I feel awful.”

“Are you badly hurt?” Elías asked him, now worried and Remus gave a small grunt.

“Honestly? A… a bit,” he winced and Elías pursed his lips, not liking the answer. “It’s alright, Eli, all I need is some sleep, I really don’t want to go to Pomfrey right now –”

“Come to my rooms, then,” Elías grasped his hand gently, worriedly watching his best friend. “Please? Remus? I’ve got a first aid kit there and I can patch you up super quick the muggle way.”

Remus sighed deeply, rubbing his face before he finally nodded. “Fine. Alright, fine, yes. Lead the way.”

Hopefully everyone’s in class already,” Elías murmured before the two moved out of his rooms carefully.

The trip back to the Astronomy Tower was easy, if not a bit tiring but it was best to take care of Remus’ wounds now than let them fester until tomorrow. Elías did feel much safer and much more comfortable as he entered his room, though, and he did them both a favor and pulled shut the curtains with a wave of his wand, letting out a deep sigh.

“Could I grab a spare shirt?” Remus asked Elías, who nodded as he moved to the bathroom for that first aid kid.

Remus rummaged through Elías’ wardrobe, confident enough in their friendship to throw aside a pair of hotdog print briefs and find one of those oversized comfortable shirts, throwing his dirty, ripped one to the floor where Elías’ own from last night laid. When Elías came back with the kit, Remus sat tiredly on his bed, the bedside candle lit and in his boxers and the shirt.

“Comfy,” Elías gave a lopsided smile before sitting down and sighing. “Alright, where does it hurt?”

“My back is – pretty fucked,” Remus grunted, shifting on the bed and Elías frowned as Remus took off his shirt.

He’d known for a while that the man was filled with scars, they’d discussed this in Camposoto, Elías had shown Remus his own scars. But still, the moment Remus gave Elías his bare back… he was left breathless for a moment. Each one had been a wound, had been painfully recorded onto his skin and Elías wondered if Remus remembered them. On his shoulders, Remus still had some freckles and it made Elías smile a bit, pressing one hand to the middle of Remus’ back.

Remus shivered, “Your rings are cold.”

“Sorry,” Elías pulled back.

There were two deep wounds similar to Elías’ from the night and he guessed Remus had thrown himself or been thrown against a tree. Carefully, he began to disinfect them with gentle dabs of a soaked cotton, Remus not making any noises or flinching. When you were a werewolf, this pain probably was nothing, Elías guessed.

“Severus helped you,” Elías murmured, starting a quiet conversation.

“He did,” Remus hummed. “We both know why.”

“He feels guilty about last night,” Elías sighed.

“Possibly,” Remus chuckled. “I think he also wants to make you happy.”

Elías felt his stomach flop around, cheeks burning, “He… shouldn’t do it for me. He should do it for himself. He should do everything for himself.”

“I know that, but… sometimes it’s also good to have a bit of outside motivation,” Remus put softly, touching Elías’ pillow to distract himself from the sting of the cleaning of his deep cuts and lacerations.

“I suppose,” Elías bit his lower lip, then whispered. “I hope Sirius is okay.”

“I hope he is, too,” Remus admitted with a shuddery breath. “Merlin, I truly, _truly_ hope he’s alright.”

“He’s been in worse situations, I’m sure,” Elías quickly said, convincing himself and Remus as he put the bloody cotton away and began to pull out the bandages, gently starting to wrap the wounds, Remus holding up his elbows to help him.

“He has,” Remus’ lips twitched up. “Much worse. He’d boast about them.”

“He would,” Elías laughed quietly, then muttered. “I’m glad you’re with me, Remus. I’m glad you – you were with me this year. I don’t think I could’ve done any of the things we pushed through without you.”

“ _Eli_ ,” Remus choked, turning around and before Elías knew it, the two were hugging tightly, bandage rolling on the floor as Elías clutched at his friend, eyes wide, heart in his throat.

“I was _so scared_ last night,” Elías breathed, swallowing hard. “Remus – _Gods_ , Remus, your _bones_ cracked!”

“They always do,” Remus rasped. “I never wanted you to see it –”

“I’m so sorry, I’m _so sorry_ ,” Elías held him tight, nose pressing into Remus’ naked shoulder. “You probably feel so fucking violated, I –”

“—never want _anyone_ to see it,” his voice broke.

“I’m _sorry_ ,” Elías pulled back, cupping Remus’ face, seeing his red eyes as he quickly glanced away from Elías’ blues. “Are you alright?”

“Spooked,” he admitted, rubbing at his face, sighing, gently leaning to grab the roll of bandages and Elías took them gently, resuming his work of patching Remus up. “But seeing you and Severus made me feel a little less alone, I’ll admit. Like I’m – I’m not alone in this.”

“I’m glad,” Elías murmured, hand finding his, squeezing until Remus’ shoulders sank and relaxed, eyes fluttering shut. “Let me finish this up and we can take – take a long nap, yeah? _Una siestecilla_ ,” he nudged Remus, the Gryffindor chuckling a bit.

“Sounds good,” Remus croaked and Elías worked the final part of bandaging before cutting it and tucking the end, sighing.

“All good. Feeling better?” he asked.

“Feels cleaner, even if I need a shower,” Remus admitted, wincing. “And I’m sitting in your bed –”

“Dude, it’s _fine_ ,” Elías laughed, shaking his head. “It’s just – you know, the everyday. Lay down, I’m gonna put on my pajamas and join you.”

“I could take the couch,” Remus offered, already dropping on his back on the glorious, comfortable bedding, exuding relief and pleasure at the softness.

“Right,” Elías rolled his eyes, grabbing his pajamas and walking out of the room to change before he came back in comfortable shorts and a way too old shirt with the graphic design fading. He dropped next to Remus, groaning into a pillow. “…I’m too old for this shit.”

“Too _old_?” Remus’ eyes shot open and he began to laugh, clutching his stomach, head thrown back. “You absolute _wanker_ —”

Elías giggled, moving on his side, watching Remus turn to him, his green eyes and soft hair and scarred face something so dear to him that it made his heart beat painfully hard against his chest. He sighed, and so did Remus, watching each other for a moment.

“I’m glad I met you this school year,” Remus murmured.

“I’m glad we met, Remus,” Elías murmured, feeling Remus’ fingers slowly moving to entwine with his and Elías dared to move closer and cuddle against his side, his cheek against Remus’ shoulder, eyes closing as the werewolf turned his head, put out the last candle lit in the room and fell asleep with him.

* * *

The last days of school finished before any of them could really assimilate it, and Elías stood in front of his desk the very last morning, arms crossed, watching his Seventh Years sit in their desks, watching him, waiting for Elías to speak.

“Now,” he began, rubbing his stubbly jaw, giving a lopsided smile. “I know it’s slightly strange to bring all of you to my classroom, when I’m sure you lot have much more important things to do. _But_ , there is just one last lesson I want to give.”

“Aw, come on, sir!” Liam called, leaning back on his chair, giving such a wide grin – he’d passed all his N.E.W.T.s, after all. “It’s summer already! Give it a rest!”

Elías laughed with the class, letting his thighs rest against his desk, watching their faces and smiling.

“Over the last year, I’ve had the infinite luck and pleasure to teach all of you,” he began, making the class quieten. “From the most gifted to the one who had the most trouble,” his eyes went from Jane to Marcus – the latter had passed all of his N.E.W.T.s as well, and they’d spent yesterday at sunset throwing a few quaffles and managing to almost break Elías’ neck when he was hit with a bludger on the shoulder.

He looked better. Almost happy.

“I also had the misfortune of only being able to teach you this last year,” he added, arms crossing. “Whatever awaits for you all out there is up to the universe. I’ve taught you how to measure distances between planets, I’ve taught you what is up there, what to expect when you look at the sky. But stars aren’t just there to be counted, they’re there to guide you all,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, wincing. “I hope I’ve taught you more than Astronomy. You all have an incredible capacity for learning, changing, growing and being happy. Whatever happens, please remember that someone here at Hogwarts believes in all of you. _All_ of you.”

Elías nodded at all of them, “I wish you luck once you leave these walls, guys. May the stars guide you all.”

“I’m not going to _cry again_!” Jane sobbed, hands over her eyes before bursting into tears and Oliver stood to awkwardly pat her back, some friends moving to soothe her.

Elías laughed, feeling a bit emotional and before he knew it, Marcus Flint was rushing out of his desk and – hugging him. The class stood as stunned as Elías for a moment but soon Elías hugged the boy back, blinking hard.

“Thanks,” Marcus croaked, looking like he wanted to say more but clearing his throat and drawing back, walking out of the classroom.

Elías watched him leave, mildly concerned about his abruptness but other students soon came to personally say goodbye to him, leaving him a mess when the hour was up. He was still bubblering a bit when he finished taking his last personal belongings from the office, putting them all in a box. He’d put them back there in September – or well, hopefully not, if Hogwarts was chosen in the tournament.

He found, however, a familiar group dressed in silver and green waiting in his classroom when he walked down the stairs, rubbing at his eyes and laughing as Theodore’s eyes found his, such a bright blue.

“We thought you’d left already!” Pansy gasped and Greg moved forward.

“Need help with that, sir?” he asked, ever so polite.

“No, no, it’s okay,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Sorry, I bid goodbye to the Seventh Years and… well, as you all can see, I’m a _mess_.”

“We heard,” Draco spoke up quietly, looking nervous. “We… we want to give something to you.”

“ _We_?” Elías blinked, surprised, looking around the whole group. Blaise looked like he’d swallowed something sour and Elías hummed, putting the box on the desk. “Very well, go ahe –”

Vince moved forward and shoved something at Elías, the professor startling before he realized… it was a card. He blinked, looking at it before gently taking it. The front was a moving picture, a wizarding photo, and it… it was of the entire House of Slytherin, waving all at him. Elías felt his hand move to his mouth, trying not to cry again, giving out a laugh.

“Oh, dear,” he swallowed.

“I think it’s pretty clear why we’re going to win the House Cup this year,” Theo grinned.

“You’ve helped us a lot,” Pansy murmured, a small smile on her face as she moved to hold Vince’s hand, the boy nodding rapidly. “More – more than you know.”

“We’re sorry that we uh – we don’t know much about muggles,” Greg said, stuttering slightly. “So we asked Hermione?”

“We asked Hermione,” Draco flushed, looking away. “And – and she said muggles give cards? To teachers? Sometimes?”

“It’s signed by the Seventh Years,” Theo explained and Elías quickly opened it, seeing all the signatures and little messages of thank you.

“You’re all going to make me cry again,” Elías wheezed, hand covering his eyes before his arm came out to hug Vince, the closest one to him, the boy hugging him back easily. “Seems like yesterday when you all wouldn’t even leave any of you alone with me in a room, huh?” he chuckled.

“I still wouldn’t,” Blaise added and Elías laughed, grinning at him, taking the boy off-guard.

“I guess our playful feud shall follow on your Fourth Year, Blaise,” he simply said, letting Pansy also hug him. “You’ve all taught me a lot as well, I’ll let you know. I don’t think I’ve ever met a group of friends _so ready_ to do anything for each other.”

He lifted Theodore’s chin up, the boy smiling so honestly that it made Elías feel beyond tender. He loved these kids. He loved them so much.

“I hope you all have a good summer,” he cleared his throat a bit, rubbing at his eyes, putting the card in the box as well. “I’ll see you all – well,” he laughed. “When Narcissa decides to invite me over for tea, I suppose.”

“Hopefully,” Theodore murmured, eyes losing their spark for a moment and Elías felt a pang of fear and guilt. He would be returning home, with his father. And – and perhaps Narcissa could protect him? Lucius and Narcissa?

“Hey,” Elías nudged him, making Theo look up. “I’ve got one last gift for you, kiddo.”

“For me?” he blinked, surprised, and Elías rummaged through the box until he found Sirius’ Walkman, the one he’d retrieved from the Shrieking Shack. He pulled out the extra bag full of batteries and then put it all, along with headphones, in Theodore’s hand.

“Yep,” he smiled. “This is it.”

“What… what’s this?” he asked, confused, and Pansy moved closer to watch with fascination.

“That’s muggle!” she exclaimed.

“To listen to music,” Elías nodded, making Theodore look up hopefully. “You put this in your head,” he gently set the headphones on Theodore, making Vince laugh as Theo blinked. “Click here – see?” Elías indicated. “Rewind the tape –” he did so with a grin, Pansy laughing at the small sound it made. “And then hit play.”

He clicked on the play button and, immediately, the first chords of Holiday in Cambodia by the Dead Kennedys began to play, Theodore’s eyes widening and jaw dropping. He looked just like Elías had, the first time he heard this song and Pansy laughed.

“How – how is this happening without magic?” she asked, eyes wide.

“Muggle technology is incredible,” Elías grinned.

“Is – how many songs are in here?” Theodore asked and Elías shrugged.

“A couple. If you want,” he added, arms crossing. “I’ll bring you more cassettes – the thing inside there, the one with the recorded songs – with other songs whenever I go to the Malfoy’s. Sounds good?”

“That’d be great,” Theodore nodded, sounding choked up. “I’m – I’m glad I get to listen to music over the summer.”

“Me too,” Elías smiled, ruffling Theo’s hair, getting a grin from him. “Now, you all wouldn’t want to miss the last feast of the year, would you?”

“It’s late, we should get to the Great Hall,” Blaise also put, looking impatient.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go say bye to Hermione,” Pansy teased him and Blaise flushed, trying to punch her arm but Greg quickly pulled her away, laughing. “Bye, Professor Fernández!”

“Bye!”

“Goodbye!”

“Thanks, professor!”

“Bye!”

“Goodbye, Professor Fernández,” Theodore murmured at the door of the classroom, clutching his Walkman tight in his hands, headphones around his neck. “Thank you. For _everything_.”

* * *

“Be honest,” Severus said dryly, drinking from his goblet as Flitwick played with his choir the last song, the feast about to begin. “How much have you cried today?”

“Shut up,” Elías mumbled, rubbing his cheek and Pomona and Remus gave twin laughs.

“Cheer up, laddie!” she told him, beaming widely. “Next year, you’ll see new faces!”

“I will,” Elías said softly, feeling a sudden… relief. The cycle would keep going – new kids would enter the halls of Hogwarts and learn. New kids would discover the wonders of the sky, of the earth, of herbs mixed with other ingredients, of the swish and flick of a wand. All those creatures, plants, potions, spells… there’d be a new year at Hogwarts, always.

Even if Marcus, Oliver, Liam, Jane and the rest left, there’d be new faces to pick it all up and Elías let his eyes stray to the Gryffindor table, where Harry was telling something to Dean and Seamus was laughing so hard with Ron that they were choking on their food and Hermione waved at Blaise at the other side of the Great Hall. Ginny Weasley sat on the Ravenclaw table next to Luna and Neville. Ara Zang in the Hufflepuff table watched the choir sing next to Cedric Diggory.

And in the staff table, Dumbledore sat back on his chair and clapped for the choir of Hogwarts, Flitwick bowing, Elías the first to stand up and cheer and clap along. Severus said something Elías didn’t catch and Remus slapped a hand over his mouth not to burst out laughing, making Hagrid pat his back in case the professor was choking.

“That was incredible, Fillius,” Elías pointed out, grinning at the professor as he took his seat next to Pomona.

“Thank you! Maybe next year you’ll finally join!” he smiled brightly.

“Maybe,” Elías left it there, chuckling. “I’m very glad we’ll work together this summer to bring the best of the U.K. to… you know what,” he smirked.

“Oh, so am I, so am I – I’ve got a couple of ideas already!”

“So do I!” Elías said enthusiastically. “We can run by them together and I’m sure we’ll be able to find something out. It’s exciting!”

“It is, it is!” he nodded before he was pulled into another conversation by Bathsheda.

“It’ll be a challenging summer,” Severus remarked, cocking an eyebrow at Elías. “Dueling lessons, the performance, taking care of a teenager…”

“I think it’ll be alright,” Elías replied, Remus and Severus watching him as he smiled down at the card he’d gotten from every Slytherin, clutching it lovingly. “I – I know it won’t be easy. Nothing ever is. But… I think as long as I’ve got my friends and family, I’ll be alright.”

“How optimistic,” Severus smirked, eyes to the front and when Elías turned to Remus, the werewolf was smiling as well, making him laugh.

“Perhaps so,” Elías replied, brushing his thumb through the picture.

“Well, I think it’s good to be optimistic,” Remus replied, nudging him, leaning a bit into Elías and giving a grin. “I’m usually not but – something tells me it’s going to be a good summer.”

“Something tells me you two will bother me at every chance,” Severus scowled.

“Something tells me,” Elías looped his arm around Severus, bringing him closer, doing the same to Remus’. “That for _once_ in your life, you’ll be glad for it.”

“Doubt it,” Severus rolled his eyes. Fondly. Happily.

And truly, that was the biggest change in this entire year. That somehow, through everything that had happened, though all the bad things and the surprises and the wounds and the scars opened… they were happy. And they were healing. And they were growing.

And things were changing for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we're here.
> 
> It's been a wild ride, I will admit. A lot of times the words just weren't coming but I pushed through, encouraged by the incredible response that all of you have given me. In my heart, I know I wouldn't have come as far as I have without all you people kudo'sing and commenting, yelling at me on the Discord Server or simply... simply reading. 
> 
> This fic was meant to be just a self-indulging piece of fic for me and my girlfriend and maybe a friend or two to read. I didn't expect people to be interested in it when I published it for convenience of reading for my girlfriend. It's been crazy, it's been... the wildest ride I've ever had on this site. On any writing site. I feel like I can reach the sky now and this was only the first part of so many.
> 
> You all enjoyed Elías, a PIECE OF ME, so very much. And while he is an idealized, self-insert-y character, I did put a lot of flaws into him that I see in myself. I let my story, my past, my shames and flaws into this fic and you all kept coming back, kept reading, kept telling me how real he feels, how much you identify with his trans-ness, with his faults, with the things he does wrong. 
> 
> I only hope this fic was as soothing for you all to read as it was for me to write. There's a lot coming after this but for now, I think I've earned myself a few days' worth of rest. I'll be uploading on Monday, November 8th of 2020, the next installment of these series called "Ad Astra Per Aspera". It'll be a Summer Interval, much shorter than this fic (I promise!) and it'll be titled "Strawberry Lemonade".
> 
> Thank you all. Thanks for everything, to everyone. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> Have a good week,  
> Nico


End file.
